
Toothless with the Saudi Prince?!
Welcome back, morons! It's Thursday and OH BOY, do we have a treat of an episode for you today. We're talking Paris Fashion Week, the shocking politician Ben's Uber driver mistook him for, candied apples, and much, much more.
Plus, we're answering YOUR Speakpipes about everything from a Psychedelic Camp in the Poconos to Email Blasting your Baby Shower. You're telling me you don't wanna witness Ben discover Seasonal Affective Disorder? What are ya NUTS?!
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Full Transcript
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The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Josh Peck.
And I'm Ben Soffer. And we're the good guys.
There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones.
Moths and morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast podcast i'm sitting here with someone whose girth is as big as his heart it's ben ben zomper i expect to catch a stray bullet i say girth like girth oh okay well sure It's as big. It's big.
Don't ever get quiet like that again.
It's meaty.
It's good.
Now you have everybody thinking of my Johnson.
Cut this out, Olivia.
Cut it all out.
We'll just start the podcast here.
Hey guys, it was weird at first
and now we're starting the podcast.
No kidding.
Josh, how does your penis look?
Good?
Stop it. It's nuts.
i said it in a cute way you're crazy it looks fine it's it's just totally normal we need to talk about this t-shirt give us the history of the chess club t-shirt tell us where you got it this was a gift from my wife it's from the fashion label emily on door emorre from, I believe it's a New York streetwear brand. I tried to go actually check out the store when I was in Soho.
And there was a line outside and they said you needed to make a reservation for the store. And because I stand on business, I went and got a slice of pizza instead.
So big fan of their clothes. I do order them off the net, not from the store, not making a res.
I thought it was like merch from one of your guys.
I do.
I am a chess player, so I did just love,
but I don't believe the Triborough Chess Club exists.
Oh, I couldn't even see Triborough Chess Club.
I couldn't see Triborough.
Fantastic.
I also have an Aime D'Landor.
Is that what it is?
Aime D'Landor?
Aime D'Landor? is? Amy Dylondor? Amy Dylondor? Duh. Amy Dylondor? I once went into their store, nothing fit.
Yeah, I get that. Nothing fit.
It's just like, it's those brands. And I haven't been since I have shed a couple of pounds.
You really look svelte. There was that classic brand, Paul Smith, Ring a Bell.
I'd try their shirts. A medium, like the XL is a medium.
Well, it's a British cut. Yeah, it's no good.
I don't like the British cut. I don't even like the British.
You haven't lived till you've worn a triple XL Gucci shirt like I have. I have.
I have plenty of triple XL Gucci sweatshirts. Fantastic.
Speaking of high-end fashion, did you go to any Fashion Week events over the last month, Ben? I did. I did.
I actually went to plenty and one of them was really, really sick. And the rest of them were, ah.
Really? Just like, yeah, you just like pop in, you take a picture, you leave leave but we went to this one event cynthia rally and cynthia is a friend and this event was so cool it was on the river she got like 25 cadillacs josh and used their lights it was at night use the lights the headlights from the cadillacs to light the show cool it was sick and also it's just like it was like cool to like you know just to be cool you know be there cool celeb just like with celeb passes just like being doing celeb things like it is what it is I have a hard time because I don't want to do any of those things ever for the rest of my life but my wife who isn't that way is normal. And so she can appreciate a one off cool event here and there.
And she wants to go. So next New York Fashion Week, you come.
We'll do it together. The kids will figure it out.
We'll figure it out. I don't yet have a plan for them.
But honestly, it's cool to be like a young, hip family that brings your six-year-old to a Fashion Week event. We'll dress him head to toe in Prada.
I know. That would be sick.
But I don't think it's cool to bring kids to grown-up things at all. No, me neither.
No, me neither. I think it's terrible.
It sucks. I went to Paris Fashion Week.
Wow. Whoa.
That's the big one. Yeah, babe.
Yeah. That's sick.
