See ya in 2025, Ya Morons!

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck.
And I'm Ben Soffer. And we're the good guys.
There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones.
Mazel morons, welcome back to the good guys podcast. I'm sitting here with a guy who just found out Avicii died.
It's Ben Soffer. It was planned.
I don't know who did it, Josh, but it was planned. It was an attack.
I was reminded. I was like, oh my God, rest in peace, Avicii.
I absolutely loved him. People are saying that he killed himself.
I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true.
I think he was gunned down too soon. I don't know who wanted to, was out to get him, but somebody was out to get him.
On the mean streets of Yemen, no less. Yes, terrible.

It's just terrible.

We miss Avicii.

Rest in peace.

I actually, it's funny.

I saw somebody's comments the other day

under a recent episode

or under one of my Instagram stories.

And she's like, I can't wait to hear this

on the good guys in two months.

And I was cracking up.

I was like, oh my God, you know us too well.

We're only like a week behind these morons.

Yeah, we're a week tops.

And by the way, next year,

Oh,

Thank you. up i was like oh my god you you know us too well we're only like a week behind these morons yeah we're a week tops and by the way next year oh baby we're gonna be so topical it's gonna be amazing we're actually not i think we might be a little further behind because of our editing schedule if only we could predict the future then yeah we'd be on time should we do that predictions for the following week at the end of each episode.
I love it. I love it.

What's going to happen? future then yeah beyond time should we do that predictions for the following week at the end of each episode i love it i love it what's gonna happen in politics who's gonna get canceled what teams are gonna win oh that's fun and then we look back and we see how wrong we were yeah like could you imagine if luigi the united healthcare assassin we find out that he was working in cahoots with a guy named mario i'm sorry you can't be an assassin and be named luigi you can't you can't like he needed to change his name before doing it also the fact that did you know that you could 3d print a gun yeah dude this is the issue this is crazy so we're out here worried about gun laws but you can 3D print a gun in your house you don't need to be able to 3d print chopsticks if they forget it when you door dash sushi this is an invention this is a necessity not guns this is an invention this is a necessity that is just an unbelievable use of the technology can you imagine if you could 3d print duck sauce no i can't and it's an unbelievable use of the technology as always we have to go and ruin things we have to ruin them 3d printing guns what are you nuts and i don't know if you read his manifesto but the problem is i read it and i I was like, damn, he's right. Sorry, I don't read anything called manifesto.
I'll send to a womanifesto. Okay.
Fucking patriarchy. Oh my God.
It was like, it was literally, I think he was saying we spend the most money on healthcare yet we're 43rd in terms of longevity. And that's why he killed him.
And it's like, okay, I hear you, but killing him only put you in jail forever so that you can't help anyone. So Luigi, you made a big mistake.
You made a big mistake. I just want his accomplices to be a Yoshi, a Toad, a peach do you imagine yes bowser so good so good oh man well tell us about your trauma tell us about what happened ben come on the episode title here is mercury is in retrograde, okay? Because the crystals are crystalline.
I've had, I'll start with Friday. My United Airlines debacle showed up.
My goodness, got screwed. I spoke about it in the last episode, so I don't want to go into it too deep.
I was screwed by United. Gets the following week flying home, four hour delay on Monday.
Tuesday night, I'm rushing. I'm making dinner, making Claudia a nice stir fry.
And there was rushing to make Claudia dinner before Claudia was pregnant. But now that Claudia is pregnant, it's like, I'm hungry now.
So I'm like, okay, I'm cutting onions. I'm cutting onions.
I'm cutting onions. All of a sudden, I cut off my finger.
And when I tell you, these are brand new shun knives, these are no joke, Josh. These are no fucking joke.
I did not cut my thumb. I cut off the tip of my thumb.
So much so that I had to go back into the yellow onions and think to myself, is one of these a piece of my thumb or is it a yellow onion? Lo and behold, it was a piece of my thumb. The top left corner, clean off.
Okay. Any questions before I continue moving? Just that they should rename the knives as Shunda knives.
Totally. Too sharp.
Way too sharp. I then go, I call my doctor and I'm like, you know, I kept cooking.
I bandaged shit. I'm like, it'll be fine.
No problem. I call my doctor and I'm like, do I have to go to the emergency room for this? He's like, yes, you need a tetanus shot.
Go. I'm like, okay.
I go to the doctor, to the emergency room. Shout out Cornell, 68th and York.
This is the place. It's where I was born.
This is the place. Heaven on earth.
I was in and out in 90 minutes. Professional, nice, awesome.
Awesome ER, very busy too. But they were just very professional, had their shit together, seemed like they cared.
Did you get triaged? Yeah. Did they check your blood pressure? Did they check your O2? Were you 95 and above? They checked my blood pressure.
You want to guess what my blood pressure was? You were feeling some anxiety. I remember seeing in your IG story, you were like, I'm starting to feel a bit lightheaded, which I'm like, this fool's giving himself a panic attack.
So I would say, I'm going to say 130 over 90. 129 over 84.
Pretty close. Yes, but pretty good.
Pretty good. Pretty good.
We'll take it. We'll take it.
No issues. So yeah, they went through all of it.
They checked for whatever reason. I don't know why they checked my temperature.
They didn't need to do that. I wasn't, I didn't have a temperature.
I digress. We go in, they clean it.
Well, first they unbandage it and I have to see it. And I'm like, oh my God, I didn't realize that that's what I did to my thumb.
The whole top corner is missing, Josh. The whole top corner.
It's indented. This is my thumb.
It's indented. They clean it out.
I see it. And then all of a sudden she's like, okay, I'm going to put this bandage on it.
She didn't say it was going to hurt. She put this bandage on that essentially cauterized, which is burning together the skin, my thumb.
She put it on. I screamed because she didn't warn me.
I was like, ah, oh my God. Hurt so much, so much because you can't stitch it because there's nothing to stitch.
It's just open. So the only way to close it is to burn it closed.
So they burned it closed, covered it up, and now it's just open so the only way to close it is to burn it closed so they burned it closed covered it up and now it's just healing and what are you nuts just so stupid like i felt i was so angry at myself it's just like why man why and then i found out the mercury was in retrograde and do i know what that means not really but believe it. And did they give you any shit for coming in the first place? No, they were like, look, this happens all the time.
We see it. Thank God you didn't clip the bone.
Thank God you didn't clip your nail. Truth is, this could be much worse.
You cut it in like a good spot. It should grow back.
You could have a little indent. So you could look at my thumb and think that it's a little special.
Okay. A little special, but I could also go to Dr.
Diamond and maybe make it a little bit better. So we'll see how bad it is.
Full recovery time is three months. Short term, I should feel the thumb should start to heal over in about two weeks.
You should get a wheelchair for the flight to florida later next week totally you see this i'm on ir that's funny that hurts no i know that pain i i told this story about the girl i think i know i've told this before but not one of my more shiny moments i was dating this girl but it was how do i say this i think she wanted to progress more and be more official than i wanted to be and so i was like 23 she was 26 she was a great person but like i just thought this was like a casual fun thing and i think she wanted something more official But one night she cut her finger badly on a broken glass in her kitchen. And she was like, will you take me to the emergency room to get stitched up? So we're sitting there.
She's got her bandage finger. There's a little girl.
We're like talking to her because she's like looking at us. And we're like throwing a ball with her.
She's like waiting for her mom who's being seen. And she looks at us and goes,

