Live From New York... It's Thursday Morning!

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. What are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.

They're not the great guys.

We're just the good of the good guys.

Thank you to Samsung Galaxy for sponsoring this episode.

Here we are.

Oh my God, in person.

New York.

There really is no replicating the magic of me being able to reach across and not touch you because I'm sick.

You're on antibiotics. You're on antibiotics.
But you did give me a little bit of the hand sanitizer i would have been okay with it you know what i'm gonna do a little more give me a little bit more so that i can prophylact and just so that i can touch your hand just a little this is you know what this is jewish holy water it is ash wednesday thank god give me a give me just a little more a little more and then a little touch just a little skin yeah hot Ah, hot. Okay.
And then I was like, what the fuck is burning? I cut my finger and now all of the spritz is in the. That's good.
You're cleaning it out. Oh my God.
Oh my God. Yes.
That is like holy water, you know? It is. That is the Jew.
In person. Thank God.
Thank God. You flew in red eye.
I am so proud of the way I set this trip up. Walk us through it.
I would love to. Thank you.
Flew here, United, red eye. Thank God.
Shout out United. Wow.
We're talking Pilaris. We're talking first class.
We're talking lay flat bed. 100%.
Wow. It's, you know what? This is a new era for me.
And by that, I mean, I had a voucher I had to use by the end of March. But shout out Maggie and Jasmine at United.
Hopefully one day the official sponsor of the Good Guys podcast. I mean, I don't know what they're waiting for.
The official airline? Let's go. Yes.
We don't even need to be paid. We like a barter.
This is the perfect barter. Perfect barter.
And put our face not on a 787, but a regional jet, a CRJ 1295. No problem.
The jet that goes down? Yes.

Inevitably, our faces in the Potomac.

You just see my head in flames.

Those Americans.

They can't wait to sponsor us now.

Oh, my God.

Shout out to those poor souls.

We apologize.

It's horrible.

So, this is how I get it planned out.

I'm here doing a talk for Meta. Heard of it? Wow.
Really? Is Zuck going to be there? Can you imagine? BTZ. Big time Zuck.
In his blue Benson Boone suit. Did you see that? Of course.
With his nice chain. With his nice perm.
He's fucking ill. He wore, he did attribute a testimony to Benson Boone's incredible performance.
Is that his name, Benson Boone? I think so. I feel like a dad.
Yeah, no, he's Benson Boone. Benson Boone.
Benson Boone. Okay.
Tough name. That can't be his real name.
Name for a star. But at the same time, he picked it.
Benson Boone. I don't like it.
No? I like Benson. I don't think Boone.
Right. Boone? It'd be cool if his name was Mercedes Benson.
Yes. Yes.
Or like Boone. Boone is a first name, right? Boone.
I think we need to throw away Boone. Just Benson.
Benson. One name.
He's Benson. Like Olivia Benson.
Olivia Benson. Who is that? SVU.
Mariska Hargitay. Yes.
Olivia Benson. Maybe we go find the set where they're shooting today in New York City.
I'm in. Quick crime scene.
I'm in. Just as a fun aside, I did a movie with the great Peter Herman, who is Mariska Hargitay's husband.
Yes. And I'll never forget he once said to me, he's like, you know, we love our family and it's great and you know and and i do well i mean i don't do well like my wife i was like peter we know sounds like me he's an amazing guy and just the hargitay the hargitay hermans come on the show we'd love to have you a A gorgeous family.
I would love Mariska. I would love her.
Yeah, her. I can only think about her in The Love Guru.
SVU is gone for me. Mariska Hargitay.
When was the last time you saw that movie? Never. Oh! I've seen it.
So good. It's really not, though.
No. It's like one of those Mike Myers movies that really deserves like a six on Rotten Tomatoes.
But if you're in the right headspace and you see it for the first time, you're just like, oh, this is it.

Jacques LeCoc Grand played by Justin Timberlake.

So good.

So bad.

So good.

So many interests you have.

I know.

The things you know.

I know.

And the things I don't.

Well, okay.

So.

Yes, you're flying.

I plan this out. So I go, okay, I'm going to fly at night.
You fly at night because at night, this is a wash. This means nothing.
Right. So you utilize the time you'd be laying in bed.
Yeah. I could fly in at four Tuesday afternoon.
I landed at midnight. What am I doing? I'm sleeping more.
Yep. You know? So I get on the flight and then this is what I do.
I book a hotel airport. Look at me.
Look at me, listeners. You book a hotel airport for the night before and the night after.
Right? Yep. Check-ins at three.
No. You landed at 6 a.m.
You're here on a work trip. You don't need frills.
You need a bed. You need no traffic.
You need quick. A commuter hotel.
A commuter hotel. That's it.
So I land. Bring your own padlock.
That's it. I bring the little door alarm thing.
You know, if it moves, startle, take out my night guard. Fucking Taekwondo.
So I get there 6 a.m. now.

There's a Newark Marriott Hotel.

Yes.

It's nice.

Close.

Nice.

$3.70 a night.

Nuts.

Nuts.

Too much.

$3.70 a night for an airport hotel?

It was hot.

That's psychotic.

There must be a convention.

$3.70 a night for an airport hotel?

Convention.

Nuts.

