Valley Girl, with Alison Rosen

This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asked the question: why pay Netflix eight bucks a month to watch stranger things when you can go online and get your 80s nostalgia for free in a movie that might not have brain-eating monsters, but does have something much scarier?

Guys with popped collars.

I'm Jordan Morris.

Oh no, and I'm Evely Fleming.

Today's movie is the 80s classic Valley Girl, which is the perfect movie for people who love vibes and hate plot.

With us, as always, is super producer Matt hitting us with those silky smooth drops.

I loved that show.

I may have watched the wrong thing.

Oh, you watched Sweet Valley High?

I watched every episode of Sweet Valley High thinking that's what we were doing.

Oh, how much time did you sink into that?

Oh, man, it took me at least 15 minutes.

I watch everything on 4X.

Oh, okay, so that's not too bad.

It's called content maxing.

That way I get all the content real fast.

Oof, yeah.

I wonder if any of the Sweet Valley hi-heads are going to be here popping off.

Oh, yeah.

They're going to be like, oh, excuse me?

Well, if you listen to it on 4X, there's technically 200 episodes of the series, and that would be a total of...

Yeah.

I know someone's going to yell at me.

Go off.

Go off.

Go off, go off, Sweet Valley Kings.

And hey, this is cool.

Very cool, in fact.

Joining us today is one of the finest podcasters in the game and a resident of the San Fernando Valley where this movie takes place.

It's Allison Rosen.

Hi, Allison.

It's such a treat to be here.

I did mention to some of my Patreon people that I was going to be doing this episode, and their reaction was like, Oh my God, I love a podcast crossover.

Oh, yeah.

So

they love your podcast.

And by the way,

I am a Sweet Valley head.

Wow.

Like, and the books,

the TV show the books

right so i think i can yell at you with more gravitas

yeah totally yeah i mean you can i didn't know they were based on books oh my god matt were you never a young girl i was never i my sister was uh but she was more of like a nancy drew head

okay sure do you Do you even know, do you even know what the Sweet Valley High books or show is about?

Like, who the characters are?

It's not a murder mystery.

No, not so much.

It should be.

There should be, you know, it should be about like these cool girls who are investigating murder.

You're thinking of pretty little liars.

That's what I'm saying.

I was a boxcar children kid.

I was a big children.

I was too.

Boxcar kids at Babysitters Club, but I dabbled in a Sweet Valley High.

Yeah, it's about two twins, Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield.

They look identical, but they're as different as night and day.

Jessica's wild and reckless.

Elizabeth is buttoned up.

They are exactly, they're both perfect size six.

They wear gold lavalier necklaces.

They share a fiat, and they're identical, but Elizabeth has a freckle on her left

wrist, and she wears a watch.

Jessica runs on Jessica Standard Time.

Wow.

Guarantee.

Every book.

Around, I don't remember, maybe page two, three, four would kind of go into the spiel.

Someone gets murdered.

And then someone gets murdered.

We're already talking to you.

Which one was it?

We're already talking to our wonderful guests, but because we have stings on this show, people love the stings.

Just for, for the, for the sake of, for the sake of rhythm and tradition.

You know that

I love a sting.

I fucking love it.

Arguably, we are maybe lifting some of our

sting energy from you.

Absolutely.

Oh,

I invented stings.

I don't know if you guys know the first sting.

Because we are talking to our lovely guests, we are going to continue with a segment we call Talk to Guest.

Talk to Guest.

Moving from the Sweet Valley High books,

I was something, but we could include this maybe in this chat.

Something I was interested in.

You have like kiddos who are now consuming media.

Yes.

Do you try and like share the media of your childhood with them?

Do you sit down and watch shows and movies that you liked as a kid?

Not really because Elliot has let me know that

vintage things make him feel awkward.

And

vintage things,

vintage things are anything

old.

Okay.

Ish.

So I think that is his blanket dislike dismissal of anything that I might have liked.

There was, I'm trying to remember what it was because there was something that I did share with him and he kept being like, this is really old, right?

And I said, yes.

It's like from when I was young.

But I, off the top of my head, I can't remember what it was, but I did, they did kind of go in and out of the room as Valley Girl was playing.

And I, and it was actually at some of the love scenes, and I was like, I wonder what's going to happen when they see what's on the TV, but then they never really

didn't clock it.

Do you know what the little kids are into right now, which is just horrifying?

Mr.

Beast.

Oh, so

they've been into Mr.

Beast for a while.

Both my seven-year-old and my five-year-old are talking about Squid Game,

which it's insane to me.

I didn't, I never watched it.

It's too upsetting to me, but I haven't watched it either, but it's like insanely dark, right?

It's like dark and satirical.

Yes, and disturbing and upsetting and twisted, but it's having it's enjoying a second life as like a meme clip thing for little kids.

And I guess it's on

Roblox a lot.

Okay.

Squid games on Roblox?

Yes.

And like Owen.

What a fun sentence.

Squid games on Roblox.

Of Roblox.

That would make sense to a person 10 years ago, right?

Owen, my five-year-old, he does a lot of Minecraft and he built the doll and the red light, green light situation.

I don't know.

All of this is to say I probably should be keeping a tighter, a shorter leash on them, but it's hard.

Listen, they're Rosens.

They're going to grow up right.

no matter what's right.

Filth and pornography you put in front of them.

Thank you.

Yeah, I've started them drinking because I figure better start at home.

Right, exactly.

That was a house.

Did we all have that house growing up?

Like where the parents are like, leave your keys and you can drink here and you'll sleep here and we'll all go to IHOP in the morning.

Like, right?

Did we all?

Do you remember the name of that family?

The Walkers.

They were in Topanga Canyon.

And I went there and I was smoking weed.

And then all of a sudden,

Rachel's mother came in.

And I was like, oh, no.

And she was like, it's fine.

And at first I was relieved, but then I was like, you really shouldn't let your kids smoke weed.

Yeah.

I learned it from watching you.

Like, this is a sting.

I was here to catch you being a bad parent.

I'm from Child Protective Services.

Emily, what was the family in your neighborhood?

Was it the Flemings?

Honestly,

we were the family that probably just were the underachievers.

It's like everyone else had like on a roll kids.

And then me and my sister were like, we were having to, you know, stay behind on field day to finish things because we forgot to do them.

But yeah, no, it wasn't, we're pretty boring people.

I did find weed in my parents' closet once when I was in the seventh grade.

Hey, did you know what it was?

No, not at the time.

I like to go through my mom's stuff because I like to wear her clothes and like try things on and things.

And I was like 12.

I went through her closet and I'd try on her shoes and there was a box like stacked at the top of the closet that said pink suede.

And that sounded really cool.

And so I got a chair, got up there, opened it, and it was like a bag of loose leaves and twigs.

I didn't know what the fuck was that.

Is that the strain?

Is it like OG Kush and pink suede?

It was just distress.

Well, it also, there was also a little vibrator and

I knew that.

Are you serious?

Yes, I knew what that was.

So, mom just had an all-purpose bad stuff.

Yeah, pink suede.

It was like

the bad girl box.

I guess.

But I didn't know what the fucking dirt bag was.

Like, and then I told my friends about it.

I was like, I think I found a vibrator and lube.

It was funny.

You knew what that was.

Well, I didn't know.

I think I kind of garnered what it was.

I'd seen movies and stuff, but I didn't know what the bag of stuff was.

I thought it was like shitty potpourri.

I was like, why?

Because it was like in the 90s, potpourri was everywhere.

Yeah, I think that's true.

That's true.

Keeping bathrooms fresh.

Yeah, nobody's got potpourri anymore.

I remember I received Potpourri as a high school graduation gift.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's very strange.

That sounds like a gift for someone who wears Victorian-era high-neck lace shirts to prom.

Right.

Which is not what the girl in this movie does.

Right.

And it's like Nana's.

wedding dress is she's wearing it and yeah the the the looks in the movie of the valley of the valley girls in this movie is very little house on the prairie very yeah, it's.

I'm hoping to discuss this further because I

was very confused about the fashions.

As they say on all podcasts, we'll get into it.

Can you swear on this?

When's this come out?

Allison, what do you okay?

A, do you remember the name of the drinking family where you grew up?

I nodded along.

