In Debt to the Tooth Fairy

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Speaker 1 The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. I'm Josh Peck, and I'm Ben Soffer.
And we're the good guys.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones.

Speaker 1 Muscle morons, welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast. I'm sitting here with Millie Bobby Brown's yoga teacher.
It's Ben Soffer.

Speaker 1 It's me!

Speaker 1 Olivia liked that one.

Speaker 1 It's funny that you bring that up, Josh. Yesterday, I got a massage and the goal was opening up my hips.
My hips are just locked in position. Are they still? Locked.
Still. Yeah.
Still.

Speaker 1 What does that do for your lovemaking? It's an excellent question. It doesn't help.
It doesn't help. Are you in pain when you're making love? What did you say? Are you in pain when you're making love?

Speaker 1 It absolutely does, Josh. Thank you so much for asking.
And I think are you in pain while you do it? No, I'm not. I'm not.
I just like know that I could be like that porn star, like porn star energy.

Speaker 1 And I just can't do it. Like I have like the libido for it.
I'm like, yeah. But no, I can't get there because like I'm geriatric.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to cut this out, but I'm going to say it.

Speaker 1 I try to bring that energy to canoodling with my wife. And then she like is like, no, no, no, no.
We're going to do it like respectable people who have two parents who love them.

Speaker 1 My favorite part about about us is we started this episode, we said we're cutting nothing out.

Speaker 1 Within three minutes, we're cutting out two things. I'm moving that in.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Look, by the way, I respect it.
Love making. Love making should be about love, Josh.
It should. It's always about the ground and pound.

Speaker 1 That is so gross. You know what?

Speaker 1 This is my woody nuts, and it's coming in early. It really grosses me out when someone goes, this is my lover.

Speaker 1 Awful. It is? Awful.
Lover? Awful. Awful.
We've definitely spoken about this before. Awful.
I also hate the word partner. Sorry.
I just sorry.

Speaker 1 Ben doesn't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 1 This is my life partner. Get married, Bozo.
Like,

Speaker 1 you've been life partners for 20 years. Don't you want to take advantage of the tax break?

Speaker 1 I also think that if you're dating in your 40s, like you cannot have a boyfriend or girlfriend anymore, just call them your spouse. Like, call them your husband or wife.

Speaker 1 No one's going to ask for receipts. No one's going to be like, can I see your certificate? No, just say that you're married.
It's fine. That's right.

Speaker 1 You know what show I've been watching, Josh, lately? You ever watch Only Murders in the Building? I ask that as I know you don't watch it because you don't watch any of this stuff.

Speaker 1 I don't watch it, but it's created by my good friend Dan Fogelman, who's one of the best in the biz. Just love him.
He's a mensch and a genius. I love that show.
I love that cast.

Speaker 1 Martin Short is Bruce Soffer in the best way. Yes.
In the best way. And the reason I thought of it is because Martin Short and Meryl Streep are this older love romance.
They get married on the show.

Speaker 1 They are the cutest, fantastic. And all I have to say, if you're old, You can still get married.
We don't need life partners. Get itched.

Speaker 1 Well, isn't the scuttlebutt that they are dating dating in real life? Yes. Yes, they are.
So hot. God.
That is so hot. Can you imagine dating Meryl Streep?

Speaker 1 And at the same time, can you imagine dating Martin Short? What a power couple.

Speaker 1 Martin Short comes in, shows up at Meryl's house, all 5'5 and Canadian, and it's like, you know, they're going somewhere. They're going to, at minimum, a Houstons or a Hillstone.
Minimum. Right?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, of course.
They're doing it all. I just, maybe it's just his character, but they are going to a show.
Ooh, they're taking in the town.

Speaker 1 You know, they're not sitting at home doing nothing, Josh. They're going out.
They're having a couple of martinis. They're doing it.
They're doing it up. They're doing it up.
They're not in recovery.

Speaker 1 They're slinging a couple back, getting nice and loose. Slinging a couple back.
They have open hips. They're going at it.
Yes, they do. They probably do.
They're fucking banging. I'm cutting that out.

Speaker 1 Number four put it to the list i really appreciate that you can watch and enjoy shows i'm like getting worse and worse look we also watch you know this we re-watch so many shows we're currently re-watching glee

Speaker 1 oh my god

Speaker 1 Like, I love that there's a part of you and Claudia, which are like the most sophisticated New Yorker. And then there's a part of you guys that would make sense in Kansas City.

Speaker 1 We literally, we love, we reserve the 8.30 to about 10 at night for like a nice 90 minutes of TV. The question is, what are we watching?

Speaker 1 Right now we're watching, because we finished Only Murders, we're watching Glee. And there's just something, Claudia was born to be on Glee.
Like she looks at Rachel Berry and she's like, I am you.

Speaker 1 Like this is us. We are Simpatico.
So she loves that show. And look, I always love a singing competition.
I love the voice. I love the Britons Got Talent.
I love an American Idol.

Speaker 1 So when I watch Glee, I'm like, oh, these kids, pretty good. That said, Mr.
Schuster, no good. Interesting.
Oh, and the great Sue Sylvester?

Speaker 1 Unbelievable. You love Jane Lynch.
Jane Lynch is a queen. She's also in Only Murders.

Speaker 1 I just have to say, I know we're doing less guests on this show because you guys want less guests, but we need to have Jane Lynch. Don't give the people any credit.

Speaker 1 We decided on our own based on how much you listen and don't listen. Okay, this was a complete solo decision.
We won't be be able to do it.

Speaker 1 Nothing to do with you. Nothing to do with you.
We decided on our own. That's it.
Jane Lynch. Please.

Speaker 1 I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with her.
I get it. Jane Lynch.
Love her. Have you met her? I've never met Jane Lynch.
No.

