Dune (1984)

It's free with ads, the podcast that asks the question: why pay max 10 bucks a month to watch those new Dune movies when you can go online for free and watch the 1984 version of this sci-fi classic that tells the tale of Paul Atreides, who would become Muad Deep, and later Kwisatz Hadarak, the prophesized Lisan Al Ghlib, who would ride the Shai Halud.

If that seemed overwhelming, don't worry, the movie won't really explain any of it.

I'm Jordan Morris.

And I'm Emily Fleming.

Today's movie is the original film adaptation of Dune, directed by my favorite, David Lynch.

And it may be harder to follow than the reboot, but has more scenes of Sting emerging from chambers wearing metal speedos.

With us always is super producer Matt hitting us with those spicy drops.

I will kill you!

I will kill him!

What's up, everyone?

It's me, Lisan Al Matt Lieb.

Yes,

Matt, I wouldn't be surprised if you

had read every giant dune book.

Am I wrong?

Am I clocking you wrong then?

Well, no,

so you are wrong technically because I've only read the first one.

And the only reason I didn't read the rest of them is because I had a very good friend, have a very good friend, who told me, just read the first one.

You don't want to get into the rest.

You're not going to like it, and it's going to lead nowhere, and it's just going to make you angry.

And I was like, all right,

fair enough.

So can I ask you a question, Matt?

Yes.

Is this movie the first book or is he summarizing the entirety of Dune?

It's the first book.

It's okay.

Yeah, just like the Dune Part 1, Dune Part 2

by Denis Villeneuve,

or however you pronounce it.

Good pronunciation.

No, I think that was correct.

It was perfect.

I put stank on it for no reason.

There's some things that are in this that I haven't seen in the other two that we saw, the new ones?

Yeah, I mean, there was, I feel like

they were incredibly similar, which I was surprised by.

But, I mean, does it end with Paul Atreides becoming himself a sandworm who becomes the emperor?

No, it doesn't.

So therefore, it's just the first book.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, yeah, guys, we'll get into it.

But first, before we talk about this movie, which is as of this recording, streaming free with ads, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week.

Emily, you got something for us.

What is it?

Okay, so I know that we love adding Godzilla noises to music because it makes it better.

Yes, and it makes our way better.

Everyone knows that.

That's just a truism at this point.

We can, you know, that's just a truth that everyone has accepted.

It feels good.

We found this out because of the Godzilla 1998 soundtrack

with Brain Stew.

Was it Brain?

It was Brain Stew.

Yeah, Brain Stew.

And the Godzilla sound.

But I think that maybe he's a fictional beast, you know, Godzilla.

Maybe beasts of like beasts of reality nature could also enhance music.

So I have an example here if you'd like to play it.

Have you ever wondered what Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus would sound like if it was recorded by a bunch of bees?

Have you ever wondered recording the USA if I never saw it sound like if it was recorded by the

reach

of

Emily?

Who has done this?

So I saw that video posted by Frida Oliver217 on Instagram.

And I'm having a hard time finding the name of the guy who did the song, but that's where I saw it on Instagram.

So, you know, if you find the guy who did it, let us know.

Yeah.

But yeah, I was just like, maybe bees or the new Godzilla.

I don't know.

Yeah.

So there is

a heavy metal band called K9s where the lead singer is a dog.

So it's just these guys with long hair who go on stage and go,

and the dog just barks.

And that's the show.

And

I think there's one with a falcon where it's just that, but a falcon screeches.

I love that the animals don't know that they're in a band.

Yeah, yeah.

The animals, I mean, you wonder how many of them start off doing it for a treat, and how many of them end up doing it because they just love being adored by millions of fans across the country.

I think dogs love having jobs.

I think that too.

I think dogs are a very job-focused animal leading.

metal band.

Yeah, they're like, I guess falcons do too.

I guess falcons, you know, like to get something and then land on your little glove.

Sure.

Yeah.

Who's the laziest animal?

Probably a pigeon, right?

You can't get a pigeon to do shit.

No, that's not true.

They will home.

You can home a pigeon.

They'll home, yeah.

You can't.

I mean, is a sloth one?

I honestly think they're not lazy.

I think they're working really hard, but unfortunately, they are slow.

They just have challenges.

They just have natural challenges.

They are the ADHD kids of the animal kingdom.

I guess what I'm asking

is who's the most unemployable animal?

Oh.

Like who, you know, they show up for a job interview and you're just like, I don't know if this guy.

Snail.

Snail, yeah.

Snail can't really do shit.

Although.

Tasmanian devil?

Yeah.

Yes.

I'm assuming they act like the Warner Brothers tag.

Yeah, I've never actually seen one.

Yeah, he can't get anything done.

Yeah.

He's always turning into a, what do you call them?

Tornado?

Yeah, that's right.

Hard to restock the shelves at Costco when you're swirling around, spitting everywhere.

But I want to challenge you, Matt,

to maybe in the future find maybe another animal sound that makes something rock.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

After hearing this bees thing, I'm inspired because I'll tell you, I don't know why, but that colony of bees doing Miley Cyrus is the funniest thing I've heard.

Well, here's another idea that maybe at the end of this, we can do that little

clip of Party in the USA with the bees, but then also do it with Godzilla and compare and let's see what we think.

We can always try it out.

Yeah, what if the bees beat Godzilla?

Dude, then we have to start doing more movies about bees.

Yeah, that's what Bees and Macaulay Culkin from My Girl have to do.

Oh, shit, we'll have to start doing My Girl.

I saw Macaulay Culkin last night.

Oh, shit.

How's he doing?

He looks great.

He was at Foreman's Bar in Toluca Lake.

Cool.

Hell yeah.

It's a fun place to hang out.

Good for him.

Yeah.

Well, hey,

speaking of hanging out, we're about to hang out on the planet Arrakis.

The gang from Dune.

So, yeah, let's check it.

So, Matt, we know

you've read the original Dune book.

Emily, have you read any of these?

Have you seen the reboots?

