The People V. Ozempic

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Speaker 1 I'm Josh Peck and I'm Ben Soffer.

Speaker 2 And we're the good guys.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of guys out there and we're the good ones.

Speaker 2 Amazon Morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with the lost Jewish Kelsey brother.

Speaker 2 It's Ben Soffer.

Speaker 2 oh man did you see what happened to them last week that was nuts with the facing with the phone at penn state oh i saw it that was nuts that was crazy they i'm just saying the guy that it antagonized him that was not nice that was not nice yeah you know there's this great clip there are these two mma fighters named nick diaz and nate diaz some of the greatest fighters in ufc history

Speaker 2 and nate diaz was asked once once, did you get bullied in high school? Or did you ever have issues in high school with fights and stuff?

Speaker 2 And he looked at him and said, nah, man, I had an older brother.

Speaker 1 And like, your heart swells. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because just this idea that there was like an older brother looking out for him. And that's how I felt watching Jason Kelsey do it.
I mean, understandably so.

Speaker 2 People who are paid like that, who are famous like that, must be held to a higher standard, undoubtedly.

Speaker 1 But like every now and then, you fuck around and you find out and you know what i i can respect that he felt the need to protect his brother protect his brother nobody likes the language used no one likes that language that said it was just a fucked up situation somebody's running down the street holding a phone in your face yelling about your your brother and his incredibly famous girlfriend i thought it was the only reasonable response and there was nothing cooler than the snatched phone and the slammed phone like i i don't know what i would have done

Speaker 2 You would have gotten on your phone.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was going to say I would have beat him up. No, I would have been like, Hello?

Speaker 2 What do you think about the fact that Josh is a loser for dating his wife?

Speaker 2 Ben's like,

Speaker 2 sorry.

Speaker 1 Sorry, one second.

Speaker 2 Hello? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'll be right there.
Okay, yeah, yeah. You're saying my dry cleaning's ready or not ready?

Speaker 2 No, I can't put you on speaker. I'm in a public zone.

Speaker 2 Avoid confrontation at all costs.

Speaker 1 What would you have done? You would have beat him up?

Speaker 2 Man. I mean, Jason Kelsey is 280 pounds pure man, man.
Like,

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I speak at a lot of colleges. These kids are big.

Speaker 1 You're 180 pounds a pure man.

Speaker 2 No, he's 280.

Speaker 1 I'm saying you're 180 pounds a pure man.

Speaker 2 I appreciate it. I mean, I.
Are you 180?

Speaker 1 Was that a good guess?

Speaker 2 Yeah, probably 190, if I'm being honest.

Speaker 1 You're 190 pounds a pure man.

Speaker 2 But if I had to pop off and like, I think I would feel comfortable fighting someone if they put hands on you, if they put hands on someone I loved or cared about.

Speaker 2 And other than that, I can't see a scenario in which. And I think if I'm that guy and I grab the phone and smash it, that guy's coming for me.

Speaker 1 Like I'm on the street minding my own business, and somebody comes up to me and gives me a huge titty twister.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What are you doing?

Speaker 2 If he put his hand, if someone put their hands on you, I mean, I would assess it really quick. Like, if I thought they were absolutely fucking crazy, but I don't know.

Speaker 2 I just might go, like, are you out of your fucking mind? What the fuck are you doing?

Speaker 1 Like, I think titty twister was too funny. Somebody comes up to me and they punch me in the face.

Speaker 2 Oh, I, I would, I, it would be bad. We're brawling.

Speaker 1 What's funnier than a titty twister?

Speaker 2 I mean, I was always so nervous about them because of my male, male breasts. And so, like, I always was like, I don't want, I don't, I was like, that feels like sexual harassment.
No, they hurt.

Speaker 1 They're painful.

Speaker 2 Yeah. They're painful.

Speaker 1 I don't think that we use the term anymore. The Indian burn, that was another one.

Speaker 2 Oh, listen, all of these things have gone the way of the dodo, and so they should. These

Speaker 2 school tortures,

Speaker 2 old school pranks. Unacceptable.

Speaker 1 Who twists somebody's skin in two different directions for sport?

Speaker 2 It's insane.

Speaker 2 Villains. What about Knuckles? You ever played fucking Knuckles?

Speaker 2 Terrible. Yes.
Or even this game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that one's bad. Yeah, the slap.

Speaker 1 That slap. Isn't that what that game's called slap? Yes.
Where you have your palms and then the other person has their hands on top of your palms and you slap them.

Speaker 2 I think that is because as a child, you have so few responsibilities that you need pain to remind you that you're alive.

Speaker 2 Whereas, like, as an adult, you have like just crushing credit card debt and super high blood pressure, and that reminds you you're alive.

Speaker 1 You have the constant reminders. Like, thank God, I haven't been punched in the nuts in quite some time, but I feel like at one point in time, that would happen once every six months.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you get smacked right in the nuts out of nowhere. And I'm sorry, ladies.
I know childbirth is tough. Being punched in the nuts, Oof.
That is, that is an unexplainable pain.

Speaker 1 Being really socked in the nuts.

Speaker 2 I'm just glad. I'm so relieved to not be a kid.
I love it.

Speaker 1 Me too. No, being an adult is fantastic.
How do we protect Max against those things? Do we teach Max how to do those things?

Speaker 1 Because the person doing those things typically doesn't have those things done to him. But we don't want Max to be a bully either.
But how do we protect him?

Speaker 2 Well, I think with modernity, modernity, we've lost this compulsion to learn how to protect ourselves. And I think, and also because like people are like, I can protect myself.

Speaker 2 I have a concealed carry license. It's like, isn't there somewhere in between where it's like two people, if it comes to blows, it happens.
And God willing, like both people walk away.

Speaker 2 And it just, it was unfortunate that it needed to happen. But these things do happen.
Like, that's why I want Max to be in some form of martial arts.

Speaker 1 I think it's good for the discipline i think it's good for the roundhouse kicks and i think it's good if a kid comes to him in sixth grade and is like your dad isn't talented and he's like i'll show you he's got to protect my name he's got to protect your name a thousand percent and i liked the discipline piece i think is real like speaking for myself i don't know anybody that's in martial arts that's dumb I think that martial arts sort of trains you to

Speaker 1 be regimented. I also, by the way, don't know many people in martial arts,

Speaker 1 but like the couple of people I know, very smart, very smart.