Speaker 1 Just saying she's on my list. Who's on your list? Of what? Guests? Just somebody that you love that maybe you haven't met.

Speaker 1 Even if Jane Lynch wanted to have dinner, I'd take dinner. I don't eat her on the podcast.
I'd just love to meet her. That's a great point.

Speaker 1 You know, I love in this day and age, the problem with having a podcast is everyone you meet, you want to ask them for something. And I think it's very powerful to not need nothing from no one.

Speaker 1 That's my goal in life. I want to be able, the other day, I was at my buddy's son's birthday, and he introduced me to this lovely woman who runs and is like a big mocker at Levi's.
I love Levi's 501.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Creation.

Speaker 1 All-American. Josh Peck.

Speaker 1 Is that the one with all of the buttons up? Is that the one with all the buttons up?

Speaker 1 On the fly? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it's a zipper. I think.
That's a zipper. Okay.
There's only one Levi's product that I can't do. It's the one with the five buttons.
It was made for a skinny man. You're not a buttonfly king.

Speaker 1 No, five buttons, Josh? Five buttons?

Speaker 1 It's too much. It's four buttons too many.
I used to be a solely buttonfly guy. I'm a buttonfly guy because I only wore G-Stars, which was a good time in my life.

Speaker 1 Great gene. Yeah, great gene.
Japanese denim. Who do I love? Who do I like?

Speaker 1 You love Levi's. You love Levi's.
Levi's. So I love Levi's.
And so I meet this woman who's like a big executive at Levi's. And she's like, oh, you have to come by our like gifting thing.

Speaker 1 And I just wanted to be like, you know what? It's just nice to meet you. Like, I don't need them.
Like, but thank you. And it's, I'm a fan.
It's nice to meet you.

Speaker 1 But of course, instead, I said, when and where, babe, when and where?

Speaker 1 I want to be able to say, no, I've heard that George Clooney does not accept gifting. It's definitely a powerful move.

Speaker 1 And I will say, and this is going to seem unrelatable to folks who are like, you don't want to be gifted by brands. Like, no, they send crap.

Speaker 1 They are trying to just weasel their way into something that they normally need to pay for, right? Which is going to be an advertisement from the incredibly famous Josh Peck.

Speaker 1 And I'm just saying, stop it. Just stop it.
It's enough. You want my man's services? Come up with the stone cold cash.
Yes. Okay.
That's it. Come up with the stone cold cash.
I want to see $100 bills.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't want to see, let me send you some free tea bags.
We don't want your tea bags. No, we can buy our own tea bags.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's enough.
That said, I would take a thousand dollar gift card to Levi's. Like, that's nice.
But I bet you would, Ben. Who wouldn't? That's a nice gift.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, I don't know.
But I don't want one pair of jeans, though. I don't want one pair.
Nope.

Speaker 1 Add this to the list. Unrelatable.
Fuck.

Speaker 1 People are going to be like, you rich assholes. It's not even true.
We're not even rich.

Speaker 1 We're rich for Louisville. We're so poor.

Speaker 1 No, we're fine. We're comfortable.
We're comfortable, but we're not like, I mean,

Speaker 1 we're not those people.

Speaker 1 The last time I saw you wear that shirt, Josh, was when we had Taylor Lautner on. Do you remember that? I didn't own this then, but I did get the shirt from Paige.
Shout out.

Speaker 1 What is wrong with your memory?

Speaker 1 I think I just, it looks like that gray shirt. Is that not gray? It's green.
It's like an olive. It's beautiful, Josh.
God bless you. Thank you so much.
I know it looks good.

Speaker 1 Okay, I won't tell you then. I won't tell you next time.

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Speaker 1 You need to rush out once this podcast is done. Where are you going tonight? Tell me everything.
By the way, I don't need to rush. I'm cool as a cucumber.
We're good. No, we're here.
It's okay.

Speaker 1 Where are you? We got plenty of time. So Claudia has a new ambassadorship with a dog food brand.
I forget the name, but this is the first event. You couldn't know.
She doesn't want to.

Speaker 1 And she doesn't want to show up alone. So I will be there like the first man, first husband that I am supporting her.
And it's all the way downtown. You're so

Speaker 1 off. Sorry.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, like, wait, like way to not know her all the way downtown, Josh. You know, she doesn't go downtown.
We're going all the way. We're talking lower than Chinatown.
In Fi-Dai. So it's far.
It's far.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's in Fi-Dai. It's far.
So I just said, you know, if we can do this at a normal pace, no rush no rush interest

Speaker 1 i'm sweating this room 2000 degrees oh no you've got some nice pit stains which i have a oh my god it's terrible i don't i don't judge you for them dude i'm a schwitzer the other day it was funny i was reading this story to my son Pinnight and it was this British book and so they were talking about jumpers, right?

Speaker 1 Like, oh, little Ian and Jerry were wearing jumpers. And I was like, son, a jumper is a sweater, but it's just like a British term for sweater.

Speaker 1 And he goes, oh, sweater, like when you take walks and then you come home and you've got that spot on the back of your shirt.

Speaker 1 Are you calling me out for sweating? First of all, no, you dummy. But like,

Speaker 1 I was like, that is so classic that he notices that I always come home sweaty. Yeah, look, I'm honestly not even a huge sweater.

Speaker 1 There's just something about the material of the shirt and the warmth coming from the radiators. This is what happens in New York, okay? This is a what are you nuts?

Speaker 1 The second, the second that it becomes October, they crank the heat in these old buildings, in these radiators. And then you're blessed with, we have it's 75 today, Josh, 76 tomorrow, 78 the next day.

Speaker 1 We're blessed with weather. But if it's warm outside and the heat is on, we're going to be schwitzing.
We're going to be schwitzing. It's too hot, too hot.
But it is what it is. It's gorgeous outside.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I'll cool down. I'll be fine.
And so you're going to go to this dog food event. And is this like, are we talking Royal Canine? Are we talking Alpo? Is Alpo something?