is this your girlfriend to me?

And I stop and go,

this is my friend.

She's my friend.

And I just felt her go.

Oh,

yeah.

You could have just given it to her.

The woman was in the ER.

I'm such a piece of shit.

I heard Olivia behind the screen go, oh. That's bad, right, Olivia? It just hurts, but like, I get it, you know? It hurts.
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One thing that I want to quickly clarify about this thumb, never did I feel pain.

Isn't that strange?

I didn't feel pain when I caught it.

I was just looking down and it was literally I was losing liters of blood.

When I got to the hospital, I didn't feel pain.

The only time I felt pain was when it was cauterized.

And right now I don't feel pain.

There's no pain.

Isn't that strange?

Just saying, no pain, just ugly.

Yeah, I wonder if it's like the placement of the digit

because it's not, obviously it's one of the furthest things

from your heart, right?

Like your toes, your fingers.

So that's interesting. Yes, could be top left corner whatever so yes keep me in your thoughts and prayers hopefully i don't die in the middle of the night mercury will no longer be in retrograde on monday so we're almost out of the woods now we have the biggest yenta audience of all yentas and god bless them thank god were they slipping in your dms left and right giving you unsolicited medical advice and inadvertently breaking your hippa they were certainly telling me that i was gonna get first it was like did you get stitches did you get stitches did you get stitches then the ones that were really smart they already knew carterizing okay this is a new word for me i didn't know about this i didn't know carterizing they were like i think a new word for me.
I didn't know about this.

I didn't know carterizing.

They were like, I think it's carterize, isn't it?

Cauterize.

There's no R.

It's not like coach carterize.

I think it's cot, cotter.

Cauterize.

Yeah.

Welcome back.

Cauterize.

Okay. Maybe.
Whatever it is. I didn't know about this.
They knew about it. Everybody said when I, this is actually hilarious.
When I said thank you to Cornell on Instagram, because it's nice to shout out a hospital when they do good work, because certainly if they gave me a bad experience, I would have read them to filth. So I told them about this beautiful experience and I got at least 10 isolated messages saying something to the effect of, oh, saying that Cornell is a great hospital is like saying Rolls Royce is a great car.
Like we know their ER is great. Apparently, I had no idea.
If you have a problem, this is the ER. This is it.
I don't know. They're all, even the former mental hospital, Bellevue downtown is beautiful.
I mean, New York hospitals, unless you go to like NYU Langone, like in Soho, which is a great hospital. It's just not as pretty.
Like some of these New York hospitals are just in stunning buildings. They're stunning buildings.
They're really nice. What I had experienced though in the past, like I think the last time I went to an emergency room, it was Lennox Hill.
And I just remember the lines being so long and it taking me like five hours and I'm there in pain and I want to be seen. This was really boom, boom in and out.
And the people on call couldn't have been nicer. The guy next to me, it's funny.
They put you like just between a thin sheet right next to another emergency room patient.

