Pope-Mobiles and Player Haters

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Speaker 5 The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Speaker 2 guys.

Speaker 2 Look at those calves. Look at those ankles.

Speaker 5 It's short season, baby.

Speaker 2 It's short season. We're looking at 77 degrees, Josh, in New York City and 87 degrees in this studio.
I'm smoking hot. It's so warm.
Windows open.

Speaker 2 That said, Josh, I'm just so happy to be here with you on this fine, gorgeous day. You're looking svelte as ever.

Speaker 5 Really? Thanks.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think it's the all black, but I'll still give you credit. I'll still give you credit.

Speaker 5 No, I mean, listen, I'm trying, I'm on a journey. And where that journey takes me, who knows?

Speaker 5 But every day I wake up at around 5.45 a.m., I roll out of bed, I curse my children because they've awoken me. And I look in the mirror and I bite my bottom lip as such.

Speaker 5 And I look at myself. in my Nordstrom rack Calvin Klein underwear and I say, not bad, Josh.

Speaker 2 Not bad. It's hot.
It's hot.

Speaker 2 I know it is. It's hot.
So talk to me about Nordstrom Rack, Calvin Klein underwear. Are we buying it with holes? Are we finding that it is ill-fitting? Like, what exactly?

Speaker 2 There's something wrong with it. It's obviously a manufacturer's defect.
So I'm just curious, have you seen, do you know what's wrong with it? Is it pre-worn?

Speaker 2 First of all, you're a manufacturer's defect right now. Your attitude is a defect.

Speaker 2 Don't even,

Speaker 5 don't, don't put that negativity on my Nordstrom rack, okay? On my NR. all right

Speaker 2 all i know is that i went to nordstrom rack i think in california you did right by my house because you forgot your your luggage

Speaker 2 everything i forgot everything it's the most ben thing ever oh oh i just imagine ben at the carousel like wait where's mine

Speaker 2 And I remember I went to Nordstrom Rack and I bought this like nice long sleeve waffle shirt. But Josh, this was tight on the hips.
It was a manufacturer's defect.

Speaker 2 So I ask again, what's wrong with the underwear?

Speaker 5 Okay, so these Calvin Klein's, they come in two. And I figured out why I can get the kind that I like, which is the perfect Modal.
I think it's like 90% cotton, 8% elastine, 2%.

Speaker 5 Your guess is as good as mine.

Speaker 5 And it's the colors. They don't come in black.
They only come in.

Speaker 2 This is what I

Speaker 2 want to get.

Speaker 5 What color is your underwear I have to do some searching so there are there are

Speaker 2 there is the sky blue red I don't do those whoa I draw the line whoa red underwear are you kidding me am I cheating on my wife that's nuts no no red underwear is for a very very it's honestly for sadists like that's what it is it's insane red underwear is insane it's insane but they have a pair that are one pair is gray and the other pair is a navy blue and those that's what i get navy blue completely works completely works i don't like gray this for the same reasons that i don't like white i don't want to see it i get it it's happening i don't need to see it i don't need to take off my underwear and see sweat from the day that's yucky i take off my nice black or a navy blue no problem at all josh this does have me thinking though, the next time you see a sale, maybe it's on that fire engine red.

Speaker 2 Bring it home, dye it black.

Speaker 5 That's an idea. I can't say no to a sale.
I'm sale crazy. Last night, I was dumpster diving at my local supermarket for sale items.
They keep it in the back near the bathrooms.

Speaker 5 I got three packs of seltzer water, Pellegrino Seltzer water, half off. Lovely.

Speaker 2 Lovely.

Speaker 5 I got, you know, our friend of the show even though he doesn't know it logan paul's prime powder because i like to add it for a little for a little coconut watery taste in my my workout water when i'm not doing element brochem

Speaker 2 and uh yeah and then i almost bought diapers but i drew the line so i have a question when you're shopping in the sale item of a grocery store you're checking expiration dates right got you have to because then you you might have played yourself You might have played yourself.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you've just bought that prime half off, but it's going to take half off your life.

Speaker 2 so i don't i don't know if saving the seven bucks is worth it like the sale items i love a pellogrino sale that's unheard of this stuff could could last an entire war right no problem yes but i don't but i don't know like you're not buying discounted milk you're not buying any discounted perishables right

Speaker 5 No, in the dairy department,

Speaker 2 there are some discounted items, but they tend to be seasonal. You're like, it's complicated.

Speaker 2 Hear me out.

Speaker 2 My relationship with discounted dairy is complicated.

Speaker 5 For many years before I started to become flush with funds from social media, I only bought sneakers from something called Joe's New Balance Discount Warehouse.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 Is that a website?

Speaker 2 Is that like an East Bay? Do you remember East Bay?

Speaker 5 Oh, bro, the the East Bay catalog.

Speaker 2 This bay was sick. You don't know ill until you know East Bay.
That's where I got my Lattrelle Spreewells with the wheel on East Bay. That was sick.
So cool.

Speaker 5 And it was a hardy catalog.

Speaker 2 It was a thick catalog.

Speaker 5 It was gorgeous.

Speaker 2 It was absolutely gorgeous. I'm just saying, something died when we lost East Bay.
Like, I don't know. I just like, I want to peruse.
I want to see.

Speaker 2 I want to flip through a hard binder and pick out my shoes.

Speaker 5 I think Amazon does this now, but it used to be, remember during the holidays, you would get the Toys R Us catalog, like of all the sort of holiday toys and you'd circle and you'd be like, I want all these.

Speaker 5 And your mom would be like, we're broke. And I'd be like, that's a you problem.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're just like missing a lot of that physical, right, Josh? Like I miss just, we, we're so, everything is so easy. Add to cart is so easy.
All of this stuff. I love Amazon.
Big Amazon guy.

Speaker 2 No question. If I can shop it, I'm going to shop it on Amazon.
That said, it would be nice to just, I don't know, be able to try things on. Retail's dying.
It's all dying, Josh.

