A Larry David Meet-Cute

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Speaker 6 Make it your weekly routine. It's a good guys.

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Speaker 6 What are you nuts? They were the good guys. They're not the great guys.
We're just so good and good and the good guys.

Speaker 2 Whoa. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.
I'm miserable. Same.

Speaker 4 Here we are in person, yet again, another episode. Completely different day and time.
And we're doing it right on the day that you think it is, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 4 This isn't the second episode of the same.

Speaker 2 We record on Thursdays and release on Thursdays. We're the most topical podcast there is.

Speaker 4 How do we, let's leave it up to the listeners because our morons are really smart for being morons. How can we be more topical knowing that there is a work chain workflow with the great Dear Media?

Speaker 4 They need time to edit in our video. Shout out the Great Jasmine, the great Olivia.
Yes. Everything needs, takes, you know, about five business days to edit.
So we're usually about a week behind. Yes.

Speaker 4 Yes. Is there any way to remedy that?

Speaker 2 No, but I would like to know, sound off in the comments, do you care for topical? Do you prefer our nonsense or do you prefer our commentary on current events?

Speaker 4 I think if we could be topical for at least one episode a week, it would be great.

Speaker 2 Or, yeah, I think we'd be the biggest podcast in the world.

Speaker 4 We would be, which we already are. I don't know why.

Speaker 2 No, the fact that we're the second biggest podcast in the world and we talk about nothing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's us and Mo Robbins.

Speaker 2 Shout out, Mo.

Speaker 2 Big Van.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think, or should we do Patreon?

Speaker 2 Sure. I'm in.

Speaker 4 We're going to fight a lot.

Speaker 2 I'm down.

Speaker 2 All right. Should we do a Patreon?

Speaker 4 Having to schedule a third episode a week.

Speaker 2 Easy. Yeah, but we can do that from home.
You know, we charge them $5.99 a month and make it the lowest quality possible. But it's not video.
It's just audio, Josh.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Maybe we call it the walking club. And we're just on our AirPods walking.
You go on your nice walk by the beach. I go on my nice walk by the dumpsters.

Speaker 2 And we're just walking and talking for a half hour. And that's our Patreon.

Speaker 4 I would love it. Can you record that? I don't know.

Speaker 2 I think you can on your Samsung Ultra. Yes, you can.

Speaker 4 My Galaxy S25 Ultra. So we were talking about, you know, the great Claudia Ashri, great Paige Pack.

Speaker 2 Yes, both great women.

Speaker 4 They are both due. Yes.
Next couple of months.

Speaker 2 Similar timing.

Speaker 4 Similar timing.

Speaker 2 More similar than I realized. Yeah, me too.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that six weeks apart. And so tell me,

Speaker 4 what is the birthing plan? What's our plan?

Speaker 2 Plan is to be HBHBHBHBH until the day. Claudia has actually started to like think like, okay, what does maybe a nursery room look like?

Speaker 2 What themes are we going for?

Speaker 2 All of that stuff. Doing as much planning as she can without like buying things.

Speaker 2 And then, yeah, we're just going to, God willing, wait until that beautiful day. And hopefully she's ready to rock.
And we go in and we have a beautiful guy.

Speaker 2 That's the hope.

Speaker 4 And no induction.

Speaker 2 That's not the plan right now. Yeah, no.
No. Just letting nature take its course.

Speaker 4 If her water breaks at a Whole Foods, at a Wegmans, at a Prèter Marchale.

Speaker 2 Throw her on my back and run to the hospital. Can you imagine? Oh, yeah.
I mean, I'll deliver it. I'm in.
I'm ready.

Speaker 4 If you see Ben sprinting up Madison Avenue.

Speaker 2 Yeah. With Claudia on my shoulder running.

Speaker 4 You just hear footsteps.

Speaker 4 I've never been, my wife's only had C-section, and so I've never been around a person whose water broke.

Speaker 4 Interesting.

Speaker 2 i'd be scared yeah i can't even imagine i can't even imagine i have seen full birthing videos i have have you seen them before we're in like health class no actually brian kelly showed me a video because he's had surrogates of literally the entire labor like i've seen full vaginal labor he filmed it himself josh wow all of it all of it you see everything

Speaker 2 So I'm completely ready. It's kind of like that Demi Moore movie, The Substance.
Right. It's like that level of gore.
And yeah, it's pretty wild. And quickly, shout out to Evie Moore.
Should have won.

Speaker 4 I do wonder, though, when Brian Kelly started filming the actual birth happening, if he went for a second. So that's what it looks like.

Speaker 2 Probably. Yes.

Speaker 4 The Wonderful Points guy, Brian Kelly, our amazing gay king.

Speaker 2 Yes, he needs to come on more. Must.
Please. Love him.
He's so good.

Speaker 4 He's always New York Times bestseller, lucky little sucker.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well.

Speaker 4 Well deserved. He's the best.

Speaker 2 Genius. Pioneer.

Speaker 4 Pioneer. Genius.
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Need to set him up with the Queen of Melrose. Loves her.
The King and Queen.

Speaker 2 The King and Queen.

Speaker 4 The King of the Points.

Speaker 2 The best shower. King of Queens.
So underrated.

Speaker 4 I never really watched.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 Jerry Stiller? He takes the cake.

Speaker 4 He's so good. He is so good.

Speaker 2 He's the only reason that that show works.

Speaker 4 I'm going to blow your mind right now. Tell me.

Speaker 2 You ready? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Name a sitcom of the last 30 years. Name a show of the last 30 years, but more a sitcom that meant a lot to you and see if I've watched it.

Speaker 4 And it can be as ubiquitous and part of the zeitgeist as anything.

Speaker 2 Seinfeld?

Speaker 4 Not really.

Speaker 2 Kerb?

Speaker 4 Are these? Kerb's different. That's, I've seen every episode of Kerb.
Seinfeld.

Speaker 2 It's interesting. Okay, so you're not, you don't watch them.

Speaker 4 Name another one. Modern Family.
Never seen an episode.

Speaker 2 Really good, really good show. Believe me.
It doesn't really shock me, though, that you haven't seen Modern Family. It doesn't shock me that, it doesn't shock me that you haven't seen all of these.

Speaker 4 Name another.

Speaker 2 I just know that you haven't seen it and I can't think of them. I just had a bagel.

Speaker 4 The office? Nope.

Speaker 2 Insame.

Speaker 4 We know bagels give you brain fog.

Speaker 2 What was I thinking?

Speaker 4 I've sabotaged.

Speaker 2 You sabotage me. This episode's done.

Speaker 2 This episode brought to you by brain fog. Oh, my God.
I need my turmeric to reduce the swelling. Brought to you by a neurologist.

Speaker 4 Name friends?

Speaker 2 Friends. No, nothing.
I've seen.

Speaker 2 You name what you haven't seen.

Speaker 2 You name them. I'll tell you.

Speaker 4 Friends, I've seen some episodes sometimes.

Speaker 2 All I know?

Speaker 4 Less than a dozen.

Speaker 2 All I know is Jerry Stiller makes everything better.

Speaker 4 King of Queens, not. I've seen one or two.
Seinfeld, I've probably seen two dozen episodes in total. Modern Family, never seen.
Office, saw one episode, wasn't interested.