And I just hear the guy over there.

He has an itchy foot.

Apparently, he's been to the podiatrist.

He's having some problems.

His foot is chronically itchy.

And I hear him say, this is my wedding of nuts.

He goes, yeah, man, athlete's foot runs in my family. And I i'm like athlete's foot does not run in a family that's good maybe maybe you all just like practice dunking your foot in the pool and then putting it raw in a shoe but athlete's foot does not run in a family it's not it's not genetics it sounds like it runs in their shower oh maybe it does it does oh my god yeah nasty oof oh my god athlete's foot have you had athlete's foot no baruch hashem i've never had athlete's foot but i did i've had a wart on my foot before which is why if i walk around if you see me in any public space i have my own flip-flops on and i'll go and you know me i'm an equinox boy through and through but some of these derelicts are in the in the schwitz with no flip flop on i'm like that's gross it is gross that is gross it's it's nasty and like i know they say that they thoroughly sanitize these public flip you can the idea idea of a public flip-flop, that's the same thing as saying that you're going to wear bowling shoes with no socks.
Been there. That's disgusting.
Now, your wonderful father, Bruce, I saw, came to the emergency room. Now, tell me, did you call daddy? Daddy? He literally happens to live really close to the hospital.
Okay. So So I called him.
I'm like, Dad, because he's a chef. I'm like, Dad, you know, have you had this before? I cut off my thumb.
Like, what do I do? And he's like, did you buy the Shunda knives? He's like, yeah, that's terrible. Sorry, I'll meet you.
I'm like, you really don't have to meet me that's cute it's sweet it's not it it is very sweet that he came he brought me a fresh baked cookie but it's funny he was there i gave him my chair he sat i stood he was next he was next to me i'm being seen by the nurse he goes up to the nurse he says you know my wife has a small rash on her back do you mind if i call her it's like i'm here talking about my thumb and you're worried about mom's rash so good so no but he's he's the best and it was nice that he was there and me a delicious cookie delicious it was like a marzipan type almond type cookie You don't get this from the store. You don't.
Well, you only get this from Bruce.

Speaking of our Yenta listeners and their medical advice. So on a previous episode, I talked about perhaps taking some voice lessons, not to actively lower my voice, but to take any restraint or tension out of my voice the way you would in an acting class or a yoga class working for your overall physical because in acting the less tension the better and a lot of people hold tension in their voice and we had some it just goes to show in my experience the most educated qualified people tend to be the the absolute or sure of themselves.
And it's the people who really are not qualified who are like, I know what's wrong. So we had some PhDs, some speech pathologists slid into my DMs ago.
Sounds like it could be this. You might want to try this modality.
You might want to try this person. And this could be this you might want to try this modality you might want to try this person this could be beneficial to you perhaps maybe could be this then i have this sienta she goes your tongue time you have thrusting tongue i go it sounds like the name of a strip club the thrusting tongue.
I go.

It sounds like the name of a strip club.

The thrusting tongue.

It's a cunnilingus finishing move.

And now for the thrusting tongue. Yeah.

You just hear somebody on the phone.

Not the thrusting tongue finisher so I go oh my god I'm like no I have an underbite which is why I have a lisp that I've had since I was four years old but and she goes you're tongue-tied you have thirsting tongue and i should know i'm an oral hygienist what is wrong with people so much so much so much so did you see have you seen anybody or no no we delayed it it's good we delayed it i to tell you, Josh. I don't know if we, I think we've lightly told the people, but Josh wrote an intro song for this podcast that you guys will hear in 2025 that we are both singing on.
That when I tell you, Josh sent me a sample of him singing on this. Josh is Michael Buble, if he wasn't mean to his wife.
He's unbelievable. He's the voice of an angel.
You don't need anything. You're good.
God bless you. Wait till you hear Ben singing on it.
It's going to be unreal. Best podcast theme song in the game.
I don't know if that's something to be proud of, but it will be good and produced by the great super Chris Abraham, who any Drake and Josh heads will know. He's been very instrumental in that music and he's quite talented and it'll be wonderful.
Oh, I can't wait. It's going to be good.
But dude, no, I just have, I have crippling TMJ that I recently. Oh, tell me this guys.
I'm at a loss here. I don't know what to do.
Sometimes I go to my boy, Dr. Serge for Botox and my masseters.
Shout out, Dr. Serge.
Love them. Love them.
West side oral surgery. Love them.
West Valley, maybe. Sorry, Serge.
Anyway, West Valley oral surgery, but I wear a night guard. I do all the things.
So i've even now toyed with taking a beta blocker at night which is a blood pressure medicine to make me less anxious so i'm not grinding at night because i wake up magnesium not to be one of those yentas do you take magnesium at night well i take element so i start taking during the day Can you start taking 500 milligrams of magnesium every night? Sure, I'll try it. I'll try anything.
I take 500 milligrams of magnesium every night. And within 45 minutes, I'm asleep.
And my racing thoughts, silence. Just saying.
Okay. Okay.
Try it. Try it.
Try it. Continue.
I'm in. So I finally, for the first time, tried acupuncture with my sister-in-law suggested her acupuncturist.
Wonderful woman. Wonderful time.
I just, I just, you know, it's interesting because she puts in the needles all over my legs, my arms, my face, my head. And she goes, I'll see you in a half hour.
I go, this is it. to i have to ask and before i say it no we're not cutting it out this is not racist what ethnicity was the person giving you acupuncture she was a wonderful white girl i'm out i'm out no but they have to learn they learn it josh from this is their this is their This is their calling.
This is it. I don't want a white woman giving any acupuncture.
I don't want it. But they can and should.
But they learn from like Chinese Eastern medicine universities. Yeah, I'm just saying a Chinese woman never would have left you for 30 minutes.
She would have been there by your side.

