Dick Tracy

This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asked the question: why pay max 10 bucks a month for a bunch of comic book movies when you can go online for free and watch a movie about the original comic book hero who doesn't need a bunch of CGI superpowers because he's got a really cool watch.

I'm Jordan Morris, and I'm Emily Fleming.

Today's movie is Dick Tracy, one of the many movies that prove that there's nothing 90s kids love more than references to the 1940s noir movies and silent film serials.

And with us always is super producer Matt swarming us with carnivorous drops.

I want them dead.

Yeah.

I was positive today's drop was going to be mumbles.

Baby did it.

Baby did it.

Considered it.

I considered it.

But I love Nissan Pacino.

Especially

a yelly pacino.

A yelly.

Yeah, when we did The Godfather, I think we were all kind of

like

interested in the fact.

Yeah, he's this small, subtle, internal, quiet actor who's acting all in his face, and then, like, this is the pacino of our childhood.

Did it start here?

Did his being insane in every movie start with this?

I love being big boy, it's all I'm gonna do.

I think he tried it out with Scarface, and that this cemented it.

You're right, yeah, like this,

but this is what really the comical screamy show is.

Yeah, it's weird because I know he's playing a character that's supposed to be like big, but I'm like, that's just what, that's just what Pacino does.

Like he wasn't overacting.

It wasn't like, oh, this is a parody.

I was like, no, that's literally what he does.

He's just like, and she had a great ass.

That's like his

whole thing.

It's like he's doing his character from heat, but he's doing it as a joke here.

Right, done for, he's like, I think I'll do it like this in serious movies.

In this movie, though, it looks like they glued his eyelids open.

I didn't see him blink once.

A lot of glue involved in this movie.

A lot of things glued on

the movie.

And we'll talk about it in just a second.

But before we keep talking about Dick Tracy, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week.

Other free stuff.

This is a movie-related news item that I read on msn.com, my source for news.

I'm always hanging out on msn.com.

I love it.

It's my homepage.

Oh, it's a great place to go for all the latest.

It's got news and other things.

I love my news and my stocks.

Right.

Matt, if you've got your news and your stocks, you're happy.

Who needs to do?

What else do you need?

Family and love.

Yeah, and movie times.

Sure.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You can also get.

Well, this is actually a movie-related news item.

It is National Popcorn Day coming up on the 19th.

So the theater chain Cinemark is doing a promotion.

And this is the headline about the promotion.

Anything can be a popcorn bucket with the their own bucket promo from Cinemark.

So, you guys know how on free Slurpee Day, they just do a thing where you can fill anything with Slurpee.

Yeah.

So, it's like you see these viral photos of these like 14-year-old scumbags bringing an aquarium in 2007-Eleven.

I beat the system.

Now, I have Slurpee all day.

Yeah,

This isn't going to get disgusting in 40 minutes.

These kids get swarmed with bees as soon as they come out.

So they're now going to try this with popcorn at Cinemark theaters.

Okay.

Wow.

Anything can be a bucket, huh?

And if you bring it in for five bucks on January 19th, they have to fill it with popcorn.

No fucking questions asked.

Anything?

Is it free?

Is it free popcorn?

It's five bucks.

Okay.

So, you know, pretty good price as far as movie theater.

Very good.

Very good.

Very reasonable.

But they have to fill it no matter what.

They have to fill it.

And here's my...

Okay.

Do you guys remember the Doubledare pants?

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Do you remember

the Nickelodeon game show Double Dare?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you had to fit all that slop in there.

I don't know what that was.

Like, what was that?

I'm going to say, if we can,

we're in Los Angeles.

There has to be a props department somewhere that has old props.

If someone can find me the giant pants from Doubledare that dad would wear and then get filled with slop, I would love to walk in wearing the fucking pants and just say, fill these with popcorn.

It's a bucket.

And then just reach into my pants during a showing of Nosferatu concerts.

We're in the biz.

We're in the biz.

Someone's got to know Mark Summers.

Someone's got to know Mark Summers.

Well, I mean, this is what's interesting to me because now the movie popcorn buckets that are associated with the movie, the merch items, are getting more and more ridiculous.

The Nosferatu is just like a coffin for a baby, and then they put popcorn in it.

And I'm like, that's not a bucket.

That's sad.

Have you guys seen that movie?

Yes, I saw it.

No, I still haven't.

I mean, spoiler alert, spoiler alert, spoiler alert.

There is a baby coffin in the movie.

So, like, that is kind of grim.

You think they knew knew that when they were making the merch popcorn bucket?

Where they were just like, no, we meant small.

I could see now.

It's not for a baby that the vampire killed.

Yeah, to be fair,

the baby is still is undead, but alive in a sense.

Yeah, I should, I think it would have been great for my American girl doll.

I should have gotten the coffee.

Oh, yeah.

For when you finally lay it to rest, you just bury it in the backyard.

Well, I'm giving her like new identities, you You know, I'm trying to like mix up her wardrobe and things.

Anyway, I do want to get the coffin for my American Girl doll, but now people are, they buy them up and then they put them on eBay for like $300.

Really?

Yes.

Oh, my God.

I would love to know what...

Collectors items now.

Is the big one still the dune butthole?

I think that's what started the kind of craze with all of it.

Like, I think it's been happening a while, but people started getting more excited about it, and they all seem cumbersome and not like usable.

Like the Dune popcorn bucket looks like it would rip your fucking hand off after you bring it out.

How do you get the popcorn?

That's double dare pants.

I'm telling you, that's why double dare pants are the best bucket.

You just reach in like you're about to scratch your balls, but you're not.

You're getting juicy popcorn.

Yeah, that's what it was.

They were going through

juicy.

Give me the juice.

It was slime, but there were dollar bills in it.

And they were like having to find the stuff and and then just put it in their pants.

God, what a blast from the past.

That's crazy.

Well, yeah, okay.

If anybody, listen, if anybody

has a window on a dune popcorn bucket or some giant pants, let us know, free with ads at maximumfund.org.

Hey, we're going to talk about Dick Tracy.

This is kind of fun because I feel like we've been talking about it constantly on the show.

Every time there's a craggy looking man in a movie, we say he looks like a Dick Tracy villain.

And now we get to actually watch Dick Tracy.

Emily, what was your relationship to this movie girl?

My dad, and I think my granddad, my dad's dad,

I think we went to go see this together.

And I do remember the villains being scary to me, but I also remember it feeling very glamorous

and like cool.

Like I remember the colors were cool, but every time the villains would be on screen, I'd be like, I can't wait for this scene to be over.

And

in particular, the Dustin Hoffman mumble mumble character is the most terrifying nightmare fuel I've ever seen in my life.

If you have not watched this movie, I'm sure you've seen the villains at some point online.

They're kind of memes.

They are just, they're under all these wild prosthetics.

It's people like Prune Face and Little Face.

Which they all look like Prune Face to be.

Yeah, they could all be.

That's a great point, Emily.

These people could all be Prune Face.

It fits them all.

So yeah, they all look like they're all under this kind of crazy practical makeup.

It looks really cool, but very scary.

I'm sure we all, yeah, I think I was like eight when this movie came out.

Yeah.

And yeah,

this is, I can think, marketed as a kids' movie, but I think it is too old for anyone over 55, I'm going to say.

