The Warriors

This is Free with Ads, the podcast that asks the question: why pay Netflix eight bucks a month for six seasons of peaky blinders when you can go online for free and watch a classic gang war movie that never makes you learn what a peaky blinder is?

I'm Jordan Morris.

And I'm Emily Fleming.

Today's movie is The Warriors, the 70s cult classic that you can watch without having to pay.

With us always is super producer Matt Lieb, who's like our Cyrus, but for drops.

I want to be Warlord.

Don't we all?

No, guys, not fair.

Don't we all just want to be Warlord?

I feel like if you say it like that, you're not cut out to be Warlord.

Sure.

You're the guy who brings Warlord a towel.

Yeah, you're

Warlord's friend, you know?

Yeah, Warlord's good buddy.

Hey, I'm Warlord, and this is my friend.

Hey,

I just really love my friend.

That's you.

Going to the drugstore, you need anything?

Yeah, exactly.

I'm the start shit lord.

Not in the whole war, but like you guys are very careful.

I'll start shit.

Unlike the guy who's like at the bar trying to get you to fight some other guy, you know, whatever you call that.

Did you see how he looked at you?

Yeah.

You're going to take that?

You're going to take that, Daniel?

I don't know what anyone's name is in this.

I don't like how he coughs.

Yeah.

These gangs have lots of guys.

There's, there's, there's room for for everything.

If you want to be that guy, you can be that guy.

Absolutely.

Hell yeah.

We're going to talk about this movie, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads.

But before that, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week.

Other free stuff.

So

I've spent a little bit of time with my sister and my one and a half year old nephew this week.

We had a lot of fun.

Played trucks, played ball ball, a lot of fun stuff going on.

He calls it ball ball or it

if you like kick a ball around?

You ball ball.

You play trucks and you played ball ball.

Yeah, jealous.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, I am jealous.

Oh, boy.

But we also listen to a lot of kids' music.

As you do.

As you do.

There's

a lot of great kids' music on YouTube, and I am surprised at who has recorded a kids' album in 2025.

There's

one that's that I think is delightful and surprising.

I think you will know who it is immediately.

But I sent Matt a video of some kids' music we were listening to.

And yeah, Matt,

do you want to hit that?

Affirmations are positive statements that help us to challenge and overcome.

When you're not feeling good and have negative thoughts, so repeat after me, come on, everyone.

There is no one better to be than myself.

There is no one better to be than myself today is going i love this song i've heard this song

have you

yes

have you heard this recording of it or is there like a corner i have heard this song before wow and it really i think i saw it on instagram but it really made me feel better about everything

it's great it kind of works it really works it's it's about affirmations the affirmations are very like wide-ranging one of them is like i'm in control of my happiness yeah

I mean, that's

for some, not for all.

Well, that's true.

That's a toxic positivity for me.

Exactly.

If you are sad, it's your own fault.

If you

pour lift yourself up by your bootstraps.

Everyone's

wrong with you.

Snoop Dogg's Kids album is weirdly conservative.

Though, I have a lot of friends that talk about having positive affirmations, and whenever they say them, I hate it.

But when Snoop Dogg says it, I'm like, I believe him.

I know.

And then a lot of kids yell it after him.

It really is positive and lovely.

I know

Sizza is saying that she's going to do kids' albums.

Really?

Like, to fulfill her contract with her record label and then

her last remaining album.

Fine, like, we'll crank out a kid's album.

I mean, listen,

if that's, if it makes you happy, and it probably makes more money than a regular album, I'd say.

My nephew loves it.

And yeah, like I'm sure this stuff, kids just listen to it all day.

So just like

screaming it.

Yeah, Matt, Matt, what?

What does your kiddo listen to?

A lot of Miss Rachel.

Unfortunately, a lot of Coco Melon.

Yeah, Coco Melon's the fucking pits.

It is, it is free.

I don't know anything about that.

Coco Melon is just like a 3D baby singing baby songs, and all the songs are like too perfect in a way where where it's just like it feels like it was made by AI.

You know,

it's very AI-y.

Nothing feels human, although I think it is human.

It's just like, it's just so, it is too much.

My friend Vince,

in order to get his kids to stop, his child to stop listening to Cocomelon, he just told him that, oh, Cocomelon died.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Yeah.

And all the recordings were deleted.

Yeah, no, they don't, you know, because the kid doesn't know anything about about recordings.

It's just like, I want to listen to Cocomelon.

You can't.

He's dead.

I actually have a very

weird memory of like children's music that I listened to as a kid.

It's the singer, Tanya Goodman Sykes.

And

every time I would listen to it, I told my mom about this and she doesn't even remember this tape, but everything had like a tinge of sadness and melancholy to it.

Like there's a song that says, Tomorrow we'll go to the fair.

And it kind of sounds like someone's going to smother you in your sleep to like, or something like, it's okay.

Tomorrow we'll go to the fair.

Now sleep.

And then it's like, you know,

all of it sounds like it would make me cry because I thought I was never going to see my parents again.

That's how the music made me feel.

But

I would close my eyes and I'd never see anyone again.

We had a lot of music and, you know, prayers that were preparing us to die in our sleep.

Oh sure that's right.

Or that really want kids to know that that's possible.

I feel like all entertainment for us in the 90s was to prepare us for when our mom dies.

Oh,

of course.

Everything was telling us

your mom's going to die.

Like, yeah, Bambi, land before time.

A little bit of time.

If you're lucky, you'll die in your sleep first.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If I die before I wake.

Cool, fingers crossed.

So they don't have to watch mommy die.

All right.

Heaven's juice.

She'll be sad, but I'm not going to know.

I'll be dead.

Sure, I don't, yeah.

Yeah, so shout out to Tanya Goodman Sykes.

That

album was A Child's Gift of Lullabies from 1987.

Well, yeah,

let's place them at the top of the show sometime.

Let's

see, yeah, I would love to

dive into the

saddest song.

Yeah, maybe we'll open up the next show with a little Tanya Goodman Sykes.

Really bump everybody out.

And then we lift them up.

That's the magic trick.

But yeah, you listen to a lot of the same music over and over again.

It's terrible.

Raffy, classic.

Raffy's okay.

Raffy's fine.

Oh, by the way, before we change subjects, the elephant show is very present on social media.

Oh, Sharon Lewis and Bram.

Yes, they are on.

I think two of them are married.

Oh, that's fine.

Sharon and the elephant.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is a like folk singing trio who had a like a giant guy in an elephant mascot that was like their friend.

They did Skin Amerinky.

They did Skin-Amerinky Dingy Ding.

Skina Rinky Dew.

I love you.

But

they're definitely on Instagram and I saw them on TikTok, I think.

I kind of follow them because it's, I don't know, it's soothing to see them.

Sure, yeah.

But yeah.

And they've been old the whole time.

