Liverpool thrash Spurs, Villa stun City and Forest go fourth – Football Weekly

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Hello, and welcome to the Guardian Football Weekly.

Are you not entertained?

Probably not entirely if you're a Spurs fan.

Another silly game at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium as Liverpool hammered stubborn old Ange.

It was 6-3.

Hard to work out what it could or should have been.

But any time, it looked like Spurs were in with an unlikely sniff.

Liverpool just scored another goal.

They were brilliant.

Man City losing wasn't even first on match of the day on Saturday night.

It's not even a story anymore.

Comprehensively outplayed by Aston Villa, a Yuri Tieleman's masterclass.

Were there booze at Old Trafford as Bournemouth won 3-0 there for the second season running?

While Gabriel Jesus has clearly stolen Timo Werner's buckets, as Arsenal comfortably see off Palace.

Elsewhere, a hat trick for Alexander Isak, who still had time to retain his world heavyweight boxing crown that evening.

Forrester fourth, a nice start for Vitor Pereira at Wolves, and another goalless draw for Everton against Chelsea and a clean sheep for Aaron Ramsdale in his big gloves.

All that plus sheep, searing but understandable criticism of our strike, the excitement of being a multiple choice answer, your questions, and that's today's Guardian Football Weekly.

On the panel today, Barney Ronne, welcome.

Happy Christmas.

Happy Christmas, everyone.

Good.

I thought I might get a ho, ho, ho.

But, you know, you know, know, that's what dreams.

Maybe by the end.

Seb Hutchinson, hello.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

That's very kind of you.

And Sani Ridrabagulo, welcome.

Yeah, hello.

Merry Christmas.

Let's start at the Tom Hotspur Stadium.

Then Glenn says, his honor slots, I hope they win a trophy.

The new Guardiola.

So, so good.

And Owen says, most unchaotic 6-3 ever.

Liverpool top of the league.

Four points clear with the game in hand.

Seb, you were at this game.

There were so many goals.

I don't know what that sort of game is like to commentate on.

Presumably, just quite fun.

A lot of fun.

Look, I know we scramble for hot takes, but I'm going to say this is the most fascinated I've been with a start to a Premier League season since 2015, maybe when Leicester started going on a run.

And this match played a part in it.

I think, can you ever remember another Premier League manager approaching or conducting matches in this way?

I mean, the closest I reached was maybe Newcastle under Keegan and maybe later Arsenal under Wenger.

How can you be 5-1 down at home and still pile bodies forward, then have the crowd right behind you as you make it 5-3?

It was such entertainment and I'll be honest, it's what I'm in the business for.

You know, I think usually when a team goes 5-1 up, the game is shut down, then both teams maybe think ahead to the next one.

But Liverpool couldn't do that.

They had to keep playing,

keeping with the mood of the game.

And they were ultimately better at Spurs than it.

So, you know, Alexander Arnold, I think he lost possession 24 times, yet produced decisive moments.

You know, is this not what we want from a football match?

That's what I'll ask all of you.

Is this not what we want?

That's the question.

You sort of scrunched your face up, Barney.

Is that not the football we want?

I mean, yeah.

It was also just kind of

a bit of an abomination, isn't it, really?

I mean,

I don't personally come to football to see happy people gambling around running the ball into the you know I come for something difficult and tortured and hard and and sort of like my migraine where there's occasional moments of relief and I and I trust those moments the weird thing about Spurs is now is there's this strange contrast between the kind of freewheeling sense of devil may care on the pitch.

I mean, you mentioned Kevin Keegan,

and then a manager who seems

incredibly angry and grumpy.

Like, how is this guy producing that?

He should be laughing and saying, Yeah, this is just great, isn't it?

Brilliant.

But somehow, this Australian angry Deich is producing this kind of light, fluffy, aerated football.

I mean, I don't think it's deliberate.

I don't think he wants his team to be like that.

I mean, I know he doesn't.

But um it's i think it's kind of dreadful in many ways even though i like watching it i mean he's it's embarrassing uh some of the stuff that happens in the games and the way the players have been programmed to play this way so they play this way to please the manager and terrible things happen you shouldn't really be conceding six goals at home and i feel sorry for some of those players who are being you know that the real issue with spurs is every year they go out with a squad that should probably finish sixth or seventh at the moment and then they finish sixth or seventh and sack the manager and now they're doing that by playing in a really interesting entertaining way which is better than doing it with Antonio Conte scowling at everyone so that's fine but there is probably a way I feel like Possikogu is kind of half a manager there is probably a way that he could become more I mean more of a manager he'll be really angry to hear someone saying that because how could he possibly criticize someone who obviously has so many flaws in their team seems to be his reasoning but yeah i mean it's exceptionally entertaining but also wrong bad and decadent i suppose barney the question is

and has had

such success you know in australia in japan in scotland in international football by playing like this so is this the limit of doing it i the relentlessness of the premier league up against better coaches but i really want totten to stick it out just to see if see what happens over three years i mean what's happening is you lose 6-3 at home it is a different league Like you have to adapt.

It's unintelligent not to adapt.

And this is a failing.

Obviously it's very different to being the manager of Celtic.

Oh yeah, of course.

you know

it's it doesn't matter how many times you keep saying well i i just make sponge cakes you know that's all i do like sorry it's sponge cake um which i did i haven't actually seen this but jonathan lou told me about it the other day um

but you know like come on come on like

it's not going to end well.

Like, you can do other slightly different things.

You can just, like, look, look what Arnold Slott's done at Liverpool.

He's

worked on a system.

He's tinkered slightly.

He's made improvements.

And they're a really rounded team now.

Tottenham have no control.

They have no chill.

There's no control at all.

Whereas that's what Slots introduced to Liverpool.

Like, he has brought moments where they rest on the ball and where the midfield takes a break and people breathe.

And that variation has improved the team.

So why not do that?

Sally, I mean, Johnny wrote an excoriating piece about Tottenham, saying this is what happens when a serious team take on a non-serious team.

And it is worth saying, okay, Tottenham had a lot of injuries, but Liverpool were, I thought Liverpool were brilliant, especially in midfield in this game.

They were incredible.

Midfield was great.

I mean, Dominic Sabozlai kind of occupied kind of a false nine type of position at times.

And I was quite surprised how good he was in the air, just physically as well.

Like for two of the goals, one with a flick on and the other one, you know, getting in the way of Jed Spence, I think

for the opener, I saw the blur, all the six goals.

And that's the thing.

How much do we really want a pillory,

admittedly, an under-strength Tottenham side playing all over the place versus a Liverpool side that are just brilliant, aren't they?

I mean, is there an argument that Spurs could have beaten a team below that tier, you know, even with that sort of line-up that they fielded, but Liverpool are just that good.