However, I was a Sweet Valley high-reading dork, so I was not really privy to that kind of fast and loose lifestyle.

I,

yeah, I mean, I remember Grad Night,

my dad helped me buy vodka.

So maybe it was my family.

What is Grad Night?

No, Grad Night.

Oh, Grad Night.

Yeah.

For some, it's Grab Night, but not Grad Night.

If you're lucky, if your dad buys enough vodka, Grad Night's going to dirty Gradnight.

Right.

And I remember he gave me some advice, like, I think he was saying that the clear, you'll feel less sick from a clear alcohol than a dark alcohol, which is funny because I don't know if, can kids even, I mean, I guess I was 18, so I wasn't really a kid, but like, I don't think I felt hungover until I was in my early 30s.

Yeah.

I had never experienced that.

I got very hungover.

Really?

When I was 20, for sure.

Okay.

Growing up, the family who let people drink in my

neighborhood, they were the Davidsons.

And

they were like horse people and dog show people.

So they like showed horses and like, you know, had all these peerbred dogs, but also what kind of peerbred dog do you know?

Oh, good question.

I don't really remember, yeah.

I just kind of know that was their deal.

Was it Pugs?

No, I'd be sick if it was Pugs.

That one the dog shower on Thanksgiving, you guys.

Let's just say, let's just say it was Pugs.

Let's say it was Pugs.

It's a more old now.

It's a more funny.

Yes, and Pugs.

Yes, and Pugs.

Yes, great improv.

UCB, here we come.

Yeah, so let's maybe transition into the movie a a little bit.

Allison, I want to know from you, and then maybe go around the horn.

Do you have ultimate 80s movies?

Or like when you think of the pantheon of 80s movies, what are we talking about?

To me, it's all the John Hughes movies.

Those were 80s, right?

Yeah.

So

Pretty and Pink.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Breakfast Club, some kind of wonderful.

That one I don't remember as well.

I've never seen some kind of wonderful.

I feel like it was good.

Yeah.

Don't

kind of wonderful, wasn't it?

We were kids.

We don't know if it was good.

And then, oh, a movie that I have seen so many times.

I assume it's 80s, the sure thing.

I don't know.

Yeah, it doesn't ring a bell for me.

John Cuzak,

what's his name?

I can't remember his name.

Michael J.

Fox.

No.

I'm just guessing here.

Ronald Reagan.

Tim Robbins.

Like, is I want to say Carrie Elways, but it wasn't.

It's someone,

one of the,

I don't know.

I want to say it's a Carradine, but I think that's wrong.

It's a blonde actor, and if I said his name, you'd go, oh, yeah, that guy.

Nicolette Sheridan has a

little role in it.

Daphne Zuniga is the female star of it.

Looks like Tim Robbins is in it.

Yes, he is.

He has a ton of a cameo.

Anthony Edwards.

That's who I'm thinking of.

Oh, sure.

From Revenge of Carrie Elways.

Yeah.

Star in ER, one of my mom's favorite hunks.

Did anyone hear me say Tim Robbins?

I just did a lucky guess, and I feel like nobody.

I don't hear you say it.

I'm sorry.

I heard you say it, and I just assumed you were looking at IMDb.

No,

I just thought of, I thought of Tim Robbins off the top of my head.

I just feel very confident about my ability now to know things.

You're kind of a soothsayer.

I'm a soothsayer.

I say sooths.

I've heard sooths so far.

Great genius.

Oh, in Real Genius.

Real Genius as well.

Real Genius.

Yeah.

Directed by the director of this movie.

And Deborah Foreman, the star of this movie, is also in Real Genius.

Oh, Deborah and Michelle Mayrink or Myrink, both of them are also in Real Genius.

Oh, Nito.

Here we go.

She does look like a Deborah.

Are we, are we, Emily Matt, are we missing any Great 80s movies in the list of Great 80s movies?

What is it?

Home Alone?

I guess that's 1990s.

That's the 90s.

Ferris Bueller's is like my classic 80s go-to.

Like Ferris Bueller's.

Say anything.

Oh, say anything's a great one.

Is that 80s?

Or is that 90s?

Yeah, that's 80s.

Yeah.

In your eyes, right?

Yeah.

I'll

say two that I think I re-watched kind of recently that I thought held up great.

This is a cold take.

Breakfast Club.

Breakfast Club is very good.

Limited, problematic stuff, too.

Always interesting when you're going back and watching your 80s favorites.

Because this one, wow, and wolf.

Yeah, had a lot of sharp terms.

Yeah.

Big yikes.

Yeah, a lot of yikes.

Some yikes.

Some mild yikes.

Some major yikes.

I made it out of the mom pool boy stuff, which, boy, that's in so many things that, you know,

I know.

Hard to count.

The hero called someone the F-word.

Yeah, straight up.

What?

I don't remember that.

Did you miss that?

I don't remember that either.

Oh, my God.

It was so loud to me.

Yeah, I had to rewind it.

I'd be like, did the main character just do a slur?

Yeah.

Our hero, everyone.

Yes.

Our favorite guy, a homophobe.

Cool.

Man.

That was how it was back then.

Yeah.

I also did not expect to see boobs.

No.

There were boobs.

I was kind of shocked by it, but it's like there used to be a lot of boobs in movies.

It used to not be very shocking.

Yeah.

But it was, to me, very shocking, especially because of whose boobs.

I saw in the very beginning.

Yeah.

But we'll get into that later.

But I know exactly what I'm saying.

Wow, I didn't think to see.

Okay, like it was, yeah, but

they were good boobs.

Yeah, yeah.

The boobs, they would go.

Two very big thumbs up.

Two huge natural thumbs up.

Natural thumbs up.

Two pendulous thumbs up.

Two swinging thumbs up.

Two inverted pepperoni thumbs up.

They were.

They were.

I have the same ones.

Hey, God, they're like, they're like,

my nipples are like two eyes that are closed.

Oh, I like that.

Either like,

do they open when you're cold?

I don't know.

I've never been.

I guess I cover them up when I'm cold, so I'm not really looking at them.

That's funny.

I don't know.

I only see them when I'm in a changing room and I'm sweating my ass off in a changing room.

Well,

let's start

talking about Valley Girl.

We begin with a beautiful

air shot,

helicopter shot.

There we go, aerial shot.

That's

an Areola shot.

Jesus Christ.

That's later in the movie.

Beautiful Hollywood.

And we get into a fucking shopping montage at the mall.

My God, this fucking 80s mall.

So great.

Take me there.

You may be nostalgic.

We've talked about this on the show before, but

Allison, weigh-in.

Mall kid, were you a mall kid?

so yes

yes because to me again we've established i was a dork i read books i didn't get to do the things that cool kids did and i was not a confident dork who's like you guys all like this i like something else go go fuck yourself i wasn't that way i was like I want to do what the cool, I was, I wanted to conform so badly.

So to me, the coolest was Mallory Keaton from Facts of Life.

And she loved shopping.

So I'm like, henceforth, I love shopping and I love talking on the phone and I love guys and boys.

It's the same thing.

I love cute boys.

That's my personality.

So I was just like very down the middle.

I mean, I wasn't.

I was very weird, but I wanted to be like down the middle mall kid.

So yes, I did spend a considerable amount of time at various malls and shopping centers.

Yeah,

love this mall.

You got a fucking hot dog on a stick.

You got people racking that credit card clacker.

You know that thing?

Oh, yeah.

I had to use those occasionally.

I spent many years in retail, and if the credit card machines were down,

you had to use that.

And they called them knucklebusters.

Oh, were they really difficult to slide?

Yes, they were.

But they always called them knucklebusters.

I never called them.

I was like, okay, you figure them out eventually, but they are kind of cumbersome and stuff.

And then you had that little like triplicate thing you stick in there and

get perfectly lined up.

That always looks really fun.

Don't even get me started on if people paid with checks.

My God, that was a whole thing.

It was like you had to put it through this scanner thing and it wouldn't work.

And then you had to call the bank and by then you're never going to make commission again.

Somebody is paying with the check.

And yeah, I've, oh, God, I don't miss retail at all.

Yeah, this mall is fucking awesome.

Everyone looks great.

Like, everyone looks totally great.

We have our main character, Julie.