Oh, yeah.

I know, sure.

I think folk singers are always 50.

They never, they never get anything like ramen noodles.

Oh, I bet.

I bet.

Hey, very, something very exciting coming up at the end of the program.

We are going to announce the winner of our Godzilla Remix contest.

Oh my God, it's happening.

It's happening.

It's here.

The winner picked a very exciting song to Godzilla Remix, so make sure you stay tuned at the end of the episode for that.

And even more exciting, I would say we're finally going to talk about the Warriors, the 70s Cult Classic.

Hell yeah!

There it is.

Amazing.

Before we talk about this movie, we want to let you know that it does contain scenes of sexual assault.

So if that's not something you want to hear about, we're going to play a little music and give you a chance to find a different episode.

We're back.

It's free with ads.

We're talking about the warriors.

I thought I had to do it again.

Beautiful sting.

It's perfect.

It's made for it.

Well, also, yes.

I can dig it.

Yeah.

Yeah, let's all dig it.

I was surprised pre-show we were chatting.

Y'all had not watched this movie before.

No, it's been like in the background of places and stuff.

And I, of course, know the

references.

The references with the Warriors come out to play that thing.

I know that.

But

that stuff is very in pop culture.

Yeah, and the Can You Dig It?

Warriors come out to play.

Those are like the two big ones.

And, you know, I had like a vague idea of the plot.

It's like, oh, these guys are a gang.

It's in a world of gangs where they're running around.

Themed gangs.

Yeah, themed gangs.

And,

you know, but I didn't really know.

what the movie was like about.

And then having watched it, I still don't know what the movie's about.

Yeah.

But it rules.

Yeah.

You know, it rules and it doesn't.

I'm anxious to hear what y'all thought about it, just like watching it, you know, watching it for the first time in 2025.

This feels like Mortal Kombat the Musical.

Yes.

Oh, okay.

Like, at least with the choreography I was seeing.

Oh, the choreography.

It is.

Yeah, it is.

For a movie with no songs, it is very musically-y in many ways.

Yeah, for a movie that

just uses homophobic slurs most of the time, it is weirdly theatrical.

It is

so it's

interesting.

It's very of its time.

Of course.

And

I can see why it was popular, and I also can't understand why it was popular.

Yeah, let's actually talk about it.

We open on Coney Island, the home of the Warriors.

They're a gang of toughs.

Very diverse gang of toughs.

They have leather shirts, sorry, leather vests.

No shirts, not a shirt.

Well, if you button it, it's a shirt.

That's true.

They don't do that shit.

They leave it open.

They're not fucking buttoning those things.

You try and get the Warriors to button a vest.

You're

open

any rules.

No, they don't care.

No buttons can hold me back.

Also, I work out a lot.

Yeah.

But I'm still pretty skinny.

Very live, sinewy gang members.

We're the lean boys.

I'd say everyone was a lean boy in this movie.

So that is.

I had a note to talk about this, but since we're on the topic of lean, sinewy bodies,

worth mentioning.

In this movie, everyone is in a gang and everyone is a tough guy in a gang, basically.

No one looks like it.

Everyone looks like a

theater kid.

They all look like they go to the school in fame.

Yep.

They look like extras in Jesus Christ Superstar.

Yes.

100% yes.

Or Godspell.

Yes,

which is a vibe.

I like the vibe.

Oh, me too.

Don't believe they're in a gang.

But yeah,

all of these gang members have or are going on to audition for a chorus line.

Well, I will say that,

and I apologize if I reference the fact that I lived in New York for a while.

No, I was

thrilled to hear the perspective of

a woman.

Aye, well, I mean, this was in the 70s.

Was it the 70s that this came out?

So there's a lot of things that I didn't recognize, but the subways, the tiles and everything.

I was like, oh, yeah.

But I saw Papaya Dog.

Yeah,

and I was like, yeah, papaya dog.

That was cool.

But

the thing about New York is the dudes are either sinewy or chunky.

Like, it's one or the other.

There's nothing in between.

Everybody is malnourished one way or another.

Yeah.

Very happy.

Nobody's eaten well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, Warriors, shake somebody down for a sandwich.

Jesus.

Yeah.

A papaya dog.

Delicious.

Love a papaya dog.

Me too.

Of course.

They're delicious juice.

So, yeah, the Warriors, they're a gang, and they are headed to the Bronx, where Cyrus, who is described as the president of the biggest gang in the city, I love that this the gang has a president, not the leader, captain, he's the president.

I know, I love that kind of implies that he was elected, too.

Yeah, doesn't it?

It also implies that Cyrus's vice president would then become the president after the assassination.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Yeah, but uh,

interesting, the president is a criminal in this world, not too far from the one we have now.

I need some help with my Colbert package.

Help me.

Did that work?

Anyway,

so yeah, so they're headed to this big meeting of all gangs

led by Cyrus, the

gang president.

And so, yeah, they all meet in a big park, and Cyrus is presiding over it.

He is the most compelling actor in the entire fucking world.

He's wearing a silk kimono, looks amazing.

This fucking scene is

so terrific.

And it's like, of course, if you start a movie like this,

yeah, like you're starting, you're like, oh my God, am I about to watch the greatest movie I've ever seen?

Yes, his feature.

Him hyping up the gangs.

He's like, he's like, he's proposing a unification of the gangs to fight against the cops.

He's like, we have the numbers.

It's so incredible.

And if you watch this movie on YouTube, you can see on the watch bar little spikes where more people are watching.

And this scene is just this giant spike all the way to the top of the window, just because I, you know, this is what people remember from this movie: this scene, and of course, all the gangs, hyper-specific themes.

Um-you have some guys in top hats, you got some guys in clown makeup, there's the baseball furies who are all wearing like you know, like crazy face paint, crazy face paint, yeah.

And then I didn't know that was a baseball thing, I thought that was like a football thing.

Oh, you know, don't tell the baseball furies what to do.

Yeah.

Hit with a bat.

Yeah.

And yeah, and again,

this meeting is so cool to look at, but also just given the nature of all the actors in this movie, it looks more like a meeting of UCB house teams.

It looks like a bunch of improv groups.

Yes.

Yes.

It looks like a giant open casting call.

Or nerds.

My favorite was because like the rogues that are kind of the biggest villains, the big baddies of this thing, they've got the jacket that says the rogues on the back, which is the coolest.

It's fucking rules.

The coolest jacket and the coolest logo.

But at one point, you see these, the biggest dudes in the

biggest gang is the ones wearing the overalls.

And I don't know what they're called, but I.

Dexie's Midnight Runners.

Oh, I just call them the Lil Abners.

Like, they just look like

Lil Abner in the overalls.

But that's what they were called?

Oh, no.

Dexy's Midnight Runners is the band that had come on Eileen.

Oh, it was a couple of days.

And they're all in overalls in that video.