Speaker 2 I agree. I don't see a lot of negatives.

Speaker 2 And every, almost everyone I know, the 99% of people I know that actually train fighting in some respect, be it jiu-jitsu or boxing or Muay Thai or any kind of like, you know, taekwondo, they're not violent people.

Speaker 2 Like they're some of the most relaxed around violence.

Speaker 1 How badly, how badly when you were a large child, did you want to be a black belt in karate? Because all I wanted, it's funny, all I wanted was to be like a

Speaker 1 serious Jackie Chan. Like I would watch rush hour and I'd be like, that's what I want to, that's what I want to be.
And then I'd look down and I'd be like, oh, I'm 280 pounds and 13.

Speaker 1 Like, I can't do that.

Speaker 2 But that's all I wanted.

Speaker 1 That and to do the tricks in the skate park. Those are the two things I wanted.
Oh, that was sick.

Speaker 2 I knew I couldn't have done. I broke five limbs by the time I was 12.
I was never going to be on a VERT ramp. Okay.

Speaker 1 All I wanted was the Vert ramp. All I wanted.
That stuff was sick. It was sick.
Oh, I'm so jealous of people that could do that.

Speaker 2 If me on a Vert ramp,

Speaker 2 me on a Vert ramp at that size would have looked like the inside of a pinball machine. Like it just would have been.

Speaker 1 But if you could have done it, it would have been sick.

Speaker 2 It would have been sick. But I did do martial arts till I was 16.

Speaker 2 So I was.

Speaker 1 What age did you start martial arts?

Speaker 2 I started when I was young, and then the problem was I did different modales, different modalities.

Speaker 2 So I started out in like karate.

Speaker 2 I wanted to do. So tell the people about Ken Shulman in New York.
Ken Shulman, Taekwondo, obviously a Jew.

Speaker 1 Tiger Shulman's was, I just put that together. Shulman.

Speaker 2 Of course.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, that's hilarious.

Speaker 2 But Tiger Shulman's lion Wasserstein Taekwondo.

Speaker 2 Tiger Shulman was it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like it was the coolest.

Speaker 1 Like if you went to Tiger Schulman's, they would, it was during the golden age of advertising. You're watching a fun show.

Speaker 1 They show all these kids and Tiger Shulmans, and then they convince you to buy some balloon set for $9.99 with no shipping and handling. It was the golden age.

Speaker 1 And you'd go into, I never went to Tiger Schulman's, always wanted to. And if I did karate, it would have been Tiger.
But he's a local celebrity, like that guy that would teach you guitar.

Speaker 1 What was his name?

Speaker 2 I don't remember.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. It's Dan something will teach you guitar.
I have to look this up.

Speaker 2 Well, I did, I did Sato Karate in New York because I went to the YMCA every day after school for after-school program. And what?

Speaker 1 Dan Smith will teach you guitar. You don't remember this guy?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Oh, he would put his pictures everywhere. He was like on every telephone pole in the city.

Speaker 2 Ah, Dan Smith will teach you.

Speaker 1 Dan Smith will teach you guitar.

Speaker 2 Remember that advertising on polls in the city? Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was great. And you cut up 10 different little things at the bottom and you'd rip a phone number.
We were so, we were so clever. So innocent.
So clever.

Speaker 1 So clever. So innocent.
It was great. That's what he'd do, Dan Smith.
And he'd write his number and he'd pull a number. Exactly.

Speaker 2 Totally.

Speaker 1 Did you ever take piano? You were obviously musical.

Speaker 2 Did you ever take you, did you take piano? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you remember, did you like your piano teacher?

Speaker 2 Well, I, yeah, I had a

Speaker 2 badass Russian, like, no-holds bard, like worked with Putin at the KGB type Russian piano teacher. And he would bring delicious little Russian candies, and he was a really good teacher.

Speaker 2 But we never had small talk.

Speaker 1 No, I had, I also had like a works with Putin, but she was awful. She is the reason why I don't still play piano because she would, I, I had too relaxed of a hand.
She wanted me like this.

Speaker 2 And my, my wrists. Hand placements important.

Speaker 1 But my wrists just didn't bend the way that she wanted my wrists to bend.

Speaker 1 I don't know if she actually slapped my wrists when they didn't get there, but I recall potentially a ruler hitting the top of my wrist.

Speaker 1 And I'm sure I went home to my mom and I said, that woman hit me. And she pulled me.
But I, yeah, you know, teachers are everything. I loved playing the piano though.
Loved it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, man. It's, I remember my Russian piano teacher used to take my hand and he would like hit my, he would hit my leg with it, right? To like loosen up my wrist.

Speaker 2 And he'd be like, you know, and he'd be like, bum, bum, bum. And then the one thing I didn't like about him was his breath always smelled like he had just had a sandwich.
Like recently. And like,

Speaker 1 he probably did. What time did you go see him? 1.30? Your fault.

Speaker 2 I don't know, man. It was something with rye bread and a fl and just a fragrant cold cut.
This was not your top-tier cold cut. This was off-label.
Yeah, man, piano and karate was like my big thing.

Speaker 2 And I just remember like, I remember at one point at 18 years old, I got really into kung fu and I was taking kung fu lessons.

Speaker 1 Of course you did.

Speaker 2 Yeah, man.

Speaker 2 You know, I forget what a weird person I am, but I, yeah, I became orange sash and kung fu. I don't mean to brag.
I learned the full monkey

Speaker 2 it's pretty sick good for you the problem is have you ever seen the videos of like i'm talking like second third fourth degree like black belts and whatever the modality is right like taekwondo karate kung fu try to fight mma fighters no i've never seen it it's always

Speaker 2 they get they get fucking crushed quick yeah because there's like there's one unless it's like some and and then you know i'll stop talking about it but i love this stuff but there's just like one thing to do if you like truly want self-defense it's like that or kravmaga it's either like figure out a way to snatch out their eyes whilst kicking them in the nuts or you're gonna have to learn like stand-up game fighting like you're in the octagon and also how to wrestle and jiu-jitsu to actually be able to protect yourself could you put your hand through a wooden board Yeah, because those,

Speaker 2 let's look this up. Let's debunk.
Let's do some.

Speaker 1 Are they breakaway boards? Is that what you're going to say?

Speaker 2 I think so. But what are the boards made of?

Speaker 1 Like, there's no way that somebody's actually putting their hand through real mahogany.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 No way. It would hurt too much.