I've seen the reboots.

I have not read any of those.

Those are pretty intimidating books.

Yeah, they're huge books.

And I, you know, as a, when you were growing up a nerd, people shove things at you constantly during birthdays.

With me, it was Lord of the Rings and Dune, and I never liked any of these.

They're just too huge.

It's like, it's like, it took me a while to appreciate hard sci-fi and fantasy.

I like them now, but I did not like them as kids.

Yeah, so I had not ingested any Dune media until I kind of like got interested in David Lynch in my 20s.

I'm like, oh, watch Dune.

And yeah, so I've seen this movie a couple of times.

And I've seen the reboots, which I like, but like, I admire them more than I love them.

You know, they're very beautiful and cool, but they're kind of cold.

So anyway, that's

this was my first time seeing the David Lynch one.

Oh, cool.

And I got to say, I was shocked at how much I loved it.

Yeah.

People, I mean,

it has a reputation of being a bad movie.

And so I think that's why I avoid it for so long.

It is not a bad movie.

It is not a bad thing.

It's like an insane movie with problems, but it's not bad.

That's a great way to describe it.

Yeah, and in terms of like, you know, the time period, or, you know, it was made, came out, what, 1984?

84?

Just in terms of the practical effects, I was like, oh, I very much enjoy watching Dune with practical effects, you know?

Yeah.

It was, oh, I loved it.

I loved it.

Yeah, it's hard to believe that it was made by David Lynch.

It has more of a Terry Gilliam vibe for me.

100%.

Who I also love, but it's fun to me imagining him being frustrated on set.

Yeah.

Like, yeah.

God damn it.

You're the Lisan al-Ghaib.

God damn it.

You'll never ride the shy Halud.

Fix your heart.

Fix your heart and ride the Shy Halud.

I love his little cameo in it, too.

Me too.

Wait, Wynne.

Oh, yeah.

the guy.

He's one of the guys who is like, he has to abandon one of the spice mines at the very beginning because there's a shy halud showing up.

And he's like, but we can't.

It's got all the spice.

That was him.

That was him.

Yeah.

I love it.

I love it when he acts, especially in his own stuff, because David Lynch looks like a guy that David Lynch would cast in a David Lynch movie.

Yes, yes.

Like his one of one of the great, I mean, there are many things that are brilliant about David Lynch, but his casting is so good.

He finds the most compelling weirdos.

Yeah.

And yeah, like he is one of them.

He looks like a guy he would cast.

Yeah.

And I loved him in the Fablemans, his little thing in the Fablemans at the same time.

Oh, my

God.

It was, I didn't know he was going to be in it.

And I saw that in the theaters, and I like shrieked like a little girl.

I know.

That's it.

Massive respect for Steven Spielberg for casting David Lynch in that role.

It was perfect.

Perfect.

What's everybody's favorite David Lynch movie?

Mahal and Drive.

That's pretty tough.

I think that Wild at Heart is the one like right now.

Me too.

Me too.

Mother Heart is so great.

But I think Lost Highway sometimes, I'm like, God, that movie just stays with me in my brain.

But

I'm a Twin Peaks fan, and I think Fire Walk With Me has got to be number one.

You like Fire Walk With Me, okay?

I love it, and people think there's something very wrong with me that I like it

because it's so bleak.

I gotta say, this, this kind of

this might be my favorite David Lynch movie now.

No, no, okay.

I know, I know I'm we're doing ratings too early, but I'm just like, damn, I really was shocked at how much I enjoyed it.

Cool, cool.

I'm still yeah, well, let's talk about what actually happens in Dune.

All right, we get to first, I gotta play

Dune Sting Time, okay?

Yeah, I like Dune,

Dune, your mom.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Uh, fun, something for the folks at home to really appreciate the impact of that.

Matt recorded that.

He didn't just do it live, but Matt did that in advance.

I did.

I know.

I did it in advance.

Here's the thing.

I was like, I'm going to fuck up the timing.

So why don't I just record it in the studio, you know, turn up the.

Oh, you went to the studio?

I went to the studio.

I drove to Hollywood.

Wow.

Capital Records.

You went to the Capitol Records building.

That's right.

I was like, move over, Aerosmith, guys.

I got to record this.

I have a drop.

Phil Specter's going to produce it.

That's right.

That's right.

Racial wall sound, Matt.

Okay, well, yeah, let's talk about what happens in Dune.

We get a big old exposition dump from a space princess.

Boy, she's sure compelling.

I'm sure we'll find out a lot about her later.

We don't.

She's just kind of standing around in the background.

Anyway, she explains.

It is the year

10,191.

And in this world,

the most precious resource is spice, the spice melange.

And it grows on the planet Arrakis, also known as Dune.

This is a challenge for me.

It's like, can I explain the backstory of Dune?

Like, my job on this show is to summarize the movie.

Like, this is my greatest challenge yet.

What happens in Dune?

And also, fucking Dune, guys, don't get in my comments correcting me.

I'm sure there's a prequel book that explains this shit, and I didn't read it anyway.

Yeah, you don't need to read it.

Take a rest, Dune guys, in my comments.

Anyway, David Lynch did it for us, and he didn't want to do it either.

Yeah, so he kind of did it.

This is just a bunch of things.

Yeah, he filmed a bunch.

He certainly filmed a bunch of things.

Yeah.

So, okay, spice.

It's the most precious resource in the galaxy.

It's because it is used by the navigators.

They are these mutants who, when they ingest spice, it's like a drug.

They can use it to fold space and power like the space armies.

So as she's explaining this, she starts to fade away.

Like it's her silhouette.

You know, not her silhouette, but it's like her kind of top half floating in space.

She starts to fade away, and then she says, oh, I forgot.

And then she comes

back into focus.

It's the funniest thing.

I wish this movie had more gags like that.

It's so funny.

It starts with this kind of space ballsy kind of joke.

Anyway, and she explains the rest of the shit.

On Arrakis, there's a race of people called the Fremen, and they they think a Messiah is coming, but it's also like it's she's breaking the fourth wall.