I had that chambered as a joke to make later.

Yeah.

Of course, there was a ska reference.

Well, I don't do that.

Dexie Midnight Runner is a ska band.

I don't know.

Well, I mean, don't they have horns in that song?

You know what?

They do.

And there's a famous ska cover of it from Save Ferris.

I guess I mostly know the ska cover of it by Save Ferris.

It's a, you know, a great cover.

And yeah.

Oh, we almost, we should have said this is uh an edition of our famous segment Scavenger Hunt.

This one we've done one time before,

otherwise known as a message to you movie.

Anyway, yes, so yeah, I want to play a little bit of this like bit from Cyrus where he's like introducing all the gangs, because it's just like it's so fucking good and iconic.

Now look what we have here before us.

We've got the Saracens

sitting next to the Jones Street boys.

We've got the Moonrunners

right by the Van Cortland Rangers.

Nobody

is wasting nobody.

That

is a miracle.

I mean, so great.

And yeah, cutting to all these like gangs and these like immediately iconic and kind of matching outfits.

There is a longer version of that scene.

There is a longer version of that scene.

Oh, there is.

Yeah, there is.

Yeah, it's done with another actor.

This guy wasn't the first actor cast in this part.

There's a, they have, you know, kind of a guy who, a little nerdier, didn't work quite as well.

Sure.

To kind of like do a kind of a longer version of this scene, but I think it's worth playing.

Just so

let's TA.

Everybody's here.

The minions, the C-Paps, the Painted Taints, the Socks with Sandals, the Wacky Sharts, the Jimmy Johns, the Kings of Queens, the Thick Boys, Podcast The Ride, the Baby Robocops, the Creamy Jeans, the Cartmans, the wine moms, the manly petties, the e-bombs worlds, the sensitive nips, some 41, Timmy and friends, the DEI hires, Gooper and the Ghost Chasers, the Foosball Furies, the guys who have a pickup truck but refuse to help you move, the Pank Yankers, the Impractical Jokers, God sexy little bitches, Dimple Dandy and the Goo Goo Gachoos, the shit ticklers, the hot dogs on a stick, Fudrucker Freddy and the Unlimited Topics Bar, The Disney Adults, Can You Dig It?

So that was a longer scene.

What a great scene.

I usually don't do those longer.

Some 41 killed me.

They're one of the gangs.

They're in too deep.

They're in too deep.

I was surprised you didn't do train.

Yeah,

that would have been good.

Train would have been good.

Drops of Jupiter.

Send us your recommendations for fake gang members.

That looks so good.

The juice for Jesus.

Oh, I thought it was in the car.

I didn't put it in there.

The Chixie Dicks.

Oh, Chicksy Dicks.

Oh, God.

I would definitely be in the wine moms.

Oh, yeah.

Great gang.

I don't even have a kid, but I'd be in there just hanging out and drinking.

Well, someone's got to supply the wine.

Someone's got to be the designated.

Oh, yeah.

I'm the supplier for sure.

You bring the wine.

I'll bring the moms.

Hubba.

hubba.

So, as this meeting is happening, we see a gun is getting passed around.

They said no weapons at this meeting, but someone's passing around a gun.

Apparently, the only gun in the entire city.

This is a city of one gun.

This is how you know this movie doesn't take place in Texas.

Yes.

And the gun lands with the man with the most prominent chin in the entire world.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

This is the man with the gun.

Such

The chin on this guy,

it's a dagger.

This guy does not need a gun.

He could simply stab people with his chin.

Bruce Campbell could never.

Yeah, it's and so this the gun lands with this guy.

He's like the main kind of psycho from the rogues.

That's his gang, right, Emily?

The rogues?

Yeah, the rogues.

Yes.

And sure enough, he shoots Cyrus and then blames it on the warriors.

The warriors did it.

And then everybody at the gang war just believes the one guy who yelled the first thing.

Yeah.

And it's fucking on.

So the Warriors have to make their way out of this enemy territory to their home in Coney Island, where apparently

they'll be safe.

Yeah, no one will care as long as they get back.

Oh, no, that's the championship is.

I mean, that's very

the baseball

gang will respect the home base rules.

But

I don't see how any of the other gangs would.

But the Coney Island Cyclones, they got the minor baseball team.

They'd probably go there and practice

killing people.

But yeah, this movie has such like, you know, it's little kid tag logic, but it's also like video game logic.

It's also like, okay, we had to do all the levels, and if you get to the end, it's fine.

Which is so crazy to me that there was no video game until like 2005.

Oh, yeah.

I remember when the game came out.

The game's pretty fun.

It's from the Grand Theft Auto people, and it's like

them up.

I want to play that game.

I don't care about video games at all, but this game I would want to play.

It's pretty neat, yeah.

And some of the voice cast comes back for it, too.

So, yeah, it was neat.

And yeah, neat that they like turned, you know, usually like if a movie is a video game, it's like something that's hot in theaters, like a Marvel movie or something.

It's kind of cool where they're like, let's turn this cult classic from 1979 into a video game.

Yeah, I wonder if there was like a resurgence in like a cult classic vibe to the Warriors at that time.

I know.

I wonder like how this movie went from, you know, something Quentin Tarantino cares about to something that just like all 16-year-olds watch.

Well, I think at the time, and I was,

there were references to it happening a lot or something.

I mean, just recently, What We Do in the Shadows has a Warriors basic.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

It's really good in their last season, R.I.P.

But I would love to know on Reddit if you guys would like to watch us play the Warriors video game on Twitch sometime.

Oh, yeah.

That would be very fun.

In fact, we should do that whether or not you want us to want to play it.

Yeah, screw that.

But you guys will get very frustrated with me because I am very bad at video games.

I think there's a two-player thing, so I think, yeah.

Okay, cool.

Let's look at it.

And then you can watch me play the Spider-Man game.

Ooh, hell yeah.

Until my eyes hurt and I fall asleep.

Anyway,

so the Warriors, they're on the run.

There's like,

so like, we've basically described the plot of the movie.

Like, nothing else really happens other than they run and run into various gangs.

There's like a little power struggle within the Warriors for who's going to be Warlord,

which

never turns into anything.

But wait.

Yeah.

Can you specify?

So they had a leader.

The Warriors did, but did he get killed?

I know he got beat up on, but I didn't see him actually die.

That's a great question.

I guess when they were running away,

their leader got

taken?

I don't really know nor remember.

And I watched it yesterday.

Yeah.

Well, I assume that he, I remember

the, I guess the main gang that our Cyrus was the head of,

the big dogs, they, which is not the name of their gang, I don't remember the name of it, but they like piled on the Warriors' main leader and just started pummeling him.

So I assume that's a good thing.

So that's what happened.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, okay, yeah.

So we're without a leader.

We do have a guy.

You know, the Warriors look awesome.

