The Carrie Bradshaw of Istanbul

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the good guys.

Whoa.

Mozamarons, welcome back to the Good Guys Podcast.

I'm sitting here with Jennifer Lopez's caregiver.

It's Ben Soffer.

What happened to her?

Did something happen to her?

She's just getting older.

Okay, cool.

All right.

It's funny.

When I look at her, I actually think, God, this woman mid-50s, you are stuck.

Can we say that women look tight without it being like perceived as inappropriate?

She looks tight.

Olivia says no.

No.

But I'm just talking about her skin.

I'm not necessarily referencing like, okay, okay, so we can't.

No, so not tight.

She's glowing.

Is that, does that work?

Glowing tight.

Glowing.

I want to go back to tight.

I think that saying that somebody's tight, Josh, you look tight.

I know.

I look loose.

How you feeling?

Loose.

Yeah, I'm loose as a goose.

I'm loose as a goose.

I'm also, Josh, I don't know if you noticed.

You actually, you haven't, you've never commented on my hair, but want to, I want to tell everybody something.

Actually, I'm scared.

We're jumping too far.

You continue, and then I'm going to tell my story.

What?

Continue.

Jennifer Lopez's gorgeous.

What is your name?

I don't want to.

Yeah, I know, but

I have a story about my hair, but I don't want to get into it too early.

We're still jiving.

It's still early.

We've been doing this podcast for one minute.

I'm jumping into a story.

We're popping and locking.

What do you remember when Jennifer Lopez, that famous quote of hers where they were like, what would you get from the bodega growing up in the Bronx?

And she was like, ham and cheese.

Ham and cheese.

Orange drink, if you know, you know.

Like, did we know?

No, we didn't know.

We didn't know.

Mom Donnie should hire her to appeal to the people.

Okay.

Is she going to be a Fanta?

I don't know.

I don't know what she was getting.

I really don't.

I assume that it was Fanta.

Fanta is really, really fantastic.

Just so much sugar, Josh.

Have you had this orange poppy?

I'm telling you, it's just like Fanta, except a hundredth of the sugar.

Now that it's owned by Pepsi, I don't know.

But But back when it was privately owned, fantastic product.

Poppy is delish.

But I don't remember growing up.

Obviously, Fanta has always been like a huge European, as we know, the Germans, they created it.

They did.

I don't remember growing up with Fanta.

I feel like it was sort of like dropped in my 20s.

Yeah, Fanta, it was around.

The orange soda of our youth was certainly crush.

Or sun-kissed.

Or sun-kissed.

Sun-kissed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or crush.

I remember, I don't know if you went through a graphic tea phase, but like I had like a crush orange soda t-shirt that I thought was super cool.

And I recently was at my parents because my parents are like hoarder light, hoarder light.

They have like a lot of things that they shouldn't have, including old t-shirts of mine.

And I just completely bit through the collar of that orange crush t-shirt.

I think we've spoken about this before.

I don't know if you did this, but like maybe I was just like so hungry as a young, as a young fat man.

I would chew through this part of all of my shirts.

I would like put it in my mouth and I would chew through, and there's just a hole in like in all of my t-shirts right on the neckline.

Interesting, no?

You're looking perplexed.

You didn't do this.

That's a word for it.

You didn't do this.

So funny.

Max Peck does the same thing with his shirts.

Wow.

But love it.

I don't think it's a food thing.

I think it's a nervous quality or a little OCD tick.

Maybe it's an OCD tick, maybe, or maybe you just got to get the kid a piece of gum.

You know, like maybe he just needs to, maybe he needs to chew more a little.

Maybe a little chew.

How old?

How young is too young for chewing tobacco?

Yeah.

Are we at the age where we could just chuck something?

A zin?

No, you can't chew.

I love it.

How cute.

That's an opening in the market.

Maybe it's a baby zin, but it's just chiclets in the pouch.

Yeah, or maybe there's like, I don't know, good stuff for him.

Like what, what would maybe it's a little protein,

maybe it's a little vitamin C Riddle and would work.

Maybe it's a little vitamin D.

No, I'm telling you, you had a nervous tick with biting through your shirts.

Like, it's amazing how it presents itself.

Like, my friend Len will just go like this randomly.

Interesting.

And I'll be like, Len, you need to, like, I'm telling you, you need to keep that to yourself because they're going to put you in a special class.

I did it from probably 14,

14 to 16 was when I chewed my shirts.

When I chewed them.

Just right here, and it creates an opening.

Yeah.

Wow.

What else?

What other time capsules do your parents hold on to?

Everything.

They have everything.

They have like, yeah, yeah.

They have, I mean, and

they have things

like at other people's houses.

I don't, I also don't know if this is normal, but like they use like a friend in the suburbs part of their garage for their things.