She's wearing kind of a classic, kind of neon 80s look, and she has a giant Woody Woodpecker pin.

Oh, my God, this Woody Woodpecker pin.

She looks awesome.

She's there with her friends.

They're shopping at the mall.

One of the friends, whose boobs we see later, is played by Elizabeth Daly.

She is Dr.

Keely's Big Adventure.

And she's also the voice of Tommy Pickles from Rubber Ats and Buttercup from the Powerpuff Girls.

She does a ton.

She's really prolific via voiceover actor at this point.

She goes by E.G.

Daily now.

E.G.

Daily.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I think, like, other than Cage, she's kind of like the big person who went on to be a star.

That is how I knew her.

Yeah.

I was like, I've seen this face before, but not as an actor.

And I realized I saw her doing one of those Nickelodeon behind-the-scenes meet the voice actors things.

Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

Well, I kind of get her confused with the person who does the voice of Lisa Simpson.

Harley Quinn.

Oh, do they look similar?

Yeah, I think so.

Inverted nipples on the other one, too?

Yeah, definitely.

She passed away recently.

How dare you talk about a legend?

Oh, comment section is going to be rough this one.

Sweet Valley, hi.

Sweet Valley.

Hi, people.

They're saying a bunch of awesome 80s stuff.

They're saying, gag me, totally bitching.

Julie's boyfriend, Tommy, is there.

There's a lot of

people who are in the middle of the day.

Yeah, but Tara Strong.

That's who I thought she was.

Oh, Tara Strong.

Oh, yes.

Just in terms of, like, I was one of the things I was excited about with regards to this movie was going to be the Valley Girl accent because I kind of assumed, just based on the title of the movie, that this was kind of like the big coming out party for this very particular Southern California type accent.

Because there was like surfer boy movies before, you know, and you had fast.

Fast times of Richmond High, yeah.

But like Valley Girls, Ninja Turtles.

Yeah, Ninja Turtles, very famous surfer boy.

That was more of a Valley Girl accent than anything that happened in this movie.

Yeah, I felt like watching, a little disappointed, I felt like they were doing a whole speak.

Not just the, it was like the slang was right, but the accent itself felt

like Midwest.

Did anyone else feel like it was weird?

Yes, I can comment on this as I think the oldest person here.

Yeah.

Okay.

And the only person who lives in the valley.

Thank you.

I grew up in Southern California.

Well, you did too, though, Jordan.

But yes, I currently live in the Valley.

Yeah.

So my sense is that the Valley Girl accent,

what we think of as the Valley Girl accent, underwent a giant shift.

And I think it might be because of SNL and the sketch where they're like,

That was that was Cermex a lot, but uh, Lorraine Newman,

Lorraine Newman, I think, kind of made that her thing.

And so that's what we think of as Valley now, but what's in the movie is what was considered the Valley Girl accent before.

Oh, interesting.

Okay, interesting.

Stugged me, that stuff.

I love this.

Yeah,

so it was more of like vernacular and stuff as opposed to an actual accent.

It was like the way words were used and like, but also the cadence.

Yeah, it was the way they like this.

I know.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah.

This was valet.

Everyone talked like us.

And I feel like that was what I was expecting.

And instead, it just, I mean, maybe it was correct.

I just felt like I was

watching something in some sort of Scandinavian accent for a while.

I don't know.

The main actress to me just seemed like

your nice manager that

works at the mall with you.

Like she doesn't.

She seemed like she was 35.

Like, I don't know.

I was like, girl, where?

I'm so

you said that.

I had a real problem with the fact that the parents were.

Her mom looks younger than her.

The parents put glasses on her.

Exactly.

The parents looked the same age as the kids.

It was very, it bumped me a lot.

But then my husband said that Nicholas Cage was 17 in this.

Yeah.

Is that possible?

Yeah, I believe that.

He did look actually young.

Yeah, young.

And he kind of acted, you know, he acts like just kind of like a shitty kid, too.

Yeah.

Well, he's got a doofy face.

That's the thing.

His original doofy face.

His doofy face and his doofy teeth, which it's so weird to think that he is a coppola and they were like, braces?

No.

Like, that is fascinating to me that, like,

but now he's got, he's capped up.

He's capped up, baby.

He's capped.

You've stated before that you're a fan of the snaggle tooth.

Yeah.

I like this version of him.

That's why he looks like a teen.

The shitty teeth and everything.

To me,

he seemed older and looked older, but I'm also realizing that I am now old enough that it's hard for me to assess ages.

Or it's just watching this movie, it's hard for me to assess.

Clearly, it was hard for the casting director as well.

Yeah.

Yeah, oh,

speaking of the ages of our main characters, at the mall is Julie's boyfriend, Tommy.

There are a lot of people

who could go in for this award

in this movie.

I'm going to say that I think Tommy is the oldest teen.

Agreed.

Oldest teen.

Supposed to be a teen.

He looks like a guy your dad plays golf with.

He talks about getting drunk at the 19th hole.

He looks like one of the guys that made a bet in trading places.

Yes, yeah.

Yeah, popped collar.

He's a snob.

Yeah, the hair is like already thinning a little bit, but he's combing it to the front.

So it's like, it'll be fine for a while.

But yeah, and he also just looked like a guy.

My favorite thing is, you know, if you've got the bully dude in a teen movie, he's usually a bigger, more intimidating guy.

Nick Cage is the buffest dude in this whole movie.

He is jacked.

It's like,

we got so much shirtless Nicholas Cage.

Thank you so much for everyone who picked this movie.

And

I didn't.

I think Jordan, you suggested this one.

And I'm

so glad I needed it.

Happy to help.

Happy to help.

I feel like Bobby should have been played by James Spader instead of this dippy guy.

Oh, they probably couldn't afford him.

And then it was like, this guy's enough, I guess.

Or he was busy.

He was unconvincingly the like hot jerk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you put glasses on him, he would have been shoved in a locker.

Like it's just like how hot mom was hot.

Like a hot girl.

And then they just put glasses on her and they were like, mom now.

Now is mom.

Glasses is mom.

Yeah, I think it's the same thing.

And I have the same glasses as that mom, by the way.

I think all the money in this movie went to the soundtrack, which is fucking great.

But yeah, I think everything else was,

yeah, was done, was done on a shoestring, including the script, I guess, to this was written in 10 days.

So

that's maybe

five days more than I would have guessed.

There was

a lot of necking and not a lot of talking.

Yeah, there's a lot of montage and there's a lot of making out.

But yeah, so as

I felt like, did did I miss something?

But I don't think I did.

That's the experience of watching it is like,

it's not making sense.

I must have missed something.

It's a movie.

Yeah.

I think the like the like generous reading of this movie, which has like very little plot and like character stuff, it's just all these little vignettes.

Truly.

It's like

this, it's a more, maybe they're trying for a more naturalistic movie that like is supposed to be just kind of like what being a kid is like.

You just kind kind of do all this stuff and you have all these giant emotions and you don't really know why.

And this is maybe like kind of like that movie kids.

Yeah, maybe it's just kind of an 80s kids.

It feels like it's trying to be a link later.

Like maybe trying to be a link later, but it's yeah.

And I think if you're watching this going, oh, this will be more like a breakfast club, but it is.

Yeah, maybe it is something trying to be a little artier than that, a little more like slice of life.

Anyway, it's, it's, you know, we'll, we'll review the thing at the end, but yeah, it is it is a kind of a plotless like meandering movie.

So yeah, so

so she breaks up with Tommy at the mall.

We go to the beach.

Out of the water comes, Emily mentioned it earlier, shirtless Nick Cage, and his chest hair has been shaven in

why

wild.

What did you think?

What is your opinion on Cage going into this, Allison?

You know, I don't, I did not not have the highest opinion of him because when I think of him, I think of that, his voice like in an exaggerated way, and then his nose job and his teeth.

But then here, Eau Naturale, I found myself liking him quite a bit and seeing what everyone else likes in him.

You think he had a nose job?

Pretty sure.

Hmm.

Am I wrong?

No, I never thought of it.

I'm going to have to see what he looks like now.

Maybe I'm thinking of someone else.