What was itd what was it like it was cool uh first of all there was a lot of pressure on what i was gonna wear and i am not a fashionista but i had a really good like european cut ralph lauren purple label suit that i wore a cool cool shirt underneath who knows and we went to a we went to like two fashion shows a couple parties the worst and i'll never forget we page and i just got engaged and we spend the whole night out and we're at this party and we're at some like saudi rich kids table random like someone like brought us over we're sitting there and they're handing out glasses of champagne and they go to cheers and, you know, sober Sally
over here doesn't know what to do with his arms.
So everyone goes to like, take a swig of the champagne.
And I'm like, yeah.
And I smack the back of the champagne into my wife's mouth.
And she literally, I'm talking drenched, like boosh, like a wave of champagne just drenches her. And I'm like, oh, this is this cannot be fixed.
Like we need to go. And and she's all done up and she looked incredible.
And I was like, in that moment, I'm like, maybe she calls off the engagement. Yeah, that's that's bad josh that's no good the truth is the way that you set it up i thought you like broke three of her front teeth so like the delivery it it softened the blow i was like oh my god he pushed this fucking champagne flute into her front teeth and she's toothless with the saudi prince that's the name of this episode.
Toothless with the Saudi prince.
It was not, it was not hot. And then we went to Italy the next day and they lost all our luggage.
And so it basically like, it was a kind of a one-two punch. That's unfortunate.
When it rains,
it pours. Why is it like that, Josh? Why when one bad things happens, does another, does another,
does another. And why on the flip side, when it's good, oh, it's good.
Why is that? I've heard this
Thank you. Why when one bad thing happens, does another, does another, does another? And why on the flip side, when it's good, oh, it's good.
Why is that? I've heard this said before, and you can tell me what you think about this one, young Ben. A good day is when everything goes your way and you have a great mood about it.
A great day is when nothing goes your way and you still keep that great mood. Thoughts? That is incredibly losery.
No, I think it's good perspective. It's important.
It's important to stay. I like to stay to say staying even keeled, never getting too high, never getting too low, just floating in here, I think is best.
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Speaking of floating, this past week, Josh,
I don't know if you've noticed
because I've complained incessantly about it on Instagram.
The sun had not been out for the last eight days in New York. We're talking zero.
You wake up in the dark. I don't remember the last time that this happened.
Zero. And it really affected my mood.
Like I couldn't believe it. I was lethargic.
I was, dare I say, a little bit sad. It was very strange.
I was having a very weird reaction to the to the lack of sun. And the sun came out this morning.
And dare I say, I almost cried. I literally like looked at the sun.
I couldn't have appreciated the sun more if I tried. My mood, I don't know if you can tell.
I am chipper today. I am fantastic.
I'm awake. I'm happy.
And I'm also thinking that maybe I have a slight mental disorder. You being sad would really scare me because you are just at a resting joy and you're stoked on bowling or like, you know, just like kind of the good things that life has to offer.
That being said, I've never been more convinced now more than ever that you live in a cesspool of misery. And you cannot garner, you cannot wrestle happiness out of that unforgiving place that you live.
And I think you need to take a sojourn and live somewhere else for a while. I feel that deeply.
It's possible, but like weather's bad everywhere. I just need sun.
I didn't realize quite how much I needed the sun. And this leads me to my next point, Josh.
Google AI, unbelievable. I don't need anything ever again but Google AI.
I Google. All of my just, I'm terrified, right? I'm Googling.
Can lack of sun cause depression? Google AI gives me a whole list. Yes, it can, but have no fear.
When the sun comes back out, you'll be totally fine again. Google AI is literally just like a person with Munchausen's wet dream.
Yeah, I mean, you know, there are light bulbs, certain light bulbs that you can get that will mimic the sun and give you some of those good feelings you're seeking. What are you, my mom talking to me at nine o'clock this morning? Me and Ava are on the same page.
She said, look up these light bulbs. They're not new.
I'm a 70 year old Jewish mother. Yeah.
She just said, they're not new. They exist.
This is not a unique problem to you. You can absolutely solve it.
Go and buy this light. I, Ben, I love you so much and you are a perfect boy.
And the level in which you are sheltered sometimes is mind blowing to me. And it's so cute that you thought seasonal affective disorder was created by you and only affected you.