Speaker 1 I think it's actually a new dog supplement company. So

Speaker 1 it's not food. We're looking out for the dog's joints.
We're looking out for their spot control.

Speaker 1 I think so. We're looking out for their cholesterol levels.
We could be giving them lines, Maine. I'm really not sure.
I will find out. I will report back.

Speaker 1 We are big, big fans of cognitive canine supplements. Are we doing cognitive? Are we giving the dogs chaga?

Speaker 1 Like, what are we giving the dogs? Echadaya.

Speaker 1 We're going to find out. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 We're going to find out. We're going to find out.
But yeah, all the way downtown. I just, Josh, I just, just got back from the beautiful state of Florida.
I was there for a week.

Speaker 1 And let me tell you something, okay? I have a best bite of the week because it's important. Great.
It's important. Meat market.
Meat market in Boca Raton

Speaker 1 is a 12 out of 10. This was an unbelievable restaurant.
They're sushi, fantastic. Kind of felt like a hillstone.
I got a spinach artichoke dip out of this world. I had a stuffed artichoke.

Speaker 1 These are my favorite things. And then, Josh, ready for this? They had, I know you're going to be like, but sometimes I eat regular steak.
Yes, I do. My kosher is strange.

Speaker 1 They had a kosher steak on the menu, Josh. And you had to get it, did you? I did.
I did. And it was probably slightly worse than if I had gotten just like the regular steak.
But it was delicious.

Speaker 1 It was delicious. And then I had a warm cookie on my way out.
Best spite of the week. It was great.
That said, Florida weather was no bueno. That post-hurricane, it is still not great down there.

Speaker 1 Raining, yucky, no good. But the food, a plus.
I think, and I open this up to the room. I think a restaurant would be

Speaker 1 better off. And this is me, and I have spilkis, as we know.
This is a word for ants in the pants. I got to move.
I got to go. I got to go.
I got to go.

Speaker 1 My perfect job would be if I could do this podcast while walking. I'm serious.

Speaker 1 If we could record it where we would lose all of like the outside sounds or the sounds of a treadmill going, I would rather be walking. I think dessert is a wasted part of dinner at a restaurant.

Speaker 1 I think it takes too long in many cases. I think it can literally elongate the sitting time 30 minutes to an hour, which is just unacceptable to me.
For what? For what? An apple tart?

Speaker 1 For a Fakakta hot lava cake? Let's go.

Speaker 1 So after a two-hour dinner, if they could say, Would you like a dessert to go? We've got homemade donuts, homemade chocolate chip cookies. We make our own sour gummies here.

Speaker 1 We have a what's a patisserie, you know, makes bakery shit. We've got a gummerie where we can make assorting gummies.
You know what I'm saying? Like, give me something for the road.

Speaker 1 If we could do this podcast walking, Josh, we would be longer than Rogan. Because we're both the same in that regard.
We can talk on the phone and talk on the phone and talk on the phone.

Speaker 1 It would be a four-hour podcast. I don't know what we'd be talking about.
It'd be tangent after tangent after tangent, but I think we should try it one time.

Speaker 1 Dessert, totally agreed, completely unnecessary. It also makes me feel like ass.
I had a beautiful dinner. I had a beautiful dinner, filled myself with nourishment.
I had a beautiful salad.

Speaker 1 I had a steak. I had some artichokes.
And then all of a sudden, just load in 250 grams of sugar. And then I go home and I feel like crap.
But I had a beautiful dinner. I'm done with dessert.

Speaker 1 I'm done with it. I'm also done with dessert at night.
I don't want, I don't want to sleep on this chocolate lava cake. I don't want to.
Stop offering it to me.

Speaker 1 If I say that I don't want dessert, say, hey, you know, I'd like some. No, be a friend.
If I don't want dessert, you don't want dessert either. I couldn't agree with you more.

Speaker 1 Now, what about tomorrow? We're recording this on October 30th. So tomorrow is Halloween.
I have kids. I know what my day is going to look like, and it's going to be incredible.

Speaker 1 What does your day look like as a person who's married? And slightly, let's just say, beyond the age of like, let's go rage on Halloween. What does your Halloween look like, Ben?

Speaker 1 Yes. And speaking of raging on Halloween, I have a quick story first.
In New York City, the kids decided to celebrate Halloween last week, Josh. Last weekend was Halloween.
I don't know why.

Speaker 1 I guess maybe because Halloween falls on a Thursday, they decided to celebrate the weekend before. Claudia and I, it's Saturday night.
We fall asleep at 10:30, like kings, okay?

Speaker 1 Watched some only murders, watched some glee, shut off the TV in a deep slumber, deep rem. 12.55.
All of a sudden, I wake up, not from something I'm hearing, but from something I'm feeling, Josh.

Speaker 1 Through, pulsing through my veins. There is a building next to my building where these kids are having a party on the roof.
They must have rented like literally club-level speakers.

Speaker 1 You've never heard anything like this in your life. Pulsing through my veins from 1255 to 1.30.
I'm literally looking at Claudia. I'm like, are we being, are we being interrogated?

Speaker 1 Like, I felt like I was captured and they were interrogating me

Speaker 1 through my chest. It was so awful.
So awful. Somebody must have called the cops because they kicked these lunatics out of here.
I told this story to my dad. He said, what are you such a narc?

Speaker 1 Like, when did you, what's what?

Speaker 1 What's wrong with you? I said, I said, dad, you didn't feel it. If I, if I could hear it, if they were playing meatloafs, I'd do anything for love.
I would have sang along.

Speaker 1 But they're pulsing these deep beats, deep house beats through my veins. It was terrible.
I just said, what am I doing? What am I doing tomorrow night, Josh? I'm having some candy, I'm doing nothing.

