In Debt to the Tooth Fairy

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Soffer.
And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there.
And we're the good ones. Mazel morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast.
I'm sitting here with Millie Bobby Brown's yoga teacher. It's Ben Soffer.
Olivia liked that one. It's funny that you bring that up, Josh.
Yesterday, I got a massage and the goal was opening up my hips. My hips are just locked in position.
Are they still? Locked. Still.
Yeah. Still.
What does that do for your lovemaking? It's an excellent question. It doesn't help.
It doesn't help. Are you in pain when you're making love? What did you say? Are you in pain when you're making love? It absolutely does, Josh.
Thank you so much for asking. And I think are you in pain while you do it? No, I'm not.
I'm not. I just like know that I could be like that porn star, like porn star energy.
And I can't do it. Like I have like the libido for it.
I'm like, yeah, but no, I can't get there because like I'm geriatric. Yeah.
I don't know if I'm going to cut this out, but I'm going to say it. I try to bring that energy to canoodling with my wife.
And then she like, it's like, no, no, no. We're going to do it.
Like respectable people who had two parents who loved them my favorite part about us is we started this episode we said we're cutting nothing out within three within three within three minutes we're cutting out two things okay well yeah i yeah look by the way i respect it love making love making should be about love Josh. It should.
It should. It's not the way, I respect it.
Lovemaking, lovemaking should be about love, Josh.

It should.

It's not always about the ground and pound.

Ugh, that is so gross.

You know what, this is my what are you nuts

and it's coming in early.

It really grosses me out when someone goes,

this is my lover.

Awful.

It is?

Awful.

Lover?

Awful.

Awful. We've definitely spoken about this before.
Awful. I also hate the word partner.
Sorry. I just...
Sorry. The bed doesn't give a fuck.
Sorry. This is my life partner.
Get married, bozo. Like, you've been life partners for 20 years years don't you want to take advantage of the tax break i also think that if you're dating in your 40s like you cannot have a boyfriend or girlfriend anymore just call them your spouse like call them your husband or wife no one's gonna ask for receipts no one's gonna be like can i see your certificate no just say that you're married it's fine that's right you know what know what show I've been watching, Josh, lately? You ever watch Only Murders in the Building? I ask that as I know you don't watch it because you don't watch any of this stuff.
I don't watch it, but it's created by my good friend Dan Fogelman, who's one of the best in the biz. Just love him.
He's a mensch and a genius. I love that show.
I love that cast. Martin Short is Bruce Soffer in the best way.
Yes. In the best way.
And the reason I thought of it is because Martin Short and Meryl Streep are this older love romance. They get married on the show.
They are the cutest, fantastic. And all I have to say, if you're old, you can still get married.
We don't need life partners. Get itched.
Well, isn't the scuttlebutt that they are dating in real life? Yes. Yes, they are.
So hot. That is so hot.
Can you imagine dating Meryl Streep? And at the same time, can you imagine dating Martin Short? What a power couple. Martin Short comes in, shows up at Meryl's house, all 5' five and Canadian.
And it's like, you know, they're going somewhere. They're going to at minimum a Houston's or a Hillstone.
Minimum, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, of course.
They're doing it all. I just maybe it's just his character, but they are going to a show.
Ooh, they're taking in the town. You know, they're not sitting at home doing nothing, Josh.
They're going out. They're having a couple of martinis.
They're doing it. They're doing it up.
They're doing it up. They're not in recovery.
They're slinging a couple back, getting nice and loose. Slinging a couple back.
They have open hips. They're going at it.
Yes, they do. They probably do.
They're they're fucking banging i'm cutting that out number four put it to the list i really appreciate that you can watch and enjoy shows i'm like getting worse and worse look we also watch you know this we re-watch so many shows we're currently re-watching glee oh my god, I love that there's a part of you and Claudia, which are like the most sophisticated New Yorker. And then there's a part of you guys that would make sense in Kansas city.
We literally, we love, we reserve the 830 to about 10 at night for like a nice 90 minutes of TV. The question is, what are we watching? Right now we're watching because we finished Only Murders.
We're watching Glee. And there's just something.
Claudia was born to be on Glee. Like she looks at Rachel Berry and she's like, I am you.
Like this is us. We are simpatico.
So she loves that show. And look, I always love a singing competition.
I love the voice. I love the Britain's Got Talent.
I love American Idol. So when I watch Glee, I'm like, oh, these kids pretty good.
That said, Mr. Schuster, no good.
Interesting. Oh, and the great Sue Sylvester.
Unbelievable. You love Jane Lynch.
Jane Lynch is a queen. She's also in Only Murders.
I just have to say, I know we're doing less guests on this show because you guys want less guests, but we need to have Jane Lynch. Don't give the people any credit.
We decided on our own based on how much you listen and don't listen. Okay.
This was a complete solo decision. We won't be bullied.
Nothing to do with you. Nothing to do with you.
We decided on our own. That said Jane Lynch.
Please. I'm obsessed.
I'm obsessed with her. I get it.
Jane Lynch. Love her.
Have you met her? I've never met Jane Lynch. No.
Oh, just saying she's on my list. Who's on your list of what? Guess just somebody that you love that maybe you haven't met.
I even if Jane Lynch wanted to have dinner, I'd take dinner. I I don't need her on the podcast.
I just love to meet her. That's a great point.
You know, I love, in this day and age, the problem with having a podcast is everyone you meet, you want to ask them for something. And I think it's very powerful to not need nothing from no one.
That's my goal in life. I want to be able, the other day, I was at my buddy's son's birthday and he introduced me to this lovely woman who runs and is like a big macher at Levi's.
I love Levi's 501s. Perfect creation.
All American. Josh Peck, Levi's.
Is that the one with all of the buttons up? Is that the one with all the buttons up? On the fly? Yeah. No, it's a zipper.
I think. It's a zipper.
Okay. There's only one Levi's product that I can't do.
It's the one with the five buttons. It was made for a skinny man.
You're not a button fly king. No, five buttons, Josh.
Five buttons. It's too much.
It's four buttons too many. I used to be a solely button fly guy.
I'm a button fly guy because I only wore G stars, which was a good time in my life. Great gene.
Yeah. Great gene.
Japanese denim. Who do I love? Who do I like? Levi's.
You love Levi's. You love Levi's.
Levi's. So I love Levi's.
And so I meet this woman who's like a big executive at Levi's and she's like, Oh, you have to come by our like gifting thing. And I just wanted to be like, you know what? It's just nice to meet you.
Like, I don't need them. Like, but thank you.
And it's, I'm a fan. It's nice to meet you.
But of course, instead I said, when and where babe, when and where I want to be able to say, no, I've heard that George Clooney does not accept gifting.

