SUPERFLY #55 - Mama Said Knock You Out

Speaker 1 Hey, David, when it comes to gifting, you know, I've learned there are two types of presents. Okay.

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Speaker 1 Oh, well, isn't that special?

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Speaker 1 That's right. I mean, I just want to do this when I hear that.
Way to go. Way to go.
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Speaker 1 Without trying too hard, David, not talking about you.

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Speaker 2 And you can get 20% off your first order with Jenny Bird by visiting jenny-bird.com and using code F-O-T-W at checkout. You know, when it gets colder, I always fall in the same trap.

Speaker 2 Heavy meals, too much takeout. And suddenly I'm like, why do my jeans hate me?

Speaker 1 I know. Yeah, me too.
I mean, I'll open the fridge in December and it's like half a pizza and an orange from 1997. Not a lot of healthy options, David.
But here's the thing.

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Speaker 2 Yeah, it's not just about eating better. It's about time.
I'd rather spend 30 minutes working on a bit for my hilarious act than 30 minutes staring into my oven going,

Speaker 2 is this thing even on?

Speaker 1 Right?

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Code POD50.

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Your future self will thank you.

Speaker 1 Yes. Thank you for not feeding me the leftover lasagna for the 12th time.

Speaker 1 That is our topic.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, I fluff and fold it. I have my secrets.
I have my ointments and my oils and my moisturizers.

Speaker 1 But when I am no longer on camera in life, maybe, you know, in Italy cruising around, I'm going full Letterman. This Dutch mane goes downtown, trims down.
This goes way out, covers all the sins.

Speaker 1 No more Adams have hole.

Speaker 2 Even any chest and neck sins, which goes all the way down.

Speaker 1 I still have a pretty good amount of chest hair.

Speaker 1 No, I don't. Not really.
I'm Norwegian and Irish. I mean, come on.

Speaker 2 This Letterman beard, does he still have it at that long?

Speaker 1 No, he trimmed about two inches off it, so it just covers his collarbone. I don't know.
But I think he looks good in it because,

Speaker 1 you know, all the stuff around here, not you, because you're kind of eternally youful. Your new nickname is Peter Pan Spade.
Christ's sakes.

Speaker 1 But I think Letterman looks good. It's just an advantage men have.
Women have to get facelifts, men can grow a beard. So, there, end of story, news flash.

Speaker 2 Um, you know what was funny.

Speaker 1 I could make a clip out of that, Patrick.

Speaker 2 He goes, not enough.

Speaker 2 But uh, I remember when the weekend for like a year, he had like a band-aid on his face or something,

Speaker 2 and then he had like a fat suit on. Was that something else, too?

Speaker 1 Who was that?

Speaker 2 The singer, the weekend, and then he

Speaker 2 don't think he ever paid off that band-aid bit.

Speaker 1 it was like a long play we're in the era that a band-aid it's not a bit it could just be a fashion choice i remember the first dude i saw dude who had pants on levi 501s and one pant leg was rolled up on the top of his knee and first time i saw it just walking around what's up uh no comment no wound on the calf but just one pant leg rolled up i remember the first time I was going on the lot.

Speaker 1 I remember the first time a guy said, hey, dog to me. What's up, dog? What's up, dog? And that was kind of cool, too.
So, which brings us to Kendrick Lamar. Should we, I know it's oh, Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we got Super Bowl bits. What's up?

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? It's not a bit.

Speaker 1 I'm just, well, let me just put in context because I don't want to be a grumpy old man. Everything was better than it had.

Speaker 2 You don't get culture. You don't get it.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 I was born and bred and introduced to hip-hop in the 90s. I'll say the hip.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I got three examples. I'm saying a hip-hop in the 90s or rap, if you will.

Speaker 1 The first one was Sir Mix a Lot. I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Cannot lie. That's funny.
Very potent. Really? I got good buttons and I cannot lie.
I don't choose that.

Speaker 2 And I'm good rhythm. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Got it. Super catchy.
Get stung. One of your favorites, I believe, which I think also is crazy brilliant.
Mama said, Knock you out.

Speaker 1 Mama said, Knock you out by LL Cool J. Mama said, Knock you out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the beginning is good.

Speaker 1 So it has an anthem. I mean, the lyric of mama, my mother said, knock you out.

Speaker 2 My madre.

Speaker 1 Madre. Yeah.
Mia Madre. It'll knock you all the out though so.
It's sort of sweet in a way. Mama said, knock you out.
I'm going to sweet.

Speaker 1 Mama said, get you in a headlock.

Speaker 2 I'm going to say, kick you into balls.

Speaker 1 I'm going to kick you into balls.

Speaker 1 Mom said, wrap a pizza

Speaker 1 around your face. I'm going to wrap a pizza around you.

Speaker 2 These were all possible lyrics that they had to whittle down.

Speaker 1 Don't call it a comeback. Is that it? I've been here for years.
Is that how it starts? Don't come back. Yeah, don't call it a comeback.
LL Cool J is cool.

Speaker 2 That's a great beginning, too.

Speaker 1 He was on, yeah, don't call it a comeback. I like LL Cool J.
I think he also was on SNL as the host,

Speaker 1 and I had him in church chat in read-through. And then, for whatever reason, he was perfectly good.
Forever reason, his part got cut. I wasn't sure the reason I did it.
By you?

Speaker 1 I don't remember. It wasn't a big part.
But then later on, he sided up.

Speaker 2 He got a shit job by Carl.

Speaker 1 He had the general sidled up and kind of was very serious. He goes, What was wrong with what I do? What would I do? I said, What did you wrong? I said, Lauren said, knock you out.

Speaker 1 Lauren said, cut you out. Knock him out.
Okay, two more. Just before we go to Kendrick lamar who before we go to commercial seems like a beautiful person um

Speaker 1 snoop dog throws that in

Speaker 1 which one gin and juice drop it like it's hot was the first one

Speaker 1 holy i played a day in the life

Speaker 1 for my kids and they put on drop it like it's hot drop it like it's hot drop it like it's hot

Speaker 1 but talk about crazy catchy great

Speaker 1 also gin and juice i like big butts drop it like it's hot. Mama said, knock you out.

