GOURD GUYS: Big Moo Shu’s Going Meshuga

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Speaker 1 The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck, and I'm Ben Soffer.
And we're the good guys.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of guys out there, and we're the good ones.

Speaker 1 Mazzlemorons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with Dr.
Phil's barber. It's Ben Soffer.
It's been a while since I've had to do anything, I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 1 I'm starting to twiddle my thumbs. I'm a little, a little,

Speaker 1 a little off the top.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Joshi.
Oh,

Speaker 1 fuck. I forgot to ask.
When does this come out? Whenever you want it to come out, hon. I just want to know if we should be talking about Thanksgiving.
We should. Yes.
Great. Okay.

Speaker 1 And I'm not cutting that out. We're not cutting out a single thing for this.
Maybe you should. Maybe just that little part.
We're fine. I'm

Speaker 1 so excited for Thanksgiving. Yes.

Speaker 1 Same here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about Thanksgiving. Okay.
Where are you for Thanksgiving? I'm at my wonderful mother-in-law's house. It's going to be fan-flipping-tastic.
There's potentially going to be a new peck.

Speaker 1 And by that, I mean a new, my wife, my sister-in-law is pregnant. I'm just saying it's going to be a new peck, but she's supposed to give birth in the next two weeks.

Speaker 1 We might have a new guest at Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 Well, congrats to them. God willing.
Everything is nice and easy. Happy, healthy.
That is

Speaker 1 rotten. Poo, poo, poo, poo.

Speaker 1 Poo.

Speaker 1 And what are we eating, Josh? What are we eating? That's all anybody cares about. What is turkey?

Speaker 1 A fucking sp I don't know, stuffing? Let's go nuts.

Speaker 1 What are you eating, more importantly? Honestly, Josh, this is going to be like the

Speaker 1 worst thing for some people that I've ever said. I think the Thanksgiving meal is just drech.

Speaker 1 I think it is just crap. Because the truth is, when you're, when what you're waiting for is worse than everything that comes before it, you have a fundamental problem with the meal.

Speaker 1 You have a fundamental problem. I'm in on your mac and cheese.
I'm in on your green bean casserole. I'm in on your stuffing.
I'm in on your mashed potatoes.

Speaker 1 I'm in on your any way that you can make a potato in a grat and anything like that. I'm so in.

Speaker 1 I hate regular roast turkey. I think it's dry.
I think it's no good. One in 10 is juicy.
But even if it's juicy, I wish I was having chicken. I wish I was having duck.
I think roast turkey is awful.

Speaker 1 So what did we do? We made a reservation at Polo Bar. And we're going to be going out and having a lovely meal.

Speaker 1 And then I'll probably have like a dinner, like maybe like a Friday night dinner or something. Not Thanksgiving themed, though.
Not because to me,

Speaker 1 the meal itself is not good.

Speaker 1 it's not good so you're going to thanksgiving at ralph lawrence polo bar in the city an impossible res if you know you know and you're forgoing the thanksgiving meal who will be attending said polo lounge wonderful fest it'll just be me and claudia we're just doing the two of us that's it that's it keeping it small quaint probably see our family other like other time during that end of the weekend but that night just us you know who else i imagine is having a thanksgiving like that who elon Musk.

Speaker 1 All right. I went to around.

Speaker 1 I went to the house.

Speaker 1 Well, now that I say it, it sounds sad.

Speaker 1 I ate for one. Sorry.

Speaker 1 Now that I say it, it sounds sad, but I was very excited. This was a choice.

Speaker 1 I believe it was a choice. Because the Thanksgiving meal is bad.
I'm getting a vasectomy in the morning, and we're having Thanksgiving, the two of us at night.

Speaker 1 No thanks for me. It was my choice.

Speaker 1 You don't like the Thanksgiving meal. Don't lie.
And this is no shade on Paige's mom's cooking, okay? In case she's listening to me. No, you're a wonderful cook.
Unbelievable. I love Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 I love it. And I hate turkey.
Hate it. Yeah, you hate turkey.
Yes. Hate it.
But let me, let's all do this. Let's make our perfect menu.
I'll start. So first you need a nash, right?

Speaker 1 And don't get me started with that. Just wait.
We're going to eat early anyway. First of all, the meal should be between three and four.

Speaker 1 First up, right? After that. Yes.
Agreed. Agreed.
And a minute later than four is sick. Agreed.
But too late.

Speaker 1 There needs to be now the O'Brien family, my wife's family, they do a beautiful something called the dip. It's a family dip.
This is cream cheese, mayo, and Dumand. What's it called?

Speaker 1 It's a certain kind of seasoning. I don't know what it's called.
Cafe De DL Hughly. I don't know.
I don't know the name of the seasoning, but Beaumont. Beaumond seasoning.
That's it.

Speaker 1 And it's like this creamy, delicious. There's like celery in it.
You use big Frito scoops. I know it sounds crazy.
It's delish. Delish.
I love a dip. So you get the dip going.