Speaker 2 We're moving towards AI showing us what we'd look like in a shirt, and I just don't like it. I don't like it.

Speaker 5 Yes, my boy Stevie Mac, shout out Stevie. I think he would, he wouldn't mind me saying that he's a robust 60-year-old man.
He's beautifully proportioned.

Speaker 5 And he told me he's an actor, comedian, very talented guy. And he said, listen, I got a gig with Walmart.

Speaker 2 I said, yeah, boy, what are we doing?

Speaker 5 He goes, I'm going into their, I don't know, their studio and they're just going to take pictures of me in a bunch of different clothes.

Speaker 5 And then I'm going to be the AI example for like, you know, slightly portly cuties. And I was like, I hope they're paying you a million dollars because they're basically never going to need you again.

Speaker 2 Yeah, ever, ever. Once they've scanned you, you're done.
We're done. That's it.
No more. Crazy.
I don't know if we're ready for the AI conversation. It's too scary.
It scares the shit out of me.

Speaker 2 Like these scammers, it was honestly going to be my whatty of nuts. It's not AI, but these scammers, these scammers are out of control.
I'll do it. I'll do a second whatey and nuts later.

Speaker 2 Josh, I got a text today. Tell me.
I got a text saying your Apple, your credit card was used on Apple Pay at the Apple store. Call us to confirm it was you.

Speaker 2 And of course, I'm thinking to myself, oh, there's fraud. And then I realize this didn't come from Chase.
This came from a random number. This can't be true.

Speaker 2 I checked my credit cards, whatever, and it wasn't there. That message going to my dad, he's giving them his social security number.
Right. Like, like a thousand percent.

Speaker 2 And these scammers, they're too sophisticated. It used to be like, hi, I'm, I'm, I'm Kumar in Washington, D.C., and I need you to pay me $200 to make sure that your name doesn't show up on this list.

Speaker 2 Now

Speaker 2 there's an Apple paycharge at the Apple store on your Apple Watch. It's like so specific

Speaker 2 and so just like they know us and they know what could be true. And this is my fear with AI, that the same thing is going to happen bringing it full circle, that you're going to get.

Speaker 2 They could do a ransom video, Josh. You get a ransom video.
Your mother is now AI'd. She's being held hostage by pirates in the Bahamas.

Speaker 2 And if you don't send them 200 grand, they're going to throw her off the ship. Was it really her? No.

Speaker 2 Are you sure? Like,

Speaker 2 is it worth calling her and wasting time in case it's her? It's so scary. It's so scary.
Yes, that's an extreme example of your mother being held captive in the Bahamas via pirates, but this is AI.

Speaker 2 It's very scary.

Speaker 5 I told my mother in the age of AI, there's a chance that someone, I mean, God knows from this podcast,

Speaker 5 you could could copy my voice easily, easily.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 5 I said, there's a chance that someone could call you one day sounding like me, asking you for X amount of money because whatever, I'm in trouble. I need to get bailed out of jail.

Speaker 5 I was like, so we need to have a code word so that you'll know that it's really me.

Speaker 2 And she said, don't worry.

Speaker 5 They're not getting anything by me.

Speaker 2 Barbara the bank is secure.

Speaker 5 Now, excuse me, I have my friend, the president of Nigeria, on the other line.

Speaker 2 I'll call you back. I'm like, mom!

Speaker 2 No!

Speaker 2 It's bad, dude. It's bad.

Speaker 2 It's bad. No, it's real and it's bad.
I know I've told you the story about my dad getting cast for a food show. Like, dad, there's no tape on you.

Speaker 2 How? How are you being cast? There's nothing public on you.

Speaker 2 You're not going to be a man. You're not

Speaker 2 you're not gonna

Speaker 2 you're not gonna be in the next season you're a player hater you're a player hater benjamin

Speaker 2 i love i love that my dad my dad is shaq

Speaker 2 why can you be happy for me benjamin did you did you're threatened by me benjamin did you see last night speaking of shaq there's no shame in my game benjamin sorry

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Speaker 2 Whitney, Whitney, Whitney, I needed to tell you what it's giving. It's a witness.
I need help.

Speaker 2 You ain't gotta worry because God, I'm here. I'll tell

Speaker 6 I'm Whitney the Bayer. You may know me from Love Island, but it's time to know me from a little island called Life.

Speaker 6 My podcast, What's It Giving, features my sister Lizzie, as well as special guests getting into all the things: life, love, laughter.

Speaker 6 I'm not saying tea will be spilled, but I'm also not saying the floor will be dry. Send me a DM on Instagram if you have any dilemmas you want to be answered on our podcast.

Speaker 6 Watch or listen to What's It Giving, wherever you get your podcast every Wednesday.

Speaker 2 Be there.

Speaker 5 Poppy Square.

Speaker 2 Did you see the last night Shaq walked off NBA on TNT because he had to make diarrhea?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's called fuck you, money.
He abruptly leaves, like with stomach pains and comes back.

Speaker 2 Unbelievable. Good.

Speaker 5 He's accomplished too much to sit anywhere with bubble guts.

Speaker 2 Shaq is so unbelievably rich.

Speaker 2 He's so successful. He was so smart.
Like the playbook on how to take your money and 10x it over a lifetime, whoever set Shaq up, maybe it was Shaq.

Speaker 2 I think I just read he owns like 400 different types of franchises or he owns five different types of franchises, but 400 of them. Like 100 wing stops, 100 KFCs.
The guy is a genius.

Speaker 5 So smart. What, if you could own any franchise, what franchise would you own? Oh, that's a good idea.
Olivia, feel free to jump in here.

Speaker 2 It's a really good question. I think right now I would own Jersey Mics.
I think that Jersey Mics is the sub above. And Subway, really,

Speaker 2 they're never going to sponsor us. Okay.
Let's just call a spade a spade. They're dying.
They're one-legged. They're on their last leg.
I walk into Subway. I think I'm going to get mugged.
And like,

Speaker 2 I don't know what's going on with their tuna. Is their tuna real? Is there tuna dog? Subway's gone.
There's no competitors to Jersey Mics, Josh. What What firehouse subs? What Quiznos?