They have like 10 friends that are holding like a random sofa, or like, and it's like, you are never, I'm not using it.

So, who are you holding it for?

Like, you're gonna

never gonna re-upholster it.

You're never re-upholstering it.

I'm talking to Moish and Ron Konkama.

One second, but hello, Moish.

I'm gonna need one-eighth of your garage.

How much will you charge me?

I have an ottoman that it's to die for, and I cannot bear giving it away.

That's exactly how it goes.

It's exactly how it goes.

And it's so funny.

It's not funny.

My mom called me.

This is probably like six months ago.

She's like, Ben, terrible news.

Terrible.

There was a flood in one of the storage units in Queens.

And I'm like, thank God.

Like, there's nothing precious.

Nothing.

All the things that are precious.

My mom has like the biggest photo album collection ever.

That I totally understand.

It takes up an entire closet.

You don't need Grandma Ruthie's Ottoman.

You don't.

You don't.

I will never use it.

You will never use it.

I don't know what you're holding on to it for.

I don't.

I don't.

And then she has like things of mine that are like cute, like drawings or like, you know, like those, did you make for Max and

Chai the little

copper boot?

Some some people make it in silver.

It's like a shoe, like you get like for

like of like of their foot.

No, no, no.

It's you know I'm talking about they dip their fur shoes in bronze.

Oh, that's what it is.

Okay, there you go.

Cool.

Get Max's foot with dipping it in copper.

Not in copper.

I was saying like the hand.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

You got it.

You got it, like a hand, like a wax hand, and then we cover it in copper.

No, we're not putting it in straightened copper.

The kid with the copper foot.

Or remember there was a big thing.

My big brother actually did this for Max, which I love, but it is so old school, which was he got a beautiful silver Tiffany's cup, a small cup with his Max's initials.

That was like a big thing growing up, right?

Yes, definitely.

People love engraving things such as cups.

But like, I don't know.

It's nice.

I don't mean to take away from the gift.

No, it's nice.

It's just more old school.

It's lovely.

It's more old school.

It's more old school.

Yeah, so my parents hold on to everything.

I feel like, does your mom do that or no?

My mom has such an interesting collection of things.

First of all, she orders DoorDash from Costco.

She is a woman who lives alone.

Okay.

Okay.

This is dark.

She'll be like, Josh, you must try the peaches from Costco.

They're out of this world.

I have 18.

Ma, you're not going to eat these before they go bad.

She goes, it just makes sense.

$6 for 18?

I'd be crazy not to.

I'm like, they're going to go to waste.

She's right, though.

It's a good deal.

And perhaps she wants to make a pie and then a cobbler.

You never know.

Eat a fresh peach and then start baking.

Does she bake?

She used to.

She used to bake a lot.

She's a killer baker.

Okay, so then that's, then she can have the 18 pizzas.

She just got to bake them.

She got to bake them.

She, yeah, my mom used to make insane rice krispy treats and rugelach, and she'd always say, my secret is I don't measure.

I'm sure that her secret was butter.

Yeah, that's what it sounds like with those two recipes: that her secret was a fuck ton of butter.

Unbelievable.

The food was, she's an incredible cook with that stuff for sure.

But yeah, so in her apartment now in beautiful Florida, she has a

I'm not kidding you, like a 55-inch TV size print, not a print, a commissioned painting of me in the style of Van Gogh.

Okay.

We need a picture of that.

We need her to send you a picture of that.

We need her to send you a picture of that.

We need to see that picture.

It's wild.

I don't think she ever paid for it either.

I think she just took it and ran.

Is it a one-off?

Is it a one-of-one?

It's a one-of-one.

She has that.

It's like,

it's you, Joshi.

I call it Joshi Starry Night.

And then, then,

and then she also has a doll right next to it, which is Barbie did a Barbara Streisand run of Barbara Streisand Barbie dolls.

That's good stuff.

Barbie Streisand.

So she has a fun, she has a fun collection.

Yeah, but see, these are like nice.

fun things.

This isn't, this doesn't give hoarder energy.

This doesn't, she doesn't sound like she hoards.

No, no, no, she does.

She does.

Like, like, she'll need something, right?

Like, oh, she needs a new, like, she loves to, she's old school.

She loves like those great big yellow legal pads to draw on, right?

Or like to like take notes or whatever.

And

I don't know what notes she's taking.

Woke up today, check.

Gave my credit card number to a nice guy over the phone, not sure who he worked for.

Check.

Gave somebody the PIN number for my Coinbase account that I don't have.

Tried to log on to the internet through my toaster oven.

Didn't work.

Do you also get those texts?

It's like your Gemini account has been fully liquidated.

I'm like, I don't have one.

What are you trying to scam?