Speaker 1 And then the other thing I was introduced to hip-hop and rap was Eminem

Speaker 1 with a real slim J.

Speaker 1 Please stand up. Please stand up.
And so, this is my introduction to how I perceive Kendra.

Speaker 2 This is a big wind-up. I think I know where you're headed, though.

Speaker 1 No, I don't.

Speaker 2 What about Kennedy?

Speaker 1 I don't know if I understand it, but

Speaker 1 he sounds like an auctioneer.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm not, I'm saying Mama said knock you out. And all I got, I couldn't get a

Speaker 2 decipher.

Speaker 1 Now, I don't know. I like Mama Said Knock You Out.

Speaker 2 Maybe a catchy hookie. I mean, I think one song in there I sort of knew,

Speaker 2 but I will say I did know them all. Fine.

Speaker 2 That show's not for me. fine.

Speaker 2 And I like the GNX because they have a Grand National. Remember, I had one for a long time.

Speaker 1 I just want to understand it, and I want the commenters to help me. I'm not shed on it.
I'm just saying I don't quite get it. And the early hip-hop rap was very, very clear to me.

Speaker 1 And I just trying to understand it. And also, the whole diss song about Drake.
I've heard Drake stuff. I really like it, but that's kind of.

Speaker 2 I agree that I listen.

Speaker 2 If a song is about you're in a fight with someone or you're mad at someone, is that really the most peaceful, fun Super Bowl Bring Us All Together song, or is it like heh, fuck you, to some guy?

Speaker 2 And everyone's like, Hey, I know what he's talking about. Fine, also, great visually.

Speaker 2 I didn't, I got a little snoozy in the middle, but great visually as far as all the outfits, the dancing, and you need that element. You definitely need that.

Speaker 1 I think I give uh Kendrick KL an A plus for the aesthetic, the dancing. And I did watch, I uh read an article in the New York Times

Speaker 1 and it broke down all his visual elements. In other words, they used to call him

Speaker 1 MTV videos, and they are sort of brilliant. The visual is brilliant, but

Speaker 1 you know, I'm gonna, it's growing on me already the more I do it, but you know,

Speaker 2 yeah, I mean,

Speaker 2 there was a lot to that Super Bowl, also. Also,

Speaker 2 well, the whole thing, you watched it. Chiefs got smoked.

Speaker 2 Oh, how about this? The Kanye commercial that he paid for. $7 million for that bookie little commercial on his iPhone, which he's done that move before, which is pretty funny.

Speaker 2 He's paid $7 million, films and iPhones. I have no money left.
Here's my grills. Go to my website.
Fine. Ends it with going, um,

Speaker 2 wasting time.

Speaker 2 But what I didn't know, you go to the website. What is it, Dana?

Speaker 1 Yeezy.com or Yeeze.com.

Speaker 2 You go there. It's one item, t-shirt with a swastika on it.
I saw that.

Speaker 2 So listen,

Speaker 1 we all have different merch.

Speaker 2 I'm listening.

Speaker 1 We all have different merch.

Speaker 2 It's a very interesting merch.

Speaker 1 Oh, Shopify.

Speaker 2 How long does it take to take that down? How long do you have to be told? Maybe this isn't, is it a joke? Is it what?

Speaker 2 I mean, he's controversial, but at a certain point, it's just beyond controversy where people just go hey come on now what what are you doing what are you and are those checks clearing for seven million i guess so but

Speaker 1 well

Speaker 1 as far as stealing focus like i put the bookends he was there with his teeth and i i i couldn't really talk you know this is my new girls and uh you know uh I could I again, this is all I could do on an iPhone, you know, because I paid so much for the commercial, $8 million.

Speaker 1 So it's kind of brilliant. And then the bookend to that is Bill Murray going, hey, you know, you might want to get another beer, but meantime, you know, Bill Murray, but yahoo.com.

Speaker 1 And I don't know what product that was for unless it was for Yahoo.

Speaker 2 I think it was for Yahoo.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 I didn't even see that one, but I knew he did something I thought for Yahoo.

Speaker 2 Also, Kanye's wife, girlfriend, wife.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Her family. Lovely person.

Speaker 2 Lovely gal, as my mom would say. Lovely gal.
Such a lovely. Now,

Speaker 2 she keeps defending herself and her family keeps going, hey,

Speaker 2 I'm not, I'm here by my own free will. I'm not like kidnapping a husband.
And then I want to say to her, maybe don't say that yet.

Speaker 1 Let's see how

Speaker 2 things go because you're not even going to get a job at Lady Foot Locker after this. I mean, it's very hard when this is all on your resume to go, oh.

Speaker 2 You should have that in your back pocket. He made me do all that.
I'm the greatest person in the world.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't be any part of that because he's saying things causing disruptions where you want to go,

Speaker 1 maybe

Speaker 2 I was brainwashed. Let me, let's just say that because it gets you out of it.
It's your one free pass.

Speaker 1 Right. That

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 That relationship, you know, my blink is not really equal. It looks like one person in the relationship is more dominant than the other.
I'll leave the listeners to viewers to figure out which one.

Speaker 2 Cupid really got those two, I have to say.

Speaker 1 It's a click-friendly world. If you really,

Speaker 1 I just thought,

Speaker 1 yeah, two kids in love. Two kids in love.
Let's leave it.

Speaker 2 It's a story you've seen a million times, those two.

Speaker 1 I just would like to.

Speaker 2 It's a Hallmark movie.

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 1 Look, I can say they're an adorable couple, and no one can say they're not. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you remember the song, Frankie Valley, 1983?

Speaker 1 No one knows what goes on

Speaker 2 behind closed doors. Charlie Rich, I think.

Speaker 1 Or Charlie Rich, right? I don't know where I put a bookmark guy in there. When we're kid, behind closed doors.
It's a little cryptic, isn't it? I mean, that would be good for like the

Speaker 1 serial killer. No one knows what goes on.

Speaker 1 Behind closed doors.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so maybe they're just a cute, they're playing Scrabble every night. I don't know.
Maybe it's all an act. It's gotta be partially an act.

Speaker 1 Hey, would you like some cocoa? Sure, babe. Do you mind putting on this see-through thong? While you might be on the bottom of the box, it's on Tubi.
Beep up.

