Penelope, with Mikayla

This is Free with Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Paramount plus $8 a month for that one episode of The Twilight Zone where everyone has pig noses when you can go online for free and watch a movie where just one person has a pig nose?

I mean, who needs that many pig noses anyways?

I'm Jordan Morris.

So does Jordan.

You're so right.

And I'm Emily Fleming.

Today's movie is Penelope, the 2000s fairy tale comedy starring every actor you like except Danny Trejo for some reason.

Hey, Danny Trejo, why weren't you in Penelope?

With us always is super producer Matt who stuffs our faces with greasy wet drops.

Thank you.

The greatest drop ever.

I still have the sexy voice.

You still a moan, huh?

I long for the day that that changes.

Drop lady, if you're out there, call me.

I love how you exhale.

I love you, Dream Woman.

She's a DJ.

Wow.

She's the one spinning and scratching.

Does she have a Vegas residency?

She better.

Oh, I can't wait to see you at Wynn.

The Wind Buffet.

Oh, she's great.

She gets me Wynn Buffet passes.

Oh, she's the best.

Those things are 86 bucks, bro.

Yeah, hell yeah.

And hey, joining us today is a producer and on-screen talent for the hit YouTube show Good Mythical Morning, Michaela Barnes.

Hi, Michaela.

Hello, hello, hello.

We are going to talk about Penelope, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads.

But before we do that, we're going going to get to know our fabulous guest in a segment we call Talk to Guest.

Talk to a guest.

Fuck.

I do that one live.

Try it again.

We're going to do it.

No, we're going to do it better.

We're going to do it better.

All right.

Shut up.

Talk to guests.

That's perfect.

You know,

the first one was shit.

Now that I hear the good one,

it's really

fun.

Thank you for doing it.

It was going to have like a verse to it, Mike, a chorus and a bridge.

Usually just talk to guests.

No, it's too much.

I'm a minimalist, though.

I like that.

I like that.

Next time you come on, we will request

a 10-minute Ina Gotta DeVita style song.

Taylor's version, Matt Lee's version.

Talk to guests.

Parentheses, Matt version.

He was fighting with his record label, so he re-recorded all the drops.

Yeah, it really was just fighting with you guys because you were like, shut the hell up, Matt.

Who are Matt's drops about?

Who did he break up with when he wrote that drop?

All right, come on.

This is talk to guests.

Not talk about producers.

No, you're better.

to talk about producers.

Talk to guests.

Michaela, you're a

episode already.

You're a producer on Good Mythical Morning.

It is a YouTube show.

Emily, Matt, and I all appear on it with some regularity.

Yes.

Sketches, games, challenges.

The producers and kind of people behind the scenes of Good Mythical Morning often shoved in front of the camera to do weird stuff.

What are some of the weird things you've had to do on camera for the show?

um i try

to not do weird things but they still like will do them and so i don't know if it's like weird because i i don't get embarrassed okay i don't it's true you don't hence saying yes to this show yeah hence i'm here and i've already been yelled at about talk to guests so uh that's so

it's it's just i work really hard on those things

i'm gonna be making fun it's gonna become a stem for me

I get like little vocal stems, so I'm going to be thinking about that one a lot.

Dude, I think that most of our show, it's just the stings are really just stems

at this point.

It sounds like it.

The show is just ASMR to help people fall asleep.

Yeah.

And that's great.

I love you.

I think it's more of a put-on pants later.

It's more of that.

Just reminders.

Yeah.

But I don't know.

I think, I think of it as like enjoying things.

So like

Cookie Monster in particular is the one, the main one that still sticks out to me because I was just like, I'm dancing with Cookie Monster.

Oh, yeah, you did an episode.

I wasn't there for that day.

I remember it being a huge deal that Cookie Monster came on.

Swait, the actual

Cookie Monster.

Wow.

And the voice of Cookie Monster.

Well, no, there is no voice.

It's just Cookie Monster.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Cookie Monster real.

It was.

I will.

Everyone who listens to this show still believes in Santa Claus.

You got to fucking.

People believe in Cookie Monster.

Cookie Monster is real.

Cookie Monster is real to me.

But it was.

And you met some of his helpers.

The helpers.

The friends.

I worked for Disney for a year at Disney World, and we would call like the people in the quote-unquote costumes.

What is a costume?

We would call them friends of.

So like I'm friends with or friends with.

So they would say, I'm friends with Mickey Mouse.

So we can call them friends with Cookie Monster.

He's friends with him.

All of my friends wear my skin.

Some of my best friends are deep inside of me.

My friends are inside me, and I'm just the skin of the

whole cunning candy randy in.

I didn't let him in.

Right.

I didn't call for this either.

Somebody cracked a window.

I'm not at work right now.

Stop it.

All right, Michaela.

Time for Will It Lasagna.

We've got a handful of Skittles and pipe cleaners.

Will these lasagna?

No, stop.

See, it's like ingrained in me.

But it's just okay.

So, yeah, so Cookie Monster, I mean, that's like, I mean, an icon, right?

I mean, we all grew up a Sesame Street.

So when Cookie Monster is like on set, people are freaking out, right?

Yeah, everybody showed up.

Everybody showed up that day.

The office was packed.

And like,

I still have that like group picture of everyone.

And literally, there's like 50 people standing behind Cookie Monster.

I was right next to Cookie Monster, though, because I was in there.

It is such a cool episode, too.

It was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have you ever had to eat anything weird on camera?

There's so much weird eating on that show.

Have I?

I've had to eat like gross peanut butter things.

And then

I mean,

what's a gross peanut butter thing?

Well, there was like one episode that was like, they had to like make some kind of like sour peanut butter thing.

Okay.

And it was like...

Link Neil in particular.

I have like an on-screen beef with him.

So I don't really get to relax when I'm on set ever.

And so when he finds out something that could possibly or potentially torment me, he'll like call me in and be like, my cattle come down.

That's my linking version.

Spot on.

That's why he's here.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Matt and Emily, does anything stick out as like the weirdest thing you've had to do on camera?

I will go ahead with this.

I think I've kind of gotten

the lighter end of the spectrum on foods.

I have watched people really,

I have gagged a little bit on camera.

I remember the first time I was ever on camera for mythical was a moor

and there was this at the time and I guess this was like what is it 2018 this is a year old long time ago yeah and there was this tradition at the time that your first time on a moor you would have to eat something gross And I got there and they gave me a tube of preparation age.

And I think they thought I would just taste it, but I squeezed like half the bottle in my mouth sure

and they were like no and then he like handed me a bucket and I'm like what I've seen you guys eat crazy stuff yeah they used to this is nothing to me like I mean and what is the mouth but the asshole of the face exactly

thank you

yeah they have me they have me spit it out but I honestly think that that was less bad than some of the other stuff I've had to eat I've had to eat quite a few uh kind of gross things on the Kitchen Channel and on GMM.

Kitchen Channel, I've eaten tongue.

I've eaten like tongue within gelatin.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, beef tongue and gelatin.

That was in Abraham Lincoln's

inaugural feast.

It was a thing that it was not bad.

Really?

I don't know how to say that it wasn't bad.

But there's other things.

He was a president.

But yeah, there's other things.

He was a wise man.

Yeah, yeah.

Presidential lady.

Yeah, he bisexual.

There's other things.

But there's things I've rejected and stuff.

There was like the,

we did that episode where it was like pushing the limits of macaroni and cheese.