What are you trying to do?

Okay.

Like these scammers, Josh, and they're targeting the elderly.

Not the moment elderly, but they are targeting them.

It's sick.

It's sick.

I will get a call.

once every six months from my dad who's who's really ready to give his credit card to the guy over over the phone that says that he has a tax bill.

Totally.

It's like, that's not how it works.

Andy Cohen talked about like, and he's, you know, a young man or a man of his 50s.

He gave away like, because the real scam, right, is like, one is for them to get your password, but sometimes they can

they can really trick you into forwarding your cell phone.

to their phone so then they can do the two-step authentication like so then they get that all right, we're double-checking.

Give us the code that was text to your number.

That is so scary.

And Tiffany,

super famous, Andy Cohen.

So scary.

Yeah, that's no good.

People are that's no good.

Once two off is no good.

What do we go to three off?

Three off?

I can't do it.

It's too much.

I like now.

Every time I try to log in, do you have an Outlook account?

I mainly use Gmail, but I have a rogue Outlook account that I'll log into.

Okay.

And it's, it's more than three steps.

It's a text to your phone.

You have to open an authenticator app on your phone, put in this six-digit code, and then you can get to your email.

I think it's necessary, though.

It's necessary.

These hackers, it's no good.

Have you had to do anything with like Apple passwords and whatnot?

Because they have a new system that's pretty great.

I don't know.

I mean, with Apple, it's all face.

Everything for me is face ID or finger, face and finger.

If you need to redo a password at Apple, if you're at a location that it recognizes, like you're at your home and they've decided this is a safe zone, it's like you're at home and they scan your face.

You're done.

You can now get into your account.

You can redo your passwords, whatever you need to do.

Whereas like I've been, I've had an issue with a password outside my house and I'll just be at the mall and Apple will be like, you're not at home.

We don't know this location.

Even though your face is your face, we don't trust it.

And what happens when Apple gets hacked and the hacker knows that you're at home?

Well, that's always the question, right?

But Apple is like...

I guess.

I guess.

You got to put

a belief in something.

No, I don't believe in data privacy.

Big problem, Josh.

Big problem.

These hackers, big problem.

Spam calls, problem.

No good.

I don't know what to do about it.

We're going to do nothing about it.

No, nothing.

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Welcome to Over 50 and Flourishing, the podcast for any woman who feels like she's lost her compass in this sea of midlife.

I'm Dominique Soxa, news anchor, current YouTuber, author, and like you, somebody who is still learning and growing and asking a whole lot of questions.

It is never too late to change direction and rediscover the strong, wise, and beautiful woman within.

That's why I created Over 50 and Flourishing, a podcast to help us navigate the changes, the challenges, the joy, and the freedom in this season.

Here you're going to find honest conversations where we might laugh and cry all in the same hour.

Let's flourish together in mind, body, and spirit.

Nothing's off the table.

New episodes every Monday, wherever you watch or listen.

You want to hear about my hair?

Please.

Okay, so I've been quietly losing my hair on the top of my head.

And I think it started Ozempic.

Maybe I spoke about this a little on the podcast.

Started, I think, Ozempic, when you have rapid weight loss, you tend to see some shedding.

And

I started taking, in addition to neutrophil, I started taking minoxidil.

Can I push back on that for one second?

Yeah.

And I say this in a, in a positive way, I wouldn't call your weight loss rapid.

It was the beginning, in the beginning.

Like the first week.

I feel like you kind of lost it over a year.

I lost the first 20 quickly.

And then I lost the remaining weight really over two years.

So maybe it wasn't only that.

I don't know what it was then, but

when I asked a doctor, they had had said that they thought that it had something to do with losing weight quickly.

But you, you're, you definitely, you're right.

I, I did lose it the right way pretty slowly, but for whatever, I lost, was losing the top of my hair.

And I always thought I would have the most luscious, wonderful hair because that's what my dad has.

And

as it turns out, it goes through the mom.

And my mom's hair is wonderful, but less wonderful than my dad's.

So in addition to neutrophil, I was taking monoxidil and I took it for two years, Josh.

I took monoxidil for two years and the top of my head looked identical.

So I'm ready to get a hair transplant.

I'm calling everybody I know.

Joshi and Benny going to turkey.

Yeah, I'm ready.

I called gorgeous friends asking them, you know, they have big, beautiful heads of hair.

They probably got hair transplants.

Sure.

New York recommendations, Miami recommendations.

I'll go.

I won't go to LA for it, but I'll go New York, LA.

New York, Miami, excuse me.

I spoke to somebody in New York.

I spoke to somebody in Miami.

They could fit me in in Miami.

Somewhere over the last, I don't know, in the middle of this process, I went to my dermatologist and I told her about this.