It's definitely a powerful move.

And I will say, and this is going to seem unrelatable to folks who are like,

you don't want to be gifted by brands.

Like, no, they send crap.

They are trying to just weasel their way into something that they normally need to pay for,

right? Which is going to be an advertisement from the incredibly famous Josh Peck. And I'm just saying, stop it.
Just stop it. It's enough.
You want my man's services? Come up with the stone cold cash. Okay.
That's it. Come up with the stone cold cash.
I want to see $100 bills. Okay.
I don't want to see, let me send you some free tea bags. We don't want your tea bags.
No, we can buy our own tea bags. Okay.
Yes. Okay.
It's enough. That said, I would take a thousand dollar gift card to Levi's.
Like, that's nice. But I bet you would, Ben.
Who wouldn't? That's a nice gift. Yeah, that's pretty good.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't want one pair of jeans, though.
I don't want one pair. Nope.
I've got to add this to the list. Unrelatable.
Fuck. People are going to be like, you rich assholes.
It's not even true. We're not even rich.
We're rich for Louisville. We're so poor.
No, we're fine. We're comfortable.
We're comfortable, but we're not like, I mean, we're not those people. The last time I saw you wear that shirt, Josh, was when we had Taylor Lautner on.
Do you remember that? I didn't own this then, but I did get this for free from Paige. Shout out.
What is wrong with your memory? I think I just, it looks like that gray shirt. Is that not gray?

It's green.

It's like an olive.

It's beautiful, Josh.

God bless you.

Thank you so much.

I know it looks good.

Okay, I won't tell you then.

I won't tell you next time.

This episode of the Good Guys Podcast

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Where are you going tonight? Tell me everything. I don't need to rush.
I'm cool as a cucumber. We're good.
We're here. It's okay.
Where are you going? We got plenty of time.

So Claudia has a new ambassadorship with a dog food brand.

I forget the name, but this is the first event.

You can do that.

And she doesn't want to show up alone.

So I will be there like the first man, first husband that I am supporting her.

And it's all the way downtown.

Your social media is Doug Emhoff.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Like, like, wait, like, way to not know her all the way downtown, Josh.

You know, she doesn't go downtown.

We're going all the way.

We're talking lower than Chinatown.

In Fidei?

So it's far.

It's far.

Yeah, it's in Fidei.

It's far. So I just said, you know, if we can do this at a normal pace, no rush, no rush.
Interesting. Can you tell that I'm sweating this room? 2000 degrees.
Oh, no, you've got some nice pit stains, which I have. Oh, my God, it's terrible.
I don't I don't judge you for them, dude. I'm a schvitzer.
The other day it it was funny i was reading this story to my son at night and it was this british book and so they were talking about jumpers right like oh little ian and jerry were wearing jumpers and i was like son a jumper is a sweater but it's just like a british term for sweater and he goes oh sweater like when you take walks and then you come home and you've got that spot on the back of your shirt. Are you calling me out for sweating? First of all, no, you dummy.
But I was like, that is so classic that he notices that I always come home sweaty. Yeah.
look, I'm honestly not even a huge sweater.

