WE'RE HAVING A BABY!

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Speaker 1 The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. I'm Josh Peck, and I'm Ben Soffer.
And we're the good guys.

Speaker 4 There's a lot of guys out there, and we're the the good ones.

Speaker 4 Mazemorans, welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast. I'm sitting here with a father-to-be.
It's Ben Soffer.

Speaker 1 Simon Tova, Mazotova, Mazzotova, Mazmantova, Simantova. Simon Tova, Mazzotova, Mazotova, Simantova, Simon Tova, Mazzotova, Mazzotova, Simon Toby, Halanu.

Speaker 1 I should have been a cantor. Totally.
We should have been cantors, the canter guides. guides.
But yes, insane news. I don't even know what to say.
Like, yes, God willing, I'm going to be a father.

Speaker 1 And it is like, honestly, like a dream come true.

Speaker 1 Like, I feel like everybody has been asking, like, my, my entire life, because I've been with my wife my entire life, like, when are you having a baby? You've been married for seven years.

Speaker 1 And they say that you like can't time these things, but like, we, we took our time. It's when it felt right.
And I'm like, the most excited I've ever been for something.

Speaker 1 And to be able to host the podcast with somebody that I love, that loves his kids, that is a great dad. Like, I don't know.
I just feel like we're going to transform.

Speaker 1 We're going to transform from the good guys to the good dads.

Speaker 4 The good dads. What? Okay.
So take us, start us in the process. Let's go from the beginning.
Yes. What were the conversations? When did we start? What did it look like? The people want to know.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 we started like really talking about it at the beginning of the year. And we were like, this is something that we want to do.
We're not exactly sure when. We're not exactly sure how.

Speaker 1 Like the, like, what's crazy to me is this idea that people all over the place are just getting pregnant by accident. Like, it's hard as hell.

Speaker 1 Like, you have a very finite window to be able to shoot your load. I I don't want to overdo it, but like you're very finite too late.
You did.

Speaker 1 You were not graceful without one to come in the pussy. You have a very short window.
You have a small window to bust in your hoe.

Speaker 1 And like these people are just like doing it by accident. And these women are like in the bathroom and they like think they're taking a shit and they have a baby.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know if that's a wives tale, but like this idea that you can get pregnant and be pregnant and have no idea is insanity. It's complete insanity.
So we started thinking about it.

Speaker 1 We really started trying over the summer and yeah, struck gold.

Speaker 1 And I don't think that we're officially saying how many weeks, but we are progressing and we are expecting a beautiful baby soffer at some point. So

Speaker 1 we're really excited, really excited. It's really scary, man.
We spoke about this last night. Like, it's scary.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's just because I'm like a neurotic Jew, but like the idea of like talking about something that is actively happening, but hasn't happened yet is very scary.

Speaker 1 That whole like, don't count your chickens before they hatch. Like, I don't know how you're just like only excited.
I'm so, so unbelievably scared. And God willing, everything looks good.

Speaker 1 And you're going to hear me say, thank God. I'm turning into a rabbi.
Like, this is it. Like, I'm thank God with everything.
Right. Everything now.
Everything.

Speaker 1 I'm like, this doctor's appointment was great. Thank God.
Thank God. BH, like Baruch Hashem.
Like, it's so scary. And I don't know, like, were you scared?

Speaker 1 I was scared. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I mean, look, the Jews, we are wild with the amount of

Speaker 4 nerves and, you know, where it was superstition that happened. I mean,

Speaker 4 my buddy Len, his mother, Silva, God rest her soul, like literally did not acknowledge that his wife was pregnant till the baby was here.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Wouldn't even talk about it. Was like, you're having a baby shower, poo, poo, poo, unacceptable.

Speaker 4 Just because like literally, we don't do up, we don't, what, we don't make nurseries, like we don't do anything until the baby has arrived.

Speaker 1 No, we don't receive gifts. Like Claudia's email was just flooded with like every baby company on the planet.

Speaker 1 And it's like, we don't want to receive anything until we're so much further along or the baby is here. It doesn't take not like nine months to build a nursery.
Okay.

Speaker 1 We're not hiring these Fakakta construction workers that work at LaGuardia on a 10-year project. You could build a nursery in two days.

Speaker 1 Like the whole, the whole prep thing to me, it's just a bad omen. I don't like it.
And I'm with Sylvia. Sylvia or Sylvie, regardless.
I'm with Sylvia.

Speaker 1 Like I, if I, if I wasn't so public, I wouldn't be so public. But we're here.
We're here.

Speaker 1 So now I just got to learn to live with the really incredible blessing that is coming and also managing my nerves in the process.

Speaker 1 Not to make it all about myself, which it isn't, which is why, in case you're watching on Josh's YouTube, I am wearing a beautiful shirt with my wife's face on it because this isn't about me, okay?

Speaker 1 I'm going to make it about me this episode for the views, but it's not about me. It's about her.

Speaker 4 It's about you right now, Ben. Listen, Claudia is having her tour right now.
It's working. She got like a million Patreon followers out of this.
It's about the good guys getting a little fallout.

Speaker 4 Please.