I think that I've never heard it for a single week. Have you? I've heard it for a long period.
Seasonal depression. I thought that that was a whole season.
I'm talking about week by week. Yeah, people.
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down. Who sang that? James Taylor? I love him.
Karen Carpenter. Karen sounds like a real bitch.
I think it was Karen. Well, she's not with us anymore, so wow.
Okay, fine. All that I'm saying is, if you have seasonal depression, I see you.
And I'm the new face of a new drug. You're the face of seasonal depression? Imagine this was all a big pharmaceutical ad, except there's no
pharmaceutical for it because the sun comes out eventually. By the way, Josh, it sounds like
you're one of the toxic people that takes the sun for granted. Yeah.
The sun will always come out
until it doesn't. Yeah.
Then what? I think you need to leave New York City. I think it would
change you in such a great way. It's a suffocating hellscape where you live.
We just need a new mayor. A mayor that doesn't let the sun not shine for a week.
I'm just saying if this was Bloomberg, he would have created the sun. Okay, let's zero in.
And you can't go to the typical places. You can't go to Miami, and you can't go to LA.
Okay. Let me think.
You can't go to Boston. Like we need, I just go to like Westchester or you're saying I need to get out of the state.
You could do Westchester, but like, let's do something fun. Let's be weird.
Like, would you ever, if I'm, if I'm leaving New York, I like to be on the coast. You can catch me inland i don't want it so i'm talking i'm
thinking okay fair fair enough joshy travel agent here we go savannah georgia inland no no it's on
the coast atlanta's inland got it i could fuck with savannah yeah savannah's cool sure could
how many jews are in savannah olivia's checking Just Google Chabad, Savannah. The Chabad, but I need a flourishing Jewish population.
4,000. You could be the king of them.
You'd be like a gang. That's actually like, it's interesting.
The fewer Jews, the more you can wrangle them. I sound like Hitler.
You know, that was the thing. We've talked about this, that after World War II, there were organizations that put Jewish communities in places you wouldn't expect, like Oklahoma, like random ass areas so that, you know, we couldn't all be like, they couldn't just go to Long Island and be like found them all even though that's literally what happened right what else is coastal savannah is
interesting i'm trying to think what else is down that's if i want to be southeast what about like
what about would you ever do like i mean it's not it's you can't live in cape cod you're not gonna
live in maine i know you you're not a maine guy no newport what'd you say olivia virginia beach that sounds nice newport on the virginia beach newport rhode island lovely ah lovely lovely rhode island is lovely but if i'm gonna be northeast i'm gonna stay where i am right i need to leave the northeast it's savannah babe it's savannah i i cracked it what about like yeah okay i'm gonna move to savannah i don't know where i make sense except for los angeles and i just you make sense in in canada yeah you're canadian i'm so canadian it's crazy i'm tim hortons i'm watching the fucking leafs and i'm like protesting justin trudeau bong yeah yeah you're you're put it in the canadian you're canadian i think i'm trying to think of where in canada vancouver it's the only place to live the coves is that what they call it the coves they should v town should. V-Town.
I'm going to the Cooves. Van City.
Wow, that's cool. Famous Vancouver Knights.
Seth Rogen. Ryan Reynolds.
Seth Rogen. I mean, that's a good list.
It's not bad. No, those are two.
It's a good list. We've talked about- Honestly, anything Ryan Reynolds does, I'm in.
That guy's a genius. The guy can't lose.
No, he's one of the few that really just has figured it out he's like a rock he's underratedly like the rock maybe ryan reynolds is mint mobile you and i start a wireless carrier we're mint chip mobile i'm in i like it it sounds delicious like hey we're gonna overcharge you for wireless but you're gonna get free ice cream that's not terrible limited data and then we sell all the data back to the semi-glutide companies so they know who to shoot yeah that's so different yeah makes sense to me what okay this is a fun question i feel like we need to reinvent the ice cream shop slightly now we're always doing flavors right you go to some artisan brooklyn place they're like we have blue cheese we have caesar salad ice cream you're like fucking miss me brother oh oh we have rosemary and gen z tears ice cream you know it's great
you know i i'm not a fan i think they need to have standard flavors but we need to recreate the vessel because i'm not sure the cone is really coming through in the end for us I think that Cold Stone had it right.