So what I would say is, and I know it got picked up on all the analyses, you know, the goal that Tottenham conceded just before halftime where Jed Spence sprints like 30 yards from fullback to close down the furthest Liverpool man forward.

And then before you know it, Archie Gray, who is, what, 18?

Yeah.

Originally a centre-midfielder.

converts a right back, then playing centre-half.

He's come across and draggershins all over the place.

They let this happen, didn't they?

They let it happen.

As Barney kind of said, you know, come on.

It's the easy answer, isn't it?

And when you allow a side Liverpool to do that, then they're going to absolutely take you to task.

And it was great to watch.

It was great to watch.

And we had a couple of games like that this weekend in amongst the 0-0s.

But yeah, I really loved it.

It's theirs now.

Is that too soon, Seb, for Liverpool?

Because no one else is...

Just consistent enough.

And they're playing so well.

And you could see they knew exactly what to do.

They knew what Tottenham would do and they just, just, I mean, I think 6-3 is so generous to Tottenham in this game.

I think it could have been sort of 10.

I don't know how Tottenham, how many Tottenham gets up arbitrary number of goals.

Yeah, I think in Liverpool's case, yeah, we have to, of course, give them credit and they've made an impressive start to the season.

But I do still think

because of what's at stake for them, because of the emotion around Liverpool winning another title, and you can feel it already, and you can feel the excitement within the ranks about this because ending, again, Man City's dominance that you feel that twist could still come and that they could still have that stumble.

Manchester City were the only side in the last well for a long time where I've just thought if they were in the lead at this stage I would I'd give it a 100% total that they would win the league.

But with Liverpool's case I just I still don't think that's that's that says and even the game yesterday showed that you can get at them and that you can get in behind their defence and they have been conceding goals and when you are conceding goals like that it just takes one off day for things to turn back i mean you're you're a total fan i mean last couple of results what so a four free defeat at home to chelsea one all with rangers five nil win at southampton that four free against man united and this how much does the spurs fans want to want to win like actually win something i know i know johnny mentioned like he what he call spurs like a loser club or something the other week didn't he but you know I just wonder, so few teams can actually win something.

How many Tottenham fans are coming away going, oh, do you know what?

I've actually been entertained.

You know, I know joked about it before but like versus the wrestle of we want to win a trophy because you've had the winners haven't you you've had the the mourinos and the contes like where where do you kind of sit on this like are you happy with this well i don't think i'm qualified really a because i've been brainwashed by australians for three years into ange being the literally the second coming of all football managers and b because i'm a really a cambridge fan so i don't i don't when total and win i'm like that's great when they lose i just don't mind i'm just like but my feeling is that they've been bad for so so long

just changing you know what happens if they get rid of Ange right they get someone else and they finish as Barney says sort of fifth sixth or seventh and like they'll be a bit I just like this to play out for a bit longer for him to have a full squad that aren't injured to get a few more players in and then see if yet you can

be successful however you define that playing this kind of football.

But at the same time, yeah, it is in terms of, I think it, when you beat Man United on Thursday in the carabout, I think think you think, oh, well, this is fun, and it was a bit stressful, but when you're trying to play out against a team that are just

can't play out, yeah, yeah, yeah, you just can't do it.

Fraser Forster, go on, Fraser, go on, you know, mess around with the ball at the back.

I mean, that's ridiculous.

There are PE teachers who wouldn't ask kids to do that.

I mean, it's ridiculous, and possibly sort of looking disapprovingly on as Fraser Forster, who basically can't really kick the ball very well, fails to play as a top-flight midfielder in the Premier League League under pressure.

It's, I don't know, I'm astonished that people in Australia, as you say, still think that he's a great manager.

That's bizarre to me.

Fraser Forster is he is the last of a dying breed of the kid who became a goalie because they genuinely couldn't play football.

I think so.

I mean, the last two games, you pass him the ball and he just doesn't want the ball and then he's like, well, what did you expect?

What did you want me to do?

Have you never seen Fraser Forster before?

Like, you must have seen him.

He's in his squad.

They pay him a weekly wage to play football.

I was like, no, let's ask him.

It's insane.

I mean, yeah, it's crazy.

He did play two progressive passes that found their targets and broke through the lines and a sort of thumbs up from the sidelines.

So, you know, that's what the plan's all about.

You know, sometimes it comes off and most of the time...

Yeah, improve on the pitch in the Premier League.

Learn how to play football.

It's a good place to train.

Exactly.

What you did notice was when

Totem occasionally did just get it launched, there was a big cheer.

You know, there was like, oh, thank God for that.

Someone has just hoided the thing upfield.

Anyway, let's go to Villa Park, Villa 2, Man, City 1.

You were there, Barney.

As I said in the intro, like, I found it interesting that Match of the Day went with the Arsenal game first.

Maybe that was because it was a later kickoff and fewer people would have seen it.

I don't know.

But City losing now is not fascinating.

And that in itself is kind of fascinating.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's fascinating.

I think it's definitely the most interesting thing about them.

I'm never going to run out of energy for them losing.

But they are losing in the same way every week, which is not so interesting.

I mean, in a way, it seems like just a simple tactical equation.

I mean, the midfield is just gone.

So time and again, there's no...

I mean, villagers dominated them in midfield.

They had so much time.

So

you lose your midfield pressure.

It means the opposition can just pass easily.

They have time.

Then Kyle Walker's not on the pitch.

And when he is, isn't that kind of mopping up presence.

but we're still going to play a high line because that's just what we do mate and so it's just do this every time you know opposition have worked out that if you just pass quickly down that sort of inside channel as villa did time and time again you're just going to be running through into all that space behind them and that just kept happening even before they scored that way and morgan rogers was brilliant but he realized that he could just dominate every single one of those players individually.

He sort of did it in rotation.

He's really good.

I love the way he uses his physicality really cleverly.

Like he'll just go and stand on someone and just roll off them.

And City is just, the aura has gone.

And Villa really enjoyed just kind of pushing them around really.

It was really extraordinary to watch how quickly that thing has collapsed.

And Pep says, well, I know what it is.

We're not scoring as many goals and we're letting more in.

That's the reason.

But maybe it is just that.

Like you can either have a kind of great theme theory about why you have a complete cultural collapse, or you can say it's small details.

often it's a mixture of the two but they look like they're going to win another game at the moment yeah one win in 12 Seb

I mean no other manager I mean I'm not saying you know Pep is Pep it is different but how many other managers would survive a run-of-the-worm

this bad I guess the question is how many if you look at their fixtures now and you said look there are you know there aren't easy games I think they've got three games I think it's of West Everton Leicester and West Ham or something if after those three

this continues I don't think it's Pep Out, but I'm just fascinated.

When does this end?

How does it end?

Well, it just feels like the machine is broken.