Speaker 1 Then you do a baked brie. Come on.
in a phyllo dough pastry thing then you're doing a certain then you get also get an apricot jam nice start with that right and then you do a crude doté. Fine.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Nice like homemade ranch thing.
Maybe a green goddess dressing. Shout out the great bake by Melissa.
Patent pending. Let's give her a residual.
Nice. Right.

Speaker 1 And we're grazing and we're doing drive-bys, popping a couple to the fat face. Okay.
Then you sit down. I want a homemade bread.
I want a Parker house roll. I want a biscuit.

Speaker 1 And I want good fresh butter with Florida sal, baby.

Speaker 1 That crispy, I want those salt flakes to shine like crack rocks beautiful on that butter right gotta cut through the fat then I want a medley I want a baked macaroni and cheese I want some kind of potato dish I'm not a mashed potatoes man but I know that people like it I want a nice sweet potato with that baked marshmallowy thing or do like a souffle you don't have to do the baked marshmallows hey we're not in wisconsin maybe that's not for you but give me something a nice sweet sweet potato thing.

Speaker 1 Then I want a winter vegetable medley thing chopped up. I'm talking turnips.
I'm talking turnips. I don't know any other ones.

Speaker 1 A carrot?

Speaker 1 I'm talking a root, a gourd. I want roots and gourds.

Speaker 1 And I'm in gourds.

Speaker 1 Talking

Speaker 1 vegetables. Okay.
I'm talking root a bega.

Speaker 1 Maybe a beet? A beet? Sure. And I want a drizzle, a nice maple syrup drizzle on that thing.
Great. Yeah.
So I want those carbs, those veggies, of course, string beans, string bean casserole.

Speaker 1 That's one of my faves.

Speaker 1 And yeah, I don't care about the turkey. Do with it what you want.
That's going to be my plate. And then I'm from the little pie company in New York.
The sour cream apple pie is so sick.

Speaker 1 Go get it right now. I ordered them for my birthday.
They're my favorite thing. The sour cream apple pie, they also do a New York cheesecake.

Speaker 1 They do everything, but the apple pie is next level. And yeah, and then just spend the rest of the night tooting and being with family and watching football and tooting.

Speaker 1 You ordered your own pie on your own birthday? I ordered three.

Speaker 1 And you said my reservation was sad. Olivia.

Speaker 1 Olivia, what do you think is missing from Josh's? I think that that was an absolute feast. I think everything there was fantastic, but in case there are some missing items.

Speaker 2 I have to agree. I think everything in there is perfection.
The only thing that I might add is my grandmother every year without fail makes this incredible cheese log.

Speaker 2 And I'm not sure what kind of cheese it is, but she's got spices and herbs just rolled all over that thing. Some little pecans.
You get that with some, you know, just little like water crackers.

Speaker 2 And you you just go to town before your meal. And then there's a beautiful like fruit salad usually.
And then, you know, I'm not a big turkey person either. I find it dry.
And I, I know I'm crazy.

Speaker 2 I don't really like gravy. So maybe like for me, I would love like a honey ham to kind of still

Speaker 1 like a roast ham or something.

Speaker 2 That's like really going to scratch the itch for me.

Speaker 1 You see, the three of us just sat here and said, we don't like turkey. And we were almost, we were almost worried that we were going to offend people.

Speaker 1 You're like, you're not going to want to hear this. I don't like gravy.
No one does. Nobody likes this crap.
So I have a question. Why are we killing 46 million turkeys? Let's kill somebody else.

Speaker 1 The ham? Sounds great. I'm not going to eat it, but I'll have a chicken.
Why? What is it with the obsession with the turkey? The turkey is not good. We're wasting these turkeys.

Speaker 1 I would vote to switch the whole holiday to duck. How sick would that be? We all just have a gorgeous duck.

Speaker 1 Imagine this.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, imagine this, Josh. You come over.
We have everything you just had. And then we have these little tortillas.
We have a little hoisin sauce. We have some scallions.

Speaker 1 We have a Peking duck. And you make a little mooshoo wrap.
God, that's Thanksgiving. That's Thanksgiving.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Make Mooshoo great again.

Speaker 1 Make Mooshoo great again. Mooshoo is it.
Yeah, Mooshoo is it.

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Speaker 1 Nobody's ever dared to ask, how many calories do you think are in one tablespoon of hoisin sauce? I don't know. That shit is thick.
Yeah, there's molasses in that.

Speaker 1 But I'm telling you, Mushu doesn't get enough, like, it just doesn't get enough shine. Like, someone, like, if Olivia Rodrigo gave Mushu its flowers, I'm telling you, Big Mushu would be going Masuga.

Speaker 1 Big Mushu would be going Masuga.

Speaker 1 Title of the episode. Big Mushoo going Mesuga.
It is, absolutely. And Big Mushoo deserves its day in the limelight.
It does. Can we talk about current and former, like growing up, right?

Speaker 1 The words Mugugai Pan

Speaker 1 was more part of my lexicon.