That is the best way to approach an ice cream shop. I just think that they made it a little bit too complicated.
Okay. Like you don't need to do it in front of me.
You can easily blend it. Like you can have a blender.
Like just take the scoop of vanilla, the scoop of chocolate, the Twix bar, the Milky Way, put it in a blender, pulse once, take it out and give it to me. I don't need like this, like cold marble, these shovels, the show, all that.
I think they did a little too much. But the perfect ice cream shop is you get it your way.
However you want it, it's yours. And of course, we have recommendations on the walls.
We have the best sellers, all that stuff. I think that's the best way to do it.
To your point about the cone, I agree that there is something, there's something missing. Yeah.
Oh, I know it. And no one's talking about it.
There's something missing. And I'm over it.
There's something missing. There is.
There is. What if cones almost came like oyster crackers, Josh? Where you get a little bag.
Keep talking. Keep talking.
Little cones, okay? And you're dipping your cone in the ice cream and putting it into your mouth. It's almost like chips and salsa.
couldn't have your your ice cream couldn't be too hard it would need to be soft but imagine that dip it's almost a tostitos scoop but in the flavor of a waffle cone i like that i love i think that's fucking sick i love that what if they made one cone that was a gigantic sprinkle okay wow the whole thing is one giant jimmy baby and so as you're taking bites you're just getting a sprinkle hit with every one i'm in yeah sign me up a sprinkle good a sprinkle banana boat and then you're piling the scoops in there. Or like, what about just like a waffle, a waffle cone that has been dipped in like a score bar, like an English toffee dip? What about just English toffee under the ice? How about we take all the work that we've done on the apple dipping? People who dip apples, they really dip.
That's right. They go caramel.
They go all these different variations of nougats and pralines and all this crap. We apply that to the cone business.
Right. We just need some invention.
We need some thought leadership. We need somebody to get behind this.
Is a fancy apple dip a show of wealth yes and a lack of care for your
dentist but it's like because you're at an event no one's coming home from a long day and and is
like babe i picked up dipped apples imagine you came home. Paige, I brought three caramel apples.
Leave. The guy swung by the apple-ry.
Got a couple of fucking dipped apples. That's nuts.
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Well, in the spirit of dipped apples, did you know that migraine sufferers are using vibrators on their heads to relieve pain? But is it worth all the buzz? The New York Post reports that pounding headaches can be agony, but there's an x-rated diy care that's tucked away in your nightstand drawer about 82 of american women own a vibrator whoa which are now being used in an unorthodox way by migraine sufferers while orgasms might be able to satisfy a headache people are applying sex toys directly on their noggins in order to ease the
pressure and pain from migraines and one desperate user wrote on reddit where they admitted to using their hitachi wand vibrator cleaned obviously wow i want to jump back to the 82 percent of women on a vibrator i'm so happy for them me too but like
we don't have any cool tools none if you're a guy and if you if you have one of our tools you should be in prison yeah you should be on a list like our tools are the inflatable doll jail oh my god a Fleshlight.
Jail.
Jail.
Like a sock.
What are you, six?
Like.
Yeah.
Our tools are jail.
A microwaved cantaloupe 82 use them to stop migraines like you talk about the talk about unfair it's nuts men should not be going near any sort of yeah should we josh reinvent the mail tool? Go on.
All right, we're out.
We're not doing that.
There are.
I mean, I think there are other options, and yet still, there's just something about it.
There's a stigma, and I think it's a good one.
Is there like a mechanical hand, almost almost like from the Adams family that just like
tickles the scrotum?
I think if they're getting into robotics, they're not going for scrotum attention.
That's how you get fired from the sex toy company.
You're like, all right, guys, hear me out.
I've been working six months on a scrotum hand. They're like, you're fired, Bill.
Oh, my God. As a migraine sufferer, I would try it.
What would you do if you came to my house?
I'm laying on my couch and I have a dildo pressed against my forehead.
Oh, my God. I would be like, oh, it tracks.
