This Episode is CURSED with Jackie O!

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The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Josh Peck.
And I'm Ben Soffer. And we're the good guys.
There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones.
Mazel Morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with someone who was working at McDonald's yesterday in Pennsylvania.
It's Ben Soffer. And I am sitting here with an absolute queen,

Jackie, my sister-in-law, co-host of the Toast podcast,

seller-outer of the Hard Rock Seminole Casino

for Girly Swirlies Night Out.

Jackie, thank you so much for joining us

for the third time in three days.

This is a cursed episode.

We're gonna get into it, but this episode is cursed.

I don't know what's going to go wrong.

The ceiling's going to fall.

The building's going to crash.

Your house is going to light on fire.

Josh, I don't know what's going to happen with you.

You did just have a hot coffee, so who knows?

I just poured it on my lap.

Something's going to go wrong.

Take this, karma.

This episode is cursed, but third time's the charm.

I feel strongly.

So Ben, why don't you share with everyone why this is our third stab at the GGs, the guys of good?

Yeah, I mean strongly. So Ben, why don't you share with everyone why this is our third stab at the GGs, the guys of good? Yeah.
I mean, you guys probably saw on Friday. I had a, I had just a treacherous travel day on Friday.
I showed up to the airport. Look, was I a little late? Sure.
Was I too late? No. They closed the gates 15 minutes before I was there 20 minutes before me and a couple of other elderly folks going to South Florida.
We were all turned away at the gate by United Airlines, United Airlines. And then that just turned into a, I don't know, nine hour travel day.
Then we tried to podcast yesterday, the podcast that Josh was at, they crashed. Okay.
Crashed and burned. And so now we're here.
Third time's the charm, right? Yes. Happy to be here.
I actually, the good guys comes up a lot in my everyday life, unfortunately. And I wonder if Josh, if you have the same experience, cause like my son is really obsessed with superheroes and he's always like, are those the good guys? These are the good guys.
We're the good guys. And I'm like, you're literally Ben and Josh.
Yeah. Wow.
yeah wow that first of all marvel kevin feige get on it the plus size superheroes there's no inclusion with superheroes what's going on here are a pack of superheroes like the phrase good guys is just such a big phrase when you're a child like the good guys and the bad guys and so i'm literally always talking about the good guys. And really showering these guys with so much praise.
First of all, I really appreciate it. And Jackie, I'm dying to know when it comes to Ben's travel follies.
Agreed. Yes.
If you're going to leave early, this needs to be part of the conversation. That there is a chance that we could leave 10 minutes early.
We must know this. But, but left too late.
Now he's leaving way too late. 1000%.
I feel like when you set your departure time, it should always be like a little earlier than it needs to be because you're going to be later than that. So by the time you actually leave, it would be like the on time departure.
So if you set your departure time for the on time departure and then you're a little later than that, then you are late, my friend. So what you're saying is that this is a cursed episode because I have poor time management.
Is that right? Well, that wouldn't explain like why the Internet wouldn't let us like why they were censoring us yesterday and we couldn't like see or speak to Josh. So your part you're half to blame, but the rest is actually out of your hands.
Is the universe. Okay.
All right. I'll take part of the blame.
All I'm saying is that if you're going to have a policy that you close the doors 15 minutes before, that's when you close the doors. Otherwise don't announce the policy to me at all.
There should be no policy. This is so crazy, but sometimes flights take off early.
It never happens, but like it should be a good thing and it should be encouraged that they like got everyone out the door earlier than expected. Yay.
For all the delays. I totally agree.
But then shouldn't the policy, Jackie, be that the doors close 30 minutes before just in case you take off early? I'm just looking to adhere to the policy. Whatever the policy is, I will adhere to it.
Peter, policy over here. I think that if you're going to say that it closes 15 minutes before and you close it 20 minutes before and leave me, Shlomo and Rivka at the door, it's like we were left at Noah's Ark.
These two altacockers, we were left. We were left and now we'll never have a chance to breed.
So true. I agree.
I couldn't be more bullish with policies and I couldn't agree more. You know me, I'm regulation Ralph over here.
The more regulation, the better. But speaking of Shlomo and Rivka, you know, there are these old Jewish names.
Meish. You know what I mean? Yes.
They don't seem to be making their way back into the current vernacular. But there are old school names.
And Jackie, I'd love to hear your opinion about this, because I know you got your ear to the playground streets. The other day, I'm at the playground, and I'm on the east side of L.A la which is like williamsburg it's very hipstery and i hear these names and i wrote them down because this is an early what are you nuts because i just said these names did not need to come back they needed to be forgotten First one, Odin.
Odin. Oh, my.

Odin.

Second name.

Second name.

Juno.

Okay.