There's just something about the material of the shirt and the warmth coming from the radiators. This is what happens in New York, okay? This is a what are you nuts? The second, the second that it becomes October, they crank the heat in these old buildings, in these radiators.
And then you're blessed with, we have, it's 75 today, Josh, 76 tomorrow, 78 the next day. We're blessed with weather.
But if it's warm outside and the heat is on, we're going to be schvitzing. We're going to be schvitzing.
It's too hot, too hot. But it is what it is.
It's gorgeous outside. And I'll cool down.
I'll be fine. And so you're going to go to this dog food event.
And is this like, are we talking Royal Canine? Are we talking Alpo? Is Alpo still a thing? I think it's actually a new dog supplement company. So it's not food.
We're looking out for the dog's joints. We're looking out for their cognitive ability.
I think so. We're looking out for their cholesterol levels.
We could be giving them lines, Maine. I'm really not sure.
I will find out. I will report back.
We are big, big fans of cognitive canine supplements. Are we doing cognitive? Are we giving the dogs chaga? What are we giving the dogs? Echinacea? We're going to find out.
Oh my God. We're going to find out.
We're going to find out. But yeah, all the way downtown.
I just, Josh, I just, just got back from the beautiful state of Florida. I was there for a week and let me tell you something.
Okay. I have a best bite of the week because it's important.
Great. Important.
Meat market, meat market in Boca Raton is a 12 out of 10. This was an unbelievable restaurant.
Their sushi, fantastic. Kind of felt like a Hillstone.
I got a spinach artichoke dip out of this world. I had a stuffed artichoke.
These are my favorite things. And then Josh, ready for this? They had, I know you're going to be like, but sometimes you eat regular steak.
Yes, I do. My kosher is strange.
They had a kosher steak on the menu, Josh. They had it.
You didn't get it, did you? I did. I did.
And it was probably slightly worse than if I had gotten just like the regular steak, but it was delicious. It was delicious.
And then I had a warm cookie on my way out. Best bite of the week.
It was great. That said, Florida weather was no bueno.
That post-hurricane, it is still not great down there. Raining, yucky, no good.
But the food, A plus. I think, and I opened this up to the room, I think a restaurant would be better off.
And this is me. And I have spilkis, as we know.
This is a word for ants in the pants. I got to move.
I got to go. I got to go.
I got to go. My perfect job would be if I could do this podcast while walking.
I'm serious. If we could record it where we would lose all of the outside sounds or the sounds of a treadmill going, I would rather be walking.

I think dessert is a wasted part of dinner at a restaurant.

I think it takes too long in many cases.

I think it can literally elongate the sitting time 30 minutes to an hour, which is just unacceptable to me.

For what?

For what?

An apple tart? For a fakakca hot lava cake? Let's go. So after a two hour dinner, if they could say, would you like a dessert to go? We've got homemade donuts, homemade chocolate chip cookies.
We make our own sour gummies here. We have a patisserie, you know, makes bakeries shit.
We've got a gummery where we can make a sort of gummies. You know what I'm saying? Like, give me something for the road.
If we could do this podcast walking, Josh, we would be longer than Rogan because we're both the same in that regard. We can talk on the phone and talk on the phone and talk on the phone.
It would be a four hour podcast. I don't know what we'd be talking about.
It'd be tangent after tangent after tangent. But I think we should try it one time.
Dessert totally agreed, completely unnecessary. It also makes me feel like ass.
I had a beautiful dinner. I had a beautiful dinner, filled myself with nourishment.
I had a beautiful salad. I had a steak.
I had some artichokes. And then all of a sudden just load in 250 grams of sugar.
And then I go home and I feel like crap. But I had a beautiful dinner.
I'm done with dessert. I'm done with it.
I'm also done with dessert at night. I don't want to sleep on this chocolate lava cake.
I don't want to. Stop offering it to me.
If I say that I don't want dessert, say, hey, you know, I'd like some. No, be a friend.
If I don't want dessert, you don't want dessert either. I couldn't agree with you more.
Now, what about tomorrow? We're recording this on October 30th. So tomorrow is Halloween.
I have kids. I know what my day is going to look like and it's going to be incredible.
What does your day look like as a person who's married and slightly, let's just say, beyond the age of like, let's go rage on Halloween. What does your Halloween look like, Ben? Yes.
And speaking of raging on Halloween, I have a quick story first. In New York City, the kids decided to celebrate Halloween last week, Josh.
Last weekend was Halloween. I don't know why.
I guess maybe because Halloween falls on a Thursday, they decided to celebrate the weekend before. Claudia and I, it's Saturday night.
We fall asleep at 1030, like kings, okay? Watch some Only Murders, watch some Glee, shut off the TV in a deep slumber, deep REM. 1255, all of a sudden, I wake up, not from something I'm hearing, but from something I'm feeling, Josh.
Through, pulsing through my veins. There is a building next to my building where these kids are having a party on the roof.
They must have rented like literally club level speakers. You've never heard anything like this in your life.
Pulsing through my veins from 1255 to 130. I'm literally looking at Claudia.

I'm like, are we being interrogated?

Like, I felt like I was captured

and they were interrogating me.

Unz, unz, unz.

Through my chest, it was so awful.

So awful.

Somebody must've called the cops

because they kicked these lunatics out of here.

I told this story to my dad.

He said, what are you such a narc?

Like, when did you, what's wrong with you?