We do have a guy wearing, you know, Native American headwear, looking like a white lady at Coachella.

I think just in hindsight, in 2025, where we're mindful of cultural appropriation, this technically is probably the worst hat.

The worst hat.

Sorry, I don't mean to virtue signal with the segments.

No, but I think

you're right about this.

I mean, hindsight is 2020, but bad hat.

Well, I think that their whole The Warriors kind of has a Native American

inspiration or vibe.

Yeah, yeah, I think in the jackets and stuff like that.

Yeah, sure.

But yeah,

so, you know, the beginning of this movie, very strong.

The end of this movie, very strong.

Middle, yeah.

Middle, just kind of going out.

It's just going forward.

And I mean, it's so video game-like that I'm surprised that no one got, like, stabbed.

And then they're like, well, lucky for us, we found this first aid kit right here in this barrel I had to break open.

We ate a turkey we found on the ground and got all our life back.

Oh, I need some mana.

God, it's mana.

Yeah, there's no blood in this movie except for at the very beginning and very end.

You just see people getting...

Oh, wait.

There's some blood in the middle.

Okay.

Yeah, I think at the time this movie was super controversial.

I think people thought it was like really shocking.

And I think there are things about it that are shocking, but like the violence watching it now is so tame.

They're just shoving each other.

Well, that's what I heard too: is that the Warriors is like intense.

And yeah.

And then I was watching it and I just wanted to be like,

it's incredible.

It's like the fists aren't even close to the faces.

Like the fight choreography is hilarious.

Yeah, I know.

And they all scatter when Officer Krumpke walks in.

So, so, yeah, we see some of the more gangs.

There's a couple gangs we only see in kind of this montage right around this time.

There's a bunch of dudes who are wearing like Hawaiian shirts and bucket hats.

Love those.

See them for a second.

I'm like, oh my God, make a movie about those fucking guys.

Are they all divorced?

Is that their story?

It's just the Doughboys and Jordan Morris.

Yeah.

We're a

gang is going to go to the Nordstrom's Cafe.

You want to meet up and kick some ass?

We're going to hang out with the nacho hat guys.

Right?

We're going to have a hell of a fight.

We're not going to fight each other.

We're going to fight these chicken nuggets

with our teeth.

The chilies gang.

Yeah, we're going to drown them in sauce.

So the first kind of like gang they have to deal with is the orphans.

So, the orphans are these like masterless dudes who weren't invited to the big Cyrus thing and they're bitter about it.

And I think part of the reason they weren't invited is their terrible sense of style.

Everyone else looks so great.

The orphans just have on these oversized green t-shirts that they look like they got in bulk from Costco.

Fucking step it up, orphans.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, put a little curly red wig on your head and tap dance into the meeting And give them a show.

And they are all very weird-looking guys.

They look like if you put the Ramones in a microwave.

Like a marshmallow peep.

Yeah.

You just want to soften up the Ramones a little bit, but...

Oh, I left them in too long.

They just seem like really sad.

Like

their mom only gave them baby carrots.

Well, they shouldn't have named themselves the orphans.

This is the problem.

They gave themselves a weak name.

Yeah.

It's like no one fears the orphans the same reason no one fears the Utah jazz you know you're never going to win a championship named the Utah Jazz that is very true yeah um and this is uh the scene where we meet our first woman that's right there's a woman in the movie her name is Mercy she does a like are you chicken thing and her chicken cluck is awesome she sounds just like a chicken i wonder if they just dropped in actual chicken noises i think they they did.

She's really good.

She's pretty good.

It's true.

She is apparently part of a gang called the No Bras.

And

she asked the Warriors for one of their vests, and I can see why she needs it.

She is literally freezing.

Although there could be some chafing if you put a leather vest on top of it.

I do have a story.

When I first started getting boobs in elementary school, all I had was a training bra, which is really just an elastic band around the, you know, the rib cage and then just cloth.

It doesn't do fucking shit.

And I wore overalls to school and those buckles on the front of the overalls,

yeah, you're going to need a bra

because they were bleeding by the end of the day.

It was bad.

I'll never forget that day because I was like, I can't wear overalls anymore.

This is so sad.

But so, yeah.

Are you there, God?

It's me, Emily.

Yeah, my tits are bleeding.

Thanks, God.

That makes a lot of God.

Fucking bitch.

Fucking bitch.

Call God a fucking bitch.

So this is Mercy.

She kind of like hangs around the Warriors, very unclear what she's doing there all the time, but she kind of just pops up randomly.

I think, you know, we learn that she's in love with Swan, one of their like random dudes.

Well, he's kind of the

main main dude.

Yeah.

So, so yeah, Swan is the kind of like,

you know, most classically handsome of the Warriors.

Although I will also say this about the Warriors.

In addition to having lithe dancers' bodies, they all have such beautiful full lips.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

The kissers on these boys.

The kissers, the smoochers on the Warriors.

I mean, Mercy was so beautiful.

I don't

never seen her in anything else.

Such a 70s babe.

Yes.

Classic 70s babe.

So they're all kind of walking around.

They

periodically threaten to assault her.

Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.

Yeah.

She's such a fucking weird.

Like, oh, really?

I'm supposed to like these guys?

So, yeah, they'll just like be kind of really threatening and disgusting to her periodically.

Very weird move.

And mean to her most of the movie.

And at one point, she actually even says to Swan, like, why are you so mean to me?

And he's just like,

because I hate women, or he he doesn't say that but it's just like yeah why you know like you guys are hanging around running away from getting murdered you're just gonna be mean to this random lady very weird so weird

also we should probably mention so Swan is like looks very similar to the other dude in in the warriors that's trying to fight to be warlord fortunately you get them confused a lot yes well the one that's shittier like not like there's one that's less shitty, and then there's one that's very shitty.

The very shitty one is named Ajax, and he's Dexter's dad from the show Dexter.

He is.

Yeah, that's, I was like, Dexter's dad is crazy.

Like,

in this movie, but yeah, they look very similar.

Yeah, he's somehow worse than Swan.

Like, Swan is, you know, I mean, he's the hero of the movie, but he's, like,

pretty bad.

But there's a guy, Ajax, who is worse.

Who is worse.

Yeah.

Way worse.

So, yeah.

so they throw like a Molotov cocktail at the orphans to get away, and then like Mercy comes with them.

Now they really look like an improv group because they have one woman.

Yes, I am.

So they're, you know, there's just a bunch of kind of random encounters.

They fight these cops in the train station, and like one of them, I don't know which one, gets thrown onto the tracks.

So we lose a guy there.

The baseball furies, who we talked about, chase them.

This is a pretty cool scene.

The baseball furies all like coming out of their dugout and grabbing their bats.

It's like fucking awesome.

They were the creepiest ones in the whole thing, I'd say.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I mean, their look is.