Speaker 1 I wish I was at a Kansas City Chiefs super party. I mean, everyone's got jerseys on, Mahomes,

Speaker 1 they've got beers flowing.

Speaker 1 We got this. Whoa, fucking Chiefs.
34-zip.

Speaker 2 They said there's an party for 11,000 people, and I saw today a DJ was like,

Speaker 2 might as well be going,

Speaker 1 people look

Speaker 1 at the magic marker. They had a Mahone's jersey on and just crossed it off.
I mean, such fair weather fans. Jesus.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't have any big hot takes in the Super Bowl. I didn't even see all the commercials because you want to talk during the commercial.
And then you're like, when do I talk during the Super Bowl?

Speaker 2 I want to watch the game. I'm not allowed to talk during the commercials.
I'm not allowed to talk to them.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, it's a real

Speaker 2 you, it's a real,

Speaker 1 it was

Speaker 1 conundrum, mind-boggling. Glad, happy for the Eagles.
Their defensive line is extraordinary. Jalen Hurts has always been underrated.
I'll do some X and O's here. Yeah, I gave us an X.

Speaker 1 Our producer said before we came on, you know,

Speaker 1 Jason

Speaker 1 Kelsey. Is it sorry? Travis.
Travis.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. Do you have his shimmery shirt?

Speaker 1 No. Pull it up if you see it.

Speaker 2 It was, it's, it's the classic situation you don't want. He's dolled up to go into the party, which is the Super Bowl, which used to be the guys were just like, hey, we come in sweats.

Speaker 2 We get ready for the end. Now it's a full New York fashion week.
They walk in. They all have purses.
They all have, you know, hats.

Speaker 1 I know. Yellow mustard socks with little copper shoes.
Exactly. Lots of buttons and little collars.

Speaker 2 They walk in like Mary Poppins and then they go, okay, Cam Newton was good. This good-looking dude has

Speaker 2 fine. It makes people think when you don't win, you put too much time into that.

Speaker 2 Because afterwards, poor Kelsey walking out with this shimmery shirt and shooting one's like, I mean, he looks super cool.

Speaker 1 That

Speaker 1 Clark on the bench, Clark Gable Harry had a little coming down. No, he's a fucking stuck.

Speaker 1 But then they didn't publicize it. We went over and sat next to Taylor.

Speaker 2 And he goes, hey, stands during the game.

Speaker 1 And after the game, when they lost, and she scooched over. She actually moved over.

Speaker 2 I mean, does she pick outfits? Because I don't know. I couldn't pick all this shit.

Speaker 1 I think that guy could retire from football and become another

Speaker 1 action hero.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 2 This guy's life was already all green lights.

Speaker 2 There was no bumps. He's great looking.
He's tall. That's all anyone cares about.
And he's a football player and he's rich.

Speaker 1 So there's just.

Speaker 1 And actually, he's

Speaker 2 the retired.

Speaker 1 He's pretty funny and charismatic. He's good in commercials.
Jason,

Speaker 1 Kelsey, he retires.

Speaker 2 He was the one on here.

Speaker 1 Last year, and they win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then he retires, but he has to go root for the Eagles and against his brother, sort of, right?

Speaker 1 Sort of. But I mean, he would have got a ring.

Speaker 1 Missed it by 12 months. But that guy.

Speaker 2 But got 34 commercials out of it, so he's doing all right.

Speaker 1 Those Kelsey brothers, they're an ecosystem now, and

Speaker 1 his wife. And I mean, it's just they're everywhere all at once.
Like, I thought the mom had a cooking show.

Speaker 2 Was that just a rumor we started?

Speaker 1 No, the mom has a cooking show. The entire extended family, it's really cool to see an empire built from the ground up.

Speaker 2 They're the new Kardashians.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 3 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd.

Speaker 4 Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 3 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 5 What's up? It's Draymond Green. I'm back for my 14th NBA season, and my podcast, The Draymond Green Show, is back too.

Speaker 5 This season, I'm breaking down games, reacting to the biggest NBA stories, and sitting down with teammates, rivals, and culture shapers. And trust me, I'm not holding back on the court or on the mic.

Speaker 5 Two new episodes every week. New segments, big conversations, real basketball talk for the real hoop heads.
Listen to and follow the Draymond Green Show wherever you get your podcast. We're back.

Speaker 5 We're better. Let's get it.

Speaker 2 Listen, Dana, if you're like me, you're like me a little bit.

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 2 Adulthood did hit me hard. And you can't run four hours of sleep in cheeseburgers forever.
Nope.

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Speaker 2 We always joke about artists. My brother's into art.

Speaker 1 My brother's. The banana was bad enough.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Italian artist sells invisible sculpture for $18,000. Now,

Speaker 2 it's getting too... It's getting too much.

Speaker 1 It's too much.

Speaker 1 Well, or not enough. I don't know.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's one way to look at it.

Speaker 1 I think I told this story, but I dropped shrooms in the early 80s and went to the LA County Art Museum, my friends and I.

Speaker 1 And it was like a cam, just a 40-foot white canvas with one red dot in the middle. And we

Speaker 1 had to go out in the stairwell. We laughed so hard.
We couldn't even.

Speaker 2 I mean, this stuff is, this is a 18,000. Where do you feel like I'm not paying 20 for invisible nothing?

Speaker 2 20 is my top. That's my ceiling.

Speaker 1 Well, here's our experiment. We're going to book you at a big theater.
You know, you tend to sell tickets. Big theater with the mic there.

Speaker 1 Ladies and gentlemen, David Spade is going to stay backstage for an hour. Enjoy the show.

Speaker 2 We can call it not David Spade. And then it's just a mic stand and not me.
Mike stand for an hour. Triple the ticket price.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because it is better to not hear me talk in all honesty.

Speaker 1 Well, it's just fake fake art.

Speaker 2 Uh-oh, this is this, this just in. Okay, here's Travis Levy.

Speaker 1 Oh, here we go.

Speaker 2 Look, no one's around.

Speaker 2 He's like, God, why didn't I just bring a flannel shirt? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I get it. It's just life, you know, the high and the low, you know, just.