I think so.

Talking you through it.

She wouldn't have left you.

The white woman was overrun.

She had 15 patients at once.

She placed you, pricked you, ran to three more.

It's just a business for them.

For the Chinese, it's life.

It's life.

The Chinese do it better.

Title.

The Chinese do it better. What? The Chinese do it better and mercury is in retrograde this would be fun you're gonna you and i were together right now we go boys night boys night boys night staying in nick's game watching it on tv let's order in chinese what's your order okay i am going with a spring roll of an ice veggie spring roll.
If we're feeling fat, I'm going with a fried dumpling. Okay.
That could be a veggie fried dumpling. That could be a chicken fried dumpling, but the fried dumpling, I'm telling you, you've all been ordering steamed dumplings for too long because it's healthier, but the fried dumpling, the crisp, amazing.
Okay. I'm getting a light fried rice, something, a veggie fried rice, a chicken fried rice, love a fried rice.
I'm getting a peanut butter noodle. I love the peanut noodles.
Dan Dan. Yes.
Yes. A cold peanut noodle.
Fantastic. It's basically a palate cleanser between courses is the cold peanut noodle for the hot items.
We're going to go with the sesame chicken. We're going to go maybe a beef with broccoli.
We're going to go with, I like something orange, like an orange chicken's really good too. I also like Kung Pao chicken.
Like when you get a little spice and a little bit of those peanuts, of course, of course, a fortune cookie. We'll go with one of the roasted string beans, Josh, and the brown sauce.
I love a roasted eggplant. I love that's what we're doing.
That's what we're doing. We're going to town.
Are we having a nice dessert? Are we getting a lychee? Would love it. I love, I would love a cup of lychee nuts.
I'd love it. Or maybe just, I love when they just throw in a whole orange and a fortune cookie and a fortune cookie.
Did I miss anything? No anything no i a perfect order i love chinese food i mean i again you wouldn't do this i think i would do like a general chow's chicken and then you need a savory offering right so you need those string beans with the beautiful like the the string beans with the beautiful i'll take a white garlic sauce i'll be honest then maybe and this is you wouldn't eat this a nice sweet and pungent shrimp i get it though something or a kung pao something you know kung pao and then you know what's really good josh a mooshu when was the last time you had mooshu you know mooshu i, and sadly we have covered this. It's not a West Coast thing.

I love a Mushu with the pancake and the hoisin.

By the way, even if we've spoken about it, you can't talk about Mushu too much.

There's another episode title, Bring Back the Mushu.

Yes.

We need more Mushu.

America needs more Mushu.

More Mushu.

It's an interactive activity.

Imagine, Josh, if we had the Chipotle of Mushu. We it mushu you walk in you have a huge wrap you throw on your hoisin you throw on your mushu you pick your protein they wrap it like a burrito and it's huge mushu love it love it whoa whoa and the cabbage is crisp delicious you want beef you want shrimp you want veggie you want chicken and on fridays we do the special peking duck we go peking duck on fridays oh my god yes and if we're in montana we go rural venison rabbit fox what the fuck ever we're local we're absolutely local we're picking your local cuisine we're local kings you want bear we'll get you bear new york we go rats no problem i know people that eat bear and it makes me ill oof i know that's not nice that's not that can't be kosher you just don't need to eat it is it kosher is bear kosher i don't know i doubt it i don't know hey sir doubt it.
I don't know. Hey, Siri, is bear kosher? Oh, man, this is going to be on the cover page of like an anti-Semitic weekly.
The Jews, they're eating the bears. Hey, Siri, is bear kosher? Olivia? It's not kosher.
It's not kosher. No split hoof.
No split hoof. It's a puff.
That makes sense. That makes sense.
No split hoof. Bear isn't kosher.
Okay, good. Save the bears.
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Well, this is the last episode of 2024.

Ben, anything to say?