I mean, some of the looks of these gangsters are so fucking great.

They're like obviously the greatest and the one everybody remembers, but it like looks so cool.

The baseball furies look very cool.

They get their asses kicked really easily.

Basically, everybody does in this movie.

Like,

by the end.

no one has a gun, so it kind of like everyone's just kind of figuring shit out.

Like, all right, I'll grab this pipe, you know, someone's like, there's one knife.

You know, you just have to, one of them should have just been like, okay, my gang is the, you know, iron chefs, and we all have knives.

You know, because, like, I'm sure the baseball guys felt like fools when they're like, oh, shit, why did we choose a sport with just some blunt weapon?

Well, the other thing is, like, I remember,

okay, when I lived in New York, out here in LA, I can have a taser, which is pretty cool.

Like,

you cannot have any weapons really in New York City, which I don't know if that was the case in the 70s, but it's pretty hard to

own a gun in New York City.

I don't, like, it's not really legal.

I don't think it's going to be a pain in the ass.

Nobody really has guns.

Yeah, but gang members do.

I mean, you know what it is.

Yeah, but I'm talking about me right now.

Okay, okay.

But I was saying I wanted to have a weapon when I was in New York, and I thought, oh, I should just get an asp, which is like an extendable like stick that you like hit people with.

But the thing is, people could just grab that and take it away from you if you don't know how to use it.

That's most weapons.

Yeah, which is the bats were like, these are shitty weapons because you could just kind of duck it and grab it.

Oh, that's why I put a sock on mine.

Oh, yeah.

I put a sock on mine and then you know they try to take it and then they are holding a sock and then I hit them and then they grab it and then I'm fucked that gang should have thought of that yeah that gang stupid but yeah I've always been like oh I'll get a baseball bat put under my bed you got to put a sock on it y'all got to put a sock on it you got to put a sock on it if you learned anything from this episode let it be this you gotta put a sock on it

and i have brass knuckles but apparently that is illegal in california yes that is illegal you can't have brass knuckles i brought it on to gmm once and then the comments uh told me that.

What?

You learned a lot from the comments.

Gotta love the comments section.

Thanks, commenters.

Fucking narcs.

Comment section for it.

Dumb night.

So we beat up the baseball furies.

We get into

the park.

Okay, so there is a just random woman sitting on a park bench, and I think this is Ajax, right?

Emily just decides he's going to leave the gang and go

hit on her.

Okay, so he walks up to this woman and they're like, come on, let's, we got to get back.

And he's like, oh, you go ahead of me.

So this woman is into him immediately.

This woman is the mom from big.

Yep.

Whoa, crazy.

And so she's like into him.

She's like, ooh, you got big muscles.

I bet the girls like these big muscles.

And so she's just down to do it in the park, I guess.

But then he like gets rough with her.

He gets violent and he starts like biting her.

It's a pretty upsetting scene.

But then she handcuffs him to the bench.

She was like an undercover cop and gets him arrested.

And I love that

the cops are there immediately for this, but really nowhere else in the movie.

But man, for that, for her, for that undercover cop, that gig, just sit in the park and wait to be assaulted.

That's your job.

Yeah, yeah.

Wait for a gang member to show up.

Don't worry.

Wild

by their weird outfits.

It is a strange scene, too, because after he gets handcuffed, he's like, oh, man, come on.

And it's like,

you were biting her.

Yeah.

She was consenting too earlier.

She was clearly like, if you are pretending that she's, you know, if all you know, you don't know she's an undercover cop.

She's just some girl on a bench who thinks you're hot.

Why are you still trying to assault her?

He said he liked it rough, which, you know what?

Rough can be fun if you just, you know, you got to have lines there, guys.

You got to have like, there's got to be boundaries.

I know they're gang members and I'm supposed to be like, but they're gang members.

They're supposed to be bad.

But there's sometimes you're just watching this and you're just like, come on, guys.

No one has guns, but everyone's like this.

Come on.

Exactly.

Yeah, and I know it's like, it's the 70s.

It's supposed to be gritty, but it's like, these are our heroes.

Like, can we just have them not be the worst people in the entire movie?

Like,

they could be a little rough around the edges.

Well, the other thing I struggled with from the beginning of the movie is, so they're all gangs.

Gangs are bad.

Yes.

So no matter what, they're all bad guys.

So it's like, what do they do?

They're like, these are my turkey.

Do they just beat the shit out of people and steal stuff?

Like, I don't think that's.

It's very unclear.

What do the warriors do day to day?

Gangs usually have some sort of income coming in through, you know,

let's say illegal gambling, drug dealing,

prostitution.

There's, you know, there's usually some sort of enterprise.

It seems like these guys just walk around.

Yeah, that's

kind of what I was seeing.

I was like, they just kind of walk around and are dicks.

The point of turf is it's literally just like, hey,

I own a McDonald's.

You can't put a Burger King over there.

I'll kill you.

It's like, that's the point of Turf.

Yeah.

Or it's like, we sell drugs here.

Right.

That's what I'm saying.

And

there were no drugs.

Never brought up in in the movie.

Look at what any of these gangs do.

Well, also, I didn't even see anyone smoke a damn cigarette.

Like, where are you?

Nobody drinks.

Nobody smokes.

Actually, the only people that drink and smoke are the all-girl gang.

Yeah, the queer gang.

They are.

We're about to get to them.

Yeah, the guys who, like, they kind of split up, and there's a group of guys who run across the Lizzies.

This is the all-girl gang.

They look fucking awesome.

They look very Gen Z.

This is the a dancer-like costume stuff, which is

a gang made up of everyone I dated in my 20s.

They have a cool hideout.

They like invite the guys into the hideout.

They're like, come on, we'll hide you.

And they do, like, they have a little like party.

Some of them make out.

Yeah, they're smoking and they're drinking.

They're listening to cool music.

But it turns out to be a trap.

The Lizzies, oh, they, the Lizzies have a gun.

So there's two guns in this movie, right?

The Cyrus gun and one of the Lizzies has a gun.

Oh, whoa, Lizzies.

Y'all crazy.

Yeah, the Lizzies get it done.

Yeah, they're awesome.

This scene is great.

There's kind of like two of them who like dance together.

It's like, it's, yeah, it's all very cool.

Yeah, so they kind of like fight the warriors in there.

Yeah, again,

our heroes roughing up some women.

That's great.

Love to root for these guys.

So that's kind of a, that's a kind of a fun scene.

They get in like a men's room fight with the the overalls guys, the Lil Abners or the Dexies Midnight Runners or whatever we want to call them.

There's a really big guy in this gang.

I think he's the tallest person in the movie.

Oh yeah.

Tallest guy.

And then we're kind of almost to the end and there's this part that I think is so brilliant and kicks this movie up a whole fucking commercial for me.

