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It's a good guys.

And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts?

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Whoa.

Muzzlemorons, welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast.

I'm sitting here with Brian Kohlberger's Pen Palettes, Ben Sauber.

These have to stop.

Josh,

I'm just so proud of us.

I just want to talk about it for a second, okay?

Please.

Because...

The episode has come out.

We did the first ever podcast at the U.S.

Open.

And I just want to describe to those that weren't there, perhaps you were listening, perhaps you were watching, but you don't really understand quite how difficult this environment was and how much we crushed it.

Okay.

Should we paint it?

I just want to paint a quick picture for the morons.

Essentially, Arthur Ashe Stadium is right next to the airport.

So just every six seconds, you just have planes flying straight over our stage, 730 from each other.

A320s.

800s.

Yeah.

A380s, 850s.

And let me tell you, it was so unbelievably loud.

And we were essentially, you know, when you walk through an airport and you think to yourself, hmm, it's interesting that there's that random piece of art in the airport.

I'm not going to stop by it because I'm going to my terminal, but it's nice that it's there.

That was us.

We were the works of art on your way.

On your way from checking in, getting your ticket checked at the U.S.

Open to going into Arthur

Ash Stadium to perhaps watch some mixed doubles, some singles, some multis, whatever you were there for, okay?

Maybe you were just there for the chicken nuggets.

Who knows why you were there, but you certainly weren't there for us.

And let me tell you, not only did we draw an engaging crowd, but I just had so much fun.

I thought we did such a great job.

And

nobody's going to pat us on the back.

We need to pat ourselves on the back.

So I'm here letting everybody know we did a great job.

I'm sorry that you missed it, but it at least made me think, you know, if we can do that in front of complete strangers, I mean, Josh, maybe we need to do some type of a live show.

I don't know.

No thanks, but

these snurs, the toast not included, because they put on an incredible show.

And as we know, Claudia Austria just on her own has done, you know, the worldwide with her one woman show.

It's spectacular.

They put on a fabulous show.

But most of these live podcasts, this is live drech.

It It is.

They pay $50, $60, $70 for a ticket.

And what are they getting?

They can get it for free.

Josh, this is why there's an opportunity zone.

They can't get what we gave them for free.

It was literally for a brand.

And I asked, what tastes better?

Vital proteins or a big juicy ass.

That's it.

You can't get that anywhere else.

I couldn't do that in an ad read.

You can't get that anywhere else.

We're so real ourselves.

I don't know, Josh, a meet and greet component.

God, we'd get COVID.

Six seconds, we'd get COVID.

Oh, my God.

First of all, when people talk about getting COVID at this point, I go, listen to me, okay?

Just say you want a sick day.

All right.

You don't have to throw around this word anymore.

We all have PTSD from this thing.

I know.

This morning I went to urgent care, by the way.

I'm totally fine.

I thought I had an ear infection.

I might have an inner ear.

There's something going on with my ear, but he checked it and he's like, I don't see anything.

Take

like seven.

i'm like take i'm like i'm like take zyrtec swimmer's ear i'm like take zyrtec i take zyrtec every day he's like take flonace i'm like i take flonace every day i needed to pay you for this but they in the intake form they did ask me josh not only did i get the covet vaccine which i did but were you boosted i'm like can you shut the freak up okay what does that have to do with this okay What does it have to do with anything?

They don't even ask about the flu anymore.

It's just, were you boosted?

Why?

what's it to you joan

you think it's what does that have to do with my ear infection

you think it's like a status thing like a social score like they're going to treat you better if you've been boosted

when's the sign of thinking going

i'm not following i think i was just surprised by the question it's usually like what's your medical history like pertinent things that we need to know i didn't realize that getting boosted for covid was pertinent information did you get a flu shot this year like are these are these questions because if i got boosted boosted, I would have been boosted whenever I got it.

So three years ago being boosted, I just thought it was interesting.

That's all.

I think it's a, I will say, I think it's a relic.

Like, I think that was a more prevalent or

that was a question that held more weight two and a half years ago.

Yes.

That's it.

That's it.

That's all I'm saying.

What does that have to do with me today?

That's all.

Maybe you're saying maybe they didn't change their line of questioning.

Maybe it's a dated.

questionnaire.

It could have been a dated questionnaire, sure, sure, sure.

But yeah, I think at that point, it was just kind of like, I guess, was the way,

how aggressive they would be in treating you because, or how, how likely you would have something.

I don't really know the etymology of it, and I can't wait to see the comment section fucking light up like a slot machine because of this subject.

What are they going to say?

They're going to, you know what the problem is, Ben, because I think you and I are probably pretty aligned on this thing.

Like, look.

Call me crazy.

I think the vaccine was a net positive.