And she said, why don't you just try upping your monoxidyl dose to five milligrams?

Right now you're on a low dose, two milligrams.

Why don't you try upping it to five and see what happens?

This was 45 days ago.

The top of my head.

My bald spot or balding spot is completely gone.

Show us.

Prove.

I mean, now I have this, so I don't know what's going to go.

How does it look?

Pretty good.

Looks like it's getting filled in.

I'll send you a picture.

Let me show everybody.

It looks good.

I'll send you a picture.

Josh, there was a hole in my head.

Like

I was ready to get a transplant

and monoxidil five milligrams, 45 days.

That's it.

That's all it took.

In addition to neutrophil, in addition to, I try to take care of myself, but I think my minoxidil dose was just too low.

And so the reason I'm telling you all of this is because before you get fucking surgery, just make sure that you've exhausted all of your other options.

I'm not saying that I won't ever have to get a hair transplant.

If I have to, I'm excited to do it.

There's some wonderful, there's some incredible technology.

But the fact that I was able to solve it by upping the dose and I don't have side effects, I'm very thankful that I went to that dermatologist.

Baruch Hashem.

Right?

I couldn't wait to tell you.

Yeah, pretty crazy.

So, you know what the great comedian Dan Soder calls hair transplants?

What?

Hair tits.

That's what it is for a man.

It is.

That's what it is for a man.

Absolutely.

That's what it is.

Wow.

That's what it is.

I love watching.

I'm on that side of TikTok and I don't know why because the one I need a lot of improvements, but I have enough hair

is people going to Turkey for the hair transplant?

I mean, it just sounds fabuloso.

I mean,

the only risk, right, is if God forbid anything goes wrong.

I don't know what the ICUs in Istanbul look like.

And just and just walking around in Istanbul is also like,

there's a lot of pickpocketing.

My dad, did I ever tell you this story?

My dad almost got mugged in Istanbul.

Really?

My dad, yeah, he was walking around and he doesn't even have like, maybe he like, I guess he, he has a nice watch, but he's walking around Istanbul and all of a sudden this guy comes to rip his watch off of his hand and this the brave guy that he's traveling with literally pushed the guy away and my dad hobbled to the side and somehow wasn't stabbed but yeah this is not a this is not a uh declaration on all on all of Istanbul I'm sure this could have happened in New York City very easily but yeah the Bruce the great Bruce Saffer was almost robbed in Istanbul.

I went there for two days.

I had a pretty great time

the time that I spent there.

But I do dream of one day being, whether it's New York City, somewhere in Europe or anywhere, to be able to catch a pickpocket and say, pick a pocket!

A pick a pocket!

Have you seen that meme?

No, I haven't.

Oh, my God.

It's this like Italian woman catching a pickpocket and she's like, pick a pocket!

Pick a pocket!

She's gonna do that.

That's super disarming, by the way.

I bet you they'd stop.

There was a woman that you haven't seen this recently.

There was an American woman who got pickpocketed and I'm not exactly sure where.

She grabbed the girl by her ponytail and said, give me my stuff back until, but the problem is she had accomplices who ran away with like her passport, her wallet, and she would not let go of the girl's hair until she got her stuff back.

Wow.

Wow.

No, I haven't seen it.

Pretty good.

I haven't seen it.

All I know is that if I'm getting pickpocketed, you can have everything.

Yeah.

We know.

Take it, Ben.

Take it all.

Take it all.

I'm giving it all.

I'm a walking target.

That's why I I don't wear a watch.

That's why I don't wear anything.

I'm a walking target, and I know it.

I know it.

You're going to come to me and you're going to take everything I have.

Yeah.

I want to, I do love, because you do notice on social media when people do go abroad, there was this girl who got like a pretty heavy nose job in Turkey.

And she was like, I'm just going to go for a walk.

But I guess because like you're not worried about running into anyone you know, that there is a freedom to be able to walk around completely

operated on.

And just, she's like, I'm going to go get a pineapple juice.

It's supposed to be good for healing.

I'm like, you go, girl.

She was like, Carrie Bradshaw of Istanbul.

Good for her.

Yeah.

Good for her.

All right.

If you could get any elective procedure right now, not a hair transplant, what would you get?

Ooh, I would get, is this like, is this rotator cuff?

I would get my shoulders.

I'm about to go to significant PT for this.

I would get my shoulders moved back.

This is as far back as I go.

I think you know this.

This is it.

I can't put a barbell behind my head.

I'm so stiff like this.

So I would move it back.

I feel like that's pretty significant surgery.

Yeah.

That's where I would do.

Yeah, adjusting your exoskeleton.

That's probably what I would do.

I'm honestly, I'm very happy with all of my features.

Yeah, my legs are looking good.