And they had macaroni and cheese with haggis that was inside of a

beef bladder.

I guess yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I just went, no,

I'm out.

Like, you can't do it.

But, you know, I bet it wasn't that bad.

I bet it wasn't.

Probably not.

Scotland, they eat it all the time.

And I'm Scottish, but fuck you, ancestors.

I don't know about you.

That's why I'm

stupid ancestors.

Silly.

I will never say silly ancestors.

I love my ancestors.

But hell yeah, girl.

Comments to the people.

I haven't had to eat anything that weird, mostly because I'm allergic to everything and I don't drink.

So they're just like, Matt can't do the tasting episode.

And so I'm just like,

you do the ball torture episode.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mostly they just, you know, will it gape?

And they stretch me out.

We got to find out.

Will it gape?

All right, three centimeters.

Jordan, you've had some fucked up shit in your mouth, though.

I know you have.

Yeah, I've had to eat a lot of hot stuff.

Okay.

Oh, and I did a, there was a cooking segment where Josh, the chef,

prepared a testicle breakfast burrito, I believe he was.

I remember the full testicles.

They were boiled, and he made it into a breakfast burrito, which is my favorite food.

But you had to eat them regular first.

And I did have to have a bite of a like unprepared, just boiled, unseasoned testicle.

I don't know if seasoning would have made it better.

No, probably not.

Yeah.

Doubt it.

Absolutely not.

But yeah, very, very gross.

I can still, when I shut my eyes, I can still

taste that ball.

Wow.

Taste that boiled ball.

It does.

It's like

a ghost or a lover.

like the perfume of a lover.

But you are here to talk about a very cool episode that you are, let's say, the star of.

You're okay with star, right?

You're okay with star?

I'm very humble.

You're not saying star.

We are saying star.

We are saying star.

I'm being forced to say star.

Oh, okay, Matt.

Don't do me because you have those weird things and I'm going to make fun of you for it.

The drinks.

Okay, be nice to me.

Be nice to the star, Matt.

No one's ever bullied Matt.

I can do that easy.

I love bullying men.

Easy.

Matt can just be like, oh, you bullied me.

Sorry, the mic's broke.

True.

But I will take somebody else's mic.

I'm bold.

Don't try me.

So you, there is a special Good Mythical Weekend episode.

Yes, it's back, baby.

That is out now.

That is out now.

Where you like, they did like a blind date-off off to find you a date yeah was that nerve-wracking it was I I

mentioned being single in Emily's episode because we did the same iteration with Emily a few months before and

Since I did that and then since they announced that I was the one it was like have y'all seen the movie smile yeah I have not seen either I've heard those smile movies are kind of good they're really good they're really good

but it really felt like when I would walk around the office like the smile demons were looking at me and like non-stop smiling.

And I'm like, Please, I'm gonna vomit all over this office if you don't stop looking at me.

Like, it was just because everybody wanted you to do this, yeah.

Everybody wanted me to do this.

I don't think I can say that I've ever put myself out there like that too to do something like this.

And then, also, in my brain, I'm like, dang, I work so much.

Why not make work hook me up with somebody?

Because it's like,

why not?

I hear all the time.

Maybe that, yeah, maybe if not for work, you could be doing more more dating.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What did it consist of?

Did you like have to ask them personal questions?

Did they have to do weird challenges?

Did they have to eat bull testicles for some reason?

No.

Just before they, the producer and the writer asked me what my type was, what I was interested in, which I don't really have much of a type.

I just

tell them what you said.

I said tall.

No.

Don't make me be the dev, like David Beckham to your Victoria Beckham.

I will be honest.

Rat boy.

Oh,

rat boy.

No, okay.

Here's what happened with the rat boy.

Here's what happened with the rat boy of it all.

He's married, Michaela.

I'm married.

I'm going to tall rat boy boy.

Listen, I'm going to booty somebody into these pants.

I'll tell you that.

So I said, they were like, what's your type?

And like, the movie of the year for me personally is Challengers.

And because of that, they're like, oh, you like Rat Boys.

You said I was like, yeah, you can take Rat Boys.

You can take that.

What did I say that?

Did I say it in an episode?

You say it to me personally.

Is there a,

is there a hard and fast definition of rat boy?

There's a.

It's pretty much the hottest boys in every movie.

Who are the archetypal Rat Boy?

Benny Blanco?

Barry Kyogan.

Yeah, Adam Driver.

Adam Driver.

The dudes from Challengers.

Yeah, the Dudes from Challengers, both of them.

I'd say,

who's Amy?

Amy Poehler's husband from Parks and Rec.

Oh, yes.

Adam Scott.

Yes.

Adam Scott.

I think he's the OG rat boy for me personally.

Cute little rat boy.

And, of course, Master Splinter.

Master Splinter.

No, he's a rat man.

He's a rat man.

He's a rat dad.

Yeah.

Exactly.

No, these are all the hottest dudes, period.

They're really hot.

Like, rat boys are

not.

It's not a dig at all.

No, rats are really industrious and fun.

They are.

But what I hate

points that Matt Lieb might be

a hot rat boy.

I've always been a rat boy.

I remember when

Rat Boy started to become a look.

It was Adam Driver who was the first rat.

Is he rat-ish?

Oh, for sure.

His features are so big.

Yeah, he was the first rat boy

of my my generation.

And

yeah, rats can be huge.

R-O-U-S's.

Yeah,

sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's Adam Driver.

They asked me what my type was.

I said, both of the guys from challenges.

So if you're listening, hey.

If you're listening, help them.

They can need more listeners.

Yeah, why don't you come on the show?

People that you listen to this show.

The famous rat boys.

Tell all your little buck toothed friends to come on the show.

We have cheese.

We have cheese in here.

It does.

We have cheese in here

a little bit.

I wish we had cheese.

That'd be great.

That would.

I got water and a lollipop.

Yeah, I love a cheese.

And then that was basically it.

They like went to casting networks.

They asked people that worked at the company.

And then during the episode, they set up like actual dating profiles

that we like swiped through, read what they put in their descriptions.

And then at the end, I chose one.

And then we went on a date for the cameras.

Oh my gosh.

And people can watch this right now at the Good Mythical Morning YouTube channel.

Link in the show notes.

Yes.

Exciting.

Please watch it so I can do more things.

Yes.

Watch it.

And on the channel.

Comment.

Michaela's a star.

More things.

More things.

Well, I might even like to make a little top three Michaela videos underneath that.

Oh, sure.

That would be really fun.

Yes.

My own personal Michaela playlist.

The Michaela playlist link in the show notes.

Good mythical morning.

Make sure you don't get to tell me which one.

Okay, I'm scared.

You have a top three of me?

Are you that obsessed with me?

I mean, yeah.

I'm very obsessed with you.

I have fallen asleep on your beanbag chair in your apartment.

Yeah, you have.

What a great bonding moment after I made you cry because I told you how great you are.

You're so great.

That's like a fun night.

And you have a beanbag chair?

Oh, a cue of rat people.

I threw a rat and she.

Okay, wait.

So,

so outside of her apartment.

What's going to happen in this story?

I don't even care about the pig movie anymore.

We have so many stories.

Pigs are over.

It's all about rats now.

So Kayla and I have a lot of stories.