Speaker 2 There's nothing. So Jersey Mics, you put it in a beautiful, beautiful location.
The Jersey Mics on the Upper East Side, Josh, would kill. I'm all in.

Speaker 5 I understand your love and appreciation of New Jersey Michaels, but let me ask you this.

Speaker 5 Isn't it replicating a New York East Coast sub that you can get in most places in the city?

Speaker 2 Why would you go there? In Bodegas, for sure. You're absolutely right.
I would never open my Jersey Mics in Manhattan. You're 1,000% right.

Speaker 2 But I would open my Jersey mics somewhere that didn't have access to premium sandwiches on every corner for half the price via the bodega. Right.
So I'm happy that we chatted this through before

Speaker 2 I started building, before I broke ground. What would be your franchise?

Speaker 5 Okay, it's hard, right? Because you could do the half pizza hut, half basket and robbins just for the clientele.

Speaker 2 You know, you're going to get some fun, fun, fun, fun people in there. Oh, I love it.

Speaker 2 I completely forgot about the people, those stores, when you walk in and it's 50% Baskin Robbins and 50% Dunkin' Donuts. Unbelievable.
That is fun.

Speaker 2 Like shared real estate is under underappreciated and underutilized. Continue.

Speaker 5 Although, I do think having a chain gas station would be fun, like a Wawa gas station or a Buckeys. Could you imagine if you owned a Bucky's?

Speaker 2 Especially because you get free gas. Sick.
Really sick.

Speaker 5 And then you can take out with truckers and prostitutes.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're your boys. Yes.

Speaker 2 Joshie Prostitute. That's your new name.
Yes.

Speaker 2 King of the hoes. Lot lizards.
That's what they call them.

Speaker 2 What would you have, Olivia? I was just thinking about it.

Speaker 3 And I think in a similar vein, I'm going to go with a Waffle House franchise.

Speaker 2 Open 24 hours.

Speaker 3 The clientele is a wide range. You've got people pulling off the highway on a road trip.
You've got truckers. You've got kids after like homecoming going there for a bite.

Speaker 3 That's what I did, at least, because I didn't get invited to parties. But yeah, Waffle House all the way.
And it's utilized as a determining factor of natural disasters in the U.S.

Speaker 3 if a waffle house is open or closed. So I'd be in with the National Weather Service.

Speaker 2 Wow. So it's owned by Jews.
Who knew?

Speaker 2 Not me. I didn't know.
I could see that.

Speaker 2 News to me. News to me.

Speaker 5 Just in my experience, if I see like a lovely Southeast Asian owner of said franchise I'm in, I know the quality, the cleanliness, and just the overall heart that's going to get put into my meal is going to be top tier.

Speaker 2 Through the roof. Right.
Couldn't agree more. Absolutely.
Absolutely. A thousand percent.

Speaker 2 Shout out to the Southeast Asian community of franchisees. Gorgeous people.
Okay. Absolutely.
Shout out. Josh.
I asked you recently if we could record on Monday. You said, Ben, what are you nuts?

Speaker 2 It's Easter. I always thought that Easter Sunday was a thing.
You're telling me we also have a Monday and we also have a good Friday? This is a long weekend.

Speaker 2 And then after you answer that question, I would love to know,

Speaker 2 how was the hunting? Did Max and Shai go find eggs? What did we do on Easter? How was it?

Speaker 5 Tell me this. And Olivia, weigh in here.

Speaker 5 I might have been a little meshuga saying that, except when there is a Sunday holiday, when a federal holiday falls on a Sunday, which Easter is a federal holiday, it's a bank holiday, right?

Speaker 5 Then they tend to honor it the next day. Now, I have been beaten up by these agencies, these Hollywood agencies, that they take off, oh my God, any bank holiday.
I'm like, really?

Speaker 5 You took off President's Day? Like,

Speaker 2 what? You know,

Speaker 5 you represent, you know, Joel McHale. Like, you need a break?

Speaker 5 You're not exactly at the teller nine hours a day. But I think most places were open yesterday.
Was Dear Media open, Olivia?

Speaker 3 Yeah, we were open yesterday. However,

Speaker 2 my apologies.

Speaker 2 That's fine. This is a wonderful time to record.
I was just curious. You're like, Ben, what are you nuts recording on Easter? I'm like, I thought Easter was on Sunday.
Like,

Speaker 2 I'm trying to be respectful.

Speaker 3 We did have Friday off. We had good Friday off.
Other places had yesterday off. I don't know where the line was.

Speaker 5 And schools were closed. So I probably should have just said Max is home.
So it'd be easier to do it the next day.

Speaker 2 So walk me through Easter, though. And Olivia, I want to know what you did as well.
Just talk to me about Easter. Let's start on Good Friday.
We're eating a ton of fish.

Speaker 2 What happens then throughout the weekend?

Speaker 5 What does happen? I don't know what happens on Good Friday.

Speaker 3 I grew up Christian, so we didn't like do as much of the, like not Catholic, like the fish fry stuff.

Speaker 3 So it was more just like, you go to church on Sunday, you celebrate the fact that he's risen, he died for your sins, you do like a nice Easter luncheon.

Speaker 3 If there are kids around, you do the Easter egg hunt. Somebody dresses up as a bunny rabbit.
It's a nice day outside, you know?

Speaker 2 And where do the eggs and rabbits come from?

Speaker 3 I have no idea.

Speaker 5 Should we check? Yes.

Speaker 2 I would love to just know, like, where does the Easter egg hunt come from? This is a beautiful, by the way, this is a beautiful tradition. Okay.
I think it's lovely.

Speaker 2 I love the Easter eggs, even though RFK is coming for our dies. So we're going to have to use beets,

Speaker 2 even though he's coming for our dies. But we have our Easter egg hunts, the Easter bunny.
I don't understand where the rabbit comes from, and I don't understand the association between the rabbit.