Speaker 2 But the biggest game, and that's the must be the hardest thing, no matter how good things are going. To take, it's like gambling in Vegas.
It's fun to win, but losing makes you feel so much worse.

Speaker 2 It's so it's lower than the high is.

Speaker 1 And I liked what Tom Brady said, and I thought he did a great job announcing. So I like that his announcing.
He's very, very bright. But at the end, he said he was in 10 Super Bowls.

Speaker 1 He doesn't remember the seven that he won. And there's still Super Bowl.
I don't know which one or all three that he lost. He still isn't over it.

Speaker 1 Nightmears thinks about it.

Speaker 2 It's you at the Paul McCartney interview.

Speaker 1 Amen.

Speaker 1 Look, you don't have that kind of brain. You're like, pretty good.
And I just cry myself to sleep after that.

Speaker 1 No. Why did I interrupt? Why am I interrupting now? Why won't I shut up? Why did I have coffee before I came on this show, the David Spade show?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 2 Because I made fun of that Paul McCartney. You always say that.

Speaker 1 No, no, and I'm kidding too. Kidding.

Speaker 2 Tom Brady had a big goofy watch on. And I have to say, love Tom Brady.
He looks very thin, but the guy cannot look bad. Bless his heart.
Just like Travis cannot take a bad picture.

Speaker 2 But he had this,

Speaker 2 I'm not going to say goofy watch, not my taste, super blingy.

Speaker 2 And then it was like orange. Yeah.
And that feels like not his style.

Speaker 2 Look at how huge and orange and diamonds.

Speaker 2 I mean, he's so effing rich. Like, we got it.
I like that Daytona to the right or whatever that one is called.

Speaker 2 just the rolex i just don't like anything super showy

Speaker 2 and uh that looks like a swatch

Speaker 2 is it possible it was 750 000 that's what i read when i went over the morning's newspapers every time i read it it's higher but that doesn't even shock me if he's if he's worth 200 million it doesn't blow me away that it's that much

Speaker 1 Is it okay to say that maybe I'm a Buddhist monk in a previous Buddhist monk life? I don't really like or want things. I stole this jacket, as you know.
This is a gap t-shirt.

Speaker 1 I stole this jacket.

Speaker 1 I stole it. I have a $10 Casio watch.
It's in the drawer. Listen, not about materials.
I don't.

Speaker 1 Everything you own owns you back. Newsflash, David.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I have a lot of quarter zips. You know what that means?

Speaker 1 I see it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I'm not embarrassed. Okay.

Speaker 1 You're afforded a fully. You're in a closet's the size of a Macy's department store.

Speaker 2 You know, I know some famous person, and I won't tell you who, it was a famous couple,

Speaker 2 and their house is so big they had a party and went in the closet. And then they said, oh, and here's how they get their clothes.
Button,

Speaker 2 like the laundromat.

Speaker 1 Like a laundromat? Oh. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like when you get your dry cleaning. It goes up around.

Speaker 2 All their clothes come down. They take it off the hook.
They're all numbered.

Speaker 2 Crazy. I was like, you're so rich.
If I had your money, I'd throw mine away. This is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 Do they wrap it in plastic and say, we can't find. Come back later.

Speaker 2 We can't get stain out.

Speaker 1 You need to have a ticket.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. We can't get too much heat on it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It melt.

Speaker 1 You need a ticket.

Speaker 2 So that was them being rich. All right, next story.

Speaker 1 Look, we're really moving. I know.

Speaker 2 Why do we need to move? I don't know. By the way, I'll tell everyone before I get to the sickening fucking story.
I was on Buzz Boys all day.

Speaker 2 Nate Diaz was late today. So that's what bumped us back.

Speaker 2 And what do you say to these UFC guys? He's the most badass guy. And I'm like texting Theo in his trailer going, Theo, you better rip him a new fucking asshole when he walks in.
You're a producer.

Speaker 2 Put on your producer hat and go to town.

Speaker 2 Just teach him a lesson in front of everyone. Read him the Riot Act.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 he did not.

Speaker 2 Neither did I.

Speaker 2 But then Nate had to push me around in this scene.

Speaker 2 And he kept elbowing me. And I'm like, huh?

Speaker 1 Your hand okay?

Speaker 2 You ever hit anybody this hard? Can't hurt Steel. I kept saying stuff like that.
And he's just like,

Speaker 2 because obviously I'm a 1,000% pussy, but I was just...

Speaker 1 Well, wait a minute. So you were on Bus Boys today.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And you were.
You got down here. Just got wrapped, right?

Speaker 1 And you got manhandled.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 By a UFC

Speaker 2 Diaz, yeah. Nate Diaz.

Speaker 2 Who's a super badass? Very nice dude. He was on yesterday, too.
Absolutely. Bobby Lee was in yesterday.
We had a crack up yesterday. We had a lot of people in there.
It was pretty fun.

Speaker 1 God, this thing, I'm smelling a hit. It's fun.
I don't want to jinx it.

Speaker 2 You're going to laugh. I'm going to show you some clips next time I see you.

Speaker 1 Let's show the audio clips. No.

Speaker 2 Well, let's talk about it's raining spiders. This is my on maybe worst nightmare.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Spiders are falling from the sky in Brazil. Spiderocalypse.
Everything's apocalypse.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 Everything's Mageddon. Spider Gedden, Mageddon.
Apocalypse.

Speaker 2 Is it not like shocking? Oh, then now they show it. Look.

Speaker 1 Oh, sick. Oh, wow.
Sick.

Speaker 2 Dana, what would you do?

Speaker 1 I would look.

Speaker 2 I would protect you.

Speaker 1 I'd take out my phone.

Speaker 2 I would take out.

Speaker 2 I would just shoot my shotgun straight up.

Speaker 1 They're riding the jet streamers. Spiders can't really fly.
I think they have

Speaker 2 all these,

Speaker 2 all these, what you call webs, you know, so they fall across all these trees and they get on them all. And then they're just, you look above and then they like all just drop or something.

Speaker 1 But they jump and they're, they're going to hit the ground eventually. They can't fly.
They can't gain altitude. Well,

Speaker 2 you're kind of ruining the story, but yeah.