Speaker 1 Like of Chinese takeout. Like Mushu, Mugu Gai Pan, Egg Fu Yang,

Speaker 1 Bun Zao. I don't know if you did that one, but Bun Zhao is very good.
Thai. It's sort of like a pad Thai, but a little bit different.

Speaker 1 It was a bun zhao and came with a little bit of an acidic acidic sauce.

Speaker 1 Delish, but it's no longer, I mean, they don't even do, those are more, I found East Coast dishes. I don't see them a lot on West Coast Chinese menus.

Speaker 1 Especially the egg fund, I think, is, I would agree. The egg fund is a period piece.

Speaker 1 There's something about it that is very 90s egg full.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it sounds like a rapper's name.

Speaker 1 It sounds like that with no, that's young egg. Young egg fuggy, you know, yeah, or like you're from UCLA.
What's up, egg fu?

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 1 My boy Young Egg Fu.

Speaker 1 That's nuts.

Speaker 1 Young egg fu.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I love Chinese.

Speaker 1 Chinese in the city.

Speaker 1 Chinese takeout in the city, though, has also, I think, gone downhill. I feel like you could just order in from anywhere back in the day, and it would be spectacular.

Speaker 1 And now they are a dime a dozen, Josh. You can't find good Chinese anywhere.
Well, why don't we talk about the utter witch hunt on MSG, which it turns out MSG is just the delicious part.

Speaker 1 Yes, total witch hunt seems incredibly xenophobic. I don't know what the fuck that was.
But apparently, MSG is just the ultimate umami bomb and makes everything taste delicious. That and cornstarch.

Speaker 1 Cornstarch, you need it. It's a thickener.
It's what takes that brown sauce from soy to silky, okay?

Speaker 1 You are so right. And growing up, because of my mom being on some of the things.
You don't even need to finish this sentence. Every mother, no cornstarch.
Oh, man.

Speaker 1 She would, I'd literally be sitting there and I would hope she would forget. And then she'd be like, chicken and broccoli, no cornstarch.
And just eight-year-old Josh would be like, fuck.

Speaker 1 That's at least better than sometimes you'd get a sauce on the side. And believe me, you don't want to see that chicken undressed.

Speaker 1 You don't. That chicken is pale as a ghost.

Speaker 1 Not a seasoning in sight. But what, like, General Chow's chicken, orange chicken, kung pao chicken, these are all creations of America.
Like, this is not true Chinese food. Correct.

Speaker 1 These are deliciously fried pieces of chicken in some type of a sweet tangy sauce with cornstarch to thicken it and MSG to make it the best of your life. But yes, the war on MSG, fucked up.

Speaker 1 I don't like it. No, and that guy Logan, the TikToker who does the cucumbers, you've seen him? Yes.
He's the one who, he's single-handedly changing our opinions on MSG.

Speaker 1 I bet you MSG is through the roof because of him. He adds it, right? He adds it to everything.
I love that. I love it.

Speaker 1 Have you seen...

Speaker 1 And maybe he'll die. Maybe he won't.
We'll see. Have you seen an influencer on TikTok called Bosch? No.
Bosh.

Speaker 1 What does he do?

Speaker 1 Bosh.

Speaker 1 So he is.

Speaker 1 I actually follow his son, who's a boxer. That's how I discovered him.
Big John lives up to his name. Big dude.
Loves Chinese food. Lives in the UK.

Speaker 1 And he'd be like, Saturday nights are for fucking Chinese.

Speaker 1 And he just goes. And

Speaker 1 he'll put in an order dog that is so epic and legendary. And he'll be like, Hello, Peter.

Speaker 1 He's like, It's Big John here, and then it'll be like shrimp bowls and fucking chicken chow mein, regular chow mein, special fry rice, uh, sweet and sour pork, Hong Kong style.

Speaker 1 Like, it's all this cool British ways that they eat it, and they say

Speaker 1 it's so ill. It'd be like shrimp prawn bowls, shrimp chips, and then he'll end it, curry sauce, and then he'll end it with, and one for me.
Bosh.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 his art order is just so epic. And I'm trying to on his Instagram once he wrote out the order.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh. Okay.
This was just one for him.

Speaker 1 What's his name? Big John One. John John One.
Yeah. Okay.
Love him. Okay.

Speaker 1 Special fried rice, chicken chow main, chicken bowls, salt and chili chicken, Singapore rice noodles, salt and chili king prawn, chili crispy beef,

Speaker 1 salt and chili chips, curry sauce, barbecue pork ribs, prawn crackers, bosh.

Speaker 1 What the hell is a prawn cracker? That's what I want to know. I think like a shrimp chip.
Wow. And I write him, dude.

Speaker 1 He posts this shit. Oh no, the guy at the Blue Orchid is in the Blue Orchid, which is in the UK, a Chinese restaurant.
I got to try it. And the guy who works there is Richard.
Hello, Richard.

Speaker 1 It's big John. I've even heard of the Blue Orchard.
It's a famous Chinese place, I think. Very famous.
In the UK? In the UK. Cool.
I think. Or wait, what comedian did we have? What British comedian?