No, just my rotator cuffs.

Move them back.

What would you do?

Well, as we know, I'm not like the biggest fan of my tits,

but I but as the great Terry Dubrow told us, like there's really no easy, perfect way to do that surgery with a perfect outcome.

But what there is, is there's one little piece of my love handles that I I don't know why, the doctor just left 15 years ago when I had my little surgery.

And I wouldn't mind just kind of cutting, removing, sewing up, and just being snatched from behind.

I feel like within the next 10,

I'll say 10 years, the breast surgery that Terry doesn't think can be done will get done.

You don't think AI is just and robotics, like they're just going to figure it out and like

just be able to do things that doctors have never even dreamt of being able to do.

I feel like we're advancing at such light speed that there's just like a solid chance.

I guess it's elective.

So they're not necessarily focusing on that.

They're trying to cure cancer or just increase people's

longevity.

But

I feel like they're going to be able to do so many things.

It's hard because

it's just like a little bit of skin, but the scar that it would leave is almost worse than having a little bit of skin around there because it's in a very tough area.

Well, you got to figure out scarring.

That's the grand sort of, that's the final frontier in in many surgeries right because they can improve a lot of things but they don't do it because the scarring would be so negative that it's it's it becomes a net negative i i'm sure that there are tattoo parlors that specialize in tattooing over scars right like you could get it done and then get like a lion yeah just like right there yeah why not just get it done and then put a fucking skull right over it you know i could look like an estonian arm stealer you can and then you're gonna

throw something on your left calf so people think that you're from fort lauderdale like there's a ton that you can do i could look like a croatian guy who's in crypto and you know that it's not going to be good but it's going to be a fun ride to the bottom yeah you're in you're there you're there

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This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Cygnos.

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Your body releases insulin to shuttle that sugar into your cells for energy.

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And you get to learn what foods are spiking your glucose, what foods are keeping your glucose low.

We don't want blood sugar spikes.

That's when you don't start to feel good.

I'm telling you folks, this is it.

Since I started tracking my glucose, I've learned so much about myself.

I always think to myself, you know, I just had a bagel, right?

I'll be on the Good Guys podcast and I'll say, I'm eating a bagel.

And all of a sudden, I can't think.

I have brain fog.

Well, it's because that bagel is loaded with sugar and just shot my blood glucose through the roof.

Maybe I shouldn't be eating bagels when I'm podcasting.

What are you nuts?

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Should we listen to a SpeakPipe?

I would love to.

We have a lot of good ones.

If you want to leave us a message, get some advice, go to speakpipe.com slash goodguys.

Keep it brief.

Brevity is key.

We don't want your what are you nutses.

Here's the first one from Anonymous.

Hi guys, huge moron and toaster here.

So I'm in a little bit of a predicament because I'm getting married in six months from now.

And we just sent out the invites.

And my husband's parents just got a divorce, I want to say about a little less than a year ago.

My husband's father is seeing someone, actually dating someone and he wants to bring his new girlfriend to the wedding but we don't really know her that well um his mom is still real shaken up from it and she's just an angel and I know they would make her uncomfortable but also I see the side of like that's gonna make him happy he really likes this girl and that's a big day for him and like he wants to bring his girlfriend So I don't really know what to do.

I kind of see both sides here and would really just love y'all's input on if you think I should let him bring the girlfriend or not.

Thanks.

How long have they been divorced?

Was it six months?

Yeah, I feel like less than a year, right, Olivia?

Yeah.

I'm not saying that he didn't potentially meet the love of his life, but

under six months, you just don't know.

Then she's in pictures forever, Josh.

And like to have like that much awkwardness over somebody that you potentially won't be with forever.

It's not like a friend of yours bringing a a girlfriend to a wedding.

Like she's going to be in like the most important pictures.

So

I guess the alternative is she can come, but she can't be in any of the formal pictures.

I guess that's okay.

Maybe it's a little rude.

It's like, hey, come, but I got to shove you off to the side.

I would opt to not

having her be invited.

What do you think?

I've learned so many wonderful things from my great father-in-law, Ken.

First and foremost is, here's the thing about Ken.

It'll be a nice family dinner.

Maybe it'll be buffet style.

My mother-in-law, the wonderful Stacy, God bless her.

She'll make a beautiful meal and everyone will solely, you know, walk through, get the salad, get the meat, get the rice, whatever.

But then there's Ken, 10, 20, 30.

Ken, did you eat?

He goes, no, let everyone eat first.

Ken, did you eat?

Wow.

Who are you, Ken?

He's like, I'm holding the babies.

You eat while I'll hold the babies.

This man, this is True Alpha Energy.

T-A-E.

Holy crap.

My new workout brand, True Alpha Energy, True Beta Energy.