Speaker 1 We need

Speaker 4 no this is joy this is timeless we're bringing joy back

Speaker 1 this is literally an emergency episode if i look sweaty it's because i ran here from the gym i'm wearing claudia's merch because it's what was in the studio other than my gym t-shirt like we sprinted here we're like we gotta capitalize three days late So good.

Speaker 4 So good. Literally, Ben was texting me last night and we were talking about how we failed to capitalize on this big news.

Speaker 4 and i said nothing is more us than failing to capitalize on the biggest layup ever

Speaker 1 i hope you guys loved listening to our thoughts on the election this past monday two weeks late

Speaker 4 can i share with you then or can i share with the audience when the first time you told me that you and claudia were open to trying

Speaker 4 Or yes, kind of beginning. Yeah.
We were, I think it was, you were in LA

Speaker 1 and we were on a hike and it was beautiful.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 I just remember you looking at me and you said, you know, we have some news. And I said, okay.
And

Speaker 1 Ben goes, I've begun to

Speaker 4 complete inside of Claudia.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I was like, oh my God.

Speaker 4 You were like,

Speaker 1 we are, we are trying to conceive and it's very exciting. And I said, it is that visual, less exciting, but the fact that you're trying, very exciting.
I probably looked like this.

Speaker 4 It's so intimate, isn't it?

Speaker 1 It's so intimate.

Speaker 1 It's beautiful and then it's heavily rehearsed. Like,

Speaker 1 I don't know if, like, I feel like girls are always talking about pregnancy pregnancy journeys and guys aren't, but boy, oh, boy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, tell us about it, Betty.

Speaker 1 We got a specific amount of time. That's the way that it works, folks.
If you're just shtupping every day of the month, you're not going to get pregnant.

Speaker 1 If you're shtupping during the very specific period of time where the woman is ovulating, then you have a chance and it's timed, right? Like you only have a certain number of hours to get it done.

Speaker 1 And I'm not going to lie, from a male perspective, sometimes it's difficult to wrap your head around it. Like, sometimes

Speaker 1 you're not ready, and you got to psych yourself up and get ready. And thankfully, I was able to.

Speaker 1 I won't divulge more.

Speaker 4 I won't divulge more. I'm always ready.

Speaker 1 Are you kidding me? Please.

Speaker 1 Okay, you're always ready. What about a full carbon meal? Me and you go to carbon, okay? Yes.
You go to carbon. We're getting the bread basket.
We're getting the chicken parm. We're getting the pasta.

Speaker 1 We're getting the steaks.

Speaker 1 We're getting the delicious dessert at the end. Maybe a cheesecake to make sure you're a little bit gassy.
And then those beautiful tri-color

Speaker 1 cookies. The rainbow cookies.
Yes. And then Paige calls you and says, Josh, I need you.
Yes. No, you can't do it on its stomach like that.

Speaker 4 I would be fine, but I would just be like, there will be toots involved.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Josh, one toot, moment's over.
Then good luck getting Jimmy back in the saddle, okay? When that moment's over, good luck getting him to ride that horse again.

Speaker 4 I call him James. I use the classic name, not Jimmy.

Speaker 1 I don't do the abbreviation. Not Jimmy.
Not Jimmy. I call him Hans.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 Hans duo.

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Speaker 4 Yeah, it's it's funny.

Speaker 4 If you over the summer at any time saw Ben going 110 miles per hour on the Long Island Expressway back from one of our recordings, it's because Claudia told him that she was in heat.

Speaker 1 You ever saw me sprinting, literally 140.

Speaker 1 So true.

Speaker 1 It's so beautiful. Yeah, it's beautiful.
I actually can't wait. Like, I know,

Speaker 1 and you like, ground me if you disagree. I know you don't agree.
Like, I was so born to be a dad. Like, I so cannot wait.
I have such an amazing relationship with my parents. Thank God.

Speaker 1 And I just know what it's like to be in a loving home. And I cannot wait to give this baby, like, literally the ride of a lifetime.
Like I cannot wait. I am so excited.

Speaker 1 People think I'm insane the way that I love and treat my pets. Like if I can take even like the smallest bit of that into an actual child,

Speaker 1 I'm making an Albert Einstein. By the way,

Speaker 1 if they're stupid, I'm going to kill myself. They can't be stupid, right? They have to be smart.

Speaker 4 Hopefully they are pretty and stupid. That's ideal.

Speaker 1 Are you kidding me? What do you want it to know? No, we actually, we don't want too smart. We want gorgeous

Speaker 1 and just, just a tight, a tiny bit dumb.

Speaker 4 Tiny brilliant and a rat face.

Speaker 1 No, thanks. No, that probably know it all.
No interest. No, no, I don't want that.
You're so right.

Speaker 1 I don't want like a Sheldon Cooper or like Einstein or I guess even a Musk, even though that would be pretty cool. He could take care of us.

Speaker 1 If I give birth to an Elon Musk, 350 billion, 5 billion right to you.

Speaker 4 Thank you.

Speaker 4 No, let me get in at the ground level. I'll invest.
You know, the thing with your kid that you'll see is that

Speaker 4 you'll have no idea of exactly how they're going to come out. That's the one thing I always say.