Speaker 4 Have seen all the British Office, loved. American Office, less interested.
No shade, zero shade. Obviously, these are incredible shows.
Obviously, I'm in no position to give a reviewer a critique.

Speaker 4 Sure. Just my truth.

Speaker 2 But just not something that you're interested in watching. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I've never seen Lost.

Speaker 2 I've never seen. Wow, that's...
You're missing out. I mean.
there are some shows that you're missing out on. Have you seen Desperate Housewives?

Speaker 4 With Terry Hatcher? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And Eva Longorio. I'll hate it.
I swear on my life, you will love it. Josh, this show is so moronically, fantastically soap opera-y, drama-y,

Speaker 2 dumb, but really well done. I love it.
Love it. By the way, that's how it's not topical, but if we watched something.

Speaker 2 and spoke about what we're watching, like even if it was, I know, Reba, then our beautiful listeners could also watch Reba and then we could talk about Reba. Sure, sure.
You know?

Speaker 2 And then it doesn't have to be topical because we're watching an old ass show.

Speaker 4 Something like Reba, I could see myself getting into because I like when something isn't trying to be more than it is. And I think Reba knew exactly what lane it was in.

Speaker 2 A thousand percent. Bad.
Reba McIntyre.

Speaker 2 Horrific.

Speaker 4 Reba McIntyre sees the battings and other virtues and goes,

Speaker 2 I'll go that way.

Speaker 2 yeah i'm just not i'm trying to think of okay name your top five favorite shows ever can you think of them yes i'm gonna try curb is number one i love love love curb love uh two is probably seinfeld i love love love love love seinfeld okay it's hard because now we're blending comedy and not comedy i really am obsessed with desperate housewives it might be recency bias i loved lost it's funny that you brought that up Loved.

Speaker 2 Breaking Bad. Unbelievable.
Game of Thrones, unbelievable. Like, if we're crossing genres, it's very difficult.
Let's cross them. I think that the greatest can't put it down

Speaker 2 show was Breaking Bad.

Speaker 2 I loved it. So good.
Such a good story. So well.
I just needed more of it. Two, if we're crossing genres, Curb.
I love Curb. I love Larry.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I would just love to sit in a room with Larry and just hear him complain. Like, there's just nothing.
It feels like a show that was just like made for me and I watch it and I love it.

Speaker 2 Seinfeld feels like it's in the same vein, but honestly, if you're a Curb fan, you know Seinfeld's just a little bit worse. It is.
It's just a little worse. It is.
It is.

Speaker 2 And you really see, shout out Jerry. Sorry.
Larry's the guy.

Speaker 2 Larry's the genius. It's not that Jerry isn't funny.
I'm not saying Jerry isn't funny.

Speaker 4 No, he's brilliant in his own right.

Speaker 2 He's brilliant in his own right, but Larry is like another level funny.

Speaker 4 I can't imagine anyone caring less about the comparable genius and comedic ability than Jerry Seinfeld.

Speaker 2 1000%. No, he wouldn't care at all.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Wouldn't care at all.
He'd be like, last time I checked, we're both billionaires.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
I think Jerry's probably richer. He's.
I don't really know why. Not from that pop-thart movie.
Yeah. No.

Speaker 2 No good. No good.

Speaker 4 Shout out. Great Jewish king.
Great Jewish comedian King Jerry Seinfeld. The best.
Speaking of.

Speaker 2 The second best.

Speaker 4 Like my top five are first is Sopranos. Yes.
Second is Breaking Bad. Okay.
Third would be the show Transparent on Amazon Prime. Brilliant, brilliant.
Okay. Beyond.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Californication, I loved with David DuCovy. Not probably a show you could still do.
And then I'd say Five is Curb. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So like, and somewhere in that, maybe Curb and then Californication, but those are my top five.

Speaker 4 But we were talking on the episode before about Kazzie David last week, the great Kazzie David, because you were talking about napping.

Speaker 4 And she recently went viral for saying that naps are ridiculous, overrated, and unacceptable. I agree.

Speaker 2 I agree. I agree.

Speaker 4 They should not be done. No.
Unless you're pregnant. It's a last resort.
Yeah. It's for pregnant people and kids.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Who have the ability to sleep for three, four hours. Right.
Right. Like if you're going into a nap, you need to dedicate the time.
Cat nap? No good. No good.
No good.

Speaker 4 But then there is also studies that a nap that's less than 21 minutes is regenerating. Really?

Speaker 2 I know, right? Less than 21 minutes.

Speaker 4 It's something like that. That's like the NASA.
We'll look it up. I'm going to show you.

Speaker 2 That sounds like a miserable nap. Actually, maybe it is just short enough that you haven't drifted into REM.
It must be that, so you can't be awoken out of REM.

Speaker 4 NASA recommends a 26-minute nap to improve alertness and performance while minimizing sleep inertia. The short nap is known as the NASA nap.

Speaker 4 The power nap, 10 to 20 minutes, best for getting straight back to work. The NASA nap, proven by scientists to improve pilot performance 34% and alertness by 54%.

Speaker 2 Our pilots are napping?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 I don't like that.

Speaker 2 Listen.

Speaker 4 They can't sleep.

Speaker 2 That's why there's co-pilots.

Speaker 4 They take off.

Speaker 2 I'm saying they can go and take a full night's rest while the other pilot is piloting. Sure.
A cat nap? Mid-flight. It's so bright up there.
I don't like that at all.

Speaker 4 My friend used to be a teacher for Boeing, and I would say, what do you do up there? And he goes, we cover the windows. It's too bright.
Wow.

Speaker 2 I mean, you don't need to see anything.

Speaker 4 It's on autopilot. They're watching for weather.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And birds.
Not up there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 35,000 meters. No, a little lower than that.
And then they come, the birds, they come into the engine and they crash. I want to know how many plane crashes a year happen from birds in the engine.

Speaker 2 There was one that just happened. This is a normal thing.

Speaker 4 It is. Bird strike.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 4 Speaking of, the great Brian Kelly, and I know we fought about this, that the people who in Toronto flipped over in the Delta flight, they got offered a cool 30K. Yes.
No strings attached.

Speaker 4 You said that's not good, right?

Speaker 2 I didn't think so. I know that Brian did go on record saying, take the 30K.
There are no strings attached. You can always sue later.

Speaker 2 i just don't like it i'd rather you sue now that's all sue right now my motto is sue now sue now yeah sue now sue now

Speaker 2 name of a chinese woman

Speaker 2 sue now it's gorgeous yeah

Speaker 4 well he also mentioned that the people the miracle on the hudson in the sully flight yeah landing on the hudson everyone there got 4k oh my god that's terrible can you imagine terrible no i can't you You're paying attention to the water.

Speaker 2 These airlines have water.

Speaker 2 These airlines have so much money. Do the right thing.
The thing is, this stuff happens and has been happening so much more often than people realize.

Speaker 2 I bet you they have to pay out millions and millions and millions of dollars a year in these traumatic events. You just don't know about all of them.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So maybe like, I mean, 4K, 70 times is what, 280,000 times 100 events. Some good coin.
It's not bad. 28 million.

Speaker 4 Okay, Benjamin. So this morning I arrive in beautiful Newark, New Jersey, right?

Speaker 2 No, nobody's ever said that.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, there's a song about it, friend. In Newark.

Speaker 2 Love it. That's the song.
Yeah, it is.