The problem is, is that if you did it.
You'd be like, that's cool.
But if you tried my scrotum hand tool.
You would have to print out that news article from the Post because every time someone discovered your vibrator you'd be like no no it's for migraines and they'd be like i'm so sure yeah i swear yeah here paper out migraines are the worst aren't they awful awful and if you don't if you've never had found this out recently. You know, there are people that have never gotten a headache.
No. Yes.
Not everybody gets headaches. I get headaches every other day.
This is what I'm saying. I used to.
Now they're much better. I used to get headaches every day.
I would be taking Advil every day. I used to get migraines all the time.
And I will say, credit Ozic since losing weight or maybe just since weight loss, my headaches have gone down significantly. Wow.
But there are people that don't get headaches. You know me, I'm TM Joshy.
I got plenty of TMJ, Brooksism as it's called, teeth grinding, clenching all day, all night. So, I mean, it kills my, I have such bad headaches.'s not good we gotta fix it you have a bite plate i do have a night guard it's super cute and i sometimes i wonder too like if i'm like i'll throw it in because now i just feel like i'm going into the big game you know it feels like a mouth guard that i'm wearing for like my division one football team and so I'll throw it in in case I fall asleep while I'm like watching a show with my wife.
And then, you know, the off night that maybe she wants to canoodle, I then have to go, oh, for sure.
Just one second.
Like I have to take it out.
And I'm like, that is not sexy.
There was when I had TMJ for a minute, there was a trick that I did. Do you ever try this? You basically pull open your mouth and you hold.
Yeah, hold that for 10 seconds. Okay.
Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Feel better? Maybe.
I don't feel worse. worse no it's a jaw stretch it stretches it out a jaw stretch get the thumbnail get the thumbnail guys screenshot this and i'm just saying if you're not watching on youtube then you didn't see my tonsils that have been removed since i was six months old.
Wow. Six month old tonsil removal.
Tell me you're Jewish without telling me you're Jewish.
I couldn't breathe.
At six months, 99% of my airwaves were just cut off.
I'm just imagining you hear the nursery rhymes from your little crib and it's like,
rock-a-bye baby baby isn't ben so cute poor little thing i told you this story when i got a migraine my one and only migraine no i was in the desert with my wife and her family they were going to to stagecoach. I'm sorry.
One second. There's just something weird that you Californians do where you just throw around desert as if it's not like when an East Coaster says they were in the desert.
I think of the Sahara. It's a proper desert.
But you know what the East Coast equivalent is? I was in the country. Yes, exactly.
Right. So you say the country, we think you're in an episode of Yellowstone, like where you're actually 30 minutes outside the city.
Yes. Continue.
So we were in Palm Desert for Stagecoach and I was not there to watch the concert. I was just there to enjoy with the family.
And so I left like a day early and I'm driving home. And I remember that my favorite restaurant, soup dumpling restaurant, the famous soup dumpling place.
It's like in between LA and the desert. I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to go.
I just love it. And I have all my favorite dishes.
And I drive back and as I'm like 10 minutes away from my buddy's house, I feel the migraine come on. And I had never felt anything like this.
So much so that as I'm pulling up, I open the door and I throw up because I'm so disoriented. And it hit me so hard that I had to sleep at his house.
I couldn't drive anymore. Luckily, I made it to his house.
So I tell my mother and she's like, I've made an appointment at the neurologist. We are going to nip this in the butt.
So I go to the neurologist and I've never been through such a thorough exam. I mean, all these questions and then checking reflexes and balancing and just checking each hemisphere of my brain and making sure everything's working correctly.
And we talked for an hour and he's like, yeah, I'm just not sure. Like put me through the gamut.
And then offhandedly he goes, what did you have for lunch that day? And I said, Chinese food. And he goes, that's it.
And I was like, what? And he's like, sometimes it it's the sodium sometimes if that particular restaurant uses msg he's like we've seen that it can trigger a migraine he's like so that's probably the best guess as to why you got it never gotten it since and i ate plenty of chinese food and you eat so maybe this neurologist was a xenophobe i'm fairly certain that you probably got it from like the bright lights at stagecoach no i would i didn't go to stagecoach but you're right i think i could have also just been dehydrated from the desert and ate too much salt and it was a bad mix i'm out on it being from one chinese food meal i'm out okay that Okay. That's the diagnosis.