Speaker 2 It says... Board breaking is really, really easy.
The key is the boards designed for breaking are cut

Speaker 2 They're cut in their weakest orientation. Wood is incredibly strong going with the fibers.
Even a pine board is very hard to break long ways using a sledgehammer.

Speaker 2 However, if it's cut on its short axis, it's incredibly easy to break. Wow.

Speaker 1 It's just like slicing a nice steak, Josh.

Speaker 1 It's just like slicing a nice steak. Always against the grain.
Unbelievable. Speak on.

Speaker 2 Look at that. Speak up.
Look at that.

Speaker 1 That's it. Just, it's softer when it's against.
It's harder when it's with. That's it.
The same goes for board breaking.

Speaker 1 So if somebody ever comes up to you and says, I'm going to fucking kill you unless you break this board, always make sure to identify the grain and break against the grain. Yes.

Speaker 1 And that's why you should share this podcast with a friend. It could save somebody's life.

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Speaker 1 Hey there, I'm Brittany Xavier.

Speaker 5 And I'm Anthony Xavier.

Speaker 2 And this is the long game.

Speaker 6 I'm Brittany, a mom of three and content creator, passionate about wellness and living life to the fullest. And this is my husband, Anthony, who's been my partner in life and everything we do.

Speaker 5 If you're looking for inspiration to live intentionally, nurture meaningful relationships, and embrace a lifestyle that promotes well-being, you've come to the right place.

Speaker 6 Each week, we'll bring you conversations with experts in health, wellness, and personal development.

Speaker 6 We'll also be sharing our own stories, like how we navigate the ups and downs of family life and our journey towards a more mindful, fulfilling lifestyle.

Speaker 5 Expect some fun, laughter, and honest moments from us along the way.

Speaker 6 New episodes will be released every Thursday, and you can find us wherever you listen to podcasts.

Speaker 2 I wanted to ask your opinion on something. During the pandemic, my great friend Storm, that's right, my boy Storm.

Speaker 2 Brilliant photographer, incredible Storm.

Speaker 1 Last name Storm or first name Storm?

Speaker 2 First name Storm Santos.

Speaker 1 That's sick.

Speaker 2 He's the greatest there is. I love him.
Brilliant. I mean, he like.
photographs a lot of famous people.

Speaker 2 I remember early on in the pandemic when all the video game systems were gone because everyone knew that they were going to have to like hunker down and there were just no video game systems to be had.

Speaker 2 And so I like put up some like Instagram story about it. And my boy Storm wrote me and he's like, yo, there's actually two Nintendo Switches at my local Target.
Like I'm at Target right now.

Speaker 2 Do you want me to pick one up for you? And I was like, beautiful. Great.
Grab one. I didn't know.
I didn't know if it was the end of the world.

Speaker 2 If all I had to do was work on a Nintendo Switch and have a little bit of joy. So I tell him yes.
I send him 200 bucks on Venmo and I never ever follow up. And it's like three years later.

Speaker 2 So I'm like, I guess it's gone. But then I realized that I have a son who would love it.
Right. And I'm like, I don't know.
I'm like, let me, let me bother Storm about this.

Speaker 2 I'm like, maybe he just has it.

Speaker 2 So I text him and I'm like, three years later, you said, hey, are you still on your way from Target? Oh, fuck.

Speaker 2 He bought it. I'm like, is this just like in your closet? Cause I'll take it.
My kid would like it. What'd he say? And he goes, yeah, I have it.
Come pick it up. I was like, great.

Speaker 2 So I come pick it up because he's the greatest. And we're chatting and he hands it to me and it's great.
And I look at it. It's blue.
And I'm like, is it yellow?

Speaker 2 I go, I think the one I bought was yellow. Like the one, the photo he sent me was a yellow one, but I don't say anything because I'm like, who cares? Like, my son's colorblind.
He won't know.

Speaker 2 No, he's not. God forbid.

Speaker 2 And then, like, right as we're about to go, Storm just kind of offhandedly goes, yeah, man, that Nintendo Switch was long gone, but I felt bad. So I just bought that one.
Obviously.

Speaker 2 Am I fucked up? Did I do the wrong thing?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no. You didn't do the wrong thing.
There were wrong things done across the board. Same day.

Speaker 1 He offered to purchase a Nintendo Switch for you. You Venmoed him.
Same day?

Speaker 2 Same day.

Speaker 1 It is then his responsibility as the procurer of the Nintendo Switch to tell you a rendezvous point for the handoff of the Switch. He's received the funds.
You receive your Switch.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 1 he should have followed up. You, though, should have followed up.
You Venmo for a Nintendo Switch, and then you don't follow up at the Switch.

Speaker 1 And then three years later, in the middle of the night, you're like, eh, I wonder if Storm has my Switch. Like, of course, Storm doesn't have your Switch.
Storm re-gifted your Switch.

Speaker 1 Or used it. But what I will say, the person who really comes ahead in this, Mr.
Storm. Yes.
Mr. Storm did the right thing here.
This is right. I wonder, Josh, cost of inflation over three years.
Mr.

Speaker 1 Storm didn't pay $200 for that new Switch. He probably paid $260.

Speaker 2 No, they can't do that. What?

Speaker 2 It's not a new Switch. They didn't reconfigure it.
It's not like $20 to $40.

Speaker 1 So you're saying it's cheaper?

Speaker 2 I'm saying it was the same price.

Speaker 1 Inflation, Josh. These costs go up, up, up, up, up.

Speaker 2 You can't do it.

Speaker 2 Not on products that already exist.

Speaker 1 No, of course they do. I'm just saying, ask Storm for the receipt.
I bet you he overpaid. So really, you owe Storm like 30 bucks.

Speaker 2 I don't know. But yes, Storm.

Speaker 1 Fine. Leave it alone.

Speaker 2 Storm is the greatest. And yeah, I just, I realize in hindsight that I'm nuts.

Speaker 1 It's great, though.

Speaker 2 I love it. I love it.
No, a more normal thing,

Speaker 1 just so we know for next time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 A more normal thing.

Speaker 1 Hey, Storm, by the way, you mind vending me back that 200 bucks.

Speaker 2 Oh, that is

Speaker 2 gauche. Garish.
No. No, but you send me back 200 bucks.
Send me back 200 bucks and now you're stuck with an extra switch that you have to go return.