Speaker 1 Today, I dressed up as Guy Fieri and I made a filet of fish with caviar on top. So, I'll post a little video for some Halloween cheer.
But, other than that, nada. It's funny.

Speaker 1 I just feel like I got a snapshot of you at 70 on the phone with the police doing the noise complaint, going, Hello, yes. No, they're club-level speakers.

Speaker 1 It would be for a nightclub. That's not loud.

Speaker 1 You have no idea. You have no idea.
It was unbearable. And you know, when you have those beats pulsing from you, I felt the beats for three hours after the music was off.
I felt them, Josh.

Speaker 1 I slept with the beats. I once, when I was out hard charging Vina cliche in my, my drinking and other things life,

Speaker 1 I remember I was like 21 and I went to this club in LA and there was like this big Halloween party there and it was fantastic. And I'm throwing back,

Speaker 1 sucking down cranberry vodkas, you know, just living it up. I'm like, this is delicious.
You don't even taste it. Like, and my UTI is clearing up.
Anyway, so the girls know.

Speaker 1 And so I'm like, I'm having fun and then I'm drinking too much. And then a buddy goes, hey, let's go to this other club, like even cooler.
We're all going to go in. So we pile in the car and we go.

Speaker 1 And someone drives my car because clearly I'm, I'm not in any place to be driving. And so we all get out and we're about to walk into the club.
And I feel this wave of heat come over me.

Speaker 1 And I start to throw up. And I'm throwing up in front of the valets.
They're like

Speaker 1 loving

Speaker 1 every minute of it.

Speaker 1 They're like, where's Drake? And I'll get in.

Speaker 1 She called Drake to help you, bro.

Speaker 1 And I'm just like throwing up. I'm just dead.
And so I like somehow stumble to Hollywood Boulevard and I hail a cab thinking I'm in New York City. No one hails a cab in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 And I get into the cab and we're halfway home and I realize my car, my car is at the club. Like, and I don't have, I don't have keys.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 I tell him, turn around. And so I go back and I'm like, okay, what do I like? I got to sober up.
I'm going to have to wait a couple hours. So I go to Burger King and I walk through.

Speaker 1 I don't have a car now because the taxi has dropped me off. So everything is closed at Burger King except the drive-thru.
So I do the walkthrough, the drive-thru.

Speaker 1 I do like the

Speaker 1 hi.

Speaker 1 Double whopper.

Speaker 1 And I get the food, I eat it. And then I just proceeded to walk back and talk to the valets to like, by the way, I don't have my keys either.
So that was like a real, you know, godsend.

Speaker 1 And I proceeded to talk to the valets for like three hours. And then finally, like they come out of the club.
They're like, where were you? I'm like, oh, no, it was great. I was in there.

Speaker 1 You just didn't see me. They're like, why do you have, why do you have whopper sauce in your face? I'm like, shut up, Chad.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 they gave me my keys. And eventually I waited and sobered up and went home.
But that was my Halloween. Pretty cute.
I'm literally so upset that I didn't know, like, I left my keys at the club, Josh.

Speaker 1 Like, that makes me sad. Like, I want to know him.
I want to be with him. But Halloween, I normally love Halloween.
We, Claudia and I, wear a duo. We dress up.
We love it. Last year, we were Mr.

Speaker 1 Sheffield and Fran Fine. Sure.
In the past, we were Dr. Phil and Danielle Bergoli.
I don't know if you've seen those. We've been DJ Khaled, and she was Assad Khaled.
We do it up. Wow.
That's amazing.

Speaker 1 We do it up and we love it. But yeah, this year, taking the year off, no Halloween for us, except actually the toast will have already aired.

Speaker 1 We are doing, every year on the toast, they dress up for Halloween. And they are being Annie.
And what the hell is Annie's twin sister, Lindsay Lohan's twin sister from the parent trap?

Speaker 1 Oh, what is her name?

Speaker 1 Hallie, Hallie. Hallie and Annie.
And I'm being Aunt Jesse. If you remember the.

Speaker 1 Oh, Aunt Jesse. Very cute.
So I'll be Aunt Jesse. And oh, last year I was also Ina Garten.
I love dressing as a woman. This is something that I've learned about myself.
Halloween,

Speaker 1 I have to be Mrs. Doubtfire.
That's one that's on my list that I haven't been yet.

Speaker 1 This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Caraway. Folks, you know that in Savra household, in the Good Guys studio, in the Peck household, we love Caraway.

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Speaker 1 Do you want to unpack and then eat some food or eat some food and then unpack or eat while unpacking? I can eat in my room. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Paranop is such a great movie. It's sick.
It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable.
Unbelievable. Fantastic.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And like Lindsey Lohan was a national treasure and her butler Martin was unbelievable and Aunt Jesse and everybody and her rich ass dad. God, he was so rich.

Speaker 1 I'm going to show you a really funny picture. So my wife has the thing where she doesn't want to do anything for Halloween up until the morning of the 31st.
And then all of a sudden,

Speaker 1 it's like, sound the alarms. What are we doing? What what are we dressing as and i'm like oh my god so

Speaker 1 she goes this was 10 years ago she's like i'm gonna be like a funny like fitness influencer from you know instagram or whatever right okay at this time

Speaker 1 i go okay and i was like well i don't want to i was like maybe i'll just like i don't know like get i i was shooting grandfathered at the time right so i'm doing this show so i have access to an incredible makeup department who's very very nice and i'm just like i said to the makeup department i'm like i'm not gonna go like can you give me something like i don't know like paint my face with something like silly or whatever now i had done the year before i had gone as a devil with john stamos and like it was cool because i just did the eyes it's just kind of sexy and cool and it was like perfect really perfect look at the photo here Okay.