Juno. Okay.
Juno. Not Anchorage.
Juno. Third one.
And final. Enos.
Enos. Oh, sounds like penis.
It sounds like four letter names are what's trending, but also like what's old is new again. I just saw like a meme that was like you know it used to be a few years ago it's like ashton and now it's like martha martha's at the playground martha and theodore yeah yeah but theo is cute you can do a good theo i enos is bad jackie enos is no good that's not a name because you'reus or penis.
Or weenus. Or weenus.
The back of the elbow. The forgotten elbow.
The forgotten elbow. People fucking learn shit on this podcast.
This is educational. Enos, that's bad.
That means that like you just like have no respect for your child. Like you want them to be made fun of.
That's bad. No good.
It's like my grandfather, his real birth name was Isidore, but he refused to go by Isidore. Made everybody call him William or Bill because Isidore just was no good.
His parents clearly didn't love him. No, but like Isidore to Izzy pipeline is really cute.
There's a lot you could, Dora, you know, William. Who the, what what? I think that we you have to remember this is 1912.
So maybe Isidore then wasn't the poppin name that it could be now going into Izzy. Maybe he didn't want to be Izzy.
I think William was a strong. William's always been a strong name, you know? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
So Jackie, with your your beautiful children did you purposely go slightly royal with their names well i went classic but then the royals also do go classic so then the names also you're towards royal but like harry i love the name harry my grandpa was harold so it's not because i'm a prince harry whatsoever, but it's just a coincidence that I had like similar taste as Queen Elizabeth and Princess Diana. Cause we're a bunch of Queens who like a classic name.
So like they, the Royal and classic name Venn diagram is just a circle. And I did Harry and then Charles is also a classic name, but yet now Harry, like Harry and Charles.
Yeah. No, Josh, they are so royal, these children.
Like, Jackie, I don't know if you spoke about it. Like, they went to the, Harry went to the ballet this weekend.
And when I tell you, he looked like a young prince. She had him in this, like, I don't even know what you call it, Jackie.
It's called, like, a Peter Pan collar. It's a collared shirt, but it's not, like, a collar, like, with corners.
It's, like, a round edge collar, so it's, like, a Peter Pan eight with corners. It's like a round edge collar.
So it's like a Peter Pan collar. Yeah, this is where to a dojo.
It's the Queen's gift shop. Like, I don't know where you get this, but like your majesty dot com slash kids.
Which, by the way, I just want to say the Buckingham Palace Royal gift shop online store is unbelievable. That's not where I got those outfits.
But like, oh oh my God, the best of the best. They have like cookies, chocolates, tea wears, like every, if you want to get like a nice gift for someone in special in your life who like this sounds up their alley, that's where you got to go.
Do they have things under a hundred dollars, Jackie? Yes. Yes, they do.
You could get like biscuits. Okay.
I'm asking because Josh, every year these Jews do a secret Santa and we can't share who we got, but the secret Santa is under a hundred. Names were drawn last night.
Everyone's talking about it without sharing who they have. And I don't know if you heard Josh, but last year, I really, I really fumbled the ball.
I got Margo. Have you told this story? I don't know if I've told this story.
Have I told you this story, Josh? No, tell me. It's really shameful.
I don't know if it'll translate. I'll do my best.
I thought I was being creative, okay? I thought a cameo would be a really creative Secret Santa gift. We'd all sit around.
We'd all watch it together. And unfortunately, I mixed up the sisters.
And who likes what? Reality star. Oh, no.
So I got Frank from the Real Housewives of New Jersey to leave Margot a cameo, like mentioning to her, like, hey, I'm single. If you want to if you want to party like.
Margot has no idea who Frank Catania is. She's never heard that name.
He could come up to her in the street and punch her in the face and she wouldn't ever know. Like, she doesn't watch Real Housewives of anything.
And he's not even a housewife. He's like someone's ex-husband.
It was the craziest thing. And the worst part, the worst part is I didn't even adhere to the rules.
I overpaid for Frank Catania. He was $1.99.
Oh, my God. And he's only getting $1.50 of that.
No good. And you spent the rest of the trip, like, buying her gifts in town, way over the price point to, like, make up for it.
But nobody remembers what you bought after the fact we only remember Frank Catania. No, I literally spent $1,000 on that trip buying her ski goggles and sweaters.
And like, I felt fucking terrible. That said, I did just get her on Amazon Live for our fake secret Santa.
And I got her literally the nicest gifts. I got her a pink helmet.
I got her matching pink goggles for skiing. And I got her a life-size dog bed where her and Magnolia can lay together.
Because they can't do it on her bed. No, life-size dog bed.
Pretty good, right? Pretty good. Does that come with an inhaler? Sleeping in the dog bed? That's nuts.
That's nuts. Nuts.
The rule for this year is no cameos, which I think is a good rule for like a gift exchange like that. I agree.
Josh, do you guys do Secret Santa? We do, but I'm more, you know, cameo is my line in the sand. Like if you see me on cameo, I relapsed.
Like I need drug money. And I've done plenty of sellout shit.
You know, I'll go hock a new vaccine for Pfizer tomorrow. I don't give a shit.
But Cameo's my line in the sand. That's where you draw the line.
But it's interesting, right? Because like how quickly, who else was on there? Like was Gypsy Rose quick? I know Matt Gaetz, the day he got kicked out of Congress was on Cameo. Oh, George Santos was big on Cameo.
Santos too. Ben,, are you still on cameo? You are you still on cameo? No, I am no longer on cameo since I heard that it is degrading.
So, no, I'm off cameo. No, I did cameo for a while, too.
But no, it's just I don't want to spend my time anymore. I'm off cameo.
That said, I could go back on cameo and do George Soros cameos for George. You could do the ones he doesn't get to.
George Santos. Santos.
Santos, sorry. The ones that are expiring, Ben will do at a discount.
Freudian slip. We all know where Ben's mind is.
That's funny. Yeah, man.
The cameo of it all, like can it was fascinating right because like i actually think that if you take time and do like a two three minute cameo and you really talk to the person like i think that's great i remember when caitlin jenner first went on and hers were upwards of like a thousand to two thousand dollars and was like, let me see what you're getting for all this money.

And it was just basically Caitlin going like, happy birthday, Annie. See you later.
Like, you know, like what? Worth it. I was like, can I get a little something else, Caitlin? That is so funny.
I actually stopped doing cameos when it like just takes a lot of your like battery, your mental like social battery. but more so because I received a few cameos

and the way I felt watching a cameo for me, like is so painful that I just never want to make anyone feel that way. I hate watching, do never get me a cameo, please.
From even my favorite person on don't, I don't know why I cannot watch it.