They get on the train, they're almost there, and these just normal ass kids

who are coming back from it looks like prom get on and they're just messing around being kids

and they're looking at the warriors who are all like fucked up and dirty

and like

and I okay

How old are the warriors supposed to be?

I don't know.

Well, the orphans said the same thing.

This was so funny to me.

They were like, Yeah, you know, child services says that you guys are crazy.

They're like, We don't have any child services.

And it's like, what?

Are you children?

you all look 40 like i don't understand what's going on i think that there's you all look like tas at a community college yeah they're i guess they're all like i don't know in they have social workers or something that are supposed to be checking on them or they are orphans yeah they are orphans that makes sense so yeah but like if you if you like take this scene at face value it's this kind of moment of like oh the the gangs in this movie are just these like

super,

you know, lower class street kids.

And just once in a while, while you come face to face with these these fucking richies who don't have a care in the world.

It's so it's such a great scene.

It's mostly wordless and like it's like oh this movie did think about something for two seconds before not thinking about anything.

You know, it's really it's like it it really hits you.

I uh I I was really like taken with it.

Um and kind of as they get off the train like Swan hands

like Mercy like one of the corsages.

He's like, it's all on the ground.

And they're just like scooping up the detritus from these rich people and giving it to each other.

It's like, you know, it's like, why?

You're a smart movie.

You could be smart.

This is yeah, go beat up the rich people, which is what you probably do normally.

Like, yeah, I know.

And they all just kind of like look at each other and like realize that there's other people out there.

I don't know.

It's it's really cool.

I agree.

I liked it.

Yeah, that was good.

So we're kind of at the end here.

They're back at Coney Island, but

would you believe it?

The rogues don't give a shit that they're back at their home base and they called safe or whatever.

And that's when you get the clinking of the bottles on the fingers.

He is just chewing up to the sea.

This

guy's delivery is so fucking weird.

And

you understand why this is a meme.

It's instantly memorable.

It's like, yeah.

And like, this guy has insane insane deliveries throughout this movie.

I think it's like where Pauly Shore got his deal from.

It's like a kind of a coked-up 70s Pauly Shore.

It's so wild.

Yeah.

He also, like, that chin is crazy, but also, he's got a big chin that he has a hard time shaving because it looks

irritating.

But I think it added to that character that he's just, yeah, it was hard to tell if it was a makeup choice or if they were just, if they if that's just what his skin naturally does, but it it adds to the um oh, this is a psychopath kind of character.

Oh, for sure.

I mean, their gang is kind of grody, is kind of completely grody.

They're all X-Factors, but yeah, I did, I did love.

I want to play a little bit of the Warriors come to play.

Yeah, yeah.

Warriors

come on to players,

come on to

Everybody packed?

Yeah.

I know.

And then he asks this guy, everyone's packed.

Well, it's also like, he's like, once I get my fingers unstuck from these bottles, I'm going to block you up.

Hang on, one second.

Give me a minute.

I need to get a little bit more.

Can somebody

spit on my hand real quick?

My fingers are stuck in these bottles.

Also,

I remember this actor from Twin Peaks.

That's right.

Yeah, sure.

Yes, yes.

And he's also a wild man in Twin Peaks, especially in The Return.

In The Return, he's like kooky.

He's totally.

I checked out his IMDB.

This guy fucking works.

And I'm sure just like he walked, if you walk into, if you're like a producer and you're reviewing audition tapes and you're like, oh my God, we could have the guy from The Warriors that says, come out to play Yay.

You fucking cast that guy.

Of course you do.

And the crazy thing is, he pretty much looks the same.

Like, his face was never young-looking.

Um, yeah, and oh, yeah, he was in Wild at Heart as well, another David Lynch movie.

He's got, he's, he's cool as fuck.

Looks like he's a musician now.

He's one of the best actors in the movie, and so, yeah, I mean, just in terms of like performances that you remember, like he's he's great because he's just so

in a movie filled with psychotic gang members, he's the most psychotic gang member, and that's, I think that's a, that's a feat.

That's an acting feat.

Okay, so I'm looking at his Wikipedia.

In 2024, he had a cameo as a cop on Warriors, a concept album by Lynn Manuel Miranda, based on the movie.

Oh, my God!

I didn't know that.

Someone else saw that the Warriors

coded.

Yeah.

And it's the wrong person for it.

Oh, God.

Anyone else but Lynn Manuel Miranda for this?

So they have like a big, like final battle on the beach.

And the guy kind of like fesses up that he's the one that shot Cyrus.

Okay, we are almost to the thrilling conclusion of the Warriors, and we're going to talk about it right after this.

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We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

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We're talking about the thrilling conclusion of the Warriors.

The Warriors and the Rogues.

they're on the beach they're fighting um psycho psycho main dude they ask him why he did it and he just he like they say why like why did you shoot cyrus and he's like no reason i just like doing stuff like that

so funny and so psychotic like i would love it if just like that is every villain motivation

like darth vader why did you blow up alderon i just like doing stuff like that

we don't need to do a deep dive into their um how their parents treated them.

We don't need to know about his wound.

Like

I love how much he cried when Swan threw the knife into his arm.

Yeah.

He's just a little guy.

Like it was.

He was a little guy.

Yeah.

The only times we saw blood was that, the beginning when Cyrus got shot and then when our asshole rapey dude got punched by the lady cop and he had a bloody mouth and that's like it.

No other, no other gun.

I know, like, yeah, again, like, the shocking thing, things in this movie aren't the violence, which I think it was, like, at the time, like, oh, how could this movie be so?

Like, it is so weird, like, going back and watching old action movies, like in a world of, like, John Wick and Atomic Blonde and the raid, you're like, it's this, these guys are just shoving each other and swinging bats near each other.

Yeah.

So, this dude, so yeah, gets a knife in the hand, drops the one gun, or I guess the one of two guns in the world um and wouldn't you know it the karate gang was sitting like over a sand dune listening to the whole thing all 50 of them there's so many karate guy i know how did they sneak up we were hiding in the sand

we kind of knew what was gonna go down our dad buried us yeah

You guys have any water?

I got sand in my eyes.

Should have gotta wash my feet before I get in the car.

Oh my god, can you imagine wearing all that black leather and the sand gets?

Yeah, it is an East Coast beach, though.

Who knows?

It's an East Coast beach.

So yeah,

it's probably a little chilly.

But yeah, so the karate gang, here's this whole thing.

And the warriors are cleared.

And our heroes walk into the sunset.

And I should say, we haven't talked too much about the music in this.

It's pretty spare.

There's like a cool theme.

There's a couple of like literal needle drops because there's like a DJ kind of narrating the things.

Like, how does she know about this?

And also, she's like explaining where the Warriors are in their mission.

Like, people just listening to the radio are like, What is she talking about?

Yeah, I was like, I'm just trying to listen to my jams.