And then he fucking bills the insurance provider. Nope.
Well, you scam. You don't think he got on the group chat with his buddies and he was like, got another one.
Yeah. Scam.
Well, we have another story here and it's a good one. Trust me.
And that is that I found a stranger sleeping under my house and then i confronted her what she found in her crawl space is enough to make your skin crawl someone's been living under my house an oregon homeowner announced on reddit the woman known only to her audience as spring chicken was tightening up the yard earlier this week when she noticed that the hatch to a small underground compartment of her 113-year-old abode had been suspiciously unlocked. Upon investigating the curious breach, the gal discovered a makeshift bed complete with a purple and pink blanket and several bags filled with a stranger's personal effects.
I don't think it's been slept in super recently. She was pretty unalarmed.
And then another woman said that she found an ex-convict had been living beneath her floorboards. Yeah.
Randos sleeping under your house. I would freak out.
Yeah. But she handled it like a champ.
It's, brother. Are you? What? I would freak the fuck out and move they could take my house yeah you get you you you say well played here's the d you win you win here's the deed do people still do deeds i mean i think they're they're more figurative deeds i don't know if they're quite like do you have a deed to your house i think so you do yeah give him the deed you don't want it anymore take my you don't want it dude should we do a speak pipe yeah please if you want to ask us a question or get advice only those two things go to speak pipe.com slash good guys and we will answer probably maybe keep it brief brevity is key here's like ben's middle name morgan hey good guys love the pod set all a debate for me and my husband we live in the midwest so there's not always privacy fences around our houses we don't have any fencing between our neighbors in the backyard so theoretically they can see into our house our house.
Now, I like to walk around with without pants sometimes, you know, oversized t-shirt or sports bra and shorts. He thinks I need to stop doing this in case they look in.
Now, I'm in the camp where it's my house. I can do what I want.
Look at your own risk. He thinks this is disrespectful.
What do you guys think? I love that you asked this question because I often have this debate with my wife because I walk around the house, nudied Judy, nude, fully nude. Not always, but sometimes I will get out of the shower and I'll just like forget that I'm nude.
And like, I'll go and like answer an email. I'm just imagining you on the bed with your schwantz but like you like and this area no it's possible that i have fully in view and she always says what if the neighbors see put on some clothes and all that i say is let them watch take a picture post it online what's the worst that can happen I get paid in a lawsuit like what are you worried about it's illegal I'll get money word up right what am I missing I've never heard of anyone hoping for revenge porn I'm not hoping hoping.
I'm saying it is a, if that's the only downside that I fall into a sack of cash, I'm in. Okay.
And just know if you're fucking taking pictures of me naked, I'm going to sue your ass. I mean, this woman, I understand her wanting to walk around full Winnie the Pooh in her house, and I really don't have any issue.
I don't mind seeing other people and I don't mind people seeing me. It is what it is.
I know that I'm a California seven, but I'm a Louisiana nine. So drink it in, kids.
Drink it in. I have no issues.
I also think her husband doesn't want her walking around her own house in a sports bra and shorts. What do you want her wearing? it.
Drink it in. I have no issues.
I also think her husband doesn't want her walking around her own house in a sports bra and shorts. What do you want her wearing? A tuxedo? Well, you could draw the blinds.
Sure. But like you're in your house, you want that sun.
I agree. And the sports bra and shorts, like it is like people work out in in wilder things than that.
Much wilder. work out naked wow this next one's from anonymous hey good guys big moron and toaster here husband is actually a big moron as well but weirdly never listened to the podcast about having your first baby so we moved away from our hometown over six years ago.
Don't live by any of
our best friends, immediate family. How do we go about acquiring gifts for said first baby without having a baby shower, without being tacky as hell? You know, everyone's telling me just send it out, send it to people.
I feel like blasting an email being like, hey, we want all this shit just seems odd, you know, but also
babies aren't cheap and again need a lot
of stuff. So wondering how you would go about that.