Speaker 1 well you know they're they're called uh

Speaker 2 spy birds and they're half bird half spider here's my next story spiders are driving all over brazil and hitting people their cars you're like they can't drive they can land on your car they can crawl on it

Speaker 1 while these spiders are i don't even care if they're poisonous i can't take it it's too scary I don't like anything coming from the sky at me and mass spiders, ants,

Speaker 1 comedians who just did an open mic just flying through the sky, hundreds of them.

Speaker 2 Do my podcast.

Speaker 1 Oh, you gotta hear my Super Bowl chunk.

Speaker 1 Look at my YouTube clip.

Speaker 1 I can do crowd work too. I say, where are you from? Then I tear them apart.

Speaker 2 I don't know what I'm gonna say, but I kind of do.

Speaker 1 I pretend that something I've said a thousand times is fresh. Don't hate me for it.

Speaker 2 I say, Are you on a date? I already know what I'm going to say, no matter what their answer is.

Speaker 1 I'm going to

Speaker 1 reinsert the premise so people understand what we're doing.

Speaker 1 Spiders were flying in the sky. Now we're saying comedians from open mics are flying toward the ground.

Speaker 2 Touring toward you in the parking lot.

Speaker 1 Hey, the green room. Two nuts walk into a bar.
I don't give a fuck. That's my best bit.

Speaker 2 Can you get me six tickets to SNL?

Speaker 1 I don't know why I'm talking like this just because they're not even for me.

Speaker 2 They're for my friends.

Speaker 1 Is this on?

Speaker 1 Is this on? Hey.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 Hey, do you mind if we flip-flop? I got another spot at the laugh act.

Speaker 1 Cut to our clip editor.

Speaker 2 He just quit.

Speaker 2 Okay, next story. You heard about Nate Diaz, you heard about spiders.

Speaker 1 And now.

Speaker 1 Oh, this is.

Speaker 2 Okay. Just play it.
There's a guy narrating, but I just want to play it because, you know, things get stuck in the sewer. Is it a baby?

Speaker 2 Is it a deer?

Speaker 2 Is it a person, Heather? Okay,

Speaker 1 chainsaw or bolt. Okay, bolt.

Speaker 2 Heather, you're cheating.

Speaker 1 I know you're cheating. I know

Speaker 1 one of my choices.

Speaker 1 What is it? Is it a bird? Dog.

Speaker 1 Cat.

Speaker 2 No, it's a rat.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Look at that they're freaking

Speaker 2 what the freak is that that's a New York rat.

Speaker 1 That's a rat, a 20-pound rat.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 This is the most nauseous I've been on this.

Speaker 2 The most nauseous.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Here you can turn that guy down.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 wow.

Speaker 1 Remember that

Speaker 2 song, Ben? There's a movie about a huge rat.

Speaker 1 Well, what is a guinea pig or what's the thing that looks like a rat?

Speaker 2 Chupacabra?

Speaker 1 Oh, one time, my house in Encino, and there's this noise outside. I opened the door, and I thought I sound like I thought I saw a 40-pound rat.

Speaker 1 And I think it was some other thing that looks like a rat.

Speaker 2 You know, I'm all for like rat traps.

Speaker 1 And I'm

Speaker 2 but if you have to wrestle a rat, that's that's too big.

Speaker 2 You can't wrestle them.

Speaker 1 If you can saddle up a rat, that's too big a rat. If you can saddle it up and ride it around a county fair.

Speaker 2 If your rat

Speaker 2 has a saddle,

Speaker 2 it might be too big to be a rat.

Speaker 1 If a camel looks at your rat and goes, whoa, that's a big one,

Speaker 1 you might have a large rat on your hands.

Speaker 2 If your rat is so big it has an iPhone.

Speaker 2 You might be with a rat that's too big.

Speaker 1 If your rat is so big that it demands you pay your rent on the first of the month, that's too big a rat.

Speaker 2 If you're driving with a rat in your car and you can legally use the carpool lane, it's too big.

Speaker 1 If you're you see a creature and its little paws go up and I go, I know I'm too large for my species. That must be a big rat.

Speaker 2 If a rat can beat beat you in arm wrestling,

Speaker 1 if you play Scrabble with an entity that looks like a rat that spells out rat hole and gets offended by its own word score, that's what it wrote in Scrabble, rat hole, and it was mad at its own word score, but that's a triple score.

Speaker 1 Scrabble

Speaker 1 your new nickname.

Speaker 2 That'll get me out of it. I'm looking for names for my tour, but I'm almost there.

Speaker 1 I have one. Didn't I have one? Did you have a good one? For the tour?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we can't call it pip squeak life. We're not doing that.
Oh, if that's your idea. Nope.

Speaker 1 Uh, humans are fantastic.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 2 Tom Segor has a good one. It's called It's a World Tour.
It says, I'm Coming All Over.

Speaker 1 But that was Howard Stern's book, right? Coming all over to you. Didn't Howard

Speaker 1 Sperm do that?

Speaker 1 Look it up, Heather or Greg. Howard Stern book.

Speaker 2 I think his is called Miss

Speaker 2 New Yorkers. Miss America was one of them, maybe.

Speaker 1 Well, I thought of a couple.

Speaker 1 Howard Stern comes again. Howard Stern.
Howard Stern comes again? So David Spade comes again.

Speaker 2 No, I think comes all over is better for a world tour. I'm wearing a hat now.
Fuck it. Fuck off.
I can't take it. I can't take it because my forehead is so blind with this light.

Speaker 1 I have to look at it.

Speaker 2 I look at you on this side of the Zoom. And so people are like, look straight in the camera.
I'm like, I wish we could flip-flop it where you're on the, you know what?

Speaker 2 I'm going to put the camera over here next time.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 2 this is after five million shows. I think it's me looking at

Speaker 1 the camera.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Instead, here's me looking at the camera.
Here's me looking at Dano.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you something that's very charismatic. I saw a guy do it.
You know, these people who listen to music and then listen to it and tell you if they like it or not?

Speaker 2 Like their first song.

Speaker 1 They listed for the first time. British guy.
He's a totally.