Yeah, what are you?

Who are the Warriors?

Apparently, the Warriors shot some guy named Cyrus.

I don't know, call the cops.

Play ain't nowhere to run.

Come on.

But she plays one final needle drop.

It is an Eagle song, and it is the most yacht rock shit I have ever heard in my life.

It's so wild that the movie goes out on this song.

Matt, would you play it?

Absolutely.

Let's rock.

Somewhere out on that horizon.

I like this song.

I do too.

It's a great song.

It is not right for this part in this movie.

I know there must be something better.

So good.

This is, it is, it's great.

It's for Last Call at Margaritaville.

Yes.

That's why we like it so much.

I know.

Yeah.

It's like, these characters probably don't listen to this

to the Eagles.

To the Eagles.

These are supposed to be like 16-year-old street kids in 1979.

They probably don't listen to this.

It's like Ramones or Sex Pestiles.

Come on.

Yeah, maybe the Miss Pops.

This pop exists now, you know?

Like, anyway.

Yeah, this movie is definitely for uncool people to feel cool.

It was made by someone who doesn't know what the point of gangs are.

Right.

Yeah, clearly, like, just someone who read about gangs in a newspaper and then wrote a script.

Emily, you were mentioning at the break, it is based on a novel.

So this novel.

Yeah, I kind of, like, if I liked reading, I'd read that.

I'm interested to see if the novel expands on some of the things we find strange, like, how come no one has guns?

Is this post-apocalyptic, or is there a whole other world out there of people who are living their lives normally?

Why is the subway always empty?

Questions that

you might have answers.

Yeah.

Well, I was looking at the Wikipedia for the book, and it looks like in the book, there's stuff about a kid reading a comic book about

the story as the book is going on.

Throughout the novel, the character Junior reads a comic book version of the story.

I don't, what?

So we have a movie about a novel, about a comic book.

About someone reading a comic book.

Jesus Christ.

I feel like the novel.

I've read it, but maybe we don't need the framing.

Yeah, the novel's not going to give us any answers.

I feel like I don't think it will.

Well, yeah, that's the Warriors.

We're going to tell you what we thought about it, but first we have to talk about who we were the most attracted to in the movie.

It's our signature segment, Hunk Watch.

It's Hunk Watch.

Does anyone have a strong feeling about the Hunks in this movie?

I do.

Emily, yes.

Why don't you kick it off?

Okay,

of course, Swan is

hot, hot, hot.

But my other favorite is Vermin.

He's this guy, is it Terry Mikos or Michos?

I think he's probably Greek.

Um,

he's this kind of cute, short, um, curly-haired guy who I don't.

He's he's cute, he's sweet.

He says he has the biggest dick up front

when they're talking to you.

He's like, I got the biggest one, and it was like, Okay, that one, take that one.

Everyone's seen it.

Vermin's the biggest

one.

Hey, Ajax, hey, Ajax, mine's the biggest, huh?

Oh, yeah.

We all seen it.

All right.

That's all he talks about: is how big stick is.

I know.

I would love that that was like a little running gag in the movie.

Just this guy bringing up his dick at every possible occasion.

Oh, no, the baseball guys are trying to hit my dick off.

It's like, no, they're trying to kill you.

No, they're after my dick.

No, I know what they're after.

Everyone's after it.

Matt, you have a.

Did you have a hunk?

I do.

The hunk of the movie is Rembrandt.

Okay.

Rembrandt is the like smaller.

He's like the younger member of the Warriors.

He's got an Afro.

I think he's like, he looks like he's maybe like Dominican or Puerto Rican.

And he's the one who, when everyone is like making out with the Lizzies, he's very uncomfortable.

The actor is Marcelino Sanchez.

And this is just like, it's one of those things in a movie full of people who are kind of like hard to look at, you know, I would say the majority of the people in this movie are not

like,

I don't know,

they're hot in terms of like their bodies, but like their faces are like, eh, whatever.

70s.

Everyone's very 70s faced, which to me is like, you know, it's.

What is soap?

Yeah, it's not my favorite genre, but this kid.

I've been smoking since I was eight.

He's definitely the prettiest.

He's the prettiest.

he's the most beautiful kid in that movie and he's the only one who i'm like that looks like an actual child like that looks like a a gang member who was in his like late teens early 20s um and he also seemed like the only character who had

um

like

more than one dimension of emotions

like he felt other things other than like hey let's let's hate

girls or run run Yeah.

It was like he

seemed like he had a backstory that we didn't get to hear about that I wish we had.

He was clearly the youngest person, I'd say, in the Warriors.

Yeah, maybe he was meant to be the youngest person in the Warriors, but he's great and also

just beautiful.

He's like the most beautiful person.

Yeah, very pretty.

Marcelino Sanchez.

Marcelino Sanchez.

I'm going to say, hunk for me, the radio, DJ.

We do not see her except for her mouth talking into the microphone.

Great mouth.

Gorgeous voice.

Beautiful voice.

Yeah, and like, as weird as that framing device is, the, like, a radio DJ who's talking about the movie.

Like, it's, you know, every time she comes in, it's really, really great.

And, yeah, and, you know, maybe some of the songs are a little bit out of place, but they're all awesome songs.

They're all like fucking awesome 1979 ass songs.

So, um, all right, those are the those are the hunks of the film, and we're going to rank this movie on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials right after this.

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We're going to rank the Warriors on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials.

Yeah, since I've seen it before, maybe I'll go first and then

I'll let the noobs bring it home.

Yeah, like this movie has so much fun shit in it.

So much great style, so much great music.

Yeah, so many kind of weirdo, funny performances.

Like

the beginning and the end are awesome.

The middle is kind of like slack and a little boring.

I think that like if you're into this kind of shit, you've probably already seen it.

But like if you have an interest in this kind of thing, definitely watch it.

But if you're just kind of like casually like, I've heard of this thing, I know the memes.

I know the catchphrases.

Like,

I think you can just watch clips of it.

I don't think you have to watch this whole movie.

Absolutely.

The good stuff is clipped out on YouTube.

You can listen to some of the songs.

So I think I'm going to give this movie a six.

Yeah, I think it's like

the highs are so, so high, but the rest of it, like a little bit dull.

And, you know, there's some ick in the movie.

There's some like 70s shit that like, you know, wouldn't fly today.

So I think, you know, could be shocking if you watched it with a mixed audience.

But yeah, but I think if you're like, if you're into like kind of sleaze and grindhouse type stuff,

you should probably watch this movie if you haven't already.

Matt, what'd you think?

I would split my

rating into two different ratings.

So the first rating is for the first 10 minutes of the movie.

First 10 minutes of the movie is a nine.

This movie starts out like it's going to be one of the best movies I had never seen as a kid.

And then

Cyrus gets shot

and it's about a three after that.