Yep, because

she already knows everything.

And who's she talking to?

Who are we?

Are we in this world?

Like, it's kind of weird.

Yeah, I don't know.

Because it's like the opposite of a crawl.

Yeah, that's the thing.

They're doing the Star Wars crawl.

You can tell that this movie was very inspired by Star Wars, which is funny because Star Wars was very much inspired by, you know, Frank Herbert's Dune.

Yeah.

And so it starts off with like, oh, instead of just some text, we're going to get like a hot lady to talk about it.

Now, if you're a big Dune head, I'm sure you know who this lady is.

I do not.

She probably has a thousand-page book about her.

Yeah, I'm sure she's awesome.

Well, I think she's the Florence Pugh character.

Yeah, right.

That's right.

She's the Florence Pugh character.

She's got to be.

And it's interesting because, yeah, like some of the characters you see like little bits of in this movie, because the Villeneuve movies are, you know, they have six hours to tell this story.

You get some better backstory on some of these people.

And yeah,

she's one of them totally.

But, anyways,

so yeah, so she kind of gives us the big info dump, the Star Wars crawl.

We get the credits where I learned music by Toto.

I kind of forgot that about this.

Toto did the music to this.

No way.

I'm sure someone has done I Miss the Rains down in Aracas.

But if they have not, well, also, I dream of rain.

Oh, that's right.

Absolutely.

He's also here.

Yeah, I was like.

I love that he's in this.

It all comes together.

I know.

You think Sting was mad that Toto did the music?

I bet that he was, and that's why he did so many crunches.

Just anger crunches.

His cataps were insane in this movie.

So, okay, so

our opening scene, it's the Emperor of the Galaxy, and the Guild Navigator comes to visit him.

The Navigators are very cool looking.

They're big puppets.

They look like lungs with a little vagina in the middle.

Sure, do.

And we get to see them fly around a little bit later.

They have a big tail, big old practical puppet.

Looks really cool.

They kind of look like a grown-up eraser head baby.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

And I'm sure that's why they wanted David Lynch to do this, because those, you you know, early Lynch movies have all those weird puppets.

I learned Boning Up for this.

They wanted him to

direct Return of the Jedi, and he turned it down for this.

Can you imagine Return of the Jedi directed by David Lynch?

That would fucking wild.

Yeah, I'm trying to imagine if it would be good or too bleak.

Well, I'll tell you this much.

People shit on Return of the Jedi.

You had to be there to hate it, I think.

Whereas all of us come from a younger generation.

I love it.

That was like, yeah, it's my favorite Star Wars movie, but I think at the time it was like the Ewoks are for babies.

Right.

And I was like, that's fine.

I'm a baby.

No, I'm great.

I love those little guys.

Yeah, more bears.

Yup Nub.

Yeah, yup nub indeed.

Listen, if they have the Ewok movies become free with ads,

that'd be fun.

I loved those movies.

Keep that on the radar.

But yeah, I think David Lynch would have crushed Return of the Jedi, but I'm glad he did Dune.

I'm glad.

Me too.

Yeah.

So, yeah, so we get another.

Also, I should mention that the

Emperor of the Galaxy, he has kind of a.

His advisors are witches.

They're these kind of like bald women in these kind of crazy cloaks.

I think they're wearing the worst hat.

The worst hat.

It's kind of like a huge.

Kind of just this kind of like half dome that kind of their bald heads stick up from.

It's not that good.

It's a bad hat.

We learned a lot.

There's a lot of info dumps in this movie.

We learned that there's a feud between House Atreides and House Harkinen.

So it's kind of, you know, there's three planets that we're kind of following.

And on House Atreides, they're the good guys.

That's where Paul Atreides lives.

You can tell they're the good guys because they're so handsome and they're not doing evil laughs.

Yeah.

You can tell that they're not constantly sucking the nutrients out of animals.

Right, yeah.

You can tell that the Harkinen are bad because they're always killing people and pulling out people's heart plugs.

You know?

Yeah, yeah, that's a good, a good indicator that someone's bad.

I think this is probably the coldest take joke about Dune, but I think worth saying that, like, it is so funny in this far-off galaxy in the year 10,000, where everyone is named, like, Gurney Halcock and Fade Routha, the main guy's name is Paul.

Yeah.

Yeah, and one of his, you know, best friends is Duncan, Idaho.

Duncan, Idaho.

Oh, yeah.

Geez.

I know some weird, some weird name in here.

I got to say that, like, the, you know, how there's certain words that make me hungry and stuff.

I do know that.

I could taste some words.

Duncan is not a hard one to know what I want to eat.

Yeah, when you say Duncan, you want the donut.

I want the donut.

The powdered donut.

America runs on Duncan, Idaho.

But it's like, yeah,

Dune has weird names, and then George Lucas said, hold my beer.

anyway so Paul Atreides he's a space Jesus he's played by Kyle McLaughlin

and he

he we we've got the problem in this movie that he's the same age as his parents so I think this qualifies him as the oldest teen

You don't know how old the character is supposed to be?

Anyway, he's the same age as his mom, and he has better sexual chemistry with her than she has with him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is why I think Shalamay, although I did really like Kyle McLaughlin's performance, Salamay worked

as Paul Atreides because he forever looks like a little boy.

Yeah, he looks like a child.

Whereas like Kyle just he looked like a man.

Even when he was young, he looked like a man.

Yeah, he always looks like a used car salesman.

Well, can we talk a little bit about how

there's a lot of conversation that is happening

like in people's minds?

like and it's and it's always whispered and i'm like are you afraid of people hearing your inside thoughts so you're whispering it it was so frustrating some people are psychic in this movie i think paulatrides is psychic it's one of the unclear things in this movie is right the internal monologue stuff is weird and confusing but the whispering it was like a big asmr video like the whole movie

and i gotta say the whispering is my biggest complaint.

It was, it made my sensitive

crawl.