But that's what a real leader does is he lets everyone else eat first.

And so now it's funny because me and my brother-in-law, well, we fight Ken to

see who gets to eat last.

Yeah.

I'm like, oh, yeah.

I'm the opposite.

I turn to everybody at the table.

I'm like, if you don't eat quick, you're not going to eat.

Like, I'm

big portion poppy.

We know you're BPB, big portion Benny.

That's name of my workout brand.

And so I very rarely have ever seen something negative happen by me putting myself last.

I know that sounds a little funny.

Totally.

But you're right.

He was married to this woman for X amount of time.

They share a child.

It's about that child's wedding.

And don't make your wife, I mean, it's not 10 years.

It's within the first year.

Don't make your ex uncomfortable.

And by the way, don't make your kid uncomfortable because as happy as they are for you that you might have found love and maybe you did find the next great love of your life, it's like, just get over yourself.

It's about being there for your kid.

And the way to be there for your kid is by being there for their mom.

Totally.

Yeah.

100% with you.

I think.

It's very, yeah, no, it's very, it's, it's strange the more I think about it.

And the fact that the girlfriend would even want to go, like,

she also needs to get over herself.

Like, why would she want to be there?

Weird.

I don't like it at all.

She can't come.

This next one.

In fact, you should kill her.

This next one, you're going to love this.

This next one's from Katie, and we might have a new theme song.

I know.

Get excited.

Oh,

hey, good guys.

My name is Katie, and on my hour drives to work, I listen to your podcast.

When the podcasts are a little bit shorter than an hour, I entertain myself the rest of the way by singing your theme song as if I were Britney Spears.

So I wanted to share that with you guys today.

And I'm well aware that if it sucks, Josh will never let it see the light of day.

However, I grew up performing, so I'm used to rejection.

Here goes nothing.

Too just

big and tall, the subject too small for the good guys.

The mother dream previum podcast team.

It's your weekly routine.

It's the good guys.

And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts?

What are you nuts?

Y'all are the good guys.

We're not the great guys.

We're just the good

guys.

Excellent.

Woo!

Wow, well done.

That was great.

That was a little.

Yeah, there was a little Brittany and a little Devorah with a deviated second.

That was

a little nasally.

Very good, though.

Excellent.

Wow.

Josh, do we need to get a rapper on the Good Guys theme song and make it a longer version, like a Luda?

Where would Luda Chris pop in?

Good guys.

Yeah.

Two Judes, both big.

No.

What are you nuts?

What are you nuts?

Yeah, with the good guys.

No, they're the great guys.

Whoa, Luda.

You know, he comes in right there.

Luda, Luda here with the big guys.

Luda here with the big guys.

They're so fat.

Yeah, they are.

Yeah, Ludacris, with the good guys.

Maybe we get a hologram from Biggie and he just comes out and he goes,

the Gurkguard, you know what coming.

Can you do a pit bull impression?

Mr.

Worldwide.

Mr.

Worldwide.

Yeah, out here on the scene.

Good guys, they're extra clean.

Benny, here, he's got great hair.

The top of his head, it's great, not fair.

Bag.

You're good, Ben.

I like that.

Oh, man.

All right.

So, next one, because we have the great Olivia here, this is important that she hears it.

Hey, good guys.

Gonna keep it short and sweet.

Wanted to get your thoughts on whether or not cutoff t-shirts should be on the street.

This is not it.

I say yes to the cut-off t-shirt.

I don't know what the song is, but.

I was going to say, I was thinking, does Olivia wear a lot of cut-off t-shirts?

This poor person really needed our help.

I might have deleted her message.

Oh, no.

Oh, crap.

Oh, here we go.

Here we go.

Okay.

Beautiful.

Okay, we got it.

Okay.

This next one, I really wanted Olivia to hear it because I want her advice on this.

So let's hear from the wonderful Rachel.

Hi, good guys.

Obsessed with both of you.

I need a straight man's perspective before I truly walk into oncoming traffic.

You guys are both such good husbands, and I literally can only dream of finding men like you, which, by the way, I thought I have, which leads me to the guy that I've been dating for like six, seven months really,

won't call me his girlfriend.

So we, on our very first date, he did say, I'm not looking to jump into a relationship right away.

Right away, by the way, he was in a five-year relationship two years ago.

So like it's not really right away.

But his whole thing is he pissed his 20s away.

And now he's 31.

And like still like saying that, I guess he thinks he he missed out on some like single guy phase and like no you're 31 like no one cares about you at a bar especially not the weird like 23 year olds that are there like so you didn't miss out on anything he said multiple times he never expected to meet someone like me like and that he obviously really likes me he spends all this time with me i don't know why he would waste his time if he didn't care and he's made that clear i can give him that but like this man will not call me his girlfriend like do i give an ultimatum also am i an idiot for sticking around this long like i'm truly in love with him and i don't know what to do and i like really don't think i can fathom like living a life without him please help me love you guys

love this woman needs our help she really does she really does um

And she asked for straight men, so Ben and I can't help.