Speaker 1 He's putting on day in the life and he's looking over here like he's listening. I'm looking to the right.
Yeah. And then he would do this.
He would go,

Speaker 1 you know, he's looking, you see what I'm doing?

Speaker 2 What is he looking at?

Speaker 1 Well, he's looking at something.

Speaker 1 He's a strong countdown. He's looking like this.
And then he would share it with us.

Speaker 2 Like, I read the news.

Speaker 1 And he would go back. And like, oh.

Speaker 2 And I thought, man, like, he likes that part.

Speaker 1 It was charismatic. Do it for me so I can see it.
Okay. Look away and then look right at the camera.

Speaker 2 I heard the news today.

Speaker 1 Oh boy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, that's

Speaker 1 the lucky man who made the grave.

Speaker 1 Heather has seen it.

Speaker 2 She's laughing.

Speaker 2 By the way, it's the easiest thing in the world. You have a cook watching a guy cook and he goes, okay, he's putting the pan down.

Speaker 2 Well, okay, this guy's doing this.

Speaker 1 A lot of them.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't do that.

Speaker 1 They're playing I'm a Walrus and like, I like that song. You know, I'd never heard it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they show, they play rap for people, they play great songs from history, and you get to hear, they have a music coach. I don't mind those.

Speaker 1 There's there are a lot of Beatle

Speaker 1 easy people listening to the Beatles for the first time. Oh, yeah.
And then they're like, I got to say, man, these Beatles are wild.

Speaker 2 We were talking on O'Darlin the other day, and O'Darlin,

Speaker 2 they said, Paul,

Speaker 2 someone saw Paul before the show and said, Do you do O'Darlin? And he said,

Speaker 2 It's probably the hardest one on my voice. I'm thinking, wow, we should have asked him that if it's true.

Speaker 1 We,

Speaker 1 but why?

Speaker 2 Is it when he goes, I'll never make

Speaker 1 it alone. He wrote it.
Lennon thought he could have sang it better because Lennon had that

Speaker 1 Paul recorded it like five times.

Speaker 2 They'd already had it on his own and brought it in. And then I already did it.

Speaker 1 On the last time, he came in and shredded his voice like he's never done before or since. So that is his

Speaker 2 when when I tell you who goes hi

Speaker 1 I can't do it. Oh

Speaker 1 Don and please

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 so that was I know how would you decide

Speaker 2 one we should ask him next time he'll never do it again. Let's ask him who decides who sings what did we ask him

Speaker 1 no I mean

Speaker 1 Usually the songwriter sings it.

Speaker 1 And if there's it's a co-written song early in the days like you go they do day tripper got a good reason and then john will go taking the easy way out yeah that's got a good reason yeah classic back taking the easy way out yeah so you look i forgot about day tripper no there's too many songs it's unreal i'm with you it's unreal they too much too much genius itis it's a it's i was hung up on i'm looking through you

Speaker 2 i was gonna ask him that's the only sound song where he sounds like he's talking, condescending to someone. You remember? It's the only time he's kind of talking about.

Speaker 1 It's always about Jane Aster, I think, or a girlfriend. I'm looking through you.
Where have you been?

Speaker 1 It's Cho Chopper.

Speaker 2 He grew up, or like he says,

Speaker 2 she was too good for him. And now look at me, how I'm doing.
Something like that. I'm looking through you.

Speaker 1 And you don't know where.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Paul is just.

Speaker 2 If you listen to the song,

Speaker 1 it's hard to ask Paul McCarthy, even now, even if he was on right now.

Speaker 1 If we see him at SNL, what are we going to say? Yeah, ask him a question that he hasn't been asked.

Speaker 1 But I do, the only reason I had podcast regret, which I've said before, is I realize when you interview anyone,

Speaker 1 not even Paul McCartney, they cannot toot their own horn or pound their chest. But if you introduce

Speaker 1 something that's brilliant, then they can talk about it. So yeah.

Speaker 2 All right, moving on. What's the next one?

Speaker 1 We're educating today.

Speaker 2 No, we are. Oh, this is Mexican Squid Games.
Would you do this game, Dana?

Speaker 2 It's a, yeah. Okay, it's a bull ring.
People are lined up.

Speaker 2 I think the trick is when it, when it gets you, lay down flatter and it runs over you.

Speaker 2 This is a real contest. It's got lawsuit written all over it.

Speaker 1 Is it safe?

Speaker 1 Is it safe? No.

Speaker 1 Well, why aren't they getting killed every day?

Speaker 2 Because if they get to the other side, they get like a hundred bucks or something. Oh, it says winning team gets 24 cans of Coke.

Speaker 2 You can turn it down.

Speaker 2 But it's the squid game's music.

Speaker 1 So they all crawl like the centipede. They're all flat in an arena, and a bull is running over the top of them, but they're not all getting killed.

Speaker 2 They're in an arena trying to cross the other side of the arena. The bull is just fucking loose, which would never happen in America because it's too

Speaker 2 litigious. So this bull

Speaker 2 goes around and just starts wailing on people and they go flat when it comes by. That's their trick.
It does not always work. It's not a perfect science.

Speaker 1 And they

Speaker 2 think we watched it too short because I think someone gets bumped.

Speaker 1 I'll just say this. The non-regulated society is interesting.
I was doing a gig in Acapulco.

Speaker 1 And I was out on my veranda looking down on the beach. And I see like a maybe five, six-year-old walking up to a guy, talking, talking, talking.

Speaker 1 He buys some cigarettes, likes the cigarette. The guy gives him a boost.
He's

Speaker 1 bareback on a stallion, a horse, five years of age, smoking a cigarette, just going down the beach. I'm like, what the? It can be cool.
This is the safety helmet.

Speaker 2 Well, the old days, you know, we didn't wear helmets for sure on our bikes.

Speaker 1 Nope, I'm sure I had a few concussions.

Speaker 2 I could do a wheelie for a quarter mile. I don't like to talk about that.
I know Paul McCarney doesn't beat his own helmet.

Speaker 1 That means you did something something to the chain. If you're popping your stingray and it's really loose.

Speaker 1 You just did it with a store-bought Sears Bronco.