Speaker 1 And then the next year, I go to the makeup department. I'm like, would you mind like just like whatever would take like 10 minutes?

Speaker 1 I don't, I don't want you to, they're like, oh, no, no, we'd love to. So generous, so nice.
Let me show you what my wife wore to this party and what I fucking look like.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I look like I look like Eddie Munster.

Speaker 1 You look insane.

Speaker 1 She was like in a tube top, not a a tube top, she was in a tank top on like a hoverboard with like, what was it, those detox tees that they used to sell on Instagram.

Speaker 1 And I literally look like Frankenstein. Like it's crazy.
Wait, Josh, now I need to show you, and we'll put up both of these pictures. I need to show you are Dr.
Phil and Danielle Bergoli.

Speaker 1 Have you not seen that picture? No, I want it. Like, okay.
Oh, that's unreal.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's really so good. So good, right? That's really good.
Oh my God. What are you going to do guys, Olivia? What are you and Ethan doing?

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh. Well, I also was one of the young kids that went out last weekend.
I dressed up as Charlie XCX from the 360 music video. She's got like red wine spilled on a tank top.
It was kind of easy.

Speaker 2 So I was planning on doing that again tomorrow. But to be honest with you, I have always wanted to do Amelia Earhart and the Bermuda Triangle.
It's so easy to straw a little triangle on the t-shirt.

Speaker 2 So I think I'm going to talk him into that tomorrow night for the Weho block party.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.
My parents also used to dress up. I have to find these pictures, but one year they went as a pencil and a paintbrush.

Speaker 1 So innocent.

Speaker 1 They are. They are.
Sweet people. But yeah, are you a fan of the ultra makeup? Like, were you ever like really

Speaker 1 like?

Speaker 1 No, never. Not you.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I seriously, if I got offered a part, if the part was incredible, incredible, I probably would do it, but I wouldn't want to.

Speaker 1 Like, I think it would have to be like on some Nolan level shit for me to do something where they were like, it's going to be three to four hours of makeup every day for three months.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's awful. But like one day for Halloween, I think it's because you are in the business of being somebody else.

Speaker 1 But like for us regulars, like dressing up as somebody else for a day and playing a part is so fun. I love Halloween.
That's why these hooligans listening to Deep House ruined it for me.

Speaker 1 That's not Halloween. I don't know what the hell that is.
Like some weird, like, ecstasy trip. That's not Halloween.
That's not goblins and ghouls. That's not spooky season.

Speaker 1 That's like a load of crap. Like, what are you doing? It's so funny.
Hooligans. It's so funny because Alexa, you know, from Amazon, the Amazon Alexa.

Speaker 1 My friend Alexa, she does things for me.

Speaker 1 My personal assistant, Alexa.

Speaker 1 My kids love Alexa and all day. It's just like, Ayexa, like do this, Alexa.
And so they did this fun thing for, what do you call it?

Speaker 1 They did this fun thing for Halloween where for the last month, you could be like, Alexa, do you detect a ghost? And then they'd be like, oh, there's a ghost in your office. Like, ooh.

Speaker 1 And so first I messed up because I bought my kids both Halloween cards. I love off-brand holiday cards, right? Like, you wouldn't normally get a card for Halloween.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't even know that existed.

Speaker 1 I love it. It's kayak.

Speaker 1 And then, like, so my little guy, I got a cocoa melon Halloween card, and my older son, I think, like a Ninja Turtles one.

Speaker 1 And so, I wrote, and I put a $2 bill in each, and I wrote, like, have a happy Halloween, love,

Speaker 1 mom, dad, and Casper. And in parentheses, I wrote, I'm friendly.
And,

Speaker 1 my son read this fucking card and was like, who's Casper?

Speaker 1 And I'm like, friendly ghost. And he's like, I don't like that.
And I was like, he's like, this ghost sending me money?

Speaker 1 It was like the mob

Speaker 1 reached out to my son. It was like, here's a little bit of money.
There might be a time where I need a favor from you. And I hope that you will remember this kind deed.

Speaker 1 Like, so he was like, I don't want the money. I don't know who this Casper is.

Speaker 1 Leave me out of it.

Speaker 1 So then, and my son, my older son, Max, is like pretty non-plus. Like, he's not an emotional kid.
He's like pretty wonderfully stoic. And so I did the thing with Alexa.

Speaker 1 I'm like, hey, Max, look at this. Like, Alexa, do you detect a ghost? And he was like, no,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 1 And he ran. I've never seen him run like this.
Basically, my son can't be alone anymore. I've completely ruined him.

Speaker 1 He was not scared of anything. Now he's terrified of ghosts.
And I kept trying to tell him, oh, ghosts, I basically kept shrinking the lie, right? I was like, oh, ghosts are really friendly.

Speaker 1 Didn't work. I was like, well, ghosts only come in October, the week of, or the month of Halloween.
Doesn't work. So finally, we're laying in bed one night and I go, hey, Max.

Speaker 1 He goes, yeah, I go, ghosts don't exist. And he goes, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 And I was like, They're like a character, they're like Super Mario, but they don't, they're not actually like in our life, they don't exist.

Speaker 1 He goes, Well, I told my teacher about it, and I was like, What? He's like, And I told my friend Bennett and my friend Olivia and my buddy Jack. He's like, What'd you tell him?

Speaker 1 He's like, That this guy, Casper, won't leave me alone. He keeps trying to give me money

Speaker 1 that's parenting.

Speaker 1 Oh my God,

Speaker 1 He's ruined. That's so good.
I can just picture him like losing a tooth, putting his tooth under the pillow. He gets 100 bucks or five bucks, whatever it is, two bucks.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, no, I don't want to be in debt. Yeah.
Take it back. Take it back.
Take it back. He like, he lifts up his pillow and goes, no such thing as a free lunch.
Just close your pillow.