I said, dad, you didn't feel it. If I could hear it, if they were playing meatloafs, I'd do anything for love.
I would have sang along, but they're pulsing these deep beats, deep house beats through my veins. It was terrible.
So what am I doing? What am I doing tomorrow night, Josh? I'm having some candy. I'm doing nothing.
Today I dressed up as Guy Fieri and I made a filet of fish with caviar on top.

So I'll post a little video for some Halloween cheer.

But other than that, nada.

It's funny.

I just feel like I got a snapshot of you at 70 on the phone with the police doing a noise

complaint going, hello.

Yes.

No, they're club level speakers.

It would be for a nightclub. That's how loud.
You have no idea. You have no idea.
It was unbearable. And you know when you have those beats pulsing from, I felt the beats for three hours after the music was off.
I felt them, Josh. I slept with the beats.
I once, when I was out hard charging, being a cliche, my drinking and other things life, I remember I was like 21 and I went to this club in LA and there was like this big Halloween party there and it was fantastic. And'm going back sucking down cranberry vodkas you know just living it up I'm like this is delicious you don't even taste it like and my UTI is clearing up anyway so the girls know and so I'm like I'm having fun and then I'm drinking too much and then a buddy goes hey let's, let's go to this other club.
Like even cooler, we're all going to go in. So we pile in the car and we go

and someone drives my car because clearly I'm, I'm not in any place to be driving.

And so we all get out and we're about to walk into the club and I feel this wave of heat come

over me and I start to throw up and I'm throwing up in front of the valets loving every minute of it they're like where's Drake no kidding she called Drake to help you bro and I'm just like throwing up I'm just dead and so I like somehow stumbled to Hollywood Boulevard and I hail a cab thinking I'm in New York City. No one hails a cab in Los Angeles.
And I get into the cab and we're halfway home and I realize my car, my car is at the club. Like, and I don't have, I don't have keys.
and so I tell him turn around and so I go back and I'm like okay what do I like I gotta sober up I'm gonna have to wait a couple hours so I go to Burger King and I walk through I don't have a car now because the taxi has dropped me off so everything is closed at Burger King except the drive-thru so i do the walk through the drive-thru i do like the hi double whopper and i get the food i eat it and then i just proceeded to walk back and talk to the valets to like by the way i don't have my keys either so that was like a real you know godsend. And I proceed and talk to the valets to like, by the way, I don't have my keys either.
So that was like a real, you know, godsend. And I proceed to talk to the valets for like three hours.
And then finally, like they come out of the club. They're like, where were you? I'm like, oh, no, it was great.
I was in there. You just didn't see me.
They're like, why do you have Whopper sauce in your face? I'm like, shut up, Chad. And they gave me my keys.
And eventually I waited and sobered up and went home. But that was my Halloween.
Pretty cute. I'm literally so upset that I didn't know.
Like I left my keys at the club, Josh. Like that makes me sad.
Like I want to know him. I want to be with him.
But Halloween, I normally love Halloween. We, Claudia and I, we're a duo.
We dress up. We love it.
Last year, we were Mr. Sheffield and Fran Fine.
In the past, we were Dr. Phil and Danielle Bergoli.
I don't know if you've seen those. We've been DJ Khaled and she was a Saad Khaled.
We do it up. Wow.
That's amazing. We do it up and we love it.
But yeah, this year, taking the year off, no Halloween for us, except actually the toast will have already aired. We are doing every year on the toast.
They dress up for Halloween and they are being Annie. And what the hell is Annie's twin sister? Lindsay Lohan's twin sister from The Parent Trap? Oh, Olivia? Hallie, Hallie.
Hallie and Annie. And I'm being Aunt Jessie, if you remember the.

Oh, Aunt Jessie.

Very cute.

So I'll be Aunt Jessie.

And oh, last year I was also Ina Garten.

I love dressing as a woman.

This is something that I've learned about myself.

Halloween.

I'm great.

I have to be Mrs. Doubtfire.

That's one that's on my list that I haven't been yet.

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the parent job is such a great movie it's sick it's unbelievable it's unbelievable fantastic yes and like lindsey lohan was a national treasure and her butler martin was unbelievable and aunt jesse and everybody and her rich ass dad god he was so rich i'm gonna show you a really funny picture so my wife has a thing where she doesn't want to do anything for halloween up until the morning of the 31st and then all of a sudden classic it's like sound the alarms what are we doing what are we dressing as and i'm like oh my god so she goes this was 10 years ago she's like i'm gonna be like a funny like fitness influencer from you know instagram or whatever right okay at this time i go okay and i was like well i don't want to i was like maybe i'll just like i don't know like get i was shooting grandfathered at the time. Right.
So I'm doing this show.

So I have access to an incredible makeup department.

Who's very nice.

And I'm just like, I said to the makeup department, I'm like, I'm not going to go.

Like, can you give me something like, I don't know, like paint my face with something like

silly or whatever.

Now I had done the year before I had gone as a devil with John Stamos and like, it was

cool.

Cause I just did the eyes.