It's funny that you bring that up. You kind of feel like a big loser watching it, right? Big loser.
Oh my God. Someone got me one from like Damon John.
He was like talking about my precess and how he's like so proud of me. Seriously.
Unwatchable. Yeah.
You feel like a big loser. You're like, I can't just like meet this person in real life.
So somebody needs to give them a script to make me feel like I know them. You see them reading from the teleprompter on their phone.
Hello, Jackie. Jackie.
Oshree. Oshree.
However, Cameo has given us some of the most iconic moments. Like, I'm sure you guys remember.
Who's that guy? I'm not going to remember his name, but he did a video wishing someone a happy Hanukkah. Oh, Smokey Robinson.
Yes. Wishing someone a happy Hanukkah.
And he said, happy Chinooka. Yeah, that was good.
Happy Chinooka was good. That was good.
I remember that. That was good.
How many cameos do you think she would get if Taylor Swift went on Cameo and charged $100,000 per cameo?

A million cameos.

Think about how much people paid for her tickets.

Like, these Swifties got money to burn.

$100,000 per.

Especially those, like, Dubai Swifties,

which there are a ton of them.

Like, she would be raking it in in the UAE at $100,000 a cameo.

I think she would actually get $1,000. Not bad.
Not. No.
Something to consider, Ms. Swift.
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See Mint Mobile for details. Speaking of ladies performing at arenas, Jackie, the Hard Rock Seminole, Josh, 7,000 seats, swirlies and toasters going wild.
I just wanted to know, Jackie, like, what's that like? Like talk to I don't know if you talk about it on the toast at all. We don't really talk about like what it is.
Like what does it feel like? Well, it's so much what we say in this show, which is true. Like it's so much fun.
Like it's it's we love podcasting to then like do it in front of people as opposed to just like in a room in my house. It's like so rewarding.
And you really feel the magnitude of of the job. But it's just so crazy for me because it's like, I literally feel like I'm a rock star.
And it's like then I just like go back home and, you know, in changing diapers and taking out the trash and making bread. And it's like I really feel like I get this like taste of I feel it's like two different people, you know?

Yeah, it's very Hannah Montana.

I wonder if that's what- It's two such extremes.

Like that just like my life is like very quiet

and like normal.

And then like I'm singing on stage

in front of thousands of people with my horrible voice.

And it's so crazy to me that I get to do that.

It really is crazy, but it's amazing.

And the show is amazing.

And I would tell people to buy tickets,

but it's not gonna happen for quite some time.

See you some time. So if you missed it, you missed it.
These jiznos are a moment in time. Whenever we announce one, like a run, because you never know, it might be the last or at least the last for a year.
Yeah, but yeah, it was amazing. Josh, you got to come to the next one.
I can't wait. I would I would love to know, Jackie, what did it feel like? Because you're in it and you are a part of it.
When was there like a tipping point, a moment where the podcast went from big to massive that you could really feel? No. And I also think that like because it's not been like that, that's a big reason for our success where it's not like overnight it ever just blew up like every single day for the last seven years it's like one step forward there's not been a giant leap like we'll have some episodes that perform a little better than others but from our highest listen to episode to our lowest there's really like not that huge of a difference it's been brick by brick, which of course is frustrating.
You see people like, it feels frustrating because you see people have like overnight success, like viral moments, like podcast number one on the charts, boom, boom, boom. But that's really hard to sustain, but people are able to, and that's just a testament to like how they are right for the job.
But a lot of people aren't able to sustain that. So because there's never been like one moment that we feel like we're always trying to chase and like replicate, it has made for a much more like solid foundation.
So like, you know, a little more boring sounding. I love it.
No, I think it's so impressive. And I feel like I have some questions on behalf of the toasters.
But so, but you everyone you know has their own everyone has their personal lives so I want to be respectful so you can say no comment what was it first of all what is it like knowing that your your beautiful sister is now pregnant with her but shared it is so so exciting I'm so excited for Claudia and Ben and like to see her as a mom. She's the most amazing aunt.
She's literally just like the funniest, most loving, most warm person. And she's like destined for this and she's going to be so amazing.
And I look forward to like seeing how she does it and like learning from her too, you know? So sweet. If only she could hear, she'll listen.
Maybe we should clip this and send it to her. She would have loved that.
But I'm excited to see how she does things. I love learning from other moms and hearing people's philosophies on parenthood.
And I feel like she's going to have so many funny, strong opinions, but just great practices. And I learn from her every day.
That's actually something I didn't even realize. And I'm very excited to see see how she does things and maybe take some inspo from her.
Ben, was Jackie the first call? One of the first calls? Yeah. Jackie was the first call and her reaction, like for those that haven't seen it, he got to go to Jackie's Patreon to find it.
But it was an amazing reaction. Everybody, what I love, like we really took our time time with this, right? Like, we've been together for 12 years, married for seven years, did it on our terms.
There was no pressure from family. And because of that, everybody was so shocked.
Like, when we told Jackie, she was shocked. When my parents found out, they were shocked because it wasn't like, it just wasn't expected necessarily.
And I'm very thankful that nobody really put pressure on us because it allowed us to do it at like when it was right for us. But yeah, it was amazing.
Jackie's reaction was unbelievable. I'm just I'm so happy for Turdy and Ben and for our whole family.
It's just going to be so amazing for the whole family. And Claude really is like the most hands on aunt.
It's true.. Like, and she loves, like, I know, you know how much she loves your kids, Jackie, but like, I don't

even think you do. Like we're literally on the plane yesterday and she's showing me videos of

Harry. Like as if they're her children.
Like it really is. And videos that I've seen, like,

like Kojur's You're Beautiful, like nonstop. Kojur's You're Beautiful.
Of course, she's

showing the video where Harry calls her beautiful. Like, now that I'm thinking about it, like it's