Yeah.

That's the,

anyway, but I was, I saw this a ton of times.

I was obsessed with this.

We had it on VHS.

I loved it.

I loved it.

Now that I think about it, I was probably too young to see this.

Oh, sure.

Yes.

Everyone is too young to see this.

I was four or five.

Yeah, so I saw this at a drive-in theater,

and I saw it at the same age as you, Emily.

You know, this is like five or six.

And it was mostly horrifying because it was like the scariest looking bad guys a child could imagine with submachine guns.

Yeah.

And

it was also, it was like, what if it was scary and also

played like one of those old movies my parents watches?

So it was like, everything about it was strange to me.

And then also it was too sexy for me.

I was like,

I'm out.

I can't take this much Madonna.

I'm just a boy.

I mean,

I'm a Tess Truehart girl myself.

I think that's one of the most beautiful looking characters I've ever seen.

There's

a lot of dyads in pop culture.

You know, Mary Ann Ginger, Betty Veronica, Tess Truehart, and, oh, God, what's Madonna say?

Breathless Mahoney.

Yes.

Breathless.

I don't remember her saying her name once.

Someone says it at some point.

For sure.

And I remember going, like, that's Madonna's name in this.

All right, fine.

So this movie, I think we've all been kind of.

It should have been Tone Death Mahoney.

Sorry.

I think we've all kind of been like looking for this movie because i think it was very big to like people around our age it was like very in pop culture and then it kind of just disappeared they never made a sequel it didn't really play on cable that much didn't like do well

so i so i think what happened uh if if wikipedia is to be believed it did really well but they wanted it to be batman so batman was the year before this hence the Danny Elfman music in this movie that sounds exactly like the fucking Batman this is Danny Elfman Yeah, so Danny Elfman did the score, and all the songs that Madonna sings are done by Steven Sondheim.

Stephen fucking Sondheim.

It is the most.

It's great, too.

I love the songs in this.

It is so stacked in every sense.

Like the cast is stacked, the music is stacked.

It's too stacked, if you ask me.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know some people aren't.

Madonna is stacked for like one line.

And there are some famous people with no lines in the movie.

Catherine O'Hara is in it.

Catherine O'Hara.

At the table.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's got to have a cutscene or something.

Anyway,

Dustin Hoffman is unintelligible for most of the movie.

And a nightmare.

But then also,

who's the guy from Misery?

James Conn.

Oh, James Kahn's in this.

Yeah,

Little Godfather Reunion.

James Kahn just like

gets up and leaves the room and then his car blows up.

Yeah, the James Kahn, though, when I saw him, because he had like prosthetics on that weren't necessary in any way.

He just looked like he was a little bit more, he was like James Kahn in a little bit of 3D.

Yeah, he looked like James Conn Sr.

Yeah, they put more silly putty on his face.

I don't know, but I thought he was Robert De Niro at first because of that silly putty on his face.

Oh, that would have been silly.

And I went, this is rad.

And then it's

prosthetic face.

Yeah.

So I think there's just been weird rights things with this movie because Warren Beatty owns the character and never did anything with it.

But I guess,

you know, a couple couple times a year to retain the rights to the character, he has to appear on film somehow as Dick Tracy.

Really?

Then no one else can make a Dick Tracy movie.

Yeah, there's been a couple good podcasts that have gone into this in a really fun way.

Podcast The Ride with a guest with Eva Anderson as the guest did something on this.

And the great podcast, Decoder Ring, does a deep dive on this.

It's really interesting.

So

Warren Beatty, to keep the rights to Dick Tracy, does a special on Turner Classic Movies as as him once every couple years, and it only airs once and then it disappears.

But they've all been like uploaded to YouTube.

They're really fucking weird.

There's one where he just gets interviewed by Leonard Malton.

I have a clip from how weird these things are.

Matt, can you play a little bit of this?

I think he thinks they're funny.

All right.

I'm going to be 107 in July.

Yes.

No.

Yeah.

107.

107.

That is amazing.

Yeah.

Do you have some secret you can share with everybody?

SP.

Small portions.

Small portions.

And exercise.

And,

of course, pomegranate.

Once in a while, you know, we'll have a blueberry.

You know.

Nobody ever went wrong with our friend the blueberry.

Shall we begin?

Yes.

Dick Tracy's famous line, there's nothing wrong with our friend the blueberry.

I'm not even sure he remembers the character.

Yeah.

He's like, all I know is I kind of got a man in the yellow hat type vibe.

Yeah, he has the hat, he has the coat in these, and he's just goofing around with Leonard Malton, and now no one else can make Dick Tracy movies until he dies.

I love that.

Well, honestly, does anyone want to?

Who gives a shit?

What I don't understand is that,

like,

if this were copyright infringement, you know what I mean?

Like, if it was like, now no one can do, but it's like, it's a copyrighted character.

Doesn't he have to give permission in order for him to, for other people to do the character?

This just all seems like an excuse to every couple of years talk to Leonard Moulton, which I'm sure he could do over a cup of coffee.

Right.

Or just that he is Dick Tracy and he's hoping to go down in history as the only Dick Tracy after the 60s.

Because there was a series in like the 50s and stuff, but like a TV series.

Yeah, so there's been like filmed Dick Tracy stuff in the past, but it hadn't been around for a long time.

He was a Dick Tracy, a newspaper strip comic character.

So he was like in the newspaper.

Yeah, so I guess there's Warren Beatty always wanted to play him and now just like doesn't want to live to see anybody else do it.

I'm sure as soon as he dies, the next day it's like Glenn Powell, Glenn Powell is Dick Tracy.

It's going to happen.

Honestly, I think that this is a, I saw something on Google about like, you know, theories of people who could bring it back.

And I think Don,

what's this?

What's this?

John Ham

yeah John would be a good Dick Tracy John Ham would be the hottest Dick Tracy ever he and it's hard to like put him in stuff because he does like John Ham looks like he belongs in a specific time period yeah he doesn't look like he belongs in 2025 yeah at all he's too handsome for modern days yeah it would be have to be a period thing yeah because I think every time John Hamm tries to play an FBI agent or something it's like what's this guy doing yeah this guy's never

on a smartphone before.

Yeah, it looks like there were a lot of Dick Tracy movies in like the 30s and 40s.

And yeah, I think they were like serials that played before movies, you know.

Like you got a little episode of Dick Tracy.

Well, yeah, the character's been around a long time.

This has been the only kind of recent filmed thing with him.

Well, yeah, let's actually talk about the movie.

So we start with a close-up of a cop radio.

There's a crime going on.

And then we see someone grabbing their iconic cop stuff.

A badge, a gun, and a watch.

Yeah, Dick Tracy

with a little screen in it.

Oh, although maybe this doesn't have the screen yet.

Maybe this just has, it's like a two-way radio.

It just looked like one of those things on the wall back in the day that would be like,

you know, a paging, whatever.

It just looks like, you know, in the school.

Sure.

Yeah, like the speaker.

Yeah, it's like a gold speaker.

but i i did we have a new sting about film tech and i think this belongs in this big film tech i just remember this watch being like a big deal like it was a

cool thing iconic yeah and it's really pretty and i don't know i love it everything in this movie is so stylish and cool um it did look like To me, as soon as it started in the like credits at the beginning or whatever, it looks like Sin City if it was in color, kind of.