Maybe he did, but I definitely think he got when you get your teeth fixed your face definitely changes i mean right maybe take a look at hillary duff it's like a totally different person cage nose job what's that looks like i don't know it looks about the same i think that maybe he did nose jobs are really good these days it's like hard to tell i watch those compilations of like i love before and afters with nose jobs and it's so subtle that it's like wow maybe he got it like broken when he got beat up trying to like rob a grave or something.

Like, what did Nicolas Cage just do on this?

Nicolas Cage would do that.

He was robbing graves for gold teeth so he could fix his own.

So you never thought, Allison, you never thought Nicholas Cage was a hunk?

No,

I never experienced Nicholas Cage fever.

And I did see Peggy.

What, what's Peggy Sue got married?

Yeah,

Peggy Sue got married.

I saw that in the theater.

My mom took me.

Maybe she liked him.

Well, now I'm questioning whether he had a nose drop.

For some reason, I was pretty sure he did.

Well, I don't know.

We are a big fan.

I'm very turned on by the Moonstruck version of Nick Cage, which does not look very different

from this version of Nick Cage.

Yeah, I'm sure.

The chest hair grooming is definitely noticeable.

Oh, yeah.

In Moonstruck, it's just, you know, he's letting it ride.

This one, it is like a flying V.

It's like the, like, the, what's, I don't watch the, the, the DC new like cartoons, but there's like a tiny Batman, right?

Is he Nightwing or what's that one?

Yeah, the one that's a little boy, little boy Batman.

And it's like got a red, there's like a red Batman logo, and it's like Damien Damien Waynes, his sure, yeah, but it's like

Damien Wayne's, yeah, Blank Man is the one.

It's like if a Batman logo was sucking it in, was like

wearing a little girdle.

It makes his pecs look amazing.

That's the thing, is he's got the arms, the arms on him and the back.

He's really hot in this.

Yes.

Good God.

And the way he, like, when he first came up to flirt with our lead gal, I was like, flustered.

It was,

like, I was really,

it was really hot.

So this movie, like, we, Allison, for your information, our last episode was on Twilight.

And I think that, like, interesting watching this movie back to back with Twilight.

I think they're kind of like the same movie in many ways.

And, like, the energy is the same in a lot of the scenes.

Punk guy.

Right, yes.

What is a werewolf but a

werewolf but a punk guy that can kill you?

Yeah, that's smart.

Yeah.

Is the vampires a sparkle?

I don't fucking know what that thing.

We didn't care.

That's what I mean.

Sorry, I meant vampire.

Honestly, what

does not

matter?

So at the beach, they learned that there's a party going down in the valley.

Cage is a Hollywood guy.

He's a punk rocker.

He doesn't want to go to the valley, but he does anyway.

Spoiler alert.

At the valley, there's like this house party that like that like is kind of that thing we're talking about where the parents are there and they're letting the kids drink and they're also making sushi

sushi.

My experience of sushi was that it came out of nowhere and all of a sudden like there was an inflection point where all of a sudden sushi was the hot thing and it was in the early 80s.

And I've always wondered, is that just that I became aware of it and then it was everywhere?

But this movie to me suggests it did have a moment.

It was very trendy.

Yeah.

No, there was, I remember, I've seen this only in movies older than me, where I realized there was a time in which sushi wasn't around, and then all of a sudden it became like sort of a punchline, not because it was like bad, but because it'd be like, oh, now we're all going to go eat raw fish.

What are we?

Weird.

Wait, how old were you on the grill?

How old were all of you when you first tried sushi?

Oh, it took me a while.

Not to me too.

I would have like the vegetable kind, but when I actually tried raw fish, I was, gosh, I don't know.

Yeah, I think it was college.

Yeah, I think college is when I pretended to like sushi.

I think I was middle school, and there was this really cute place called Taste of Tokyo in Hillsborough Village in Nashville, R.I.P.

And they had a crunchy shrimp roll that was just like shrimp and then the, you know the tempura crunchy flakes and that was it and it was like so good it was like eating cheetos and shrimp and rice it took me so long it took me so long to like finally like try sushi the correct way that one time i discovered this one sushi chain uh it was actually in sherman oaks uh called sushi mac I don't know if you, Allison, you ever went to Sushi Mac, but like, it was like you had the menu menu where you like you check off the box of the things you want.

And I told my college friends we're all going to go to sushi mac.

And apparently, uh, it was like the worst sushi they had all ever had collectively.

And I was like, no, but you got to try my favorite roll, which was a cooked fried roll.

And they were like,

I don't think you like sushi, Matt.

And I was like, what are you talking about?

He had sushi mats.

I'll get a chimney.

I love it.

It's got cream cheese.

Hell yeah, man.

A Philadelphia roll all the fucking way.

All the way.

I love that shit.

I love it too.

I still think it's, you know, superior to just eating like, you know,

a raw piece of salmon with some rice.

But, you know, everyone's got their own taste bud.

Yeah, totally.

Taste bud.

So, yeah, this is like a big, huge joke in this movie.

They're eating sushi.

Ha ha.

Look at these valley people.

So it's kind of like the valley snobs versus like the Hollywood punk guys.

So yeah, Nicholas Cage and his like dumb buddy show up.

So they are, they're, you know, kind of punked out, but Nicholas Cage is wearing pleated slacks.

It's such a funny like costume detail of like, oh, he is, he's wearing church pants.

He's wearing his church pants to this party.

I know, I wonder how accurate this stuff was.

I wonder if this is like a heightened costume version of what it was actually like or if this is more accurate.

It felt very specific.

Like the style.

You're right.

It did feel.

Yeah.

Yeah, it felt very specific because honestly, that first blouse, because our main girl, our main valley girl, you think of as going, oh my God, Ella, like having a side ponytail, is wearing blouses

and like she and a pearl necklace and like stuff.

So she's got this Victorian era white lace

high neck blouse that is pretty much the exact same blouse that my mom wore for her wedding in the 70s with a white skirt that's with baby's breath in her hair.

And I'm like, did this girl just like take her mom's wedding dress and then go to a party in the top part of it?

Like, I'm, she had a lot of blousy Victorian-era saloon girl looks.

I didn't, it was very weird.

I don't know.

Maybe that was cool then.

I think it was.

I think it was.

But I've never seen it repeated anywhere else.

People got smarter.

Bring it back, Gen Z.

I mean, I'll bring it back.

I'd love to wear that shit.

Yeah.

When you have huge tits, it's just you can't like hide them under a bushel or a basket, you know?

Tell me about it.

You gotta let them shine.

I have the same problem with pants.

Because of my balls.

Because of my

balls.

No pleats for you, man.

Nope.

Can't wear pleats.

You see the balls.

Anyway, so Cage comes to this party.

He gets in a fight with Tommy, and then he sneaks back in.

So he sneaks back in through the bathroom window.

And then I do not know.

This was the weirdest scene ever, and it made me uncomfortable repeatedly.

It's very weird.

He just lays.

So, you you know, he's sneaking back in so he can like fight Tommy and like talk to Julie, who he is in love with now.

And he just lays down in the bathtub.

It's so fucking weird.

And then there's this, like, it's to set up a joke, right?

Where he's in the bathtub while all this shit's going on.

There's like people coming to make out, people come in to do drugs.

But it's like, why did he do that?

He's going in there to fight this guy, but he just lays down in the tub for a while.

Why is he hiding in the bathroom?

There was something

pervy about it.

Just this being like there's a rando guy in the shower while people, but no one actually uses the bathroom when they come in, do they?

No, no one ever takes a shit.

I was waiting for it.

Yeah.

Where it's a shit scene.

In the bathroom, and then in the mirror, we see the other people coming in to have conversations and do all the various things.

And he has this look on his face like, oh no,

now I have to hide in the bathtub for even longer.

It was the weirdest scene.

It's

very strange.

I think it's just supposed to be a joke, but it's kind of just like this, like, poorly executed

where it does not track.

And that happens a couple times in this movie.

Like, there's that montage where Cage is like following her around and he's like working at every place that she goes to.

What the hell was that?

That, too, is I'm like, oh, okay, I can see the kind of joke they're trying to make here, but like, they have not explained it well.

And it just seems like

you're going insane.

Yeah, because for me, I didn't realize it was a joke.

And I'm like, like, okay, that makes sense that maybe he has a job taking tickets at a movie theater.