Speaker 1 Jim Jeffries. But he's Jim Jeffries.
Australian. Australian.
Yes. Okay.
Maybe it was different. He was talking about Mott 32, which is famous.
Yes. But that's in Vancouver and Vegas.
Wow.

Speaker 1 We need to try. This is our show to Hulu, Josh.
The top 10 Chinese food places in the world.

Speaker 1 And we'll review them. Wow.
Every. Why don't we do top 10 of every place? Top 10.
Five place. Yes.

Speaker 1 In. It's called the top five.
Wow. Yes.
Great.

Speaker 1 Okay, cool. I'll do it for free.
Not.

Speaker 1 No, thanks.

Speaker 1 Hey, can I bring up something to the group?

Speaker 1 I recently have been having to use lip balm because Joshi's been a little dry.

Speaker 1 I'm going to ask you guys something. Okay.
I'm going to apply it on the podcast. And you tell me how I can walk around like this.
Okay. And this is an incredible lip gloss.

Speaker 1 This is from Jack Black, sponsor the podcast. I love Jack Black.
Everything they do is perfect. This is not an indictment on Jack Black.
This is an indictment on lip gloss. Are we ready?

Speaker 1 Chapstick, lip gloss. I don't care what it is.

Speaker 1 You're a fucking Carmex man, whatever you are, you know? Okay, here. And if you're not watching the podcast, I'll try to describe it, but you should be watching it on YouTube.
Josh is looking

Speaker 1 very strange. He's light layer.

Speaker 1 I can't, Olivia, be honest. You're here.
I can't walk outside like this.

Speaker 1 I look crazy, dog.

Speaker 1 Oh, are your lips glistening? I I can't see. They're glistening.
Oh, my God. I look like I just ate a Krispy Kreme.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let me see. Yeah, they're glistening for sure.
Absolutely. I'm a grown-up, dude.
I'm a grown-up. No,

Speaker 1 they're too glistening for a grown man. I'm married to a woman.
Yeah, too glisteny. Too glistening.
What do I do? Honestly,

Speaker 1 you just deal with chapped lips. The thing is, it's that season, Josh.
It's dry season.

Speaker 1 I take two Zyrtex now. My skin gets so crackly, my eczema pops back up, but I do nothing about it.
I'm not going to lotion myself every day.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to apply Vaseline or in this case, a gorgeous Jack Black to my lips. I'm not doing that right now.
I'm not. That said, I use their gorgeous deodorant every day because it's fantastic.

Speaker 1 All their products. Love Jack Black.
All their products. And it makes me feel, Josh, like a fucking man.

Speaker 1 When I put on that deodorant, and it might be because on other days I wear my wife's deodorant, but when I wear my own jack black deodorant, I feel like a man.

Speaker 1 And let me tell you, even their lip balm is outstanding. I love to put it on at night and I feel fancy in my dreams.

Speaker 1 But it's minty, it's delish, shea butter.

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Speaker 1 Ooh, let me ask this. This will be a fun segment with Olivia.
Okay, tell me what would be a, what's it called? Like a deal breaker, deal breaker, okay?

Speaker 1 And not, and obviously the great Ethan would never do any of these things. This is completely hypothetical.
You meet a guy, smokeshoe, handsome, you know, I don't know what you're into,

Speaker 1 young Gerard Butler. I don't know.

Speaker 1 And, but he wears a tinted lip gloss, like has shiny lips, but otherwise is handsome.

Speaker 1 He has a Centaurion card, a black Amex, but like literally every time you guys go out and, and it's flavored, it's either tangerine, something fancy. Is that a deal breaker?

Speaker 2 1000%.

Speaker 1 That's a deal breaker.

Speaker 2 I couldn't, I could not handle that. I mean, my lips aren't even glossy all the time.
To have him like showing me up, one with, it's a tinted balm.

Speaker 2 We've got like a little sparkly pink action happening. Different strokes for different folks, but I just don't think I could handle just like a perfectly glossed out on my partner.

Speaker 1 No, you go, you go, Ben.

Speaker 1 I'm out. No, no, I don't want that.
Give a little bit. Give her a hypothetical.
Oh, okay. Okay.
A A hypothetical. As Josh said, man is absolutely perfect.

Speaker 1 Perfect the same way, Centaurian card, chiseled jaw, all the stuff, whatever you're into. Except he wears transition lenses.

Speaker 2 Again, I'm sorry, but I feel so shallow, but I'm going to have to say that might be a deal breaker, too.

Speaker 1 You can't. That was the right answer.
You can't go from the outside in and be half tinted, half not. No.
Don't.

Speaker 1 The tint is too much. much.

Speaker 1 This is too much.

Speaker 1 Okay, I got one. He's perfect.
Handsome. Got it all going on.
Six pack. But every time you guys are going out, he says, are we going to go parte or what?

Speaker 1 I'm in. I take him.

Speaker 2 I also think I'd have to take him.

Speaker 1 Sounds like a hoot. Yeah, good time.

Speaker 1 Okay, he also wears a crossbody bag, like one of those like fanny bags that goes across your torso.