Yeah, this movie has a really great aesthetic.

There's a lot of like hand-painted backgrounds, and a little bit cool world, huh?

A little, you know, a little cool world.

Yeah, I know.

I think

Cool World are like, we'll give you Dick Tracy at a third of the budget.

Yeah, yeah.

No one will know.

Yes.

Dick Tracy crawled so that, you know, so that Cool World could run.

Exactly.

Yes.

So yeah, they,

so yeah, everything looks really cool in this movie.

And yeah, it's great to see, like, a comic book thing where they don't run from the comics.

They're like excited about them, you know, they want it to look like the comics.

I think, like, the great modern example of this is Into the Spider-Verse, right?

That, like, looks like you're fucking reading a comic book, and it's so cool.

Uh, yeah, so it's, it, it's kind of shitty when they, like, adapt a comic and they're like, let's not make it remind anyone of the character, and let's not make it look like that, because comics are lame.

Like, so, very cool.

The look of this movie is totally awesome.

Um, yeah, and so Dick Tracy, he knows about this crime, and he's got to go stop it.

And then we see a little orphan kid known as the kid, and he's sneaking around.

He's a little orphan, he's a sneaking

pocket picking orphan, and he finds a poker game full of mobsters.

That's right.

They're a bunch of mobsters having a poker game.

One of the, you know, they're a mean, they're a mean bunch.

One of them picks up a cat and throws it.

I don't remember that part.

Oh, yeah.

I remember anytime something bad happens to a cat and you're cataloging it.

You're like, oh, that's how I know you're bad, guys.

Oh, dang, there should be another sting.

Because we see the cats we see like from Black Christmas.

There's like things we're like, I hope that cat's going to be okay.

Spoil alert for Nos Ferachu.

The cat's okay at the end of Nosferachu.

I really appreciate it.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I was like,

that cat's gone for.

Oh, yeah, me too.

Me too.

I'm like, that cat's dying a very painful and erotic death.

Yeah, but instead he went for the human children.

Sure.

I think that was fine.

Yeah.

Get those kids, snuff them into little popcorn coffins.

Why is that so funny?

So, yeah, this kid's watching this poker game.

There's a bunch of creepy-faced villains there, including Little Face.

He's got a little tiny face on a big head.

Hey, you know what you can say about a guy with a little face, don't you?

I do not.

Me too.

Little teeth.

Little teeth.

Little tiny teeth.

Little glam.

The funny thing is, like, and a big dick.

Patty cock.

Patty cock.

Bill face dick dick.

I really, Jordan, I really, really hope that you've got a list of villains

names.

You know what?

Here's what I wanted to do list-wise.

And maybe if there's demand, maybe I'll do this in a future episode.

I wanted to do a list of

deleted Madonna names for this.

I didn't get around to it because of world events.

Sure.

But maybe for a future episode, we will unearth a clip of all the deleted Madonna names.

Yes, that sounds great.

I'd love that.

Yeah, but yeah,

a lot of good weird names.

I didn't know the names of all these things.

Like, Prune Face, I heard that and went, yeah.

And then Mumbles, you heard it before he started talking, and then it was funny at first.

And then I was, that thing is.

Kind of keeps going, huh?

The more it kept going, the more terrifying it was.

Well, the more mad I was getting because I was like, can we give Dustin Hoffman some lines?

He's Dustin fucking Hoffman.

I know.

He probably had some lines, if you know what I mean, before doing this.

Do you know what I mean?

Little fancy.

But you know what?

But you know what's interesting is that little boy,

he's from a hook.

Yes.

He's from everything in the 90s.

What about Bob?

He was in the hook.

This is one of the most interesting things.

And he's with Dustin Hoffman in the same movie again.

Yes.

So his name is Charlie Corsmo.

Do you guys want me to tell you about his post-acting career?

I was a little, I was thinking about this.

He's a Republican, and he's kind of, I don't know.

You go.

I'm just going to say crypto.

If it's crypto, okay, okay.

So listen,

he might, yes, he might be a Republican, but he did, he earned a degree in physics from MIT.

He has worked for the EPA and for, yes, the Republican Party.

And he received his Juris Doctor degree from Yale Law School in 2006.

This guy earned a degree in physics from MIT and from Yale Law School.

He is a jurisdictor.

Incredible.

And also,

in May 2011, it was announced that Corsmo had been nominated by President Barack Obama as a member of the Board of Trustees of the Barry Goldwater Scholarship in Excellence in Education.

So, you know, it's a bipartisan thing, I assume.

But, I mean,

listen, for a child actor to do

something like that, I mean, that's pretty great.

Sure.

I mean, he's probably the best, I'd say, crier that I've seen.

Oh, my God.

He's great at crying.

It breaks your heart every time.

Like, he just really breaks your heart.

This kid just wants you to come to his fucking T-ball game.

He just wants to do it.

Why can't you come to his t-ball game?

Why even try?

He was like, You love your job and your office so much.

So good.

God, I want to watch Hook now, man.

Oh, yeah.

You always want stuff.

You're just like, I want a cookie.

I want a party.

I want to stay up.

I want, I want, I want me.

I want to watch Hook for the podcast.

My, mine now, now,

now.

Damn, Matt, that was like

amazing.

You're a real hookhead over here.

I'm a real hookhead.

I think when my wife and I were discussing whether or not to have kids, that is what I said.

I was like, I'm tired of living just for myself.

You know, it's like, oh, I want a cookie.

I want a party.

I want, I want.

Me, me, mine.

I like, never let me blow bubbles in my chocolate milk.

Yeah.

I want a new sting for the podcast.

I want you to make a little song where Godzilla roars.

Now, now, now, now.

So, yeah, so the kid sees all this mob stuff go down, and Dick Tracy gets a call on the watch.

He's at the opera with Tess Truehart.

Tess Truehart,

Dick Tracy's girlfriend, and this long-suffering girlfriend.

I really like this gag with the opera.

He's like, I'll be right back.

I want to know how it turns out.

And then he comes back to the opera to see how it

ended.

That's a good, I think the humor in this movie, there's a lot of funny ideas, but I don't think they're done right all the time, but there's a lot of neat ideas in this.

Anyway, and I love this opera thing.

So somebody breaks into that poker game, kills all the gangsters.

They write out Eat Lead Tracy

on the wall in machine gun bullets.

Damn.

And then we go to Madonna, Breathless Mahoney.

She's singing a song written by Stephen Sondheim.

Did you guys know I was in Into the Woods in high school?

That started my Steven Sondheim fandom.

God, that's a hard musical.

Oh, yeah.

So I was the narrator, so I only had to talk-sing.

So I only had to talk, sing.

I didn't have to hit a note.

I just had to do talking and say it's kind of in rhythm.

That rules.

Thank you.

I am.

It was very good.

Anyway, but Stephen Sondheim, the fucking best.

She is singing, and there's a gross guy eating oysters.

Oh, my God.

The eating in this movie is fucking disgusting.

Does Paul Servin

eating?

Oh, Paul Sorvino, you're right.

Yeah,

this guy's a mobster.

In this movie, you're either a mobster or a cop or a woman.