I think it was more good than bad, bad, but clearly there's been some bad that we did not consider in the moment.

Is that fair?

Is that a fair assessment?

Sure.

I think that it was a complete cash grab.

Okay, you're talking in a massive

sweepy.

We talked about talking in absolute psyched spend.

I think that the original intentions for absolute nuance.

I think that the original goal maybe wasn't that, but boosted triple booster, quadruple booster, six-tuple booster.

Here we go.

We're going to be mentioned on Tucker Carlson.

And let me tell you, Tucker Carlson, you fuck you.

I tried your dip.

You know, Tucker Carlson made his own brand of Zins.

They suck.

Nothing.

I thought you were talking about that he made like a bean dip in Costco.

Did he?

No, when you said I tried his dip i thought you meant like beans

i tried tucker carlson's line through your big fat clasco

yogurt based dips i'm like oh i didn't know he was in cpg

that is good that is good but yes josh i am

i'm back you're back We were at the open.

We're home.

Anything happened on the flight?

Anything remarkable?

Anything between?

It's just, I don't know if you feel this way.

When I get to see you in person, I just get such a joie de vivre.

I get so zesty.

And

life's just better.

So how are you?

Yes, I feel recharged when I see you.

I'll give people the play-by-play because I know they love it.

They love it.

Yes.

So I flew to the wonderful New York City, four o'clock Monday.

I got it all dialed, right?

I'm going to land at around midnight.

This is good.

This is better.

This is the perfect amount of time because it's the last flight out before the red eyes start.

And as you know, these red eyes, they stink.

This is not sustainable.

I can't take them.

I'll get an ear infection.

I can't take them.

No good.

It's nuts.

So I take the flight about 10 minutes into it.

My seat neighbor is an attorney for a major studio and he's giving me all the hot goss.

I could totally get him fired, but I would never.

And he knows who he is and I loved sitting next to you.

10 minutes in, from the top of the plane above us where the oxygen masks are held, the panel falls down and is down the whole flight.

Okay?

This is no good.

This is no good.

Our flight attendant who's on the level goes, oh man, I'm sorry.

She's like, I could try to just bang it in.

She's like, but it's, it's going to maybe break it more.

She's like, I know what I'll do.

She comes back with a a roll of duct tape.

We go,

what is there?

Is there an office depot back there that you've been hiding?

Where did this come from?

She goes, she didn't even hold back for a second.

She goes, no, it's for restraining people.

I said,

sick.

Oh, my God.

This is ruining my fantasy.

And so she literally, and we'll, here, this is going to be a clip and we're putting the photo in here or I'm giving this to the Dear Media video team.

You need to see this tape job.

So she literally tapes the whole thing.

And as we're landing, right before it's starting to fall again, she goes, do me a favor.

As we're landing, just hold it up.

Money and nuts.

So it doesn't hit your head.

I'm like, sick.

So then I go and I, you know me, I love a commuter hotel.

I go to the Marriott Residence Inn.

Now, let me explain this.

By the way, quickly, I just want to be clear.

You said you went to New York City.

I just want to be clear.

You never stepped foot in the city, correct?

Oh, the five boroughs don't make up the city.

You flew into Queens.

You stayed in Queens.

You left from Queens.

And by the way, respect.

That's the way to fucking do it.

You're not, there's no glitz and glam that's going to take your eye off the ball.

No, you're checking in.

You're getting a beautiful muffin.

You're getting a nice black coffee.

You're headed to your job.

You're headed home to your beautiful family, and nothing is gonna stand in your way.

For what?

I'm gonna go in the city for what?

The Arthur Osh Stadium in beautiful Flushing Queens is literally 24 minutes from JFK.

And of course, because your city is broken, at 12:30 at night, it was a 20-minute drive from the airport to the airport hotel.

There was a traffic jam.

I've been telling you for a long time that my city is broken.

It is in pieces, it is in flames.

That's why we need someone like Mom Donne Wahlberg.

By the way, I heard Michael Rappaport, he coined this, not me.

I coined Bill the Criminal.

From now on, it's Zoron the Moron, and I love it.

I'm going to call him Zofron because I love Zofron.

Later, we're going to talk about Spencer Pratt and Karen Bass.

Okay, continue.

Yeah, and you know what?

At this point, I'm really starting to believe that no 33-year-old should be allowed to run anything ever.

I'm just putting that out there.

Unless it's like a major, you know, social media company, they seem good at that.

They do seem good at that, for sure.

Absolutely.

Because this is new age tech.

This is fantastic.

This is new.

We need experience on the ground, Josh.

You're right.

Dare I say we need de Blasio?

I'd take him in a heartbeat.

All right, we're continue.

Continue.

We're being pulled.

I'm pulling us off the tracks.