Thank you. you're beautiful, like nonstop.
You're beautiful. Of course, she's showing the video where Harry calls her beautiful.
Like, yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, like it's a little self involved, but no. And I also feel like so often like aunts and uncles have so much energy for their nieces and nephews because it's like a finite amount of time, you know, and it's easy to be like so much fun for one hour.
But one, Claudia is with me so long and like she's always keeps up that energy. And I know that's exactly how she's going to be as a mom.
So like to see someone like do that, I really like, I can't wait and I can't wait to benefit because she's just like, she's always singing and dancing and like having fun and like making fun, like enriching opportunities for my kids. And now she's gonna be doing that all the time.
And I'm excited to like, just, you know, tag along. and how long do you think until ben and claudia moved to florida which this is the most asked question and i really don't think they are moving to florida like they have and also what's so funny is like this thing like i could see a picture of a house that's like oh my god that forms that's where i need to live and like claudia could see the same house and like does nothing for her and then like she's looking at a picture of like a condo or something.
And she's like, this is the dream. I'm like, that's so funny that that's your dream.
Cause like that does nothing for me. So like, we really are so different in terms of like living environment, like ideal living environments.
And they have said they don't want to move here. And I know that they mean it.
And I also know that that's like, what's right for them. So they are probably not moving here.
But I do look forward to seeing like what you guys do, where you guys do it, even if it's still in the city. Like, that's awesome.
And I'm excited to like see how you do it. Yeah.
And like we spend a lot of time in Florida and we will always spend a lot of time in Florida. And but it's a totally it's a new life with kids, right? Like, yeah your requirements your needs will adjust and maybe it won't lead you towards suburbia but it makes it it makes it easier in the interim or in especially in that period of time when you have young kids yeah maybe they do wind up in the burbs but i don't think it's gonna be florida i i mean like 99 don't like serious almost 100 sure they're not moving to florida even if they move right ben agreed north carolina virginia i would love by the way i was recently in south carolina we should all move to south carolina this is like such like a fun cute town we put down like plant our flag we'll bring in all the jews yes and then nobody will want to be there anymore.
I'm excited to see where you end up. I'm down.
I'm down for whatever. I'm down to move.
I like change. So yeah, you guys, let's see what happens.
I think that for us, it's like, besides you, like family is here and like, we're, we're going to need, like, we're going to need my parents to help. And and like they've been so helpful with i know dogs are totally different but like they would take theo for two weeks like yeah like and just like i'm looking forward to their help with god willing newborn so um yeah that's a factor too that's a factor too baruch hashem factor, too.
Baruch Hashem, God willing. Boo, boo, boo.
I love it. I love how the Jews have superstition like down pat.
It just must be because we're fearful. We're always looking over our shoulder, whether it's real people or spirits.
I think we're just realists. I think we just know like things, things, not everything in life is roses.
And so we do our best to navigate.

And maybe we take it to an extreme, but like the other side takes it to an extreme too,

in terms of like their,

like the craziness that they do in not being superstitious.

Totally.

Just like being all roses,

which is also me in like my daily life though.

I'm like an all roses guy.

So it's funny that like, yeah, I don't know.

We are superstitious.

It's in our DNA.

We are spooky.

You want to talk about spooky?

This episode is out on Thursday, but Friday is Friday the 13th. So actually Friday the 13th is not spooky for me because fun fact it's Colgate day.
I went to Colgate university and 13 is like a big number in the school's lore. Like 13 men discovered it with like 13 pennies and 13 prayers.
And everything about Colgate is the number 13. And Friday the 13th are Colgate days.
Like the address of the school is like 13 Oak Drive. Like every it's very Taylor Swift coded.
The color is actually of the school is maroon. She should have went there.
So Friday the 13th is actually very exciting in my community. Josh, I don't know if you know, but Jackie is like an alumni celebrity.
Like she, they love her. I went to a small school too.
And the yeshiva people could give two shits that I went there. Nobody's calling me.
Are there any big celebrities that came out of yeshiva? Like some Chabad Rebbe who's spreading the word? For sure. Probably.
And me and a Chabad Rebbe and a ton of dentists. A ton.
The yeshiva. And a ton of lawyers.
The yeshiva university is like, and Lin-Manuel Miranda grew up near us. Like he wasn't even an alumni.
Yeah, no. And they also like really screw you.
Like, I don't know if I've ever spoken about this, but they split the campus into boys and girls. They put the girls on 34th and Park, Josh.
They put the boys on 185th and Amsterdam. You talk about getting robbed.
Rob blind. So good.
So yeah, Jackie's a local celeb at Colgate, which I had the pleasure of visiting once. That was a fun weekend.
It was. It's a fun time.
Good times were had. They were.
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Should we get into some stories? I would love to. Yes, Jackie, weird news.
That's what we do. Weird news.
Love weird news. Well, this is a strong one to start with.
A majority of women do fake orgasms, but their reasons for doing so vary.

Study reveals.

Fake it till you make it does not apply here. A new study revealed why women are more likely than men to fake orgasms, as well as why they won't keep it up forever.
Researchers analyzed data submitted by 11,000 respondents from six European countries. and the findings showed that around 13% of men fake them

while 28% of women are currently faking them, and up to 51% have had to in the past. And let's see, why are they pretending? What's going on? Yeah, what are their reasons that are so varied? Well, everyone's got their reasons.
We found that being a woman, woman having more lifetime or having more lifetime sexual partners and having children was associated with higher odds of faking orgasms they also discovered that a person's relationship status and whether or not this is naughty whether or not i know it's the new york post fault whether or not a toy will also played a role in the canoodling was yeah anyway let's move on did you repeat the first half of that sentence with having children i didn't compute that i think it was just like it basically said that if you have children depending on your relationship status, being a woman or having children so I guess that applies to either or was like more you were more inclined to fake it you had a higher odd of faking it at times I guess because you're just exhausted want to be over but it's really interesting I mean it I will say as a man I have faked it once and it needed to happen. I was just going to say, I don't understand how, I guess, unless you're like trapped, I've never heard of a guy ever faking it.
Like that's like such like a crazy. It's more logistically difficult.
It's more logistically difficult for sure. Yeah, for sure.
But I just ran to the bathroom after I was like, oh, goodness.

I don't want to get a UTI. No.

That's funny. Olivia, any thoughts?

You don't have to have an opinion on this, Olivia, by the way.

The thing that I got from that article was it sounded like

if you've had more sex

than the likelihood

of faking it is higher

just based on probability.