Speaker 2 Oh, every time

Speaker 1 every time, every time you guys are, you guys are out.

Speaker 2 Is it like one of the fashionable Euro ones? That's like, it's the okay, yes, 1,000%. I'm still in.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm hard out if he's wearing the crossbody Euro. I have one more.
Perfect. I love the way we describe perfect, Josh.
Chiseled six-pack. Yeah.
He only wears Ed Hardy t-shirts

Speaker 2 hard pass hard pass i can't do that i can't handle that we need to bring back ed hardy

Speaker 1 okay those shirts went hard he's perfect but no matter whether you're going to a black tie affair or just a random date night he's wearing javiana thongs

Speaker 2 and by by javiana thong do you mean like a flip-flop or like the underwear?

Speaker 1 No, the Javiana thong, like the flip-flop. Oh, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 No, you can't have your toes out all the time, you know, reserve that for a special occasion.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 respect.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, I think I'm gonna have to pass on that.

Speaker 1 That's a good question, too. What if there was a guy?

Speaker 1 Because, like, I feel like in my experience, not everyone, not speaking in generalities here, women are celebrated for wearing a fun undergarment, but if a man does, run for the hills.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Is that a deal breaker, Olivia?

Speaker 2 You know what? I'll be honest. I don't, nothing like this has come across my desk.

Speaker 1 Like a cheetah print. Like a cheetah print?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I mean, I.
Mesh.

Speaker 1 It's like a laundry bag. Oh, material.

Speaker 2 A laundry bag material. That's a lot.
That's a tall order, but I could get down with a fun print. That sounds like, you know, it's playful.
What a time.

Speaker 2 The mesh detailing, I feel like that would just be incredibly uncomfortable. I'd be pretty concerned for your well-being after a day of like wearing that in a tight denim.
Could you imagine?

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 I think I'm so shallow that I'm almost out on a guy wearing underwear that isn't black. Like, like any other color, I think I'm out.
White?

Speaker 1 Shit stain. Okay.

Speaker 1 Any other color, you're going to wear red briefs. What are you, nuts? Red briefs? No.

Speaker 1 Imagine me, Josh, in red briefs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it'd be crazy.

Speaker 1 It'd be crazy.

Speaker 1 What I would think is, oh, he got a deal at Nordstrom Rack.

Speaker 1 Yeah, on red briefs. Dude, there are two packs.
Here's the thing about me. I don't wear only black.

Speaker 1 I hate to break it because I go to Nordstrom Rack and the kind of high-end Calvin Klein, the cut that I like, which is their best one, in my opinion, they sell a two-pack and it's a dark gray and a navy blue.

Speaker 1 And that's, and I have like, so I have about 10 navies, 10 grays, and 10 black. And I switch them out.
But they also have a red and a light gray, and I never get it. Of course.

Speaker 1 By the way, you wearing a gray and a navy, I'll let it slide, okay? Thank you. I'll let it slide.
God bless you.

Speaker 1 But the red, I once accidentally bought a pack online that came with a red and brown. Oof.
Out. Sorry.
Can't do it. I can't.
Nuts. I had to throw him away.
Yeah, I get it. Should we do another story?

Speaker 1 We should do a story. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Would love to hear of something hilarious going on in the news. Well, did you know that one in three Gen Z workers are too scared to use office bathroom? They're literally scared S-less.

Speaker 1 For a generation that likes expressing their emotions, Gen Z keeps a lot bottled up inside.

Speaker 1 A whopping one in three Zoomers is scared to use the bathroom at the office, according to a recent study by online bathroom appliance purveyor.

Speaker 1 UK-based Bazaar surveyed more than 1,000 employees on their workplace loo habits and calculated the impact of bathroom breaks on company productivity.

Speaker 1 According to the study, one in 12 employees have never gone number two at work, while 34% are scared to use the facilities. Hmm.
All I have to say is they didn't survey any Jews.

Speaker 1 We could not possibly control not taking a shit post-coffee in the morning. No way.

Speaker 1 Unless there's a serious problem going on, i.e. constipation.
This is Josh's least favorite topic. I hate this.

Speaker 1 You're going to have to go. And if you're not, you're subjecting yourself to some physical pain.
This is no good. Go, do your business.
If you're worried about the smell, bring a little spritz.

Speaker 1 Bring something a little poopery so that you can make yourself feel better, okay? Bring a good wipe to elevate your experience. But ladies, start taking more dumps at the office.
I'm cutting this out.

Speaker 1 So gross.

Speaker 1 Yucky, as Ben would say.

Speaker 1 Yucky.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. Well, there's another.
Oh, there was one I wanted to.

Speaker 1 I got... Got one set up and I kind of, what the frick is it? It was really important.

Speaker 1 I think it was good. We don't need to talk about Brianna and

Speaker 1 Zach Brian, right? We can if you want to. I think we just are clearly team Brianna here.
We love Brianna. She's the greatest.

Speaker 1 Love, queen. Love.
Total queen. Utter queen.
Total queen. No, that's it.
Total queen. She wants to come back on the podcast and like talk like intimate details, no problem.