It was just kind of sexy

and cool and it was like perfect really perfect look at the photo here okay and then the next year I go to the makeup department I'm like would you mind like just like whatever would take like 10 minutes I don't I don't want you to be like oh no no we'd love to so generous so nice let me show you what my wife wore to this party and what I fucking look like. Oh my God.
I look like Eddie Munster. You look insane.
She was like in a tube top. a tube top she was in a tank top on like a hoverboard with like what was it those detox tees that they used to sell on instagram and i literally look like frankenstein like it's crazy wait josh now i need to show you and we'll put up both of these pictures i need need to show you our Dr.
Phil and Danielle Bergoli. Have you not seen that picture? No, I want it.
Like, okay. Oh, that's unreal.
Wow, that's really good. So good.
So good, right? That's really good. Oh, my God.
What are you going to go as Olivia? What are you and Ethan doing? Oh, my gosh. Well, I also was one of the young kids that went out last weekend.
I dressed up as Charlie XCX from the 360 music video. She's got like red wine spilled on a tank top.
It was kind of easy. So I was planning on doing that again tomorrow.
But to be honest with you, I have always wanted to do Amelia Earhart and the Bermuda Triangle. It's so easy.
Just draw a little triangle on the t-shirt. So I think I'm going to talk him into that tomorrow night for the WeHo block party.
I love it. I love it.
My parents also used to dress up. I have to find these pictures, but one year they went as a pencil and a paintbrush.
So innocent. They are.
They are sweet people. But yeah, are you a fan of the ultra makeup like were you ever like really no like no never not you i don't know i i seriously if i got offered a part if the part was incredible i probably would do it but i wouldn't want to like i i think it would have to be like on some nolan level for me to do something where they were like, it's going to be three to four hours of makeup every day for three months.
Oh, that's awful. But like one day for Halloween, I think it's because you are in the business of being somebody else.
But like for us regulars, like dressing up as somebody else for a day and playing a part is so fun. I love Halloween.

That's why these hooligans listening to Deep House ruined it for me.

That's not Halloween.

I don't know what the hell that is.

Like some weird like ecstasy trip.

That's not Halloween.

That's not goblins and ghouls.

That's not spooky season.

That's like a load of crap.

Like, what are you doing?

It's so hooligans.

It's so funny because alexa you know

from amazon the amazon alexa my friend alexa she does things for me my personal assistant alexa my you know my kids love alexa all day it's just like, Alexa, like do this, Alexa. And so they did this fun thing for, what do you call it? They did this fun thing for Halloween where for the last month you could be like, Alexa, do you detect a ghost? And then they'd be like, oh, there's a ghost in your office.
And so I, first I messed up because I bought my kids both Halloween cards I love off-brand holiday cards right like you wouldn't normally get a card for Halloween no I didn't even know that existed I love it it's cute and then like so my little guy I got a Coco Melon Halloween card and my older son I think like a Ninja Turtles one and so I wrote and I put a $2 bill in each and I wrote like, have a happy Halloween,

love mom, dad, and Casper.

And in parentheses, I wrote, I'm friendly.

And my son read this fucking card and was like, who's Casper?