Speaker 4 I thought so. We can't afford the rights to that.

Speaker 2 I won't sing anymore.

Speaker 4 But so I arrive in beautiful Newark, New Jersey.

Speaker 2 I wake up. I'm disheveled.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 Night guards half flying out of my mouth. Yes.
And I go, what do I have on tap today?

Speaker 4 Take out the Galaxy S25 Ultra.

Speaker 2 Boom. Now brief.

Speaker 4 Yep. Va voom.
Vavoom. Here's what's next, friend.
Yep. Right.
With now brief with Galaxy AI, it's going to tell me what I got going that day, what the weather's going to be like.

Speaker 4 Also, by the way, here's what you have. You're going to be meeting with the beautiful Ben, Midtown near Times Square.
It doesn't tell you that Times Square is a hellscape. No, it doesn't.

Speaker 4 But it does tell you the address of where I'm going.

Speaker 2 It's unbelievably convenient, Josh. Unbelievable.
You want to be briefed on your day. You want to know what's going on the second that you wake up.
You want to know, is it shorts weather?

Speaker 2 For me, it's always shorts weather. That's why I have this cold.
Yes. It's always shorts weather.
You want to know what time is your meeting? Where is your meeting? Without going into that calendar.

Speaker 2 Nobody needs that. We don't need to see it.
We need it all aggregated in one place. What do I have all day long? And Samsung thought of it and made the now brief.
And we're all thankful for it.

Speaker 4 How easy is that? Get your Galaxy S25 Ultra at Samsung.com. Now Brief displays daily select information from select apps, may require internet connection.

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Speaker 2 Like.

Speaker 4 Before we get off Cassie David, I've told you my story of meeting Larry David, right?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 4 I think I've told it on the pod before, but say it again. I had a bagel.

Speaker 2 My brain's inflamed. I can't remember anything.
There he goes. I had a bagel.

Speaker 4 The I had a bagel defense.

Speaker 2 Can you see, though, how rapidly it affects me? No. Okay, well, I feel it.
Continue. I can't remember any sitcom I've ever watched.
You're like, name a sitcom. I'm like, can you stop it?

Speaker 2 He's like,

Speaker 2 no, I can't. Stop it.
He's like, no, name a sitcom. I'll tell you if I've seen it.
No, you name them. The easiest layup question, by the way, in history.

Speaker 4 He's like, days of our lives.

Speaker 2 So, Kazzy David.

Speaker 4 So, Pete Davidson, Kazzie David, this is when they're dating many years ago.

Speaker 4 I had become friendly for a second with Pete Davidson, and he was nice enough to invite me to a memorial for his father, his wonderful father, hero, who sadly passed away during 9-11.

Speaker 4 He was doing a memorial for him, you know, 15 years later at the Soho House in Los Angeles. Lovely.
He says, please come.

Speaker 2 You've never told the story. Okay.

Speaker 4 So I go, happy love to. Thank you, Pete.
So we go, real star-studded occasion, some very cool people there. I'm there with my wife.
We're recently married.

Speaker 4 I see Larry there with obviously his wonderful daughter.

Speaker 4 The only way to describe her is my wife would say, this Thought Diana approaches me, and this girl, I've never seen someone with such shark eyes in my life.

Speaker 4 Now, stunning person,

Speaker 4 very,

Speaker 4 very well known on the social medias, sort of a professional, attractive person. Sure.

Speaker 4 Let's just say.

Speaker 2 Got it. OnlyFans? A pap, you know?

Speaker 4 Understood. I think this was pre-OnlyFans.

Speaker 2 But like,

Speaker 2 jugs out. Yeah.
Understood.

Speaker 4 So she zeroes in right for me. I go, this is a room of very famous people.
You are really settling here. Sure.

Speaker 2 And I'm with my wife.

Speaker 4 And she is is extremely flirtatious. I go, hello, nice to meet you.
This is my wife, Paige. And she literally didn't care, was like, hi.
And next, kept going.

Speaker 4 So at this point, my wife and I are like getting a kick out of it of how like ridiculous this is. So then I see out of the corner of my eye, Larry's leaving the party.

Speaker 4 So he's kind of making his way out with a few other people. And I see Fatiana clock Larry.
So now she's upgraded and her shark eyes are on Larry.

Speaker 4 And she sees me, sees Larry, needs something to say and goes, hi, Larry. Do you know Josh? And I go, fuck.

Speaker 4 I go, this isn't how I wanted it to happen.

Speaker 2 Not like this. Not like this.

Speaker 4 And I see him look over at me and he gives me a kind of a,

Speaker 4 and I literally looked at him. I said, no need to say hello.
Nice to meet you. Like, please keep going, Mr.
David.

Speaker 4 Do not let this thought, Deanna, like take up any more of your time. He made his way out of the party.
She followed him to the elevator. I'm pretty sure that's where it ended.

Speaker 4 That was sadly how I got to meet a hero.

Speaker 2 But I love that he true to character. Have you met Josh? Eh, you can go.
Okay.

Speaker 4 He's just so good.

Speaker 4 I think he would have given me the 15 seconds if I really was like, hi, nice to meet you.

Speaker 2 No, but that's not how you want to meet him. No, that's not what you, you'd rather not meet him.
Exactly right. No, you want to meet people in a situation where it can leave a lasting impression.

Speaker 2 Otherwise, you don't want to meet him at all.

Speaker 4 As a rule, I'd rather not meet you. For sure.

Speaker 2 Most of the time when you meet someone, it's a letdown. You don't want it, especially a guy like Larry, even though I feel like having even just a dinner with him.

Speaker 2 But see, I'm now even thinking, I guess it's because his character really is just him as a person, it would seem.

Speaker 2 Whenever you get in the room with somebody, you expect them to be this version that you've seen on TV. And for 99.9% of people, that's not the case.
Like the actor is acting. Right.

Speaker 2 And then in person, they're a person and they're a different type of person. Yeah.
Don't meet your heroes.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I mean, I think there's also these actors who you meet them and you realize that their great desire in life is to be other people.
Yes.

Speaker 4 And so when they have to be themselves, they're a bit of a shell.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yes.
Yeah. Boring.

Speaker 2 Lame.

Speaker 2 Who would? Not that I'm mentioning anybody in particular, but who? Blame. No.

Speaker 2 I try not to be friends with that. I I made all this up.
I hate myself. I'm looking like other people.

Speaker 4 What's the plan when Baruch Hashem, the wonderful Claudia, goes into labor? What are your sort of plan strategies as the dad to be on delivery day, D-Day?

Speaker 2 Whatever she needs, whenever she needs it. But that's me today.
Like I am, I think you know this, dinner time. I am cooking her, like whatever she's in the mood for, whatever.

Speaker 2 She takes care of me in more ways than I can possibly describe. Like this woman is like, besides being a mogul, just runs the house.
Like she just, it's her thing. She loves it.

Speaker 2 She's definitely a little controlling on that end, but it's perfect. It's perfect.

Speaker 2 And then when it comes to sustenance, when it comes to emotional support, like it's, I am, I am there for her 24-7, whatever she needs. And I love that.
I wouldn't have it any other way.

Speaker 2 So I don't think that's going to change. Like whatever she needs that day, I'm there.
In terms of like a plan, my plan is not to be annoying. My plan is just to be there.
Whatever she needs, great.