I think they were so

they were a unit that worked so well together, one of the best sides we've ever seen.

And it was because of the team with that added icing on top of the cake with Harland.

You know, I feel like Haaland is like an axe, isn't he?

In that...

If you have somebody who can wield it properly and you need a Bernardo Silver or Kevin de Bruyne or a Rodri to pick up that axe, you need somebody to make the little chips in the wood, you know, the trunk of the tree, and then the axe will slice through the tree.

You see where I'm going with this?

It's a very excellent comparison.

Yeah, no, I was thinking about it.

But while that's not being wielded in the right way, he is just an axe stuck in the ground.

You're stuck in the wood, not really doing anything.

And I found it, I think Nottingham Forest need to have a word with themselves because how they lost in the way they did to this city side is more alarming considering the form.

I would say, because you look at the, I feel like every team, Barr, Southampton, Leicester, and Ipswich at the moment, I feel like every other team in the league could go into the game believing they can beat this Manchester City side, which is incredible to believe.

I mean, Villa were the only home side to win this weekend, which caught the eye.

And as far as how many games can Guardiola lose before he gets the sack, you know, is a fun debate to have.

I think the only other manager at the moment you feel in the league who could get away with this run of form is a two-a-point Arteta maybe

but otherwise I don't believe anybody else could and even Ange with his with his with his wonderful football so yeah and I think that's forced Guardiola into this zone now where he's coming out with quotes which are confusing a lot of people he's not used to having to speak about matches in this way and so maybe in himself when he genuinely looks frustrated when he's genuinely scratching his face and looking really agitated before we might might have thought of it as performative, but I'm not entirely sure because of his personality whether he is actually going through a moment here and thinking, actually, I'm not sure what I can do because things have gone so well for so long.

And usually when I've sensed that something might be going wrong, I've just left or I've moved on.

But he's just signed this new contract and that timing couldn't have been worse.

I mean, in many ways, he might have thought, I could have held this off.

And maybe the England job is quite good.

Yeah.

But, Sanny, at the end of every Man City conversation, someone says, well, but it is Man City.

They could go on a run now and win every game for the rest of the season.

And you just sense, actually, they absolutely couldn't.

As Barney said, like that Villa midfield, like Telemann was brilliant in this game, but with Rogers ahead of him and then Inanna and Kamara, they just had,

they were just so much fitter and stronger and quicker and technically better than these sort of old guys.

I feel like I can't believe City was so good last year.

I don't, I don't, maybe they weren't, but we all just thought they were.

It was like a sort of Wizard of Oz type thing that we were all just scared of.

Yeah, this.

I was thinking of big drop-offs.

And maybe the only one I could really think, Harchester United.

They implode, wouldn't they?

Maybe there's something going on behind the scenes.

There's been a hostage situation.

Yeah.

Something that's derailed them all.

Linda Block is pulling the strings in the wrong way.

I didn't.

Was it Liverpool?

I think Liverpool, I can't remember what year went from first to.

Yeah, I think they missed out in November, did they?

Well, no, no not quite that low but yeah they had a big jump off i mean i would point out there is something going on behind the scenes um that is true there's been a hearing which even though it's shrouded in secrecy um you know

it's it's a real point of tension and that might have something to do with it.

I mean, there's two macro theories about what's gone wrong because this isn't just a team suddenly losing, is it?

It's extraordinary.

One is that the players...

This is just a theory.

The players.

Pep is exhausting.

You know, he's exhausting.

He's such a perfectionist.

His personality is draining.

It's draining for him.

It's draining for opposition.

Maybe the players kind of felt there might be a change of voice and he signs a new contract.

And

is that good?

They're all just so devastated.

That's a great point, isn't it?

That news happens, and the players are just like, oh, oh, God.

No, it's not as far fetched as you think.

You know, their daily lives are very intense.

And while everybody loves winning, that's fine.

And while you're winning, it's fine.

They've been there a long time, a lot of those people.

I mean, that's one theory that I've heard.

No, it's, you know, the other one is it's deeply unsettling, in fact, to try and live in a bubble, ignoring the stuff that's going on.

And sometimes the world will intrude.

And if your club is essentially a project, an artificial construct, I mean, I've described it as setting fire to a plastic Christmas tree.

You know, it might just go up quite quickly or quicker than some others.

But to go back to Max's original question, I would say get Villa were so well organised.

You know, John Duran nearly scoring from kickoff came from

City went long from the kickoff, and the ball, I think, went back to whoever was the last man.

And John McGimm was immediately chasing him down.

They were immediately pressing like such a well-organized team.

Onana, I thought it was brilliant.

Attila man's fantastic.

And John Duran, I mean, there was that tweet, you know, he plays like someone who's been explaining the rules like five minutes earlier and just with that freedom.

But, you know such a so well organized side but also just the players the quality there

what it really brought into sharp relief was just how uh how off the boil these city players are how completely discombobulated they are and someone like jack grealish has been completely you know you can't say anything original about city can you but you know it is even he who was the the best performer is just reprogrammed into this automaton who can't really do anything and when he finally beat a man and went for a shot he spooned it out almost was a really good cross yeah you know, so they're in all sorts here.

Yeah.

Alright, that'll do for part one, part two.

We'll begin at Old Trafford.

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Welcome to part two of the Guardian Football Weekly.

Michael says, would Big Sir Jim have cancelled the Christmas party after that result if he hadn't already cancelled the Christmas party?

Manchester United 0, Bournemouth 3.

United will be in the bottom half of the table at Christmas for the first time since 1989.

Sandy, you were there.

This was so one-sided.

I'm Bournemouth worst.

So good in this game.

This was.

And if you're in Britain, this is a game where, because it wasn't televised, Reuben Amarin can kind of get away with one here, because you could look at the stats, and Amarin actually, in a post-match press conference, did kind of talk about that, and you know, their XG was higher, and he did have a lot of shots, but they were absolutely second best across the park.

I only got one question to him in the end, and I had to talk about the Wolves game annoyingly, but if I had another, I would have managed to ask him,

is this a side, is this a Bournemouth side you want to emulate?

Because across the park, they were really well organised, the press was just brilliant.

And actually, it's not just that.

And this wasn't a smash and grab, which kind of the stats make it look like that.

They were just better.

Like, they've got better players.

Like, you know, take the fullback, Milos Kirkes versus Tyrone Malasias, like night and day.

Malasi got hooked at half-time.

This bourne of Saida are brilliant.

And remember, they won 3-0 at Old Trafford last season.

And afterwards, Andoni Iraola was asked, compared the two, and he said, well, last year, there wasn't so much control as this year.

And yeah, they were just really well organised as well.

Technically very good.

Barney would be delighted to hear that.

Barney, Barry, I mean, actually, Barry would be delighted to hear that.

It's easy to get those two maddled up.