It's a convention center?

All Marriot's have a convention component

and or ballroom.

Interesting.

I can't imagine there's a ballroom at the airport.

Where are you getting married?

The airport hotel.

I wanted to make it easy for people flying in.

And I hate my daughter.

After parties at Hudson News.

That's good.

And so I go, but here's the thing.

I know the hierarchy of the Marriott chain,

and this is not sponsored in any way,

and it should be.

It should be.

It's a shonda that it's not.

Beyond.

Now, as we all know,

the Marriott Courtyard is the ultimate Marriott sort of commuter hotel. Yes.
Great. No frills, perfect, modern, beautiful.
But then they have a class adjacent to the courtyard. They're called the Fairfield Inn Suites and the Spring Hill Suites.
Yeah. Where as no frills as possible, except they have breakfast.
Yes. Gorgeous continental breakfast.
Yes. They have coffee in the lobby.
Yes. And a kitchenette.
Fantastic. This I know.
I look up the Spring Hill, which is a half a mile away from the airport. One ten a night.
Are you kidding me? Of course you have to do that. One ten a night? And you did that? Yeah.
Yeah. By the way, I would love to know.
They probably don't have a presidential suite. But I'd love to know what the most expensive room even is.
One 10. I'm in it.
The wheelchair suite. I said, I'll take the ADA room.
They said, sir, you're completely abled. I said, so you think.
I can't do these ADA rooms. I just don't like them.
The people's low. I just don't want them.
I don't want to walk into the bathroom and have like this metal bar. When they hit the doorbell, the lights flicker.
It's fucked up. It's good.
In the first 15 minutes, we've got after the people who's tragically died in the Potomac. And the handicapped.
And the handicapped. Good.
That's it. This podcast is over.
It's fine. It's good.
All right. So 110 a night, breakfast, coffee.

You're in.

You're locked and loaded.

You get to the hotel.

How many hours of sleep did you get?

So I slept four hours on the plane.

Okay.

And we'll talk about that because that was its own, what are you nuts?

And then I go straight from the plane.

It's around 540.

Okay.

I go right to my room.

It's on the app, my key.

Oh, what a luxury. You talk to no one talked straight in i go straight in i go right into my room five minutes wash up a little bit i'm in bed by six slept till 10 i got eight hours nice very good and you got two rem cycles it's all about the rem josh this is what i've learned've been waking up recently, six o'clock in the morning, which I know for you is very late.
Josh will text me at 430 in the morning. He's like, you up? I'm like, no.
Well, actually, yes, but why are you? Six o'clock. And I realized if I'm up at six, sleeping for another hour and a half only hurts me.
That's right. Only hurts me.
If you can't get, I think it's like, what is it? Two to three hours. If you can't get it, don't do it.
This idea of a cat nap, at least for me, 30 minutes, I'm destroyed. That like meme of like you woke up and you have no idea where you are or what year it is.
That's when you have a nap outside of REM. Yes.
I made that up, but I think so. Well, Kazzy David, Larry David's daughter, who is spectacular.
Spectacular. She would fit right in here.
Oh yeah. Kazzy, please, anytime.
We'd love to have you. Claudia and her had a brief friendship, I remember.
Brief. At least a decade ago.
At least a decade ago. Went to her house, saw a picture of Larry on the wall.
I think it came and ended. But Cassie, if there's no ill will, come on.
If there is ill will, keep it to yourself. I don't want to know.
I don't want to know what you did. The good guys, we're not interested in your good will.
No. The good guys, we're not interested in your ill will.
No, I don't want it. If there's good will, great.
If there's ill will, keep it to yourself. There's not the ill will games.
No. There's goodwill games.
Goodwill. Yeah.
Should we go to a Goodwill after this? Pick up a couple of coats? See what they got? Yeah. Although the smell of thrift stores gives me post-traumatic stress from growing up impoverished.
I understand. I understand.
Like when hipsters are like, we're going thrifting. I'm like, spare me.
No, it's weird. It's definitely weird to thrift when you don't have to it's actually fucked up it's fucked up I'm gonna say it there's a difference between high end thrifting that is really like collecting right like you go to like these thrift stores and you're looking for like a 1940s Chanel sure thrifting I think that or that's vintage vintage is different than thrifting right sure they're I'm just thinking like Goodwill.
You really want to save the Goodwill stuff for the people who need Goodwill. Well, I think it's elliptical, right? You give your stuff.
The Goodwill then uses that money to employ people who need jobs. And hopefully the money.
Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah.
It's sort of like one system. In my humble opinion, just in the recovery game, I think a wonderful sort of organization is the Salvation Army.
Yes. Because they have rehabs and they actually give people beds who are in need, who are addicted, what have you.
Interesting. And part of their penance or part of their structured living to hopefully get out there and get a job and start their life again is they then go work for the Sally.
That's what we call it.

And they'll drive the trucks and pick up the furniture that you're going to give away.

They'll run the store.

So it's kind of great.

I really only know the Salvation Army during Christmas.

And I just like the they're ringing the bells and I'm just like, get the fuck away from me.

Sorry.

Who are the Latin guys in the all white?

Yeah, I don't know.

What is that?