Would you just not do anything and hope for the best, hope that the people love you and are going to give you stuff? Or would you somehow work it into natural conversation? Need some advice. Love you guys.
You're as nuts as the intro said that you would be. Me and my husband, I'm a big fan.
My husband, he doesn't listen. I don't need to know that he doesn't listen.
No, she said he moved away. Right, Olivia? I think she said he, well, she said he was a moron but never listened to the past.
What does that mean? Oh, then he's just a moron. That's what I said.
He's just a moron. And also, I don't need to hear this.
It's like we talk about this all the time. Somebody will come up to you on the street.
Oh, my sister's wife is a huge fan. I'm not, though.
Okay. Right.
Okay. Thanks for letting me know.
I digress. You moved away.
You left your family in the dust. Sorry.
They don't need to send you gifts. If it's not close enough for them to come over and hand you a gift, you can't expect anything.
You can let people know, hi, I gave birth. I'm so excited.
Or hi, I'm pregnant. So excited.
And then them on their own volition can buy you things if they love you. But this expectation that people should buy you presents when you've moved away.
Sorry, I'm out. Yeah, I agree.
You certainly can't. Unfortunately, if you don't have a baby shower, you're not setting yourself up to win here.
But I do believe in the village aspect of things and how damn expensive kids are and that it really is beautiful when like I have a good buddy, Matt, who's about his baby's about to be born in October and he basically got everything he needed from his family and friends which I think is just lovely and wonderful if possible I think you can make a list like an Amazon wish list or something and when the people who love you ask then say yeah we put together a little together a little list, no pressure, because you can't just improvise with kids' gifts. You don't know if you're going to get the stroller they want, if you're going to get the diaper table they want.
So if you want to buy someone a gift, you want their list. Have the list in case people ask, but you can't send it out.
Agreed. You can definitely not email blast the list.
Hey, we're pregnant. Here's my list.
That's nuts. That's fun, though.
It is fun. It's chutzpah.
It's chutzpah. All right.
Last one from Erin. Hi, Josh and Ben.
Huge moron here. My fiance, Anthony, is actually a newfound moron, and we absolutely love that for him.
We just recently booked our wedding venue which is a summer camp in the Pocono Mountains. It's so exciting and gorgeous and we can't wait.
Neither of us actually went to camp growing up so we really need to figure out any and all camp essential activities, games, anything that makes camp memorable to fill an entire weekend since we'll be there from Thursday to Sunday. Any suggestions that you guys have would be absolutely appreciated.
I look forward to hearing what you guys have to say. And maybe if you give us a good enough idea, we'll send you some save the dates and invitations.
All right. Love you guys.
Bye. I can't make the invite over my head.
You'd be lucky for me to fucking show up. I'm unavailable.
I went home early from camp when I was a kid. I'm not going back.
No, but it sounds like a really fun idea. But we'd be remiss not to mention that's back to back people mentioning that their husbands are getting on board with this podcast.
That's right. I'm just saying that's how this that's how it really starts, folks.
You guys were here from the beginning. Now we're the biggest podcast in America, and tomorrow will be the biggest podcast worldwide.
It's a fucking groundswell. That's how it fucking starts.
It starts with the women because men are so stupid. Idiot men.
It starts with the women. They're like, ooh, yeah, I'll try something new.
Dumb dudes. And then the men here, and they're chuckling, and they're like, oh, I'll listen by myself.
That'll be our other pod. Dumb dudes.
That's how it fucking starts. Yes.
Okay. I just literally broke my wrist.
Like it's, it shattered. I just like hit something in this.
Okay. So what the fuck did she ask before she told us that we'd be lucky to come to our wedding? I'll tell you what an essential is.
Bug spray. But you know, s'mores, pool, maybe a little ultimate frisbee.
I assume there's a lake. I don't know.
It sounds lovely. Mazal tov to you.
We were on your side until you said you'd be lucky to be invited to our wedding. And that said, you should bring bug spray.
I agree. S'mores is a great thing that Josh said.
Alcohol. Plenty of alcohol.