Speaker 2 Rabbits don't lay eggs. Like, this would make more sense if maybe it was an Easter duck, Josh, and you were hunting for the duck's eggs, right? What is the correlation between the bunny and the egg?

Speaker 3 I'm not finding a correlation for the bunny and the egg at the moment, but I did just find that Easter egg hunts themselves originate from Germany, and it's suspected that the Protestant reformer Martin Luther organized egg hunts for his congregation.

Speaker 3 Supposedly, that's the first one.

Speaker 5 Untza, we're going to find the egg over there.

Speaker 5 Untza, I can't wait to find the little egg and break it open, see what little surprise I'm having.

Speaker 2 Oh, I love a kinder egg. What's more delicious? What's more delicious than that? You open it up, you get a little toy that you throw away, and you eat all the chocolate.

Speaker 5 Unta, Gustav, I have a couple jelly beans. Uncle Martin wants to eat with you.

Speaker 5 oh boy and uncle martin's now in prison what and what about the bunny like what's the deal it says the origins of easter eggs and the easter bunny are a blend of pagan and christian tradition eggs and hairs have long been symbolic of fertility and new life and these symbols became associated with the christian holiday of easter Got it and Easter is the welcoming of spring?

Speaker 5 No, it's the resurrection.

Speaker 2 It's just the resurrection. Because I'm thinking of fertility.
Okay. All right.
Very good. Yeah.
Now we know. Born again.
Born again. Okay.
Okay. Yes.
Born again.

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Speaker 2 All right. So we eat lunch.
We probably have a holiday ham. We go for an Easter egg hunt.
We have a beautiful Easter bunny. I'm not going to lie, Trump's bunny was very frightening.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you saw it. I did it.

Speaker 2 This was a scary bunny. I just,

Speaker 2 I actually think it was an AI bunny. Next time later, go look on Trump's Instagram and look at, they did a picture and then there's a bunny.
This is a

Speaker 2 scary big rabbit in a rabbit suit. I didn't like it at all.
And then the Pope died. And then the Pope died right after he met JD Vance.
What do you think about that?

Speaker 5 I mean, you know, Trump never ceases to impress, but I love that even on one of the highest holy days, he writes out a truth social post that said, happy Easter, even to the left-wing lunatic.

Speaker 2 He never misses a moment.

Speaker 2 It's so good.

Speaker 2 It's just pure comedy. But the Pope, rest in peace.
I just found out, you know, his name? Maybe this is just me being completely ill-informed. I did not know that his actual name was not Francis.

Speaker 2 He just picked that. Right.
Remember? His name is not. Didn't you watch Conclave? Conclave.
Conclave, yes. But I didn't put two and two together until now.
Yeah, he just picked Francis.

Speaker 2 Also, what are the odds? A movie like Conclave comes out, everybody gets educated on the process, and then Pope Francis passes away. May his memory be a blessing.
Zionara, what do you know?

Speaker 2 What do you know?

Speaker 5 Unbelievable. I give him a lot of respect for being, from what I understand, a very progressive pope and overall, just like a cutie-patootie.

Speaker 2 It seems that way. He died in a rather robust form, which I can appreciate.

Speaker 2 And he became one of us, you know? Like, I think towards the end, he was just like, yeah, just give it all to me. I'll eat all the Easter eggs.
I'll eat the rabbit. I'll take all the rabbit.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Popes, like, that's, I feel like the overly religious, I've heard this.

Speaker 5 I don't know if Ari Shafir talked about this, but with like, you know, when you're ultra, ultra orthodox, you know, I guess like, what, what's the Horedis, and there's another one that's like Hasidics?

Speaker 5 Hasidics, but not like Lubavitch, like Horetti, or there's one more soft, softer Satmer.

Speaker 2 Sotmer, yes.

Speaker 5 Extremely.

Speaker 2 Extreme, extreme, extreme, extreme, extreme, extreme.

Speaker 5 As far to the end as you can get, which in theory, you could say that's, if you're a pope, it's as religious as one could get. Sure.

Speaker 5 That they start to look at exercise almost like it's a deviation from God or like as a waste of energy because you could be studying Torah or, you know, whatever the Catholic equivalent is to that.

Speaker 5 It I never see an ultra-religious person in great shape.

Speaker 2 It's funny. I think that they just stick out like a sore thumb, the ones that aren't, but

Speaker 2 there's nothing in the Torah that says that, like, honestly, you should be in great shape. Like, there are plenty of

Speaker 2 religious people that are in great shape, but I will say that the chasids that have some drunk in the trunk definitely stand out. So it's probably why.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But like, I would hope that the Pope would exercise, needs longevity.
But yeah, that is interesting thinking about the Pope waking up in the morning getting gains like like

Speaker 2 having a walking pad pope pope just like on his back benching 320 like that would be a little anti-pope right pope francis with his lentil soup taking a shot of creatine it would be anti and now that i'm thinking about your comment i also agree the more religious you are i guess that your obsession with your own body and the way that it looks would be a little bit anti-god

Speaker 2 right but taking care of yourself would be in the image of god you know i don't know I don't know, Josh.

Speaker 5 I mean, you only know, you only hear about this in the negative, but when you hear about people who grew up ultra, you know, the most extreme cases of orthodoxy, that like they get to a certain age, nine, 10 years old, where like many of the equivalent academic classes you would take in a secular school are removed because they're like, you don't even need to know all that.

Speaker 5 You just need to know religious text, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah. And then, and then they end up getting a job within the family business.
And you know what I mean? Like it's, it's just a, it's just a different life. Like it's just a completely different life.

Speaker 5 Well, should we get to some stories? Oh, I didn't really tell you. Easter was great.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Tell me about Easter.
Tell me about Easter.

Speaker 5 You know, all of the major, there's really, if you think about it, us Jews, we got plenty of holidays. And the Catholics really, I mean, or the Christians, it's really Easter and Christmas.

Speaker 5 I mean, these are the marquees.