I don't like ASMR shit, so I was just like,

quit whispering so much.

I don't like it.

Yeah, there was also this thing where, like,

if it had happened occasionally, it would be okay, but for the most part, it was just a way to, like, shoehorn in more expository monologue.

You know, it was just like, here's more exposition.

And I was like, you can, you don't have to, you know, show, don't don't tell that's what I was yeah there was a lot of I think the the main thing is this move this story is so full of information yeah that he had to figure out a way to just get the information out there like in the small amount of time that he had but the whispering drove me nuts because I'm like no one can hear you yeah right yeah so the audience and also like if someone's psychic if you whisper your thoughts they could probably still hear your thoughts they could still exactly so i'm i'm just like but if i I had inner thoughts, like mine are just like screaming.

And I'm like,

I mean, Leah, like human thoughts.

And again, I don't know what others are like, but I like when in a movie where people are just thinking a complete sentence, like, I feel like the human brain is like, hungry, hungry, dog, dog was

last night.

It's like,

picture, picture, weird, weird.

Should I shower?

You know, eat chicken, love mama, am horny.

Sure.

You're an idiot.

Too hot.

Change socks.

New career.

New career.

Too hot.

Change socks.

Kill self.

New career.

Eat food.

More chicken.

Kill self?

More chicken.

Listen, I'm just saying.

What's Arizona like?

Yeah.

It's just stuff.

Anyway, but people just do perfect exposition.

Abandoned family?

Eat chicken.

A lot of chicken in there, Matt.

A lot of intrusive thoughts.

Yeah.

So these are the good guys.

Paul Atreides.

He does

a lot of training in this movie.

He trains.

He does a little kind of fake fight with Patrick Stewart.

Patrick Stewart is his like young Stewart is his kind of trainer guy.

They put up these shields, these like digital shields, where they look like

this specific video game reference here, but they look like the bad guys in Virtua cop.

They just look like these little polygon blocks from 1992.

I loved that.

I thought it looks so cool.

It does look cool.

I like it too.

In this case, I think that the janky digital effect is better than the good CGI one in the new movies.

I'm like, this is cooler and weirder.

Yeah.

I like it because

it's a choice.

It's like a decision has to be made, a stylistic decision, because I can't, you know,

given the technology, they would have done the shields the same way that

they did in the more recent reboots.

But it's like, instead, he's like, no, let's make them so you can barely see see them and it'll just be two blocks stabbing at each other.

Right.

Yeah, it looks cool.

Interesting is everything

in this movie looks very like there's crown molding on a spaceship wall.

Like, why is that?

So it kind of looks like it's, I don't know, like Baroque or something.

And then there's, it's also like this slate gray metal looking walls.

So when this was this like angular, like geometric cubes against like their

basically their naval officer pirate looking outfits, it just kind of looks cool, the contrast.

Yeah, it does look really cool.

And yeah, and this movie really makes you appreciate

like how much care goes into building

a legit movie set, especially something that is like sci-fi.

Because

watching this, I need to re-watch the new Dune because I remember being really impressed with with the New Dune, but also what you're being impressed with is how good the technology has gotten to make things look like real spaceship or real wall.

You know, instead, it was David Lynch, he's out there, his weird ass, and a bunch of other weirdos building spaceships and walls.

Good for them.

Love them.

You guys, I'm so excited.

I said Baroque, and I was like, I don't know if that's right.

No, that was right.

It's exactly what was in my brain.

Congratulations.

Way Way to go.

I have a degree in arts.

God bless.

Thank you.

Beautiful.

College tuition, well spent.

For one reference in the Dune episode.

Yeah, I like Dune.

Dune, the correct reference.

Yeah.

Now, that was live.

You did that one.

I did that one live.

No big deal.

One take.

Okay, so

that's what's going on with the good guys.

We also have the scene where he, like, the witch has him put his hand in the box and he says, I'm, I must not fear.

fear is the little mind killer fear is the little death that brings total oblivion uh total uh obliteration excuse me that's right um

i think the scene in the newer dune was better of this one yeah i mean it was definitely it was definitely also very good but i was just i i think i was just impressed with how good it was in this one i yeah you know like because it is a strange scene to you know

credit where credit is due to the new one they didn't show his hand melting like they did in this one but watching the hand melt i was like that's cool they did a good job

that is you're very you're very right yeah i will say that i think a strong strong part of the new ones is like how they go into like the culture of these witches like it is really cool and fascinating and obviously it you know it had some great backstory and like you know you just can't show all that shit in this movie that is still pretty long at two hours but yeah i feel like the like the like story of the witches and all their powers is like really cool in the new dude.

Yeah, I liked in the new one, there's a lot more stuff about his mother, and I find her character in the new ones to be the most fascinating.

Yeah, she's great, and then they have those like nuns that milk the worms.

Yeah, there's just like so much rad shit with them.

Nuns that milk the worms, so that's something

I'm gonna Google later on.

Maybe you know what I mean.

Gotta get a nun to milk the worms.

Yeah, I like doing

two chicks at the same time.

That had nothing to do with worm milking.

I know, I just, you know, as slimy.

Okay, so we, so, you know, that's what's going on with the good guys.

And then we go to the evil guys, the Harkinens.

This is the David Lynch shit.

So, like, the Paul Atreides shit in this movie can be a little tedious, can be a little boring.

Everything with the bad guys fucking rules.

Every scene with them is so cool and weird and gross.

I was trying to eat, though.

Like, I was,

yeah, cannot eat watching this movie.

Can I?

No, I'm too many gross spores and

boils on people.

Lots of pus.

Cover Covered up.

Lots of pus.

It was gross.

Monsters and pussy monsters.

Those didn't gross me out for some reason.

Milking worms.

Milking worms.

Yeah, it was just our main baddie and his

boils and stuff.

Yeah, he's disgusting.

He's always having surgery done on him.

And what is it doing?

I don't think it's making anything better.

Who knows?

Yeah.

It's just picking scabs.

He just has a doctor there to pick his fucking face scabs.