Speaker 1 You assume that he, if he never gave it to you, you assume that he never bought this.

Speaker 2 No, he bought it. He bought, he was.

Speaker 1 But then why wouldn't he want to give it to you? Now I'm back to it.

Speaker 2 Storm's fault. Listen, you know how people are.
You know that people are like, if you left your sunglasses at my house, I am not making it my job to get you these sunglasses.

Speaker 1 1,000%. But if you tell me to buy something for you and I paid for it with money that you sent me, I am mailing it to your house immediately.
I don't want it. It's not my property.

Speaker 2 You can't mail a Switch. It's the only way you do it.
By the way, why didn't you buy it on Amazon? That's going to be an extra $20, $25.

Speaker 1 Why didn't you make it? Why didn't you buy it on Amazon?

Speaker 2 It was a pandemic, Ben. Once in a lifetime.

Speaker 2 Everyone has to clarify.

Speaker 1 So to clarify, you needed the Switch so badly that after you venomed him $200, you forgot about it for a while.

Speaker 2 I just feel good that I had one.

Speaker 2 It is just nice to know I could.

Speaker 2 You got it.

Speaker 1 You won.

Speaker 2 It was a pandemic.

Speaker 2 And then I went to Vancouver for a year to do Turner and Ooch. I forgot about the Switch.

Speaker 1 I understand.

Speaker 2 He offered, but anyway, I got my Switch and he probably paid an extra $30 in inflationary costs. And for that, I feel terrible.

Speaker 1 What was your game of choice? Were you a video game kid growing up?

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, I played the things. I had a PS3 and a, I played Grand Theft Auto and those things, but I was never like, I was very weird.

Speaker 2 I think I was very alcoholic about the way I played games as a kid, which was I always wanted that booklet that told you how to get ahead in the game.

Speaker 2 Cheating. Cheating.
I like to cheat. I like cheat codes.
I never wanted to like struggle in the game. I wanted to fly through the thing.

Speaker 1 No, but cheat codes are fun. Like, that's why, like, I loved it.
I was also a PlayStation guy. I loved like the NBA games.
Those are my favorites.

Speaker 1 But, like, thinking back on it, like, the most fun was like an NFL Blitz or like NBA Jam where like they're literally dunking from half court.

Speaker 1 Like that's so much more fun than realistically playing with a guy.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I had friends who played like FIFA and Madden. I'm like, this is like trigonometry.
Miss me on this. I don't even know how to play.

Speaker 1 No, it's it's it

Speaker 1 in no comparison to the old school games like an NFL Blitz.

Speaker 2 Loved those. Well, there are some stories that I think would be worth us reporting on.

Speaker 2 Like in the New York Post, a man dismissed as fat and given Ozempic before doctors find 60-pound tumor in his belly.

Speaker 2 Doctors were convinced that a Norwegian man was simply fat for 12 years, but his growing belly was actually expanding with a 60-pound malignant tumor.

Speaker 2 He was diagnosed with obesity and even got prescribed Ozempic before they discovered the growth, leading to a 10-hour surgery for its removal.

Speaker 2 Thomas Kraut, 59, had the operation in Oslo after his stomach kept getting bigger and the doctors initially convinced him that he was simply overweight.

Speaker 1 Wow. Can we rename malignant?

Speaker 2 There's no way that

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, malignant sounds far too dark for being not dark.

Speaker 2 Malignant is dark. Malignant too.

Speaker 1 Can we rename benign?

Speaker 2 I was like, what?

Speaker 1 Benign sounds way too normal for being benign.

Speaker 2 Fuck. All right.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 2 I'm really sorry that he had cancer. That's not good.

Speaker 2 Benign sounds like the first part of a new shoal in town, you know, a new synagogue. Have you been to benign see the Sinai?

Speaker 2 It's wonderful.

Speaker 1 Malignant. I knew I got that wrong as I was saying it.
All right. So the guy's really fat.
Turns out to be a cancerous tumor. 10-hour surgery.
Is there any report?

Speaker 2 Is he alive yeah no he's good i mean and the upside is he's got an ozepic prescription which is not easy to get no not easy to get a 60 pound tumor that is insanity that's hectic oof oof sorry bud yeah sorry friend it's a hope you're feeling better it's amazing how easy it is for

Speaker 2 If you're not on top of it and you get, you happen to see the wrong doctor or the wrong couple doctors, like you really have to, unless you're with like people who are super specific and brilliant at what they do, you have to be your own advocate.

Speaker 2 And if you're just like, I guess, I mean, I'm not gaining weight anywhere else, but maybe they're right. Like, at what point did they not go like, like, this guy's got a pretty gaunt face?

Speaker 1 I'm trying really hard not to victim. I'm really trying really hard not to victim blame the guy with a malignant 60-pound tumor muscle.
No, more than I am.

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying the more that I think about it, how don't you know? You're right. He's chiseled to the gods.
His legs are perfect. He's ripped.
He just has a huge belly. Like, that's

Speaker 2 tumor.

Speaker 1 Unless he was pregnant, but.

Speaker 2 Well, did you know that a gym junkie's vain quest for big booty backfires with a Brazilian butt lift leaving a woman rotting from the inside out?

Speaker 2 She hit rot bottom

Speaker 2 from

Speaker 2 New York Post. Get it together.
Great.

Speaker 2 A UK gym bunny's vain quest for a dream Derrier nearly killed her after her bottom began rotting from the inside out following a botched liquid Brazilian butt lift.

Speaker 2 The decision to have butt filler completely and utterly ruined my life. Charlotte Booth, 36, told the newspaper, which it occurred in May 2023.
I was hoping. Oh, I just saw a picture of it.
Wow. Wow.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 How bad.

Speaker 1 How bad. Send it.

Speaker 2 Okay. I got you.
It's not, but it.

Speaker 2 It's on its way to bad. That's the problem.
It's stopping off at the rest stop before bad to say, let me get my energy together.

Speaker 1 Send it. Send it.
Need it.

Speaker 2 I'm sending it to you too, Olivia. Can you handle it? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, my.

Speaker 2 Oh, mama.

Speaker 2 It's a lot.

Speaker 1 For those that can't see it, it looks like mold.

Speaker 1 Like, like she, yeah, she's dying on the inside. Oh, my.

Speaker 2 Necrosis.

Speaker 2 That's a nice name, though, right? This is my son, Necrosis.