You're one of three things.

He's a mobster, of course.

The cops come in and they drag him and Breathless Mahoney out.

But wait, they're not cops.

They're actually mobsters.

They're one of the three things.

So they're kidnapped.

Dick Tracy starts chasing the kid around.

The kid stole a watch.

He goes to like, the kid is

like the pickpocket ward of like a scumbag.

It might be his dad.

They never really explain it.

So Dick Tracy kind of fights this guy.

There's a really funny shot of him fighting the guy.

And they're in like a little shack.

And then there's a big wide shot of the shack.

And it's just like shaking around while they're fighting.

There's some good like visual jokes about that in this.

So yeah.

So Dick Tracy is kind of like,

you know, like in charge of this kid now.

He wants to set him on the right path.

So back at the kind of mobster story, Al Pacino makes this guy, Paul Sorvino, sign over the deed to his club.

And then he, then he

douses him in cement.

It's called, what is it called?

They call it something.

It's called like, oh, the bath, the bath.

The bath.

That is truly terrifying.

Yeah, it is.

It's totally terrifying.

Well, it's like, because that means you are just drowning and slowly, like, you're being buried alive in cement.

Like, that's worse than sand.

No, totally.

i know off to death yeah

it was and it's played in this way where it's like well isn't this ridiculous but

as a kid i was just like wait how are they killing this guy why am i watching this and why are we in the fucking car

yeah well also like but also like Roger Rabbit with the death dipping into acid.

Oh, yeah.

It was like, they thought, ah, these kids are tough.

They could take it.

And they just

speaking of hook, the boo box.

Oh, yeah, the boo box.

Another one.

Another one that was like freaky as fuck.

And they acted.

It's weird because these are things that I think every kid who watched these movies as kids remembers.

And the adults didn't even, it wasn't even a second thought.

They were like, oh, yeah.

It's like, no, these are forever nightmares.

These are formative memories you are creating.

But it did up the stakes.

It did make things more urgent and it did help the story story along in a way.

But that, yeah, that cement thing was really terrifying.

Freaky.

Very freaky.

So this is all kind of being orchestrated by Al Pacino, big boy, he's killing off all the other mobsters.

And then we cut.

So he got this guy's, the deed to this guy's club, he got through this, through this kidnapping scheme.

There is a great,

what follows is such a funny little scene.

So he talked about wanting to be in show business, and then they cut to him actually like directing Madonna and her dancers in this

such a funny idea of this guy wanting a club to be in show business.

Like, oh, no, he actually wants to direct them.

He's being like a weird asshole about it, but like it's, it's, I don't know, a really funny idea.

And Al Pagino's being like really funny in this scene.

I don't know.

I kind of got some PTSD because

I've had a job where the person who was funding the thing would show up and like hate everything

and yell at him.

Yeah, this is exactly that.

This is exactly that.

Like the money guy gets to have his say.

Yes,

it just felt very real.

It's the fun thing about doing a podcast is you don't have one of those, you have a thousand of them.

And they all have opinions.

They'll email you about it.

And you know what?

We love your opinions.

And we love them.

Free with that.

It's at maximumfun.org.

Tell us that

we're not addressing the plight of the sperm whale enough on this.

Yes, please.

You have a thing and we're not talking about it and you're mad because you want us to talk about your thing.

Feel free about being mad at me for not liking bats.

I'm sorry.

I don't like bats.

Yeah.

Jeez, Louise.

I really thought people were going to come down on me for the radio head stuff.

I don't, I think

I were real nice to me.

So the music in this is great.

But I think there is a better Dick Tracy-related song.

In 1961, there's a garage rock band called The Chance,

and they they released a song about Dick Tracy, who was just, you know, like in these serials and in, you know, newspaper comics.

It fucking rules.

The strokes should have covered it in 2005.

Matt, do you have a little clip in this?

I sure do.

Dick Tracy said he's got a bulldog jowler.

Dick Tracy said, why he's the arm of allow.

Dick Tracy said, well, he can prove what they say.

Crime doesn't ever fake.

Yeah.

Now who's the devil?

That's amazing.

Fucking great song.

Anyway.

Rules.

They should have had Madonna sing that for this movie.

Or not for the movie.

At the very least, they should have had Godzilla roaring behind in the brand.

I wonder what that would sound.

Oh, my God.

I wonder what that would sound.

I want to hear Godzilla.

Now, now, now.

Now, mine, mine.

I love all the emails are going to be that forever.

So that's okay.

Emily, I think

you bring up

a good point for us to talk about this.

I feel like Madonna got so much shit after this movie for being a bad actor.

Oh, no, no, Madonna.

That wasn't the problem.

What do you think the issue is?

Has Madonna always been a bad singer?

Oh, I don't know.

I love the songs in this, so I'm not judging them objectively.

I just really like them.

So maybe she, yeah I mean she's maybe like more personality than she is to me not a bad singer I think she can carry a tune but a very specific singer yes she's a very specific singer lounge singer she is not

I

mean it was

okay

there's some people that don't know how to have like brabrato like you you know Matt I know and so instead of like actually having brabrado they'll go haha like that yeah yeah like like they're a Tommy gun in the back of their throat And that's what she does.

Like, she's not.

And then it was just rough.

I just remember going, I love Madonna and I love some of her music.

And then I started listening, Ray of Light is my favorite album by her.

And I started listening to it and I was like, oh no.

She's always been bad.

Like, I don't know.

It's like,

I feel bad for saying that.

She's very specific.

I thought her acting in this was good, honestly.

Yeah, I thought she was fine as an actress.

Yeah, the acting was great.

Madonna is good in this movie.

I think Warren Beatty is bad in this movie.

Yeah.

I think Warren Beatty is doing

nothing.

Like, if you look, I mean, it's so hard not to compare this to Batman.

Like, Michael Keaton fucking makes all these wild choices for Batman.

He makes it such a funny, weird, interesting character.

And, you know, obviously this is a different thing, but...

But he just lets the fucking jacket do the work.

Warren Beatty is doing...

And everything is so underwritten in this movie.

No one has any backstory.

You're just supposed to, I, it feels like you're watching Dick Tracy 5.

Like,

like, they don't introduce anyone.

No one has a history.

And I think Warren Beatty, like, this movie looks so cool.

And obviously, like, he had such a vision for how it could look, but, like,

he's doing jack shit in it.

I mean, his face is doing some work, too.

He's very

handsome, handsome man.

He looks cool.

Well, in comparison to all the people with the putty on their face.

Yeah, that's very true, but he's not my hunk watch, by the way.

Oh, this is going to be an interesting hunk watch.

I can't imagine what it is.

We'll get there when we get there.

We'll get there when we get there.

So, Dick Tracy, there's the thing of him adopting the kid.

He takes the kid around.

They get him some new clothes.

That's really cute.

Cute.

His kid's hungry all the time.

He's a little orphan.

He just eats, eats, eats.

I loved this as a kid.

I love the idea of just being able to eat wherever I, you know, whenever I wanted to.

When do we eat?

That's what the kids like Little Watch Face.

Yeah.

And of course, all the eating is disgusting because apparently Warren Beatty hates food.

He just thinks that it's foul that we humans would stuff protein into our mouths.

He's also the only customer at that diner.