Lewis Cook came on at half-time, but he came on at fullback, actually, and did very well there as well.

He can do no wrong.

Add to his one England cap.

And United were kind of restricted to pot shots.

For so long, this United side has been relying on a bit of brilliance.

We saw that against Manchester City, of course, didn't we, as well?

And when it doesn't come off, what you're really left with is quite an ineffective side with Xerxe up front not really doing anything compared to, say, Evan Nielsen, who's physically very strong, can score a goal here and there, but also links the play really well.

And overall, it was a really positive performance from Bournemouth.

The first goal kind of encapsulate what's wrong with United.

Zerxe not even bothering to mark Hoyson properly at all.

Hoyson, Hausen, and he gets his head on it and it's 1-0.

Yeah, not good at all from United.

Sonny, I don't know.

This is an interesting question.

Why did you have to ask him about wolves?

Why couldn't you ask him about what you wanted to ask him?

Well, I don't know.

I came from this other world, Max, of teaching where, you know,

there was a bit more order in press conferences where, you know, well, in the classroom, or at least my classroom, I'd like to, anyway.

Right, kids, all of you sit down.

First, we've got to do all the biology.

All the kids put the phones in front of you, turn the mic on.

Exactly.

Yeah, the embargo's five past three on a Thursday.

There were some journalists in those press conference rooms who were very pushy with the question.

They'll shout out.

And I remember when I first came in, and I was like, I'm going to put my hand up.

And then I realised it was the first time I did it.

I just didn't get to ask a question.

I was like, well, brilliant.

I've been sent here for Sky and I've managed to not do my job at all.

So I asked my one

pre-wolves and I started to...

utter make the utterance of a second question but and then they moved on and very quickly somebody else started talking i was like ah so I need to get my elbows out a bit more.

Yeah, dude, yeah, yeah,

Barney, you, um, I think the last time we're on, you might have described Bournemouth as the best team in the world, um, but they are whether they're that, uh, people could debate it if they wanted to, but they're so impressive.

Yeah, they're really good, they have a really good manager, and uh, the players are all in the right space and sort of playing up to their

highest level.

I mean, so whenever I see them, they're incredible.

I don't really understand why they're not sort of top top of the league it's when you look at the table and they're 10th or something but yeah it's really interesting that you can there's that model isn't there i mean manchester united is such a kind of baroque confusing thing it's so hard to build a team whereas if you're essentially all receiving quite a lot of money now you know every premier league team does have a really good budget and your club is really quite a simple stripped bat machine somewhere like bournemouth or brighton you have a lot more freedom.

Maybe it is just much easier.

Well, I mean, clearly, it is much easier to build a coherent team.

The manager doesn't have to come in and think about culture and DNA and this is how we play and have all these kind of talking heads in the media saying this is terrible, it was much better when I was there.

It's in a way a kind of blank slate, and you've got a massive budget, and the fans will be happy and you can just create something.

Whereas Ruben Amarim, you know, he sort of came swinging in like a handsome pirate, and he now, you know, the scale of the thing

is so huge and depressing.

There are so many men, you know, the Pollet Bureau

having opinions and ideas.

It's so difficult to make that work.

And it's self-perpetuating.

Let's get even more people in to have an opinion.

I don't know how to solve that.

I don't think anyone does.

They keep giving players who aren't good enough contracts and quite long ones and buying players in who aren't good enough to improve the team.

I mean,

so do you think, like, you, as in recruitment, if you're at Bournemouth, it's easier than if you're Manchester United because there's no pressure to spend.

You don't have to buy the player that everyone's heard of.

If Man United bought the same player, there would be so much more pressure on them to be good.

You know, if they bought Kirk's, suddenly it's just suddenly like the pressure on him is so much more.

So that it feels counterintuitive in a way that it should be easier at Bournemouth, but it totally makes sense.

But all your expertise and energy simply goes into making a functioning team.

You're not fighting ghosts and noises off and constant pressure.

It must be so much easier because you have the money and the resources.

You have a wealthy owner, too.

You can hire the smartest coach who's maybe not a big name and just build a team from scratch.

Yeah.

And I suppose you're right.

There's no, they don't cut back to Super Sunday and it's just five ex-Bournemouth players.

just having their having their thoughts on it.

Yeah, I hadn't considered it that much.

Just very quickly to mention, Rashford dropped again and I was there for Sky Sports News pitch side.

And we're like, right, got team news.

Marcus Rashford's not playing.

Before they came to me to break that news, they, of course, went to Tottenham, where you had Gary Neville able to give his immediate reaction that went everywhere.

You know, Bourma dropper player, we're not crossing to Steve Fletcher or something before you come to me.

So, you know,

that's going on again.

And we'll have to wait and see.

Amarim said it was his decision to drop Rashford.

If he doesn't play against Wolves, then, yeah, I think it could be goodbye.

Of course, it was Wolves, what, last season, where he'd been dropped by Ten Hag and came back and scored a goal.

So we'll wait and see.

Even the idea that dropping Marcus Rashford is a big deal, I find extraordinary.

Jamie Carragher is right.

The amount we talk about him compared to whether he's actually a top-class player is bizarre.

I mean, he's not very good.

Of course, you should drop him.

Yeah, he's a homegrown kid and he's famous and he's done good things in

the wider world, but he's eminently droppable.

Drop him.

It's fine.

It's not a story.

what for reuben amarim what does he take from this seb

the loss i mean yeah that's how it is at manchester united i think look we've just discussed all the issues they have and they have so many issues you know their their walls are made of straw they're trying to slap expensive paint on it's the wrong paint really the colors don't work together and there's there is so much going wrong with them Amarim, in a weird way, feels very un-Manchester United because of him being a manager who obviously was, people were aware that he was talented and the things he was doing but he wasn't a big name manager so it goes against the grain for them a little bit and they are under I would say unique pressure in the Premier League because they are the only club I think in the Premier League whose fans are expecting them to sign only big names because of their stature I do feel that Liverpool and Arsenal can can get away with it a bit more and in Chelsea's case they just buy everybody so it doesn't matter if they're a big name small name they just get players in and get players out and city on the sly have been doing that as well so i i don't really know what they can do unless they just decide where we are going to be a club that aren't manchester united in that way but there is so much noise in the in the media and and high profile ex-players talking about them they're in an impossible position especially where there are clubs around who can spend money as well so i just want to go back to bournemouth because i think they're a side that will run the legs off anybody i think i saw them against west ham which is probably a reason why they're not as high as they are, because in games like that, they do have a bit of trade-off with the opposition, and that's where they've drawn games and lost.

There was interesting spoke about Howlson, and he is that profile of player that they are able to get.

He looks the part in terms of his height, but not in terms of his girth and his build.