Speaker 2 That's not horrible.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 I'm just saying that thing looks malignant.

Speaker 2 Not good. Not good.
But this Brazilian butt lift, like, all you hear are bad things.

Speaker 1 It's almost as if we shouldn't be doing them, Josh.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 It's almost as if the butt wasn't meant to be that high. It's almost as if it wasn't meant to be a shelf.
Sorry, it is what it is.

Speaker 2 All right. Listen, we ask the hard questions here, and we got to be okay with it.

Speaker 1 Yes. Oof, that picture was chilling.

Speaker 2 Raccoon descends from ceiling at New York's

Speaker 2 LaGuardia Airport.

Speaker 2 A traveler at New York's LaGuardia Airport captured video when a raccoon descended from the ceiling and caused chaos at a terminal. The video posted to X by user Ahmed Anonymous.
What?

Speaker 2 That's awesome. Shows the raccoon dangling from a cord suspended from the ceiling in the marine air terminal.
Wow. No good.
Raccoon. That's all I have, though.
Raccoons are cute.

Speaker 1 Raccoons are cute. They look like little thieves.
Like, they're definitely cute. I'm with you.
Little bandits with like the eyes.

Speaker 2 They're fun.

Speaker 1 They just spent like literally $200 trillion and 15 years on LaGuardia and they already have raccoons coming from the ceilings. Like, this is a problem.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah.
This is a problem.

Speaker 2 Yes. And what happens is, like, in our house at night, sometimes my wife and I will wake up because we'll be hearing sounds on our roof.
And I'll be like, what the fuck is that?

Speaker 2 And she'll be like, there's a varmint.

Speaker 2 There's, there's a small creature on our roof walking around, like, like do doing it up and i'm like we can't get in right she's like hopefully and i'm like oh god and i'm gonna have to handle it because i'm the man you have to do something about that you have raccoons chilling on your roof could be raccoon could be a mouse could be a rat like it could it's a creature of the night could be diddy i don't know

Speaker 1 i i would move I would bug out if I heard a creature of the night on my roof.

Speaker 1 Or just get a sound machine josh or you could do my dad hates these you know the little spikes in the city that prevent pigeons from landing they make it incredibly sad that you you want to see a sad man bruce soffer staring at those spikes he's very like where do the pigeon where are the pigeons supposed to rest that said you need those spikes on your roof I'm not gonna put spikes all over my roof.

Speaker 2 I'm gonna look like I live in a penitentiary. Well,

Speaker 1 you'll solve the problem and you'll have another one.

Speaker 2 That sounds terrible.

Speaker 1 A gossipy neighbor.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't think that's going to work out for me, but I just have to deal with the fact that, I mean, my mother-in-law, the other day,

Speaker 2 they thought that they saw a mouse in her pantry. It was just a weird light trick that shined off the peanut butter-filled pretzels.
I digress.

Speaker 2 She is such like, she is so much more like outdoorsy, cool, collected than me, like cool with farm work, the whole thing. But she was like freaked out.
She's like,

Speaker 2 I'm out of here. If there's a mouse in there, and I'm like, it's a mouse.

Speaker 1 This is upbringing, Josh. This is upbringing.
I had the occasional mouse growing up. It was no big deal.
You, I'm assuming, had the occasional mouse. It's no big deal.

Speaker 2 You hoped for a mouse.

Speaker 1 If you're not, yes, as opposed to a very scary rat.

Speaker 2 A big, fat, fat rat. No, awful.

Speaker 1 awful no no them then you need to give your bed you're sleeping on the trundle if you have a big rat in there they're moving in no good but yeah claudia is petrified of the smallest mouse like oh my god like will not sleep in the apartment nothing i'm she's like what if they come on the bed i'm like what if they come on the bed they're not coming on the bed They're not.

Speaker 1 They're on the ground. We'll call an exterminator in the morning.
She is petrified.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I get.

Speaker 1 But I am petrified of rats oh my oh

Speaker 2 not good not good ng not good

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Speaker 2 Should we get to a speakpipe? Yes. If you want to leave us a message, if you want us to answer a question or give you advice, go to speakpipe.com/slash goodguys.
Keep it brief. Brevity is key.

Speaker 2 Here's one from Bailey.

Speaker 7 Hey, Ben and Josh. This is Bailey, big moron here.
I have a nuts or not nuts for you guys. I recently went to the dentist for my biannual cleaning.
And when we were done, I made my next appointment.

Speaker 7 Didn't take an appointment card because I'm from the 21st century and I put it in my Outlook.

Speaker 7 And I left and they did not give me a goodie bag. You know what I'm talking about.
The goodie bag that has the extra toothbrush, the mini toothpaste, the chapstick, the floss, the whole thing.

Speaker 7 And I felt dumb because I wasn't going to ask for a goodie bag. I'm an adult.
But am I nuts for expecting a goodie bag or are they nuts for not giving me one?

Speaker 7 I feel like dentists have trained us to receive a goodie bag after getting our biannual cleanings since we were children. And now I'm an adult and this is the first time I've never got one.

Speaker 7 So let me know. Am I nuts or are they nuts? Hope you have a great rest of your day.
Bye.

Speaker 2 What do we think?

Speaker 1 You're nuts because you're still thinking about the dental goodie bag, but but it's definitely it's it's definitely a common practice to receive a nice toothbrush, a nice small toothpaste, maybe some mouthwash, maybe some floss, but it's not that serious.

Speaker 2 I agree. I think your biggest problem, Bailey, is that you have the name of a four-year-old.
So you never grew up. Yeah, I mean, can you imagine a nine-year-old lady named Bailey? Bailey Schwartzmann.

Speaker 2 Well, Bailey has killed herself.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 it's very young, you know. What do you want her to do? Change her name?

Speaker 2 I mean, it's a little Bailey, Bailey Rothstein, you know? Bailey has Alzheimer's. That doesn't sound right.

Speaker 2 You think her last name is Eve?

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 1 You think her last name is Eve?

Speaker 2 Bailey?

Speaker 2 Bailey?

Speaker 2 It's so dumb.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I know what you mean.

Speaker 2 Bailey broke her hip. It doesn't track.

Speaker 2 Bailey is incontinent. You know, Bailey needs to be in the middle of the moment.

Speaker 1 I guess if we're ripping this hypothetical Bailey,

Speaker 2 when she...