So I get in.

And again, now I'm considering.

I know from the great Brian Kelly, the points guy, that they've opened up a beautiful Park Hyatt or no, a Hyatt Regency Resorts World casino near JFK.

And I'm like, should I stay there?

But you know what?

I'm so fucking smart.

There's so much sexual in here.

I go, you know what it is to check in at a casino.

It's horrible.

Could be lines.

You're going to go, oh, go up to elevator bank number 17.

You're staying on the 33rd floor at the grand encore level.

It's about an 11-minute walk from the desk.

It's nuts.

It's midnight.

I got to be fresh for vital proteins in the morning.

The only good part about staying at a casino is you may have been able to book a smoking room.

And that would have been gorgeous.

You walk in and those couches smell like Marlboroughs from 1980.

Like, that's it.

You're immediately, you just, you're welcomed with this level of filth that when you get out, you're so excited to leave, your day can't possibly be better.

That's true.

And there's probably a lady of the night at the bar, and I could cheat on my spouse.

You could, or you could be the lady of the night.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

I'm a man of the morning.

Yes.

I'm a man of the mid-afternoon.

I'll sell myself, but it's only till six.

You're picking people up at the Continental breakfast.

Yes.

You're schmoozing over a nice blueberry muffin.

How about those eggs?

Want to go for a quickie?

So then, okay, and really, I think about these things.

So you've got a Marriott and a Marriott Residence Inn right next to each other.

Classic Marriott, the commuter residence inn.

Which do I pick, Ben?

Which do I pick?

You picked the classic Marriott.

You're nuts.

What are you nuts?

I picked the commuter hotel, the residence in.

First of all, who has ever saw a Kitchenette and said, not for me?

No one.

Not me.

I love them.

I love a Kitchenette.

I want options.

I want to know that if I wanted to whip up a quick ramen, I could.

Okay.

Agreed.

Yes.

And it's the same price as the regular Marriott.

It's just as nice.

You get the Kitchenette.

You get Continental breakfast in the morning.

Not standard at a standard Marriott.

Whatever.

It's fine.

Handled it.

Got to the beautiful vital protein suite with my boy.

The next day we crushed it.

Ben brought his absolutely iconic brother-in-law, Zach too.

I mean, this kid, what a sweetie he is.

I like him very much.

He's a great boy.

Josh had met Olivia's husband, Zach, but

hadn't met Jackie's husband, Zach.

And they met.

And

it was just a wonderful, wonderful meeting of the minds.

And we had such a great time.

And again, I think, Josh, we made people's days better.

People left laughing.

People left with free gifts.

We threw hats.

We threw branded tennis balls.

We did.

We cracked some wonderful jokes.

I had a wonderful day.

I had a wonderful day.

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Hey guys, I'm Whitney Port and this is With Wit.

A lot of you may know me from reality TV and the reality is a lot's happened since the Hills.

With Wit is dedicated to having real, raw, and occasionally ridiculous conversations with the people who have had a a profound impact on me.

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Tell me about the U.S.

Open kind of.

I'm interested because there were people dressed up in like literal tennis gear.

Like they could run out on the court me that was me i mean you were just dressed you know schlubby chic

which i love

so was i you're like you just look like ass well there were there were women in like literal tennis outfits like yeah for the country club but then there were women in

chanel like wool knit short and jacket suits.

Then there were men who looked like they were either going to go golfing and or they were going to like a business casual soiree like what is the fashion

it depends on when you go who you go with where you're sitting

if you go during there are two passes there's the day pass and the night pass if you go during the day you're typically going to wear your golf slash tennis attire.

Maybe that's a polo, maybe that's shorts, maybe that's an athletic t-shirt, right?

Your, the country club or country club adjacent look or the athletic look.

Okay.

That said, perhaps a really nice brand like Rolex has a suite.

And if Rolex is inviting you into their suite, even if it's during the day, you're probably going to dress nicely because it's Rolex or it's Automar or it's one of those.

There are such insane sponsors at the U.S.

Open, Vital Proteins included.

But we're talking the creme de la creme.

We're talking American Express.

We're talking Cadillac.

We're talking like these are huge, huge brands.

So if you're invited into one of those suites, you're probably going to dress up.

Maybe there's a carpet.

Maybe there's very interesting people also there.

Now, as we get later into the matches, if you're going at night, Jokovich versus Alcaraz,

and this is ESPN, 8 p.m.,

you're going to wear your Sunday best.

Okay.

You're going to dress nice.

You're going to look chic as hell.

And

it's seamy.

It becomes very, very seamy the deeper it goes.

We went day one,

like it's not

the US Open.

The doors had started.

No, the doors had just opened.

I actually had my what are you?

I had my whatey in nuts that I didn't do because I didn't want to offend the fans there.