He was in the first half against West Ham, and I saw he was trying to pass the ball out from the back and show that cultured side of him, but he kept losing the ball.

So you could see the second half he was instructed i don't want you to do that anymore i don't want you to do that i want you to just play to somebody else short or go long and the manager was telling him to adapt and be smart as we were saying

and then they in the end you know they rescued a point in that game they have taken the for the soft spot award in the league they've wrestled it away from brentford who have let me down recently and they are now my soft spot in the Premier League award.

Palace World Arsenal 5.

Gabriel Days is his first Premier League goals in 24 games.

He scored five goals in four days against Palace.

Probably should have had a hat-trick, said.

And maybe because he looks on the verge of tears all the time, he feels like he's more of a confidence player than other players.

But all players, we talked about City, all players are confidence players, aren't they?

I think they are.

And I also think, I don't know whether we feel like footballers are having us on sometimes where they just think it's all about timing with them.

Is it coming towards the transfer window?

Is my contract running out?

You know, these these sort of situations seem to give players an extra lift.

And I think in Jesus' case, he knows he's on borrowed time with Arsenal right now because it's an area where everybody's saying they need to really bring in the next big name.

And we're closing in on January, and he's feeling now this pressure.

And now he's going to be needed with Saka injured.

I saw them in midweek against Palace in a game in which...

It was the first game this season where I've seen Arsenal change their attitude a bit.

And I think conceding the early goal and Kivior's error

you look at it and Arteta's looking at this and thinking if we're going to win the league we're going to have to be a more expansive side to an extent we can't shut games down and hope to pick up 1-0 wins we have injuries in our defense we're going to have to change our style and he's going to have to do it again because Saka was the one constant in the side that they would the way they're structured they'd get that ball out wide to him and he'd be secure he'd rarely lose the ball and he'd be the one to make something happen now he's gone they are going to have to be a bit different and it might help them because they are a talented side.

And I think in the league as a whole, they are probably the most

side you'd expect to rely on defensively the most.

But the errors creeping in and the injuries have put doubt in that.

So it's going to be interesting to see how Arsenal cope in this Christmas period.

Will we see a different side that might be capable of going on a run and closing that gap on Liverpool?

Yeah, I touched on, Barney, because they missed Odegaard for quite a while.

I sort of feel they have people that can play the Saka role, clearly not as well as him, in a way that they don't have for Odegaard.

So I wonder if they will be able to cope with that, depending on how long he's out for, obviously, slightly more.

Yeah, I mean,

I agree with Seb.

It's interesting that Saka's out.

I actually, I mean, you know, this sounds ridiculous, but it might actually be good in a way,

because

they're so predictable when Saka's playing well.

You know, I've watched them so many many times going down.

They have no left side.

They scored two goals from the left after Saka went off in this game, which is a thing.

Martinelli moved to the right, which might actually be quite good for him.

They do have talented players there.

Like, mixing it up might actually be dealing.

I mean, when you're injured, you're obviously not having a rest, but you kind of are having a rest.

I mean, it might not be the worst thing.

I think that Arsenal are the most likely team from here to push on and challenge Liverpool properly.

And I think

they're like in a good little spell.

I don't think it's the end of the world if Saka misses a few games and they re-gear themselves a bit.

They become so linear and so predictable.

And some of those players really need to, in a way, step out of his shadow.

And they are good players.

And it'll be really interesting to see how that kind of mix works now.

Yeah, and he's played so much football.

Like it's sort of, I know you've probably written about this, lots of people have, just about how many football matches he has played.

And so, you know, he can have time the rest of his body was his hamstring the rest of his body and his mind can have a rest uh can't they yeah they're six points behind of having played a game more producer joel writing that he was in a pub watching this game and the sense of anticipation when arsenal get a corner he'd never seen anything like it you know it's uh it's quite extraordinary well can i just say that that they've shut down they've shut down so there was all these theories flying around and I was hearing it from ex-managers and stuff in the weeks leading up.

Just leave three men up for the, you know, from the corner.

Leave, do this.

this do that we saw monaco did it and then palace have done it in consecutive matches and glasner said after the first game that you know they're going to work on a way of adapting to that and then they did you know another corner goes in and another goal and a different type of one because maybe jesus wouldn't have had that space if palace have had more players back it's just you know there's this idea that teams don't adapt obviously spurs don't but all the other teams don't gen generally adapt to a situation is always laughable if you just do this this will sort the problem out Yeah, but what about the counterbalance?

And, you know, Letetta's looking, okay, teams are going to leave three up.

Monaco, we've seen Monaco do it, right?

Get back to training.

This is what we're going to do.

On Saka, by the way, that was his 250th game.

He's 23, so he's averaged 11 games a season from birth.

Like, you know, give him a break.

Right.

What twist.

What twist.

Glasnar said...

that they were good in some parts.

They didn't feel like a 5-1 for quite a lot of the game, but they were defensively very poor in their own box, which seems like a bad place to be defensively poor, doesn't it?

Um, uh, let's do Forest win at Brentford, Barney.

Forrest, I mean, I had relegated them, and I don't know if I was the well, I wasn't, Barry did as well, and I don't know how naive that was, and perhaps it was silly.

It was very, it was very naive, and I thought they were going to probably come forth the night.

Did you?

You said as much at the time in private.

In private, I said that, but even with even with Nuno, the dying general, what is he?

What is Nuno now?

Uh, his, his, he, he has a disarming smile, doesn't he?

It's weird.

It's like I really not expecting to see it, but it's incredibly charming.

When he turns it on, you're just kind of like, wow.

And it's great.

I mean, Forester

are a great, you know, powerful English club, and they should be capable of finishing fourth in the top tier.

And they're really fun to watch.

They have really good wingers.

I love Morgan Gibbs White, and I don't see any reason why they should drop off from this point.

They're not overperforming, they're just playing well.

And interesting,

I think they've got the second lowest possession in the Premier League.

What they have is they have the most, they have two players who do the most carries with the ball.

So that lack of possession is a attacking weapon.

It's interesting because you sort of wondered how teams were going to combat.

the you know the dominance of possession football and it's taken a while but this year in particular there's a lot of teams who don't expect to have the ball all the time who have players who carry the ball a lot and you know Hudson Adoy is particular I think he might even be top of that Gibbs White's up there and it's a brilliant attacking weapon for them because they're doing it to a plan and and with every part working together and it works

yeah and Brentford's first defeat at home this season to upset Seb

and very much Pete have made the point that that actually they've beaten lots of teams at home who aren't very good and lost away at lots of teams who are good and so maybe this is, they just played a team who are good, but happened to play them at home.

Let's go to Ipswich.

Oh, Sally, it was so wet.

I mean, it was just too wet for football.

Like, like, it just, I just would have been so sad to be there.

And if you're an Ipswich fan, and then you concede after a minute.