And I'm like, friendly ghost. And and he's like i don't like that and i was like he's like there's a ghost sending me money it was it was like the mob reached out to my son it was like here's a little bit of money there might be a time where I need a favor from you.
And I hope that you will remember this kind deed. So he was like, I don't want the money.
I don't know who this Casper is. Leave me out of it.
So then, and my son, my older son Max is like pretty nonplussed. Like he's not an emotional kid.
He's like pretty wonderfully stoic. And so I did the thing with Alexa I'm like hey Max look at this like Alexa do you detect a ghost and he was like no no and he ran I've never seen him run like this basically my son can't be alone anymore I've completely ruined him he was not scared of anything now's terrified of ghosts.
And I kept trying to tell him, oh, ghosts. I basically kept shrinking the lie, right? I was like, oh, ghosts are really friendly.
Didn't work. I was like, well, ghosts only come in October, the week of, or the month of Halloween.
Doesn't work. So finally, we're laying in bed one night and I go, hey, Max.
He goes, yeah, I go, ghosts don't exist. And he goes, what do you mean? And I was like, they're like a character.
They're like super Mario, but they don't, they're not actually like in our life. They don't exist.
He goes, well, I told my teacher about it. And I was like, what? He's like, and I told my friend Bennett and my friend Olivia and my buddy Jack.
He's like, what'd you tell him? He's like that this guy casper won't leave me alone he keeps trying to give me money that's parenting oh my god he's ruined that's so good i can just picture him like losing a tooth putting his tooth under the pillow he gets a hundred bucks or five bucks whatever it is two bucks he's like oh no i don't want to be in debt yeah take it back take it back take it back he like he lifts up his pillow and goes no such thing as a free lunch just close your pillow pretty pragmatic but it's so fun dude like I will say I think that the two greatest nights a year for a parent is halloween night and christmas eve with your kids and so tomorrow i'm so looking forward in the morning at my son's school his elementary school they're having a halloween parade so we'll be going to that with all the kids dressed up max is going as michelangelo from ninja turtles and. And then Shy is going to be Elmo, which I guess will be two Elmos in the family.
Won't there! You're the Elmo from my nightmare. I'm gonna kill you! La la.
Jim Henson, such a genius. and two assholes are totally disparaging his legacy oh man and then we're gonna go trick-or-treating we go trick-or-treating tomorrow night it's gonna be fun i'm gonna eat so much of their candy what so this is the thing you have exposed max to the world of really special candies, right? Like you'll you'll bring home these like cool, intricate.
Does he still like regular candy? Is he a fan of the normies? Yes. And it's such a novelty like to him, you know, like for me, right? If you were like, oh, we have an organic lollipop or like some healthy gummies.
I'm like, oh, yes. But like for him to give get given a Twix or, you know, just like a random Snickers.
He's like, wow, this is this is exciting. This is huge.
And what is trick or treating look like in Los Angeles? Like I in the city, you'd go as a kid up and down buildings, Honestly, an incredible amount of candy in a small place. You'd leave with hefty bags.
What does it look like in L.A.? And are people nice? They're very nice. You have to basically because L.A.
is so spread out. I imagine it'd be like Florida.
Maybe you have to go to a neighborhood that's kind of all agreed that, you know, for four or five blocks, they're all going to be in on it. So you go like in LA, there's Toluca Lake, there's parts of Beverly Hills.
You find these residential pockets and you just go ham. I live by the beach and so all the houses are really close together.
So there are streets that are just like walk streets, basically. They have them in Santa Monica and other beach towns.
And so it's not open to cars, but basically everything gets dressed up and done up. It looks so cool.
There's thousands of kids running around grabbing different things. And it's really, it's, it's really an awesome time.
It's just a pretty wild concept. Like I've never met you before, but I'm going to knock on your door with my five-year-old and hope that you don't steal us and kill us.
Like, maybe that's just the cynic in me. The more I think about trick-or-treating, too spooky.
It is the cynic in you. If you think about it, there is not another single day in the entire calendar year where a stranger gives you something for free anything anything nothing totally nothing nada not even the most not on christmas not on yum kipper not on easter not on a federal not on july 4th maybe you get a somebody to throw you a cold one if you're lucky.
On Yom Kippur, they'll give you guilt. Yes.
Now, growing up in the city, when we were like in the building I grew up with or grew up in, there was a list downstairs and it had all the apartments that were going to give out candy. Is that what you had? Yep, exactly.
And we always, Claudia loves it. We always check our name off.
She goes, buys a bunch of candy, fills up our big pumpkin bowl or whatever. And you know what? Some years, because we move in the city, you move.
We've had buildings where no kids come and it's so sad. And we've had buildings where kids come in droves and she loves it.
She is the trick-or-treat loves to be on the, on the giving end of the candy. Yes.
Loves it. Absolutely loves it.
I know that your favorites, you, and by your favorites, I mean, you hate them. Big justice, big AJ and the Rizzler.
Did you see that they were giving out Vita Cocos? Nuts. They were giving out coconut water? Yep.
Nuts. Well, good for them.
I'm sure that's a

massive brand deal. I love, I literally, Josh, I'm sorry.
I love the, I love the Rizzler. I love him.

Great. No, I love him.
I love him. He went on Fallon and I'm just like, I love him.
I'm wishing

him the best, this eight year old. Well, did you hear that from losing teeth to free falling,

these are the most common nightmares and how to cope with them. Talk about the witching hour,

Lose the this eight-year-old. Well, did you hear that from losing teeth to free falling, these are the most common nightmares and how to cope with them.
Talk about the witching hour, losing teeth, falling from heights, being chased. Those are some of the most common nightmares that plague sleepers.
From a survey of 2000 people conducted last year, the most common nightmare reported by just over 64% of respondents was being chased or feeling lost. Other frequent nightmares include missing in an important event, waking up late, paralysis, or your teeth falling out, or a house fire.
Yikes. Dreams are typically a reaction to stress, medication, mental health conditions, or poor sleep.
An expert suggests that the feeling of falling or dreaming of falling is a response to the body relaxing and falling asleep, which is often followed by the person suddenly jerking awake. I heard, I don't remember what it means, but if you lose your teeth in your dream, it's bad news.
It's a bad sign. Like that's bad.
Yeah. What is it? is it i'm gonna google that what does it mean if you lose your teeth yep in a dream dreaming about losing your teeth often signifies feelings of insecurity stress anxiety no no there's there's something can't relate uh in the christian bible the loss of teeth is often associated with loss, especially the loss of one's wisdom.
Wow. Interesting.
That's that's deep. I am.
I'm sure that now I'm going to get nightmares because I'm going to say that I haven't had a nightmare in a while, but I haven't had a nightmare in a while. Me either.
And I'm thankful for that because they fucking suck. And probably like the worst dreams I've ever had.
I've had like a dream of like a parent dying and you wake up and that was, that's like fucking awful. And then another, like that I, I had like this like recurring nightmare that like I never handed in my final and like I never graduated.
Like, I don't know if that's like a relatable thing, but I like those were, those were only ones that I've really ever had. But I'm lucky that I haven't had them in a while.
Josh, do you have nightmares? I don't have nightmares. I do.
I mean, I know that I do, but I never remember my dreams, good or bad. And I dream.
I know that I'm dreaming, but I don't remember them. What about you, Olivia? I do.
From time to time, I actually had a really, like, I had a nightmare last week that P. Diddy was a guest on one of our podcasts, and I had to field all of the questions.