Honestly, this has been an amazing year.

That's all.

That's all. Like, the podcast brings me so much joy.
We work really hard on it. And next year it's just going to be that much better.
Like we're adding in this theme song. I can't even tell you how jazzed I am, but reflecting on the year, we had some amazing guests.
We had some not so great guests. We had some amazing solo episodes, but most importantly, we enjoyed doing every episode.
I laughed so hard. It's my hour a day to laugh and to just forget about everything else going on and talk about Mushu.
And hopefully you're listening and you're thinking to yourself, oh, you know, I got a really busy life. But for an hour, I get to talk about Mushu and Mercury and Ret retrograde and emergency room visits.
Like it's a reprieve for me. I hope it's a reprieve for everybody else.
Olivia, should we talk about some of the big eps of this year of 2024? I sure think we should. I agree.
Yes. What was the biggest episode? We do know.
We do know. I've got them all right here.
Coming in at number one, do you have any guesses? It's definitely Claudia. The first one.
Josh, any guesses? Well, after I heard Olivia go, now I'm questioning, did we have anyone? Hillary was 2023. Miranda was this year? She was 23.
Oh, yeah. At the very end Gotcha No wonder it was such a big year Was Taylor Lautner 2024? I believe Taylor was 2023 as well My god Would we pull out all the stops in 23? We heavy in finance this year.
We're doing fine.

Okay.

Apparently you've never had baked by Melissa mini cupcakes.

Love her.

All right.

Coming in at number one, it's giving toddler with Paige DeSorbo.

Wow.

Oh, yes.

That was an amazing episode.

Love Paige.

So funny.

From Albany, New York.

Queen of the Giggly Squad. Her and Hannah are fantastic.
That was a really fun episode. So funny.
From Albany, New York. Queen of the Giggly Squad.

Her and Hannah are fantastic.

That was a really fun episode.

Really fun.

And then I assume also in the top five is her soon-to-be hubby, the great Craig Conover.

Not the great Craig Conover that Josh knows, the doctor.

But the non-doctor Craig Conover was on the pod, and he was great.

They're great.

That one was really fun.

Who was number two, Olivia?

Number two, Open Toad Lies with Claudia.

So you were right on the money.

Claude's up there.

Love it.

The queen.

The queen bee.

Who was three?

Burn Baby Burn with Hannah Burner.

Other part of the Giggly Squad.

The women, Josh, I'm telling you, through the roof.

Wow.

And then coming in at number four, you're dead right on the money.

Craig Conover needs an underwear sponsor.

Holy smokes.

And who's the fifth?

Ian Fidance?

We love you, Ian.

I love Ian, too.

Who's the fifth?

Coming in at number five, we have a reality TV star from none other than one Vanderpump Rules. Lala Kent.
Christian Doty. Chat GP Stassi, baby, with Stassi Schroeder.
I forgot about that. That was a great episode.
Wow. Unbelievable.
This was a long year. We did that one in LA.
That one was really fun, too. I think we did.
That's when we did Jake. Jake Shane was this year too.
I think that's a trip. Oh, that episode was an incredible one.
Surprisingly,

not in the top 10, but fantastic. Fantastic.
And if you guys haven't listened to all of those

episodes, you should go back and listen to them maybe once, twice, three times.

Just press play and walk away. Yes.
Put us on, Make a playlist on YouTube and leave it going while you're on your vacation this year. Should we get into some weird stories? Well, I think we'd be remiss to not say that vandals are putting hilarious googly eyes on outdoor sculptures, but local officials aren't laughing.
Talk about a site for sore eyes. The city in Oregon is pleading with locals to stop taping googly eyes onto roadside sculptures, as the goofy gag is costing a pretty penny.
Officials in Bend notice the oversight optics taped into metallic artwork of deer and geometric shapes at roundabouts throughout the area while the googly eyes placed

on the various art pieces around town might give you a chuckle the removal has run upward of 1500

because of the adhesive on the eyes it's creepy it's not not creepy but it's kind of funny let

me see i'd love to show you let me see oh oh oh oh oh oh that's nice it's silly that's nice look bend relax you you don't need to spend so much money if you just leave them they look great i agree they look fine bend bend a little bend which yeah are you so worried You're going to bend, you might break. Bend.
You fucks.

Yeah.

Well. bend.
Are you so worried you're going to bend you might break? Bend. You fucks.
Yeah, well. Good for bend.
Well, there was a passenger on a turbulent plane fears end is near as flight crew hands her cryptic item. Are we dying? A nervous passenger was convinced her plane was going down when flight attendants began handing out a very peculiar object to travelers.
The Polish woman, Jula Vadini, who was traveling to San Jose in Colombia, captured a TikTok video of the moment the flight crew began passing out electronic candles throughout the plane.

Confused, she made the sign of the cross and she blurted out, are we dying on the clip?