That's a religious sect. I think so.
I think so. I don't know, though.
I don't know. Speaking of religious, happy Ash Wednesday.
I don't know what it is. Do you? It is introducing Lent.
It precedes Easter and that's all I got. OK.
Yeah. I don't know.
I was getting a cup of coffee before this and the guy next to me had the the ash on his forehead and the cashier goes to him. She's like, oh, you're a good Christian boy.
So you were in mass today. He said nothing to her.
He couldn't have said anything. He said nothing.
Because as my wife would say, she delineates Christianity and Catholicism. She is a Catholic.
And she says Christian, while all-encompassing, sort of infers a different sect. And by that, I mean one less serious.
So maybe she judged his sect. He judged, probably.
He was like, I'm not a Christian, I'm a Catholic. Or sorry, she incorrectly sected him.
Misreligioned. Yes, title.
That's fucked up. Yeah.
Nobody misreligions me. No.
No one looks at you and goes, are you Mormon? Speaking of Mormon, what a segue, Josh. I watched the most disturbing documentary I've ever seen last night about Mormons.
Sorry. It's not about the Mormons, though.
Like, it's not their fault. It just happened to be Mormon.
It's like Jeffrey Epstein. It's not the Jews, but he happened to be Jewish.
This woman, oh my God, it's called The Devil and the Family, the story of Ruby Frank. Have you heard of Ruby Frank, Josh? I have.
I have. Spoiler alert.
If you plan on watching this, maybe skip this part. I don't really think I'm giving anything away.
This is a very Google-able story. Google-able.
It's a terrible story. This woman has six kids and they have a count on YouTube.
They were early on YouTube called Eight Passengers They were like one of the first YouTube families. She was filming everything that their kids were, that her kids were doing.
And like the beginning of the doc, it's just awkward. She's like asking like her kids to smile, like, like be more talkative when the camera's in front of you.
Like she really treats them like employees and like you get to feel like a little bit uncomfortable, but it's nothing crazy. Right.
And then as the as it goes on, she meets this woman who is just she's a therapist, but she's an unlicensed therapist. And she tries to take control of their house.
She like tells the husband that if he watches pornography, he's going to hell and like found out that he watched porn and like put him in this like group chat with other terrible men who watch porn and have lust. And the whole thing is- It's called the bad guys, our chat, sorry.
By the way, porn is great. Mom, don't listen.
Yeah. And so push comes to shove, whatever.
She ends up, this woman ends up possessed. This therapist, her name is Mrs.
Hildebrandt. And she comes to Ruby and she's like, I need your help.
I'm possessed by the devil. And she moves her into her home.
And all of a sudden, the reason that she's possessed is because the two little kids in her house are the devil. And in order to get the devil out of these children, they starve them, chain them.
This awful, awful, like malnourished for like nine months. Nuts.
The only reason they got out is the youngest kid walked up to his neighbor, knocked on the door and was like, hi, can you call the police? He like weighed like nothing. He was like skin and bones.
But if he never escaped and never went to the police, like Ruby Frank's diary literally wrote, I will get the devil out of them, even if it means they die. Like she thought that she was doing God a service by removing the devil.

And they're in jail for 30 years each.

Her and the therapist.

Her and the therapist.

The husband isn't in jail.

Well, he should be too.

A thousand percent.

He's in the documentary talking about how he didn't realize what was going on.