So gross.

And then

his nephews come in.

Fade and Raban.

One of the nephews, Fade is played by Sting.

He's wearing the biggest cod piece this side of Labyrinth.

Looking good.

He does not have a lot to say in this movie.

He just does a lot of grimacing and glowering.

He does scary rules.

He does.

He literally

repeats the same line over and over, which is, I will kill you.

I will kill him.

I will kill him.

I'm going to kill him.

I will kill him.

And it's like eight different versions of that and not much else and very very homoerotic i would say oh yeah oh yeah um between our big baddie and his nephew that's his nephew yeah

a lot of uncle on uncle on nephew oggling yeah well i also think that like okay so nephew by marriage he's like nephew by marriage by marriage not by money that'd be weird that'd be weird as he's

doing his scabs i'm not weird he's like he's like this isn't any of that white lotus shit yeah yeah this is not that weird so this is like, whatever.

But I will say, I would never jack off my brother.

Yeah.

No, you gotta be fucked up.

He just keeps saying that.

But I will say that

Sting's like abs in this.

I feel like Brad Pitt referenced this for his fight club.

Like,

everybody says that, like, every dude who goes into training, like, all these trainers, there's like people who go, what's the number one body that dudes asked to achieve?

And they all want the lean

fight club fight club but i'm like uh

sting did it first

he's buff i mean yeah yeah yeah he was he was marvel buff before marvel you know this is a very he's very defined he was goonin before goonen was a thing this guy invented edging yeah well oh yeah that's true is that what goon gooning is i think gooning is just a very long masturbation session whereas like edging is what part of gooning because otherwise

tantric sex is what apparently Sting is into.

Yeah, right.

He obviously does it in a way that's like religious or whatever.

But I love it.

I love it.

That just a joke you could make is it takes the bass player from the police a long time to come.

And people just know that.

Like, hey, I know the reference.

It takes Sting a long time to come.

We all know that.

Yeah, yeah.

It's just a truism.

Like, Godzilla makes music better, and it takes the bass player from the police a long time to come.

Yeah, it's like one of three celebrity stories.

Like, if you say, you know, Gerbil and Richard Gere, or if you say,

you know, Rod Stewart and Stomach Pump.

Yeah.

So, yeah, Baron Harkonn,

he's like a gross guy.

His skin's always falling off.

Also, he has an anti-gravity suit, and he just flies around.

It's so funny.

I just love it.

It's so funny.

It's so funny.

And they don't really do that in the new one.

He's like picked up by a machine, isn't he?

Yeah, yeah.

It's definitely like, in this case, like the cheesy special effect is so much better.

I like it a lot.

Yeah.

He's got that Willy Wonka fizzy lifting drink thing, though.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's kind of that.

So, yeah, the Harkonnens, they attack House Atreides.

There's this great shot of Patrick Stewart leading the troops into battle, and he's holding a little pug.

He's holding a little pug that, like, the queen has, and he just yells, Long live Duke Leto, and he just charges into battle holding this pug.

It's like one of the greatest shots in the history of movies.

That pug, there is a moment, it's at the one hour, five-minute, 30-second mark where the pug is running away by itself, like up the stairs from an explosion.

Right.

And I was like, oh, good, the pug's okay.

Yeah, the dog lives.

The dog's fine.

There's also a moment, we're talking about animals in David Lynch's Dune,

where,

okay, so, you know, the Baron, Harkinen,

brings in a cat tied

to it's like a Sphinx cat, taped

to a rat.

I believe it is taped.

I believe, like, with all the future technology of this movie, I believe the cat was taped to the rat.

It was taped to the rat.

And it had something to do with, like, if this cat doesn't get milked in time, you die.

I remember.

They do not explain that or show.

And

in an earlier scene, there's a cow.

There's an upside-down cow that people are poking tubes into.

I mean, I think this movie was edited to shit.

Yes, obviously.

Like, and I think David Lynch famously does not like the edit of this movie.

What was the explanation for anything?

Yeah.

Maybe there wasn't.

Maybe this, yeah.

Dean loves to do its thing and milk stuff.

We're milking worms.

That's true.

We're milking cats.

Everything can be milked.

Everything gets milked.

Everything's full of delicious milk.

I've got nipples.

Can you milk me?

That's it.

Oh, hello.

Listen.

That was the first thought I had when he was like, you got to milk this cat.

And I was like, oh, my God, meet the parents.

Meet the parents.

I have nipples.

Greg, can you milk me?

Men in black.

Yeah.

Yeah, baby.

Austin Powers.

Austin Powers.

Men in black.

I'm the baby.

You got to love me.

Dinosaurs.

Smoking.

Men in black.

I want to hear the most annoying sound in the world.

Dumb and dumber.

A lot of funny movies.

I love references.

Oh, me too.

They're the the best.

Because I know them.

The thing about references, I know them.

I know them.

I know them.

I like a really broad pull that everyone can get over.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, baby.

Yeah, baby.

My wife.

Victory is mine.

Yes.

Damn you, Lois.

Dough.

Dough.

Anyway, dope.

Anyway,

let's talk more about Dune.

So, you know,

Paul and his girlfriend mom are escaping.

They crash land on Arrakis and they meet the Fremen.

Okay.

It is so appropriate that Toto does the music of this movie because all of the Fremen look like they're from a yacht rock band.

You can put the lyrics of any yacht rock song underneath still of any Fremen from this movie, and you would think that is who sung those lyrics.

Everybody here looks like they're about to sing about no strings attached sex in a falsetto.

Yes.

Like, it's an an army full of these guys.

They all look like studio musicians for Christopher Cross.

Yeah, yes, absolutely.

And they're great too.

You know, it's like,

I like the way they did the Fremen because it's like, you know, it's kind of the classic, iconic blue eyes thing that you saw, you know, and you wondered how they were going to do it for the reboots.

But watching it, it wasn't as corny as I thought it was going to be because I'd only ever really seen stills.

And I was like, they all have cool.