Speaker 4 And I don't think you're like this when parents go, oh, they're going to be a soccer star, or they're going to be an academic, or I'm going to get them into Harvard or blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 4 I'm like, you have no idea what your kid's going to be.

Speaker 4 And I think I truly believe that we as parents, it's our job to react to what they show to us is their passion, is their, the thing that they're, their proclivity, and to like honor that thing and to make them the best version of how they come out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I think that because we're both such big self-starters, like very entrepreneurial in nature, like this idea of you can only be good at one thing.
is so absent-minded.

Speaker 1 Like you truly can be great at whatever you want to be great at. Of course, physical gifts aside, right? Like you can't be great and be an NBA player if you're 5'6,

Speaker 1 little Jewish. No, of course not.
But like anything else, you really, I think it's just having parents from a very young age make sure that you know that you can do whatever you set your mind to.

Speaker 1 So I totally agree with you.

Speaker 4 I'm going to start giving you unsolicited advice in this podcast, and it's not going to stop until the beautiful baby is here.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 4 The best advice advice I ever got, because now that the world knows, and I'm sure you've already gotten it.

Speaker 1 Who gave it to you? What celebrity?

Speaker 4 Jeff Garland.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
Knew it. From Curvy Enthusiasm.

Speaker 4 Shout out, Jeff. And I was, I remember I was, I was about to have my son Max and I was just lamenting some neurotic thing about what was going to happen and how I was going to react.

Speaker 4 And he goes, let me stop you right there. He goes, you have no idea what kind of kid you're going to have.

Speaker 4 You have no idea if they're going to be a little colicky if they're gonna have this if they're gonna have that if they're gonna sleep really well right away or not sleep at all he's like all you need to know is that it's gonna be great

Speaker 4 it's gonna be so great and any minor inconvenience like lack of sleep which happens or the fact that you can't do brunch as often is gonna be so overshadowed by how great it is and that's what i always tell new parents because i think people get like some have like a weird fetish for freaking out new parents and being like, sleep now.

Speaker 4 You're never going to sleep again.

Speaker 1 Like, shut up.

Speaker 1 So dumb. I even have friends that like treat, treat like the last days almost like a bachelor party.
They're like, I'll never be able to see my friends again.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to go and like go on as many golf trips as I can. And it's like, you'll see your friends again.
Relax. You'll probably see your friends more if your friends also have kids.

Speaker 1 But, like, life goes on, and life to exactly what you just said, it's beautiful. And I really, I'm very, very ready and very, very excited.

Speaker 1 Everybody's been wondering why are Claudia and I on such a diner kick? We go to three diners a weekend. This is why.

Speaker 1 Because Claudia is really, really excited to leave the house around 9, 10 in the morning, and then really, really excited to be back in the house at 1 p.m.

Speaker 1 And our weekends are very cozy. Like our weekends are movies and hanging and talking.
And it's,

Speaker 1 we're so ready. We're so ready.

Speaker 4 Nesting.

Speaker 1 Love it.

Speaker 1 We're heavily nesting. Everybody's like, where are your final trips going to be? Like, I took my, I've taken, I've traveled.
Like, it's great. Like, I don't know, maybe we'll go for

Speaker 1 a week to Florida or something. But like this whole idea of like this big final trip again, like, no, like, I will travel again.
I will travel with this baby.

Speaker 1 Like, maybe not like the points guy style. Like, Brian is slinging Dean to San Trope, which I wish I could.

Speaker 4 Brian's on another level.

Speaker 1 It's unbelievable. I know.
Unbelievable. But this idea that your life is over,

Speaker 1 it's those same stupid guys that feel that way about getting married. Like, then why the hell are you getting married? Why are you having a kid? And why are you getting married? This is growth.

Speaker 1 It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be exciting.
It's supposed to be better, filled with purpose. It's all going to be great.

Speaker 4 I find like

Speaker 4 as people with a certain level of privilege and access to, you know, working on ourselves and methodologies and all the things that people do, like of the modern era, right?

Speaker 4 Like you work on yourself and you become like the best, hopefully the best version of you as a single person.

Speaker 4 But then you enter a relationship.

Speaker 4 And your spouse or your partner forces you to grow more because now you're seeing seeing yourself reflected through them and you're seeing things you could have never seen on your own.

Speaker 4 And that pressure is pushing you in which to grow and to change because you have to accommodate this person that you love.

Speaker 4 And then I feel like that hits a ceiling and then you have a kid and then the both of you are reflected through that kid. And it forces more growth and makes you have to be even more of a,

Speaker 4 you know, just of like a fully formed human being. And I'm, I'm kind of in on the whole process.

Speaker 4 Like I always tell my wife, like, if I was on, you know, Chicago Med or, you know, law and order, Poughkeepsie, I'm like, I would just have, I would just have a gang of kids, like seven, eight kids, go to my nine to five, have just

Speaker 4 a compound, a soccer team.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.
And I know that we're both big words of affirmation guys. We love it from our wives.

Speaker 1 Like Claudia recently, like, of course, like you're going to have, you're going to have some mood swings during this time period. Oh, who? Claudia? No, not her.
Somebody else.

Speaker 1 Not my wife. Oh, please.
My wife.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
But then after that, like, she'll look at me and it's so sincere. And it's just like, I love you so much.
You're going to be such an unbelievable dad. And like those.