Speaker 1 And actually, you know, it's funny. She, if you remember, she was on the show and she's like, no, don't talk about that with us.
And maybe that's like we, maybe we should have known.

Speaker 1 Like, don't talk about like

Speaker 1 she had come to us and she had said that I think she had spoken about their relationship on the podcast and she had politely asked us to remove it which we did of course but maybe that was because

Speaker 1 you know this guy's a little bit loco over there and if he heard it there would have been some big balagan balagon which for anyone who doesn't know means a big mess yes i i just again to reiterate brianna is the greatest just and you know what?

Speaker 1 It's like really, and, and I like seeing this no matter what, because breakups are hard no matter what, but like to see how Dave and Josh have been this like cohesive team behind her warms the heart.

Speaker 1 It's super cool. What they're doing is really, really cool.
Completely turning the tables, all with her saying, no, fuck you and your 12 million. It's just so badass because that's a lot of money.

Speaker 1 And people think she's crazy. They're like, how don't you take 12 million? Do you know the stress that she'd need to live under every single day having an NDA?

Speaker 1 Being a public person, talking, worrying about what she's going to say, and if she's going to have three of that million just snatched?

Speaker 1 This was the move. This was the move.
She lives in peace. She tells her truth.
Hopefully, she writes a book. She'll make far more money than the 12 million.
She'll be better off for it. Team Brie.

Speaker 1 Team Brie. Team Brie.
And as someone who has never signed an NDA either, I'll say, say, shout out Brie. Much respect.
Shout out, Brie. She should start a podcast, though.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you've thought of this, Miss Chicken Fry, but you should start a podcast called Baked Brie, where you, if you want, you could get high and eat cheeses, or it could be a baking show without baking Brie.

Speaker 1 Either works, but Baked Brie, I think, is an amazing name. I love it.
This kid went to school for marketing. Should we get to a speakpipe? Yes.
Speak pipes are questions or advice.

Speaker 1 We will answer them on the podcast, but make sure they're brief. Brevity is key.
Go to speakpipe.com slash good guys and maybe we'll air your question on the show.

Speaker 1 This one's from You Guessed It Anonymous. Ellen Rose.

Speaker 3 Hi guys, this is Michelle. I'm a huge moron.
Love you guys. Keep doing what you're doing.
I just had a quick question, wanted a male perspective. So I am newly pregnant.

Speaker 3 and pregnant with our first child. Body's going through a lot of changes.
I've had a lot more respect for what women do.

Speaker 3 And I was just talking to my husband and brought up a theoretical topic that if down the line we have four kids, our family's complete, would he get a vasectomy? He was vehemently against this.

Speaker 3 And I kind of got annoyed. I'm like, I'm going through all this stuff.
Men don't have to do much in regards to pregnancy. Obviously, you guys are going to be good fathers.

Speaker 3 But besides the point, is that too much to ask? for my husband to get a vasectomy. And again, this is theoretical.

Speaker 3 We don't even have our first baby yet, but just the thought that he wouldn't even comprehend it when I've been on birth control since I was like 15 just feels unfair.

Speaker 3 So I just wanted a male's perspective. Am I being crazy or is he?

Speaker 1 Wow, this is, this is, this is heavy. I was all on his side until the birth control at 15 piece.
So I think we got to break this down.

Speaker 1 I think that it is insane to be having an argument about something that's not going to happen for 10 or 15 years. So one, I would shelf it.

Speaker 1 If you haven't even had your first kid and you're considering having more, I would shelf it.

Speaker 1 That said, I do think it's a little, a little crazy to ask your husband to have a vasectomy unless he like demanded that you were on birth control.

Speaker 1 Like if that was, if he said, I need you on birth control so we can just go hog wild, then okay, you can say back to him, I want you to get a vasectomy so we can go hog wild.

Speaker 1 If it was your choice to be on birth control as a birth control mechanism, I don't know. I don't think that they're comparable between a procedure and taking a pill.

Speaker 1 Because there are pills that men can take to shoot blanks.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that's a... I probably made that up.
You did.

Speaker 1 You did.

Speaker 1 You couldn't just let it slide. That would be possible.

Speaker 1 Ben, that would be bigger than Ozempic.

Speaker 1 That would win the Nobel Pills. Why can't we make that? We should.
We should make that.

Speaker 1 We can make that.

Speaker 1 Let's add that to the list with the anti-cancer pill. Yeah, we're going to make both of them.
No problem. You have a minor in chemistry.
We'll make it.

Speaker 1 And then I had one other thought here no i don't know no i don't think you can ask him to do that oh the other thought was by the time you're done having kids wouldn't you think that he wouldn't need a vasectomy anymore josh no wouldn't god have taken care of things by then with the biological clock i think you're you're way off on this one benny boy

Speaker 1 okay okay you think she can demand the vasectomy Okay, first, I think you are dead on with what you first said, which is the thing this is all hanging on, which is theoretical questions like this is a recipe for disaster.