Speaker 1 Pretty pragmatic. But it's so fun, dude.
Like, I will say I think that the two greatest nights a year for a parent is Halloween night and Christmas Eve with your kids.

Speaker 1 And so, tomorrow, I'm so looking forward in the morning at my son's school, his elementary school. They're having a Halloween parade.

Speaker 1 So, we'll be going to that with all the kids dressed up. Max is going as Michelangelo from Ninja Turtles.
And then, Shai is going to be Elmo, which I guess there'll be two Elmos in the family.

Speaker 1 Won't there?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you're the Elmo from my nightmare.

Speaker 1 I'm going to kill you!

Speaker 1 La la la! La la la la!

Speaker 1 La la la! La la la la!

Speaker 1 It looks like you're jerking off Big Bird.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 La la la! La la!

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Jim Henson, such a genius.
And two assholes are totally disparaging his legacy.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. And then we go trick-or-treating.

Speaker 1 We go trick-or-treating tomorrow night. It's going to be fun.
I'm going to eat so much of their candy. What? So this is the thing.
You have exposed Max to the world of really special candies, right?

Speaker 1 Like you'll bring home these like cool, intricate. Does he still like regular candy? Is he a fan of the normies?

Speaker 1 Yes. And it's such a novelty.
Like to him, you know, like for me, right? If you were like, oh, we have an organic lollipop or like some healthy gummies, I'm like, ooh, yes.

Speaker 1 But like for him to give, get given a twix

Speaker 1 or, you know, just like a random Snickers, he's like, wow, this is, this is exciting. This is huge.
And what does trick-or-treating look like in Los Angeles?

Speaker 1 Like in the city, you'd go as a kid up and down buildings, honestly, an incredible amount of candy in a small place.

Speaker 1 You'd leave with hefty bags what does it look like in LA and are people nice they're very nice you have to basically because LA is so spread out I imagine it'd be like Florida maybe you have to go to a neighborhood that's kind of all agreed that you know for four or five blocks they're all gonna be in on it so you go like in LA there's Toluca Lake there's parts of Beverly Hills.

Speaker 1 You find these residential pockets and you just go, you go ham. I live by the beach and so all the houses are really really close together.

Speaker 1 So there are streets that are just like walk streets, basically. They have them in Santa Monica and other beach towns.

Speaker 1 And so it's not open to cars, but basically, everything gets dressed up and done up. It looks so cool.
There's thousands of kids running around, grabbing different things.

Speaker 1 And it's really, it's, it's really an awesome time. It's just a pretty wild concept.

Speaker 1 Like, I've never met you before, but I'm going to knock on your door with my my five-year-old and hope that you don't steal us and kill us. Like,

Speaker 1 maybe that's just the cynic in me. The more I think about trick-or-treating, too spooky.
It is the cynic in you.

Speaker 1 It is an, if you think about it, there is not another single day in the entire calendar year where a stranger gives you something for free. Anything.
Anything. Nothing.
Totally. Nothing.
Nada.

Speaker 1 Not even the most, not on Christmas, not on Yum Kipper. Not on Easter.
Not on a federal, not on July 4th. Maybe you get somebody to throw you a cold one if you're lucky.

Speaker 1 On Yom Kippur, they'll give you guilt. Yes.

Speaker 1 Now, growing up in the city, when we were like in the building I grew up with, or grew up in, there was a list downstairs and it had all the apartments that were going to give out candy.

Speaker 1 Is that what you had? Yep, exactly. And we, we always, Claudia loves it.
We always check our name off. She goes, buys a bunch of candy, fills up our big pumpkin bowl or whatever.
And you know what?

Speaker 1 Some years, because we move in the city, you move, we've had buildings where no kids come and it's so sad. And we've had buildings where kids come in troves and she loves it.

Speaker 1 She is the trick-or-treat queen. She loves to be on the giving end of the candy.
Yes. Loves it.
Absolutely loves it. I know that your favorites, you, and by your favorites, I mean you hate them.

Speaker 1 Big Justice, Big AJ and the Rizzler. Did you see that that they were giving out Vita Cocos? Nuts.
They were giving out coconut water? Yep. Nuts.
Well, good for them.

Speaker 1 I'm sure that's a massive brand deal. I love, I literally, Josh, I'm sorry.
I love the, I love the Rizzler. I love him.
Great.

Speaker 1 I love him. I love him.
He went on Fallon, and I'm just like, I love him. I'm wishing him the best, this eight-year-old.

Speaker 1 Well, did you hear that from losing teeth to free-falling, these are the most common nightmares and how to cope with them.

Speaker 1 Talk about the witching hour, losing teeth, falling from heights, being chased. Those are some of the most common nightmares that plague sleepers.

Speaker 1 From a survey of 2,000 people conducted last year, the most common nightmare reported by just over 64% of respondents was being chased or feeling lost.

Speaker 1 Other frequent nightmares include missing an important event, waking up late, paralysis, or your teeth falling out or a house fire. Yikes.

Speaker 1 Dreams are typically a reaction to stress, medication, mental health conditions, or poor sleep.

Speaker 1 And experts suggest that the feeling of falling or dreaming of falling is a response to the body relaxing and falling asleep, which is often followed by the person suddenly jerking awake.

Speaker 1 I heard, I don't remember what it means, but if you lose your teeth in your dream, it's bad news. It's a bad sign.
Like, that's bad. Yeah.
What is it? I'm going to Google that. What does

Speaker 1 it mean?

Speaker 1 If you lose your teeth? Yep, in a dream. Dreaming about losing your teeth often signifies feelings of insecurity, stress, anxiety.
No, no, no, there's there's something can't relate.

Speaker 1 In the Christian Bible, the loss of teeth is often associated with loss, especially the loss of one's wisdom. Wow.
Interest. That's that's deep.