That diner is empty all the time.

The owner of that diner is

the other man.

Like the other type of man.

There's either either

a cop.

Business owner.

Yeah, there is a business owner.

Worker man.

Worker man.

Man who work.

Yeah.

uh so yeah they give the kid a baseball glove that's really cute uh he tries in the diner in the in the diner where he's the only customer he tries to propose to tess but he can't get it out well no he tries to propose her in the car first yeah so that's kind of a little running thing of this he like he wants to ask test to marry him and he can't do it and you know he's obsessed with his job they're both kind of lone wolves i think that's a really interesting little relationship is they both kind of like

we're fine like this right this is fine Like, they're both kind of like modern.

I don't think I know what Tessa's job is, but like, I think it's implied that she loves, yes, her job is a woman.

Yeah, her job is a woman.

She goes to a work factory.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No.

Being a woman is such a boys' club.

That's why I came in.

Yeah, but she

says, she constantly says, I like living alone.

But then she kind of is longingly, she wants him to ask him to marry her.

But I think that, I think that's the truth about all marriage.

Like, the fantasy of getting married and the ring and the whole thing, I want it so bad.

And then all the other stuff, no, I could, you know,

I don't need it.

You can be married and not necessarily have to sleep in the same bed.

Did you guys know that?

I definitely think that's a good idea.

I think having separate, I snore real bad.

It's bad.

I think I might have sleep apnea.

I don't know how you find out if you have it or not.

Oh, it's a whole thing you have to do.

You know, know, you're going to test.

They'll send you a thing.

They'll send you a thing.

You got to sleep with it.

It monitors you.

Mail them the thing.

Good luck sleeping with this goddamn thing in your nose.

I'd rather just die in my sleep.

That's how I feel.

You know, what a way to go.

My body wants it.

Who am I?

What am I?

God.

Yeah, exactly.

This is God's plight for me.

God's plan.

Yeah, yeah.

Just fold me up into a little cube and put me in a baby coffin.

Fill it with popcorn for five hundred bucks.

Fill it with popcorn and yeet me into into the ocean.

There you go.

Oh, to be yeeted.

I would love to be yeeted.

Wouldn't that be great?

Okay, so he can't do it.

He can't propose the test.

This mob war is going on.

Big boy calls in like all the other mobsters.

Prune face.

Catherine O'Hara is there as Texi Garcia.

I don't know if they ever say that or if I just looked it up on Wikipedia.

She has no lines.

It's weird.

Yeah, that's where we get James Conn's little cameo.

And then the mobsters, they kidnap Dick Tracy and they put him in this,

like, they put him in the basement of Tessa's apartment, and they're going to like blow up the boiler.

The kid saves him,

and then we get, like, Madonna breaking into his office.

So he and Madonna have this thing.

She just, like, is so crazy hot for him.

She comes in.

They have, like, and you're not sure why necessarily, other than that he's Dick Tracy.

They, like, you know, and obviously he's, like, super handsome and looks great.

So that's probably just the explanation for it.

Well, I mean, you kind of find out, I guess, a little bit of why at the end.

Oh, yeah, maybe you do.

She's a femme fatale, and femme's are always manipulative and tricky, and they have ulterior motives that are not seen until the end.

Yeah, and I think that's, that's a big part of this movie is there's a lot of shorthand, right?

Because it's such a like mishmash of genres.

It's like, well, this is happening because this happens in these movies, you know?

And I, you know, and I think obviously it's like super entertaining and works in a lot of ways.

So sometimes that's fine, but sometimes you're like, why is this happening?

Anyway,

she comes in, she's eating an ice cream.

Emily,

there's a very erotic ice cream scene.

What happens in this?

It's not that erotic, actually.

This scene when she breaks into Dick Tracy's office, Madonna's character, she does this thing where she climbs up on his desk, and it's not even very feline.

It's just kind of, she's,

what's it, like, planking?

I don't know.

It was kind of like.

Yeah, she's doing like there's, there's like a fucking, I don't know, yoga pose where you just kind of get on all fours and sit there.

And it was like, she's trying to kind of flirt with him.

And then

Tess Truehart and the boy come in, and she's got two ice cream cones, and she walks in and sees all this.

They're like making out.

Yeah.

Also, like, there's a point in the movie where Madonna comes in his office, and she's just holding a glass full of champagne.

I like the idea of her walking through town and through this office building, just holding a glass of champagne.

I mean, that's very Rihanna.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

Yeah, Rihanna.

I mean, that's, if I could do that, I would do it, but it's fucking dry January.

I can't do shit.

You got to walk around with a mocktail.

I got a Sprite Zero.

That's what I, and my stomach hurts, y'all.

It hurts.

Oh, man.

I'm drinking too many of these Sprite Zeros.

Quick, go to a bar and get $17 juice.

Yeah,

just in terms of that scene, I felt a little bit miffed that at no point did

the girlfriend character, what's her name, Truehart?

Tess Truehart.

Tess Truehart,

ever addressed the I caught you kissing another woman thing.

Yeah, she just kind of lets it slide.

And maybe that's, I mean, they are such a, you know, modern couple.

Maybe they're just like, all right, okay, you know, maybe they're more.

She leaves.

She does leave, but she's leaving because of, like, she never directly addresses that being, you know, something that happened.

And so that was part of it.

He never gets to have that moment where he's like, I can't believe this happened.

I'm so sorry.

It just moving on.

And I'm like, yo, that is going to fester.

And this is going to doom the relationship.

That is the being a cool girl thing.

And it's like, it don't work, man.

And there should be a scene of them at their couples therapist.

Yeah.

It's another like ghastly looking motherfucker with way too much putty on his face.

He should have giant ears because he's such a great listener.

Oh, no, he'll be shrink face.

Oh, there we go.

Yeah,

and his face just shrinks throughout the session

and then he turns into dust.

Just that over and over.

It's played by M.

Emmett Walsh.

Wow, M.

Emmett Walsh is underneath all that makeup.

Everyone's in this.

That'll be a $5 copay.

When do we eat?

Shrink face.

That's not your catchphrase.

I'm taking it.

Anyway,

so there's this other kind of little plot going on.

There's a villain called No Face.

No Face.

It's a villain with no face.

Kind of looks like the DC character of The Question, if people know The Question.

Anyway, it's just got two slits for eyes.

Or two weird slits for eyes.

Sort of

Rorschark vibes.

A little Rorschach, short.

Rorschach.

Oh, yeah.

Rorschark.

And

he is like blackmailing

the piano player at the bar.

88 Keys, fucking great names, played by Mandy Potinkin.

Mandy fucking Patinkins in there.

Patinkinkins.

And he has a song with Madonna, and this was like a single.

There's like a music video of them singing that song together.

It is fucking great.

Mandy Potinkin rolls.

I just want to say Mandy Potinkin singing with Madonna, where Mandy Patinkin is like an amazing singer and was done Broadway.

And I was just watching him sing with Madonna, and I could see his soul start to die a little bit while he was singing with her.

Because he's so good.

And then it was like, Come on, Madonna, find it.

Find the note, baby.

He's like, find the note.

Why isn't this Carol Channing?

I wonder what does that sound like if Carol Channing sung all the songs to Dick Tracy.

Hmm.