But one night, there was this rat in the bushes like outside of the apartment of her door and it's just been there and she's putting in requests for somebody to get rid of it and it was a big fucker it was so big he's dead yeah he was dead i walked out of my apartment one day and i like looked or i just locked my door and i looked and like right there was a dead rat yeah i was like oh you were like

he was gonna be my boyfriend

Yeah, he came with a little bouquet of flowers and died.

No, no, no.

No.

Because that's how lucky I am.

We came back from something and I was drunk and I was like, I'm just going to pick this fucking.

And so, would I get a trash bag?

I got like a plastic bag.

I grabbed him with my hands.

Her bare hands.

But no, the bag was over my head.

I mean, but it was still bare.

Okay, whatever.

I disagree.

You had a bag on your hand.

Exactly.

It's like how you pick up dog shit.

You did the right thing.

So I picked it up, put it in there, tied it off, and then she had a dumpster, and I like swung it around to throw it in the dumpster, and I threw it too far, and it shimmied behind the dumpster

and the cement.

So it's just behind the dumpster and the cement wall.

So I know

I pretty much did the worst thing you can do.

You took it out from in front of my apartment and I wasn't sure.

That's true, but it's just rotting behind the dumpster.

In the trash bag, find a snake, throw the snake back there.

That'll eat the rat.

Swallow the rat to the side.

And we're like, we.

It went into the, and then it just

hard.

Throw, like, you didn't, like, I promise you, she was like right in front of the dumpster, so she could have done like a dainty little boop.

But she literally like

David and Goliath, like David just like swinging the thing and throwing it, like, damn, you don't need to do all that.

I'll do it.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

No, it's fine.

I don't care.

It's not in front of my apartment.

It's okay.

Oh, God.

If you need to see me to pick up rats for you.

Yeah, let Emily know if there's any.

She is the rat girl of my dreams.

Should I be a drop?

Sure.

She is the rat girl of my dreams.

Too many syllables.

It's got to be one, two, rat girl of my dreams.

Three syllables.

Rat girl dreams.

Rat girl dreams.

There you go.

Rat girl dreams.

There you go.

Good sting.

Good sting.

Honestly, rat girl dreams will probably be here for hunk watch like subsex.

Okay,

for sure.

Oh, yeah.

Well, hey, speaking of

movies that we watched for this podcast,

we watched Penelope.

Michaela, this was your choice.

Tell us your relationship with this movie, why you chose it.

I had not seen it.

I had never heard of it before this.

Really?

Yes.

So for a long time, my whole life, backstory, my own kiddie.

Once upon a time, you started just like the movie

in Chicago.

Um, no, who dreamed of producing, who dreamed of living elsewhere, anyway.

Um, I have always been like a big movie person.

I do like movie reviews on my Instagram stories.

Follow me on Instagram at McKillery.

Hell yeah.

But Penelope, me and my mom have always watched like really weird movies, like the entirety of my life.

Like we never watched anything normal ever.

Like I remember there's like a movie with like Macaulay Cuckin and Elijah Wood and they were kids.

The good son.

The good son.

I'll never forget that movie.

Like we used to watch weird stuff like that.

Did your mom watch that?

Yes.

Yes.

You and your mom, I'm just saying the two movies you've mentioned.

Penelope and this one, have to do with moms.

And both have Catherine and O'Hara.

Yeah.

Is Catherine O'Hara on the good side?

No, I think I just, I just, in my opinion.

You've conflated the good side and home and like

I didn't know it's like mom's having to make some weird judgment.

Yeah.

Well, my mom.

Sorry, mom, if you listen to this, but my mom has a weird relationship with her mom.

So she tries to like do basically the exact opposite of everything that her mom did.

And so I think she likes movies with crazy moms because it's just like, well, at least I'm not doing that.

Because I remember,

i remember um or my mom would always tell me the story of when i was a baby i have a very like specific nose and my nana who is my grandma my mom's mom she would like pinch my nose as a baby because she was like her nose is weird we need to make it not weird

so she would pinch my nose and just hold it as a baby so my nose shape would change Like

stuff like that.

So this is a very personal movie for you then.

Yeah.

I have a weird nose.

No, I don't think I have a weird nose.

And it's a gorgeous nose.

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Beautiful nose, Ray.

I always joke with Emily because she gets so mad.

I'm like, one day I'm going to fly to Turkey and I'm going to come back with a brand new nose.

You're not going to be able to get it.

I can't tell you how angry this makes me.

Is that when you get a cheap nose job?

Turkey?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

You go to Turkey for a nose job.

Girl.

You're in Los Angeles.

Yeah, but it's expensive out here.

It's so pricey.

But also.

How can I get big naturals?

Big natural noses.

Vegetables.

I got a group on.

I'm in Turkey.

It's time to get some titties.

I will.

They're not fake ones.

They got to be natural.

What do you think you're talking about?

I won't.

I will not continue to get upset about this because I have been drunk at a bar with Michaela because of how beautiful she is.

And every time she talks about changing her nose, it makes me so sad.

I don't really want to change my nose.

I just do it to piss her off when she annoyed me.

It makes me so upset.

Oh, you're so beautiful.

So, yeah, anyway,

watch a lot of weird movies.

We watched a lot of weird movies the entirety of my life.

I don't, I also was very like rom-com averse growing up.

So, like, it took me literally until like years ago to see like the popular rom-coms.

Like,

I did not, I didn't like them.

And I didn't, because I'm like, oh, cute white people.

What are they going to do?

Fall in love.

Cool.

One's falling down.

There's Matthew McConaughey.

Oh, God.

What is he going to do?

She likes beer and she likes something else.

She's quirky because she wears sweaters.

Girl.

You want to talk about some quirky sweaters?

This movie.

This movie had great sweaters and great scars.

Yeah, the best quirky sweaters I've ever seen in my fucking life.

Yeah.

Well, yeah,

let's talk about it.

As we mentioned, it starts once upon a time.

It's a fairy tale.

And we get the two kind of parents of the protagonists coming out of a limo.

And

this is like a positive jump scare.

I didn't really know who was in this movie.

Everyone is in this movie.

Everyone you like.

Everyone.

And like.

So this limo opens and Catherine O'Hara and Richard E.

Grant come out.

Are there two actors you would prefer to get out of that limo?

I don't think so.

That's like ideal.

I'm like, oh my God, here we are.

Question.

Richard E.

Grant was in

Shape of Water.

Or no, what am I thinking of?

There was something else he

saw.

He was the cunty daddy in Salt Burton.

There you go.

Okay.

He's great.

He's always played in a cunty daddy somewhere.

No, he's not a cunt.

Okay, we'll talk about it later.

Okay.

You think he's hunky?

I think he's hunky as fuck.

I love this guy.

With Nail and I is a favorite movie of mine.

He's in Bram Stoker's Dracula.

This guy.

Okay.

Yeah.

Every time he pops up in something, I'm like, he's an amazing guy.

There's the guy.

So, yeah, obviously, Catherine O'Hara, queen, great in everything.

Yeah, even when the thing is not good, she's amazing in it.

Catherine O'Hara, one of the best.

So, yeah, awesome.

And yeah, this movie is full of that.

Like, awesome people just kind of pop up for these little roles.

So fun, so cool.

So, they are a rich family.

There's a curse on the family.

One of their ancestors, like, slept with, you know, the chambermaid.

And then

a local witch cursed them to have a daughter with a pig nose.

And the family doesn't have daughters, doesn't have daughters for generation and generation.

But then the first daughter is born.