Speaker 1 I am, I'm sure that now I'm going to get nightmares because I'm going to say that I haven't had a nightmare in a while, but I haven't had a nightmare in a while me either and i'm thankful for that because they suck and probably like the worst dreams i've ever had i've had like a dream of like a parent dying and you wake up and that was that's like awful and then another

Speaker 1 like that i i had like this like recurring nightmare that like i never handed in my final and like i never graduated like i don't know if that's like a relatable thing but I like those were those were the only ones that I've really ever had.

Speaker 1 But I'm lucky that I haven't had them in a while. Josh, do you have nightmares? I don't have nightmares.
I do. I mean, I know that I do, but I never remember my dreams, good or bad.

Speaker 1 And I dream, I know that I'm dreaming, but I don't remember them. What about you, Olivia?

Speaker 2 I do from time to time.

Speaker 1 I actually had a really like, I had a nightmare last week that P.

Speaker 2 Diddy was a guest on one of our podcasts and I had to field all of the questions.

Speaker 1 That's so funny.

Speaker 2 And get him out of the building.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 I'm just

Speaker 1 saying.

Speaker 1 That was the

Speaker 2 I was like, how did you get him out of, like, did he get a furlough or what? Like, we had to get him out of here.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, P. Diddy, if you are looking to come on a podcast, we welcome you.
Oh, my

Speaker 1 spot.

Speaker 1 They wheel him in like Hannibal Ector.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was awful.

Speaker 2 I was so scared the whole time.

Speaker 1 That is terrifying. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I would have like recurring nightmares about the test thing or like turning in a final. I've had that before, like thinking I didn't graduate.

Speaker 2 But yeah, I would always like be in the backseat of a car and there's not a driver, which is crazy that Waymo is a thing now. But like that was my recurring nightmare as a child.

Speaker 1 Wow. I don't know what that says.
No good. No good.

Speaker 1 I too don't remember my dreams, but I'm telling you, Josh, they're sweet. They're lovely dreams.
I believe you. I'm sure you've been in my dreams.
Have I been in yours? Non-stop. And my daydreams.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was just making sure that it wasn't just Len, you and Len frolicking in a field. Hey, did you hear that one in three adults say they'd sign a sex NDA to keep kinks a secret?

Speaker 1 We're naked and ashamed. A whopping 95% of sex havers participating in a spicy news survey.

Speaker 1 admitted to being at least somewhat kinky, while more than 60% said they were too embarrassed or worried to share their dirty desires with a partner.

Speaker 1 The findings presented by some app found that 51% of of the 2,000 respondents quizzed confessed to being afraid their other half would react badly and that they would possibly do an NDA if they could.

Speaker 1 Oh, sorry, 37% said they would happily sign an NDA before beginning a new relationship to ensure their secrets stay behind closed doors. Wow, that's, I'm out.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's just because I'm too old-fashioned. I'm out.
I don't want it.

Speaker 1 It's weird. Yeah, I mean, maybe I'm not wild enough, but I just would be like, you know,

Speaker 1 what are you going to talk about me? That, you know, that I make you tell me that you're actually 50 when you're 35. Like, so what? Oh, I'm the weirdo.
You know what I mean? It's not that crazy.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I have no idea. I have no idea.
What? I walk around naked all the time. So what?

Speaker 1 So what? I'm naked in the kitchen. I don't know.
I just think like, do you walk around naked?

Speaker 1 And second, and second question, how does walking around naked change when you have children?

Speaker 1 It doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 And I, you know, sometimes I will fall asleep in some form of

Speaker 1 undress at night. But

Speaker 1 last night, my son, like, my son has a cough.

Speaker 1 That when he doesn't feel good, he'll have a cough that reverberates around the house. Like, I could turn the alarm off because that cough will,

Speaker 1 they'll send help. They'll hear it from the corner store.
And so whether it's a cough, whether my little guy, you know, needs something in the middle of the night, whether, and it's a house, right?

Speaker 1 So you can't, like, if you hear something, you sort of have to go check. I'm, I'm rarely naked.
I'm never naked at night. I can't sleep naked.
That's nuts to me. I just don't get it.
I don't get it.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I get out of the shower. And, you know, sometimes before I get dressed, I mosey around.
You can catch me. Just, it's, it's fine.
You catch me, dude.

Speaker 1 I, I can just see you, and you haven't completely dried off. So there's like a slight, there's a thin sheen of moisture over your beautiful porcelain cheeks.

Speaker 1 And you're running around like you're in a rom-com. Yep.

Speaker 1 I'm never, I'm never perfectly dry. I don't know how to do it.
How do you get perfectly dry? You're too tall for that. You're not getting crevices.
You're in

Speaker 1 a crevice. And I can't reach my feet.
So my feet are soaking wet.

Speaker 1 Just traipsing water foot marks all over the hardwood. Like, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I don't know how we got here.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 why don't we do one speakpipe and then we'll get to what are you nuts? Perfect. Yep.
All right. If you want to ask us a question, get some advice, go to speakpipe.com slash good guys.
Keep it brief.

Speaker 1 Brevity is key. And maybe we will air your question on the air.
This one's from Kennedy.

Speaker 4 Hey, good guys. I'm going to be as brief as possible, but this story is insane.
So my best friend's best friend, her name is Tammy, recently lost her husband. Let's call him Sean.

Speaker 4 Both of them are not real names. Sean was diagnosed with a health condition about two months ago and then passed suddenly.

Speaker 4 Her and Sean have a little baby together who is one years old, absolutely heartbreaking, came out of nowhere. Here's the kicker.
The husband, Sean, was supposed to be in an Italian wedding next year.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 One week after Sean passes, the lovely couple decides to tell the 26-year-old widow Tammy that she has now no plus one because they rescinded her late husband's wedding invite.