Wait, now he's working at a fast food place.

What's happening?

It was just very confusing.

Sure, yeah.

I think these are supposed to be these kind of wacky montages, but like they're just, yeah, I think he probably punched people and took their uniforms and just

did it.

That's the scene.

I wish he showed that.

That's the scene.

He probably shot that and then realized, oh, this kind of makes him look like a dick.

Let's just cut that out.

Let's just say that.

Keep him the slur.

Keep in the slur.

Yeah, yeah.

We'll just assume he filled out all these W-2s.

He had time to pin his resume out and do all this.

Probably to type it out back then.

Probably to type it long.

Yeah, that's right.

So anyway, so he gets back in eventually.

He romances Julie.

He tells her.

Wait, sorry to interrupt.

No, please.

He's in the bathtub, hiding.

And then his lady love walks in.

And then he emerges.

And instead of being like, what the fuck are you doing in here she's just sort of delighted that he's surprised in the bathroom while she's in the bathroom thinking she's alone after he was fighting her boyfriend in the hall like it's just yeah totally insane um no emotion in this movie makes sense yep um but hey maybe that's what being a teenager is like generous

you know what clap thank you

so clap for me thank you okay so at this party he's hiding in the tub he finds julie she comes into the bathroom not weirded out by it um He kind of convinces her and her like snobby friend to go cruising with him and his shitty friend to Hollywood.

They

jump, they jump in the car and they like cruise Hollywood.

The snobby friend, like, okay, I want to talk about the music in this a little bit, which is it object, which is great.

Like, this is a great soundtrack.

I think it is wrong in many places.

Yeah, I think that it is like, okay, so in the car, him and his like punk buddy are supposed to be blasting music, and the snobby friend is like, oh, I hate this.

I hate this.

And this is what they play.

Matt, can you play this song that's

like, this is the...

Like, I like that song.

But it's so corny.

It's like, I don't think this is the thing those dudes would be listening to.

They're wearing leather jackets and they're going to like the whiskey to see a band.

Yeah.

There's no way they're listening to, what is this, Pat Travers?

Pat Travers is the name of the artist.

It's clearly written by a much older person.

Of course, yeah.

Yeah, it was incongruous.

Yeah, who wrote this?

Yeah, I don't know anything about Nicholas Copp.

Francis Ford Coppola.

David Mimicked.

Did you guys know that there's a Valley Girl remake that came out a couple years ago?

Yeah.

I remember it being a COVID movie.

I think it was a COVID movie.

They got dumped onto streaming.

And this, so I saw this movie for the first time during COVID because it was hard to see for a while.

It wasn't on streaming, probably all the music.

And my friend is like, and this is when we were doing like, let's all watch a movie on Zoom and pretend like we're having fun.

Remember that?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

My friend is like, oh, my God, you can rent Valley Girl now.

Valley Girl was like unseeable.

And so this is my first time watching it during COVID.

And I think it was to go along with that remake, which I have never heard anyone say anything about.

But yeah, if you've seen the Valley Girl remake and have opinions, let us know on Reddit.

R/slash Free with Ads.

Anyway.

So they're driving around to this absolutely wrong song that actually fucking rocks.

They go to Matt, it's not the whiskey, it is the Viper Room.

Oh, they're going to the Viper Room.

But before it was the Viper Room, right?

So I don't know what it was called then, but in the 70s, it was called.

I read a little history of the Viper Room.

It was called Filthy McNasty's.

I love that name.

Why is that not still the name?

Yeah.

The Viper Room sucks now.

Now that's a shitty name.

They changed the name, and then they killed River Phoenix.

Thank you.

There's nothing this terrible room won't do.

Yeah.

If it were still Filthy McNasty's, he'd still be here.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

He would have still been alive.

The butterfly effect of changing it to the Viper Viper Room really, really

goddamn you, Johnny Depp.

And again, so at the at the Viper Room, RIP Filthy McNasties, they're seeing this band, the Plim Souls, who I like a lot.

This is a band they like, they're a real band.

They had some great hits, fun power pop band.

They are not tough at all.

They make Weezer look like Ramstein.

Yes.

So it's just like, and the Valley Girls are supposed to be like, what's this music?

It's the nicest, like, sweetest, hooky power pop music.

It's just like,

yeah.

Anyway,

that doesn't work for what's going on in the scene, but I do love the music.

The fucking Plim Souls rock.

They have a great, lots of great hits, but

wrong for this.

You know, so this is kind of where Nicholas Cage and Julie fall in love.

He just says a bunch of stuff to her about how he's like not a sheep.

He has that typical, like, I'm not a fucking robot.

You and your friends are robots.

He's kind of mean to her.

Right.

It's a very strange moment where he's super mean to her, and then she's just like, Oh, you.

Um, I feel connected to you.

Yeah, I'm like, What do you mean?

He just called you a sheep, right?

Well, I mean, that her other Tommy or whatever is just as big of an asshole.

It's like she's kind of just floating around, yeah, a bunch of assholes.

She spends this entire sequence just going, Ew, you're weird, you're weird, ew, the whole time.

Yeah, and I'm just like, at some point, just

get her out of the car and go home.

Wait, did we talk about the fact that Tommy tried to seduce her BFF?

Oh, yeah, at that party.

Yeah.

Oh, I missed that.

Yeah, that's a very weird character.

You couldn't have missed that.

That's where you saw the boobs.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

She was wearing this super cool jumpsuit that, like, honestly, her character, Tommy Pickles is what I'm going to.

Tommy Titties.

Tommy Tittles.

I don't know who Tommy they'll call her from now on.

Tommy Tittles.

Her style is my favorite style in the whole.

She looks great.

She's wearing a lot of black and white tiger print, which it's not zebra.

It's not leopard.

It is black and white tiger stripes.

And I'm like, okay, I immediately went on eBay and was like, where are the plus size tiger stripe dresses at?

I got to find them.

Because

nothing says you're reaching 40, like busting out of a tiger stripe dress.

But like, it was so cute.

But she had like the side ponytail and then that red jumper that she was wearing that was a little bit more condemned.

She looked like a cartoon race car driver.

She was so cute.

Just so cute.

I kind of hate that it's like that character, Tommy.

I don't blame the best friend for kind of having a hookup moment with What's Her Face?

Did it almost seem like they had a history?

Because he's clearly upset and trying to get back at What's Her Face at our

Valley Girl.

So he's hitting on her friend, and then the friend, at first, it almost seems like rapey for a second.

Yeah.

But then she's like, she kind of goes for it.

It's clear that she's into him.

I don't know.

It was on the line.

It was icky, but then she was like, if they were going to actually go all the way, she's like, so then we're together now.

Yeah.

Then we're going steady if I go all the way.

And then every time that happens, in my experience, a dude is like, ugh.

Really?

Yeah, really, bitch.

Yes, really.

Sorry,

there have always been fuckboys.

We've heard that she's the slutty one, right?

There's other, there's suggestions about that.

Like, did you catch that line where, do you, like, she said stuff tastes like Clorox?

Yeah, yeah.

There was.

Oh, is it because cum tastes like Clorox to somebody?

They call it stuff, but that's what, like, she had told them that, apparently.

She's never wild one.

Oh, my God, that is true.

There's one point where she's talking about, I think they don't, like, say it.

I think what she's talking about is how to give a hand job to a friend.

Oh, I need all the help help I can get.

And she's like, it's like shaking hands with your best friend.

Oh,

interesting.

I missed that.

I remember the lines.

I do.

Put her there.

Great to meet you.

You've got the job.

That bleach thing is going to make me.

You've got the job.

The hand job.

The hand job.

You start on Monday.

Come in on Monday.

Here's your parking pass.

I don't know.

Whatever.

We've got shit covered.

So that kind of magical night in Hollywood happens.

She goes home to her parents who are her age.

We've mentioned it.

It cannot be mentioned more.

Her parents are exactly the same age as her.

It's so fucking weird.

It's weird, but they are honestly the nicest people in this whole movie.

They're so sweet.

I think her parents, so they're two ex-hippies.

They own a health food store, which is probably another very buzzy, like current joke at the time.

It's like they sell wheatgrass juice.

RFK's wheatgrass.

Yeah, exactly.

That's how you get the brain worm.