Speaker 5 And it's just so lovely when people do it right and they sort of get down to what the holiday is all about which is just basically like eating being thankful and being around family so we went to my wonderful brother-in-law's family's house shout out will and his beautiful family and i didn't even i'm so jewish i didn't even think about an easter egg hunt i said so we'll eat and then we'll go like

Speaker 5 and then all of a sudden one by one my wonderful mother-in-law will's aunt his mother they've they've made these beautiful Easter baskets. My wife made beautiful ones for the kids.

Speaker 5 And so the kids are like overflowing with like, you know, they're all filled with like great little five and $10 tchotchkis. And then they do this Easter egg hunt.

Speaker 2 It's unbelievable.

Speaker 5 They're getting Reese's.

Speaker 2 They're getting Kit Kats. They're getting cold hard cash.

Speaker 5 This was very fun.

Speaker 2 So fun. I think of, when I think of Easter, I also think of the hunt.
Do people go hunting on Easter? Like maybe a nice duck hunt? I'm sure that's difficult in Southern California.

Speaker 2 But in general, I would envision, you know, you take out the hound, you go hunt your duck.

Speaker 5 You know, you wouldn't hunt duck because the duck season ends at the end of January.

Speaker 2 See, this is migration that I need. This is the information that I needed.

Speaker 2 So quail.

Speaker 5 Maybe other small fowl.

Speaker 2 Understood. Okay.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Another small fowl species. Yes.

Speaker 5 Quail, pigeon.

Speaker 2 Yes. Where are the ducks migrating to, Josh? Because perhaps we could hunt them on their way.

Speaker 2 Fly over.

Speaker 2 Find out their route and hunt them on the fly. Yes.
Poison them. They're going north.
Yes. Okay.
So we'll go. We're going to do this duck hunt in Canada.

Speaker 5 I'd love to, please.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying I'm organizing next Easter, Easter Sunday, I'm organizing a beautiful duck hunt. We're going to do it in Quebec.
We're all going to wear nice outfits and it will be excellent.

Speaker 5 Listen, you, me a shotgun a saint bernard in regina

Speaker 2 count me in brother i'm so in i'm so in in newfoundland and maybe we can get somebody to like do something cute on etsy for our rifles like maybe like a cute cute like

Speaker 2 like a cute cute easter themed rifle you pastel

Speaker 5 pastel blue we go dressed in the dumb and dumber suits

Speaker 2 Absolute kooks.

Speaker 2 I'm looking for a shotgun, but make it cute.

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 5 Well, I did pull up a story about the Vatican reveals what Pope Francis said before his death, describes his final hours, gesture of farewell.

Speaker 5 Some of Pope Francis' last words were a heartfelt expression of thanks to his personal health care assistant.

Speaker 5 The 88-year-old pontiff who died monday from a stroke and subsequent heart failure grew emotional while expressing his gratitude to a nurse and his caregiver for encouraging him to take one final ride in the popemobile on easter shortly before his death do you think i can manage it the ailing pope asked

Speaker 5 and then what else did he say anything good anything good 50 000 50 000 faithful were watching him and uh i guess that's it he went in the popemobile the day before he passed.

Speaker 2 I didn't realize that. Yeah.
A man of the people. What's cooler than the Potemobile?

Speaker 5 Nothing. You think it has cup holders?

Speaker 2 Definitely, Josh. I think this thing has heated and cooled seats.
I think this has a massage chair in it. Ooh, this is fun.
What would you have in your Potemobile?

Speaker 2 Oh, man.

Speaker 5 I would have a soda gun.

Speaker 2 Like, ooh,

Speaker 5 look at the bar.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then I would have grenadine, and pop i'm making shirleys for the followers you know just popping out a shirley for the sick a shirley for the you know the wretched yeah

Speaker 2 how fun would that be what would you

Speaker 2 so fun and now all that i can think of from our earlier conversation is ai one day josh you're gonna think you're seeing the pope in the popemobile but it's gonna be a hologram Okay, it's gonna be a hologram.

Speaker 5 How often do you use ChatGPT?

Speaker 2 A hundred times a day. Really? ChatGPT has replaced Google for me.
Right. If I have a question, I ask ChatGPT.

Speaker 2 And I would normally have asked Google, but okay, so it's going to show me Google Gemini, which just like shows me less than ChatGPT. Like ChatGPT is amazing.

Speaker 2 I will even, I will write, Josh, remember that email? You sent me a voice note. You know what I did?

Speaker 2 I copied the voice notes, the text. I put it into ChatGPT and I said, format this for me into an email.
Oh, boy.

Speaker 2 And then what I do is I will edit the email, but it's so much easier to edit an email than to come up with an original thought. I'm using it non-stop.

Speaker 2 Like it's so, like, you can write, I'll use it for this. I'll write something, just thoughts that are coming out.
And I'll write, hey, ChatGPT, can you clean this up for me?

Speaker 2 I love it. How, do you use it at all or no?

Speaker 5 I do use it and I think it's spectacular.

Speaker 5 I'm careful with, I have a Tesla, and so it's so easy when I get in car to just hit home and then I just go home like it's it's just directed for me it's on that big screen so easy and in general wherever I'm going because like I don't know because technology has made me god forbid I should waste an extra second being in traffic even if I'm going two miles away I put in the address so I can know is there a street closure is something is my usual route a little bit more gridlock should I go around and I've been hearing lately that people say you shouldn't do that because you're literally never engaging your brain.

Speaker 2 Like

Speaker 5 directions, remembering how to get somewhere is like firing neurons and synapses.

Speaker 2 Interesting. I mean, those people have way too much time on their hands to get lost.
Like, okay, like, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 You're not, you shouldn't be villainized for using maps, but I just work all the time, they say. Yeah, if you, if you have a root and you know it, I totally get it.

Speaker 2 But like, what if you end up, there's a car crash? Do you think you can go to ChatGPT and say, check all of the various apps and let me know the fastest way home?