Speaker 4 Are we kidding me? Did we need more space in the villa? Like, did they want a honeymoon upgrade? I am genuinely so floored.

Speaker 4 I think that they thought, oh, perfect. Like, he passed away.
Now we have like a room for so-and-so's sister's cousin. Let's bring him.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine? They're like, yes, cholera.

Speaker 1 I just need to know, were they friends with Sean or were they friends with Tammy, Josh? Clearly, Sean.

Speaker 1 Okay, so then...

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't even think Tammy would have gone anyways.
What are they doing?

Speaker 1 Leave this woman alone like to to rescind is nuts totally nuts to switch it to yeah you think that this woman recently widowed is going to travel to italy to come to your wedding alone like that's the part that's insane i couldn't agree more it do less couple um do less she wasn't coming anyways and what i would say is if you have a spouse who passes away which is awful This is one of the rare times where you as a couple go, let's say she does decide to come to the wedding and not only that, decides to use her plus one to bring a friend to give her some emotional support because she wanted to come to the wedding because it was something that her husband really wanted to do.

Speaker 1 Let it go. Like that plate is already paid for.
But I will say in all other scenarios, and someone tried to pull this in my wedding and I was like, what are you nuts?

Speaker 1 Someone's wife or husband couldn't come. And they were like, do you mind if I bring someone? And I was like, I do.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Like, you can come, but if your wife's not going to come, like, no, you can't just bring some rando. Yes.
Which is honestly probably what they were thinking. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's definitely a little dicey. Okay.
There's somebody dies. Like, give some grace.
But Tammy's going to bring Linda and the couple doesn't know Linda. And now you have Linda and Tammy.

Speaker 1 They don't know Linda. It's dicey, Josh.
It's dicey.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm saying this is a very specific thing where when someone is bereaved, maybe you roll the dice and go, they're going to bring a support friend.

Speaker 1 Like, it's going to be odd, but we're going to have to suck it up because she just lost her partner.

Speaker 1 It's wild.

Speaker 1 That is. See, folks, this is a speak pipe.
This is excellent. Great job.
Even if you made up Tammy and Sean, the name Tammy also shivers down my spine. I don't know if you know a Tammy.

Speaker 1 I don't want to know a Tammy. I don't want it.
What's Tammy short for? Tamaland? Nothing good. Tamara? Tammy's short for nothing good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't want to know her. I don't want to know Tammy.
You got a what are you nuts, Josh? Yes. Besides naming your daughter Tammy? My Tammy Beck.
TP.

Speaker 1 My what are you nuts is kids' sports. My son, God bless him.
He plays on a, he's five years old. He plays on a soccer league.
This is, I don't need to say, it's all for fun. This is all fun, right?

Speaker 1 Kids are having fun, but they're not because my son's team is garbage.

Speaker 1 We have lost every single game and it's a blowout, everyone. Now, he played last year and it was cute because he was like barely four and him and his little buddies, the way they would play.

Speaker 1 It was just like. It was so sweet and you didn't expect much.
But now around five is when kids get coordinated and we are not good.

Speaker 1 good and i have now gotten to if we're getting so blown out by halftime i start suggesting a forfeit i go let's call it guys like come on can we go like are any of us having fun and wouldn't you nuts i'm telling you if you're if your kids team is getting blown out and the game means nothing forfeit it should just be it should be implied if they're losing by more than five we forfeit josh i think that this one's on you you need to be recruiting i don't know if you've seen kicking and screaming but you need to find that five-year-old italian stallion the future messi and you got to bring him to max's team you need to revive them i don't think i don't know if it's happening

Speaker 1 it's not looking good then

Speaker 1 okay well my what of you nuts is electric cars again look i'll drive them okay they're fine the second that i need to charge them we're not ready for these cars, folks. We're not ready.
I get it.

Speaker 1 If you have a Tesla charger, oh, good for you. If you have a regular non-Tesla electric car and you're trying to charge it, here's what's going to happen.
Okay, Josh, you're going to go.

Speaker 1 You're probably going to go to a shopping center. You're going to plug in your car.
You're going to wait 55 minutes in the fast charger for it to charge your car.

Speaker 1 It's going to cost you about 60 bucks. But what are you doing, Josh, during those 55 minutes, huh? You're going to your target and you're spending $300 because what do you do with 55 minutes?

Speaker 1 You're not supposed to sit in the car because apparently the Rays, they're going to mess with your brain. Okay.
So I ended up spending $360

Speaker 1 just to fill a tank. What are you, nuts? We're not ready.
Or maybe it's me. What am I nuts? Do I have a spending problem?

Speaker 1 You might.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, we all need to go.
Like, for instance, my supercharger in my town is right next to a Macy's. I love a Macy's.

Speaker 1 I love, love, love love love it i go to the furniture section i look at the home goods i go buy the perfumes i don't buy nothing i just browse just browse babe macy's is a good place to browse target's not a good place to browse you're not browsing at target but you're putting these things in your car

Speaker 1 you always need stuff at target yeah sure you also need what are you buying from the chip and jojo collection i'm buying anything anything i see oh i need a new tv no you don't put down the electronics Ben.

Speaker 1 You don't need them. Take us home.
Well, folks, if you are going to rate five stars, this episode certainly wasn't it.

Speaker 1 I'm just kidding. Five stars.
Otherwise, what are you nuts? What are you here for? Support us. Five stars or get lost.
Okay, listen to us on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 Watch us on Josh's YouTube. You got to see us interacting, laughing.
We're having a great time. We have so much pizzazz.
TikTok and Instagram. Watch our clips.
Share our clips. Okay.

Speaker 1 Mondays Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.
Love you, booby. Love you.
Bye.

Speaker 5 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Speaker 5 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.