That's how you get the brain worm.

So yeah, they're very, they're very like cute and funny.

The dad like shows pictures of him like at Woodstock and stuff like that.

Again, they are her age, but the characters are very like cute and sweet.

His sandals break at one point, and he's like, oh, man, I just got those.

And then he goes, no,

you got them at Woodstock 14 years ago.

And I was like, damn, that's right.

The 80s and the 60s were kind of just right there.

Yeah, yeah.

I loved them.

I thought they had great chemistry, too.

They like, I just, it made me be like, I want to be married like them.

Yeah.

But this is a movie and it's not real.

It's not real life.

No one's in love.

Yeah, not really.

I definitely, I can't wait to get to Hunk Watch because it was tough for me.

And I think,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, yeah,

let's talk about kind of the rest of this thing.

Michael's Cage goes to visit her in the Valley.

There's a Valley montage where the Encino is in there suddenly.

Yeah, I know.

The Valley is very liberal here.

And I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

Let me know if you think they were trying to be funny here.

They're showing the signs of the Valley, like they were showing the signs of Hollywood.

And you see a Winchells, you know, the shitty donut chain.

Are they saying that Winchell's is cool, or are they saying that the Valley stinks?

And that's like their only thing that was Winchell's cool back then?

Maybe.

I don't know.

It wasn't

cool but it was it was uh i mean first of all it's not just in the valley maybe there was a time because i grew up not in the valley in los angeles and there was a winchell's near my house that i loved i think it was just like uh krispy cream it was like a nice it was like uh

it was the first chain donut shop that wasn't like because it most donut shops are just somebody opens a donut shop and they make most of their money selling cigarettes.

That's usually how it goes.

So I think Winchell's was just like, you know,

just donuts, no cigarettes.

There was also a lot of Dupars here.

Yes.

And I love

that.

I know.

It made me very happy.

I thought that was cute.

I used to live across the street from a Dupar's in Jupars.

I know.

Such a fun little hangover, like, like, sober-up spot.

And yeah, I think this is a DuPars in Studio City that it's not there anymore.

I think it is a, I think it's a Sephora.

I think they're saying something about chains with the Winchells thing, and I'm not sure whether it's a joke or not.

I have the same feeling about the health food store where she is embarrassed that her dad runs a health food store and says something like, I wish it was something cool like a pizza hut.

Yeah.

And I'm like,

is that is that a joke or at the time?

Is that a joke?

That's.

Okay.

Yeah.

I wondered that throughout this whole movie.

How was it received at the time?

Yes.

I guess maybe if I read some original reviews, it would say that.

But was it supposed to be, was it parodying?

Parodying anything?

Yeah.

Consumerism.

Isn't that like a big part of being a valley girl?

Like you love

corporate kind of stuff?

Because when I was a kid, if you made food at home, it was sad.

If you just eat a pizza hut,

it was happy.

Yeah, so it's hard to tell because, you know,

whether or not they're making fun of that, I think at this point,

that type of consumerism was considered like a good thing.

I don't know.

It felt like that.

Either that or it was a joke.

Who knows?

Hey, if you're a Valley girl out there and you're maybe in your 60s now and you saw this movie, please tell us, was that a joke?

Was there always the tension between the Valley girls and the punks, though?

Yeah.

Like, you guys are sheeple.

Yeah.

But also, maybe they, Winchells had some kind of a sponsorship thing with them.

Did they have that in movies back then?

No, maybe, yeah.

I don't know.

Like, if you watch, for example, Riverdale, every once in a while, Corn Pops will pop up 50 times in an episode.

Hell yeah.

And you'll be like, oh, for sure, that had something to do with money.

There's a lot of that shit.

And yeah, a couple of seasons of Riverdale.

There's one where Veronica is having a new business.

She always has a new business.

And where she's presenting it to people.

And she's like, I made a presentation for our new business on Canva.

Like, this is the PowerPoint website.

I know, they just like fucking own it in that show anyway.

Yeah, they don't give a shit.

I can't remember what show it was, but someone's like, Do you know?

No, I'll bing it.

Yeah.

And that was the most took me out of the moment.

No one ever said that.

No one's ever seen that.

I remember this happening on a show, and I can't remember what it was.

It was like One Tree Hill or something.

Yeah.

But yeah, I was like, I wonder if there were kind of paid, you know, product placements.

Yeah, maybe

a big donut paid for this movie.

Could be.

Big donut.

Well, hey, we are almost to the end of Valerie Girl.

We're almost to the

requisite prom scene that has to happen in all of these movies.

We're going to talk about it right after this.

You know, we've been doing My Brother, My Brother, Me for 15 years.

And

maybe you stopped listening for a while.

Maybe you never listened.

And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years.

I know where this has ended up.

But no.

No, you would be wrong.

We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works.

The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on my brother, my brother, and me.

We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening.

And if not, we just leave it out back and it goes rotten.

So check it out on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

We're back.

It's free with ads.

We're here with Allison Rosen from Allison Rosen is your new best friend and all the other best podcasts.

We're talking about Valley Girl.

Of course, this is a teen movie.

Of course, it takes place in the 80s, so they got to go to prom.

They do it.

So Tommy takes her to prom.

He's wearing a pink tux.

Looks pretty cool, honestly.

It does look cool.

Their outfits together.

Again, she's wearing...

A fucking doily from Gone with the Wind or something around her titties.

I don't know what the fuck this dress is.

Do you remember Jessica McClintock?

Am I the only one who knows that name?

So this was the store.

They made fruity, frilly, lacy dresses that you would wear at a homecoming or winter, like girls' formal dresses.

And you could get it at most department stores, Jessica McClintock.

But then there also was an actual Jessica McClintock store, and there was Jessica McClintock Perfume, which I had.

And I got my, I went to only two, I went to prom and I went to winter formal.

And my prom dress was from Jessica McClintock, and it looks like a wedding dress.

It is big and white and lacy and very bridal-looking.

But anyway, I noticed in the credits they credited Jessica McClintock.

So I think her Victorian dress may have been Jessica McClintock, yes.

I'm on her website right now, JessicaMcClintock.com.

Is this still around?

Slash fashion.

Wow.

Yeah, she's got fragrances.

And yes, it is like a very kind of romance, novel-esque inspiring.

Yeah.

A lot of bridal.

I see.

Oh, she's got eyewear too.

No, no, no.

Not a good one.

She's grown since I knew her.

Handbags.

Oh, it's very formal wear.

I kind of dig.

I dig a lot of this.

Good for her.

She's still around.

Well, the store's still around.

Jessica McClintock, fashion designer, dies at age 90, March 14th, 2021.

Oh, RIP.

Sorry, girl.

I guess it's too late to tell you the eyeglasses look like shit.

We will put a doily on your grave

And whisper that the eyeglasses look like shit into the ground.

They do.

That's a very expensive thing to go into.

There was a weird scene between the parents, the parents who are the same age,

when, so the dad, the Woodstock dad, smokes pot in the bathroom.

Yeah.

And they're all waiting for him to come out.

And then he's going to take pictures of Bobby and Deb.

What's her name?

Deborah.

Julie.

Julie.

And Julie before they go.

And the lens cap is still on.

What a goofy high guy he is.

Then they leave.

And then the mom gets all punchy, touchy-feely with him.

Not touchy-feely, but like weirdly, she's like hitting him.

And he goes, what is this, Bangkok?

I don't need a massage.

And then

she asks if he has more of whatever he's smoking.

Yeah.

Oh, and then he says,

she says,

they say something like, oh, is she going to be okay?

Like,

is she going to come home or something like that?

And he's worried.

And the mom says, like, oh she'll be okay you know how kids are you remember our night in the graveyard in the cemetery that was the weirdest cemetery yeah yeah yes that was the weirdest scene yeah or the weirdest line

not to mirror what they meant by that but i assume uh they just played a board game yeah they did the same thing that you know nick cage did they dug up teeth to put in their own heads

got in a fight with a night watchman yeah i mean that does sound hot if you're gonna i didn't go to um Homecoming one time.

I like got all dressed up.

My date picked me up.

We went to dinner and then made out in a parking garage for like two hours.

That's way better.

That's the kind of cool teenage shit I always wished I would pick up.

Yeah.