Yeah, they all have the the idea is that the spice on the planet gives you these piercing blue eyes.

They all have these kind of like, yeah, special effect blue eyes.

And they look really cool and spooky.

Is there something about how spice makes you like an addict or something?

Well, it's got like neurotropic, like added, like, it's kind of a psychedelic drug as well as being space fuel, which is

just an interesting thing.

It has all these like different functions.

But yes,

you can get addicted to it.

And in more ways than one, either physically addicted to it or

reliant on it for space travel.

I just figured like once your eyes are blue, you are like addicted to space.

Yeah, you're super baked.

And you can't leave.

You can't leave Dune.

You have to stay on Dune the whole time.

Or else everyone will think you're weird.

Oh, if I leave Dune, people will think I'm

I'm weird.

So, yeah, he, so, you know, Paul, the Fremen, like, they, they admire their fighting style.

They call it weirding.

They, uh, I guess

Paul's people, I don't really understand this.

They, like, fight with words.

They, like, use words as like,

uh,

you know, the words to shoot lasers.

I don't know.

They have word bullets, but they also seem to have actual bullets.

They're like, teach us your weirding ways.

And he's like, ah, and then shoots a gun.

And I was like, well.

Yeah, he goes, what's your strongest stone?

And they brought it out.

It was beautiful.

It was like the shape of a pyramid.

And he just blew it up.

And it was like, what the fuck?

Right.

Yeah.

We really liked that.

Strongest stone, but also one that you're not attached to.

Our forefathers brought that over from the old country.

I wish you had told us you were going to destroy it.

Oh, wait, I have this one that's in the shape of a Confederate soldier.

Can you blow this one up?

Oh, wow.

Brandy, you will find out

one thing to another.

When you get caught between the moon and your

city.

What the fuck is happening?

These are the Fremen singing their sacred songs.

Oh.

Whoa, here she comes.

She's a man-eater.

She

have a place in his life.

Ooh, very nice.

Thank you.

Take it to the tree.

Anyway, how many young references do we know?

Not that many more.

References, we know of.

References.

Did you just flashy thing me?

Men in black.

Ah, good movie.

Anyway,

so

Paul's training the Fremen.

He meets Chani.

She's the like hot Fremen lady.

Margot.

It's Margot.

No, no, that's Sean Young.

Oh, sorry.

That's right.

Sean Young.

I get them confused a lot.

That's right.

Sean Young, who I knew mostly as the lady from Ace Ventura Petit.

Ace Ventura, yeah.

I knew her from Blade Runner.

And that.

Later that.

But also as the person who lost her mind and dressed up in a Catwoman suit to try to convince, was it Tim Burton or somebody

to cast her as Catwoman?

Yeah, she had a famous campaign to play Catwoman that did not work out.

You know what?

I was thinking that too, and

I've decided, because in my head, I was always just like, oh, yeah, Sean Young, she was always doing that,

you know, that weird thing.

Now, looking back as an adult, I'm like, bet you she was in the right.

Bet you, whatever the hell was going on behind the scenes was way worse than anything she did.

I say justice for Sean.

Justice for Sean Young.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I also think that, like,

you know, you want something bad enough.

People go, put yourself out there, take risks.

And she did.

And it was like, you know, I don't think it's, I think it's the whole breaking into someone's office thing that was kind of.

Yeah, but I mean, like, listen.

You think that's the first time someone in Hollywood had broken into someone's office?

Nah.

It's very true.

They smeared her.

That's what I say.

I base that on absolutely nothing other than knowing Hollywood is evil.

Fair enough.

Fair enough.

Justice for Sean Young.

That's right.

So Paul, he's like trying to become the leader of the Fremen.

The kind of final step is to ride the sandworm, the shy hallude.

So they like attract it with these kind of thumper things that create vibrations in the sand.

The worm comes along, puts a big hook in it, rides it.

Now, we mentioned the music in this movie, done by Toto.

Pretty fucking forgettable, other than this one guitar riff that kicks in while he's riding the sandworm.

The music in this movie is very generic, other than this, which I think fucking rules.

So imagine, you know, him riding the sandworm while this kicks in.

Yeah, there it is.

Pretty cool.

Yeah.

Oh, so fucking sick.

It rules.

Yeah.

Put the bees in there.

Yeah, Godzilla made it better.

You're right.

Godzilla made it better.

Honestly, it kind of sounded like it had bees.

Yeah.

So

he's the leader of the Fremen now, and he's in love with Chani.

That just happens.

We don't learn anything about her.

She just, and they're in love.

Because, you know, it's in the book.

I think that another just points for the new ones.

I think that the relationship between him and Johnny in the movie is great.

They do a great job with it.

Yeah, yeah.

So yeah, but we get another just crazy info dump from the space princess of just like everything that happens in the middle of the story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love that so much because they're like, okay, so this movie can't actually be five hours long.

Yeah.

It can't?

You told me that

it was

stuff.

Oh, I love that.

I got to read the weather on the radio.

Oh, wait.

Have we mentioned that

Paul's mom is pregnant with his sister?

Yes.

No, we haven't mentioned it, but

you should probably mention that because it turns into my favorite part of the movie.

Yeah.

Paul's mom is pregnant.

We see some like internal shots of the baby in the womb, which we also get in the new ones.

I love the little like nods to this movie in the new ones.

Yes, same.

It's like they're both, you know,

it does seem like the new ones aren't ashamed of this movie, and I think that that's cool.

And I think the weird internal womb cam is a great little nod to this movie.

It's like, yeah, that doesn't have to happen, but he's just like, we got to show the baby in the womb.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was, it was great.

And I agree with you that that there is something about the new movies that

they are pulling a lot from David Lynch's Dune.

And

I respect the respect that that shows.

Totally.

So yeah,

this baby

is growing in mom.

We get the kind of like

kind of rapid montage of all the Fremen kicking ass, blowing up all the spice mines.

And the grand conclusion is nigh.

We'll talk about it it soon after this.