But I'll tell you what my whatey in nuts was going to be.

It's being at the U.S.

Open day one.

Because being at the U.S.

Open day one to watch number 99 versus number 95, of which you've never heard, okay?

Like you're watching nothing.

It means nothing.

It's like going to a preseason basketball game.

That's what going to day one of the U.S.

Open is.

That said the weather was outstanding, wasn't it, Josh?

It was

perfect.

It was perfect.

I really thought that we were going to get absolutely crushed by just a humid wave of nothingness, but it was like a bombing 80.

It was gorgeous.

I need to know what you just burped up.

What did it smell like?

I don't even know.

I thought I hit it, but it was not is it beefy no i'm drinking a matina here which is a yerba mate you familiar with yerba mate i've heard about it but i don't know what it is tell me about it is it like a green tea adjacent yerba mate is a tea it's from a gourd it's from the yerba mate plant i guess but it's this is good stuff matina it's got the equivalent to about two shots of espresso 120 milligrams of caffeine and it's just i'll tell you what i met the founder of it in the at the gym in the sauna, and he said, I'll send you some.

Andrew Huberman is an investor.

I said, say less, ma'am.

You have

free drinks.

No, it's smooth, though.

It is smooth as hell.

Excellent.

Well, because you like it.

No sugar.

You should invest.

Throw a little money.

I can't.

I'm, I, me, and that, I would be the worst investor because I would be calling every other day going,

how's things?

Those people really do exist.

The people who put in the least amount of money are often the most annoying.

Yeah.

Like, do you have those with spritz?

Yeah, yes.

Yes, I do.

I have the not my friends who like I let put in like any amount of money.

There are some friends that put in like $1,000 just to like be a part of it.

Of course, I'll never hear from them, but the person who put in 25 grand calls more.

than the person who put in 2 million.

And what are they asking?

how are things can i get an update what's going on every single year they'll ask uh hey do i can i get like a k1 form for my taxes and i have to remind them no we're a del or c corp we don't do k1s they just they're just always asking questions always

how's target going how's rate of sale how are these things doing and we send out quarterly investor updates so it's not like anybody's like ever in the dark and i love having conversations it's more it's just you do hear more from that person who gave you 25 grand than 2 million.

And it's fascinating.

It's fascinating.

Probably because the sophisticated investor knows that like nothing really fundamentally changes month to month.

Like it's like,

it's as if you're investing in the stock market and instead of leaving it in for 10 years, you're actively watching it go up and down every day.

Yeah, it's like a ship.

Like you can't, you don't notice it's off course till a year after.

Correct, correct.

Or that it made incredible progress.

So yeah, it's fascinating.

But no, you should, and or you don't even have to put in money.

Go to Yerba Mate, man.

Say, I loved these.

I want a little skin.

I'll do some reeds.

We'll do some reads.

Give me some free equity for promoting the Yerba Mate because now our audience of 19 million people, they now know what Yerba Mate is.

Let me tell you, when I'm saying, when I meet these morons out in the street, yesterday I did this thing for OBK Kitchen, which is this amazing foundation where they make food.

So Feed the Streets as we hand out the food.

OBK is the, they actually make the food in this kitchen.

It's spectacular.

And all the food just happens to be kosher.

It's wonderful.

It's healthy for people.

And so anyway, there were some real morons there.

This was our audience.

Big, big Toast fans, big Ben Safra fans.

And this girl says to me, she goes, I grew up Orthodox.

Drake and Josh, Drake and who.

I have no idea what that is.

I never saw it.

I'm like, all right, you don't have to tell me you're Jewish, Amish.

I was like, who cares?

So you're an Amish Jew.

But she listens to the podcast.

She's like, but I love the toast and the good guys.

I said, great.

There's nothing worse, honestly.

than when somebody qualifies and people love to do this.

We've spoken about this before.

They love before they give you a compliment to clarify that they don't know who the fuck you are.

They're like,

I've never heard of you.

Your accomplishments mean nothing to me.

If you fell into a ditch and died, it would mean nothing to me.

But my sister, oh my God, does she love you?

And it's like, can you shut up?

Can you shut up?

I don't need all of that.

Just tell me your sister loves me.

Just tell me.

Or, you know what?

You don't even need to tell me that the picture is for your sister.

Pretend it's for you.

What are you not going to smile?

Pretend it's for you.

I love a picture.

I'll never know who you sent it to.

You could have used it as AI and then contacted my father, pretending to be me, and asked to send a wire transfer.

I don't know what you're going to do with that picture.

Yeah.

Don't do that, by the way.

I won't know, but it's a good idea.

People are scary dumb.

And especially when they meet anyone, it's not even someone who has like a bit of celebrity, like celebrity Ben Soffer or someone with like a little bit of notoriety.