Speaker 2 Get out of the way. If not, watch that baby like a fucking hawk the second God willing is born.
Not let, like, I don't know. We're now, I think it's because of desperate housewives.

Speaker 2 We're now like, if the baby goes somewhere else, they're going to switch him.

Speaker 4 So it's like, keep eyes on baby.

Speaker 2 So I'm going to watch baby, make sure that he's all good and that nobody drops him on the floor and return him back to his home and to his mother's breast, to her bosom.

Speaker 2 And yeah, do what I can, but get out of the way, I think is the plan. Is that a good plan?

Speaker 4 Yeah. I mean, look, when they go into labor, like my wife needed a C-section, she was induced, but we were there for like over a day and a half.

Speaker 4 So now, knowing that we're going to be there for a third time, I've got already, I already got my food places. Yeah, you know what you're doing.

Speaker 4 You know, the Great Cedar Sinai in California, this is a high-end experience. So, you know, there's a Magnolia bakery within 800 feet.
I'll be getting the banana pudding, obviously. So good.

Speaker 4 Jones on Third Chinese Chicky Salad.

Speaker 2 So good.

Speaker 2 Nice. Yeah, you're near good stuff.
You're near good stuff.

Speaker 4 And we're having a C-section. And so it's like, I literally, like, if we're having a C-section at two in the afternoon, I know I'm going to put in the order for a pickup at four.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Because you know you're good.
I'm good. How long does a C-section take? And she's obviously, they're under, right? No.
No. Oh, they're not.
They're just numbed.

Speaker 4 They have a spinal, they have the equivalent of an epidural, but it turns into a spinal block, which basically from your diaphragm down, you feel nothing.

Speaker 4 Because they want to keep you awake because the anesthesia can inferior get to the baby.

Speaker 2 Oh, I don't know. I didn't realize that you were awake.
That's terrible. I've had that's when I had my wisdom teeth pulled.

Speaker 2 Every, literally, every woman's like, he's about to fucking relate his wisdom teeth to his section.

Speaker 2 But it's the same. Okay.
I remember they gave me local, and you could just hear the crunching of the teeth. You could feel what they were doing.
I can't even imagine.

Speaker 2 You must feel them literally moving around organs. You must feel them cutting.
Like, not, not feel pain, but you feel.

Speaker 4 Oh my God. That's always the moment because it's about,

Speaker 4 you know, C-section, it's a massive, real thing in surgery. And I don't mean to undermine it in any way, but when C-sections are scarier when they're emergencies, like truly scary.

Speaker 4 And that, in that instance, a baby can be out in 90 seconds.

Speaker 4 If it's planned and it's not under emergency circumstance, in my experience, it's about 12 to 15 minutes from the start till baby comes out.

Speaker 4 And then it's about 30 minutes of like closing and making sure everything is like copacetic. But what I know the moment, because I'll be there by Paige, beautiful little head right here.

Speaker 4 I'll be coaching her, say, you know, good for you. Yes, you got this.
You are mother nature. You're gorgeous.
You're fulfilling your duty in life, you know.

Speaker 2 And there's some duty. Yeah.
And, you know, and if you're duty, no, no duty with seasonal.

Speaker 4 That's true.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, God's plan, God's plan.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, and then also the other side, they're not like us.

Speaker 2 Yeah. God's plan.
Yeah. It's not like us.
No, it's not.

Speaker 4 And then

Speaker 4 the doctor goes, little bit of pressure. And that's what I go, here we go.

Speaker 4 A little bit of pressure. And then

Speaker 4 you hear it.

Speaker 2 And how big is the C-section opening?

Speaker 4 It seems bigger than it is, but if we're being honest, it's probably like that. I mean, it's...

Speaker 2 It's like this.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but it's not up there. It's right above your pelvic, like it's right around your pelvis.

Speaker 2 It's fupa area. Got it.
Fupa region. Got it.
I've told you that my dad doesn't have a belly button.

Speaker 4 Say more.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Bruce Saffer's had multiple hernias and one time he just stole his belly button.

Speaker 4 They foregoed it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and they didn't replace one. So he just has a line, no belly button.
He went in for a hernia surgery and they never gave him back a belly button.

Speaker 2 I'm thinking of this because it happens right in this area. You know, you could lose a belly button.

Speaker 4 No, C6 inches low.

Speaker 2 Even lower.

Speaker 4 Oh, I would say like four to five inches below the belly button.

Speaker 2 Got it.

Speaker 4 Anatomically, how you're building. So it's here.
It's fupa.

Speaker 2 It's like, but it can't be too fupa-y.

Speaker 4 It's below the underwear line. What? In most cases.

Speaker 2 I can't even. And then they pull down.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's like right here.

Speaker 2 It's here. And then they pull down.

Speaker 4 And the baby comes down, right? Because it would be coming through the canal.

Speaker 2 Oh, that makes a lot more sense. I always had in my head, like here.

Speaker 2 And you're just like moving around organs. I think some organs are.
And you'll be clearing.

Speaker 2 Wow. Yeah.
Holy Holy crap. Ladies, did you know all this?

Speaker 4 Hey, gals, you're welcome. Your favorite pregnancy podcast.
The good guys.

Speaker 2 We're here to tell you all about your C-section.

Speaker 2 What to expect when you're expecting from the good guys.

Speaker 4 You think we're here for the husbands. We're not.

Speaker 2 Oh, we're here to tell you all.

Speaker 4 Can you believe this?

Speaker 2 Oh, thank you, Ben.

Speaker 4 We're sorry.

Speaker 2 We can't apologize more. Idiots.
Dumb idiots. What a dumb podcast.

Speaker 4 Sorry, we can have an expert on if you guys prefer. I don't mean to mansplain this at all.
What a loser. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Back to the floopa, though, because I'm curious. Yes.

Speaker 2 It's that low. It's rather low.

Speaker 4 And it's bigger.

Speaker 2 And then obviously when they and then is it like a is it sort of like a horseshoe shape, like a hood? You flap it open, baby comes out, flap it down, sew it up.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's slightly you. It's slightly you-ish, but it's pretty straight.

Speaker 2 It's pretty straight, and then it just opens like, like the jaws of life. Yeah, it's open, and that's where that comes from.

Speaker 4 The jaws of life.

Speaker 2 Probably not, but.

Speaker 4 Well, the idea of the jaws of life is like using a tool to open to save your life from a car accident.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yes.
Oh, yes. Right.
Okay. So no, not that, but wow.
Okay. Yeah.
So the plan right now is no C-section, but we'll see. I don't know.
You never know. Did Paige originally plan to have a C-section?

Speaker 4 She kind of always knew that we were... The baby was breached

Speaker 4 two weeks before, so it was feet down.

Speaker 2 Understood.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 2 but they didn't try and turn him or they did.

Speaker 4 So they can do that, but it's painful. And you have to usually, again, this is my experience.
I cannot speak for everyone.

Speaker 4 ROB said, we do it in the hospital if we're going to do the turn because you can induce labor. So we want to be there.
God forbid anything changes. And they, you know how they do it?

Speaker 2 With their hands on the front. I literally just got this explained to me.

Speaker 4 They oil you up.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's nice. Yeah.
Wow. I'll get turned on.
No, I'm kidding.

Speaker 2 Our obese hilane. Do it to me.