Speaker 1 words, I can't explain it. It's like heaven on earth.
Heaven on earth.

Speaker 4 It's so true.

Speaker 4 And i think we're allowed to say what we just said and also in the same breath be like yeah it's it is really hard being like the the partner to the person who is creating life in their stomach like it is so i remember once it's six months of being pregnant my wife goes i can't really breathe It's because the baby was resting on her diaphragm and she couldn't breathe the next four months.

Speaker 4 So yes, there are certainly moments, but the truth is, is they are doing such a Herculean task.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 4 You just suck it up and you call me, babe. You call me.

Speaker 1 Suck it up. No, I don't even need to, I'm in such like a good headspace.
Like, I know, I know what's going on. Like, I'm fine with it.
Like, I really just,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 it's more than a Herculean effort. I can't even believe it.
Like, we went to a doctor's appointment recently. a doctor's appointment and like I could see the baby being formed.

Speaker 1 Like the first doctor's appointments, you're going and they're like a pile of mush. And then, like, as you start to see things, you see a heartbeat, you see

Speaker 1 a hand. You're like, oh my God, this is like

Speaker 1 in you.

Speaker 1 Like, it's, it's in your belly. It's insanity.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, I have hands in my belly, but they're like chicken or like

Speaker 1 you just sonogram my belly and there's a neck, but it's like a horse neck.

Speaker 4 It's just a big Popeye spillboard.

Speaker 4 Come on in, the biscuits are fresh.

Speaker 1 Is that an ankle? No, it's a chicken bone. Oh my God.

Speaker 4 Olivia, what do you think of all this?

Speaker 2 I'm sitting back here just like on the verge of tears. It is like so beautiful and exciting to hear like, I don't know, it's just such, I mean, how do you even begin to describe it?

Speaker 2 It's such an incredible, life-changing event. And I'm just so excited to, to see you become a father.
And I feel really honored to like be a part of the show too, as this is happening.

Speaker 1 Thank you. And I would be remiss not to mention that I did get a text yesterday, a mazle from Marshall.

Speaker 4 A Marshall Mazzle.

Speaker 1 Marshall did reach out and he said, Mazzletov, I made a huge mistake. I hate it over here.

Speaker 1 I'm just kidding. Just the Mazzle.
He doesn't hate it. We don't talk about work.
We don't talk about work. We're not allowed.
No, we don't talk about anything. We're not an injunction currently.

Speaker 1 We don't talk about anything. Nothing.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I did get a nice text from Marshall and a million other people, but the good guys listeners should know. Marshall,

Speaker 1 he's rooting for us. Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 It's so wonderful.

Speaker 4 I'm a big fan of having

Speaker 4 these little jerks, these little humans. And it's all going to be great.
And

Speaker 4 I don't know if you guys are going to find out the gender. You probably will.
But

Speaker 4 my wife and I, we don't find out, right?

Speaker 4 So then you have to spend every visit, which, as you know, towards the end becomes once a week sometimes, telling the person who's going to do the ultrasound if it's not, because eventually they have people come in, text different people.

Speaker 4 It's not always your doctor. So they don't know.
So you have to be like, we don't want to know the sex. We don't want to know the sex.
Yeah. And every time they've given it away.

Speaker 4 Every time there's been a random nurse who's been like, are you going to do a circumcision?

Speaker 1 And I go,

Speaker 1 oh, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's like, if it's a boy. And I'm like, you ruined it.

Speaker 1 That's terrible. Yeah, I'm sure that we will want to find out at some point, but knowing us, we'll want to do like a big gender reveal.

Speaker 4 Oh, no. Don't start a fire.

Speaker 1 You know us. Why? Why not? Yes.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 we'll figure that out. But yeah, don't want to know just yet.
It's funny that you brought up the text. I'll save it, but my what are you nuts of these techs, okay?

Speaker 1 Honestly, it's the whole ultrasound sonogram process in general is a big what are you nuts. But I'll save it.

Speaker 1 I'll save it.

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Speaker 1 See site for details.

Speaker 4 Well, I think we should get to a speak pipe so that we can.

Speaker 4 I think these are going to be some. Well, okay, first of all, I thought we could do a quick quiz, a little fun little quiz about pregnancy and facts about pregnancy.

Speaker 1 And let's see how down to clown you are.

Speaker 4 Let's see how much you know

Speaker 4 about the adventure that is pregnancy. Did you know that after a couple of months of development, babies begin to do this in the khum.

Speaker 4 They begin to do this in the khum.

Speaker 1 Sorry, Olivia?

Speaker 1 They begin to hiccup.

Speaker 4 Oh. They begin to laugh.

Speaker 1 They begin to pee pee.

Speaker 4 A, B, or C? Which one? one

Speaker 1 oh oh oh oh it's multiple choice i was like all three of those things they begin to

Speaker 1 hiccup one a

Speaker 1 sorry it's p c crap

Speaker 1 what's really the difference between hiccuping and laughing it's really the same

Speaker 4 all i know is my son shy is a little hiccupper and it's freaking cute it looks like he's drunk So what do you do?

Speaker 1 Do you scare him? Do you give him a nice slap on the back?