And it's one of those where you don't think you've conceded because it's VAR.

And then you have conceded.

And you're like, oh.

Make this stop.

Tom Gale, a colleague of mine, was the commentator on Match of the Day.

And right at the start, he was like, it's so, and you could tell wherever he was, and he was like, believe me,

you just knew he'd kind of like broken the fourth wall or whatever, and just told you, yes, I am actually getting destroyed here in the weather.

Yeah, it was, Leif Davis got a lot of stick on actually on that analysis, actually.

And a lot of times he was so high up the pitch, a bit like what we saw with Jed Spence with Spurs as well.

A lot of the time it just allowed Newcastle to have these opportunities.

I mean, Alexander Isak's been had this in his in his locker.

He just keeps getting injured, doesn't he?

And Murphy was fascinating in just how well he played, considering, I don't think Newcastle fans are particularly liked.

I mean, were he booing him recently?

Was it even this one as well?

And he was fantastic.

One of the back eel assists that he pulled off as well was just brilliant.

I mean, the saddest part of all of this, actually, was the goal that wasn't, the fifth goal.

And Dan Byrne wheeling away.

I celebrated for so long.

Yeah,

because it was so wet, and he did the slide and he was on the floor and somebody was on top of him and like it got to the point where people knew the goal hadn't that he just hadn't known.

Um, very sad for him.

Do you think because he's bigger that his momentum when he slides is sort of a longer

the slide is long, everything is long, right?

Just his slides belong, but I did really notice poor Dandra and they should have told him sooner, shouldn't they?

But Barney, what I mean, Isaac is, I had some, but a couple of people on the radio saying he's the most complete centre-forward in the Premier League.

I don't know if you have a list in front of you in your mind.

Well, you know,

I have an index of completeness, and every day I fill in the little graphs, and his completeness is going up.

But yeah, there are other...

I mean, I don't know.

I think the Newcastle midfield is probably Gimarash, Tenali, and Willock.

That's good.

And when Tenali plays,

they win.

basically they tend to win.

I think that's really key to that team.

And yeah, I mean, he

scores the goals and he's good when he's fit, but I don't know, completeness.

I mean, how complete is Erling Haaland?

Is he complete?

No, I don't think he is complete, is he?

I mean, to be complete, to be complete, you have to do all the things.

Maybe who's the most is Drogba the most complete of the centre-forwards?

Because he could do everything, he could hold it up, he could almost flick it on to himself and his peak, Drogba.

What about Pele?

Yeah, Pele was good, I guess.

Was Pele complete?

He used to miss loads of shots from the halfway line, didn't he?

That was the one.

He used to drift in and out of games.

I'd rather face Pele than Drogba on his day, I think.

Seb.

I don't know.

I don't know where Liam DeLamp, you know, R9 Ronaldo is.

I mean, Liam DeLampi would put in the completeness.

It's can you do all, can you do all the things?

Perhaps, you know, perhaps, perhaps, you know, Messi is Messi is better than

Alexander Isaac, but he's not complete because you can't knock it up to the big, he's not going to flick it on for Peter Beardsley, is he?

Messi.

I think completeness is a different thing to ability.

Anyway, Isak becoming the second Swedish player to score a Premier League hat-trick.

After who?

Oh, it's not Zlatan, it's too obvious.

No, it's Latin.

Lundberg.

Correct.

Lundberg, yeah.

Freddie Lundberg.

For Arsenal at Sundland 2003, you win the Christmas Guardian quiz, Barney.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

No, it's a pleasure.

All right, that'll do for part two.

Part three, we'll begin with Wolves 3-0 win at Leicester.

Welcome to part three of the Guardian Football Weekly.

Leicester 0 Wolves 3.

This Sanny was a nice start for Vitor Pereira, wasn't it?

I liked how irritated he looked through the whole game and then very happy afterwards.

Yeah, and when the Wolves fans start singing his name, I think at 203-0,

you've got a feel for Gary O'Neill.

It was a strange one, though.

The first two goals in particular were kind of like nothing goals.

Like,

you know, there's barely like a sometimes you can see a goal is going to happen.

You can see it opening up.

And it was like one pass or two passes.

And he would just threw.

And you're like, oh, okay, right.

You now 2-0 up.

They didn't earn it.

They didn't have to earn it.

Yeah,

didn't have to strive.

Didn't have to struggle.

And I guess that kind of says more about where Leicester up to defensively.

And then you start questioning the the the appointment of of um ruvan this story admittedly though jamie vardy just he doesn't i know it's again a cliche he didn't slow down but even that it was it was early on i think at nil nil like he was outpacing the the last man and he was almost there and he had a bit of a rush from joe's aesar to kind of mop it up and there was another bit in the second half i think where he like needlessly leapt over the advertising hoardings like just don't do that you don't need to do that you just look after yourself jamie but yeah he's so he did give him a a good go and fair play to Wolves.

Did he manage to turn it around?

I mean, the other controversy is the fact that Matteus Cunha was playing and then scored the third goal after nicking that poor Ipsich man's glasses and, you know, trying to biff him.

So yeah,

lots for Vita Pereira to kind of mull over there.

Interesting, Samedo in the post-match interview said, you know, he was asked, has Pereira had much time to do anything with you?

He said, oh, no, he's done loads and he's brought a real positive energy, which kind of says everything you need to know about where things had left with Gary Gary O'Neill, especially when he's digging out the players on TV.

So yeah, a very positive start for Pereira, but they'll have a well, I'd say they'll have a tougher task for Man United.

He might not actually come to say that.

I guess Somedo has to say that, you know, has to say something like that.

It's not going to say, well, he's that bugger all.

You know, this bloke.

I wonder, Barney, like, given how many Portuguese speakers there are at Walls, it seems sensible to have somebody who speaks.

Portuguese there.

I can't remember if Bruno Large did well or not.

I just, I can't remember.

It might have been a year ago.

It might have been 10 years years ago.

I can't remember.

But is that not a silly idea?

Do you think maybe if Gary O'Neill had been able to sort of insult his players in Portuguese

and have arguments in Portuguese and become incredibly upset in Portuguese, that could have been a percentage difference.

You never know.

Marginal gain.

It is possible.