Well, that's your odds.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That makes sense.

That's what I gathered from that.

That's all I'll say.

Well, like,

and that's like,

thank you, Captain Obvious,

New York Post,

for your genius study.

Exactly.

And that's that on that.

All right.

Good story, Josh.

I'm sorry. obvious New York posts for your genius study.
And that's that on that.

All right.

Good story, Josh.

Do we have another story, perhaps?

Okay.

You asked.

Desperate sheriff's deputy takes to porn for cash, but resigns when her raunchy double life is exposed.

A Colorado sheriff's deputy resigned this week after officials learned she'd appeared in pornographic videos. A second career she took out of desperation over mounting bills.
Shannon, a 21-year veteran of the sheriff's office, said she turned to adult cinema because her finances had soured and she couldn't keep up. I was desperate, drowning.
I found a legal, lucrative means for providing that support for my family that I needed at that time to save my home and to feed my family. But the sheriff's office began an internal investigation with the agency learned and they said that she was not allowed to work there anymore.
Thoughts? Well, we should be paying our sheriffs more. Mm-hmm.
But there are other things that you can do for money. Yes, I agree with you.
That said, this seems to be a very lucrative industry. I read, or I think I read an article.
I saw Stephen A. Smith talking about how OnlyFans, like the top OnlyFans creators are making more money than all of the top NBA contracts, like more than LeBron, more than like OnlyFans is a more lucrative industry than the NBA with people making upwards of a hundred million dollars a year in some cases.
So like the thing is, I think she's just got to pick. It is a little bit odd to me that she wants to be or not wants to be.
I understand she did it for her family. Needs to be a porn star, but still wants to be a sheriff.
Like, just if you're going to do porn, be a porn star. That's cool.
No shade. You can also be a sheriff.
Not everyone is a starter on the Lakers of OnlyFans. You know what I'm saying? Some people are playing on the D-League, my boy.
Some people are just making getting by doing what they love and how did one of her employees like that's a better question they won't say i checked nobody's talking it doesn't even make any sense the real question like did she like walk in with like her sheriff's uniform and sheriff's hat and like. No, she had a

fan. She had a fan and someone

like found her because they were

I guess they but they were

also pulled over by her like

speeding. Like how'd they put two and two together?

I think someone in the office.

Well, then, by the way,

that person also better be

fired. The person who's watching

sheriff porn exposing

sheriff. Oh, what you're kink

shaming. No, no.

Thank you. That person also better be fired.
The person who's watching sheriff porn, exposing sheriff porn. You're kink shaming.
No, no, I need to. You're on notice, Ben.
No, they need to be fired too. They have to.
How dare you? I don't even think you can legally. She wasn't doing sheriff porn, was she? No.
It wasn't sheriff themed. She wasn't using her like.
She wasn't like, put your hands behind your back damn i i i absolutely think that it is inappropriate to report porn that you saw to your employer you should mind your own business maybe josh you misunderstood what i was saying but like i'm certainly not kink shaming i'm shaming reporting it to hr do whatever you want in the privacy of your own home why are you ratting out this woman that that you're watching on the internet? Yeah, don't be a snitch. Yeah, like you're also exposing yourself.
Yeah. Don't be a snitch.
Like that's strange. Don't be a snitch.
Yeah, no, of course you can watch whatever you want. Okay.
Hypothetical, hypothetical, hypothetical. Someone you love, let's just say someone you love is like, they're either going to go to a second rung state school and major in communications or they're going to do feet vids on OnlyFans.

Nothing crazy.

Just their feet.

Maybe they're pushing their feet into a sheet cake.

Maybe they're crossing their toes in funny ways.

Maybe they're gnarled toes.

I don't know. Maybe they're putting on stockings.

But they're going to make mid- figures starting guaranteed. How do we feel? I feel like it's just not a sustainable career.
So I would like, you know, push them to have a plan for when that is over. You know, it's like if you want to sell feet pics to do it, but you need also like, you know, skills know skills for the future also the benefit of a feet pic or a foot pic is that nobody knows it to you you could easily do both that's the job you can do both the sheriff should be selling her feet pics and still being a sheriff because you can be both yeah feet pics is really low stakes i actually like have a hard time believing that it's actually that lucrative.
Me too, because...

Yeah.

Not for me.

Kink shaming!

Listen, I just think

everyone should wear steel-toed

boots.

I just think everyone...

No, you hate feet, which, by the way,

respect. I respect it.

I respect it. Should we get into

a speak pipe or into a Thank you. I just think everyone.
No, you hate feet, which by the way, respect. I respect it.

Well, should we get into a speak pipe or into a good high? How good is that Olivia and Jackie? I really like that. I really like that.
Jackie, maybe you can help us with this. Jackie's a true word.
Jackie's a true wordsmith. So we have a segment called speak pipe, right? Where it's version of Deer Toasters.
People call in, leave us like a question

or a story that we should comment on.

But Speak Pipe is literally the name of the program

that Marshall gave us.

And we just called it that.

And we think that in the next year,

we're looking for a rebrand on it.

Josh came up with Good High, which I think is goodbye.

What does that mean, Good High? It's like a good high, like good guys, but high. Good high.
H-I, not H-I-G-H. So what do you think, Jackie? Do you have a good name for what we should be calling SpeakPipes going forward? SpeakPipe, that's really funny.
But I agree, like needs rebranding. You can think about it and come back to us.
I will, I will. This is like my favorite kind of project.
Yeah, no, you're great at this. So, but we didn't give you time.
So for now, go out Good High. And if I give you a new name, if you guys take like whatever new name, just on the next episode when you say it, just be like, and Jackie, you know, did her job.
And Jackie came up with it. For this episode and this episode only, we will be calling it Good High.
That's fun. Guys, comment below.
Give us five stars and tell us how much we love Good High. Okay.
Yeah. Or also, yeah, or comment below a better title suggestion.
Because also people usually have like the best suggestions. True.
True. Or a suggestion to replace the name.
Crowdsource. Speakpipe.
Crowdsourcing. Love it.
Even though we- Community inclusion. Forever we asked our fandom to come up with their names

and these names, Ashunda.