That's Penelope.

We see her getting delivered.

And so she has a pig nose, but also ears.

They don't talk about the ears a lot.

It's mostly about ears.

They tell them up.

But the baby has these like very clear fake ears pasted on it.

It's very funny how they just had to like glue these weird ears on a baby.

Yeah, so that's Penelope.

That is our main character.

And so we kind of cut to her and the situation they have her in.

So her rich parents have her in this like special room and she talks to suitors from behind glass.

Literally the love is blind premise.

Yeah, right.

Literally.

Penelope predicted love is blind.

She did.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah.

But it happened in an anthropology store.

Yeah.

So yeah, let's talk about Penelope.

Oh, yes, okay.

She was also actually ugly because love is blind people aren't ugly.

Yeah.

Well, well, some of them are ugly on the inside.

They're ugly on the inside, and that's why you're not married.

Well, he's married, not you.

I mean, Love is Blonde.

Right, right.

Yeah.

And so she was like, I mean, I don't think she was ugly, though.

Let's get to it.

So, yeah, I would love to talk about that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, so,

okay, and I don't quite know what the movie thinks about this, but like, elephant in the room, pig in the room.

Uh, Penelope is played by uh Christina Ricci.

The pig nose they put on her is not that weird.

And she is one of the most beautiful people who has lived.

Yes.

And she looks amazing in this movie.

And the pig nose.

Yes.

Put more pig stuff on her.

Give her a curly tail.

Bigger oink.

Can I be honest?

Like, she's gorgeous.

She's so pretty.

Well, I think that what's weird, the pig ear thing, which we saw when she was a baby, I found that to be because they give an explanation as to why they cannot give her a nose job.

Yeah, because all of us are going to be going,

I ain't know you can give me a nose yet.

Like, we're all going to be.

Everybody knows.

And they're like, There's a blood vessel going straight through that pig nose or something.

I can't remember what I love.

I love the carotid artery.

Carotidid artery.

Carotid artery.

It was the only thing I actually heard in the movie because I spent the whole time going, Wood.

Yeah, exactly.

But they never said anything about the ears part of it.

So it was like, I kind of wanted her to have those cute little ears and stuff.

Because with just the nose, it was like, look at this beautiful, cute girl in all twee anthropology apparel from 2006.

Cute hair, amazing eye makeup.

I was like, she's so cute.

There was actually a really good line.

I think a quarter of the way through the movie where it's our boy, Daddy Grant, the dad character um

the mom was like um this guy might go out there and tell people give a description of her and how she has a pig nose he goes well that could describe anyone and any woman in losing or any woman in london yeah that was really sweet and i was like oh that's funny so i'm like he hates women

i saw it as a nice thing i know i know what's wrong with my daughter well he's just like that could describe any woman in london and i was like oh shit

Here's the thing about this movie.

They make these British people do American accents.

I have no idea.

Richard E.

Grant is doing what he can't do it.

James McAvoy, who is Irish, is doing what.

He sounds a little bit better to me.

This movie is just in a random fantasy city.

There's no place.

It's not a real place.

Why in the world are they making these guys?

And Nick Frost, who has one line later, we'll talk about that, is also doing a weird one of these American accents.

I'm just a guy from Portland, sir.

And then

Reese Witherspoon's southern ass is in there for some reason.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm just like...

Well, I think she produced it.

I think this was like one of the first movies she produced that she funded.

When I saw her, I'm like, oh, is she going to be like, hello, governor?

It's me, the punk room Vespa gal.

Anyway, we'll talk about the Reese Witherspoon stuff.

But anyway, so people are doing weird accents.

That's like, they don't need to.

Why are you doing that?

Just let them speak how they speak.

Thank you.

It literally adds to the fantasy of it.

Agreed.

Yeah.

Like if you're doing a fairy tale, fairy tales have British people.

We all know that.

Yeah.

Correct.

Anyway, so

what happens in her like Love is Blind thing is that she meets a guy, they connect, and then she'll come out and then she'll reveal the pig nose.

And they all inevitably jump out the window.

There's this montage of dudes jumping out the window that is so fucking hilarious.

And then they have their like butler tackle the guys.

It's great.

They are so weak.

They would rather jump out a window than commit to a beautiful woman in a pig nose.

I'd rather die than see an ugly woman.

Ugly.

Ah!

But yeah, the movie has a real like cartoony sense of humor.

I really like that.

I like the slapstick stuff.

It's really great.

So, and so, but also, like, the reporters are always trying to get photos of Penelope.

She's like a local legend, one of those reporters.

Peter Dinklage.

Again, you're like, hey, someone we love.

He's like a reporter.

He's in a little drawer, and Catherine O'Hara hits him with a spoon, and I guess it knocks out his eyes.

He has it blind eyes.

He has an eye patch for the rest of the movie.

Well, also, don't sneak in a bitch's house and take pictures of her babies.

No, I agree.

Catherine Rahara.

She's very valid in that.

She's right to hit him with a spoon.

Yeah.

Stand your ground laws in London.

Or wherever they are.

Right.

They all run over there, but they'll whack you with the spoon.

And they say open carry.

It's someone with a spoon in their back pocket.

I do think there's a little bit of a thing to mention where it's like, okay, so Catherine O'Hara and Richard E.

Grant, their characters are from their

blue blood family.

They're from this like, you know, old money lineage.

So in order to break the curse of this pig nose situation, even though it's not really, she looks whatever.

She looks great.

It's that she.

Matt, you got something to say about that?

She has to be

She has to marry or be accepted by someone from their own own kind.

Right.

So it has to be someone who is also a blue blood or whatever, who accepts her for who they are.

Yeah, she has to fall in love with someone from her own kind.

There's a very fun resolution to what that actually means at the end.

So they're kind of like looking for someone of like high breeding.

They find James McAvoy.

Again, we were so rich with McAvoy for a while and then no McAvoy for a long time.

a long time.

Maybe he's on a show on epics or something, but I'm like, where is this guy?

Oh, he's around.

Yeah, he's been around so he was in that movie speak no evil this year which is maybe not a great movie he's awesome in it he's so good he's so funny fantastic oh split yeah well speak no evil is a remake of another yeah like a Dutch international which I've watched that movie so I've had no reason to watch the remake except for him he's great right he's the man and I like that movie he's in where the bullets curve

wanted

Angelina Jolie

where Bullets could do that.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

He's like,

I mean, we're going to do a hunk watch later.

He's the obvious hunk watch, of course.

No-brainer.

He's such a smokeshow.

But also, rat boy or goat.

Rat, goat.

Oh, you talk about Mr.

Tumness.

We cannot forget about Mr.

Tumness in the line, The Witch of the World.

Yeah, and he's got to be a normal tumn.

No, is he?

That's funny.

I never, I read those books as a kid, but I never saw the movie.

Oh, my God.

The first two movies are fantastic.

They are.

James McAvoy was a fuckable tumbler.

Yes.

Yes, very.

He had no shirt but a little red scarf.

Yeah.

And a little fur on his chest.

Isn't that what we're watching next?

And then he had them goat legs.

Them goat legs, though.

Can I do this them?

Them goat legs.

Yo, what them hoods, dude?

Yo, yo, goat boy, I got a can for you to eat.

Joaches loves can.

Whoa, here he comes.

He's a pan eater.

All in goats.

All in goats.

All in goats.

This is the funniest thing I've ever thought.