And then we had to like rush to the end of the dance to just get pictures so that my parents knew I did go

and then come back.

So, yeah, but yeah, no, that's a third wheel at my prom.

At your prom?

How did that work?

Well, I asked,

there was a girl in one of my classes, then we were like friends.

And

it was like, next year, if you don't have a date, we should go to prom together.

And then we didn't discuss it again for maybe a full year.

And then around prom time, I was like, hey, you want to go to prom?

We said that we would.

And she said, yes.

And then two days before, she told me, can my boyfriend come?

Oh, my God.

And I i was like oh i didn't know you had a boyfriend she's like yeah justin and i was like just

the bassist in my band what and what yeah it was she was dating the bassist in my band and so at first

a teen movie this is a this is a teen movie yes yeah um more plot in this than the whole band

yeah yeah it's a lot more tension uh and then um yeah and then at first i was sad and then i was like i'm still going because that'll be funny And then we went, and we had a great time.

Did you like her, though, as more than a friend?

I mean, she was a girl, so yes.

She was a girl who talked to me, so yes.

But once I found out she was dating my bassist, I like to call him my bassist as if I owned.

It's your band.

Yes.

Then I was like, well, that's fine.

We could just be friends.

Honestly, though, this one's kind of baller.

I love her.

She's like, yeah, I have a boyfriend, and I'm going to take another date.

Yeah,

and they're both in a band.

Yeah, in a band together.

This sucks.

Um, I'm pissed for you, Matt, but I'm also kind of happy for her.

Like, yeah, no, she was cool, and it was it all worked out fine.

The band did break up eventually, but not over that.

How did the dancing at the dance go?

Oh, I left them alone.

I just went over to where my friends are and we started freestyle rapping.

No, no, I was a dork too, Allison.

I feel solidarity.

Yeah, I was also very dorky.

We all would have hung out.

The kids I hung out with were all the art kids and theater kids.

Yeah.

But they were all into anime and manga and everything,

which I've tolerated.

And then I would go over to the one dude's house whose parents were never home for some reason.

And we'd watch Hentai porn.

Hell yeah.

On a DVD.

It was a magical night.

Yeah.

I listened to an episode of of this show, and you mentioned hentai on that episode, too.

I think I'm up on it in every episode.

It's like you listen to an episode of the show.

Yeah.

I'm surprised we don't have a sting for it, but I won't ask for it.

So hentai is like tentacle porn?

It's cartoon, like anime.

Anime porn.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hentai porn.

Okay, there we go.

Yeah, I just

my artsy, you know, friends got into it and then I thought, oh, I could look it up online.

And my parents, if they catch catch it, won't notice it because it's a cartoon.

And they won't think I'm watching porn, which was incorrect.

Yeah, well, because when they see the boobs,

that'll do it.

Yeah.

Hey, speaking of boobs, these characters are at the prom

and some of them have boobs.

Very good.

There's a thing.

The women, mostly.

Mostly the women.

And there's a thing where

no one brought cups to the prom.

And like, where are the cups?

This is absolutely a joke that goes nowhere.

They like go back to it several times.

I'm like, when's this thing with the cups going to pay off?

Someone brings cups.

It's very weird.

Yeah, script written in 10 days.

I mean,

was it E.G.

Daly?

Was it her character who was supposed to bring the cups?

Or was it?

Oh, no, no, no.

It was Michelle Mayrank, her character, who was making out with the guy who was flirting with her stepmom before.

And she completely forgot about this.

That was a weird subplot that didn't need to be in the movie.

It didn't need to be there at all.

It almost makes no sense that it was there.

There's a weird.

We'll describe it briefly.

There's a total aside where these characters who aren't really related to the rest of the movie, it's a

it's a it's a it's like a stepmom and a young hunk.

Everyone's the same age, but in this movie, they're playing a stepmom and like this young hunk delivery guy.

And they flirt.

It's this scene.

It makes it makes the like yearning scenes in Twilight seem like they were written by Aaron Sorkin.

This is so slow and awkward.

Yes.

And there's that ham-fisted graduate reference.

Can I give you a tip?

Plastics.

So yeah,

and the end shot of this movie, I think, is supposed to look like the end shot of the graduate, too.

So there's some, like, they're kind of trying to, like, remind you of that in some ways.

Anyway, so, yeah, it's a thing.

The mom's in love with the pool boy, and then doesn't pay off at all.

Yeah, there's a scene where you think he is having sex with her, but it's really the daughter who had a crush on him.

Anyway,

it's a thing that happens in the movie.

And that's why the cups are late.

And then they get there, and then one character says,

Were you getting laid?

Yes, so the cups thing makes sense.

Oh, it's perfect.

A perfect puzzle box of the movie.

Squirrel.

Yeah.

The cups are late, and then therefore they change the name of the club to the Viper Room, and then River Phoenix dies.

See, that's how the butterfly effect works.

Christopher Nolan would be proud.

So

Nicholas Cage and Tommy fight backstage.

Tommy does a bunch of karate moves.

It's kind of funny.

And then they start a food fight.

And then

in the midst of the food fight, Nicholas Cage and Julie slip off.

They tell the limo driver to head to the Valley Sheraton.

And we get the shot that's kind of like the end shot of the the graduate.

And that is the end of Valley Girl.

That's right.

Before we rank this movie on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials, we want to talk about who we were the most sexually attracted to.

It's our segment, Hunk Watch.

It's Hunk Watch.

Emily, you had some thoughts on the hunks of this movie.

And by the way, I just want to point out this is a movie, maybe the first one we've done, where they actually say hunk.

Hunk is like a toll used in the movie.

Anyway, yeah, you had thoughts, Emily.

I mean, clearly, it's Nick Cage, but the dad with the existential crisis about like getting old and dying with the mustache,

I love a mustache.

I don't know what it is.

I think they're great.

And he also just seemed like, I don't know, fun to be around.

And him and his wife's relationship was kind of cute.

And I thought he was hot.

But in terms of hunk, it is Nicholas Cage, 100%.

Allison, did you have an opinion on the hunks of this?

Yeah, definitely Nicholas Cage.

I also found myself thinking at times the pool boy guy, who was not a pool boy, but he may as well have been.

He was kind of attractive as well.

Yes.

You know, I felt chemistry between the dad and his daughter.

Did you notice that?

Sure.

Well, you know, you did.

Okay.

We all grew up together, so of course there's a connection.

They're the same age.

She was when Nicholas Cage came into the health food store and she nervously hid behind her dad, it felt like they were about to make out.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was weird.

It was weird.

I felt it too.

It also felt like he could have been her son.

Yep.

And that made me feel gross, too.

Anyone could be anyone's kid in this movie.

True.

I don't know who is whose kid.

Literally could be anyone.

Time is meaningless in the world of Valley Girl.

Matt, do you have any hunk opinions?

My hunk is Tommy slash.

Yes, Tommy.

And

he's a good man, huh?

Let me tell you why.

First of all, he's the good guy in this.

Okay, all he wanted to do was love Julie, and she couldn't accept that.

So that's fucked up.

No, but I just really like this actor.

His name is Michael Bowen, and he is just

a, like,

very much a guy from that thing, as you say.

Like, he's been in Lost.

He was in Breaking Bad.

He was in Django Unchained.

Like, I was like, I know this guy.

I've never seen him young before, but I know him.

And yeah, I just like him.

So I want to give a shout out to Michael Bowen.

Shout out to you, Michael.

And I'm just going to say, I'm going to say, as wrong as they were for the scene, I think all the Plim Souls look great in that we love, you know, we love a rock band who wears a tie.

Well-dressed men, fine sweaters.

Vampire weekend could never.

Yeah, so I think we're going to rank this movie on a scale of one to ten Super Loud commercials when we come back.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news, we still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined!

No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

We're back.

It's Free with Ads.

We are here with Allison Rosen

from the podcasts.

All of them.

All of them.

Talking about Valley Girl.

We are going to rank it on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials.

Allison, you're our guest.

We'll start with you.

One to ten.

I was kind of shocked that you had never seen this movie before.

I know.

It is a shock.

Okay, one to ten super loud commercials.

Well, it's, you know, it's tough.

I find myself wanting to be charitable to this move.

Is it okay that I'm just blathering about it?