It is,

so I'm not a math wizard or anything, so

I'm guessing it's some sort of five.

Some sort of five.

Yeah, so I'll give this a five, I guess.

But it really, like, watching the beginning of that movie made me realize, oh, I want to watch that movie, but in the timeline where Cyrus doesn't get shot, and they actually do unite all the gangs and then it could fall apart in Act Three.

I mean, you know, someone later on shoots Cyrus, but as soon as they open it with shooting Cyrus, I just, it just went from a movie where we're going to get to see like, what happens if people work together to like, oh man, now we got to run for an hour and a half.

Like, I don't want to run for an hour.

A lot of running.

A lot of running.

Yeah.

Emily, what'd you think?

I agree with both of what y'all are saying.

And I think that sometimes the way I rate our movies is how great they would be in the background of a party, which in that case would be a 10.

But

when it comes to actually watching the movie, I agree with you, Matt.

The first 10 minutes are awesome.

And there's other chunks that are like super fun.

I definitely feel like I got stuff in my feels for looking at New York City and the subway system.

I love that.

I wish the rogues were in this more.

I wish that we had that psychopath like way more in this movie to build the tension because like the danger didn't feel dangerous.

Like it just felt like we're going to hang out with these guys and have an unnecessary altercation and then the action's going to be boring, but face paint.

So, and also, yes, there are, there's some ick in here, but

I still had fun

going along on the ride, and I didn't have to think too hard.

So

I'm going to go with Jordan and give it a a six as well.

All right.

That's, yeah.

God damn.

That is the Warriors.

Oh, can I say one other thing?

Oh, sure, please.

There's a cool thing that happened in 2015.

They got together

the living remaining members of the Warriors from the cast, and Rolling Stone had all of them ride the subway together and filmed them.

And it's really cute.

I watched that video too.

it's great and i think and i think what you i think you you kind of hit on something emily i think that like if you grew up in new york or if you lived in new york i think this movie is really important to you and i think if you like were a kid at this time and you had never seen like new york kids in a movie even though everyone in this movie is 27 but like a movie about kids in New York and like not white kids in New York, you know, like it's it's so I think like I can see why this movie hit people really hard at the time.

And yeah, they're just like 50-year-old guys, like, crying when these dudes get on the subway.

So, I like, I get it.

Those are fun videos and definitely a really fun, like, supplemental watch.

But also, I think there should be, like, my mom gave me this little map that I had of the subway when I first moved.

And it was like, I relied on that thing until I got an iPhone and then I was able to use Google Maps.

But the Warriors map, like learning where everything is in the city, this movie kind of helps you map out the city.

Oh, I can't can't see.

And the subway.

I was curious about that.

Like, is their route that they go realistic?

They were like, we'll meet at Union Square.

That's where we transfer.

And I was like, ha, yeah.

Okay.

That is a transfer point.

That's where you take the L and you go to Brooklyn.

But yeah, no.

We'll have to watch Collateral sometime and see if that is like a realistic way to get across LA.

Interesting.

Yeah.

And then another thing that I was looking up the guy that played Swan, his name's Michael Beck,

one of my hunk watches.

Cool thing about him, he is the voice of

for Bill Clinton's autobiography for the audiobook.

Okay.

Also, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

He says he is the audiobook voice for 12 John Grisham novels.

Good for you.

Really?

Isn't that crazy?

Good gig.

Good gig if he can get it.

Yeah, and it's up to like 2022.

He's still going.

Good for you, Michael Beck.

Keep on keeping up.

Entertain all our dads on plane rides.

I want to hear you talk about the firm.

I get firm when you come on screen.

Hey, we're going to play our Godzilla Emix contest winner, but first, we're going to do a little bit of plug-in.

You are listening to this on or before January 23rd, you can still come see us at the Punchline Comedy Club Club in San Francisco, California.

7.30.

We're going to be there doing a live episode reviewing Twilight with

the great comic, Shauna Christmas, as part of SF Sketchfest.

So we would love to see y'all there if you haven't gotten a ticket already and you live anywhere near the Bay Area.

What are you doing?

sfsketchfest.com.

You get your ticks there.

We hope folks come out.

Maximumfun.org slash join.

That's where you go to support this show and all the other great shows on Maximum Fun.

We just dropped a bonus episode for Max Fun members on the pilot of the Thunderbirds.

This is the 60s

puppet spy show.

This is something Emily was stoked to watch.

I can't believe this thing.

It's so wild.

And yeah, if you want to listen to us talk about the pilot of Thunderbirds, we're doing that over

on the Max Fun member feed.

And

get ready.

If you're not already a part of this thing, you're going to to want to be because we are doing an episode on the pilot of Pee Wee's Playhouse.

So

make sure you go over to maximumfund.org slash join, support the show, and get yourself some bonus episodes.

Okay,

I think it's time for what everyone has been waiting for.

The winner of the Godzilla Remix contest, this, of course, is someone who went to maxfundstore.com and got themselves a beautiful piece of Free With Ads merch.

In this case, one of our fantastic horror movie t-shirts.

Yay!

They sent us the photo and they requested a song to be Godzilla remixed

I think I'm gonna say the name of the of the winner and not the song because the song will be immediately recognizable and you know not my version of it

okay

this is this is Sean Atwood thank you very much to Sean and everybody who who grabbed a little piece of merch and sent us a pick very fun to see y'all in your free with ad shirts your the worst hat hats all that stuff MaxFunStore.com.

The contest is over, but the merch is still there.

Grab yourself some and support the show.

All right, tune in next week when our movie will be Twilight.

And now, the Godzilla Remix.

Every night in my dreams,

I see you,

I feel

you.

That's how I know your God,

Zillow

far across the distance

and spaces

between

us,

you've come to show your Godzilla,

and I believe

that

you are God's love.

Once

more,

you open

and roar,

and I believe

that

you are God.

Your name is

God's

love,

this big lizard guy,

God lasers

in his

eyes,

and I love his small lizard son.

Marshal Tom shone at wood,

your picture

it looked

good,

and in return, you got

syllable

near

far.

You are

God's ill love.

And I believe

that

your name's God

One

small

you open

and roar

I believe that you name it

you're fucking

Godzilla

Oh, how's it going, Godzilla?

Oh, you don't say, you don't say.

So, um, I was thinking,

yeah, I was thinking that maybe you and me,

yeah, you and me could uh

go out back and uh

you're

here.

You are

nuclear,

and I know

that

you are Godzilla

Small

brain,

but gas power flames

out your mouth.

And I know that

you must be

God's sailor

from your daddy.

I love the way

your atomic breath tastes

You set my

testicles on fire girl

I love you so much Godzilla

I wanna

I wanna ask you something

Would you do me the honor

of being

my wife?

Yes, this is the happiest day of my life, Godzilla.

And maybe you and I will have our own son of Godzilla.

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