Speaker 4 I just watch him. I think he doesn't seem bothered by it, so it's hilarious.

Speaker 1 I have a question on this slapping on the back, Josh. There are young fathers in my orbit that are nursing their baby, holding the bottle, not like teed out.
Bottle, baby, okay?

Speaker 1 Baby's done with the bottle. Then they flip him over, okay? And they're not gently trying to get a burp.
They're like this. And I'm like, what are you nuts? You're going to break his back.

Speaker 1 Like, have you seen an aggressive slapper to get that burp out? And is it necessary?

Speaker 4 As far as I know, the aggressive aggressive slap is only if they're choking. And then you can give them a, you can whack them one, right? That's only, yes, if they're choking.

Speaker 4 I have, some people do the over the shoulder. Oh, I'm going to teach you all this.
I am an amazing, I'm so good at this stuff.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 So first they'll do the kid over the shoulder. You put a little rag here.
So in case they spit up, they always spit up. It's so gross.
Okay. And then they'll just do like the gentle tab.

Speaker 4 I like to take the baby like a puppet, right?

Speaker 1 And I put it on my knee.

Speaker 4 So the legs are strewn here and the face and I hold, I hold the face and the face is all like this.

Speaker 1 Like the Rizzler.

Speaker 4 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 4 I hold the face here and the back is here and I just give it like, I'm giving like, you know, 30%.

Speaker 4 You know, 20, 30%. I'm not going full out.
That's nuts.

Speaker 1 I've seen 60% from the gets.

Speaker 1 We're going to have to teach you.

Speaker 4 You're going to have to get on your swaddle game, my boy.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. I'm excited.

Speaker 4 How to swaddle your baby.

Speaker 1 I need to learn how to swaddle.

Speaker 1 You make that little baby bird. You're good with a diaper?

Speaker 1 I'm good with a diaper. I will be good with a diaper.
That said, like doing, cleaning somebody else's kids' shit,

Speaker 1 not for me. No.
My own kids' shit? For sure. But, like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 In an emergency, will I do it? Of course.

Speaker 1 But, like, am I dying to change Shai's diaper?

Speaker 4 Not really. No, I'm not.

Speaker 1 I'm over it.

Speaker 4 It's enough already.

Speaker 4 Well, he's only two years in a month, so we're about to start training, but it's enough.

Speaker 1 I've had enough. It's enough.

Speaker 4 Well, now he does that thing where when kids start to like become aware that they're using the bathroom and there's like a little bit of embarrassment about it, like all of a sudden we'll just like see Shai in the corner of a room like this.

Speaker 1 And in case you're not watching on YouTube, you should be, because Josh's booty is out.

Speaker 1 And he looked mysterious. I was describing it for our audio-only listeners and shaming them.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like, like, literally, it'll be like this.

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 4 This is why you need to watch this and not just do audio, you jerks.

Speaker 1 Well, now I can't see Josh either. Oh, now I can.

Speaker 1 Josh has an embarrassed look on his face. He's making a small duty.

Speaker 4 We'll be like, Shai, are you pooping? And he'll go, yeah.

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 he'll tell us now.

Speaker 4 He'll be like, Pooh-poo, and then we'll have to go and change him.

Speaker 1 At least he's telling you that's nice. Oh, babe, I hate, I hate it when these kids are just soiled, and you're like, Did you shit your pants? And they're like, No.
Well, you smell like shit.

Speaker 1 So, did you shit your pants? No,

Speaker 1 like what, babe? Why are you lying?

Speaker 4 It's so good. The best is when they have an accident and you have to throw out their pants.

Speaker 1 Like, you haven't lived, it's just like it's like me me and Kutchers.

Speaker 4 You haven't lived till you're in public. You're just like, we're going to have to throw away the pants.
It's so bad.

Speaker 1 Oof.

Speaker 4 Full blowout, babe. It's going to be great.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 the best is when you put them in their little swaddle and you're like, this is too tight. This is suffocating.
This is nuts. And they just are so.

Speaker 4 happy and they're so tight in their little cloth and they feel like they're back in the home and they're just like

Speaker 4 off to dream world it's so cute So cute.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, we're so cute.

Speaker 4 I know. It's really, it's a really good time.

Speaker 1 Are there other questions on your pregnancy quiz?

Speaker 4 Okay, Olivia, feel free to weigh in on this. I'm going to give you three options for the heavy, world's heaviest baby ever.

Speaker 4 18 pounds.

Speaker 4 20 pounds. Holy shit.
22 pounds.

Speaker 1 20.

Speaker 2 I'm also going to go with 20.

Speaker 4 Sorry, guys. It's 22, babe.

Speaker 1 22 pounds. The world's heaviest babies

Speaker 4 was born in 1879 at 22 pounds.

Speaker 1 Okay, how do we know? 1879.

Speaker 4 Crazy.

Speaker 1 That's crazy, Josh. 22 pounds.
I thought I was a big baby. How big were you?

Speaker 1 8 pounds, 13 ounces.

Speaker 4 That's nice. That's a good size.

Speaker 4 What were you? 7 pounds, 10 ounces, and I've been trying to get back to my birth weight ever since.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a good weight.