Speaker 2 When she said,

Speaker 1 I didn't take the appointment card because it's the 21st century. I put it in my Outlook.

Speaker 1 It's like saying because it's in the 21st century. I put it in my PC.

Speaker 2 I put it in my palm pilot.

Speaker 2 Oh, Bailey, you're awesome.

Speaker 2 We're just fooling because of your name.

Speaker 1 We're just goofing. You're great, Bailey.
You're great.

Speaker 2 Bailey, God bless you. I'm sorry.
You deserve better. And I think if you ask, they'll give it to you.
They ask me after cleaning, but they kind of like look at me like, do you want it?

Speaker 2 And I'll be like, yes, what am I going to say? No. And it's never great.
It's bad.

Speaker 1 It's usually a small toothbrush and a small, it's like travel size. Right.
I don't need that. Also, honestly, I'm now thinking about it.
It's almost insulting to get that goodie bag on the way out.

Speaker 1 You think I don't have a toothbrush?

Speaker 2 Well, and it's just like. The idea that the only toothbrush you're getting is every six months at the dentist.
And I really like my dentist, but she's not springing for the good ones.

Speaker 1 How often do you replace your toothbrush, Josh?

Speaker 2 I happen to have a sonic hair, which changed my life. I was not an electric toothbrush guy.
Wow. But I am

Speaker 2 so wealthy. Whoa.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Way to just drop your bag of gold.

Speaker 2 I have an electric toothbrush.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 2 And I,

Speaker 2 and I have an espresso. I'm sorry.
I'm doing well. And what happens is it'll beep every three months when you need a new brush head, which, ooh, by the way, I need to buy more.

Speaker 2 So I change every three months, but it's an incredible machine. I'm a big oral bee guy.

Speaker 1 Just a classic. Yeah, I use a regular toothbrush, replace it, I don't know, once every two months, I think.
I'll get a new toothbrush. I just like the firm bristle.

Speaker 1 There's nothing worse than a soft bristle.

Speaker 1 My weddie and nuts, I'm sure it's been one before, when you go to one of those those hotels and they have the eco-friendly toothbrushes and literally it's like soft horse hair and you're just like mushing it against your teeth, but there's, there's no, there, like, there's no friction.

Speaker 2 No good.

Speaker 2 And who am I telling you? You're clearly the dental professional of the three of us. And Olivia, feel free to weigh in here, but don't they always tell you soft bristles? Don't they?

Speaker 2 Don't they, Olivia?

Speaker 4 I feel like there's something. If you use the hard bristles, I think it's bad for your enamel.

Speaker 1 or gums yeah your gums it can make your gum bleed but I'm in the same way with you Ben I got to have a like a tough bristle otherwise I feel like my teeth don't get as clean let's clarify okay I'm not talking about like like needles I'm talking about firm enough bristle to remove plaque but the soft one does not bad for the tooth no the soft one does nothing

Speaker 1 nothing it's terrible sometimes I'll use the back if I'm at a if I'm at a hotel and the bristles that soft, sometimes I'll just use the back and I'll rub the wood on my teeth.

Speaker 2 Tell me, what do you think of the health and wellness people who say all you need is to brush your teeth? You don't need toothpaste.

Speaker 1 I say that you don't care what other people think of your breath because

Speaker 1 there's two things that you're accomplishing. Because I've had this thought, Josh.
There are two things that you're accomplishing when you brush your teeth with toothpaste.

Speaker 1 One is your health and two is your human decency for others. If you're only concerned with your health, then you don't need toothpaste, I don't think.

Speaker 1 If you're concerned with the human decency of others and want to have a conversation in close proximity to me, then you're going to need your breath not to smell like the inside of your mouth.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 That's what I think. But do I think that toothpaste actually helps clean your teeth? I don't.
I don't.

Speaker 2 But I do. Listen, I'm Freddy Fluoridated.
Like, I go, I'm fluoride forward, babe. I believe in it.
I'm with it. Throw it in the water.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, I've been, I've had too much fluoride. I hope everything I read is that fluoride's bad.
I've had so much fluoride, Josh. My parents gave me fluoride treatment on my teeth.

Speaker 2 That's probably why I can't remember anything. No, we all,

Speaker 2 we all get that.

Speaker 2 And if you want, there's a great episode of my friend's podcast, the Jordan Harbinger show, and he does something called skeptical Sundays, where he'll like debunk timeshares or fluoride or like all these things that, or like hydrotherapy.

Speaker 2 That's when I found out that this whole eight glasses a day thing was a crock.

Speaker 2 But he did one on fluoride, and it was fascinating because overwhelmingly, fluoride, a big positive. From what, if you, from what I took away from the podcast, is it's like

Speaker 2 oral health has been improved dramatically from fluoride. Can you overdo?

Speaker 2 Of course.

Speaker 2 But that's everything.

Speaker 1 I think we're in a generation, though, where we may have overdone it. We plastered it on our teeth in a coating that just stayed with us forever.

Speaker 2 I don't think so. I think you do that treatment when you're a kid and it like lasts a bit.
It's like a sealant.

Speaker 1 All I know is I've never gotten a cavity.

Speaker 2 That's right, brother.

Speaker 1 That's right. All I've gotten is brain damage.

Speaker 2 I'm telling you.

Speaker 2 Okay, here's another one from...

Speaker 1 My parents were thrilled we're gonna make sure your son never has cavities but also is half his brain

Speaker 2 i'm pretty sure that happened me too where do i where do i sign up

Speaker 2 let's listen to lily

Speaker 7 hi josh and ben huge moron i love you guys so much questions love you lily i was a long distance with my boyfriend for about three years and he just moved to dallas for law school so i decided to join him now i found my own place and got a roommate because i thought I could make friends better that way, but the move is really hard.

Speaker 7 And I just moved from a place where I had a lot of friends and I really love my job and I just started a job that I absolutely hate. I need your advice.
What do I do?

Speaker 7 Do I lean in and try to make the most of it or can I move back to where I was much happier? Thanks. Love you guys so much.
I've been so lonely here.

Speaker 7 I go on walks and listen to you guys and it feels like we're all having a conversation. Okay, bye.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, folks. This is how you leave a fucking speak pipe.
Lily, I'm going cry. I love you.

Speaker 2 I love you. That I love you.
Let go, Josh.

Speaker 1 Yes, good. That said, Lily, you're fucking up.
Okay. You've been dating a guy for three years.
You move for him and you're not moving in with him. That's right.
This is not good, Lily.