Speaker 2 Just like rubbing my belly until I inevitably have to take a dump.

Speaker 2 I get the coconut oil out.

Speaker 2 I'm inducing a fat shit.

Speaker 2 Did you hear me whistle?

Speaker 2 Oh my god.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's me. Deucey's gut.

Speaker 2 Oh boy.

Speaker 2 This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by Booking.com. Friends, you deserve a vacation, okay? The winter was rough.
It was rough. It was cold.
We were freezing here in New York.

Speaker 2 We need and deserve a nice little getaway. Where should we go? Where should we go? Should we go to the beach?

Speaker 2 Maybe we should go to a lakefront property, take out some kayaks, you know, go into the middle of the lake. Claudia will hate that.
Let's scratch that. Let's go to the beach.
Let's go to the beach.

Speaker 2 Okay. We're going to get some cabanas.
We're going to have our toes in the sand. Doesn't that sound amazing? We're going to go up to our room.

Speaker 2 Maybe we're going to have a little kitchenette so I can make some omelets in the morning.

Speaker 2 We're going to pop out to our beachfront terrace, look at the ocean, take a deep breath and say, oh, God, thank God for booking.com. Booking.
Yeah, that's right, folks. Booking.com is it.

Speaker 2 Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay within the U.S., I know they'll have exactly exactly what I am looking for because they have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals.

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No matter who you are, booking.com helps you find the stay that is ridiculously right for you.

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Okay. Maybe we want a spa weekend.
A spa. Oh, I want a freaking spa weekend, a nice massage.
Okay, I digress.

Speaker 2 Folks, booking.com lets you find exactly what you're looking for every time. So folks, find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com, booking.yeah.

Speaker 2 This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Chewy. If you're a pet parent like me, you know about Chewy.

Speaker 2 And when they say they have everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy, they're not messing around. First, we used Chewy for Theo.
Rest in peace. Now we use Chewy for Romeo.

Speaker 2 Thank God he's happy and healthy. Did you ask? You didn't even ask.
How about saying, how is Romeo? He's doing great. I digress.
Chewy is it, okay? You need those bones.

Speaker 2 They love those circular bones, those bully sticks. They run through them.
It's crazy. They're addicted.
And by there, I mean Romeo, he loves a good bone. I like to think of it like a good book.

Speaker 2 You pick up a good book, he picks up a good bone, and he always needs his bones. And we always get his bones from Chewy.
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Speaker 2 See site for complete details.

Speaker 2 Can I read you an email? Sure. Okay.
You're going to crack up. So we get these emails to the Spritz Society email like database.

Speaker 2 We get these emails about bachelorette parties, people wanting free goods all the time, right? Sure. We get probably 40 bachelorette emails a week.

Speaker 4 This is from influencers or no, these are just from random people.

Speaker 2 Like, hey, I'm a huge fan. I would love to have Spritz at my bachelorette party.
Is there any way that you could give me a couple of cases or like some free koozies or some swag?

Speaker 2 I'll take some pictures for you. Can you help me out? I get like literally 50 a week.

Speaker 4 And it's literally just charity.

Speaker 2 Yeah, full-blown charity. I never think anything of it.
This one was particularly insane. so I had to read it to you, okay? Bachelorette party.

Speaker 2 Hi, my name is Rebecca, and my best friend Cara is getting married this June in New York.

Speaker 2 We are in the middle of planning her bachelorette party and wanted to see if you would be interested in sending any donations or gifted collaborations.

Speaker 2 She's a huge fan of you guys, so I wanted to reach out in the hopes of surprising her. Her bachelorette is in April in Charleston, and we are going to have about 15 people there.

Speaker 2 She's had a rough go of planning so far with her makeup artist, with her makeup artist canceling and her caterer unexpectedly passing away.

Speaker 2 So hoping this may ease her stress and get rid of the bad vibes. Thank you for considering.
Her caterer unexpectedly passing away.

Speaker 4 But her makeup artist did cancel.

Speaker 2 Her caterer unexpectedly passing away.

Speaker 4 But the juggler wasn't available.

Speaker 2 We'll send her some cases.

Speaker 4 Will you?

Speaker 2 For sure. No.
No way. Because you lied to me.
Your caterer didn't die. I read this.
I'm like, are you fucking nuts? You couldn't have come up with anything else. Your caterer died? Whose caterer dies?

Speaker 4 It's just, for me, it's the amount of, what's the word? Entitlement.

Speaker 2 Oh, there's so much. So much.
I get them all the time. So much.
Hey, can you send this to me? It's like, no, but you can buy it. Right.
You can buy it.

Speaker 2 By the way, you can buy it everywhere in April at all Targets. Did I tell you that?

Speaker 4 Did I have anything to do with that? No. No.
I was doing, I was pulling some strings behind the scenes.

Speaker 2 Well, then maybe you did.

Speaker 4 There's a big Good Guys fan high up at Target. And I said, talk to Ben.

Speaker 2 Amazing. Well, if you did, it'd be great.
I love you.

Speaker 4 I'm really looking for a kickback. Just a hug.

Speaker 2 No, I'll give you a hug now. Yeah.
Just spray my hand. Great.

Speaker 4 You're still sick. You're still on so much antibiotics.
I know.

Speaker 2 I know. But yeah, all targets.
Speaking of sickness, it's just the logistics thing. Hard as hell.
People don't realize. It doesn't just show up there.
Sure. In 40 states.

Speaker 4 Yeah, 40 states. Why? Do not all states have targets?

Speaker 2 No. And if they do, they don't don't all sell alcohol.
Like New York, if you go into New York Targets, only one of them has alcohol. All these random state laws.

Speaker 4 Utah, dry counties. For sure.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 California is wet as hell. Couldn't be wetter.
Yes. Super wet.

Speaker 4 We get shithed. It's wet.
The state of poor decisions. Gavin Newsome has a podcast.

Speaker 2 Big time wet.

Speaker 4 How does Gavin Newsome go, you know what?

Speaker 2 He has a podcast.

Speaker 4 He goes, I know I'm getting a lot of heat lately, and it's been a rough couple of months. I know what I need.

Speaker 2 Podcast. Does he run ads? Probably.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do it for Spritz, baby.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Did your house burn down? Are you looking to chill out after you lost everything you've ever held dear? Have a spritz.

Speaker 4 We've got a low alcohol content for those high insurance rates.

Speaker 2 That's right.

Speaker 4 Your house burned down.

Speaker 2 No. Oh, my God.
I love it. I love it.
Okay.

Speaker 4 First one from the great New York Post. As we know, shout out.
Greek island with almost no dementia.

Speaker 2 They're eating too many bagels.

Speaker 2 Before they record.

Speaker 4 Follows a twist on the Mediterranean diet, the two drinks they love.

Speaker 4 You've probably heard of the so-called blue zones, five areas in the world that longevity expert Dan Buetner identified as having residents who routinely live to be over 100.

Speaker 4 They are Okinawa, Sardinia, Nicoya, Costa Rica, Lomalinda, California, and Acaria, Greece.

Speaker 4 Well, recently revealed that on the idyllic Greek island of Acaria, there are some drinks that people are enjoying that are keeping them fit as a fiddle.

Speaker 2 Please tell me. Okay.