Anyway, and then their friend Godzilla came in and he went,

Carol, quiet down.

It's Godzilla's turn.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's my Carol Channing.

Yeah.

I'm going to go fight Marthra.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

So that's happening.

There's this kind of like reverse plot to blackmail Big Boy.

Dick Tracy gets thrown in jail.

And there's a kind of a funny shot of him.

He's just in jail in his suit.

He's just wearing his suit in jail.

I kind of like that.

But he gets busted out, and he's going to take down Big Boy at his big New Year's Eve party, which we're gonna talk about right after this.

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Well,

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It could be a,

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You just want to tell us the show is good.

We love that too.

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We're talking about the exciting conclusion to Dick Tracy.

So yeah, big boys having a big New Year's party.

Tired Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

Wired, Dick Tracy, is a New Year's movie.

Oh.

I like it.

Yeah, people just start tiring it all the time and pretending like it's interesting.

So

there's a big New Year's party.

It's very lavish.

The cops all come in.

There's a big shootout.

Everyone has that Tommy gun.

Everyone's just like blasting each other with that Tommy gun.

Things are exploding.

No one's ever getting shot, really, which is

great.

Yeah, everyone misses in this all the time.

There's no blood.

No, I know.

It is a very like PG movie, except for that one horrible death, for that one,

the one concrete death.

Yeah.

But yeah, very bloodless otherwise.

So Big Boy kidnaps Tess.

He like lays on this little like cart with her and they go down the secret passage.

It's really weird.

Which was so fun.

It is fun.

It is very silly and like Al Pacino is just kind of like rattling off all this crazy shit to her.

I'm sure they just told him to say whatever he wanted to.

Oh yeah.

I love any movie that has like little secret passageways.

Like that is really fun that there's just this little tiny, it's perfect for a baby coffin, honestly.

Yeah, you just put it on that track.

But, like, um, Harriet the Spy is a dumb waiter that people go up and down secretly.

Like, any movie that has a little secret passageway thing.

I fucking, I love it.

Very good passage in this movie.

Uh, they go into like a giant clock.

They're in, like, just like a great place for a showdown.

I'm not exactly sure what this is or how they got there, but fuck it.

Just a great place for a final battle.

Um, Dick Tracy comes in, There's a big fight.

No face comes in and shoots somebody.

I kind of forget how this went.

Whatever.

Big boy falls to his death.

The kids there.

But No Face got shot in the battle.

Oh, that's right.

Someone does get shot.

Guess what?

It was Madonna the whole time.

That's right.

Breathless Mahuni was No Face.

Oh, man.

Who could have seen that coming?

I don't know.

No one in 1990.

Honestly, I didn't see it coming.

Oh, really?

No, I kind of thought maybe it would be Tess in a weird way.

Oh, yeah, that'd have been fun.

Yeah, but it's like, I don't know.

It just, there was nothing giving me clues to it being her other than she was the Femme Fatale.

So I guess that's why she was so horny for him.

It's like, don't, don't pay attention to me.

I thought it was either going to be Madonna

or since it's a movie with stacked actors, it would just be fucking Lawrence Olivier.

Wow, Tom Cruise.

Everyone's fucking in this.

Why isn't this that good?

Yeah, so

that kind of happens.

They have one final kiss, but then he goes to Tess.

Now that he's smooched a dying Madonna,

and

she's definitely dead.

He goes to Tess.

There's a bunch of fireworks going on.

This is a cool shot.

Later at the diner, he actually does ask her to marry him.

Well, kind of, sorta.

He like starts into his spiel again.

The radio goes off.

She's like, go get him, Tiger.

Not that.

That's what Mary Jane says to Spider-Man, but something like that.

You get it.

Yeah.

And then

he tosses her a ring.

So he finally does it in his own Dick Tracy kind of way.

That was an ugly fucking ring, too.

Oh, he didn't like the ring?

It's tiny as shit.

You've been making this lady wait all this time, and she's babysitting babysitting some kid you found.

Yeah,

it is.

You're right.

He says to watch a kid he found.

Yeah.

And he's not very nice to her.

He says he hates dames.

But she's pretty sassy with the kid, which I really like.

He starts to like her.

But yeah, she rules.

Get her a big rock, baby.

Yeah, she's great.

And yeah, her and the kid dynamic in this is awesome.

Really funny.

Yeah.

Yeah, and then Jick Chase goes off to the bank robbery, and the kid just goes with him.

I wrote, huh?

The kid's just going with him?

I guess so.

Yeah, in the comics, is he kind of like the Robin character?

Is the kid like his sidekick, even though he's a minor?

I don't know.

You know, I never read the comics.

Our newspaper didn't get Dick Tracy.

We got boring-ass Prince Valiant, I think.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

So I think that was ours.

I'd rather read a fucking Mary Wirth than read a full book.

Boom's voice.

Give me Mallard Fillmore.

Mallard Fillmore A and A.

Fuck you.

I'm trying to read Zitz.

Where's my mutts?

Mutts is great.

Mutts is great.

And that's the end of

Dick Tracy.

And hey, before we get to Hunk Watch,

Emily, you wanted to talk about some of the merch associated with this movie.

This movie had crazy merch.

It did.

And I proposed a sting.

I know we are chock full of stings, but since we did the whole thing about the popcorn buckets,

I think this is very relevant and it'll be fun to talk about in the future.

So play that sting, Matt.

Weird movie merch.

Yay!

Yay!

Weird movie merch.

All right.

So I had Dick Tracy little figurines, action figurines that were pretty small.

They were like happy meal size.

So I thought they were from McDonald's.

Turns out they were not.

I asked my dad if we've got any of them anywhere.

But I loved the Madonna one.

It was like really beautiful because, you know, her outfits and hair and everything was cool.

Did they have a little no-face thing you could put on her?

I don't think they did.

I think that they went, you want to see this face.

This is a good thing.

Yeah, they didn't want to do a spoilers.

Yeah.

Happy meal toy.

Spoilers the food team.

So I guess the brand was Playmates,

which makes it sound like it's a Playboy thing, but it's not.

Sort of does.

So, yeah, so I thought it was from McDonald's.

So I looked up McDonald's Happy Meals.

There was a game, I guess, called Crime Stopper Game,

and you would like take a coin and rub off

like certain things.

It was a scratcher.

Yeah, it was a little scratcher thing.

And so, yeah, you're trying to, I guess there was like a part one and there were different ones and you try to like solve the crime or whatever.

And yeah, I was looking at the directions like for it on this website.

And

the remaining spot was always a tip to the winning location, like the last thing you scratch.

This often took the form of telling customers which box A, B, C, D, or E to scratch

in the best of cards.

It was a clue.

But for example, to try the tallest gangster or search near the telephone was an option.

I'm like, the tallest gangster.

Oh, man.

That's

dang.

It's like, I was reading these directions and I'm like, I don't get this at all.

I also don't get the Monopoly thing either.

Anytime people are playing Monopoly, I'm like, what are we doing?

We're just just Monopoly thing makes sense because it's like you with that one,

you just collect the stickers, and one of them's going to say free Bergberg.

And then, if you get Free Bergberg sticker, then you get to eat a free burger.

Yeah, you don't have to solve a mystery.

Yeah, this sounds like you don't win anything.