So

I was going to say, you started by saying this one's for Olivia.

So

Olivia is our straight man.

Tag in first.

Yeah, as a straight man.

One of the things that like stuck out to me, too, was him saying like he feels like he pissed away his 20s and like he was in a five-year relationship.

And I'm like, unless it was an abusive relationship, I feel like taking that stance on a relationship in general is like just throwing away like.

Something that could have been really impactful or like it's throwing the baby out with the bathwater, maybe.

But then again, I don't know his whole situation.

For our darling caller, dear Rachel, I think that your feelings are valid.

And I think that it is a little silly to be like basically exclusive, it sounds like, for like the last six months and to not put a label on it.

However, I've had some friends too kind of go down that path and then they end up like making it official, maybe like nine months in, which is a little weird, but people take their own time in different ways, I guess.

So I would just say, as long as you're both being upfront and I could maybe see, I don't know, an ultimatum sometimes is tricky, especially with somebody who seems like they have commitment issues.

That's kind of what this guy is coming across to me like, at least.

I think that it's fair to express that, like, you need more clarity on the situation, period, because him dragging you along and not wanting to put a label on it is unfair.

So, I wish you the best.

He could just have commitment issues.

Wear it up.

Bless Rachel.

Bless you.

Bless you, Rachel.

I think this is super easy.

I think you just scare him and you'll scare him straight.

Like if he really does like you, which you're saying he likes you, right?

He just feels maybe that he can take advantage of you

based on what you're saying.

You've communicated to him for a long time that you want him to call you his girlfriend and he's not doing that.

He now has all the power.

So you need to drastically shift the power dynamic and say to him, look,

I think we need to take a break.

I need a week.

I need a week to think about this.

You tell me that you like me.

You tell me that you want to be with me.

You've never met somebody like me, but you won't call me your girlfriend.

And so I need to take a step back.

I'm going to talk to you in a week.

And if he really likes you, within 24 hours, you will have shifted the power dynamic.

He'll be texting you and he'll be calling you his girlfriend.

And if he doesn't, then he doesn't care enough about your feelings and he wasn't right.

My, my gut is telling me that he will swing right towards you.

If he was in a five-year relationship, then he's not against commitment.

He's scared.

And he right now has you in a place where you have given him so much comfort and flexibility that he's taking advantage of it.

So

one week, I need my space.

And at least for me, no words have ever scared me more than a girl telling me that she needs her space.

And it really makes you think and reflect.

And I think it would scare him straight.

Because Ben's a stalker.

He doesn't like to space.

That's me.

Stalker software.

The only thing that I would say is

to, I think everything you said is right, Ben, but I would reframe this idea of scaring him and being results-based, because I think that will also drive you crazy.

Because if you're like, I'm going to do this in the hopes that he has a response, and then basically every day you're just going to be waiting by the phone, which you will probably, regardless.

But I would look at it from like a healthy standpoint of like honoring yourself and putting it out there.

Because what I will say is this: is that

there should be a pretty easy and natural resolve to this.

Um,

and it's reasonable what you're asking for.

If there isn't,

and this gets dragged out, it's a preview of more bad to come or more work or growth that needs to be done on his part.

Or,

and this is sort of the worst case scenario, or maybe you guys are just growing at different speeds or your wants and needs are different.

But the good news is, is like, let that be revealed now because you could spend the next six months hoping that he changes.

Or you could just be honest about what you need now and put the ball in his court.

And if the inevitable is going to be pain and sadness that it didn't work out, like for me, I'd say I'd rather have it now than in, I tricked myself for another six months, praying, hoping that they would change.

And now I'm a year in and the result is the same.

Yeah,

I agree.

The more I think about it, he also just sounds like a fuckboy.

I don't like this at all.

It honestly smells.

Seven months, not girlfriend, 31 years old, like saying that you missed out in your 20s.

Like, no, like you,

if she's, if she's as fun and nice as she sounds, which she sounds lovely, then they should together be able to have a great time.

Like, if you're looking at calling somebody your girlfriend and all of a sudden you're tied down and you can't go to a party or you can't go to a bar or you can't have like whatever you want to do, you can't have fun, you're with the wrong person.

Like, I,

I don't know, it's weird.

And now I'm psychoanalyzing, but it sounds maybe like his past relationship, maybe the girlfriend was super controlling.

Like there's a reason why he thinks that calling somebody his girlfriend, all of a sudden, all of it, all fun is lost, you know?