Speaker 4 The first one is the Mediterranean diet amplified. That's right.
They're having less fish and meat, a lot more greens, and drinking olive oil.

Speaker 2 Interesting. Yes.

Speaker 2 And like a shot of olive oil.

Speaker 4 A little bit of olive oil.

Speaker 2 Okay. I like it.

Speaker 2 I like it.

Speaker 4 And spilling the tea, Akarians are drinking herbal teas every day.

Speaker 2 Potstream. Shout out.
Podstream. They make a great herbal tea.
Fabulous. Vesta makes a great herbal tea.
Unbelievable. Don't I know it's unbelievable.

Speaker 4 So it's basically it's the olive oil. It's green leafy veg and tea.

Speaker 2 Great. Good to know.

Speaker 4 We'll get you on that diet. I'm in.

Speaker 2 I'll try it for a week.

Speaker 4 I know what I'm getting you for your birthday. Yeah.

Speaker 2 A good olive oil? I'm in. Yes.
Why not? Washed in some fluoride water.

Speaker 4 i'll try it i'm good i'm good well there is the best and worst things to order at six fast food restaurants according to an oncologist okay okay well the worst thing

Speaker 2 french fries really that's upsetting i want to know how that same oncologist feels if you're making french fries at home is it really what they're doing there is it the frying in general i know we're divided on the seed oils i don't know anything i know nothing I know what they tell me.

Speaker 2 I don't believe what they tell me necessarily. Sure.
But can't imagine that frying french fries in a little bit of oil is so bad.

Speaker 2 Isn't it exactly what we said earlier where it's like, it's about how much and how often? Sure. Not once a week.
Once a week you have french fries for McDonald's. Is that really going to kill you?

Speaker 4 I think you'd probably be better making your own.

Speaker 2 You would be. But why? Why are you better making your own? If it's not the seed oils, what's the difference?

Speaker 4 I think that seed oils, I think there's probably more ingredients in their processed.

Speaker 2 That's what it is, the processed.

Speaker 4 I mean, if you take like a potato gets a bad wrap, it is a vegetable.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Forget.

Speaker 4 Love a sweet potato. If you like did, I'll tell you what, and I know you're a Faye man.

Speaker 2 I'm building. I'm building.

Speaker 4 Okay. You take a beautiful baked potato.
Sure. Right.

Speaker 2 Sure. Do a little butter.
Sure.

Speaker 4 You know, not, don't go nuts.

Speaker 2 Sure.

Speaker 4 Don't go nuts. Sure.

Speaker 2 Irish butter. Put that in there.
Carry gold. Get a little fai.

Speaker 2 A little faille. Okay.

Speaker 4 Right. A little yogurt instead of the sour cream with Greek yolk.
Delicious. Do a little veggies.
Do even a little sprinkled cheese on it. You want to do.
Maybe do it in the British style.

Speaker 4 Do some of those beautiful red baked bean thing. You know, they do the white bean, the beans on toast? Sure.
Do it on toast.

Speaker 2 Throw that into your potato? I'm in. Why not? I made myself a taco salad last night, Josh.
Shredded lettuce, beef, et cetera, onions, whatever.

Speaker 2 I had this much left in a Tostitos salsa. And I thought to myself, because I'm a man that likes to experiment and perhaps stumble upon a great recipe.
Also, I'm not wasteful. Sure.

Speaker 2 I'm not wasteful at all. I put a little bit of low-fat mayonnaise, a little bit of sour cream, a little bit of sriracha into the tostitos, shook it up.
It was the most delicious dressing.

Speaker 4 I have no, I have no doubt.

Speaker 2 Delicious. I don't know how we got here, but it was so good.
I'm glad we're here.

Speaker 4 Me too. Anyway, Chick-fil-A, you might want to skip the fries, okay? And instead, the healthier options, the spicy Southwest salad, the kale crunch, or the market salad, which is a fish.

Speaker 2 Obviously, who the fuck is going to Chick-fil-A for a salad? It sucks. It sucks.
It sucks. And I did read something recently.
There are too many ingredients in everything at Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 2 I saw something. It was like 40 ingredients in their chicken sandwich.
Right. No, there's chicken.
There's bread, which should be flour, eggs, water, yeast.

Speaker 4 Like, how do you get to 40?

Speaker 2 Like, this is the problem. I don't know what's in that, but.
I don't know why fast food places can't just make things a little bit cleaner.

Speaker 4 Because it's uniform. They got to make sure that the one, one, the Chick-fil-A sandwich you have in California.

Speaker 2 Tastes exactly the way that it does everywhere else. That's right.
Even if it kills you. It's one way.

Speaker 4 It's you've heard that about Starbucks, right? Yes. That's why the beans taste a little burnt.
Yes. Yes.
One flavor, one taste.

Speaker 2 I love the Starbucks food, though. So good.
We've spoken about this, that spinach wrap. Double baked.
A plus.

Speaker 4 Now, at my local Starbucks, they know, because you can't do it on the app. By the way, Starbucks, if you're listening, let me adjust on the app.
I'm not going to be a snur.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to ask for like, for you to remove the egg whites. I know they're pre-made, but can I just have the option to say, do it one and a half times?

Speaker 2 You should be able to.

Speaker 4 Double bake. You should.
It's the only way because you might get a cold spot and that'll make you want to end yourself.

Speaker 2 A thousand percent. No, you don't want it.

Speaker 2 No, no. They're so quick.
I love that app.

Speaker 4 It's great. So good.
Well, at Chipotle, you might want to do a veggie burrito bowl or a salad with brown rice, guacamole, roasted chili corn salsa, or tomato salsa.

Speaker 2 Sounds delicious. It also sounds like it's missing the cheese and the sour cream.
The fun part. The fun part.

Speaker 4 Well at McDonald's for our kosher king they say a McChicken or fish filet with a side of apple slices or even an apple pie is a healthier option.

Speaker 2 Of course it's a healthier option. Who the fuck is getting apple slices at McDonald's? What are you nuts? No.
Get McDonald's and then go to the grocery store and pick up an apple.

Speaker 2 I don't want the sliced apple from McDonald's. They're good.
I don't want it.

Speaker 4 I'm sure it's good. They come in the happy meal.
My son eats them.

Speaker 2 I'm sure they're fantastic.

Speaker 2 He loves them. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And the fish fillet is a go-to kosher adjacent King meal.

Speaker 2 It's fantastic. Yeah.
Fantastic. Even though I don't even want to know what's in it.
What could possibly be in that fish patty?

Speaker 2 Not fish. Not good.
No good.

Speaker 4 Not good.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 4 Did you know that Australian patients start speaking in posh British accent after having jaw surgery in rare medical case?

Speaker 4 My mom and my sister came to visit me, and my sister said to my mom, oh, she sounds very posh. The

Speaker 4 57-year-old told the news. Yeah, she woke up and she was like, all right.

Speaker 4 Oh, I just had a good surgery, mate.

Speaker 2 It happens. It happens.
My dad got out of back surgery and was speaking like a little Chinese. Like

Speaker 2 he was. Yeah.
Maybe it just hurt and he was like, oh. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Sonny.

Speaker 2 Jesus Christ. No, he was speaking Chinese.

Speaker 4 I mean, what if like you get canceled for that? And you're like, like, you don't understand.

Speaker 2 No, he didn't mean to.

Speaker 4 I'm not being insensitive here. I just had surgery.