You know, we've been doing my brother, my brother, me for 15 years, and

maybe you stopped listening for a while, maybe you never listened, and you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years.

I know where this has ended up.

But no, no, you would be wrong.

We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works.

The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on my brother, my brother, and me.

We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening.

And if not, we just leave it out back and goes rotten.

So check it out on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

We're back.

It's free with ads.

We're talking about the epic conclusion of Dune.

Yes, as Emily mentioned, Paul's mom is pregnant.

The sister is born.

We don't really see her get born, but we see her and she's like eight.

I don't know how, if you're a Messiah baby, maybe you just grow up fast.

Maybe that's how long the war has been going, going.

I don't don't know.

I don't know.

But we do know that she

receives all of the information and powers of like a whatever head witch while she's in the womb.

So she's like...

Benny Gesserit.

Yes.

So she's like a super child or something.

Yes.

She's like, and they have this like little eight-year-old kid

dressed in these like ceremonial robes.

She just walks into like the emperor's chamber by herself.

She has blue eyes and she's talking in this dubbed voice that then turns into this crazy voice.

She talks like this eventually.

I love just any

scene where a kid goes somewhere by themselves, like an unaccompanied kid, is kind of funny to me.

Everything was funny because also this kid was kind of half laughing during this whole thing.

The kid is very cute.

And it like made it so funny.

Like I don't know.

It's like she's killing people and like causing them pain.

And she's kind of like, hey, hey, like it is.

Yeah.

So she like, she like pulls in Baron Harkinen with her like hypno voice.

She like cuts his throat and she like pulls out his

nipple clamps.

Yeah,

some sort of tube or clamp that's attached to him.

He goes like flying around like you let the air out of a balloon and he flies right into the sandworm's mouth.

It's so funny, yeah.

Um, and then she's just like standing there, like with a knife in the air, like laughing.

It's another one of like the greatest shots in movies, just this little kid holding this knife.

Oh, yeah, she's holding that knife.

By the way, um, it's Alicia Witt is the name of the actress.

And if you've seen Long Legs, she is the creepy mom from

fun, fun, fun, fun.

How about that?

She's also in Twin Peaks, so

yeah.

So

that happens.

Fremen,

the Fremen kind of like take over the palace.

There's like this final battle between Sting and Paul.

Paul stabs him up through the head.

It's a really cool, like a lot gorier than you think this would be.

Very cool effect.

And then it starts to rain.

It rains on Arrakis.

That's right.

And then the little girl is like, it rains.

He's

Kwizad Chowder Rock.

That's right.

Which I guess is some sort of super.

Yeah,

he's the one.

Yeah, and then we get some shots of the ocean with some fucking smooth-ass Toto-ass music playing.

Yeah, so sick.

That's Dune, and that's Dune.

That's Dune.

Yeah,

let's go around and talk about the Hunk Watch.

Oh.

You will play Hunk Watch.

Play the Stings.

The sleeper has awakened, and he is playing the Stings.

I must not sting.

Sting is the little mind killer.

Sting is the little death that brings total obliteration.

I don't have a

so I think, you know, we've mentioned Kyle McLaughlin, obviously, a hunk MVP of

Free with Ads.

Yes.

I don't have a ton of other opinions, a lot of hunks in this movie.

Young Patrick Stewart, hubba, hubba.

I was thinking that as well.

He's one of them, but I got to give it to Sting for this one, baby.

Hard not to.

Hard not to.

I dream of pain, yay, yay.

Sure, yes.

Fucking hurt me.

Yeah, because it goes on for longer than this movie.

Honestly, you got to use water bass, Lube, when hanging out with Sting.

It's going to be a water bass.

It takes the bass player from the police a long time to get it.

So I guess gooning is all the dudes I've ever slept with who were alcoholics.

Yes,

they take forever.

They take forever.

They're edging, but not of their own accord.

No, they would like to finish.

Yes,

they would like to.

Listen, we've all been there, and sometimes, as a man, you got to fake it just because you're like, well, no one's enjoying this now.

Y'all can't fake it.

You can if

you really prefer it.

Listen, with a little water and a little borax.

That's right.

A handful of borax.

Matt, do you have have any hunk watch opinions?

We have not seen that.

Yes, my hunk watch is the actor who played Peter

DeVries.

This was one of the

Harkinen guys, the one who ends up dying from the poison tooth, you know.

He's an actor named Brad Duriff.

You might know him as Grima Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings.

He plays,

you know, he is just like one of these character actors who's fucking dope in everything.

He's Chucky.

Is he Chucky?

He's the voice of Chucky.

That's great.

Wait, is he really?

Yes, he is.

Get the fuck out of here.

He is.

Yeah.

See, I didn't even know that.

That is crazy.

He's just one of these guys who is like, he is always in

like a bit part in something, but he's so good in it that you're just like...

You're right about Hunky because he is Hunky because of how talented he is.

He's also not a bad-looking guy no he's not a bad-looking guy but he always kind of plays like a i don't know um

a servile hunching um

like someone who like like gloms onto the powerful guy you're so right and he's just so good at it that you're just like can is there a special oscar we could give to this guy

for glomming yeah he's so good at gloming gooning and glomming that's what he's doing

um i have a thing Whenever I see him, I remember this movie that I saw that I used to think was a fever dream.

It was on sci-fi channel, and he plays this guy that pretty much just,

you know, the whole thing, spontaneous combustion, how we were all scared about that as kids.

And he's this guy who can't stop spontaneously combusting.

I don't know this, but that sounds

incredible.

It might also be a fever dream, just like my Bernadette Peter hand like poster.

But if somebody knows.

I thought that ended up being real.

I thought we got some emails.

No, no, no.

We got emails about your movie.

We did get emails about ants.

People tried.

There was one poster.

Oh, yeah, there it is.

Yeah, in 1990, Spontaneous Combustion.

Oh, it's what it was called?

Brad Duriff in Spontaneous Combustion.

That's pretty one-to-one.

Mystery Solved.