Ashunda, Jackie.

And now you're the morons.

That's Ben.

That was his marketing genius.

And that's why.

And that's why.

Because they're morons.

As are we.

As are we.

But yes.

All right.

So good high.

SpeakPipe. Okay.
this one's from ali hi josh and ben my name is ali from florida and i have an interesting one for you guys i wonder if there's something wrong with all of us that we keep listening to you guys absolutely roast everyone that calls in and we still come back for more like you guys roast every caller about how we leave voicemails and we can't get enough is there something wrong with all of us is this like a woman used to the patriarchy situation can we get olivia to weigh in i don't know are we nuts are you guys nuts jackie olivia thoughts i think we're all nuts but i actually think it's not even like it's like you like being berated i think people like like getting diagnoses and like being told what's wrong with them because it like gives them an excuse for like continuing on with that behavior they're like oh i you know I'm not annoying. I just have ticket to demand neosis.

Like, so I think that they like like,

oh, the good guy said I'm this.

So they can just kind of carry on with that behavior.

Yes, Olivia.

I'm always worrying about what's wrong with me personally. So to have someone else verbalize it for a change

is pretty nice.

So perhaps that's part of the draw.

And also it's like we're being seen.

You know, you're talking about me.

How exciting.

They also call in with a bunch of crap.

Like, I'm sorry.

Like, they always call in with a bunch of crap.

Like, if you don't want to be berated or roasted, then call in with something less crappy.

Like, even that one was crap.

Moron.

Thank you, Allie. Keep coming back.
This next one's from Michelle. Hey, Josh and Ben, big moron and huge toaster here.
I think I have a what are you nuts, but I want to get your opinion on it first. Last year was the first year that I spent with my husband's family for Christmas.
When I opened my stocking, I was happily surprised when I found a lot of my most used brands of toiletries, like the exact type of body wash, lotion, face cream. I asked my husband if he told his mom about the things I use, thinking it was sweet.
And she responded excitedly by saying, oh no, he didn't have to. Last time I was at your house, I snooped in your bathroom and shower and made a list of all the products you use so I'd have them this year for your stocking.
Now, I understand she had good intentions and wanted to get me things I need, but secretly going into your married son's bedroom and bathroom? Is it weird that I feel violated? I'm definitely locking our door next time she comes over. Anyway, let me know your thoughts.
Love you both. No, it's not weird that you feel violated.
You were violated. That's insanity.
Can you imagine her in the bathroom like, Ma, are you okay in there? Yes, Michelle, I'm shitting! Just taking inventory. I have the runs, Michelle! That is so funny.
No, she's been violated, but now, like as I get older, like I come at I come at some of these deer toasters or speak pipes from the mother in law's perspective. Now that like I have a son, I worry one day about who he will bring home.
And I just want to say, like, from the mother in law, like this is a fire way to like get to know what your daughter in law is up to say, oh, it's for your little gifts. I wanted to have your brands.
Meanwhile, I could see your medication, see what she's doing, see what she's about, take inventory. Like, honestly, queenie behavior on the mother-in-law, but violating her daughter's privacy for sure.
But she didn't need to then go and expose herself like that. She could have just taken inventory, Jackie, mentally understood it and never stocked her stuffing.
Stocked her stuffing. Well, you know what? At least like, okay, she violated her privacy regardless.
At least she's going to make it worth something by giving her all of the things that she would want to have at their house. Like she's incredibly magnanimous.
It's actually, yeah. She could have gotten away with it and she didn't.
And instead she gave back. And I guess it's kind of nice.
I now find myself siding with toxic mother-in-laws because I hope to be one one day. No, you've convinced me, Jackie.
In my stocking, that would mean my stocking would have like baby wipes and antidepressants. And that's not fun.
That's not a good Christmas gift. I don't know.
Antidepressants,ants like you're saving you don't have to get them again who are you telling I'm on a 90 day supply they come in the mail imagine showing up to somebody else's house and them having your antidepressants that's serious that's, Butrin anyone? He's like walking the door and they have an Ozympic needle with your whole cocktail. Stag right in the neck.
No, blowgun. Dream.
Dream. Dream.
I show up to Jackie's house and before I can even walk in the door, she jabs me with Ozympic. We should do ever we should do that for a TikTok once Ben I'll inject you with Ozempic and you just go we should we should do an Ozempic stabbing for TikTok I love it I love it you can even put it between my toes this episode is brought to you by Roe.co if you want to get your semaglutide brought to you in the mail.
No, I'm kidding. Oh, I was like, great.
Get your bag, GGs. No, no, no.
We do that too, but, and yeah, Roe.co is great, but. Well, Michelle happened to send us two speak pipes, and they were all well put together, so let's hear again once more from Michelle.
Hey, Josh and Ben, big moron and huge toaster here. With the holidays coming up, I wanted to get your opinion on something.
Growing up, the kids in my family always made a Hanukkah wishlist that we would give to our parents and they would share it with aunts, uncles and grandparents. This was back in a day when the Toys R Us toy catalog was the best part of the holiday season.
Of course, the list was just a guide and we'd be really happy with any presents that we got. As far as I know, the adults did not have a list like that for each other.
Fast forward to now and we are spending Christmas with my husband's family. I got an email yesterday from his mom and sister with links to specific items that they want for their Christmas gifts.
I understand it's nice to get things that you want and need, but is this normal? I kind of feel like the magic of the holidays is kind of lost when you give someone a list of items and you know exactly what you'll be opening. I know Ben talks about how much he loves giving gifts and I'm the same way.
Isn't part of the fun thinking of things that the other person would really love and appreciate? Anyway, I'm not sure if this is a what are you nuts or I'm just being critical. Thanks for your insight.
Love you both. I love she's Siri, right?