So, I guess you're trying to find out different

things,

and then I don't know.

You send it in.

Well, I have a clip of the commercial from 1990 for Dick Tracy Crime Stopper Game.

Here it is.

There's more than one way to win cash in McDonald's Dick Tracy Crime Stopper game.

Give it up, poor fake.

Collect the mobsters from your game cards and watch for their ugly mug shots each week at McDonald's.

Make a match, and you can make a million.

Oh, okay, so it's Monopoly.

Yeah, we solved that case without a wrinkle.

We

Dick Tracy, the movie is only in theaters.

I'm rather than our game is only at McDonald's.

Food, folks, and fun.

Food, folks, and fun?

That is...

Food folks and fun.

I don't even remember that.

Oh, I do.

I think that was my primary McDonald's slogan growing up.

Mine was,

have you had a break today?

Really?

I would think Kit Kat would be pissed about that.

Yeah, I think

they eventually changed it to I'm loving it.

I'm loving it, which I think they still.

Dude, they've kept that forever.

At some point, it's like,

come on, move on.

Let's do a different thing.

Bring back the moon guy.

Bring back Mac tonight.

Bring back the big and spicy moon guy.

I will say, as we're talking about the merch associated with this movie, Great Sega Genesis game, really fun Sega Genesis game.

Yeah,

you could shoot the bad guys in front of you, but there's also bad guys running around in the background.

You could shoot them, too.

It was

pretty much anyone.

You could shoot it.

Was the kid in it?

I don't know.

I'm sure the kid was in it sometimes.

Could you shoot the kid?

I'm sorry.

Yeah, you could shoot the kid.

If he asked for food one too many times, pop him.

This is the least kid-friendly episode we've ever done.

Yeah, just talking about killing him the whole time.

Mostly talking about baby coffins.

Once you pop, you can't stop.

Yeah.

We are going to rank the movie, but first, we're going to talk about who we were the most attracted to.

It's time for our segment, Hunk Watch.

It's Hunk Watch.

Emily, you had strong opinion about this one we've been kind of talking about the the the rich uh melange of hunks in this movie but you you think one stood out yes it is beardless mandy patinkin all the fucking way i as soon as he was on camera i was like whoa it was like uh something rushed over me i don't know it was i've never seen him without Like you see him with a mustache and Princess Bride.

He's a total.

He's a babe and that.

But with no facial hair, I was like, wow.

No facial hair and balding.

They just well, he wasn't balding.

Wasn't he balding in that?

It was slick.

It was slicked back.

I mean,

you like.

So what you're saying, Emily, you like a hairless Potinkin.

Yeah.

Well, I like him with a beard, too.

It's just, I'd never like to be.

I like a battleship Potinkin.

That is a really stupid joke.

You see, there's a thing called Battleship Pokedown.

I know.

Yeah, I know.

Old movie.

Oh, boy.

Like my potential with a little landing strip.

Stupid.

Oh, boy.

But yeah, and he

sings in it.

And

I don't know.

I just thought he was very fresh-faced and sexy.

Sounds great.

Beautiful pipes.

Good-looking man, good singer.

Warren Beatty was like a pretty face with nothing going on behind it so it was just kind of yeah you're you're a traditional like classically attractive person i guess but it just i didn't feel anything in the loins the loins were not trembled the loins are mysterious sometimes yes they are i do have a hunk watch um and mine is madonna

um because i think she's beautiful in this and more to the point

there's titties in this movie there is there is titties in this movie.

What?

Bear titties?

Okay, so the scene in which Madonna shows up in that like

that black, I don't know what you call it, a neglige, the like see-through fucking like black thing that she's wearing.

I think you started watching another movie.

No, she's you guys know what I'm talking about when she's wearing like the black thing.

I think I know you.

I think I know what you mean now.

She's

you can see nipple.

Oh, you can see nipple.

I looked, I went on full screen.

I said, fuck phone.

We're watching this on computer.

And I watched it on computer and I was like, those are that's nipple.

You could see nipple, you could say Areola.

And so

I just again

the way you trembled when you said Ariola.

Well, I can't believe it.

It was just like I watched it and I was like, okay, this is a movie-rated PG.

And, you know, I'm no no Christian, but what are we doing to the children?

Well,

it's kind of weird how if you have like a sheer fabric over a nipple, somehow that's okay.

Like on Instagram, that's a thing.

Yeah.

Yes.

Like if you have a sheer thing, but the shape of an areola is beneath it, somehow that's

all right.

It's like, that's weird.

That's interesting.

All right, to who?

Have they asked Jesus Christ?

Well, probably not.

Great question.

Great question.

Yeah.

Wait, tell us what yours is, Jordan.

Oh,

I think I'm a test true heart man.

In these kinds of this or thats, I usually come around, come down on the side of the test true heart or test true heart-like character.

Yeah, she's great.

And her banter with the kid is so, is so fantastic.

I have a fun story about, I think, is it Glenn Heady?

Is that how you say her name?

Glenn Heady, yeah.

Yeah, so I auditioned to play the younger version of her in Future Man.

That was like the zoom

this TV show, and he she played the mom of the main character.

And oh gosh, who was the who was the dad in that?

It was her and some other...

Oh, um, the guy who loves electric cars, not Elon Musk.

I'll Google this guy.

I don't know, but

he's in all the Christopher Guest movies.

Anyway, I'll find this guy's name.

But I just, I love her so, and then she passed away.

Like, she was like in Future Man and then I'd say less than a month after my audition she passed away.

Oh my gosh

that's sad.

But I thought I'd be like Ed Begley Jr.

Ed Begley Jr.

Oh yeah.

You're right.

He does like electric car.

He does.

I didn't know that about him.

Oh yeah.

Love big environmental guy.

Yeah, I just really like her voice.

It's very like somber and easy.

I was bummed.

I would have loved that gift.

Perfect for this movie.

Perfect.

Like perfect like, you know, looks like she's from another time.

Yeah.

Oh, her clothes are just insane.

If I could wear all those clothes in normal life, I would.

But also, the bedrooms, like,

I want to talk about the rooms just a little bit.

Sure, yeah, please.

Okay.

I love how red was just like, everything was fucking red.

Just everything.

When she went home to stay with her mom because she was heartbroken about Dick Tracy, she had this bright red bed frame and it was like, ugh, I need that bed frame so bad.

And then in Dick Tracy's apartment, he had red and yellow tiles like all over the walls and everything.

And I'm like, God damn it.

I want, I need crazy colorful tiles all over the place.

In my life, that's the one thing I'm going to need before I die.

Before I yeet into the ocean, I need some red and yellow tiles.

Popcorn baby cough.

Tiles first, yeet second.

If someone like was

like out of the room for part of this and they come back, just you saying that and us laughing, it's like, what are they talking about?

What is this?

Back it up.

It's a podcast.

Listen to what you missed.

All right.

Well, hey, I think it's time to rank Dick Tracy on a scale of one to 10 Super Loud Commercials right after this.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no.

It's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

We're back.

It's free with ads.

We're going to rank Dick Tracy on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials.

Matt, I think as the person who had the least attachment to this movie, maybe I'll start with you.

And then maybe you think I was the biggest fan growing up.

Maybe I'll take it home.