She did kick him out for a year and this all happened during the year, but he didn't check in on his kids for an entire year. He didn't get one, one year in prison.
But should, that begs the question, right? Crazy. It begs the question for YouTube and social media families, right? Which is like, clearly it's your family.
They're your kids. Like there shouldn't necessarily be any intervention with how and which you want to raise your children but if you are putting them on the internet and making what i imagine is a good amount of money from it at one point they were making i think she said over a hundred thousand dollars a month they weren't spending that on instacart no you know what i mean no but does that that does beg the question though well shouldn't that enter in child labor laws for sure right thousand percent and she would literally say smile for me i'll give you ten dollars per video ten dollars what are you nuts like it's sick sounds like my mom in an audition when i was eight dance joshay i resent you mom okay but she wasn't starving you far from it that was the opposite she was a feeder oh my god my mom's relationship with food was so fucked up literally at the beginning of the day she'd be like we are Kato so are you so have a diet coke and some bacon and go to school and by the time I got got home she's on a new diet yeah i specifically remember at 13 i was having slim fast like the name of your book yeah just like my mom would have had a slim fast and like i i had one like i've spoken about my dad and optifast these these crash diets they're nuts and obesity is a thousand percent genetic and food addiction is genetic.
It has to be or unless it's learned. Do you and Claude think about like Paige and I think about that with our kiddos? Are you and Claude thinking? We haven't gotten there yet, but definitely figuring out like what is the right balance.
I do think that just with the way that the world is going, like our children will eat less sugar because there's just less sugar in or we're trying. We're like more aware of sugar.
I don't think that we were my parents were as aware of sugar when I was growing up. And I do think that sugar is the culprit.
Like when whenever I think of why I'm so fat, it's sugar. I love candy.
So like I think on that end of the spectrum, like hopefully having less sugar in your bread or having less sugar in just everyday life will help. But I don't know.
I really they're going to be they're going to be fat. Like I just know he's going to be fat.
And like I'm like, I'm down. I just like he doesn't have to be.
I don't know. It's going to be hard.
I hope he's at least going to be fat for a minute. I don't know how he's not.
But you love are athletic you like working out not working out but you like playing basketball you like you like but i was then actually that's interesting and i was skinny until 11. me too what changed i was skinny till 11.
our ability in which i know mine was you i got to go to school by myself and then i was like i'm gonna become best friends with the guy at the bodega yeah maybe it was that maybe it was independence maybe it was I don't know my sister was chubby until 14 and then she just shed it yeah she's been skinny forever shout out Maddie lucky good for her yeah we get here from Ruby Frank she underfed we, we overfeed. True.
Yes, that was what it was. It's interesting.
Like my son at school, the great state of California, shout out. All kids in public school get free lunch and free breakfast.
That's nice. So on Tuesday and Thursdays, they have pizza and they get it out.
It gets brought in from Domino's. Wow.
Yeah. Delish.
High end. Delish.
Not like the little French roll pizzas like we had. No.
And they have a lovely salad bar for the kids, like, you know, fruits and some veggies, cucumbers, carrots, and each kid only gets one slice. And, but Tuesday and Thursday, usually we pack his lunch three days a week.
And we know Tuesday and Thursday, he loves getting the pizza. And so we don't make it a thing.
We just go, yeah, Have your one slice of pizza Tuesday and Thursday he loves getting the pizza and so we don't make it a thing we just go yeah have yours one slice of pizza Tuesday and Thursday and and Friday night it'll be or Tuesday Thursday night it'll be chicken and rice or something rather healthy but we don't want to limit it it might be that it might be the pizza is bad right because that I definitely remember like I remember I don't know if it was taught or if i taught it to myself or whatever it was like this is bad and when i'm going to eat it i know i'm being bad so i'm gonna fucking eat it you know right as opposed to no pizza is not bad no pasta is not bad nothing is bad the amount that you're consuming of it is bad but not the actual thing itself. Yeah.'re so deep we really are speaking of food i have brought from a little eatery you're kidding me not well known it's called russ and daughters you're kidding me familiar with this they happen to have a location on 34th street straight out of the lincoln tunnel me too and i you didn't know no No, is that new? Oh my god.

I got two and I thought we could do halves and halves.

Okay, here's the first one.

You're a dream. For those

that are listening to audio, you should also

watch on YouTube. This is a tuna salad

sandwich. Oh wow, we're going to have to rate this.

Okay, so I went a tuna

and then I added, they didn't have

lettuce, but I added the onions. capers okay we're gonna give this a taste cheers cheers to you let's give it a taste let's give it a taste okay oh yeah this is what people love on podcast people eating that's very good tuna very that's yellow fin tuna oh could be blue fin be Toro.
Has anybody ever made tuna salad from Toro? Tuna salad from Toro? Can you imagine? Jesus Christ. This is the best.
I'm so sorry. You can turn off.
We are such fat, fat, fat in here. By the way, tune out for the next five minutes.
I'm not having a bite. I'm having the whole thing.
Yeah, you can take a nice five-minute break, come back in. But I'm telling you, shout out Russ and Daughters in New York City.
This is delicious. The bagel isn't even toasted.
That's how you know that what's inside is what matters. It really should be.
And then this, of course, the classic Nova scallion cream cheese. A little caper I see.
Oh, you can see the Nova It is buttery Cheers to you my friend God bless you And these bagels aren't that big They're well sized Designer So sorry guys This is really horrible God. Delicious.
We should do this every episode, right? Did you see this bite? This is fantastic. I love a caper.
So underrated, so delicious. We need to put capers in more things.
What is a caper? Just a salt bomb. Or what actually is a caper? I don't want to know.
I have no idea, and I don't want to know. Aer, you know I like caper because it also means a heist.
Oh, good. Let's go have a caper.
Yeah. Oh, this is so good.
We're on a bit of a caper. Benjamin, I just want to share with you because I like sharing things that mean something to me.
Yes. You mean something to me.
Thank God. We go out.
What am I? This is Ben. This is is you know i'm arm candy my arm candy yes yes but you know that my galaxy s25 ultra means a lot to me too yes that you've told me it's replacing me it's not it's replacing you adjacent listen it's the ultimate ai companion we know this yes but are you familiar with night video are Are you seeing what's happening here? I am, but the people need to know.
You need to tell more. You ever tried to shoot video on your phone? It's past magic hour.
It's now dark out. It's like, this sucks.
Of course. It's just not good.
No. But, you know, finally now with night video, low light situations, noisy backgrounds, things, they finally, Samsung has figured out how to optimize the settings so that when you're filming at night, you're getting those wow worthy videos that we want.
and Josh, just in case there is an unwanted sound. You've made the perfect video.

We've all been there before, right?

We go out to a beautiful dinner.

We're outside.