She's using an odd voice thing.

That's going to ask you.

All these women have just like perfect voices.

I think it must be.

That must be AI.

It has to be.

Or you like put you type in and then they speak it.

I think so.

That sounds too perfect to me.

But look, I think that it's a little strange.

But like whenever I want to get the perfect gift for Claudia, I will be asking Jackie. And that's kind of the same thing because Claudia has told Jackie something that she wants.
And you're just circumventing that. That said, I do think that that's still like a little bit more special.
Like if you're requesting something, then the surprise of it is totally gone. Like, yeah, even with our secret Santa, just like bring it back to our secret Santa that everyone's talking about.
You can like we use Elfster and like you can do a wish list and then someone would put their three things and the person who has them would buy that for them. Like, that's not exciting.
That's not fun. Yeah.
Maybe they're going to get something that they don't want as badly or that they don't need, but like, it's just, it's all so about the thought. And when you do a wishlist like that, there's no thought.
And it's just like, seriously, like, why don't we just get each other gift cards then? That's right. Agreed.
Agreed. And can we normalize gift cards? Because you get me an Amazon gift card.
You're my best friend. Yes.
And Amazon gift card is very good because like, I'm going to use every last cent because it's going towards my Amazon balance. But like I don't want like a Visa gift card because when there's like four dollars left, like I'm not going to be there's always going to be money left on the card.
And that's literally flushing money down the toilet. So either give me like cash, Venmo me or like an Amazon gift card is perfect.
Oh, it's the best. Amazon's a lovely.
Amazon gift card is a lovely gift. Yeah, but not, but like we shouldn't really be doing those like Visa gift cards anymore because you're always leaving money on the table.
You can't just use, like have them swipe it for the rest of it. Like you can, but like, I just feel like getting it right.
There's a lot of like cents left on the table. I understand.
You need to call before and understand it It's a job. It's a job for the person owning the car.
Okay, someone gave me $75. So I'm going to go to the toy store.
I'll get a present that's like, you know, $72.99. And like, there's just always a little bit of money.
And then you lose it. I wonder how much money Visa and Amex make every year from gift card dollars that don't get spent.
An incredible amount. You're speaking truth to power.
Word up, girlfriend. You're right.
It's a scam. What about this? What's the worst part of getting a new credit card? Josh, I forgot about the time.
What about your three-year-old gift card? Gift card, Granny. We're still in a war.
I haven't used it.

I have $300 sitting in purgatory.

It's at fucking limbo.

I have $300 that I cannot spend because gift card, Granny, is holding me hostage.

For three years, Jackie.

Where's the gift card?

It's in my possession.