It's also just if you exist outside of where they are comfortable, where they are familiar, I, and I see, you know, where I see it mostly is in men 40 to 60 and women, honestly.

And they just, I, I see them like they see me and they see someone who's like maybe excited to meet me or whomever.

I see them short circuit because they,

it's as though they don't want to risk

being

overly impressed or

they're very afraid of their response because

they're so used to being the man or the woman, you know?

What about the person who watches you take a picture with somebody else and comes up to you and asks you what you do?

That's the worst of the worst.

So good.

Can you imagine walking up to a stranger on the street and asking them what they did for work?

You don't know them.

Right.

It's so crazy to me.

It's also so incredibly awkward.

It's like they ask, hey, so what do you do?

Oh, I'm an actor.

Oh, okay, cool.

No, you can't.

What now, Josh?

What now?

Because they think you are saying, I am a waiter.

That's what they think you're saying you're a waiter.

And then in this day and age, right, if it was like the 80s, they either knew you or they didn't.

And if they didn't know you, you were probably struggling.

But like now, you could be on an MGM Plus show.

Totally, totally.

There is no one has seen anything ever.

I was on the plane last night trying to watch Severance for the first time.

You know how much I've heard about this Fecocta show?

By the way, not easy to get into.

Like, this Severance, people have been talking about how brilliant it is for years.

I believe it.

I never seen an episode, and I'm a man about town.

You know?

Yeah.

No, there's so much content.

There's so many actors.

And there are so many, I would say, well, well-paid people in entertainment, far more than there once were.

Because entertainment is so vast, to your point.

It's digital, it's social, it's TV, it's movie.

It's they've they've created, like with a Netflix, with a Hulu, with a Paramount, with all these things, there's so many more opportunities.

I would bet you that there are people in their 50s and 60s, Ben, in your life who, when you tell them you have a podcast and they imagine you with a ham radio

in your living room talking to truck drivers, you're like

breaker breaker

big balls ben coming to you live from the good guys from the upper east side i think that podcasting might be the one thing that they can actually understand though because they just think it's radio they don't understand where it goes how it goes but they understand and think that it's radio anything that has to do with instagram no idea but no idea but do they know like legit and i'm not just gashing you up because it's us and obviously i'm your biggest fan but like you have a major podcast like this is like a high-end like we're not the crazy one percent but we're close and like that's i mean in another day and age of radio we would have billboards everywhere and not just the ones that you got people to give us for free on the subway you know what i mean

i do know they i would say that almost every

It's funny.

I think that I have more people over 40 in my life that listen to this podcast than my friends under 40.

Every single person that Ava Saffer has ever come in contact with listens to this podcast.

Meanwhile, I'm sure you have this too.

Like my best friends don't listen to this podcast, and that's totally fine.

I don't, I don't need them to listen to it necessarily.

But every, I, I, I think that we have a significant amount of 40, 50 plus significant, at least in New York, at least on Long Island.

I I love, I love that.

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And speaking of radio and speaking of podcasting, I'd love to hear what you think about because I think this also connects with the Colbert of it all.

And I think we'll have a smart take on it.

But page six, inside Howard Stern's desperate bid to stay relevant as firing rumors rage on.

Hey now, Howard Stern and his team are reportedly behind recent rumors that his job is in jeopardy.

The allegedly desperate hoax was meant to make the Howard Stern show host 71 relevant, the Daily Mail reported.

They're desperately trying to make this thing go viral to try to boost his numbers for his return, an insider told the outlet.

So for anyone who doesn't know,

Howard Stern has been at Sirius XM basically since their inception, almost 20 years.

He makes $100 million a year.

So he has made $2 billion working for them.

And he's 71, king of all media.

I am his biggest fan.

But, you know, I...

Basically, the rumors are that he was, in quotes, fired.

And of course, some people are running with this idea of, oh, he became woke and too liberal.

And that's why he's being fired.

I just think they're not re-upping his contract because we live in a different world today.

What do you think, Ben?

I think that, and I like that you brought up Colbert.

Like,

I don't think that this is like a controversial statement.

You, you look at the data.

If the show is making them money, if me and you weren't making Dear Media money, we wouldn't have a show with Dear Media.

Sure.

That's it.

That's the way that today works.

Today is no longer a world of loss leaders.

Back then, it was totally fine to pay Howard Stern $100 million

because he was Sirius.

But now you have so many different options.

He came out against Alex Cooper, right?

Like he said something about her, probably because she's also within Sirius.

But if Alex Cooper is making more money than Howard Stern and Alex Cooper is being paid less money than Howard Stern, then the smart thing for Sirius XM today would be to pay Alex Cooper and not pay Howard Stern because today's consumer is not going to Sirius for Howard Howard Stern.