We're just trying to film a beautiful, uh, yeah. Wind, wind, wind is in the way.
Wind is in the way. Wind is in the way.
We don't want it. Not good.
Audio eraser. Boom.
Takes the unwanted sounds out of the gorgeous video that you just took at night. Yeah.
Nobody wants that. Nobody wants this.
We took a beautiful video. We don't want to put Josh, we don't want to put music over our video because the audio sounds like crap.
We want the audio to sound the way the audio was meant to sound. Listen, and that's what Samsung can do.
And have you used night video? Cause I'm out here on them streets at the club and I'm shooting with it. It's literally a way in which for me to capture things in low light situations and still make it look beautiful.
Yeah. And things at night are beautiful, Josh.
If you can see them. You got to be able to see them.
If you can flip and see them. You got to be able to see them.
And it's the audio eraser, it's AI powered, right? Yes. It's all AI powered.
You know where we're at at night. The club.
Oh, yeah. We're partying.
Yeah. So we need that night video, right? So it looks cool.
You know, it's a dark club. We want it to look.
We're fist pumping. We're popping bottles.
Then you got the audio eraser because you got all this background noise. You got to isolate, man.
You got to get that quality. Exactly.
I agree. None of those unwanted noises and none of those unwanted people at the

club. 100%.
Well, the truth of the matter is the Galaxy S25 Ultra is available at Samsung.com. And you should get it.
Audio Eraser is compatible with common video formats accessible in gallery, helps minimize six select sounds. Results vary.
Galaxy AI features by Samsung free through 2025 and requires Samsung account login.

Look, folks, one more minute.

Let me chew. Let me live.
I can't eat. This was such a great idea.
Thank you. Baruch Hashem.
Listen. Okay.
And for only $65, you too can get two bagels from Russ and Daughters. No, it was actually like 15 bucks.
It's not crazy. That's pretty good.
Yeah, listen, Russ and Daughters, man. Oh my God.
It deserves the praise. Russ and Daughters is so good.
God. Their fish, their knife skills.
That's the key. That's the key.
Good knife. Yes.
Thin slice against the grain. Not too thick.
This is the most delicious. Unbelievable.
Russ and Daughters, shout out, Josh. Thank you.
Of course. Should we get into a story? Yeah.
What do we got? Anything good? Anything hot? Let's see. What's going on in the world? Steamy.
Okay. Let's see.
Bisexuality is a near universal experience in primates, humans included. I've been telling you.
This is from the New York Post. But which way does your sexuality swing? The bisexual cohort, those who are sexually attracted to both men and women, is growing.
A 2024 Gallup poll showed that 4.4% of American adults say they are bisexual, including 57.3% of those who already identify as LGBTQ+. Got it.
So, interesting. So, half of the and a half percent was already LGBTQ, but now they're also identifying as bi.
Sure. Interesting.
Okay. But 57 percent.
So more people than who say they are just purely straight. Yeah.
Just well, just gay. More people are saying that they're bi than just gay.
I read it as showed that 4.4% of American adults say they are bisexual, including 57.3% of those. Oh, OK.
So more than half of them are gay and bi or lesbian and bi. Perfect.
I think is what it's saying. Gotcha.
Which I find surprising. I often find that at least the arc for my friends who have come out has been, you know, I'm bi.
Actually, I'm gay. Right.
Like, it's like more of like, I don't know if I'm ready to just say that I'm gay because I've dated girls or whatever. But now, after looking back on it, I realize I'm just gay.
Yes. Is at least the arc that I've seen.
Very interesting, Josh. Very interesting.
I I'm not. I'm not.
I'm just totally open to it, except it doesn't do much for me. It's kind of like smoking cigarettes, Josh.
On a recent episode, I mentioned that I wish I was addicted to cigarettes. So once a month you hook up with a man? No, I wish.
Different strokes for different folks. It's just not for me.

I know. But I would be down if it was.
I fall in love with men emotionally. Me too.

Right? Me too. Of course.
Of course. Give a nice kiss on the cheek.
Yes. I love to get half a lip.

You know, you kind of go in and you're like, oh, I'm too sick to have given you it all. But normally I see you want to give you a nice kiss on the kiss on the head kiss on the cheek a big i love that for my closest friends a nice big hug big smooch yeah you know because i'm a fucking man i just don't and like that's also the thing for me like when whenever it becomes politicized or controversial in any way i'm like are you freaking nuts what is like just

in general we're like recently they were there was something about i don't know whether it was

in the government or whatever but removing the plus from the lgbtq it's like let's just assume

there's a lot we don't know i'm pretty sure 30 40 years ago we couldn't have known what we know

today when it comes to the spectrum of sexuality and being attracted to whomever just like just let

people love it's certainly not what we need to focus on totally like just if it's not for you