I was now convinced they gave us candles because they knew we would crash she added over text now let's see why they did it she learned shortly after that there was a logical explanation for the candles as well turns out this is a colombian tradition on the 7th of december one candle equals one wish how awesome oh my god that's hysterical jeez all i have to say is people who are afraid of turbulence okay josh i'm sorry this is gonna be harsh don't fly don't fly this is a known thing turbulence is not at be harsh. Don't fly.
Don't fly. This is a known thing.
Turbulence is not at all dangerous. Nobody has ever crashed because of turbulence.
It's not a thing. Planes bump.
You're in the middle of the air. It is windy.
The plane's going to go up and down. It's going to go side to side.
Typically, the pilot's going to say, we're entering about 30 minutes turbulence. On our flight on Monday.
The woman next to us was so petrified of turbulence, so petrified. I heard her.
She pulled over the flight attendant and she said, if it gets, if it gets to, if the turbulence gets too much, we're going to pull over and we're going to divert to a different airport. Right.
And the flight attendant's like, no, what are you talking about? Like, no, we're not going to divert to a different airport if the turbulence keeps up. Like, don't fly if you have issues with turbulence, okay? Don't do it.
It's too much for you. You can't do it.
No good. That said, for this thing here, Josh, the handing out the candles, they definitely should have prefaced, hey, we have a tradition.
Woo! Yes. December 17th, we're giving out candles.
That's nice. That's nice.
But to just hand them out, I would be a little freaked out too. Right.
Like if a plane did like a collab with a make your own will service, that would be a little alarming. A little alarming.
Just alarming just a little so yeah that lady deserves to be freaked out but if you're afraid of turbulence stop flying it's not for you did you know that pro back scratchers raking big bucks but it's not about sex you have those people with their mind in the gutter itching for some&R? People seeking unconventional relaxation methods are shelling out hundreds of dollars for professional back scratchers. Tony George, the 55-year-old owner of the Scratchers Girls in Miami, charges $130 for an hour of scratching using her 3-inch manicured nails, raking them down her client's back, limbs, scalps, and even the insides of

their ears. Her services are so popular that she also travels to major metropolitans, New York, Los Angeles, Philly, to see her clientele.
You notice they didn't mention Boston because there would just be guys going, oh gosh, that feels fucking wicked, girl. Like, fucking scratch me, gosh that feels so fucking good yeah she they don't in they don't scratch chests or bellies and she's a mistake she requested a man who asked for his nipples to be scratched um yeah but the businesswoman insists that there's nothing sexual about the scratching and she's never broken a nail i love a good scratch oh god yes love it love it that said i could only really get a good scratch josh for so long and then you'd like it to turn into a stronger rub so i don't really understand this can you would you like your back scratched for an hour i wouldn't i would like diggy i this.
You see what I'm doing here? You see this? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. This is light.
This is light. I want tickling.
I want to be tickled and I want to giggle. Now I'm getting sick.
Officer, he's over there. I want to be like diggy on my arm.
If there was a machine that could do that, like Elon, stop making this robot and start making a, just a Diggy machine. Diggy's it.
Yeah. For that, that light little tickly arm.
Fantastic. I'm all in.
I'm all in. I am all in.
Olivia. Professional, professional back scratch.
You bullish on Diggy. Diggy makes me tickle too much.
That little rub on the light on the arm. Can't do it? No, but my roommate in college, she would like sit next to me while we were doing our homework.
She'd make me do that. Wow, this is a very different pod.
This is for Alex Cooper. I gotta excuse myself.
No, no, no. We're just friends, I swear.
No, seriously. No, but she was a big fan of that move.
That was something. It put her to sleep.
Just on the couch. And for me, it's magnesium, you know, to each their own.
Josh, I have the best bite of the week. I don't know if you want to hear it, but.
I do. I went to, I had been once before just for their opening, but I went back new Tao group spot.
Shout out Noah Tepperberg, John Schwartz called the crane club. Josh, we're going to go when you come.
I went to their opening night a couple of weeks ago, but you know, the foods never, it's never perfect that night, right? I went the other night and it was fantastic. Absolutely amazing from the pastas to the steak, chicken, all this stuff.
He's a kosher steak on the menu. This mensch, the crane club, 16th and 10th, we're going to go.
It's the bomb, the bomb. One thing that he had that I wanted to mention, it was this little, it was like this mushroom risotto with rice cake situation.
I think maybe it's called Orancini is the name of it. Topped with truffles and caviar.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Orancini with truffle caviar. Blew my mind.
Wow. Blew my mind.
So delicious. Love it.
Shout out. Love the Tao group.
My best bite of the week is two actually the first because after our failed attempt at the second time for the jackie episode i happen to be near courage bagels on the east side at just the right time and my wife's been craving these bagels lately i and honestly so have i I. So I've now been eating a lot of Courage bagels.

And I know on an episode I got a little angry with them because they can be a little long.

But God damn it, it's worth every second you wake up.

It's good.

And the reason that it's long is because it's fresh baked and fabulous.

But these everything bagels.

They do a sea salt sesame.