Speaker 1 This is not good. And I'm telling you this because we, we love you.
You are, you're, you sound amazing. And you don't move for someone.
You've been together that long and move in with a friend.

Speaker 1 Shit or get off the pot. Say to, say to him, you shouldn't shouldn't have other things to do.
It shouldn't be your responsibility to find new friends in a new city. You move for your boyfriend.

Speaker 1 He should be introducing you to his friends.

Speaker 1 He should be including you. Like, this is no good.
No good.

Speaker 2 First off, let me say, Dallas rips. I have never seen more

Speaker 2 buffets and more urgent cares in one metropolitan area. They want you to get fat, fat, fat, and get antibiotics.
Easy, babe. Dallas is the shit.
And so there's a, it's a great city.

Speaker 2 You didn't move to a bad city, but I couldn't agree with you more. You said it perfectly, Ben.
You've been together three years.

Speaker 2 I could understand if it was like three months and you were like on your stocky era and you just like moved to a boy's town who you just met because you wanted to be closer to him.

Speaker 2 But it's three years.

Speaker 2 You're having a rough time because you guys should be living together, which would totally change the dynamic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is actually a very strange story. And I don't want to like ruin things, Lily, but like the guy, this is no good.

Speaker 1 This is a red flag to me that he let you move here and you're not living together is weird i we also josh don't know how old they are this maybe 20s is it possible that they're really really really young is it possible that lily's like 20 in law school oh true he's in law school i mean she could okay i don't know but then she would be it's i olivia talk you

Speaker 4 okay well actually so ethan moved to la first and then i moved about a year later and we didn't end up moving in together.

Speaker 4 And we had been together for three years at that point, but it was for a similar reason because like I'd never lived somewhere other than Cincinnati, shout out.

Speaker 4 And so I wanted to like kind of build my own life, but he very much included me in everything and I didn't have to like struggle to make friends and, you know, was able to like build my own life, but also like be very much included in his.

Speaker 4 And we live like a mile from each other.

Speaker 4 So I'm not necessarily like as freaked out by that immediately, but I do think it's really important to like be included in each other's communities and you know feel supported because that is like a huge move.

Speaker 4 And if you've been together that long, you know, you need to feel like secure and safe there. So I don't know.
It sounded too like maybe he just moved there. So I don't know.

Speaker 4 But yeah, because if he just started law school, it might have been, you know, but still, like,

Speaker 4 I think they could probably use a little bit of more time together.

Speaker 2 I can imagine.

Speaker 1 I just googled euthanasia near me.

Speaker 1 I apologize.

Speaker 1 Clearly there are other people that are going through this and maybe it's not that strange.

Speaker 1 But on first reaction I thought it was quite odd. Clearly there are ways where it's not odd because Ethan is fantastic and I'm sure that this situation is no different.

Speaker 2 And what I also have to say is don't let this boyfriend of yours gaslight you that law school is taking up so much of his time. He's not at Georgetown, you're in Dallas.

Speaker 2 He's probably gonna be in person, he's gonna be an ambulance chaser, he's gonna be personal injury.

Speaker 2 So, what

Speaker 2 he doesn't need to get all A's. Listen, you want to know, you want to know what a lawyer is called who got all D's in law school? A lawyer, that's what they're called: a lawyer, bingo, bingo,

Speaker 2 bingo, yes,

Speaker 2 totally. Hey, have you ever been part of a class action lawsuit?

Speaker 2 I wish.

Speaker 2 It'll be Ozempic.

Speaker 2 I don't know when that people be Ozempic.

Speaker 2 Title.

Speaker 1 I'll be involved for sure. I'll be 60 with one foot

Speaker 1 and like, but skinny.

Speaker 2 Ooh, baby. Skinny.
You'll be negative buckle fat.

Speaker 2 Your cheeks will just be like

Speaker 2 black and like dark matter. Hello.
Let's see one more question from Adeline.

Speaker 7 Howdy, Josh and Ben. Adeline here.

Speaker 7 I have had the opportunity to nurse my baby daughter for a number of months, and I have decided to donate my excess breast milk.

Speaker 7 And so recently I had someone reach out and said, hey, I noticed that you are a milk donor. You know, a great way to continue giving back? Become a surrogate.
Which leads me to my question.

Speaker 7 With love and male opinion, how would you guys feel about your wives becoming a surrogate and if you had the opportunity to carry and birth a child would you and what's your price thanks so much look forward to hearing from y'all olivia

Speaker 2 oh my god you don't have to answer olivia

Speaker 2 What the hell? No pressure.

Speaker 1 Do I want to be a surrogate? And how much am I charging for somebody to suck on my teeth for life?

Speaker 2 Like, I don't know. She's asking just surrogate.
She's not asking for if you're a child.

Speaker 2 She's not asking for me to be a midwife.

Speaker 2 You would be like the goat milk of mother's milk.

Speaker 1 I would be a thousand, literally $1,000 an hour would be how much I'd charge for my golden breast milk.

Speaker 1 So that wasn't what she was asking. She was asking, if I could carry a child, would I carry a child?

Speaker 2 No, would you be a surrogate for someone and how much would you charge? And how would you feel about your wife being a surrogate?

Speaker 1 Isn't a surrogate holding the child?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Oh, you cute kid. You're cute.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 2 A surrogate is... So traditionally, what it is, is that you have a egg from...

Speaker 2 Yeah, and you implant it in the surrogate. Yeah, you implant it in the surrogate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I'm the one holding it. That's what I said.

Speaker 2 Holding it. Carrying it.
Forcing it.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Okay.
I was right. You, you over there.
No, I wasn't holding it in the palm of my hand like a baseball. I was holding it in my belly.

Speaker 2 Yes, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Just combined. Okay.

Speaker 2 To just hold the baby.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I was like, do I not know what a circle is? Almost gaslit me.

Speaker 2 I was like, holy shit. You gaslit yourself.

Speaker 1 So is the question, if I could carry somebody's child, would I?

Speaker 2 Yes. And how much would you charge? Okay.

Speaker 1 If somebody really close to me needed it and they couldn't do it themselves, I'd like to think that I would. I probably wouldn't.
There's no price. I'm out.

Speaker 2 You're out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't want to do it.

Speaker 1 The emotional connection to having a child and then needing to give them up and going through nine months of that.