That's so funny.

From, like, and get him out of the building.

Wow.

I'm just, I'm just, I'm just saying.

And that was the, I was like, how did you get him out of like, did he get a furlough or what? Like we had to get him out of here. I'm just saying, P Diddy, if you are looking to come on a podcast, we welcome you.
Oh, my God. They wheel him in like Hannibal Lecter.
Yeah, it was awful. I was so scared the whole time.
That is terrifying. Yeah.
But I would have like recurring nightmares about the test thing or like turning in a final. I've had that before, like thinking I didn't graduate.
But yeah, I would always like be in the backseat of a car and there's not a driver, which is crazy that Waymo is a thing now. But like that was my recurring nightmare as a child.
Wow. Don't know what that says.
No good. No good.
I too don't remember my dreams, but I'm telling you, Josh, they're sweet. They're lovely dreams.
I believe you. I'm sure you've been in my dreams.
Have I been in yours? Nonstop. And my daydreams.
Yeah, I was just making sure that it wasn't just Len. You and Len frolicking in a field.
Hey, did you hear that one in three adults say they'd sign a sex NDA to keep kinks a secret? We're naked and ashamed. A whopping 95% of sex havers participating in a spicy new survey admitted to being at least somewhat kinky, while more than 60% said they were too embarrassed or worried to share their dirty desires with a partner.
The findings presented by some app found that 51 percent of the 2000 respondents quiz confessed to being afraid their other half would react badly and that they would possibly do an NDA if they could. Oh, sorry.
37 percent said they would happily sign an NDA before beginning a new relationship to ensure their secrets stay behind closed doors. Wow.
That's I'm out. Maybe it's just because I'm too old fashioned.
I'm out. I don't want it.
It's weird. Yeah.
I mean, maybe I'm not wild enough, but I just would be like, you know, what are you going to talk about me that, you know, that I make you tell me that you're actually 50 when you're 35 like so what oh i'm the weirdo you know what i mean it's not that crazy i don't know i haven't i have no idea i have no idea what i walk around naked all the time so what so what i'm naked in the kitchen i don't know i just think like do you walk around naked

no and second and second question how does walking around naked change when you have children it doesn't exist uh and i you know sometimes i will fall asleep in some form of of undress at night but i like last night my son like my son has a cough

then some form of of undress at night but i like last night my son like my son has a cough that when he doesn't feel good he'll have a cough that reverberates around the house like i could turn the alarm off because that cough will they'll send help they'll hear it from the corner store and so whether it's a cough whether my little guy you know needs something in the the middle of the night, whether and it's a house, right? So you can't like if you hear something, you sort of have to go check. I'm rarely naked.
I'm never naked at night. I can't sleep naked.
That's nuts to me. I just don't get it.
I don't get it. But, you know, I get out of the shower and, you know, sometimes before I get dressed, I mosey around.
You can catch me. Just it's fine.
You catch me, dude. I can just see you and you haven't completely dried off.
So there's like a slight there's a thin sheen of moisture over your beautiful porcelain cheeks. And you're running around like you're in a rom-com.
Yep. I i'm never perfectly dry i don't know how to do it how do you get perfectly dry you're too tall for that you're not getting crevices you're anti-crevice and i can't reach my feet so my feet are soaking wet just traipsing water footmarks all over the hardwood.

Like, oh my God.

I don't know how we got here.

Why don't we do one SpeakPipe and then we'll get to what are you nuts?

Perfect.

Yep.

All right.

If you want to ask us a question, get some advice, go to speakpipe.com slash good guys.

Keep it brief.

Brevity is key. And maybe we will air your question on the air.
This one's from Kennedy. Hey, good guys.
I'm going to be as brief as possible, but this story is insane. So my best friend's best friend, her name is Tammy, recently lost her husband.
Let's call him Sean. Both of them are not real names.
Sean was diagnosed with a health condition about two months ago and then passed suddenly.