It's not for you. But you don't have to worry about it.
Yeah. I don't worry about.
Here's the real problem, Josh. The real problem with everyone is that everybody worries a little bit too much about things that do not matter to them.
What do you not have any impact on their life? And if you just spent a little less time worrying about things that do not affect you, you would be significantly less stressed. Like people I think are walking around with incredible anxiety because they're holding so much that has nothing to do with them.
That's right. Ever.
You know, like, why are you worried about LGBTQ plus? You're not LGBTQ plus. So don't worry about it.
Well, we worry for our brothers and sisters and our allies. Sure, if they need help.
And people. No problem.
But not every day. Not every day am I holding this burden.
Like, I'm here to help. You need me? I'm there.
Always. Always.
Always. What about, what are you currently worried about that you have no business being worried about? I'm not anymore.
Like, I really do not worry about things. If i even get an inkling that i'm starting to worry about something even that's far away i'm like shut that out ben you worrying about something that's not happening for four months it's going to cripple today and it's not going to change your decision making in four months you're not going to make a decision in four months based off of what you think you're going to do today.
Right. You're just going to ruin your day.
Don't suffer imagined troubles. I love that.
I love that. You've got a Seneca.
And don't let tomorrow's troubles ruin today's peace. Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a present, which is why they call it present.
God, that deserves a bite of tuna. Wow.
That deserves a bite of tuna. You got a foot in yesterday and a foot in tomorrow, and you're pishing all over today.
Ooh. Yes.
That's good. I know.
Josh. Moe Robbins.
Josh. We could do what she's.
Mel Robbins. Who is it? Moe Robbins.
Definitely not Moe. Mel.
Mel. She's crushing.
She's fabulous. It's the red onion the red onion the red onion thinly sliced this is not thinly sliced this is mandolin for all the fucking people out there that can't get your onions thin enough you can't use a knife to get this mandolin you know when you go to a deli you're ordering your big beautiful sandwich from your New York corner deli you're going to your meats meats you go in your cheeses and you think to yourself you know they have this beautiful shredded lettuce that i cannot replicate anywhere else mandolin mandolin you can't slice it like god the slogan for mandolin should be who needs fingertips not me i've lost two fingertips this Ski her from a mandolin.
Slice right off. Awful.
Well, did you know that more than half of Americans say they're turned on when their partner does chores? Interesting. Why an untidy home could be a deal breaker? That makes sense.
More than half of Americans are turned on by their partners doing chores, according to a new survey studying the link between home cleanliness and romance, with a vast majority admitting an untidy home could be a deal breaker.

The most alluring chore of it all, according to experts at house cleaning company Home Aglow, doing the dishes, an everyday act that could wind up sparking a night of passion.

Love it.

It's good to be at home.

Hey, Paige!

You ready? Hey, Paige! up sparking a night of passion love it just good to be at home hey page you ready literally this morning this is claudia by the way in a nutshell thousand percent she loves like if i when i take out the garbage when i do the dishes when i do whatever it may be loves that, people said that this was called nesting. She's been doing this forever.
Right. Literally this morning.
She's like, hey, by the way, do you mind? I want to replace our carpet in the bedroom. Do you mind just removing it from under the bed before you start work today? I'm like, no.
It's an impossible task. You need men for that.
I have a meeting in 10 minutes. I have to remove the rug now.
Like right now. So that happens.
Or like, hey, can you while I'm gone, do you mind like rearranging the furniture or do you mind like hanging this painting? Like, no, I can't. I will.
I promise tonight. But I can't right now.
I can't. It's like, hey, I'm running late.
I got to go. Can you do this impossible task? No.
But if I did it, she would have loved it. They love it.
By the way, they're all women, right? The New York Post was very much 50% of Americans love when study, when their significant other does the, it's like, no, 100% of women love when their male counterpart actually do something, actually do something in the home. Women are carrying the burden.
A thousand percent. A hundred percent.
All day long. We have a, you don't have this problem.
We have a crawl space in our garage. It's not really a crawl.
It's kind of like a, we have a very tall garage. It's almost two stories tall.
I always wanted to get one of those car elements. You should.
Sick. Sick.
Sick. Love that.
So we have like an attic space, you know, about 10 feet above and it's a big platform. We can keep boxes so whenever we go travel or whatever my wife goes please put the luggage up there or please put the kids old car seats up there yeah now i gotta first of all we don't have a ladder ready to go we have one of the expandable ladders so i gotta expand this ladder yeah yeah now just know in six to 10 years, I will be paralyzed.
God forbid.

God forbid.

Chas v's. yeah yeah yeah now just know in six to ten years i will be paralyzed god forbid because god forbid has vashalam it's too scary it's too scary i get up there first you don't even want to know this jew getting up there so first of all i'm opening you know and i put it next to the space then i put on shoes because go, if something happens and I got to jump, I don't want to break an ankle falling in bare feet.
Sure. It's a crawl space, right? So I get up there and before I put my body on the ledge, I'm like this.
I'm trying to scare away rats. Or vermin.
Assorted vermin. Oh, man.
So I'm like, hey! Hey! Sounds terrible. Oh, trust.
But when you do it, and if you were to do it, Paige loves you. She loves it.
What you could also do is... Actually, no, I don't know.
I was going to say you could hide it in the garage or something, but she'll see. No, you she wants me to do it okay should we get to a speak pipe yes if you want to ask us questions if you want advice go to speakpipe.com slash good guys keep it brief brevity is key we don't want your what are your nuts is no they're awful we don't want your inquiries about our goings-ons if you need advice or have a question you don't know and.
And listen, we're blessed. We get 30, 40, 50 a week.
Million. I'm sorting through this, this track.
Yeah. Too much.
Too much. Short question advice.
No inquiries. No, this is not a comment box.
No. And if you are going to tell us a story though, I know we say brevity is key.
Give us a little bit of context. Sometimes I need a little context.
That's all. Quick.
How old you are? Where you're from? What's going on? I think like a quick 23, Ruby, San Jose. Right.
Scorpio. Yeah.
Well, this first one is from- Incarcerated. Yeah.
You guys are my favorite nebushes in the podcast world. You guys guys really make me laugh i was really laughing at the horn hub stats that pennsylvania anyways okay so i'm calling in because my fiance owns a trucking company right they ship stuff from grocery stores so often from groceries that don't make it to the shipper.
So Zach likes to accept whatever doesn't make it.