They're going to serious for Alex Cooper.

Howard Stern, and I love him, his main fans, or I respect him, his main fans are dying.

Like, like they're, they're going to be gone.

So they need to spend that $100 million on relevant listeners that are going to make the network money.

And I think the same thing was with Colbert.

And I think it's not only Colbert, it's like late night in general.

We're not watching late night the way that we were watching late night.

So paying these exorbitant fees for these very popular late night hosts when nobody's watching just doesn't make any sense.

Like I'm not turning on late night at night.

I'm scrolling TikTok for a half hour, kissing Ruby, kissing Claude and going to sleep.

Or I'm watching a TV show on Netflix.

I'm not watching late night.

I'm not.

And like, I don't, I know that I'm not in the minority.

The people who like to watch late night are also dying.

And you need, there's a paradigm shift in what we want to watch.

So at some point.

These networks need to prioritize what makes them money.

Like, I don't think it's more than that.

Do you?

100%.

No, I mean, I think that all these news outlets and the Post and all these people are some of the worst offenders when it comes to, like, oh, it's they went woke.

And obviously, Colbert was one of the biggest, you know, criticizers of the Trump administration and whatnot.

I think that it has very little to do with that.

And everything to do with what you're saying is that Colbert's contract was expiring, and so was Howard's.

And they just, they're not going to re-up them.

They pay them a shitload and it's not making sense in the current climate.

It's all about money.

Like if you, if you are woke and you make the network money, they're going to pour money at you.

Right.

Like it's not a, it's just money.

So whether Colbert is woke or not, or I completely agree, it's entirely irrelevant as it relates to his firing.

His show stunk now from a numbers perspective.

But but then the number one show in late night.

So what does that say for Fallon and Kimmel in the restroom?

Like, I guess they all got to go.

It says that if the network is prioritizing making money, then yeah, they need to really think about restructuring what this looks like.

And it's funny, like no shade to the Fallon show.

It's amazing, but they've been letting people on that show that are not A-list for quite some time.

It used to be that when you turned on late night, It was the creme de la creme promoting whatever they were promoting.

Like the idea that me and you could go on a Fallon to talk about our podcast was laughable.

I'm telling you, it's not that laughable.

It's a pitch away from saying, hey, we can draw people to the Fallon show because they need viewers.

Like they just had, and we're not necessarily as big as them, but they just had Hannah and Page of Giggly Squad.

I think they'd had them twice.

Like, again, and I love that show.

Hannah and Page are great.

Like, they're not A-list celebrities.

It used to be that you only had Zach Efron or Brad Pitt on late night.

But because they've gone down a tier, it signals to me that they're they're trying to pull viewers because they don't have any.

Yeah, the whole, the whole environment is weird.

But the other problem is, is that I remember that Howard, because I used to listen to the show nonstop and I don't anymore, mostly just because there are too many other better options in podcasts.

But I used to listen to the show every day.

and when he would go on letterman they would clear the deck for him they would give him three segments which is impossible it never happens right usually if you were the a-list star you were the first guest you got you were there for the first six minutes you got a commercial break and you came back for another six minutes and then there was like the b guest and then an outro he would literally be there for three commercial breaks and it was great because it was like an early podcast because howard and dave had you know 30 minutes total to really chat and to really do bits or things that they had planned.

The problem is, is that podcasting and now that it's video, it's just a better format.

Like we just, we are all so indoctrinated with this idea of like, we know that the seven minutes that Ann Hathaway or Meryl Streep or whatever A-lists are, it's like going to be this canned, prepared conversation because they don't have time to deviate.

So I think that form doesn't work as well anymore in the podcast world.

Yeah.

And these A-listers are going on podcasts.

Like they're doing, they respect podcasts just as much as they respect Defallon.

Like when they're going to promote a new book, like when McConaughey was promoting his new book, he went on two bears, one cave.

Like that's Matthew McConaughey.

Like if he's going on podcasts, that means that he values podcasts just as much as he values late night.

Meanwhile, these late night hosts are making

incredible amounts of money, incredible amounts of money, fully guaranteed, irrelevant of sponsors.

Like

it's the model's broken.

So I, it makes sense to me.

And I don't know why you wouldn't just throw on the good guys or the toast or Theo Vaughn or whatever at eight o'clock.

Why are you, what's what is late night doing for you that we're not doing for you, right?

We need a band.

God, we'd be oh my god, you're so right.

We need a band.

We need a band.

Live at 10.

Can you imagine?

Oh my God, I just got so excited.

We need a band.

We need a band.

Yes, we could do it for pennies on the dollar.

Did Colbert have a band?

Did Colbert have a band?

Yes, but it's not

what we'd have.