A Tob Hooper film.

It is horrible.

Tob.

D-O-B-E.

That's the name.

I think it's Toby Hooper, Hooper, who directed Chexas Chainsaw Massacre.

Oh, is that right?

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

He made a lot of weird stuff later in his career.

I just love the idea of Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn't weird, but if he was Tobe.

Tobey name.

Yeah, but Brad Jorriff has been in a bunch of shit.

I know him from Deadwood mostly

and Lord of the Rings, but I just started seeing him in everything.

I watched Mississippi is Burning, and he plays like the evil cop in that.

I just found out

he's all of fucking Chucky.

I mean, God bless this man.

What a career.

What a career.

Well, yeah, that was the hunk watch, and we're going to rank the movie on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials when we come back.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no.

It's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper.

And on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

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It's free with ads.

We're going to rank Dune in 1984.

Yeah, that was the year this came out.

We're going to rank this movie on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials.

Yeah, maybe

I'll think I'll set us up to go what I think will probably be low to high.

I am going to give this movie an 8.

I think it is really cool.

I do think that you, like, if you've heard it's bad, like I heard it was bad my whole life and like kind of stayed away from it.

You should totally watch it.

It's like...

It's a weird mess.

It was obviously edited to hell.

You know, it is in a genre that,

you know, maybe David Lynch isn't super suited for, but like, it's super compelling.

A lot of it's really cool.

Yeah, and like the villain stuff just fucking rules.

All the villain stuff is so, so cool and great.

And yeah, and if you like, liked the new ones and you're like, oh, maybe I won't watch the Lynch one.

No, like, I think you should.

I think they're great, like, to watch together.

Yeah, I really like this movie.

I've watched it before.

I'll fucking watch it again.

Matt, first timer, what'd you think?

I don't know if I've done this before, but I'm giving this a tippy 10.

This is a tippy 10 for me.

Okay.

I think you've done an 11 on the show before.

Did I do an 11 for 12?

I think you did an 11 for.

Was it Godfather?

No.

What was it?

It was, oh, Death Becomes Her.

I think you gave it.

Oh, yeah.

Let us know.

Whoever keeps our wiki, we don't have one, I don't think.

Yeah, yeah.

But one day we'll be popular enough to have a wiki.

Yeah, that's right.

I will say,

I very much love this movie.

I give it a tippy 10.

I would watch it again.

I would watch it twice in a row, just like I'm watching Dune Part 1 and 2.

I'm like.

Wow.

Check it out.

All right.

Emily, last word?

I really enjoyed it.

The whispering was tough for me.

I don't know why.

It's weird.

It's like, I don't know if it's just some sensation thing where it was just kind of bugging me, but I did love it.

I really loved it.

I remember this line that

as he was becoming the worm man, as Paul was like, he drank the water of life or whatever, and he was like, I'm traveling without moving.

And I was like, that's all I want to do.

I would travel.

You got to drink the water of life.

You got to

milk it.

If I didn't have to move.

I thought that was great.

I like it.

I think I'm going to give it a 7.5.

Okay, fair enough.

That's good.

Good rating.

Yeah, thank you.

Well, yeah, that is Dune.

Oh, this is kind of cool.

By the way, I guess they tried to make this movie in the 70s with Alejandro Yodorowski, who's kind of a David Lynchy art filmmaker.

I've actually never seen one of his movies.

Holy Mountain.

I would love to watch one of those for the show sometime.

I've never seen it.

And I can't just watch anything without doing content about it.

Yeah, what's the point of watching something and just having your thoughts when you can monetize them?

Must create content.

Anyway, there's a documentary about his failed attempt to make this movie called Yodorowski's Dune, also free with ads.

I watched it after I put on the movie.

Really?

It's fascinating.

Yeah, totally a fun watch if you're interested in how movies get made and fall apart and stuff.

Very cool watch.

Yodorowski's Dune.

Okay,

personal plugs.

Hey,

I'm going to be doing some book events coming up celebrating Godzilla vs.

LA, the new for-charity comic book that I contributed to.

Coming to stores on April 30th.

On April 26th, I'm going to be at the Peninsula Libraries Comic and Arts Festival.

That's at the Library Parks and Recreation Center in South San Francisco.

On the 30th, I'm going to be at Collector's Paradise in North Hollywood, 5 to 7.

On May 2nd, I will be at Litfest in the Dina at Pasadena Presbyterian Church, 6.30 to 7.30.

On May 3rd, my birthday, I'll be at Things from Another World at Universal City Walk, 2 to 4 p.m.

And on May 10th, I will be at Mission Comics in San Francisco.

So please come out to one of those.

And then get Godzilla versus LA, wherever you get your comics.

Emily, anything?

I'm doing stand-up at the Broadwater Theater on May 24th.

It's a 7 p.m.

show.

If you'd like to come see me, do stand-up here in Los Angeles.

I am doing that May 24th, 7 p.m.

Broadwater Theater.

Matt, what do you got?

So once again, I am going to be doing Cobbs Comedy Club on Wednesday, May 7th in San Francisco.

So please tell all your friends about it.

And you should also come.

Cobbs Comedy Club.

It's going to be really fun.

Me and my wife go headlining.

But also,

I figured I should let it be known that my wife and I do a monthly showcase at the Ice House in Pasadena.

Hey!

Usually, yeah, it's like usually the fourth Wednesday of the month.

So this month it'll be April 23rd, which is tomorrow.

If, you know, based on when this episode comes out.

So please, if you're in Pasadena or in the LA area and you want to see some stand-up, come to New World Disorder at the Ice House in Pasadena.

All right.

Hey, listen.

Sounds like if you're in the LA area, you don't come to one of these things.

You're a fucking asshole.

You're a fucking asshole.

You're a fucking asshole.

You're going to have to milk this cat or you're going to have to milk this cat that's taped to a rat.

To a rat somehow for some reason.

No one will explain it.

It'll go unexplained.

Tune in next week when our movie will be The Talented Mr.

Ripley.

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