So the first time it was pickles so he welcomed about 20 pounds of pickles into our apartment in chicago and they ended up leaking all over and who had to clean it me yep because i'm the woman uh yikes a trad wife if you will but not even yet because we're engaged so that was a whole big fight and next he accepts 20 jugs of ice tea that did not make it to the shipper because he loves iced tea now our whole entire fridge is iced tea i don't even like iced tea what's your advice okay first of all dream man comes home with pickles and iced tea what are you complaining about nuts okay the truth is this man josh simply needs a storage unit that's right that's it that's it nothing you're talking about here is i don't think pickles are perishable if anything they get better over time they're pickled they're fine they're good they're built last. They can sit in the jar.
No problem. The iced tea, certainly.
All right. Maybe there's an expiration date, but it's tea.
One year. Yeah.
Put it in the storage unit. And then he goes and pulls appropriately a pound of pickles at a time.
Now that I'm thinking about it, 20 pounds of pickles. That's entirely too many pickles for an apartment.
Or you move to a house. Okay.
Or you move to a house. but 20 pounds of pickles.
That's entirely too many pickles for an apartment. Or you move to a house, okay? Or you move to a house, but 20 pounds of pickles is a lot of pickles.
I feel like I could, when the pickles get brought at Second Avenue Deli, at Factors, at Cantors, you know, I got to be downing 10 ounces of pickles. I think so too.
10 ounces to a pound. They're delicious.
They're so good. No problem.
Actually. Zero calories.
Yeah. No, 20 pounds of pickles is nuts.
That's a whole fridge of pickles. Yeah, no, it's.
You need a pickle fridge. Some people have a meat fridge.
A pickle fridge. Yeah.
But again, they're not perishable, so it doesn't need to be refrigerated until opened. True.
Okay. But they leaked, which is weird.
That's,, no good. Well, you didn't inspect them when you brought them into your home.
You took leaky pickles. Crazy.
No good. Get a storage unit.
Leave your poor wife alone. Yes.
The great Len, my friend, my bed on the West Coast says that he works in trucking logistics 20 years, the master, master operator. Now he too, sometimes will run into a problem where the driver of the big rig a little tough on turns and the pallets the freight shifted as you know yeah you're a huge i don't want to i don't want to talk about it though because the last time i mentioned that trucking logistics is a nightmare i got two million messages hey we can help with your trucking and logistics i don't need.
Because you're not. Everybody's trucking and logistics is a problem.
I don't care how good you are. You're going to fuck up.
Right. Like they fuck up.
Supply chain is a thankless business. It's either done perfectly.
And you don't know about it. And you don't know about it.
Or it's awful. Right.
Or it's awful. Continue.
And you have you ever had spritz rejected? Of course. They're delivered at the wrong times.
You have to reschedule time. Did it shift in transit or like I haven't had cans damaged? I haven't had like I've had some damaged cans for sure.
The worst, though, is the way that it works is the receiver needs a BOL. The product delivered needs to exactly match the bill of lading.
And if it's off by even a case and you're delivering thousands of cases at a time, it's rejected because they want nothing to do with if the order was accidentally submitted incorrectly. We've had situations where the BOL was supposed to be 5,000 cases of pickle, 5,000 cases of lemon iced tea, 5,000 cases of pink lemonade, and 15,000 cases of one skew all went to the same place.
And it's just rejected. And you're talking about going from like a Vermont to California.
So it took you over a week to get there anyway. It's a nightmare.
That's a $10,000 trip. Yes.
Yes. And then you got to say, well, you got to handle that because it's your fuck up.
And then they say, well, we're not. And you say, okay.
That's my negotiating skills. Okay.
Send it back. Fine.
I'll take out my checkbook. Yeah.
It's interesting. Like, so Len, basically every like six months to a year will go some rejected, you know, drinks, food, whatever is now at our truck yard.
Yes. Because the people who made the sports drink or whatever, like we don't want it back if it was rejected because it shifted in transit or whatever.
So then he goes, would you like 800 bottles of Mamba Forever body armor? Wow. And I go, thank you.
But no, thank you. Where the hell is that going to go? I know.
You need a storage unit. His closet or his garage is just, it's a beverage paradise.
What a collab that was though. The Mamba Forever body armor.
The golden yellow. Sick.
Shout out, Coke. Quickly, speaking of golden yellow, you see how fit Luca is? God, you got to steal.
He's's looking better. He looks amazing.
Yeah, Luka Donchick. And Kyrie Irving

injured out for the year. The Mavs

are screwed. And did you see on Kyrie

Irving's live, Kyrie Irving

who plays for the team, the Dallas Mavericks, who

traded Luka to Los Angeles.

Luka, unless I misread this,

was on the live saying

get away from that organization.