Anyway, rat boys, there's goat boys.

Goat boys.

Okay, so this kind of like starts the little romance between James McAvoy and Christina Ricci.

They're like dating through the wall.

She says to him that, I know you play an instrument.

This is a little, I don't know how she figures that out.

She's like, I know you play an instrument.

And he says, I don't know why he doesn't own up to what instrument he can play, but they do this.

She was trying to make him interesting, and he was trying to seem like mysterious boy, you know, like it's weird, weird flirting.

And this was very

2006.

Yeah.

Like, I feel like the rom-com

like twee

2006 era was full of this.

Everyone, it was like Amelie did it right, which I love Amelie.

Amelie is one of my favorite movies

of all time.

And then everybody tried to do a lazy version of that where it's like, everyone's got a little story inside them.

What instrument do they play in their heart?

So they do.

Do they have a little tin box in their soul, like full of spice?

I play the creme brulee

with my tiny spoon.

What is the creme brulee but an instrument that you eat?

And then everybody would be like, wow, Academy Award.

Yeah, totally.

So she's like doing

college.

Now I'll watch Supersize Me documentaries.

Talk to me.

Anyway, so there's this thing, there's this kind of like cute gag that happens because of that, where like there's a huge jazz band in his little room and he's playing all the instruments badly.

Very cute.

Like that joke.

Okay, so then he sees her and like kind of reacts badly.

This part of it, I didn't quite understand what was going on.

So he and then he runs out and he's been working with Peter Dinklage and one of the other guys who

had some sort of like scandal that he's trying to clear his name.

He's trying to like prove that there's actually a pig woman

because people think he's crazy.

So like

McAvoy's in cahoots with these guys.

They kind of find out that he's been working with these guys because he like gambled away all his money.

And then she kind of gets insulted by this and runs away so she covers her face with a little scarf which is like cute scarf cute scarf she looks great she has a nice uh like a multicolored coat very paddington um and i'm like she spent her whole life in this thing no one's covering her face so she can go out to the fucking park or something very weird

yeah well the whole thing feels very like um children's book yeah like logic is it based on a children's book because it feels like it's based on a children's book it does doesn't it?

I don't know if it's based on a specific one, but it has that very fairy tale logic, but they've tried to put it into this hipster,

semi-realistic life.

But yeah, all of her clothes are amazing.

And I mean, if I was like any girl from the 2000s, Anthropology was the store.

And I have not set foot in there in a decade.

And but it's like,

it had all the best features, the little room where she hangs out behind the glass.

So there's all the suitors that hang out in a library on one side of the glass.

And then she hangs out in this beautiful, like, terrarium-type green room with like little kitschy bullshit under little glass bulbs.

And she has a swing, a swing in there.

It's like

my greatest fantasies.

I still want that room.

Yeah.

I still want to live in the anthropology store from 2006.

This movie spoke to that part of my soul so hard.

Emily, as a bedroom stand, is this the greatest bedroom in a movie we've watched?

Yes.

Oh, it is.

This is the one.

My other one was It Takes to the fancy bedroom that

it's a fucking good bedroom, but this is the better bedroom.

My personal favorite is from Princess Diaries 2.

Oh.

When she goes into the castle for the first time and then she walks in that closet and everything just like comes out.

Like everything,

and all the jewelry, and the shoes, and then the big, giant, massive bed.

I think we can make that happen for you.

I just want to say, I think that's that is more realistic than having a family in this

family.

Women can have it all.

The job, the bedroom, and that's it.

That's it.

That is all women can have.

That's all we need for juvenile at this point.

Listen, you and I have talked about our struggles with all that, but I think we can make that goddamn bedroom happen.

Okay, thank you.

I want to make it happen.

All right.

So, Penelope's out.

She's like discovering the world.

She like tries a beer at a bar.

She like gets a straw and like drinks it through her little scarf.

It's one of those things where she's like, give me a beer.

And the bartender just gives her something.

What kind of beer?

Everyone in a movie,

just say stout, say lager.

Don't just say a beer.

And then the bartender gives it to you.

That's not how it works.

What in the world?

The first time I went to a beer,

Jordan,

he got so mad.

He doesn't ever happen to be a bad person.

But, like, it doesn't teach me a beer.

Because the first time I went to a bar, I was like,

one alcohol.

I had

a beer for, they gave me like whatever, and I was like, this is horrendous.

Like, why does no one talk about how nasty beer is?

Oh, yeah.

Because they don't.

They're just like, I'm going to drink it.

And also, not high in alcohol content.

So, like, how are you getting drunk off of one beer?

Well, she's been trapped in a rumor hole.

Okay, true.

And she was 25 years old.

And I think she just eats candy.

She does.

She only eats fabby alcoholics.

And she is like genetically at least part pig.

So who knows?

That's true.

That's true.

She probably needs to be eating a lot more than she does.

So, yeah.

So that.

You never see her eat.

You never see her eating.

She just wraps out her hair and goes, darling, here's your trough of

your own.

Not the trough.

Not that.

So

at the bar, she meets, she meets Rhys Witherspoon, who is this kind of like tough punk rock.

She rides a Vespa.

She's like a delivery person or something like that.

And she says,

she says to the guy, she's like talking about how she doesn't date.

I think she's supposed to kind of represent a woman who doesn't need a man.

And who just, she also had just gotten hit by a car, which doesn't factor into it.

But I thought.

Oh, she did.

Really funny.

It's a really funny way to enter a bar.

Yeah, she came in like, ah, I just got hit.

Give me a big bag.

I almost hit everything.

And so she says to the bartender something along the lines of like, she's talking about the guy she just broke up with.

He's like, oh, he was trying to like make me a white picket fence girl.

Do I look like a white picket fence girl?

Yes, you do.

You're Rhys Witherspoon.

You look like high cooling on a windowsill, girl.

You look like a chasing bullfrog.

Yes, you're a white picket fence girl.

Can I just say something?

Yeah.

She had to invent a whole ass movie in order to say that out loud.

Right.

Because she and i are both from nashville she went to the high school that was um harpeth hall that was our rival in sports and stuff we whooped their fucking ass yeah boo like the way they like rock and roll her up is she has a leather jacket and one braid one

one singular braid and they like put eyeliner on it and then smudged it a little bit and was like it's like this is i know it is so it's so like yeah she's alternative and i'm really i'm sorry this is a role for Lori Petty.

Where was Lori Petty?

Oh, shit.

Yeah,

that would have been so cool.

Yeah.

What the fuck?

Anyway.

So, like, Rhys Witherspoon kind of tools around with her on the Vespa, and they, like, learn about life and honestly, when she came on camera with her, it was kind of a brush, like a breast.

A breast of fresh air.

A breath of breasts.

It was a breath of fresh air.

I felt like everything else was just a lot of people kind of pretending to be something else.

And then here's this girl that's just a mess.

My favorite part is when Rhys Witherspoon is acknowledging Penelope, whose face is totally covered, and Penelope is saying, You're so beautiful.

And she goes, Are you drunk?

She goes, I am drunk.

And I was like, Cool.

I wish people would say that to me when they gave me a compliment.

And I went, Are you drunk?

Yeah,

I will not remember this.

What's that have to do with anything?

Yeah.

So they

something happens in their adventures where like Penelope's face gets revealed and like everybody sees her.

And this starts a like movement where everyone loves Penelope.

She's like this,

you know, she's just like this national celebrity.