They do a rip and dip. Courage bagels, shout do a sea salt sesame they do a rip and dip courage bagels shout out so good and it's so like it's so annoyingly basic of me to be like i really like courage bagels but it's so good i can't get over it and then the other one was i don't know if i talked about this all right maybe i mentioned it on the, but we took my brother-in-law out for a beautiful dinner right before he had his beautiful little son, Gus, shout out Will, for a dinner at Ospie in LA.
Ospie. This is...
I don't think you've mentioned it. Tell me.
It's Italian food. It's really good.
It's like medium to high end. Not like crazy.
It's not like carbon level spending but the food is outstanding did it through dorosia shout out dorosia use my code i don't know what the code is but use it but dorosia you get the ill reservations wherever you want to go at the hottest places but they do they do a chicken it's like a chicken milanese but a masala, right? So it's like a chicken parm cutlet with like kind of that delicious kind of creamy, almost like it's like a creamy tomato sauce on top with a little bit of those Indian spices. Yum.
Fabulous. Fabulous.
Give me 14 of them. I'll take a case.
I'm kind kind of out josh on chicken payard i think it's done payard or par parm hot payard harm harm bury me in parm i was just thinking about chicken payard as you were saying that and i'm done with chicken payard i just i just don't see it i don't know you're getting a pounded flat chicken they're throwing some arugula on top spritzing with a little lemon it's not for me fair enough fair enough because because this is the last episode of the year josh do you have a do you have a wish for the new year do you have something that you hope happens in the new year is there is there anything that you're thinking about that're like, if that happens next year would be amazing? No, I hope for more rain. What'd you say? I hope for more rain.
You hope for more rain. Okay, good.
That's very native of you. Good.
Thank you. You know, for the crops.
Good. You know, they call me agriculture, Josh, The Joshiculture.
No. Yeah, I don't.
This joke doesn't exactly work anymore because of the tensions between Russia and Ukraine. But I'm going to give it to you anyway, because it tells you what I think about New Year's.
It's the early 1900s and they're drawing the lines, the borders between Ukraine and Russia.

And there's a farmer whose farm is right on the border.

His farm is landing right in the middle of the border between Russia and Ukraine. So the guys drawing the border say, sir, you can decide, would you like the border on the side of Ukraine or on Russia? Which side would you like to be on? He goes, I would like to be in Ukraine.
And they go, you're giving up your citizenship to Russia, Mother Russia?

Why?

He goes, I just can't take another Russian winner.

This is what I think of New Year's.

It's just so arbitrary.

It's just made up.

You know what I mean?

So it's hard for me to make resolutions.

So let's reframe.

Over the next 12 months, you would like something good to happen in your life, right? It's already happening. It's called Baby Safar, Baby Baruch Hashem.
Yes, that's a great one. But also, fine, you did one for me.
I'll do one for you. I hope that Paige, Max, and Shy are healthy, happy, and have a wonderful year of excitement and that Joshie takes them on a beautiful trip.
Thank you. Yes, definitely.
We we're definitely i want to go to canada with them i want to go to vancouver and yeah i just my life you know i'm so i'm really really lucky i'm really lucky and i really love the podcast and i love the people who listen we love you olivia we love dear media thank you i love. You're a mensch.
You're a mensch. And our relationship is more important to me than this Fakakta podcast.
So no matter what, I will do right by you before I do right by my wallet, which is why I'm going to need a loan. But otherwise, no.
I'm here with the loan. The podcast is here until we die.

Until somebody kills us.

Somebody's going to kill us.

That would be a great way to go.

Look, if you're targeted, at least you meant something, right?

Like you're nuts, bro.

That's the thing though, dude.

We don't mean anything.

We're fucking meaningless.

We will be a fucking blip like i no it's complete nonsense we're not mozart no one cares like it's nonsense it's so good it's so like oh that's the one thing and when my my friends of mine are lamenting about, you know, like everyone goes through like existential crisis, especially at like kind of our age, I would imagine it starts to lessen once you get into your forties and fifties, I hope. But it's that.
And I imagine it happens to entrepreneurs, right? Because unless you have a nine to five or something that you went to school for a long time for, and you know'm going to be a doctor for the next 40 years or an attorney people tend to go a little bit like fuck you know what am i doing like is it going to work out am i going to get my next sale what does the next 30 years of runway for my life look like what's my legacy and to that i always ask the person is there a chance you're mozart is there is there a chance you are a late stage prodigy that is unrealized and maybe you're galileo or elon musk like if not don't trip because you will be forgotten in fact even if you're Will Smith or you're, I don't know, who else is someone? Juan Soto of the New York Mets. Every single Soto.
Derek Jeter, you are going to be forgotten because there's only a couple a century. So what's a century? Einstein, Elon, Martin Luther King, JFK.
Like, sorry, you didn't make it. So enjoy.
It's all over. Enjoy it.
Do your best. Stop stressing.
I've mentioned my same damn quote a thousand times on this podcast, but worrying about tomorrow's troubles only affects today's peace. I really live by that.
Whenever I'm really stressed, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing to yourself? It's cryptic. You do it to yourself to just chill.
I totally agree. Not everything is that life or death again, unless you're a doctor, don't listen to us.
By the way, don't listen to us in general. No, not at all.
Don't listen. All right.
What are you nuts? Let's get to her. What are you nuts? Or is that like, but you know what I'm saying? Like with legacy and stuff, do you agree? Do you agree with that? Of course I do.
Olivia, you agree? I agree as well. My mom actually sent me a video the other day and it was this lady talking about like, do you know the name of your grandfather's father or did you ever get to meet them? And just showcasing like how impermanent everything is.
So do what you can with right now, enjoy it. Then your quote, you know, don't worry about tomorrow's troubles today because it's just gonna impact that.
And, you know, just do your best to be present in the moment. I hope everybody has a really wonderful 2025 and yeah.
Present in the moment is a great one. One quick thing before What Are You Nuts is I hope to be able to disconnect my brain a