Speaker 2 But it's not even remotely yours, remember. It's not your, there's no part of you.
You are just the home.

Speaker 1 You probably still feel a connection to the baby coming out of your vijage.

Speaker 2 But it's, I would imagine, and I can't speak. Olivia, feel free to jump in.

Speaker 4 My mom was a surrogate for my aunt, actually, which is how

Speaker 2 my little cousin is here. Just

Speaker 2 kill me. You have too much life experience.
You have too much life experience.

Speaker 2 God,

Speaker 2 I'm so glad I didn't answer first. I can't do it.
Olivia,

Speaker 2 this is incredible.

Speaker 2 Olivia is

Speaker 2 a mad genius dog. She let us answer first.

Speaker 2 And then she slid in with, I didn't live with Ethan right away.

Speaker 2 My aunt had someone's kid. I don't know who, what she just said, but we're wrong.

Speaker 2 We screwed up.

Speaker 4 No, I think actually Ben's point was right. Like my mom didn't do it for any money.
She just did it because my aunt had cervical cancer and like couldn't carry a child of her own.

Speaker 4 But they like moved her ovaries up so she still had eggs and they were able to like save them.

Speaker 4 And then my aunt went, or my mom, when she found out that she could have kids and had me, then she's like, oh, I can, you know, carry a, a baby for you. So, you know, same kind of thing.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 That is, that is beautiful. What a beautiful story.
But so, yeah, I was right. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I agree. I think it's like got to be like donating a kidney.
Like if I'm, if I can avoid it,

Speaker 2 I'm not doing it. I'm certainly not doing it for money.
But if someone I love needs it, then I'm certainly going to consider it.

Speaker 1 I think so. Otherwise, your price, if you're planning on making this a career, right?

Speaker 2 Like, which I think people

Speaker 2 do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, which people do. It would just need to be the cost of like two years salary because you'd need a year where you're just pregnant.

Speaker 1 But then you want a year to actually more than that because your post, three years salary would be what I'd charge.

Speaker 2 But salary, where? A Chick-fil-A or Google? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah.
Could be 180K, could be 1.8.

Speaker 1 Totally.

Speaker 2 Should we get to our what are you nuts?

Speaker 1 Yeah. We're nuts, by the way.

Speaker 2 We're nuts.

Speaker 1 But yes, we should.

Speaker 2 We are nuts. Get out of that head of yours.
It's a great episode. Once I stitch it together.

Speaker 1 No, it's an amazing episode. I'm just saying we're nuts.

Speaker 2 That's all. Our what are you nuts moment of the week is our gripes with people, places, and things, whatever is currently sticking in our crop, good or bad.
We write them down during the week.

Speaker 2 And mine this week is, you know, recently I've noticed, you know, I love to pick up food.

Speaker 2 I am a big, I will use the apps, but I will pick up myself because that $30 extra fee for me to drive a mile, no big deal. I'm happy to do it.

Speaker 2 But I have noticed, and I give this question to the group here.

Speaker 2 that people have become really shitty at restaurants to people coming to pick up food because they assume that they work for DoorDash or like they're dealing with people like it's become a true industry now it's not just like pick up and take out like like I imagine that it's it's added a lot of business to many restaurants but now when I go in to go pick up my food they look at me like what's the name on the order like can I have a listen can we have a moment here what are you nuts I am I'm not you know we don't all work for the food delivery companies but also maybe be nice to them too I don't know I don't know these door dash drivers but kind of made me think woody nuts.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, there's multiple woody nuts is in there. Number one, be nice to the fucking DoorDash drivers, okay? It's a hard-ass job.
And for sure.

Speaker 1 And two, be nice to Joshi, who just spent $250 on a very mediocre steak that he's going to bring home. Be nice.

Speaker 2 Okay. I'm at CPK.
I just bought like 13 apps. You know, pay it forward.

Speaker 1 Also, can you, also, can we make delivery food good again? Like, can that, can that happen? Like, it's not good anymore. Like, every time I order in, the food's getting worse and worse and worse.

Speaker 1 And then I go to a restaurant for the same food and I'm remembering how much better the food can taste. I'm just saying, takeout's going downhill, Josh.

Speaker 1 I think it's just too, it's too, like, too many people are doing it, and they just can't keep up. I don't know if you have that same experience, but my takeout's been terrible lately.

Speaker 2 Preach on it. If anyone can do it, Trump can.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Make food good again. Okay, my what are you nuts is I picked up a couple slices of pizza.
Me and Claudia. We were having a chill night.
Isn't that nice when you can just pick up a couple of slices?

Speaker 2 A couple slice.

Speaker 1 I'm eating a slice on my walk home. That's a whatey in nuts for me, but that's the way that I operate.
I can't hold food. I can't hold food and not eat it.
I can't hold food and not eat it. Either.

Speaker 2 It's not possible.

Speaker 2 I need a snack for my walk. Of course.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's my what of you nuts, but my second what are you nuts?

Speaker 2 Pounding in the face on third avenue.

Speaker 2 Holding the box like this and the pip the slice like this. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 I'm walking down the street, and there's a woman who passes by, and she's like, How can you be eating that in front of me? I'm on my way to the gym. Now all I want is pizza.

Speaker 1 Hey, lady, what are you, nuts? I don't know you. Why are you talking to me? Like, what do you think? I owe you something?

Speaker 1 I shouldn't be eating on the street because you, stranger, are going to the gym.

Speaker 2 I was so floored.

Speaker 1 Like, what?

Speaker 2 What are you, nuts?

Speaker 1 People are so weird.

Speaker 2 People are so

Speaker 1 strange.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Keep it to yourself.

Speaker 2 I hope that lady had an awful workout.

Speaker 1 She probably, I hope she went and got a whole pie of pizza and gained 80 pounds and is just like a fat, fat fuck.

Speaker 2 I hope she pinched a nerve.

Speaker 2 I hope she tried CrossFit and blew out her knee. Okay, take us home.

Speaker 1 And that, folks, is our show.

Speaker 1 As always, rate us five stars. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Listen to us on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 2 Share our clips, TikTok, we're blowing up.

Speaker 1 Instagram, it's fantastic. Mondays and Thursdays, folks.
Oh, and don't forget to watch us on Josh's YouTube, of course. And Mondays and Thursdays, folks.
We'll see you next time.

Speaker 8 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Speaker 8 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.