Speaker 2 Just with pure carry underwood quad muscles that I have. And I was just like,

Speaker 2 once I got up, I could balance it and be like, oh my God, oh my God. I kept going.
I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Everyone was... freaking out at me.

Speaker 1 Did anyone witness this or is this a figment of

Speaker 2 knowing your

Speaker 1 spatomation?

Speaker 1 You probably went five feet.

Speaker 2 Let's be honest. This is another one of my little fibs, but I think I did do that.

Speaker 1 I would skateboard.

Speaker 2 No footage to cut to.

Speaker 1 You could skateboard, you said? And I would go down a hill, the long, long hill, zigzag down. I wouldn't do it now.

Speaker 1 I was, well, look, I mean, a steep, long hill without on a, on a board with no helmet or safe.

Speaker 2 It's called a Guinness book.

Speaker 2 You know what's funny about the Guinness Book World Records? It's now the Guinness website or something. I mean,

Speaker 2 book sounded better.

Speaker 1 Would you, if you tried to qualify for something of the world's world.

Speaker 1 I thought of this the other day.

Speaker 2 What would you do? I thought of this the other day. Because it was like, it was, I swear I saw something odd.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's today, but I saw something odd: like, guy gets bitten the nuts by a Cobra 60 times in an hour. And I was like, that's a Guinness world.
This cannot be a world record.

Speaker 2 This cannot be anything that anyone's trying to do. But if you pick a weird one,

Speaker 2 you can win.

Speaker 1 Well, what did

Speaker 1 Mr. Beast, didn't he at one point, just repeat someone's name for 24 hours? I don't know.
I mean, Kelsey Grammar, Kelsey Grammar, Kelsey Grammar.

Speaker 2 He's rich enough.

Speaker 1 Maybe you should do that. Kind of a genius.
Could we get him on here and just have a genius? You should get Mr.

Speaker 2 Beast on anyway. Let's try to.
Well, I'm going to ask my guy tomorrow because one of my buddies knows him. Let's try to.
There's a couple people I wanted to get on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll pair him with a beastie boy, you know, just because the symmetry of that. That's kind of funny, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right. Next one.

Speaker 2 What is she? This is a podcast. A girl's about to say something I don't know what.
Okay.

Speaker 6 So I came across this really insane Elvis Presley theory. I'm going to kind of break it all down.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let's just hear it.

Speaker 6 In 1977.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 6 Never wanted to release the public evidence of his death.

Speaker 1 So basically, all the details.

Speaker 6 We got speculation. We thought maybe it was too many drugs.

Speaker 1 We thought maybe he was being overworked. So his family

Speaker 6 in the year of 2027 will release those.

Speaker 6 2027? 2027.

Speaker 1 Good reaction.

Speaker 6 50 years after.

Speaker 1 I liked her reaction. Whoa.
This is where it's. That's a good one, too.
There's a man named Jesse Guerin, and he claims that he is Elvis Presley.

Speaker 6 He's been claiming he's Elvis Presley for quite some time now.

Speaker 1 There's a few of these on my

Speaker 2 stream.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 6 so there's a doctor that worked in this hospital.

Speaker 1 Not good, yeah.

Speaker 6 Jesse. And during his time there, he was like, I just feel this weird, skeptical, gut feeling about this guy, Jesse, who's claiming that he's Elvis.

Speaker 1 So let's do a DNA test and let's see what we find. Guess what they found?

Speaker 6 What? Jesse's DNA was the exact match of Elvis's DNA. What? Same DNA.
Okay. Jesse's DNA matches.
The doctor's like, this is really weird.

Speaker 1 Let's do something further. How true is this? Elvis is here.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 There's a book that says a match with Jesse's.

Speaker 6 What do you know? It's a match. So this mental patient, mental institute patient, yes, this is really

Speaker 6 Elvis's parents. Okay.

Speaker 1 So obviously people are thinking maybe this is his brother elvis was born as a twin but

Speaker 1 anyone can hold a phone up to go

Speaker 1 if i came across it

Speaker 1 that's it what happened what happened he had a twin brother they showed proof they showed a book

Speaker 1 i used to do this bit and i'll just do a little bit of it flight of fancy sound like you believe it

Speaker 1 I just had a flight of fancy of people who passed that are in a bunker beneath Las Vegas, and it would be Bobby and Jack Kennedy, Elvis, and Hitler.

Speaker 1 And they're all in there, and they faked their death, and they're going to take over the world. So they're just hanging out for decades in there.

Speaker 1 Elvis, would you tell Adolph to stop staring at me? Come on, Elvis. I mean, come on, Hitler.
I'm Elvis.

Speaker 1 You know, Bobby don't like it when you stare at him.

Speaker 1 Okay. I believe that Adolf Hitler doesn't know what he's doing.
I don't know what he's saying.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm the movie executive.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Could one of them not be Hitler? But this is the exact same situation. Maybe you could be Meryl Monroe or something.

Speaker 1 This is my pitch right back. The funny part is: I'm going to put on a dress and go on the shaft over.
You want to come with me, Jack? Yes, I will go with you. They're in Las Vegas in a bunker.

Speaker 1 I will stay here and teach

Speaker 1 Adolph English. Adolph, repeat after me.
C, shaust, spot, run,

Speaker 1 run, fight.

Speaker 1 Oh, look, Bobby, he doesn't have one word of English in there. He just, it's just gibberish.
No, he can do better. Adolf, repeat after me.
See,

Speaker 1 spot.

Speaker 1 So, what do you think? Do I got a movie deal?

Speaker 2 Well, I don't get that one. Once he can't talk at all, he just makes noises.

Speaker 1 Well, because then, well, I'm rushing it. It's a 20-minute bit for my

Speaker 1 Elvis is like, you know, Bobby, we've been in your faked our deathbed in here 40 years.

Speaker 1 He doesn't understand hiding or tailor English. Oh, yeah, Elvis, you're wrong.
He does. Oh, watch this.

Speaker 1 A bird flew into a cave. Repeat after me, Adolph.
A bird,

Speaker 1 flew into a cave.

Speaker 1 Come on, Bobby. He's not speaking a word.
I believe that Bobby is making progress. I don't think he's doing it because he's easy.
He does it because he's hard.

Speaker 2 All right, I'm in. Okay, we'll take it.