Matt,

what do you got?

So I'm going to give this movie A 5.

I didn't hate it.

I liked it a lot better as an adult than I did as a kid.

But at the end of the day,

I will say that my biggest gripe with it when I was younger was I was like,

this is so colorful yet so boring.

And

for the first 45 minutes of this movie, I was like, I was wrong.

This is actually quite entertaining.

And then it kept going.

And I said, this is very colorful, but boring.

So I give it a five.

I think it's fine.

It's good.

You know, well, hey, I wouldn't.

dress up as Dick Tracy every two years in order to keep the character.

It's not that good.

but good enough it's good and do a weird improv bit with ben menkowitz yeah exactly hey whatever you want to do buddy that's fine blueberries

yeah who does he think dick tracy is i don't know i don't know uh emily what do you what do you got what is that i i was thoroughly entertained during this movie just because of the balls and the stuff they tried like these actors were giving it all they had, like except for Warren Beatty.

But like

everyone else, it was just, they were having a blast.

I love the costumes.

I love the aesthetic.

I really like

Tess Truehart's acting.

The kid was great.

I gave it a seven.

I had a blast.

I kind of want to watch it again.

And maybe it's because I have a fondness, like thinking about it.

When I was a kid, I really did like it.

So I'd watch it again.

Seven.

Yeah, I'm right there with you, Emily.

I'm going to say seven too for me.

I, you know, It is like an imperfect movie, and I think it got a lot of flack at the time.

There's some things wrong with it, but it looks so cool.

It is such a vision, you know, like the look of it is so cool and specific.

And yeah, there's a lot of fun acting.

You wish there was a little more meat on the bone.

You wish Warren Beatty was doing something at all.

But like,

the museum, the music is fucking great.

Even though the Danny Elfman score is just like the Batman score,

the Batman score is great.

So, you know, this one is too.

And yeah, all those Steven Sondheim Sondheim songs are so awesome.

And I just was glad to see it, you know, because it's been kind of like disappeared for so long.

I think it's like, well, I could get a DVD from the library, but how would I watch this weird Dick Tracy that's in Warren Beatty's weird vault?

Yeah.

I wonder what it is that made Warren Beatty allow this to be free with ads.

It's a great question, yeah.

And but yeah, I'm glad it is.

I'm glad it's kind of out there because, yeah, it was like a it was like a weird lost memory for so long.

So I loved getting to revisit it.

A seven, yeah, and I think you should, you should check it out if you're you're curious.

All right.

Before we go, I'm just going to let you know that we are going to announce in a future episode the winner of our Godzilla Remix Contest.

That's right.

We have chosen a winner.

Matt is hard at work in his DJ lab making the perfect Godzilla remix.

Oh, yeah, there's a bunch of flasks bubbling.

Yeah, my lab.

Yeah,

we really loved seeing folks in their free with ads merch.

It's not time to enter the contest, of course, but if you still want to check out our very cool merch, t-shirts, hats that say the worst hat, pint glasses, maxfunstore.com.

That's where you go for merch.

Our live show, our first ever Free With Ads live show, is coming up.

It is January 23rd, 7.30 p.m.

at the Punchline Comedy Club in beautiful San Francisco, California.

The hilarious Shauna Christmas is our guest.

We will be reviewing Twilight, and we would love to see you all there.

sfsketchfest.com is where you go for your tickets.

Please come.

We're planning some fun stuff and we would love it if you were there yelling at us.

Yell at Matt for not liking bats enough.

Please yell at me.

There'll be a lot of bats in Twilight.

Oh, yeah.

There'll be a lot of bats from Hattie.

I don't know.

I haven't seen it.

We haven't watched it.

Yeah, we haven't watched it.

And hey, if you're in Southern California, I am going to be at Pasadena Comic-Con Comic-Con that weekend on January 26th.

Come on out.

Yeah,

the Pasadena and the surrounding area have kind of had a rough time.

There's going to be a bunch of cool Pasadena artists there,

you know, selling their stuff and hopefully having a good time.

So Pasadena Comic-Con, come on out on 1-26.

Emily, you got something?

Well, I cannot announce it yet, but coming soon, I do have a very special announcement, a project that I'm doing, but stay tuned.

So, this is a tease for an announcement.

Yeah, I'm giving you a little tease.

So, there's an announcement coming soon.

I'm a little tease.

What is it?

Is it a feature film?

Am I selling my dirty socks?

It's one of the two.

It's either a sock sale or a feature film.

I am on Cameo, though, if you guys want to buy me on Cameo.

Oh, cool.

Okay, there we go.

I started doing that.

That's fun.

Yeah, I had somebody who asked me to

fake faint for them.

Okay.

Okay.

What was they paid good for that, right?

Yeah.

What do you charge for a fainting?

Fake fainting.

Well, everything's 35 bucks.

Okay.

Wow, everything.

Everything.

I feel like you should up the price on the fake fainting.

Well, I'm not going to.

Well, it was fun.

He's a doctor, I guess.

Yeah, that's what they all say.

Some people.

Psychiatrists, let me see some feet.

He was like, I want you to say, like, your congrats on being a doctor.

I have a hard time with the sight of blood.

And then, like, when I say blood, faint.

And then he did ask, like, what experience do you have in fainting?

And I was like, yeah, you asked me to do it, and I did it.

LOL.

Yeah.

Let's see how weird these could get without me saying no.

Cause I will do just about anything for money.

Check out Emily on Cameo.

And hey,

we're all Angelinos, and I think we all

had our own version of a tough time during all the wildfires that happened recently and might still be happening as of when this comes out.

We are all fine.

All of our pets and all of our families are fine.

And yeah, we thank everybody who reached out and just asked how we were doing and was concerned.

Yeah, we're all doing okay.

And,

you know, just

bummed that so many people uh lost so much yeah and yeah we're thankful that we're okay but uh matt met one of your one of your family members had it had a super tough time

yeah so my my twin sister diana uh and her husband and two kids lost their home uh it it caught fire with all the other homes uh in in altadena and which is the other fire like i think a lot of people are hearing about the palisades fire um which is you know was is bad and is still going on But this Eaton fire over on the east side pretty much devastated Altadena.

Burned down the home,

burned down their home, burned down their kids' school.

Oh, yeah, which is a whole other nightmare.

Not only do you, you know, have no home, but also you have no place for your kids to go to school.

So, yeah, right now,

in the show notes of this episode, there's going to be a link to a GoFundMe for my sister and her family.

If you feel like donating to someone who is,

you know, just lost her home and is cool and is related to me.

Please donate, you know, anything that you can.

It is all appreciated.

But everyone is safe.

Everyone is safe.

They got their cats out.

They got their kids out.

And unfortunately, you know, everything else they did did not.

All their stuff is gone.

So any help would be appreciated.

Yeah,

that's super awesome.

And, yeah, thanks to everybody who has been kicking in to GoFundMe's and helping with the relief efforts here.

Really, really cool.

And we know that the audience of this show and the audience of all the Max Fund shows are really, really cool, nice people.

And yeah, it's always really, really neat when

you can reach out and kind of use this platform for good stuff.

So, thank you to everybody

who has been being a cool, nice person.

All right.

Uh, tune in next week when our movie will be The Warriors

Come Out to Play

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