A lot. Maybe some other fun goodies.
Like, it would be really cool if everybody walked in you had like joints on a tray or like mushrooms on a tray like let everybody like really like go into the elements maybe you have a shaman everybody trips and everybody's like was i at a wedding or was i at like some hallucinogen festival yeah that's cool i'm into that idea love drugs i say go for it enjoy yourself maybe you do the fun things so you look forward to a camp everyone gets like a care package and you like and you fill it with snacks and like fun sundries or or you force your entire wedding party to swing everybody gets assigned someone new because camp's all about new sexual activities.
So assign husbands, wives, wives, husbands, husbands, husbands, and just see what happens. Like everybody gets a new bunkmate.
Love that. And if your camp is anything like Ben's camp, you can dove in in the mornings.
Have a nice morning prayer. Make sure that everybody prays in the morning and in the evenings.
So aggressive. Let's get to our What Are You Nuts moment of the week.
Our gripes with people, places, and things. Anything currently sticking in our craw at the moment.
My What Are You Nuts moment is sending the waiter away. What are you nuts? Let me tell you something.
If you're going to a restaurant, any kind of restaurant where you're excited, where you really want to take a good gander at the menu, look at it before you go. Decide what you're going to order before you go.
You can listen to a special. You can make maybe a Hail Mary, a off the cuff decision, but you better know.
Because if that waiter comes over and goes, let me give you a few more minutes. You failed.
What are you nuts? I was once at, they sent the waiter away three times. I'm sorry.
We're talking. I never said, I haven't even looked.
We're talking. What are you nuts? Order, order immediately.
Order when you sit down, order with the drinks. And then you can, you can spot seer.
You could do whatever you want for the rest of the time. Take your time.
Put the order in. What are you nuts? This is an excellent what are you nuts? Excellent.
It's completely nuts. I know.
Completely nuts. Also, Josh, how do you know that you're ever going to see the waiter again? So true.
Sometimes you tell them to go and then they go on break. They could be a type A waiter and come back two minutes later,
or they could be a total degenerate and you won't see them for another 25 minutes.
Ever again.
Oh, they don't want me?
Cool.
Peace.
Yeah.
Scary.
My what are you nuts moment is I was on my way to a wedding about a week ago
and I get in the front seat of the car and my Uber driver turns to me and says,
I know you. I'm like, oh my God, you know my podcast.
Like I'm thinking that to myself. Oh yeah, of course.
He's like, yeah, I know you from TV. And I'm like thinking like, okay, maybe he like just doesn't know the difference between YouTube and TV.
I'm like, yeah. Yeah.
He's like, yeah, I love you, George. And then I'm like, huh, huh? What could this guy possibly be thinking? And I was wearing my glasses and he's like, yeah, I love your politics.
And I'm like, oh my God, this fucking Uber driver thinks I'm like huh huh what could this guy possibly be thinking and I was wearing my glasses and he's like yeah I love your politics and I'm like oh my god this fucking uber driver thinks I'm George Santos what are you nuts what are you fucking nuts okay like get out of here with that shit I don't look like him I don't like maybe if you're blind and if you're blind you shouldn't be driving my uber okay you blind bastard it was insane it was truly insane i couldn't believe it i couldn't believe it george santhos and the worst part i love your politics what are you sick i love the way you steal at least he lands in jail i love your politics at least he didn't say that you look like george santos's drag character yeah what's his drag persona same to me what'd you say what's george santos's drag persona speaking of google ai what's george it's like lady scarlet drag drag name katara rabash oh that's i'm in you fine you don't look like george santos but that's it and that's our podcast don't forget to rate review and subscribe well don't end it on a downer don't forget to rate review and subscribe to me and george check us out on youtube spotify everywhere you get podcasts five stars i mean otherwise what are you nuts short santo spit and and and the candied apples what more could you want's impossible. You're definitely not getting this content anywhere else.
All these podcasts are the same.
This is different.
We both are truly mentally unwell
and we're putting that on display for you
twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays.
Watch our clips, Instagram, TikTok.
Follow us on both those platforms,
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But you can still follow us anyways.
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Love ya.
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