Speaker 2 Check Google Maps, check Waze, check Apple and find me the best route. Ooh.

Speaker 5 I think there's a version. I don't know.

Speaker 5 I think ChatGPT basically lives in like the news cycle and like all the information, but I don't know if they're checking active traffic data, but I'm sure there's an app that does that.

Speaker 2 Oh, God.

Speaker 2 So unbelievable.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I will, I throw, I mean, there are very few instances in in Manhattan, I'll never use GPS, but the second I go out of the city, I'm automatically using GPS and I'm always, I will do anything to save a minute.

Speaker 2 I, I will do, honestly, if I don't save 10 minutes, Josh, from what Waze told me, if Waze said I'll be there at 1220, if I'm not there at 1210, I'm angry. Right.

Speaker 2 I'm angry.

Speaker 5 But Pete Holmes talked about this, and I agree. I think we've mentioned this on the pod.
We have. Yeah, we have.
Which is just like, fuck Waze. I know.

Speaker 2 In the sense of you're ruining people's neighborhood to save 90 seconds for sure for that i totally get it i use it i think it's a little bit less like at least in the areas that i go i'm not driving through neighborhoods ways isn't taking me there it's either taking me on the cross island or the cross bronx or the arizona or there are a hundred different ways to get everywhere from the city right like they're like you can go through brooklyn to get to queens to get to long island or you can go through grand central to get to long island they're just yeah so we're not going through neighborhoods, but I totally agree.

Speaker 2 When Waze makes you take side streets and almost murder children and running through stop signs to save a minute, it's not worth it.

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Speaker 5 Well, did you know that famed NYC restaurant grilled over $30 sandwich, really overrated?

Speaker 5 The venerated New York City Institution Katz Delicatessen was spit-roasted online over its $30 sandwich, which viewers labeled diabolical and a waste of money.

Speaker 5 Katz's is one of the oldest delis in New York. It's obviously, you know, become very, very popular on the socials.

Speaker 5 And the backlash came in response to an ex post that began in praise of the Lower East Side pastrami purveyor.

Speaker 5 The sandwich sold for $27, in New York is famous for its generous amount of ingredients, which is rye bread and pastrami.

Speaker 2 I mean, this is Shonda. I don't know who wrote this review, but they must have not had it.
This is, this is an amazing sandwich.

Speaker 2 And honestly, when you think about pastrami, Josh, pastrami is a beautiful piece of meat that was prepped.

Speaker 2 and stored and soaked and baked and there's a big it's there's a lot of labor that goes into making amazing pastrami. I don't think the $27 is too much for a pastrami sandwich.

Speaker 2 Now, if this was just plain deli meat, of course, no good. But $27 for a pastrami sandwich, I don't have a problem with it.

Speaker 2 This is also, if you're eating a pastrami sandwich every day, Josh, if this isn't a treat for you, you're going to pass away. So

Speaker 2 you should treat this as a treat. And a $27 treat once in a while, not such a big deal.

Speaker 5 I struggle. I struggle with it.
Only because I grew up going to Katz's in the 90s before I think it had this. I mean, it truly has leveled up in the last decade because of social media, right, Ben?

Speaker 5 You'd say?

Speaker 2 It's definitely gotten better, but it is still a hundred-year-old institution that has been firing for 100 years.

Speaker 2 It's definitely, it's now reached a level of fame that nobody could have ever seen possible for a single location. But it's been very popular.

Speaker 5 I just don't think that I think it's a crazy amount of of money for a sandwich. I'm also not the biggest pastrami guy, but I feel like it's crushing it so hard.

Speaker 5 And it's not like they said, and because of that, we've leveled up, like it's the same products that they've had for 100 years and they're wonderful and amazing.

Speaker 5 But I guess you're paying for the experience to go and be in the place where Harry Met Sally was filmed.

Speaker 2 I really think that you're just paying for great, high-quality meats.

Speaker 2 Like when I think of like, would you, when you go, if you went to a restaurant and you got a steak fritz and it was on the menu for 27.99 are you balking at that because pastrami is you're having a piece of meat like it's sliced differently but in terms of preparation how long it took i think because it's labeled a sandwich people are like i'm not paying for a sandwich that's fair but like no it's premium meat that is always delicious and always fresh like you're paying for quality control also like i'd rather get a sure you could go to i'm sure a bodega has a pastrami sandwich like you can go and find a $12 pastrami sandwich that has listeria and you're going to lose

Speaker 5 like a leg. Good baby name.

Speaker 2 Listeria. That could be hot.
Yeah, Listy for short.

Speaker 5 And it's like that Rihanna song, Listeria.

Speaker 2 Listeria Sopherson.

Speaker 2 That would be a great card.

Speaker 5 So good. Wait, I want to see.

Speaker 2 I was trying to think of other lines to hysteria.

Speaker 5 Let's see. So the equivalent in LA is the number 19 at Langer's Deli, which is a pastrami sandwich with Swiss Russian dressing and coleslaw on double-baked Russian bread.

Speaker 2 All right. All right.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 5 Fascinating. Fascinating.
They charge 27 bucks at Langers.

Speaker 2 Okay. I'm also

Speaker 5 totally totally worth it.

Speaker 2 If you go to Second Avenue Delhi, if you go to Pastrami Queen, like other staples in New York City where you're going to get amazing pastrami, it's all around there. It's all in that, in that range.

Speaker 2 And I just think that you're paying for a steak. Think about you're eating a steak.
Okay.

Speaker 2 This is not a boar's head mesquite turkey. Okay.
This is not what this is. This is not a, I don't know, what's another brand? This is not an Oscar Meyer.
It's not a Diets and Watson. No, no.
Fair.

Speaker 5 Okay, I gotcha. We gotcha.
Well, there's another one, which is

Speaker 5 my fiancé wants to wear her dead husband's wedding ring when we marry. I feel like I'm in second place.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. She wants to say, I do, while still clinging to...

Speaker 5 I did. One bride-to-be is unconventional tribute to her late husband has sparked emotional fireworks before the ceremony even starts.