We do that.

We do that.

I find myself wanting to be charitable to this movie.

And I,

however, there was a point at which I went, oh my God, how much longer is there?

Sure.

And I, you know, hit the thing on the remote to show the scroll.

And I was a bad sign that it was only 13 more minutes.

And I went, oh, thank God.

So I would say, I guess I was not truly enjoying it, but I wanted to.

So I'm going to give it a five.

Five, very fair, very fair.

Emily, what do you think?

I felt the same way.

I also, like,

I'm going to make a really controversial confession.

Spicy.

I pay

for the no ads version of YouTube.

Oh, my gosh.

I know, I know.

It's okay.

It's sacking.

I'm out of here.

But so I get to watch them without ads.

And I also think even if you watch the movies with ads on YouTube the ads are less frequent than on Tubi and

Pluto, which is why I tend to go I don't want to watch things on Tubi that bloat out like just so but we do it because we are very democratic in that way.

We absolutely all platforms.

Yes.

But yeah, the amount of I just I kept every time it would come back, I'd be like, why is she mad at him?

Like, why is she taking back the blonde guy over the guy that she's clearly that was never explained?

That's what I mean.

Where I was like, I don't feel like

something.

It never made sense.

It just didn't go anywhere.

There were fun characters all over the place, and everybody did a good job performance-wise.

Everyone clearly took their boniva in order to do this, their like whatever they needed to deal with, their aches and pains because they're old as fuck.

But yeah, it was fine.

I'm going to give it a four.

It was, it's, it's watchable.

It's a good background movie.

We love movies that could be put on in the background of a party, and you'll be having fun.

This is definitely one of those movies.

And the soundtrack is fun, for sure.

And Nick Cage.

Nick Cage.

Matt, what do you think?

I'm going to give it a seven, actually.

Wow.

The thing about this movie is I agree with all of the plot.

holes in it or not even holes but just like the kind of meandering nature of it but i liked the

I liked seeing Los Angeles in the early 80s.

And so this movie is filled with mostly montages, which I loved.

And I spent most of the movie going, oh, I know where that is.

Like it ends where you see a Denny's, and I'm like, I know that Denny's.

I also recognized the Denny's.

I'm like, that's the Denny's.

Is that Rock and Roll Denny's?

No.

I think that is a Denny's in, I think that's in Studio City.

Okay.

Yeah.

We're thinking of the same movie.

On Sepulveda, right?

Am I wrong about that?

Or I think we're thinking of the same one.

Or Magnolia on Magnolia.

It could be.

Even if I don't know the Denny's, it was fun to think I thought it was fun to

see a Denny's.

I regret that I even asked because I feel that I've destroyed the Denny's moment.

Don't worry about it.

But yeah, seven.

Yeah,

I think five is perfect for this movie.

I think it is like, it's cool it exists.

It's cool we can watch it.

I think you know

the free with adsiverse kind of saves these weird movies from obscurity a lot, which I think is really cool.

Because you know, this wouldn't be on Netflix or anything like that.

But it's a, you know, it's a weird kind of like sloppy, shaggy movie that has a lot of memorable stuff in it.

So yeah, very cool to see.

And yeah, if you're like,

yeah, if you're like into LA history, so much great LA stuff in it.

So yeah, it's like,

it should have more plot.

It should have more characters.

But yeah, I mean, fun vibes, fun vibes for Miles.

And yeah, that's Valley Girl.

Allison Rosen, thank you so much for being on our show.

I loved it.

Thanks for having me.

Time to plug.

Allison Rosen is your new best friend.

One of the greatest chat podcasts ever.

Absolutely.

Yeah, it's a legend.

I've been on it.

Emily's been on it.

I've been on it.

Matt's been on it.

The whole crew chopped it up on A-R-Y-I-N-B-F.

But

you have other shows as well.

Do you want to talk about some other stuff you have going on?

Sure, sure.

Well, I have Childish, which is my parenting-ish podcast with Greg Fitzsimmons.

And then I'm on Patreon, Allison Rosen.

Nope.

Patreon.com slash Allison Rosen is what I meant to say.

And I do a podcast on there called Friendzone.

But then I also have another Patreon podcast called Allison and Todd After Hours.

And I have my substack.

That is allisonrosen.substack.com.

I'm questioning whether it's that or not.

Google me.

You'll find my

Go to my website, Allison Ross.

It'll be in the show notes.

You will see all of the links.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Emily Matt, anything to plug?

Well, I've got Phlegm Gems.

Valentine's Day pieces are going up very shortly

in the next couple of days.

Probably by the time this is out, there will be stuff up there for you to grab.

And I will ship it to you before Valentine's Day.

So get your presents.

Also, I'm on cameo.

If you want me to send a little happy Valentine's Day to somebody.

See Phlegm Gems, a cameo.

The CPU.

Phlegm gems on ice.

Perfect for your sweetie.

Matt, anything?

You can catch me at the Ice House in Pasadena

at the date that will be listed in the show notes when I find the date in my calendar.

Check out those show notes if you're anywhere near.

Oh, it'll have a date on there.

Oh, I bet it will.

Hey, I want to talk about some stuff you can pick up at your local comic book store.

The first thing is Web of Spider-Verse New Blood.

This is a Spider-Man multiverse anthology with a story from me, an artist, Sumit Kumar.

Very cool, very cool Spider-Man anthology.

I'm seeing some of the art that's coming back.

Oh my god, Sumit Kumar is a fucking genius.

This is such a gorgeous book.

I cannot believe I got to write a Spider-Man thing for this.

This comes out March 5th.

So make sure you pre-order that at your local comic book store.

And on April 30th, you can grab Godzilla vs.

Los Angeles.

This is a Godzilla comic that is going to benefit a wildfire relief.

So these are three stories about Godzilla coming to LA.

And it's a very cool book.

And all of the money is going to support

rebuilding after the wildfire.

So it's a cool comic.

The money goes to a good cause.

So listen, head down to your local comic book store.

Tell them you want to pre-order Web of Spider vs.

New Blood and Godzilla versus LA.

And hey, look, if you have a comic book store, you kind of, you know what I'm talking about.

You're like, great, I'm going to go down.

I'm going to put it on my pull list.

If you're someone who doesn't read a lot of monthly comics, if you only read like collected graphic novels, you get at the bookstore, here's what I'm going to do.

I, you guys know this thing in podcasting where the hosts are like, I'm not tech support, right?

Like when someone's like, why is the audio off?

I don't know.

I just talk.

I don't know why.

Maybe it's your headphones.

Right.

I am offering, in this case, if you're like, I don't know where to get the comics.

Are you going to go to their house and read it to them?

I will go to your house and read it to you.

Like a baby.

I'll be offering that.

Yes, I'll swaddle you.

I will be your tech support.

Here's what you do.

If you're like, I'm interested in these comics,

email us, free with ads at maximumfund.org.

Say, I want to read the comics, but I don't know where to get them.

Tell me your general area.

Don't give me your fucking address, or else I'll come over and dox you.

Come over and then dox you.

He's a very scary doxer.

He just sits there

and in his cool t-shirts, in his cool band t-shirts.

It's going to be, you're going to be like, oh, oh, that band's so cool.

Say, like, I want to check out the comics.

I don't quite know where to get one in my area.

I will be your tech support.

I will fucking figure out where you can get the comics in your area.

So just free with ads at maximumfund.org.

Say you're interested.

Let us know kind of where you live.

I'll fucking figure it out for you.

Web of Spider vs.

New Blood, Godzilla versus Los Angeles.

Pre-order them at your local comic book store.

Okay.

Allison Rosen.

God damn, thank you for being on our show.

Thank you for having me.

This was delightful.

Yes, check out all of Allison Rosen's projects.

Really, truly one of the best podcasters in the game.

I think has elevated the the chat podcast to a high art form.

I am not fucking around when I say that.

One of the best to ever host a chat podcast.

Thank you.

Okay, it's true.

I feel the same, and I doth not fuck round.

No one doth fuck round.

I feel the same, but I fuck around

a lot.

You do.

And he finds out.

It's your era.

That's my era.

He's in his fucking around era.

All right.

That's it for free with that.

Tune in next week when our movie will be Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artists-owned shows supported directly by you.