Leicester Sebs defending is so bad, as Sanny alluded to, the first, the second goal, especially, where James Justin sort of ignores the ball and then danny ward dives past it i mean i really enjoyed it i think you just said that danny ward dived past it i think that when i looked at the lineups before the game and i looked at leices lineup and i i just i thought there's only going to be one winner of this i genuinely look through their side and i don't see a side that is going to in my opinion realistically not be in a relegation fight all season i just don't think the quality is there at all and you know a lot of credit of course to jamie vardy for scoring at the age he's at but the fact that they're in this position and they're bringing in players like Ayu at this this sort of situation means they're going to have a real struggle on their hands because I think Wolves have got some talented players I mean having a team with so many gomezes in it is isn't helpful for commentators it feels you're forced into using the entire name every time or just saying totty obviously what's your limit said what's your what do you think is the acceptable limit for gomezes in a team two oh i well i i don't know i think if it was a full 11 as long as usually with portuguese or brazilians because there's other names you can use the full name you can use a nickname you've got ways around it i think it was a team full of smiths have been nightmare or griffiths that name really is it's a tough one to get your teeth and tongue around especially when you're from east london and you've been working hard to do your th's properly over the years how many griffiths are there was it lee lee griffiths up front with what terry terry griffiths in the hole is that's what's happening oh it's an eyebrow you're probably safe aren't you yeah i just imagine gary Nil watching this game for five minutes.

Just turn it off.

Turn it off.

I don't want to see it.

Turn it off, Dave.

I don't know where you got Dave from.

I should have just said Gomez.

Turn off, Gomez.

But

Lester, it felt like, you know, with Van Nistelroy, it was his job interview for Leicester was Manchester United beating Leicester in that short period of time, those two games.

It's a difficult job.

I think the only, I thought their only hope was maybe Wolves continuing on this path, and that's been put to bed with a match like this.

so are we in a position to i know it's been a fascinating season but are we really in a position now to to just say that the the the three that came up are are going to go down

yeah it's starting to look like it

for some reason for illips which have got the best hope but i don't know what based on

the fact they're slightly better than the other two i don't know uh let's go to gooderson some vintage sean dice here barney 25 possession consecutive goldest drawers at arsenal now at home to chelsea have the most clean clean sheets in Europe's top five leagues since the 1st of October.

So this is what we want and hope for with Sean Days.

There's no better way to celebrate the new ownership, the triumphant week that they've had, the stadium getting closer than a 25% possession, nil-nil draw that probably keeps you in the division.

I mean, you know, I think that they will probably refresh the managerial position at some point just because people like doing things like that.

But I really hope he does get his Christmas hamper and his farewell and his company for Granada because he has done an amazing job and he kind of has saved the club in a weird way with games like this.

So hopefully it was seen as a triumphant lap of honor and every 0-0 draw from now until the end of the season will be a Deitch tribute.

Yeah, I mean

so you think in the summer they will twist.

You can see it being a disastrous idea, can't you?

I mean you can just see it's absolutely written that Everton twist, and then it doesn't work because whoever inherits this squad has inherited a Sean, a Daishian squad, and then says, you know, it could be Ange by the time it gets to next summer, couldn't it?

That would be fun.

It would be fun to get Ange with that squad saying, right, here we go, lads.

I mean, although, you know, Pickford can play out.

He did another Pickford-y thing, Sanny, where he just absolutely tried to break every part of Malagus not maliciously but

it's interesting that that wasn't penalized it is um

and a bit of a debate on whether if he was an outfield player would it have been a dangerous tackle but but when I was watching in real time I was like well he's the goalie like he he's got to spread himself out he's going to try and do something but yeah I mean

in the context of the game and all the stuff he'd done before that, rushing out a couple times early on as well, like, yeah, he's just gone mad, hadn't he?

He'd just really gone for it.

And maybe because it's Jordan Pickford, are we more forgiving of him as our England goalkeeper, perhaps?

No,

I don't think so.

I'm not sure.

I don't think we are.

But I think he does.

I think that is really dangerous.

And

he has previous for this, doesn't he?

I mean, I know as a goalkeeper, you've got to make that decision so instantly.

But that's not the instant decision to make, I always suggest.

Yeah, yeah, so that's that.

That is a fair point.

I'll give you that.

And he managed to get booked for time wasting very early on as well in this squad, which is also a good sign for Daish.

I mean, to be fair, this game, I know Jackson hit the post, didn't he?

I think, and

the weather was just really bad.

Like, on the Guardian Live page, there's a post that says, like, there's just loads of plastic bags blowing onto the pitch, and the ball was blowing away as well.

The new owners coming in and just Tesco bags just flying all over the place.

Like, what have I bought here?

Let's do West Ham Brighton, Seb.

West Ham are funny, aren't they?

It's Lopotegui.

We're just basically working on how many games he is away from the sack.

And does a draw with Brighton mean he's got, what, three,

the three defeats away now?

Because he was one for a bit, and then maybe two, and maybe one again, and now maybe three.

I think we've moved on actually from this.

Oh, have we?

Okay.

Yeah, I think from Lopoteggi, is he in or is he out?

I think he's just sort of bouncing along, and we'll check back on it.

You know, we'll check back on it in a minute.

But he's

if you're trying to predict a game like that beforehand, it felt 1-1 was always going to be a live scoreline in your mind because West Ham have been that sort of team all season whereby you look at the names on paper and you feel, these are good players.

They've got some good players, especially in the front area, some top, top players.

And Brighton, they've been having so many plaudits at the start of this campaign, but it's just falling off a little bit.

So 1-1,

you know, felt about right.

And it also felt like the game of all the games, perhaps Fulham and Southampton would compete for that that felt the most irrelevant this weekend compared to what went on elsewhere I mean to the point where I'm actually I was desperate to get in the fact that Everton completed only 152 passes against Chelsea 149 against Arsenal both in the top five this season for fewest completed passes that was higher up in my mind than discussing West Ham and Brighton but I don't know what the target is for both those sides at this moment in time.

Certainly at West Ham, I don't know where they sit.

And it's reached that point.

I don't even think there's a discussion about Lopotegi right now.

He's sort of out of the spotlight until maybe he's back live on Sky again.

Okay.

Fabian Herzler Barney afterwards said we need to

win these games to get out of this circle of bad experiences, which I thought was a really good way of describing what being a football fan is, actually.

It is just a circle of bad experiences.

I suppose most of life is essentially a circle of bad experiences, isn't it?

Like

mitigated by the occasional good experience, but good experiences are always more nuanced, aren't they?

There's very rarely things that are solely good.

There's always a bit of bad in there too.

And the bad can often corrupt the good.

So I don't know how Fabian Herzler is going to escape from bad experiences when that's essentially

the real meat and the armature of life.

Maybe because he's so young and handsome and successful he hasn't realized this yet and he needs to be very slowly dragged into the circle i think it'd probably good for him to be honest yeah how many years do you think do we do we check back with fabian in 15 years 20 years to see if he's accepted the circle of bad experiences i think it'd take about six months probably by the end of the premier league yeah yeah

the one thing that surprised me about this game is um i just don't understand why um Nicholas Fulcruck isn't functioning in the Premier League.

He seems so perfect.

He should have nine goals and be a kind of sub-Chrud kind of guy.

But he scored once.

And they're not like, it's such an obvious weapon.