There's all these like

there's all these like newspaper headlines.

This movie has great newspaper headline gags.

Just the most insane newspaper headlines you can see.

Yeah, there's like Penelope Embraced by City, Scarf Sales Soar.

I just love that that's a newspaper headline.

I feel like we needed to need it a little bit.

Right.

Also.

And it's on on the front page.

Nothing else is happening.

No way.

Nothing else.

It does need to be said how much she would thrive during COVID.

Oh, yeah.

I thought

watching that, I was thinking the same thing.

I was like, this, you know, it almost feels dated because people are like, why are you wearing that thing around your mouth?

And it's just like, no, because, you know, there's a lot of good reasons to do this, guys.

Right.

Yeah.

Bad nose job.

You know, yeah, a bad nose job.

She could have said, I'm sick.

You know,

we didn't know what that was at that time.

Yeah.

I mean, if her scarf sales are soaring or is on the front page of the newspaper, we're probably living outside of a time in which any real news is happening.

It's not like there's a war on terror during Penelope.

All the news is scarf.

You can see in Sindinklage's office,

in Dinklage's, so Dinklage writes for the newspaper.

He has a framed headline.

The headline, the front page headline is world's Tallest Building.

That's not how newspaper headline is.

No, that's a noun.

That's just one noun.

Well, actually, I was for a minute there enjoying all of the pig pun headlines that kept happening.

One of them was Penelope squeals no.

And then

are there others or is she the only little piggy in town?

They kept flashing these news headlines.

And I was like, y'all, if you got any other headlines, let's fucking go.

The writer of this movie, their main credit is like 50 episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond.

No, interesting.

So, you know, like the jokes get kind of like yuck-yucky, but like, it is a professional sitcom writer.

And you can tell by a lot of these jokes.

Like, they're like good, solid sitcom jokes.

And funny enough, I graduated with a degree in journalism.

And, like, in order to get that degree, I would just pitch weird stories like that.

Like, my journalism teacher

building exists.

No, literally it'll be like in the cafeteria.

This cafeteria is serving pig brains on Wednesday.

Can you believe it?

Like I would do stories like that.

No, it ain't real.

But my teacher would be like,

can you just do like a legitimate story at least once?

And I'm like, no.

You're like, no, that's real news.

So seeing those headlines, I was like, oh, that's fun.

You could make this

purpose.

I could.

I have a whole degree in it.

You have a whole ass degree.

You're living in the wrong reality.

You want to put it in the Penelope.

I don't know.

I think Michaela's living in the right reality.

So,

so, okay, so everyone loves Penelope,

and then the guy, the kind of evil suitor, tries to like marry her to repair his image.

I don't mean to be the make sense police with this movie.

If everyone loves Penelope

and

is the movie not over, like dramatically, like, if

it's weird that they're like, okay, now we have to break this curse because

the parents are so worried about her being a shame on the family, but she's a celebrity.

So, I'm kind of like, why are they working so hard to break the curse still?

Anyway, more stuff has to happen, I guess.

Yeah, character development has to happen.

I don't think she was like fully developed.

She just like became a star and was just like, oh, I'm just going to keep wandering around the city with Reese Witherspoon.

Right.

Pig nose.

Like she wasn't really figuring out anything about herself.

She still is time.

She is still on the lamb from her parents at this point.

Yes.

Which, can we talk about how I did like the

idea of, I think as southern women, you and I,

the like southern mothers, I think the traditional

thing is that the best you can look is going to give you the

best life.

The best life.

And that is just, and I think that's all women in general.

But I do feel like when I was watching Catherine O'Hara's character, in the beginning, you're like, oh, she's just looking out for her daughter because she wants her to have the best life.

It seemed like she really loved her.

But as time went on, you went, oh, no, no, this is about her.

This is about her image that has nothing to do with her daughter.

It's, and it was slowly, because you don't want Catherine O'Hara to be a bad mom.

Right.

You want her to be a stressed mom because she's the best stressed mom she is.

And they have her do things in this movie where they have her like scream at the camera and faint.

I'm like, she's just doing the home alone move.

And if you get Catherine O'Hara, you have her do the move.

She's the best stressed out mom of all time.

But yeah, it was,

it made you think, I think in the 2000s too, because it was a very...

looks oriented decade.

We'll be honest about that.

But so you're like, you had a, you had a big old step ahead if you've looked a certain way or whatever.

Yeah.

But it was like, you know, that was a positive message to be like, even if your mom feels this way, it doesn't matter.

You have to, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you were bummed that Catherine Hera turned out to be kind of a little bitch.

She has some great, and they hold on her at the end of scenes while she's spinning her wheels.

I'm sure she's just improvising.

She says so much funny shit.

And now there's something like

she's like, oh, I was just making my daughter feel bad.

Isn't that what moms do?

Make their daughters feel bad.

And it's just holding on her.

I'm like, they're they're just letting her go.

It's so fucking weird.

Literally, if they had taken Christina Ricci with the pig nose to go buy swimsuits with her mom, that would have been very relatable.

Like, it's like, no, you don't look like a pig.

And it'd be like, uh,

but like, that's the point, too.

Like, she never taught her daughter how to live life.

Like, when she escaped, which also, y'all just left the door open for her?

Like, y'all don't have security.

Y'all are rich.

Anyway.

But, like, they just, like, she went out to the world and her first instinct was to go eat candy.

Like, she didn't know how to cook, right?

She didn't know how to clean.

She didn't know what a Vespa was, she didn't know what a Vespa was, she didn't know anything.

And, like, they spent the whole

lifetime obsessing over her face when they didn't teach her a life lesson how to live her life.

There's a very important life lesson in this movie that we'll get to right after this.

You know, we've been doing My Brother, My Brother, me for 15 years.

And

maybe you stopped listening for a while, maybe you never listened.

And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years.

I know where this has ended up.

But no, no, you would be wrong.

We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works.

The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on my brother, my brother, and me.

We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening.

And if not, we just leave it out back and goes rotten.

So check it out on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcast.

We're back.

It's free with ads.

We're going to talk about the heartwarming conclusion of Penelope.

So they're trying to get her to marry this jerky rich guy.

There's this

very labored twist involving McAvoy that he was, he's not actually a blue blood.

He's just a normal, like, bum, that they confused him with Nick Frost, who we see at his poker table a lot.

Nick Frost does not talk in this movie until we reveal the twist.

There's a lot of like shots of him opening his mouth and then the camera cutting away.

Yeah, I would love to know what was cut out of this movie.

About 45 minutes.

Gotta be Ross Console.

There's a whole thing we haven't even mentioned about James McAvoy being a jazz pianist.

Anyway,

with some pretty terrible fedoras, which I think we could all agree are

in movie history.

The worst hat.

Nailed it.

Hey, get your own

worst hat.

Yeah, yeah.

The worst hat.

But also, before the hat was revealed, that terrible fedora, his emo haircut

was like when that came out, the little piecey, greasy little pieces in his face.

I was like, I wrote that in my notes as the worst hat because sometimes the hair can count.

Whoa, and I was like, that's the worst hat.

And then he put a hat on top of it.

And I went, oh my God, double-decker Big Back worst hat.

I think that was like a male stylistic choice because I think of like high school musical and Zach Efron's hair was like oh my god, you're right.

I think they wanted him to give a little Efron.

Oh, you're right.

You're right.

Like related to that.