little and disconnect from my phone a little bit more.

I've gotten worse this year for sure.

And the phone, while it's definitely lucrative for us, it's part of our jobs.

It's also poison.

So I'd like to remove my phone from me a little bit this year oh what are you nuts let's yes i've spoken about this travel day endlessly but one piece that i just want to make sure i i don't did i talk about the nuts josh did i talk about the nuts yes they were too hot they burnt your hand i did it already was it my wedding dollar seat Was it my Woody and Nuts? I don't think it was your Woody and Nuts, though. I think you just complained.
I think I just complained. All right, look, my Woody and Nuts, I'm sorry.
I'm sitting in my seat. I was forced to pay $1,700 for a first-class seat.
Part of being in first class is that they give you hot nuts. So she goes, but these are not supposed to be scalding.
She goes to me, you want some nuts? I'm like, sure, I'm hungry. I paid, I'll take it.
She hands me these hot nuts, literally third degree burns. I swear my hand turned purple.
The cup, she must've taken the whole cup, put it in the oven, broiled these nuts and then handed it to me. So it's a what are you nuts about nuts what are you nuts that's double double the other day what about you the other day i was showing my kids peter pan it was one of my favorite movies from the 50s and you know disney plus does a disclaimer yes i've seen go, hey, some of the things in this movie that was appropriate or acceptable in the 50s is no longer acceptable or appropriate.
We know, but we're not going to edit the film. We're just giving you the disclaimer.
So first I was like, what are you nuts? These snowflakes. I was like, so fragile.
I put the movie on i go thank god for this disclaimer this is inappropriate i was like oh my god yeah there's some crazy shit was it the native is it the native americans is it that move right it is right they like make like the native americans's just, yeah. The disclaimer is necessary.
I remember I had the exact same experience. I'm like this fucking people.
I'm never watching Disney again. And then you watch and you're like, Oh my, no, I'm not.
Disney was right on. And cartoons in the fifties are what are you nuts? They are offensive you're like whoa whoa nuts well listen i love you ben you are a mensch to the highest degree i couldn't ask for a better co-host i'm very lucky to do this pod thank you olivia for all your hard work you're awesome and thank you to the great listeners of The Good Guys.
We could not do this without you. And listen, tell a friend because the richer you make us, we're only doing two episodes a week.
Sorry, we're not upping the episodes. But the truth is, what, you got something better to do, you know? Listen to the podcast.
2025 is going to be so good. The first episode of the year.
We're not saying who it is, but oh my God. Huge guest.
And I'm sorry, Olivia, you're going to have to find a way to squeeze in our new intro theme song. It's not ready yet, but it's going to be in there.
It has to be. Theme song, huge guest, January 6th.
Insurrection Day. We are back, baby.
We're taking the Capitol. We have the guy who stormed the Capitol.
Shit, we should have done that. The guy wearing the horns.
He should have been our first guest. Thank you, Noghomen.
Yes. So, yes, we'll see you on Insurrection Day.
But until then, folks, have a very happy new year. Have we made that clear, Ben, that we're taking two weeks off maybe we should say that oh yeah sorry guys we're the worst deuces we're out for the last two weeks we're gonna be getting a tan josh is taking his family vancouver again they're freezing josh take them somewhere warm i know but uh yeah we're taking the last two weeks off.
So you bastards miss us, okay? So you morons miss us. We've been too accessible.
So we're going away for two weeks, but then we're going to see you on the 6th. Between then, catch up.
Go listen to some old apps. Remind yourselves why you need us, because we need you.
But yes, we'll see you on Insurrection Day. As always, this episode, five stars.
If not, what are you nuts? Listen to us on Apple, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch us on Josh's YouTube.
Share our clips, Instagram and TikTok. Mondays and Thursdays, folks, we will see you on January 6th.
Insurrection Day. We love you.
Thank you. Oh, and I'm going to post clips on our YouTube channel for the two weeks we have

off because from some

of our biggest steps, Paige DeSorbs,

Hannah Byrd, Claude Osh,

and all of them, Ian Fye,

and enjoy them.

I love you guys. Thank you.
Love it.

Thank you.