Speaker 4 That's a good weight. Could you imagine me 6'2, 8 pounds?

Speaker 1 The dream. Yeah, you'd be gorgeous.
Don't I, Nelly?

Speaker 1 6'2, 8 pounds.

Speaker 4 Did you know that your baby can hear in the womb and respond to the sounds coming from outside by the end of its 24th week? They're going to be able to hear.

Speaker 1 In 24 weeks, you got to play them the podcast. Not only are we going to play them the podcast, okay? We're going to make them subscribe to the podcast.

Speaker 1 And boy, oh, boy, do you know that claudia is going to be singing them show tunes like non-stop show tunes well let me see there's i would say that there's a 50 chance that we have a broadway star brewing in there okay but here's the thing what if they're a dentist i would love it whatever they want okay good that said that said that dentist will be singing in the shower wishing that they were on broadway

Speaker 4 I don't know a dentist who loves their profession at all.

Speaker 1 No, and by the way, if they want to be a dentist, I'm not letting my baby commit suicide. So, nope.

Speaker 1 My God.

Speaker 1 Well, by the way, that is a fact. Highest suicide rate.
That is not a Ben, a crazy opinion. That is a fact.

Speaker 4 Well, did you know that one such theory is that pregnant women suffering from severe heartburn could give birth to babies with hair?

Speaker 1 That would explain our heartburn, Ben. Pregnant women with extreme heartburn can give birth to babies with hair.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Wow. Dumb sponsorship.

Speaker 1 I have actually seen there's some babies when they come out, they have that huge maim, and you're like, whoa.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I bet you.

Speaker 1 Do they lose that hair, though, or they keep that hair?

Speaker 4 I think it depends. Shy lost all his hair and then it grew back.

Speaker 1 Were you scared when he lost his hair?

Speaker 4 No, because we had neutrophil.

Speaker 1 Because you knew.

Speaker 1 yeah, neutrophil, Dr. Diamond, three months.
No big deal, please.

Speaker 1 God, Josh, Shai's jaw looks just chiseled since the last time I saw him. No, if you guys have a girl,

Speaker 4 will you get her a nose shot by 14

Speaker 1 by 14 months

Speaker 1 she's just gonna have this huge, perfect nose. I love it.

Speaker 4 Well, did you know that a new mother could experience forgetfulness quite often? This is called mommy brain. Maybe you have daddy brain.

Speaker 1 You're going to say something fucking dumb like that. I do have daddy brain.
And by the way, do I now get like a little bit of grace? I've had some things on my plate, Josh, okay?

Speaker 1 My brain has been full.

Speaker 4 Well, we're still going to have a neurologist come in here and check you out because you scare me sometimes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're going to have him check you out too, okay? Gaslighter.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 1 Gaslighting me into munchausens. I'm Gypsy Rose and you're my mother.

Speaker 4 No, I know.

Speaker 4 Please, God willing.

Speaker 1 This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Built Rewards, PSA for anyone who rents like me. If you haven't heard of Built, you're about to thank me.

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Speaker 4 Okay, should we get to a speak pipe?

Speaker 1 Please.

Speaker 4 All right, this is from Anonymous.

Speaker 5 Hey, good guys. So I was just wondering from like a male perspective, my boyfriend really wants to have a baby.
And, you know, we've been together for four years,

Speaker 5 but he's addicted to Xanax and cocaine.

Speaker 5 This is going to stop once we have the aforementioned baby, but I'm not really sure. And I'm not like looking to be a single mother.
So let me know what you think.

Speaker 5 Do people stop using once they have children? Or, like,

Speaker 5 what's the deal?

Speaker 1 Why can't all freaking speak pipes be like that? Oh, my God, that was gold. So good.
All right. No, I don't think that drug addicts abruptly stop using when their partner

Speaker 1 has a baby. No, I don't.
Wow, what a cocktail combo. The Xanax to cool him down and the cocaine to pop him up.

Speaker 4 Like peanut butter and jelly, baby, just goes together.

Speaker 1 That is fantastic. No, I definitely would not just give in to a crackhead's demands, but I could sense in your voice that you felt the same.
Maybe get him cleaned up a little. Pick one, okay?

Speaker 1 Jimbo, pick one. Yeah.
Xanax or Coke. The Xanax and Coke.
It's too much. It's too much for your heart.
I agree completely.

Speaker 4 I think it's probably better to wait.

Speaker 4 By the way, if you want to leave us a message, go to speakpipe.com/slash good guys. You'll get our advice.
You can leave us questions and don't mix Xanax and cocaine. Next one.

Speaker 5 Hey, good guys. Quick question.
So, my friend flies out to New York every single weekend or every other weekend to hook up with this

Speaker 5 billionaire, like loads of money.

Speaker 5 and she has never signed an NDA because I guess every time he wants her to sign it, something happens, and she just doesn't mention it to him because she comes back with all the tea.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 5 fast forward to

Speaker 5 him asking her if she's ever told anybody like about their situation. And she said, Well, yeah, my girl's back home.

Speaker 5 He called us and offered us $500,000 $500,000

Speaker 1 or

Speaker 5 sign an NDA off what my friend said.