Her and Sean have a little baby together who is one years old, absolutely heartbreaking, came out of nowhere. Here's the kicker.
The husband, Sean, was supposed to be in an Italian wedding next year, okay? One week after Sean passes, the lovely couple decides to tell the 26 year old widow, Tammy, that she has now no plus one because they rescinded her late husband's wedding invite. Are we kidding me? Did we need more space in the villa? Like, did they want a honeymoon upgrade? I am genuinely so floored.
I think that they thought, oh, perfect. Like, he passed away.
Now we have, like, a room for so-and-so's sister's cousin. Let's bring him.
Can you imagine? They're like, yes, cholera. I just need to know, were they friends with Sean or were they friends with Tammy, Josh? Clearly Sean.
Okay, so then, I don't know. I don't even think Tammy would have gone anyways.
What are they doing? Leave this woman alone. Like, to rescind is nuts.
Totally nuts. To switch it to, yeah, you think that this woman recently widowed is going to travel to Italy to come to your wedding alone? Like, that's the part that's fucking insane.
I couldn't agree more. Do less, couple.
Do less. She wasn't coming anyways.
And what I would say is, if you have a spouse who passes away, which is awful, this is one of the rare times where you as a couple go, let's say she does decide to come to the wedding. And not only that, decides to use her plus one to bring a friend to give her some emotional support because she wanted to come to the wedding because it was something that her husband really wanted to do.
Let it go. That plate is already paid for.
but i will say in all other scenarios and someone tried to pull this in my wedding and i was like what are you nuts someone's wife or husband couldn't come and they were like do you mind if i bring someone and i was like i do yep like you can come but if your wife's not going to come like no you can just bring some rando. Yes.
Which is honestly probably what they were thinking. I don't know.
It's definitely a little dicey. Okay.
There's somebody dies, like give some grace. But Tammy's going to bring Linda and the couple doesn't know Linda.
And now you have Linda and Tammy. They don't know Linda.
It's dicey, Josh.

It's dicey.

That's why I'm saying this is a very specific thing where when someone is bereaved, maybe

you roll the dice and go, they're going to bring a support friend.

Like, it's going to be odd, but we're going to have to suck it up because she just lost

her partner.

It's wild.

That is, see folks, this is a speak pipe yes this is excellent great job even if you made up tammy and sean the name tammy also shivers down my spine i don't know if you know a tammy i don't want to know a tammy i don't want it what's tammy short for tamilind nothing tam good. Tammy's short for nothing good.

Yeah.

I don't want to know her.

I don't want to know Tammy.

You got a What Are You Nuts, Josh?

Yes.

Besides naming your daughter Tammy?

My Tammy Beck.

Teepee.

My What Are You Nuts is kids sports.

My son, God bless him.

He plays on a, he's five years old.

He plays on a soccer league.

This is, I don't need to say.

It's all for fun.

This is a soccer league. This is, I don't need to say, it's all for fun.
This is all fun, right? Kids are having fun, but they're not. Because my son's team is garbage.
We have lost every single game and it's a blowout, everyone. Now he played last year and it was cute because he was like barely four and him and his little buddies, the way they would play.
It was just like, it was so sweet and you didn't expect much. But now around five is when kids get coordinated and we are not good.
And I have now gotten to, if we're getting so blown out by halftime, I start suggesting a forfeit. I go, let's call it guys.
Like, come on, can we go? Like, are any of us having fun? And what are you nuts? I'm telling you, if your kid's team is getting blown out and the game means nothing, forfeit. It should just be, it should be implied.
If they're losing by more than five, we forfeit. Josh, I think that this one's on you.
You need to be recruiting. I don't know if you've seen kicking and screaming, but you need to find that five-year-old Italian stallion, the future Messi, and you got to bring him to Max's team.
You need to revive them. I don't think, I don't know if it's happening.
It's not looking good, man. OK, well, my what are you nuts is electric cars again.
Look, I'll drive them. OK, they're fine.
The second that I need to charge them, we're not ready for these cars, folks. We're not ready.
I get it. If you have a Tesla charger, good for you.
If you have a regular non Tesla electric car and you're trying to charge it, here's what's going to happen. Okay, Josh, you're going to go.
You're probably going to go to a shopping center. You're going to plug in your car.
You're going to wait 55 minutes in the fast charger for it to charge your car. It's going to cost you about 60 bucks.
But what are you doing, Josh, during those 55 minutes, huh? You're going to your Target and you're spending $300 because what do you do with 55 minutes? You're not supposed to sit in the car because apparently the rays, they're going to mess with your brain, okay? So I ended up spending $360 just to fill a tank. What are you, nuts? We're not ready.
Or maybe it's me. What am I nuts?

Do I have a spending problem?

You might.

Okay.

Well.

We all need to go.

Like, for instance, my supercharger in my town is right next to a Macy's.

I love a Macy's.

I love, love, love, love, love it.

I go to the furniture section.

I look at the home goods. I go buy the perfumes.

I don't buy nothing. I just browse.
Just browse, babe. Macy's is a good place to browse.
Target's not a good place to browse. You're not browsing at Target.
You're putting these things in your car. You always need stuff at Target.
Yeah, sure. You also need things at Target.
What are you buying from the Chip and JoJo collection? I'm buying anything. Anything I see.
Oh, I need a new TV. No, you don't.
Put down the electronics, Ben. You don't need them.
Take us home. Well, folks, if you were going to rate five stars, this episode certainly wasn't it.
I'm just kidding. Five stars.
Otherwise, what are you nuts? What are you here for? Support us. Five stars or get lost.
Okay. Listen to us on

Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts, watch us on Josh's YouTube. You got to see us

interacting, laughing. We're having a great time.
We have so much pizzazz. TikTok and Instagram.

Watch our clips. Share our clips.
Okay. Mondays and Thursdays, folks, we will see you next time.