Speaker 1 Agreed. There is no need because, again, it's all theoretical.

Speaker 1 So listen, once this guy, let's say you have these four kids, once this guy goes through four kids of sleep deprivation, booby diapers, preschool, potty training,

Speaker 1 he's going to self-visect. Okay.

Speaker 1 He's going to do it. He's going to do a backroom one by himself.
He's gonna look it up on YouTube. Okay.

Speaker 1 You're gonna be like, honey, why are you heating up that knife? We'll be like, be quiet.

Speaker 1 So don't worry about all that. You know what? I don't think this is TMI, but I think she brings up an excellent point.
And I don't think it's worth.

Speaker 1 And please, Olivia, tell me if I'm, if I'm saying the right thing here. Birth control is not nothing.

Speaker 1 Like, and growing up, like, I didn't understand it completely until I like was with someone who was on it and then off it and the way they were affected by it.

Speaker 1 And for some people, it is not a big deal, but it's a bunch of hormones in your body that can make you feel crazy, right, Olivia?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I started birth control when I was 17 and I went off of it after about like nine months on it because it made me like. truthfully insane.

Speaker 2 Like I was so anxious, I ended up getting like diagnosed with an anxiety disorder because of it. And so it does have a really like insane impact on women.

Speaker 2 And I think like from her perspective, there's like the common thought, I guess, is that like a vasectomy is technically reversible or what have you.

Speaker 2 And, you know, instead of having like a constant flow of hormones, it's not nothing, but vasectomy is not nothing either.

Speaker 1 Or you could just practice safer sex.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know if you guys didn't hear what I said, but like what I meant to say was if he forced her to take birth control, then that's fucked up and she can force him to get a vasectomy.

Speaker 1 But if she chose to have birth control, to take birth control, and yes, there, like, it's widely regarded that birth control has a lot of side effects.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying that it's not right for the right people, but it has certainly side effects. And it's a huge thing for a girl to do.
So,

Speaker 1 but unless he forced you to do it, if you were just like, I want to have a

Speaker 1 guarantee that we can have unprotected sex and I won't get pregnant, like there are ways to be safe adults without being on birth control was all I was trying to say.

Speaker 1 And so if he forced her to do it, then she should be able to force him to get a vasectomy.

Speaker 1 If she was on birth control because she wanted to be, I think it's equally his choice to not want a surgery that twists his nuts. Totally.

Speaker 1 I just think like if you're, you know, if you have a bunch of kids and someone goes off, like is, is on birth control in their 20s and then they go off of it because you're having kids and every couple of years and maybe you just like, and then just be like, just get back on it like papa zyrtec it's like it's it's a big thing and i think agreed and what's wild is right if you think about it it's like you're doubling the amount of estrogen and female hormones in your body imagine if like men took a pill that like doubled the amount of like male hormones testosterone would be fucking yoked no it would be fucking it would be fucking sick

Speaker 1 i paid for that but it but men would be walking around with void rage all day because like everything that makes us like insufferable would be

Speaker 1 to the 10th power, right? So I understand that.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this is true or if I read something that wasn't true, but I believe that I read that there are women who were on birth control forever, went off birth control and couldn't even look at their husbands.

Speaker 1 They're like, I married this guy. Like it changes your perception on your partner as well.
Whoa. Maybe that's true.
Maybe that's not. Olivia, have you heard that?

Speaker 2 Yes, I have heard that and it is true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. I didn't make it up.

Speaker 2 It has something to do with like the pheromones and how you perceive that because it affects your hormones so much. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 So, the underground talk, Josh, is that birth control was actually created so that women would like their annoying ass husbands and be more subservient. You know what?

Speaker 1 We wouldn't need birth control if we just banned cargo shorts.

Speaker 1 If we banned cargo shorts and

Speaker 1 lazy boys orthotic shoes, then just women would be more attracted to men. They would, absolutely.
But c'est la vie. C'est la vie.
C'est la vie.

Speaker 1 Say it us. C'est la vi.
Cer la vie.

Speaker 1 Getting serious, but in a funny way. God, we're so cool.
We're so good.

Speaker 1 All I know is I've had two buddies of mine get vasectomies from the same guy in Santa Monica, and my boy Len called me on the way, and he's sober.

Speaker 1 But they gave him a valium beforehand because, like, you know, it's an in-office procedure. So you're not getting like laughing gas or any of that good.
Good. They just numb it.

Speaker 1 It's very like, it's pretty, it's done pretty easily nowadays, but they just numb a little area around the taint. And then

Speaker 1 they just go in, snip, snip, boom, boom. They cauterize it.
A little smoke comes up. Oh, there's a new pope.
And all of a sudden, you can't have the kids anymore.

Speaker 1 And my buddy Len called me being a sober guy on this Valium on the way there. His wife was driving and he goes, bro, Bro, I'm gonna have a couple of these vasectomies if I get valium every time.

Speaker 1 Does it stop the flow? What does it stop the flow of? Like, do you get the same amount of testosterone? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You do?

Speaker 1 Everything is the same, except the part that makes that

Speaker 1 without getting too discarded.