I keep trying to activate it. They say it allow it.
They say it's activated. Activate.
Never works. Who wants it? And I think it's a bigger, maybe they're making it impossible to activate so you don't spend the money and they're literally just hashing checks over there.
It's also stupid because they charge a fee to the buyer as well. Like, I don't know if you've noticed to buy an Amex gift card costs $4.95.
It's not $100. Of course.
No, exactly. Versus Amazon, you're loading it up with 100.
It's just the 100 flat. I love it.
100%. I love it.
Down with gift cards. No, but also, Amazon is perfect.
Because even if you got me like a digital gift card anywhere, I either am going to underspend by a few dollars and cents, or I'm going to overspend and now I'm spending money. There's no way to get it 100% right.
But with Amazon, it just rolls over until on your next purchase until it's done. Like it's beautiful.
I love it. I love it.
One more speak pipe. And then what are you nuts? Perfect.
Okay. One more from anonymous.
Hey, Josh and Ben, love your podcast. Quick question.
I have a friend whose spouse never is home, never home. He works a corporate job, makes excellent money, excellent money, but then recently just picked up a second job.
She has his location, he's there, he's working, but I'm noticing a pattern with him. Like when things things are getting rough he just goes and picks up a second job and doesn't want to be home like with his family is this something that guys do just exit the situation and go find like more work to do any info would be good thanks I just want to say you guys can speak if this is what guys do.
One, like, mind your business. And two, if that's how he deals with conflict at home is I'm going to go get another job.
I'm going to work harder and I'm going to make more money. I wouldn't get in his way.
I completely agree. This is not necessarily what guys do.
I think that guys are far worse than this. Like, oh, you're having a fight at home.
I'm going to make more money. I'm going to, no.
Most people are like, I'm going to the bar. I'm staying now.
I'm seeing friends. I'm watching the game.
Like, no, I'm going to work hard. I'm going to channel all this.
Is this what these toxic males do? They work harder. Great.
Let's fight more. Like, no.
Like, if you're in a fight with your spouse, most they're joining a bowling league okay can we bring back bowling can we bring back bowling but they're joining a bowling league they're getting shit-faced at the bar they're doing degenerative things if i were this girl and that was my husband's toxic trait when things get hard hard at home, he works more. Things would always be hard.
They're doing things like degenerates do like bowling, like the throwing darts. He's been playing foosball.
I'm pretty sure he's cheating. Yeah, no, this lady needs to mind their own business.
She's nuts. Yeah.
i i guess it's just a question and jackie olivia please feel free to weigh in and tell me sometimes when i get in a fight with my wife my default will be to do the two things that i know are right no matter what which is take care of my kids and go make money right and i And I won't. And I'll just kind of shut down a little bit like and just say, like, I guess we'll figure this out when we do.
Like right now, we're just going to be ships passing in the night. Let me take care of these boys.
Let me go make money so everyone can survive like that. I know or start cleaning.
Yeah. Like it.
And so can that sometimes in avoidance of hashing it out become an issue? Maybe that's kind of what she's intimating with him always working. And I guess there's not an issue, though, like they're not fighting.
He's just always away working. Yeah, I think that that's like a pretty healthy, you know, coping mechanism as far as they go to like channel your energy into something productive until there's time to hash it out.
Like you're still going to have differences. And if you are, if it's, if the kids are around anyway, like you shouldn't be having that conversation right then and there.
So yeah, like focus on something productive and also sometimes like just distracting yourself, focusing on the good. Like then by the time you get around to having the conversation, like, Oh, what was it? Anyway, we had a nice day with the kids and whatever.
Let bygones be bygones. Totally.
Sometimes you got to let those bygones be bygones. My default is certainly not cleaning.
That's all. That would be a good one for you.
That's certainly not mine. No, no, no.
Ben's Ben's making tuna salad and shooting pool. I think him and Claudia are having issues.
So our final segment every week is our what are you nuts moment of the week. It's our gripes with people, places and things big or small, whatever's sticking in your craw.
Ben, you want to go first? Sure. I mentioned my terrible travel day on Friday.
My what are you nuts really should be United Airlines. It's also myself.
We spoke about it. We share the blame.
The true what are you nuts moment is I went, I had to buy two tickets that day. Okay.
The first ticket for the flight that I missed, and then they rebooked me on a flight 12 hours later. And then I had to pay $1,700 to be on an earlier flight.
My what are you nuts is that when I went to try to speak to anybody at the airport, I was met with, we do not process refunds at the airport. You must call.
I went to the United Lounge. I went to the gate.
They do not do anything in person, but board you onto the plane. Any complaint, anything, you must call United Customer Service and submit a formal complaint.
And all I have to say is, what are you nuts? Like traveling is hard enough. I'm out two grand.
I've wasted 12 hours. I at least need to have somebody that can hear me at a minimum.
And then after you've heard me, okay, maybe I have to call and file a complaint. But the way that I was met, I just, I'm sick of it I'm sick of it.
We're hoarded like cattle. Airline industry is making so much money.
We're suffering and something's got to change. I agree.
As someone who doesn't like to talk on the phone, that just doesn't work for me. No, it's not good.
My what are you nuts is actually Ben Soffer shockingly because Ben was staying with me this weekend. He actually like ruined something that's so dear to me.
I told the story at Gizno, but like more people need to know what happened here because Josh, I don't know if you know, but I like to bake bread at home. I now make sourdough.
I make a couple of times a week. I love it.
I'm always, you know, commenting on the appearance of my loaves. And I get very excited when I have a beautiful, gorgeous loaf, you know know, something gargi loaf, a pargi loaf.
So I was, I cooked a loaf of bread while Ben was at my house and it came out amazing. And I walked into Ben and Claudia's room to tell them, I was like, oh my God, you guys, I just made a pargi loaf.
He's like looking at me quizzically. I was like, the buoyancy is just like on like any other.
And he literally thought I was talking about making a number two, a pargy loaf. And now that phrase is so ruined for me.
What are you nuts that you think I would come into your room and say I just made a pargy loaf? You think I'm disgusting? It's so dumb. It's so good.
He's so dumb, Jackie. He's so good.
I'm so sorry he's your brother-in-law. Isn't that crazy? I know.
He knows me this long. Ten years, I think.
More than that, we know each other. No, twelve.
Walk into a room and comment on something like, what are you nuts? Ben, I just made dump you should see this boo boo the spring on it unlike any other the buoyancy on this i'm ill i'm physically ill that's so funny oh josh what's yours? Oh, man. Okay, my what are you nuts is, oh, the other day there was someone at a concert and they're holding a sign and someone directly behind them whose view is completely obscured by this stupid sign grabs the sign, pulls it away, and everyone starts clapping in the section.
Bringing signs to a concert is what are you nuts? There's nothing to say to the performer, and you're literally holding a blockade in front of everyone behind you trying to watch the concert. What are you nuts? It is so selfish.
That's really fair. What concert did you go to? I saw it.
was on a tiktok i don't go to concerts oh i was like what was it blippy live the dream i might go to kids bop next week hey okay kids bop looks lit i just want to say kids bop looks lit dude kids bop i'm trying have you been any other good kids concerts jackie disney on ice fabulous crushed slayed the house down boots but actually the grinch is coming to town this month and i think we're gonna see that as ben said we did see the nutcracker ballet which was really good we saw a poster blippy is coming to to the theater i'm gonna miss that excavator miss. But no, but I look forward to seeing more every time I go.

Like, it's so great.

It's such a fun activity.

I have taken my I took my son to Dude Perfect Live, the trick shot guys from YouTube.

That's funny.

That was fun.

They're amazing.

And then Mario, the maker magician is kind of a fun, bes bespoke magician but he travels all over the country and the world an incredible magic show for kids educational funny the kids were going gaga bananas so fun also i'll keep a google alert in my area mario the maker get on the mailing list Jackie, this has been an unbelievable episode. You're an unbelievable guest.
Thank you, Jackie.

Thank you so much. Thank you for all of the the redos, the tries.
We did it. It was fantastic.
I'd be remiss not to mention that today, SpritzSociety.com, we dropped our Bloody Mary Spritz with V8, came out today. It's an amazing flavor that Josh won't be trying, but 20 years ago, he would have loved it.
He would have loved it. And we'll be sipping it.
And it's amazing. So you can shop it today.
And Jackie, is there anything? We'll see him sipping spritzes on Cameo. You will.
You'll see me sipping them soon. And Jackie, is there anything else that you want to plug? Perhaps Redhead's Book Club? Oh, I love the Redhead's Book Club.
We are a podcast book club, one book a month. We have so much fun.
We read so many great books. So if you want to read more or you read a lot and you want to do it with friends, head over to Redhead's Book Club.
Check out my children's book, The Camper and the Counselor, available on Amazon. Great gift for the holidays.
Great gift for the toaster in your life, the moron, the mother, whatever it is. Happy holidays.
Happy holidays.

And folks, this episode is five stars.

If not, what are you nuts?

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We will see you next time.

Love ya.

Bye. Folks, we will see you next time.
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