Speaker 1 Try to suppress yourself.

Speaker 2 We'll shoot in Vegas.

Speaker 1 I will do a longer bit last time next time. I like it.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's Jaffe Elevator, and it goes on and on.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right, next one.

Speaker 1 We'll come back to it.

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Speaker 2 Okay, look at this story. Okay, don't read the comments.
Just listen to the story. So a guy's pitching to his kid, an older guy.

Speaker 1 Okay. The dad throwing his son some wholesome VP went viral this week.

Speaker 1 And this 17U travel ball team Twitter account felt the need to chime in with some constructive criticism, which provoked Ryan Murphy to ask the question, you for real? Which is a great question, Ryan.

Speaker 1 The Evansville baseball program apparently had time that day, and they doubled down. A thoughtful critique for youth baseball players, maybe.

Speaker 1 The only issue is that the guy in the video is is Mike Trout.

Speaker 1 Who saw that one coming? I love a good twist ending. Trout himself even got in on the fun, throwing a few emojis on the thread.
I'd love

Speaker 1 to see Mike Trout's most used emojis are.

Speaker 2 So the dad's throwing his Mike Trout pitches and a guy sees the video and goes, I'm a local

Speaker 2 high school coach and I'll show you what's wrong with this kid's swing.

Speaker 2 And then he wrote it out on Twitter and they wrote back, we're all good over here. And he goes, listen, I'm just giving you some friendly advice.
The guy needs to lean back a little more.

Speaker 2 This guy's going to be a

Speaker 2 big hitter. And they go, it's Mike Trout.

Speaker 1 And he goes,

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 2 Mike Trout's one of the biggest stars in the

Speaker 1 history of

Speaker 1 football.

Speaker 2 Listen, it goes too fast.

Speaker 1 That was too fast.

Speaker 2 These are fucking bombing. This could be our comeback bit.
I don't think it will be. It might be easier to understand.
This is just,

Speaker 2 there's a mannequin challenge now. You try to act like you don't move.
You know, you don't bend.

Speaker 1 We can do it. So you try to look like a movie.
We're going to be a mannequin.

Speaker 2 Okay, next time we're at Chili's.

Speaker 1 That's kind of good, right?

Speaker 1 Not too bad.

Speaker 2 That shirt is the one Farley wore in at the beginning of Tommy Boy.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that looks like it. Okay.

Speaker 1 These are human beings with entirely too much time on their hands.

Speaker 2 What else is on tip?

Speaker 1 They've been at the party.

Speaker 1 How about we pretend we're mannequins? I love you, Charlie.

Speaker 2 It's like girls going, get ready with me. And they put on makeup and tell a 90-minute story.

Speaker 2 And you're like, I feel like you're getting ready for not going out. I feel like this was to get ready to do this.

Speaker 2 And then you didn't really go anywhere at the end.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 2 These are, this is a theory.

Speaker 1 It's just

Speaker 1 the clicks and the views. We'll do anything.
Look at us.

Speaker 2 We'll do anything. We're fucking the worst, most desperate idiots out there.
Okay, let's do one more. We got to end on a goddamn highness.

Speaker 2 We got to get back. We got to end.
We got to get back to the set. Let me see if this one's any.
I know they're going to suck. I can just tell.

Speaker 2 Shit. I don't know if we should risk it with this one.
What do you think?

Speaker 1 Does it look funny yet? Harvard University welcomes the 22-year-old Magnus Carlson from Norway, who has broken up.

Speaker 2 And you're going to all say this is fake. Everyone says everything's fake.
Today, Magnus plays blindfolded chess, and not only that. I used to play he gets 10 of the best chess.
He plays 10 people.

Speaker 1 How came

Speaker 1 Magnus must remember the position of 300 in the middle of the

Speaker 1 10 movements while calculating 10 moves and counter moves.

Speaker 2 If it's fake, he has a lot of extras. At least he puts some work in it.

Speaker 2 Knight to bishop's pawn.

Speaker 1 Well, how does he know? Rook,

Speaker 2 they tell him what they're moving.

Speaker 2 And he fucking smokes him away.

Speaker 1 And And he remembers 10 more.

Speaker 2 I think he's, you know.

Speaker 2 He's not doing any fucking celebration dances.

Speaker 2 What is that handkerchief made of?

Speaker 1 One of the best

Speaker 1 players in the world?

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 even if they're just ten that are shitty, I'm impressed.

Speaker 2 Look at them.

Speaker 2 I don't care.

Speaker 2 And then he writes it all down.

Speaker 1 Someone else gets an autograph. I'll get the whole match.
Wow.

Speaker 2 He goes, hey, let me sign this for you. Let me write out

Speaker 1 everyone.

Speaker 2 Let me write down every move I made today. He's like, Rook to pawn for

Speaker 2 Bishop 2.

Speaker 1 Well, his latest one was that he has a guitar and

Speaker 1 he's playing Blackbird continually over and over again. And they put a bowl on his head and a blindfolder around it.
And

Speaker 1 he's 10 miles away. He beat 50 guys.

Speaker 2 And they keep hitting it with a wooden spoon all the time.

Speaker 1 The bowl. Hitting the bowl.
And then he hangs.

Speaker 1 Night the palm.

Speaker 2 He sees these girls that are having sex with 100 guys at a cliff, and he's like, I have to do something like that. But chess-wise,

Speaker 2 I'll play 10 dudes and smoke them. So he did a good job.

Speaker 2 I think we end on that.

Speaker 1 That was uplifting.

Speaker 2 That was like a six, but it showed there's some smart people out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2 And I got to drop in that I played chess. Okay.

Speaker 2 Dana, thanks for coming. If you could stick around during the commercial, I want to talk about some other stuff.

Speaker 1 Yes. Remember, Bus Boys.

Speaker 2 Bus Boys coming in.

Speaker 1 February 2028.

Speaker 1 February 28.

Speaker 2 We'll be in post for the next six years. No, we're going to whip it out.
We only got a week left, dude.

Speaker 1 We got a week and a half. That's it.
David Spade whips it out.

Speaker 1 That's your tour.

Speaker 2 This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.

Speaker 1 Hope you liked it.