Speaker 1 Except that good come.

Speaker 1 You still have it.

Speaker 1 This is the episode. This is where Lauren and Michael Bostick call us and goes, you know, we've decided to go in a different direction.
You actually don't fit the dear media.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 That good come.

Speaker 1 Title.

Speaker 1 That good come. Lauren and Michael talk about some wild shit on their pod, too.
So I think we're in good company. We're in great company.
We're in great company.

Speaker 1 I hate you.

Speaker 1 Terrible. Olivia, I'm sorry about us.
This is horrible. At least there's video evidence.
This is what happened when we speak for 15 minutes about birth control, okay?

Speaker 1 We earned it.

Speaker 1 Should we get to what are you nuts? Yes, we should.

Speaker 1 Our what are you nuts moment of the week is our gripes with people, places, and things, things that are sticking in our craw, big or small, all start. So I wrote...

Speaker 1 I wrote a movie and I'm going to hopefully direct it. I think I am.
And my wonderful agents, my agency, they're fabulous. Love them.
Very lucky to be with them. You know, this is a new thing for me.

Speaker 1 So I'm talking to different agents. I'm learning a different process because I'm always the actor kind of singing for my soup, praying that I get the role.
But now I'm like the one offering the role.

Speaker 1 And I am just getting a view into how crazy this business of mine is because we basically... They say put a list together for your lead character, who you want to play the main lead role.

Speaker 1 And we got to get a name for financing. Got to get, you know, got to get somebody good.
So I put names together and they read the list and they go, don't even try.

Speaker 1 These people are too famous. They won't even read it.
They won't even look at it because, you know, it's a little independent movie, of course, understandable, right? So I go, okay,

Speaker 1 let's go old school, babe. Let's hold auditions.
Let's find an unknown. Let's find a young Josh Peck, you know, somebody who can really really do the work.
They go, what are you nuts? You need a name.

Speaker 1 So my answer is, what are you nuts? This business is nuts. It seems impossible, but we'll see.
First of all, what are you nuts for just telling me about this now? I demand a small role.

Speaker 1 It can be small, but I demand a small role. It'll happen.
It's happening for you. And if you need any help, I will manifest this thing into a billion-dollar project.
You let me know.

Speaker 1 Call your Montclair gifting guy. Maybe he'll put some money in.
We don't need him. We got plenty of folks.

Speaker 1 Trust me. Great.

Speaker 1 The next,

Speaker 1 just because now I'm thinking about this, don't ever let some agent tell you that you can't get Tom Cruise. Because if you want Tom Cruise, we're going to call Tommy.

Speaker 1 We're going to show him the script. And he's going to tell you to your face that he doesn't like it.
And nobody's going to tell you.

Speaker 1 But nobody's going to tell you that you can't put it in front of Tom Cruise. I take a no right to the face.
I want a no from you, not from your agent that never showed it to the person at all, okay?

Speaker 1 Because they fucking do that.

Speaker 1 Great what are you nuts. My what are you nuts is totally different, and it might offend some people, but I think I will course correct.
My what are you nuts is the Hershey's kiss, okay? Interesting.

Speaker 1 Hershey's kisses are a what are you nuts. Too much work, Josh.
for too little reward.

Speaker 1 I want chocolate, okay? I'm craving that good milk chocolate. Ozempic is on day seven of seven.
I'm having sugar cravings. All I want is Hershey's chocolate.
I go, I pick up a kiss.

Speaker 1 You unwrap the tinfoil. You pull out the thing.
There's a piece of tinfoil still stuck on it. You take it out.
You put it in your mouth. By the time that's done, you're ready for the next one.

Speaker 1 There is too much work in the Hershey's kiss. So this got me thinking, okay, maybe I should just buy Hershey's bars.
That's probably a better solution to my problem.

Speaker 1 Or unwrapped Hershey's kisses in a large bag. I don't know if it exists.
That would also be a problem solver here. But the Hershey's kiss is a what are you nuts?

Speaker 1 That's right, Hershey. You heard it here first.

Speaker 1 The Hershey's kiss is nuts.

Speaker 1 You know, tonight, Ben, I'm going out, or no, tomorrow night, I'm taking my brother-in-law, Will, who's about to have a baby next week, to a beautiful Italian dinner with my brother-in-law and his brother-in-law.

Speaker 1 We're going out for an Italian dinner. Care of Dorcia.
Shout out Dorcia. And the only thing that would make it better would be if you were here.
I would absolutely love to be there.

Speaker 1 And I wish that I could be. And if they have Hershey's kisses as you walk out, throw them in the trash.

Speaker 1 I will stand on business if I see one. Don't even look at them, folks.

Speaker 1 That's our show. What a show it was.
Five stars. If not, what are you nuts? Listen to us on Apple, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.
Watch us on Josh's YouTube.

Speaker 1 Share our clips, Instagram and TikTok, TikTok and Instagram. Mondays and Thursdays, folks.
We will see you next time.

Speaker 4 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Speaker 4 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.