No, we could scoop his band.

They're looking for work.

They're looking for work.

We'll get the roots.

Oh, I love it.

Yeah, I was wondering.

I just feel like you can figure it out and do it much, much smaller.

But, you know, then the writers will strike again.

You want to do a speakpipe?

I would love to.

If you want to ask us a question, get some advice, go to speakpipe.com/slash good guys.

Don't give us your what-you-nuts is.

They're not good.

Do it.

Keep it brief.

Brevity is really, it's truly key.

So is context.

Be brief, but give us some context.

Yes, a little context.

Let's hear from Kate, shall we?

Hey, Ben and Josh.

So my boyfriend and I are in the stage of just talking about marriage and engagement and kids and all the things.

And I do like love him dearly.

He is a PJOM of a man.

But I do want your opinion.

So

he is a blue-collar man.

And unfortunately, he loves to chew.

And it's truly one of those things that we just disagree on.

I am in the dental field and I know how bad it is for your oral health, along with the obvious fact that it can be somewhat discreet, but also kind of gross to do in public.

And I've mentioned that I don't want him to continue chewing.

I hate the habit.

And if and when we do have kids, I don't really want them to be around that.

And he

always seems to have a pretty definitive answer that he doesn't really plan on quitting anytime soon.

And he doesn't know if he wants to quit if we have kids together.

And it's just something that I've always had kind of a question about.

Thanks, Kate.

What do you think, Ben?

Remedy is key.

Okay.

Wow.

I can't believe that you're in the dental field and your boyfriend chews tobacco.

That really is crazy to me.

That's crazy.

That said,

if he doesn't want to quit chewing tobacco,

I don't know.

Are you not going to marry him because he chews tobacco?

It's, it's tough.

It would signal signal to me that it goes against everything you stand for.

And by the way, if you're in the dental field, I assume she's a hygienist.

Otherwise, she would have said she's a dentist, right?

Probably a hygienist.

Probably.

So like your main job is literally cleaning people's teeth.

And you have to look at this husband of yours with definitely gnarly fucking teeth.

Like if you really chew tobacco, your teeth are gnarly, gnarly.

So

I don't know how you've stayed together this long.

You seem like that seems like a real,

that seems really crazy for, again, somebody who for a living cleans teeth and probably has fantastic oral care to be with somebody with probably horrible breath and terrible teeth, right?

But you stayed with him this long, so it's a woody nuts for you.

You're in too deep.

You gotta, he's gotta stop.

There's too many easy alternatives, like in a world of Zins, of

Nicorette gum, of vapes, like you prefer they vape, let's be honest.

And you just can't chew, it's gross, unless he like plays for the Padres.

By the way, watch this is like, I don't know, some very, very famous baseball player's wife.

Right.

Like, that would be hysterical.

But yeah, I'm totally with you.

It's not a, it's not something that you do when you're out to lunch.

You don't chew and spit tobacco at lunch when your wife's a dental hygienist.

Have some class.

It'll give you mouth cancer.

It's gross.

Long term, you just can't do it.

And there's plenty of easier, better options now that are healthier.

Agreed.

No good.

No good.

So yeah, tell him.

No good.

Let's hear from Anonymous.

Hi, good guys.

Long time toaster and moron here.

I know brevity is key, so I will just try and get right into it.

I was doing my husband's laundry not too long ago, and I just noticed some skin marks on his underwear.

And so, of course, as a a loving and concerned concerned wife i try and have a conversation with him about it you know asking him you know does he need some wet wet wipes to wipe better you know is he sharding on a regular basis you know what's the problem and so he got very defensive when i asked him this and he was convinced that it's just from sharding um i don't know about you guys but i do not have that problem.

So we had an argument about it saying, you know, that's not a thing.

So, basically, I just need some reassurance here.

Good guys, can you please let me know if this is a regular thing to get

poo particles on your underwear when you fart, or does my husband just need to wipe better, or does he need to get checks for IBS?

Please let me know.

I can't be alone in this.

Love you guys.

Bye.

That was

that was probably like a top five speak pipe ever.

10 out of 10.

Ever.

That was unbelievable.

Okay.

So first of all, it's not sharding.

You have yourself an ass picker.

Okay.

You have yourself a poor wiping ass picker for a husband.

Okay.

And maybe it's sharding, but it doesn't seem that way.

First on the guy, you're only going to notice skid marks, Josh, if you wear white undies.

And white undies, what are you nuts?

Get yourself some black.

Get yourself some navy.

Get yourself a color.

No gray, no white.

Okay.

That's first and foremost.

But yeah, it's tough to go to your husband and say, hey, I noticed that you have some shit stains on your underwear.

You want to talk about it?

That's tough.

That's tough.