Speaker 2 I just had surgery. And for whatever reason, I came out speaking Chinese.
This is a thing that happens. People have accents.
They have whatever. It's crazy.
Yeah. It's crazy.

Speaker 2 I don't want any cameras around me the next time I go under.

Speaker 4 I didn't mean to say that in Road Rage. I had, I just got a flu shot.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I can't be held responsible. Blame it on the flu shot.
Yeah. Everything's blamed on the flu shot.
I got the flu shot. That's why I sound like this.
No, I'm kidding. I didn't.

Speaker 2 That's why I sound like this. Totally.
Or I did and I didn't. Who knows?

Speaker 4 Really, no one.

Speaker 2 This episode of of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Prolon. Do I love going out and hanging out with my friends? Of course I do.
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Speaker 4 Should we do a quick speak pike?

Speaker 2 Speak pike. Speak pike.

Speaker 2 Well, we had our daughters before this. It slowed us down.
We're done. We're done.
If you want to walk at Meta,

Speaker 2 what's up, Facebook? It's fucking, it's Meta.

Speaker 4 I'm doing a talk at Meta today.

Speaker 2 This is why I'm in New York.

Speaker 2 It's Meta, Josh.

Speaker 2 Hello, Snapchat.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 So if you want to leave us a speakpipe, if you want our advice, you have questions for us, keep it brief. Brevity is key and keep it an advice or question.
We don't want your feedback.

Speaker 4 We don't want your questions, your comments. Well, we do want your questions, but not comments.

Speaker 2 No, no, save that for Reddit.

Speaker 4 Speakpipe.com

Speaker 2 slash good guys.

Speaker 4 Okay, our first one is from

Speaker 4 somebody good.

Speaker 4 Somebody great.

Speaker 4 Our first one is somebody great.

Speaker 4 From Anonymous.

Speaker 8 Hey, PJOMs, need some advice. So my husband has like chronic, chronic anxieties, right? So when he doesn't take his medicine, he's literally crazy pants, over analyzes everything,

Speaker 8 stresses out about every little thing. And long story short, makes my life a literal literally fucking hell I'm such an empath so when he is mentally unwell I am mentally unwell question

Speaker 8 he has like been refusing to take his medicine lately and he's like saying you don't understand you don't understand how you know it makes me feel and the side of that

Speaker 8 and you know I can't work as hard I get too tired and da da da so he's making all these excuses as to why he can't take his medicine but I know when he gets on it and he stays on it he feels so much better he acts so much better we're all happier and more sane, but he just refuses.

Speaker 8 So like, am I like a fucking bitch for getting mad that he's not taking his medicine? Or do, you know, do I need to be more supportive and understanding?

Speaker 2 What do I do? I don't know. Please help.
This is loaded.

Speaker 4 I have some feelings.

Speaker 2 You wanna start? Sure, I'll go.

Speaker 4 You're not an empath. You're codependent and you're enmeshed.

Speaker 4 And if you take on the feelings of your partner in anything more than a lovely, healthy, sympathetic, you care for that person, you want them to be good, and it hurts you when they hurt.

Speaker 4 That's one thing. But you can tell from this phone call that making it all about you makes you a codependent.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And I would start working on yourself because if we are not the problem, then there can be no solution. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So I would 100% get better and definitely not being as disturbed by you are when your partner, who's their own sentient being, when your partner is having having their own experience and allow them to have the dignity of their own experience i also think medication is a funny thing and i could certainly see it making you drowsy and uncomfortable and having certain side effects and maybe if you came to him in a loving way and say i've seen the benefits of it for you maybe in ways in which you might not be able to see because you're in it so is there someone we can consult and maybe try a different medicine with less side effects or a different dosing or a different schedule of taking the medicine is there there a way in which I can help you?

Speaker 4 Because I really see the benefits and I think it's great for us.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I agree with you. I also think you picked him.
Like, unless this is brand new, then this is a different story.

Speaker 2 If you've been together for a very long time, and all of a sudden, he randomly out of like he was the strong, whatever, now he's just become this nervous Nelly who is very anxious, making you anxious.

Speaker 2 Otherwise, you knew exactly who this person was.

Speaker 2 And so, I think you do need to be empathetic to the fact that you are with somebody who has anxiety And it is definitely difficult when you have meds that maybe like they help you, but clearly they're not helping him.

Speaker 2 Well, they are, but

Speaker 2 not if he doesn't feel good. Like, like, sure, they're, they're helping him with one thing.
They're helping him with anxiety, but they're hurting him in

Speaker 2 like ways that allow him to function normally during the day. It would sound.

Speaker 4 Well, I think there's no silver bullet. Like you hear that a lot with like bipolar medicine, right?

Speaker 4 Is that usually the people like the mania part of it the high because it's exciting and you're energized but unfortunately it's always coupled with the depressive part sure so the medicine in theory kind of brings them levels levels them but they go it's great except i'm kind of missing the highs a little bit i never get the highs everything's a trade-off i think with medicine yeah kind of weighing that yeah so i don't know i don't know i feel badly for him and i also feel feel badly for her it's not not it's it's not a pleasant experience i've been around people like this.

Speaker 2 It's not a pleasant experience when you're trying to control your own inner peace. You have your own things going on and all of a sudden somebody next to you is making you anxious.

Speaker 2 Like that's a terrible feeling. But again, I have to go back to the fact that you're with this person for a long time.
I don't think that they randomly became anxious.

Speaker 2 If they did randomly become anxious, then you should probably find the root cause of the new anxiety.

Speaker 2 But if this person is just anxious because they're anxious, then you got to learn how to not let his anxieties make you anxious to your point of working on yourself.

Speaker 2 Like have some type of a block up where it's like, okay, I know that he's anxious about this, but I know that this can't affect me and the way that I live my life on a day-to-day basis. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's very hard to do, not letting the way that somebody else is projecting sit on you, you know? Yes. That's very hard.
But if you can conquer it, you can be around anyone.

Speaker 4 And you also don't have to, you don't have to sit in it, right?

Speaker 4 Like you can lovingly pull away and do some self-protection and say, while you're going through this spin cycle, listen, my wife, every six to eight weeks where I'm like, it's all over, Paige.

Speaker 4 You know, I haven't, you know, worked in two weeks or a month. I'm like, it's, it's over.
She's like, it hasn't been for the 13 years I've known you. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So it's going to, like, I don't blame her where she goes, I've seen this in you before. We know this story.
We've bought the t-shirt. We've seen the show.
Yeah. I'm going to tap out.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, I love you. And I will offer you a couple minutes of counseling and support and encouragement, but anything more than that's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 claudia is the same right yeah it's actually it's interesting you brought it up in that way i haven't i haven't thought about it like that it is healthy and actually an anxious person really needs to be checked like if you in a respectful way yeah like acknowledging that the feelings are real but if they dwell on it they're only hurting themselves like right separating like what isn't from what is yes unless this person like i i don't know we're good we are good no this was good

Speaker 2 no this was good they needed to hear that this was good they did and you needed to hear that and now i can taste your cough, which was fun. Oh, by the way, that was so deep.

Speaker 4 It's made its way over here.

Speaker 2 Now I told you. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 All right. Let's do one more and then we'll get to what are you nuts.
Next one from

Speaker 4 somebody good. You already know.
I don't know.