The Premier League disappoints me that this German who's good in the air, good at finishing, he's 31.

He should just walk in and be scoring against teams like Brighton every week.

Something's gone wrong with the balance of the universe when that's not just an automatic thing.

Finally, Fulham-Is, Southampton-0.

This was the televised game at 2pm of the four,

and

not a massive amount happened.

Aaron Ramsell had a big third, fourth finger glove on, which sort of got huge, got headlines in newspapers, such as

the lack of action.

And 17-year-old Josh King made his debut born the 3rd of January 2007.

A moment like this.

Leona Lewis was number one after successfully winning X Factor.

And Southampton have appointed Ivan Urich as their new manager on an 18-month deal.

He had 12 games at Roma, was successful in in Torino and Hella Sperona before that, which does mean

the last time we'll see Simon Rusk in the dugout for a little while.

And I wonder when we'll next consider Simon Rusk.

It may be a while.

Kevin says, not a question, but Geras Healthkey on Desert Island Discs came across as a modest, thoughtful man, an amazing achievement, given the profession he's been in for 40 years and no cold play.

Do you want his choices, gentlemen?

Yes.

Yeah, go on.

Vindaloo?

Not Vindaloo.

Fat Les.

Vindaloo.

Yeah.

Bruce Hornsby in the range, the way it is.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm happy with that.

I wouldn't turn that off if it came on the radio.

Carpenters, Rainy Days and Mondays.

Tears for Fears, Everybody Wants to Rule the World.

The Water Boys, The Hole of the Moon,

the pick of the songs, I would suggest.

Mary J.

Blige and You Two with One.

The Stormsy Remix of Ed Sheeran's Shape of You, Someone Like You by Adele, and a song called Experience by Ludovico Ainaudi that I'm not aware of.

And the book he chose was that Steve Peters one about the shin or whatever it is.

You're going to take that book to a desert island, just reread it over and over again, trying to

motivate yourself to be on a desert island.

I'm really being on a desert island really well now.

Come on, Karen.

Is that a woke playlist?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Is that correct?

There's a lot of yearnings.

Yeah, yearning.

So Mary J.

Blige in there.

I mean, I love Mary J.

Blige, but I wasn't expecting Gareth to, so I don't know what's going on there.

And there's probably quite a lot of you too in that song.

I think.

The whole of the moon was when he was, I think, when he was training at Palace, I think, you know, and was on, you know, a bag of crisps and 10 quid a week.

And Adele was the song that he listened to over and over again.

Hopefully not before the final of the Euros, because that's not going to get you up for it, is it?

You know, that's not going to make you bring Cole Palmer on quicker than he should.

Roll the dice, take the handbrake off.

He's like, I'm listening to Adele.

The handbrake is on.

Matthew says, Can Seb give us an update on how his sheep are getting on?

Happy Christmas to all of you at the Guardian Football Weekly.

Thank you for your insights, love, and humor during a very uncertain year.

How are the sheep, Seb?

Yeah, well, since I mentioned them on the podcast, they haven't escaped, which is a good situation.

They have annoyed me in the last day because we bought a bulk of hay from a new supplier and they had a bit of nibble at it and they don't seem interested and i've bought 10 bales of that stuff so fuming if i have to force it down their neck then i would but i can't because i don't want to get in those sort of bad headlines for mysterying animals because i treat my sheep really really well right so different hay tastes different is what we've learned yeah no it does you can smell it you can smell it you know you want it to smell sweet and the risk of hay is you don't want any moisture to get near it because it will ruin it very quickly.

Got it.

Okay.

Yeah.

Hoached hay is off the menu.

Don't eat it, though.

Don't eat it yourself.

Our stomachs are not designed to be chewing dried grass.

Got it.

Question 19 of the Guardian quiz of the year is a multiple-choice question.

On the eve of the U.S.

election, which podcaster confidently declared in a post on X, Carmela Harris will comfortably win because Biden's admin has been solid.

Trump's lost ground since 2016.

The young blackmail votes which Trump Trump needs didn't turn out in 16, 18, 20, or 22.

Young women like Carmela and vote.

Ignore the polls.

They're herding after past misses.

Was it?

A.

Justin Webb of BBC's AmeriCast.

B.

Joe Rogan of the Joe Rogan Experience.

C.

John Sopal of the News Agents.

D.

Rory Stewart of The Rest is Politics.

Or E.

Max Rushton of The Guardian Football Weekly.

Well, I think it was Rory, wasn't it?

I think it was.

It was quite Rory Stewart.

It sounds very Rory

Uh, to have been discovered, to be in a quiz.

Um,

finally, Carl says, You bastards.

Three months I've been waiting for on a vasectomy.

Knowing I would have Max, Barry, and co-alongside me holding my hand and guiding me through with the classic vasectomy podcasts was the one upside of my Friday the 13th surgery.

Sadly, I was unaware of the Guardian strike, so my Premier League preview podcast wasn't available.

All I had to listen to on the day was the rustling of medical paper, the hiss of the soldiering iron, and the tears falling from my cheeks onto the sterile bed I was was lying on.

As much as I understand and support strike action, I selfishly feel let down.

The tone of my post-vasectomy email is very different from the one I intended to write when I first made the appointment.

Recovery is going fine if you care.

Keep up the great work, Carl.

We want to know, and you have our apologies.

And

if everybody is having their vasectomy, we'll try and tie it in.

We'll get it to the National Union of Journalists, and

we can sink our diaries.

yes Barney and I wasn't asking a question I was just wondering about the vasectomy chat like is yeah we get a lot of emails about it we get a lot of emails about it

it feels to me that means Barney you don't listen all the way to the end maybe you don't even listen to the beginning

yeah

maybe listen to the bits in the in the middle um yeah okay this is a big thing a lot is there like an epidemic of

there's a big venn diagram the venn diagram of well it's just a lot of people listen to us while having their vasectomy it was someone emailed us i think about five years ago and then it it sent a sort of spiral to the point where now people save the podcast for their vasectomy yeah would you compare estopignan's challenge in the uh west ham game

to what it was

like yeah i mean it wasn't a great one i don't think that's how they're done um yeah It depends how low they hang.

I mean, I don't know.

It depends on it.

It was quite high up.

Yeah, that is true.

But if you walk in, if anyone works in and this man says, hi, I'm Purvis and is in full Brighton kit.

Perhaps go to the next booth.

Anyway, look, that'll do for today, won't it?

Thank you, Seb.

Thank you very much.

Thanks, Barney.

Cheers, everyone.

Thanks, Sanny.

Cheers.

Merry Christmas.

Football Weekly is produced by Joel Grove and Silas Gray.

Our executive producer is Danielle Stevens.

We'll do the Christmas Eve Christmas special tomorrow.

This is The Guardian.