So

I think he should just change the color of his underwear and probably stop picking his ass.

What do you think?

I think it's weird that she talked to him about it, to be honest.

It's weird.

When you have a partner, I think you have to have about like, you have to give like two passes a year.

and this goes both directions about like some supremely gross shit that you might run into where you're just like, oh, you're capable of that.

Oh, God.

Like if I had known this, I would have

maybe

taken a second.

I think that, yeah,

I think you can plant things around the house.

Look, I am a pro-wipes guy.

Shout out good wipes.

I think every adult should be using wipes.

I think we lose this habit as a child and we're crazy to not to because it's just just a cleaner overall experience.

And he just isn't, he's not cleaning enough back there, and it's leaving a residue.

Yeah, it's gross.

But it's also like

if you

shit your pants,

just clean your own underwear.

Okay?

Like, don't, you know, your wife's doing the laundry.

You have to give her duty undies.

It's gross.

Like, like,

have some class.

I've said that twice today, but have some class.

I remember once when I was like seven or eight years old, I had a little, you know, whatever.

It happens, okay?

I had a little skid mark action.

And I remember my mom said to me, you know,

grandma found your underwear.

I go, why are you bringing her into this?

The woman is from Warsaw.

Like, has she not seen enough horror?

Like, you shaming me that grandma found my shit on these?

Like,

you're ready?

You ready for this story?

I have such a story.

Okay, so I'm not ready.

When we were growing up,

we lived in one of those classic buildings where you have one washer-dryer on every floor.

They're not in unit.

It's one on every floor.

So it's communal.

You meet your neighbors, you see them, whatever.

I'd say

at least once a week, my mom would walk out of our apartment and into the laundry room.

And we had these neighbors,

smaller woman, 600-pound man.

And my mom would see her holding up this man's,

I don't know, size

40, 48,

the huge undies, huge spraying anti-stain

right at the duty schmear.

Throwing them in and cleaning them.

She would see him.

She would have to hold, like, she would have to pin them as if it was a sheet.

Oh, and she would spray.

Josh, this is no good.

We shouldn't have white underwear.

White underwear shouldn't exist.

No, it's

not.

It's disgusting.

It's really disgusting.

Should we just call it here?

I can't.

I don't think we can continue on the episode.

Should we get to our woody nuts?

We should.

Our woody nuts moment of the week are gripes with people, places, and things, both big and small, whatever, sticking in your craw.

What do you got, Ben?

This is both a woody nuts, but also like I was almost impressed with her.

I was grocery shopping at the great shop, right?

And this woman was just grooving.

She was holding her basket and she had her cell phone with Spotify on, music blasting blasting out loud, like the equivalent of a boombox, just dancing in the aisles, picking up lettuce, dancing, picking up avocados, like so unbelievably loud.

I then circle back.

I leave her.

I'm going in line.

I go to checkout.

She's there with me.

She's grooving in line.

I want to say, what are you nuts?

Put in some headphones, but at the same time, she was so happy.

She made me happy.

I was dancing with her.

She said, you better put in your shop right phone number.

Otherwise, you're not going to get a discount, honey.

And so, yeah, what are you nuts?

But also, I'm jealous of you.

She sounds awesome.

My what are you nuts is I was at the airport getting ready to go see my beloved Ben.

And I'm at this little store, Hudson News type thing.

grabbing some protein bars because I like to have a few things in my backpack for that if we do a water landing and I need to have some sustenance over, you know, a 12-hour waiting for the rescue holiday, you know, the rescue rescue choppers that I can just pop a barbell bar or a David bar.

By the way, have you had David protein bars?

I have.

They're the best.

They're the best.

Love them, love them.

And my health guru, Peter Atia, who I look up to, he's part of that company.

Okay, so I'm getting my protein bars.

So there's literally a woman who's standing in the snack section.

She's FaceTiming her husband and she's not like, I'm like giving her 15, 20, like you have to move quadrants.

You're only allowed 20 seconds in a quadrant of the store.

Then you got to go.

This is not window shopping, hon.

Like, we people need to get on their flights.

So she's literally FaceTiming her husband going,

Okay,

this are the snacks in this section.

He goes, Let me see.

And he's like, Hmm, they got trail mix.

She goes, Pause.

No.

And he goes,

Oh my God.

He goes, they got

Blackberry gummies.

I'm like, blackberry gummies?

They have raspberries.

There is no Blackberry gummy.

Pause.

I'm like, what are you nuts?

I got to go.

That's nuts.

You can't dilly dally in an airport.

You're playing with other people's time.

That's a what are you nuts?

You know what else is a what are you nuts, Josh, not giving this episode five stars.

That's what are you nuts.

Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts.

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Mondays and Thursdays, folks, we will see you

next time.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

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