Speaker 8 Hi, Josh and Ben. Moron here.
So I'm going on a work trip and my in-laws are joining so that they can watch my baby during the day while I'm working. My husband's coming too.
He'll also be working.

Speaker 8 And my in-laws are very, very, very Mormon. They don't drink coffee.
They don't like coffee. They don't like coffee being in the vicinity.
They hate the smell of it.

Speaker 8 They just completely detest coffee and think it's of the devil. My question is, can I drink coffee while I'm in our shared Airbnb?

Speaker 8 My husband and I are paying two grand to rent out this Airbnb so that they can help us out. He says, screw it.
Let's drink the coffee. We are hosting them.
I say, I don't know.

Speaker 8 I want to be respectful. They're watching our baby.
They're doing us a favor. I'd rather be a little bit less invasive with it and make them as comfortable as possible.
So question for you.

Speaker 8 Would you or would you not drink the coffee?

Speaker 2 Wow, I didn't know that this was such a thing. Coffee in Mormonism.

Speaker 4 They don't do caffeine.

Speaker 2 But it's the devil?

Speaker 4 I think it's also something about hot drinks. Okay.
They're not, but yes, it's a big tenant. No caffeine, no stimulant like that.

Speaker 2 It sounds to me, based on the smell of coffee, that you're thinking about brewing your own. I think that's unnecessary.
I don't think that you need to bring a French press to this Airbnb.

Speaker 2 Like, I think that you need to- Hey, Mary and Clarence.

Speaker 2 Like, you don't need that. Like, you don't need the smell of fresh beans, but every morning I get Starbucks as an iced coffee, and nobody smells my coffee but me.

Speaker 2 So, if the trigger is the smell and seeing the beans, like, okay, get a Stanley cup, go to Starbucks, put in your iced coffee, bada bing, bada boom, no issues.

Speaker 2 No, I don't think that if somebody's uncomfortable with coffee, that you should be brewing it fresh. Kind of sounds like an episode of Maury.
You know, bring out the pickles.

Speaker 2 You know what I'm talking about? Like, she's whatever. She's afraid of pickles.
And he brings out the pickles. Like, it's just like, yeah, I don't know.
Cause they're doing you a favor.

Speaker 2 So if they're really uncomfortable with the smell of coffee, there's a win-win. You can have your coffee.
Just, you don't have to have it like that.

Speaker 4 That's the headline here. You're not hosting them.
They're helping you.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 4 The idea that they would pay to come help you take care of your kid like a thousand percent yeah oh yeah we're putting we're spending two grand yeah they're babysitters yeah they're babysitters they're free babysitters while you work and the best kind because you can trust them fully and not worry at all yeah and you can't give up coffee for a couple days and or figure out like a fun sleuthy way by the way go work at starbucks for an hour in the morning do your emails use the wi-fi and enjoy two piping hot cups of joe i think you can get a free refill you ever heard of Red Bull?

Speaker 4 Well, I love an energy drink, but you know, the Mormon mother might see that and think

Speaker 4 about

Speaker 4 it.

Speaker 2 But they're more worried about the smell, it would seem. Like something, like you can conceal it.

Speaker 4 Buy a koozie. Leave for an hour and go drink a nice coffee and sit in a coffee shop.

Speaker 2 Can you imagine needing to go outside to drink your coffee?

Speaker 2 But to each their own.

Speaker 4 It would, even if they were not there helping you, I think it would be respectful of in-laws. It's really not a big ask.
No, I agree. And they're your in-laws.

Speaker 2 A thousand percent.

Speaker 4 They're the OGs. Yeah.

Speaker 2 If they, if you like, if they bother you enough, don't ask them to babysit.

Speaker 4 They took long enough to put on that magic underwear of theirs.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You can't pass up a coffee for a day.

Speaker 4 Shout out Joseph Smith. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you have a Woody Nuts? Yeah, I do. This isn't my Woody Nuts, but I was at Tony's.
Have you been to Tony D'Anapoli?

Speaker 4 I have not. Wait, our Woody Nuts moment of the week are our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and small, whatever, sticking in your craw.

Speaker 2 Go for it. You've never been to Toning Tennapoli.
Toning Tennapolis like a car mine's love. Look in there, big portions, Italian.
Hell yeah. They sing to you.
It's nice. Nice.
Okay.

Speaker 2 My friend had a groomsman dinner. Invited everybody to be in groomsman.
We had a nice dinner, whatever. I go to the bathroom, three people in front of me in line.
It's a single stall.

Speaker 2 I just have to take a piss. Single stall.
I wait, one person, two person, three. I'm about to go in.
All of a sudden, this person runs up, runs up like they're going to throw up, right?

Speaker 2 Turns to me and says, excuse me, excuse me, do do you mind if I go in front of you? And I'm like about to say yes. Like, I really need to blow my nose.
What are you, nuts?

Speaker 2 I couldn't even, I couldn't even think what this person could even be talking about. You can't blow your nose.
You're having an emergency.

Speaker 2 You can't blow your nose into like a cloth napkin or a paper napkin. Who goes to the bathroom to blow their nose and runs up as if it's an emergency? Excuse me, excuse me.
Can I cut in front of you?

Speaker 2 I need to blow my nose. I couldn't believe it.
It was the ultimate what are you nuts? I still can't, I still can't wrap my head around what it, I can't wrap my head around it. Nuts.

Speaker 2 What could that have been? Nuts. Nuts.
nuts people are nuts crazy

Speaker 4 we're a couple weeks past the oscars but i love i sent it to you and i know you love them too ricky gervais's great quote about do not make a political speech nope at the oscars or really anywhere else i think in a world where i don't even think we want to hear about politics from our politicians yep we are so beaten over the head and we we're just in the problem is we're inundated by thought and voice and by people who either proclaim to be authorities on subjects and the all-knowing being,

Speaker 4 you know, my big brother from I've had for 30 years, he's brilliant, brilliant about finance and economy. So he's an expert witness sometimes in trials, whether it's an SEC violation or whatever.

Speaker 4 He'll come in and sort of explain the inner workings of things. Like it could be something as, you know, as crazy as a Sam Bankman Freed case or a Madoff thing.
Like he really understands the nuance.

Speaker 4 And so when he's working on a trial, I'll be like, so what is the other side going to do when you come in as the expert?

Speaker 4 He goes, they'll bring in their expert and they'll try to undermine me and I'll undermine him.

Speaker 4 And then you have to decide who's the expert.

Speaker 4 This is the world in which we're living.

Speaker 4 And thus, we are so inundated that I think perhaps we as public people, me as a D-list celebrity and you as A-list celebrities, would be better suited to use your platform for amazing charities like Feed the Streets.

Speaker 4 I'll be out there on Skid Row Tuesdays and Thursdays in the morning. Like use it for good.

Speaker 4 I think using your platform for good is fabulous, but when it's just you prophetizing and making a speech, I think you're missing the mark.

Speaker 2 What are you nuts? This episode is all over the place.

Speaker 4 So good. So good.
We're so good.

Speaker 2 If not five stars. What else, Josh? What else? What are you nuts? Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts.
Watch us on YouTube. Share our clips, Instagram, and TikTok.

Speaker 2 Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.
Next time. Wherever I look.
Right. Next time.

Speaker 9 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Speaker 9 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.