Speaker 5 And I'm going to tell you, the stories aren't that great, but he wants to offer us $500,000.

Speaker 5 I mean, obviously, like, I want to take it, but isn't that kind of crazy?

Speaker 1 Is this a real story or like,

Speaker 1 like, or is it just like the timing with Brianna Chicken Fry, who, by the way, I saw at UFC over the weekend and she's doing well.

Speaker 1 She looks incredible. She's doing great.
She's so nice. She has such a great head on her shoulders.
Totally. And she just is living her best life, declining that 12 million.
We'll make more back.

Speaker 1 I thought of that with that speak pipe. By the way, a random person that you're not dating offers you half a million dollars to not talk about a third party.
Duh, take it,

Speaker 1 take it and run. Can Can I have half a million dollars? Because now we're all kind of in on it.
Like,

Speaker 1 can I have some money? I guess we're already talking about it on the podcast, so we're probably in breach.

Speaker 1 Also, like, anybody who tells you that they're a billionaire, they're probably not. Just saying he probably has some good money.
People love to throw around the term billionaire.

Speaker 1 Like, you know how many billionaires there are? Very few. And most of them aren't flying people out to fuck them.

Speaker 1 Like, it's just like random people who are going to tell their friends, this whole thing is giving shady and made up. But hopefully that was good advice.

Speaker 4 We've been asking people to make up speak pipes, so maybe she just was taking direction.

Speaker 1 You're right. Well, that was good, but it was a little too outlandish.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I don't know. The whole NDA thing, it sounds odd.
I was once around a Chinese billionaire who

Speaker 4 took me out for very expensive steaks and then basically asked me to do a bunch of work for his company for free. So I was like, this just doesn't feel right.

Speaker 4 But we went and we had milkshakes together in his Rolls-Royce. I think he just wanted to sleep together,

Speaker 1 but he was very gentle. You would look good on the arm of a Chinese billionaire.
I'm down to clown. That's me and another light.
That's all I'm saying, dude.

Speaker 4 Like, those are the flashes that are going to come when you're looking at your beautiful baby child. We're going to be like, I could be on a yacht right now with someone who's in money laundering.

Speaker 1 Josh Chang. You'd be gorgeous.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Because you'd obviously take his last name.

Speaker 4 100%. My last name is Sullied.

Speaker 4 Because he's a power player. I already had to change my last name from Peckerman to Peck.

Speaker 1 By the way, you really wish you could change it back to Peckerman now, don't you?

Speaker 4 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Peckerman.

Speaker 4 Aye, yi-yi.

Speaker 1 One more speaker.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay, one more. This one's from Mackenzie.

Speaker 5 Hey, good guys.

Speaker 5 First off, Mazotov to Ben on becoming a dad. That is so exciting.
I am so excited for the new dad and pregnancy content with Claudia. Question is for Josh.

Speaker 5 I have a two-year-old girl and I am currently about 18 weeks pregnant with my second. My is, how was the transition for you and your wife going from one kid to two?

Speaker 5 And do you have any tips or advice on making that transition as smooth as possible? I'm a little nervous, but love the pod, guys, and thanks so much.

Speaker 4 Okay. First of all, Mackenzie, love you.

Speaker 4 Don't do chores when you're leaving us speak pipes.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 what are you organizing your your desk? What are you putting paper clips away, Mackenzie? Not good.

Speaker 1 Not good.

Speaker 4 I assume you're going to have,

Speaker 4 you guys are going to have a gaggle of kids, Ben?

Speaker 1 We'll see. I think so.

Speaker 1 I feel, God willing, like three is the right number.

Speaker 1 Love it. But we shall see.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm one of two.

Speaker 1 And I absolutely love my sister. And I think being four

Speaker 1 was actually really easy. Like, it's one table.
It's one

Speaker 1 hotel room. It's one car.
It's one five, though. I think five is like the max before things get a little bit tricky.
Like, yes. Once you're at six, six is a large vehicle.
Six is a large table.

Speaker 1 Six is multiple rooms. Six is just, and then seven.
Holy smokes. No way we ever touch five.
That's nuts. That's nuts.

Speaker 4 Can you imagine five sopharashris? Ashri's Safaris. Sorry, Claudia.

Speaker 1 It's kind of sick. I kind of love it.
I kind of love it, too.

Speaker 4 Maybe you guys should blend your last name for the kids.

Speaker 4 Safri? Sofri.

Speaker 1 Safri. Cute.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But no,

Speaker 1 I won the, it wasn't even a battle, but I won the last name. So

Speaker 1 we're thankful. We leave it at that.

Speaker 4 Mordecai Sofri?

Speaker 4 Yes. Rivka Sofri?

Speaker 1 What if I just like go totally crazy and pick like a real Christian name like Mary or Jesus?

Speaker 4 Yes, or Christian.

Speaker 1 Christian Soffrey? It sounds like a country singer.

Speaker 4 105.1.

Speaker 4 We're here for the country station. We got a new track from Christian Soffrey.

Speaker 1 It's because it sounds like the grand old Opry.

Speaker 1 So Opry sounds like an opera house.

Speaker 4 I kind of love it.

Speaker 1 It kind of made attracts you guys. It also sounds like a delicious rub.
Like, I'll take some of the Saffries mesquite, you know?