We need someone to Efron in this movie.

We need the girls to watch the movie.

Quick,

get a guy who's 10 years older and Scottish.

Scottish.

Dude, the worst accent ever has a little ephron.

He looks drunk all the time.

Smells bad, probably.

Yeah.

He probably does.

I bet it's a great kind of stink, though.

Yeah, like a great, like, oh, I can't kind of risk it.

I would take a stinky McAvoy over a nice-smelling Efron any day.

Oh, I can't say the same.

I'm a weak woman.

Ooh.

Both.

Right.

So that's so.

So

she decides not to marry the guy.

She likes says she's runs away from the altar and she gets she gets back into her beautiful anthropology room and she says the dress was beautiful too.

We don't talk about the dress.

The wedding dress.

The wedding dress was shit.

Gorgeous.

Gorgeous.

Oh, man.

I thought that too as well.

But I always feel like, as a single woman, saying I love a wedding dress makes me seem insane.

And I am.

Whoa, you talk about anthropology all the time.

I wear that in my attic while I wave.

Oh, yeah.

You talk about anthropology all the time.

And when I go, because I go to Century City Mall, we don't come look for me, bro.

I will not say hi to you.

We at the anthropology.

No.

Don't you?

You and I went to the grove.

We went to the grove.

Yeah.

The anthropology store has a wedding section.

Yeah.

I forgot you and I went there.

Yeah.

I go to the Century City Mall and I go walk around that section too.

And I'm like, we had a whole afternoon where we thought about just getting an appointment and trying on wedding dresses at Anthropology for fuck it.

Y'all are learning so much, Michaela and Emily Lore.

Like there's a lot of lore.

We pick up rats.

We try on wedding dresses.

The same day.

This is the same day.

I'm trying to say in the same 24 days.

I fall asleep on a beanbag chair.

You guys are like, if Mrs.

Havisham was poor.

Great expectations, right?

Literally.

So, yeah, we're almost at the end of this thing.

Penelope says to her mom that she likes herself the way she is, and that breaks the curse because someone of her own kind, her, falls in love with her.

Fucking beautiful.

Her

gorgeous.

Way to go.

Movie.

And then it's this huge dramatic thing, and it's just a fucking nose.

It's like not this huge.

It's not like, you know, Beauty and the Beast.

He gets wrapped up in this curtain of fabric and then his whole body turns into this man.

Her nose is just less big.

Right.

Yeah.

Not much really happens.

Yeah, the budget of this movie, they did not have anything for CGI because they were busy editing out nine subplots.

Well, the only CGI they had was like the fake city in the background.

Oh, yeah.

And the family tree.

There's a little CGI family tree, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it is pretty funny because it's like, okay, we were used to Hunchback of Notre Dame or Beauty and the Beast, where it's a whole man's whole thing that we're like, yikes.

But a woman's just her nose is the thing that makes men go, ah, jumping through a

window.

Men are weak.

Men are weak.

There you go, Matt.

Let's do it.

You can do it, Matt.

All right, you got it.

Fine.

Men are weak.

Yeah.

There it is.

That is really funny, though.

Like, men have to be a whole ass beast

in order to be considered not fuckable.

And people will admit they would still fuck the beast.

Yes.

We all would.

Honestly.

We would.

So, yeah, so that's kind of the end of the movie.

Then

there's this thing that is weird.

She goes back and she gets McAvoy and her Mose is normal.

There's another flash of like newspaper jokes

that

the world is tired of Penelope.

And to illustrate that, one of the newspaper headlines says,

Gorilla Boy found in laundry.

I have not laughed so hard this year as I have at Gorilla Boy found in laundry.

So many questions and not a single answer.

I know.

I love those jokes where it's just like, what happened?

I want Pig Lady and Gorilla Boy to fuck.

Make that the sequel.

I'm sorry, the squeak will be a little bit more motivated.

The squeak will be for the squeakel.

Yes.

So, you know, she marries McAvoy and he puts his on a swing, and that's the end of the movie.

That's Penelope.

It's a good one.

It's a good one.

Are we going to do Hunkwatch?

Yeah, so we're going to try something a little different today because we know there's nothing podcast listeners like more than slight changes to familiar formats.

Certainly no one will freak out.

Everyone's going to be so normal.

Everyone's going to be very normal about us, changing something slightly.

I won't.

I'm mad.

The show's gone downhill.

Boomy.

So what we're going to do, instead of doing our best lines of the movie, we want to dedicate an entire segment to Hunk Watch.

We feel like it's everyone's favorite part of the show.

Everyone has opinions.

So before we do our review, we're going to do Hunk Watch.

It's Hunk Watch.

Yeah.

So we're going to talk about our favorite hunks in the movie.

Let's Let's go around the horn.

I mean, you know, Christina Ricci, all-time hunk.

I think we can raise her into the rafters at this point.

I'll go, you know, I'll go first.

I don't know if anybody's going to say this, but I feel very strongly about this.

Dinklage.

No, I agree.

Do you?

I actually, especially after he gets the eye patch.

Oh, he looks amazing with the

cool.

Not to be old.

Oh, another old.

But

he's so great in everything.

He's so funny.

He's so cool.

And yeah, I like love his outfits in this movie.

Love the patch.

Love the old newspaper reporter stuff.

Any other,

let's hear about some other hunks.

Anybody have any different opinions?

Richard E.

Grant.

I want to hear your explanation for this.

Okay.

I just think he is one of the most effortlessly

classy, sexy men.

He seems like like the same age as long as I've ever seen him on camera.

And I feel like he could take care of me.

And I feel like those fingers are long.

Fingers.

Yeah, yeah.

And I think he's probably the tallest person in this movie.

Yes.

We'll see.

Hold on.

Oh, tallest guy.

Woo!

Yeah, I think you're right about that.

And also, you did mention fingers, so I think a fingering story.

Thank you.

Sorry, Michaela.

Matt, do you have have any opinions on the hunks of the movie?

Yeah, I've got a weird hunk.

It is an actor by the name of Bern Gorman.

Okay, tell us more.

Who did he play in the movie?

In the movie, he played sort of, he had a very small part.

You will recognize him.

Do you guys, we all watch Game of Thrones, right?

Do you remember when they were living outside the wall and, you know, all of the Night's Watch guys had a mutiny?

And then this one guy with this really British bone structure is getting drunk and he's on a power trip, and he eventually gets stabbed in the back of the head, and the sword goes through his mouth.

I don't think I remember that death, but I think I can picture the guy.

This feels very specific.

You have to look up, you're gonna have to Google his, as soon as you see his face, you'll be like, That guy, he's in this movie.

Uh, he has a very he is the face of a marionette puppet.

Yes, he has a face of a marionette puppet.

Uh, oh, this guy, he's also doing a weird American accent.

Yes, and he is

another of the many British actors who cannot do an American accent, and they got them all together in this movie.

I find something incredibly hot about him.

I think you're right.

He's very handsome.

He's in the Pacific Rim movie.

He's in the Pacific Rim movie.

I like him in those.

He's right in those.

He's not even a bad guy in that one.

Dude, he's in so much.

He was in The Last Beetlejuice, too.

He was the priest.

Oh, the damn thing.

He did a lip sync for your life there.

Yeah.

He did.

He's a classic Jordan Morris, that guy from that thing.

Yeah, yeah.

That guy from that thing.

And

people should know his name.

His name is Bern Gorman.

What a name.