Like,

why would calling somebody your girlfriend after seven months that you really like,

why would that make you, why would that trigger an emotional response that you lost your 20s?

You didn't to what Olivia said.

You didn't lose your 20s.

Why did he lose them?

I think when, what do you guys think?

Like, I think that if you title something, look, he might not feel maybe they're exclusive, but he's like, she's not my girlfriend.

So he can go out and flirt and have fun.

And he just doesn't feel all the responsibilities of having a titled girlfriend.

Yeah.

And after seven months, I think that makes you a dirtbag.

Like, like, she's going to you and she's telling you that she wants that.

So the right thing to do would be to find a girl that doesn't want that.

There are plenty of girls that want something casual.

Like she doesn't want something casual.

So like she's telling you she wants something serious and you're stringing her along.

Like find a find a more flirtatious, easygoing with the win girl.

That's not this girl.

Yes.

Yeah, I agree fully.

It's like when

you, it's like you want, you want to have your cake and eat it too.

You know, it's like, I don't want to be, I want to be like in an exclusive situation with you.

And I want to have all of the like bells and whistles of having a girlfriend and have the emotional, obviously, because Rachel's putting in a lot of like emotional energy into this.

And she's wrapped up in it, of course, as anyone would be.

And so it's like, that's kind of unfair, too, because that's all she's asking is like for clarity, basically, and a proper title, but you want all the other, you know, additives of what that labor looks like to be, you know, in a relationship with somebody, but you're not giving the respect of like sharing, okay, yeah, like let's lock this in.

I'll call you my girlfriend or boyfriend, however you want to do it.

So I think you both have really good points.

Yeah.

We're the good points.

We really are.

Do you have a what are you nuts, Ben?

I do.

Our what are you nuts moment of the week, people, places, and things, gripes with humanity.

You're in New York City, you see a woman, she's barefoot.

What are you nuts?

That's our what are you nuts moment of the week.

That's not my what are you nuts moment of the week, but that's an example.

My what are you nuts moment of the week is I went and I got a gorgeous omelet the other day.

Beautiful.

It's a place called Hampton Coffee Company.

Fantastic.

Best potatoes I've ever had, breakfast potatoes.

It's a side note, but they were absolutely fantastic.

Josh, this omelette came with a little side piece of fruit, okay, like a loose orange, and then an entire romaine leaf.

One loose romaine leaf.

I took a picture of this and I posted it on my Instagram story and I said, what are you nuts?

This is a what are you nuts, a loose romaine leaf.

My woody nuts is that I then got 30 people that said, no, I eat that.

I love that.

I love when they give me things like that.

A little romaine leaf and an orange slice.

What are you nuts?

What are you nuts?

No, these things, this is not right.

The omelette is, you order an omelette.

It should be an omelette and potatoes.

I don't want a piece of fruit.

I don't want a loose lettuce leaf.

I don't want any of that.

It's disgusting.

Okay?

Yeah.

What are you, nuts?

So true.

You don't eat that, do you?

Do you eat that?

Never.

It's disgusting.

It doesn't belong.

And then all of a sudden you have hot egg on what's supposed to be a cold orange slice.

That's such a diner thing.

I know, but like, I never expected people to tell me that they eat it and they enjoy it.

I've never felt less connected to the people that I'm talking to, that they eat the orange slice.

I say, fuck you, and your orange slice.

And I give it back to them.

I finish everything but the orange slice so they see it and they know I wasted it on that fat fuck.

I never should have given him the orange, Should have given him fries.

Big fat fatty.

My witty nuts is recently I read an article that

Jewish prayer books have been given out at Rikers Island, which as we know is the notorious jail of New York City.

To which I have to say, you know that Jewish mothers.

are going to Jewish mother and that there was probably a guy named Aaron who got those those books at Rikers Island.

And you know, Aaron's mother was like, did you hear what Aaron did?

He's got half of cell block A reading the Torah.

He's got sex offenders,

guys in there for murder.

They're reading the Gemara.

Yeah,

we don't need that.

So what do you not?

Give them somebody else's book.

we don't need it you pick any other book we don't we don't need the people at rikers we don't want them no good

can you imagine that with how difficult it is to convert to judaism somebody comes out out of prison goes straight to their rabbi looking for conversion that's what's up yeah yeah jewish prison gangs that'd be sick it would be it would be you get shivved with the yad

for those that don't know the yad is what you point to the Torah with when you read it.

It's this long little hand, which means yad in Hebrew.

You just get shivved right with the yad.

So good.

That's a good episode titled Shivved with the Yod, folks.

You know what else is a what are you nuts?

Not giving this episode five stars.

That's a what are you nuts?

Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts.

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Mondays and Thursdays, we will see you

next time.

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