Speaker 1 Like a good barbecue rub lime.

Speaker 4 I'm in. I'm all of it.

Speaker 1 I'm in.

Speaker 1 I'm in. And what about you? You could have done Poe Brian.

Speaker 4 I know. My son, my wife's last name is O'Brien.

Speaker 1 Or Obrech. Obrech.
Opeck.

Speaker 4 Just fun.

Speaker 1 I like Obrech.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean look i i was able to weasel out some jewish names out of my wife but i certainly could have had like a you know a patrick who knows

Speaker 1 that would be that a patrick that's always the interesting do you know do you know any patricks

Speaker 1 that's like a like does paige have any patricks in her family oh yeah she has a cousin

Speaker 1 she does

Speaker 1 good boy patty nice boy yeah sweetheart good good good because yeah i don't know one jew named patrick that's like one of the names that is just like

Speaker 1 zero have ever been named Patrick. There was.
I think that there are more Jews named Christian than Patrick.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, I know some Jews named Anthony. That's always interesting.

Speaker 1 That makes more sense to me than Patrick. Patrick is just, I don't know.
Patrick is Christian to the bone. Beautiful name, though.

Speaker 1 Because I'm Christian to the bone.

Speaker 1 That's our first song at soffries

Speaker 1 to the bone grand old soffrie do you have uh what are you nuts i do and i teased it earlier our what are you nuts moment of the week is our gripes with people places and things big or small whatever's sickening in our craw currently ben take it away okay so you're going to the doctor right anybody that is expecting anybody that has been along this journey knows you go to the doctor and you get a sonogram right they lay on that nice what i envisioned to be mint jelly that i'd like to put on a nice lamb chop.

Speaker 1 And they go in there with the ultrasound handle or whatever it is. And they're going and they're looking at the baby and you see those beautiful pictures on the screen.

Speaker 1 And then they clip one and they print them, right? For whatever reason, they love to write, hi, mom, picture. Hi, dad, picture.
Baby toaster or whatever it is, okay? What are you nuts?

Speaker 1 I just want a clear picture. When you print them, I don't want your mashugana crap on it.
I don't want hi, mom. I don't want hi, dad.
I don't want it's cold in here, it's warm in here.

Speaker 1 Enough with the jokes. Give me a clean picture.
What are you nuts? I can't give a sonogram, hi, dad, to my parents. They're gonna be like, where's the regular one?

Speaker 1 Why did you stick me with this mishugana one where somebody wrote on it? Word up.

Speaker 4 Love it. Love it.
I guess I'll just, I'll do one in the vein of having kids too, and I tease mine before too. If the couple is not going to find out the gender, don't ask if they want a circumcision.

Speaker 1 Read the file before. What are you nuts? Do a little research.
That's terrible.

Speaker 4 It's kind of classic. You know, it is what it is.
It's fun, though, man, because I got to announce it to the room.

Speaker 1 You got to announce to the room. It's a boy.

Speaker 1 Oh, that, yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 4 It's fun.

Speaker 1 That's nice.

Speaker 4 Well, you have to understand, too, that my wife had a C-section, right? So I'm sitting outside of the room for like 30 minutes as they're getting her ready. And then they're like, we'll bring you in.

Speaker 4 And at that time, they bring me into the room. And I'm like, I'm an actor.
What's my role here? Like, give me direction. So I, I took the job as hype man and I go like, we're having a baby, guys.

Speaker 4 And it's all these people in full scrubs being like, can you be quiet?

Speaker 1 It's like, okay.

Speaker 1 I'll be quiet.

Speaker 1 Just trying to do my part. I know.
I was like, page, push.

Speaker 4 They're like, it's a C-section. Don't push.

Speaker 1 That's so hard. Like, what even words of encouragement? You don't give words.
It's just drugs, right? Like, you just hope that the drugs are enough. Oh, oof.
And they are. Oh, my God.
And they are.

Speaker 1 They are.

Speaker 4 Benjamin, we are so happy.

Speaker 4 Allow me to speak for the morons and even the toasters when we say, Amazaltov,

Speaker 4 God willing, one day at a time. Don't worry.
Don't be in fear. Baruch Hashem.
Thank you, God. So happy for you and Claudia.
May it be a strong,

Speaker 4 whatever they are. May they be strong.

Speaker 4 And that's all I got. May they be strong.

Speaker 1 Thank you. And I'm just thankful to everybody for really like some of the nicest messages ever.
Like to know that this baby is already so loved, unborn is a real blessing.

Speaker 1 And I love all of you and appreciate all of you. And

Speaker 1 if I can ask for one more favor, get your friends to like and subscribe to the podcast. Okay.
So that this beautiful unborn baby can have a life of riches. Watch us on YouTube.

Speaker 1 Listen to us on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts. If you're not rating this episode five stars, you're actually nuts.
Okay. I literally divulged my whole heart.
This is five stars. Okay.

Speaker 1 Listen to us. Watch us on Josh's YouTube.
Follow us on TikTok. Follow us on Instagram.
Share our clips. Mondays and Thursdays, folks.
We'll see you next time.

Speaker 6 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Speaker 6 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.