Speaker 5 A 30-year-old groom shared on Reddit's infamous MIBA whole forum last week that he's locking horns with his fiancé over one particular wedding day detail, her plan to wear her deceased husband's wedding ring on a chain around her neck as they tie the knot this fall.

Speaker 2 I have absolutely no problem with this, and the guy's got to get a life.

Speaker 2 Hold it, like a like burying a husband at 30, God forbid. How horrendous is that? Like let her do what I'm doing.

Speaker 5 Now say that like Aina.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do it.

Speaker 2 How easy is that? No, how horrendous is that?

Speaker 2 How horrendous is that?

Speaker 2 She's so

Speaker 2 just terrible. And like, you're going to, you're threatened by a dead guy.
Get over it.

Speaker 5 Totally. Pussy, you pussy.

Speaker 2 Loser.

Speaker 5 You are the a-hole, sir.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Should we get to his speakpipe?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 If you want to get advice, ask us questions. Go to speakpipe.com slash good guys.
Keep it brief. Brevity is key.
I can't stress that enough. Let's hear from

Speaker 2 V.

Speaker 2 Wow. Mysterious.

Speaker 5 Let's hear from Listeria Brown.

Speaker 2 Here we go from V.

Speaker 7 Hi, Josh and Ben, avid listener here from upstate New York. I'm looking for some advice.
So for the last 15 years, I've been an avid restaurateur, bartender, host, cook, all of that manager.

Speaker 7 And after 10 years of being in my job, I was let go unfairly, which was totally proven. We had new management turnover, they cleaned house, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 7 Anyways, so after six months of trying to find another job, I finally had found one that I've been at for a year now, and I love it. I have a lot of creative freedom.

Speaker 7 I have a lot of freedom in general. Things are really great.
I'm a manager for the place and I really pretty much run the whole place.

Speaker 7 It was a small, small business, but unfortunately, I do not make enough money.

Speaker 7 I'm a single mom, and it's hard for me as it is to keep up with all of my demands as single mom but my loyalty to my bosses i love them so much they really are supportive and help me out but because the business is so small we don't make a lot of profit they can't really afford to pay me what i should be paid and they are aware of that but i just don't know what to do i don't know whether to try to find another job or stick up my loyalty and try to keep helping to make the business better and hope that maybe they could pay me better one day.

Speaker 7 I'm not sure what to do. So any advice would be helpful.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 I don't think that you should be loyal to these people. You've been there for six months.

Speaker 2 It's really nice that you have that relationship with them, but ultimately you're an employee and it's really nice to have great relationships with your employers, but not if they're taking advantage of you.

Speaker 2 And in the end of the day, if you're a single mom, you need to be paid your fair wage. And restaurants are tough.
I wouldn't go to a small restaurant like for the next one.

Speaker 2 If you can, it would be really great. Like go find a chain.

Speaker 2 Like you mentioned that you're like you love doing everything in a restaurant i know it might not be like the the greatest thrill to like work at yard house but like if you work at yard house you'd be the manager of a yard house then you can be the manager of 10 yard houses then you can be manager of a district of yard houses like there's true growth but i just like the the path it seems that you're on is okay manager okay opening your own restaurant and everything that i've heard about that josh let me know if you've heard differently is that that's a nightmare that is a time suck that is a money pit that is not a way to support a family.

Speaker 2 It's like a once in a lifetime hit that you become a major food group or you become a Tao group or you become one of those.

Speaker 2 It's more often than not, you go out of business or you spend a ton of money and just float. So I would look for a more corporate management job in a restaurant that has true growth potential.

Speaker 2 And it's really nice to be loyal to these people. But in the end of the day, if they stopped getting customers in their door, they'd fire you.

Speaker 2 So if they could fire you, then you could quit, if that makes sense.

Speaker 5 I've got three words for you.

Speaker 2 OnlyFans, the ultimate side hustle.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 that works too.

Speaker 5 I mean, I do believe, I completely agree with Ben. In addition, I will say, I do believe in doing right by people who do right by you.

Speaker 5 So if you feel like your bosses have been great and really supportive and maybe they just don't have the dough to pay you enough right now, it's it's worth it if there's like a feasible side job where you can make enough to get by.

Speaker 5 But agreed agreed with Ben, like I've seen so many people where all of a sudden the business got better and somehow they've rationalized why they still can't pay you. So.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't, I don't know. Like even just,

Speaker 2 I wish that loyalty, loyalty doesn't come in six months. That's all I'm trying to say.
If she came to us and said that she's been there for six years, she loves them so much. They're like family.

Speaker 2 Like you're still in the honeymoon phase. Okay.

Speaker 2 Like these,

Speaker 2 I would find a new job, but I hear what Josh is saying, too. It's nice to, karma is a real thing.
Be nice to people and good things will happen to you.

Speaker 2 But these people need to pay you what you're worth. Otherwise, they should hire somebody more junior that has less experience where the wage makes sense.

Speaker 5 Word up. Next one from Haley.

Speaker 8 Hey, good guys. I'm Haley from Connecticut.
Thanks for keeping a chill podcast and not taking life too serious. We all really appreciate that.

Speaker 8 My question for today is, my husband and I at the age of 30 decided that he would get a vasectomy.

Speaker 8 We have three kiddos and it's been about three years since his vasectomy and I'm really feeling like I'm not quite done and want another baby.

Speaker 8 We've been chatting about it and he says, I don't know about a fourth. I really think he's just scared to get the reversal.
What are you guys' thoughts? Should he get one or no?

Speaker 2 What's the fear in getting a reversal? Also, a vasectomy at 30. You guys must be pounding away.

Speaker 5 They have three kids already.

Speaker 2 No, I know, but like, holy smokes. I just don't think I've heard of somebody getting a vasectomy at 30.
That's all. But good for him.
Good for you guys. I think that ultimately it takes two to tango.