It's a cool ass name.

And he is truly a great actor.

He's not great in this, but he's hot.

Everyone's not.

He's barely in it.

But yeah,

I wonder what his subplot was.

Yeah.

Well, we're going to wreck Penelope on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials when we come back.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Long.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

We're back.

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We're here with Michaela Barnes,

the producer on-camera talent for Good Mythical Morning.

We're going to rank Penelope on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials because that's what you got to pay to watch it.

Um, yeah, I'll go, I'll go first.

Um, it's a six for me.

I really had a fun time watching this.

Uh, you know, it's a little bit of a mess, it's kind of cut up, it, you know, doesn't track in some areas, but like it is funny throughout.

It has like great gags.

I laughed a lot watching this, and yeah, some like great scenery, fun, and basically every actor you like pops up in some capacity.

So yeah, it's a blast.

It's a cool like cult classic.

And thank you, Michael, for bringing it to our attention.

I hadn't even heard of it.

Thank you for watching it.

I loved it.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah, totally.

It's a total blast.

Emily, what do you think?

I'm going to give it a solid seven.

I enjoyed myself watching the whole thing.

There was a little bit of forced

connection between James and Penelope when he's behind the glass and she's behind the the glass.

They don't have electric chemistry, the two of them.

They don't have chemistry, which is crazy because they both are able to have chemistry with so many people.

But somehow, I think it's probably because she's shooting all of her scenes separately.

Yeah.

And like, so is he.

So it's like they aren't really given the chance.

And I think it wasn't really about the chemistry.

It was about their own individual journeys, except for James McAvoy's journey was convoluted and didn't exist.

Sure.

He wanted to find her.

He just had to find her.

And also jazz?

Like, music.

Music.

Yeah, I know.

I kind of wish that he was just a blue blood kid that like hated how rich he was and was blowing all his money and that was it.

And then she inspired him to be more.

Yeah.

But instead, jazz.

I don't know.

Too many twists.

But

yeah, so I wish there was a little bit.

like more connection between the characters.

I loved it as soon as Rhys Witherspoon came in and was besties with her.

That was actually where the thing got down running for me.

But I would watch it again.

I had a blast.

It felt very whimsical.

It felt very 2006.

It took me back to going to the sales section at Anthropology and stealing the candles.

Maybe as far as vibes go, this movie is kind of a proto-Paddington, I would say.

Oh, yeah.

I think, like,

yeah.

So, you know, if you're, if you, if you like that kind of thing, this has that in the shades.

Matt, why don't you go?

And then Michaela, you can take it home.

Okay.

All right.

I'm going to give this a whoa.

I really enjoyed this movie.

No, I would give it a nine.

It is

where?

At what point?

Talking about it.

There was something.

Okay.

I get really emotional when I'm tired.

Also, I have a daughter.

And so everything in this movie just kind of like kept going back to this idea of raising a daughter in a society that, you know, kind of like lauds beauty as like the number one thing that matters for a child.

And so

for me, watching a movie about someone who's like, you know,

everyone is calling ugly, like hurt, but then also like watching, I know they didn't have chemistry, but I thought it was cute, the idea of James McAvoy and Christina Ricci together.

So I like that.

I would have given it a

10.

But it didn't end with her getting the pig nose back.

I kind of thought that I'm with you.

It was the one weird thing about this movie.

She accepts herself and it's finally like, no, I love myself.

I love my pig nose.

And then they're like, the curse is lifted.

Now you're hot.

And I was just like, but...

She said she liked who she was.

Right.

She just said.

So to me, I was like, the curse wasn't lifted.

You just got...

double cursed.

Now you have to live life being like, oh, I guess I was right.

I was ugly.

And also, what if you don't like this fucking nose?

Right.

And also she loses all her mindset.

She's wrong.

Yeah.

it's definitely like a When Harry Met Sally situation where the ending betrays the theme of the movie.

Yeah, like when Harry met Sally, they shouldn't get together at the end because it's about can men and women be friends.

So the answer ultimately is no,

because they get together.

So this movie is kind of about accept yourself for who you are.

But I mean, I'll change the nose.

Someone else get the surgery.

But also, like, is it more of a fairy tale if we don't do that?

And are they making it just more of kind of a fairy tale story?

Michaela said to me, He was like, So, you wanted the ending of Shrek, and I was like, Yes, I wanted the ending of Shrek, yeah, yeah, which is crazy because it's like every movie where it's

you know, the woman,

it's like it's more empowering if the woman stays the non-beautiful form, but the man never does.

Like, yeah, the man never changes on.

And I think this movie could have used some Smash Mouth.

I'm sorry, yeah,

that was what I was confused about.

Literally,

oink dream.

Body was porked, man.

She ain't the

sharpest pig in the past.

She was looking kind of.

Michael, you can take it home.

What's the rating?

What are your final thoughts?

I am going to give it an eight just because of the lifelong, it feels like connection.

Because I told everybody how old I was when I came out and or when the movie came out and everybody's like, what?

Don't say that.

So it's been pretty much lifelong at this point.

But I need more weird romance movies because again, I don't really love like just straightforward two cute white people who find each other because it's gonna be fellowship.

Two white people together.

Two white people has a pig nerd.

One of them is a little weird looking and also has a curse on her.

And we just need some type of weird circumstance.

We need a woman.

I need more of that.

And I need, I feel like I need more Christina Ricci, too.

Like,

no, she's on Yellow Jackets right now, which is like really, really popular.

Great.

Do you watch that show?

I've watched like a few episodes of the first season.

Yeah, maybe she's.

She hasn't gotten in the show yet.

She's incredible for the show.

I need to keep watching.

If you want to binge that sometime on your bean bag,

you'll come over and sit on my bean bag.

Yeah, watch Yellow Jackets.

We can make that happen.

Hell yeah.

But yeah, no, I loved it.

And I love every movie Catherine.

I don't think there's been a Catherine O'Hara movie that I've watched that I did not like.

She's great in this movie.

So, yeah, it's a solid eight for me.

Good story.

Super funny.

Super fun.

I love camp.

I love weird things.

It is.

It scratches a good itch in my brain.

All right.

Well, that was Penelope.

Michaela Barnes, thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you for having me.

It was fun.

Subscribe to Good Mythical Morning, where Michaela is a producer and on-camera talent.

Yes,

check out the show notes to this episode and watch her dating episode.

Anything else you want to plug?

You want to plug a social media?

Yeah, follow me.

All social platforms are at Michaela, R-A-E-L-A.

Michaela Rayla.

That's how you say it.

Full out.

And yeah, that's pretty much it for now.

Good follow.

Good follow.

Also, there will be a little Michaela playlist.

Yeah, and check out.

Yeah, Emily's making me a playlist.

My top three, Michaela Momas.

Hey, everybody.

We mentioned it earlier, but we got merch.

We love it.

It's so cool.

We think you will love it too.

MaxFunstore.com or the link in the show notes.

We got t-shirts.

We got pint glasses.

We got stickers.

We have hats that say,

oh, God.

Damn it.

You got to always got to have

the worst hat.

Happy.

Happy.

We're very happy.

Fucking sows.

We need our slop, and the slop is drops.

Num, nom, nom.

Pete, we love it.

I'm going to roll around.

I'm going to roll around in shit I make from the drops.

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You take a picture of yourself modeling some of our merch.

You send it to free with ads at maximumfun.org.

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