Speaker 2 And if he's comfortable at three, I think that three is a lovely number. And

Speaker 2 but if you can afford four, I don't know. This is up to you.
How the hell am I supposed to give you advice? What are you, nuts?

Speaker 5 I've heard, I just asked ChatGPT. I've heard the reversal is painful.

Speaker 2 It's painful.

Speaker 2 Tell me how. Walk me through it.

Speaker 5 Well, I think the initial visect is just removing, they're just removing a little piping.

Speaker 2 It's just a little pipe.

Speaker 5 You know what I'm saying? Like, they're just kind of taking like a little bit of the highway in between these two exits so that there's no straight path for whatever.

Speaker 5 Even though recently I heard someone complaining that like her friends who've had vasectomies, like their relationships went to pot because it changed something in the man and his hormones.

Speaker 5 That's not true.

Speaker 2 That's fake news.

Speaker 5 It doesn't affect her hormones at all. It's just kind of taking the pipe away from where the baby part, where the seed part comes from.

Speaker 5 Got it.

Speaker 2 Got it. So you need to lay down new pipe.
I always thought that's the same thing. You're reattaching pipe.

Speaker 2 That sounds incredibly painful.

Speaker 2 I always thought that the term tubes tied literally referred to

Speaker 2 when you basically... Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Olivia couldn't have been hold back.

Speaker 2 Ben,

Speaker 2 you were touching. Don't shoot.

Speaker 2 Don't shoot. You shoot.
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
You love the little cub.

Speaker 2 We We love you!

Speaker 2 Don't shoot! I'm just saying, okay, why can't you tie his? He has this nice tube as well. Why can't you just crack the hose? Why do you have to remove a part of the hose?

Speaker 2 Why don't you just crack the hose?

Speaker 5 That's what they're doing. Have you ever seen a cracked hose?

Speaker 2 It looks painful as shit. Yeah, but I don't.
It's more, it's less painful to straighten the hose than it is to redo the hose. Toops died.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Don't shoot.

Speaker 5 It's hysterical, Ben, because you are so smart and you are so seasoned in so many things. And you're just in these cute little sheltered moments in their kayak.

Speaker 2 I do. I do.
I haven't had my tubes tied. That said, that people have been telling me that the amount of dates, I'm eating five dates a day, Josh.
I don't know if I told you. I'm obsessed with dates.

Speaker 2 They told me that it's really great for fertility. And I had to tell them that I am not a woman.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 5 Look, you have three kids. You're young.
You guys decided to have the vasectomy.

Speaker 5 i'm gonna air and i don't usually team dude here and it's his body his choice and if he doesn't want to get another surgery and reverse it like count your blessings with three beautiful kids like i kind of get it amen yeah amen sister don't let him tie those tubes

Speaker 2 or untie them should we get to our what are you nuts yes Our what are you nuts moment of the week are our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and small, whatever's sticking in your craw ben you want to go first so i just mentioned josh i tease that i'm obsessed with dates right now okay i discovered nature's candy these dates okay i know i'm late to the party these dates these majul dates holy smokes do they taste delicious unbelievable okay and i know before you jump all over me they're caloric there's a lot of sugar in them no but i know all they don't they don't spike your blood sugar right correct they don't spike but i i get it it's a lot of dates That said, these things are delicious and sweet.

Speaker 2 I told people, Josh, that I'm eating dates. They said, oh, my God, you have to bake and wrap your dates.
Oh, my God, you have to stuff them with peanut butter and dip them in chocolate.

Speaker 2 How fat are you, bastards? What are you, nuts? Like, just enjoy. Just enjoy this beautiful.
Is it a fruit? Is a date a fruit? Is it a nut? What is it? It's a nut?

Speaker 2 I don't even know how you describe a date, but enjoy nature's candy, okay? That's like me saying that I started falling in love with strawberries. Oh, you have to dip them in chocolate.
No, I don't.

Speaker 2 What are you nuts? Stop being such a fat batty and making everything unhealthy. Dates are delicious.
Enjoy them plain.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 5 fair enough. Dates are delicious.

Speaker 5 Not going to fight you on that one. My what are you nuts is recently, and I can't believe I never get invited, but it is my dream to one day go to WrestleMania.

Speaker 5 And it just happened over the weekend in beautiful Las Vegas. And John Cena wound up winning WrestleMania.

Speaker 5 And so later, I see press conference with John Cena where he talks about him winning WrestleMania. Press conference like you do after a sporting event.
Yeah. Except this one, this sport is scripted.

Speaker 2 What are you nuts? Yeah. I'm not going to treat you like an athlete, dog.

Speaker 2 You knew you were going to win. It's completely nuts.

Speaker 2 So how deep did you need to dig to win that fight?

Speaker 2 It was written. Yes.

Speaker 5 And no shade on WWE. I love it.
These guys are true athletes, but it's not a, it's sports entertainment.

Speaker 2 No, post-game, it's actually hysterical. It is a real what are you nuts? The post-game should be with the writers.

Speaker 2 Like they should be asking, they should be asking the writers, like, so how did you think of, how did you think of that ending? And why did you pick Cena to win?

Speaker 2 Not like, how did you act out what the writers wrote for you? What are you nuts?

Speaker 5 But I'm telling you, these writers are going to be a bunch of finger sniffers and air monarchs and cardinal pants.

Speaker 5 Like, so, Phil, how did you come up with that? And he's like, Well, in between World of Warcraft, I thought

Speaker 2 right

Speaker 2 after I cleaned the cum off my gym shorts,

Speaker 2 I decided Cena would be a great comeback.

Speaker 2 Right after I ate some insulation from my garage wall.

Speaker 5 Let's end it there, Ben.

Speaker 2 I can't wait for an army of writers to come after us.

Speaker 2 Folks, this episode is five stars. Otherwise, what are you, Nux? Listen to us wherever you get your podcast.
Watch us on YouTube. Share our clips, Instagram, and TikTok.

Speaker 2 Mondays and Thursdays, folks, we will see you next time.

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Speaker 9 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.