Wow. That's wild.
He feels done dirty. He was done dirty.
I'm not going to get on the wrong side of a Serbian. I've seen Jean-Claude Van Damme movies.
Oh, yeah. What? Or is he Slovenian? Something.
Have you seen Nikola Jokic's brothers talking about Slovenian? Oh, my God. You don't want to fuck with them.
No, why not? No. No, no, no.
They will fuck you up. Not you up not you yeah but someone they're not fucking me up not me either no i didn't do anything so they're not gonna fuck me up but they're gonna fuck up somebody well you know they're not gonna mess up this next caller let's hear from anonymous they might you never know hi good guys i need to know if i'm nuts because i'm perseverating on this i'm a teacher at elementary school, and I really bonded with one of my students' families,

and I made them a baked ziti because the mom had a baby.

So I got news that the mom had the baby,

so I brought the baked ziti to school with a nice olive garden salad,

put it in the staff refrigerator, all buttoned up, ready to go.

After school came, I went to go give her the baked ziti, and there was a big scoop out of it. Like, the anger, I feel, is insane.
I had the principal look at the security cameras. Now everyone around the school is trying to figure out who took a scoop of the big ziti.
We're calling it ziti gate. Am I nuts? Or is the person who took a scoop of someone else's food absolutely nuts? I'd love to hear your insight on this.
Everyone involved is nuts. ZitiGate sounds lit.
It does. You're nuts.
Sorry. Like, showing favoritism to students.
You're making a pan of baked ziti to send home with a kid. How good is baked ziti? Delicious.
What could be better? Oh, do I love a ziti? I'll have diarrhea for a month. Like this really, there's something about the way that the cheese is layered that just doesn't sit right with me.
But it is fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.
If I saw, first of all, I would never go into a fridge. I'm not one of those people that would ever touch something that isn't mine.
That said, if I'm at a public school and this is a communal fridge and there is a tray of something, I might assume that it's for everyone. You know, because it's so big.
Like, why else would you have brought a tray in? Nobody's going to think that you're then giving it to a kid to bring home to his mom. Nobody thinks you're that strange.

The strangest part is that you would couple a beautiful homemade dish with an Olive Garden

salad.

Oh, that too.

That's weird.

Wild.

No, yes, we completely breezed past that point.

If you get Olive Garden salad to go, can you call up the store and have them deliver more?

More.

Yeah, unlimited.

Yeah, for sure.

Should be.

You should.

Why not?

All of a sudden, I mean, it's a lot of labor cheap way to get a friend thank you yeah zd gate is really funny and i first of all communal refrigerators in general and i'll say this about the dear media office they smell yeah for sure of course they do no one's cleaning it out i mean look at us but and then they never get cleaned out and then. And then they're always threatening.
Everything's getting thrown out on Thursday. Never gets thrown out.
Ever. Nope.
Disgusting. Disgusting.
Yeah. No good.
There's no baking soda in there. Isn't that a thing? You open up a baking soda, you put it in, it won't smell.
Sure, it absorbs. An air freshener for the fridge.
Does that exist? Yeah, sure. I've used.
You have? Mm-hmm. They're great.
Amazon. Okay.
Good to know. Just saying.
Last one from someone else. I heard you wondering if there's any non-Jews listening to Good Guys and I'd like to expand it.
Leonardo, I'm from Brazil and Good Guys is my favorite podcast ever. I really have a great time listening to you..
Love you, Leonardo. And Olivia, too.
She's great. I'm not Jew.
I'm Christian. And every time you say BH, it reminds me of my state's capital, Belo Horizonte, which means beautiful horizon.
BH, it's way better than butthole, though. Love you guys.
Come to Brazil. I'm coming.
Wow. What a majestic voice.
Fans in Brazil. We're global.
You think these other podcasts have fans in Brazil? No. No way.
We have fans in Brazil while eating Russ and Daughters. Yes.
It's impossible. But it's possible because it's good.
All I have to say to Leonardo is bon dia. Beautiful.
Hello in Portuguese. Amazing.
I love Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I love Rio de Janeiro.
Love. I love, who's your great player? Neymar.
Sure. I love it all.
Soccer. Football.
Gisele Bundchen. Sure.
Kimmy. Love.
Yes. I love Leonardo.
He's the only thing I love about Brazil.

I would love to.

There's Brazilian Jews.

There are.

There are?

We would do great in Brazil.

I'm in.

Anywhere but here.

Yes.

This place is gross.

I'm over it.

Do you have your Woody and Nuts?

Yeah.

I do have my Woody and Nuts.

I go to UPS.

Okay?

I'm carrying a big box.

And there's a woman in front of me.

She's checking out.

She's a little more on the elderly side. Not too elderly elderly i'm not like making fun of the elderly okay late 60s and she's asking him all these questions about getting her tracking number i'm holding a big box okay like i want her just to move along but whatever she's asking her questions when will i get my tracking when will the box is delivered all this stuff how much will it be he says go onto your pin pad she goes onto the.
He walks her through how to go to the bottom, except she gets to her signature, right? This is the last step before the process is over. What do you do, Josh, when you get to a pin pad signature at a UPS or at a Starbucks or at anywhere like that? What do you do? Just a quick.
It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
You could write a straight line and it doesn't matter. This woman.
I don't know if her name was Gloria Vanderbilt, but she wrote it as if it was that long. Like the most perfect signature I've ever seen at UPS.
Nuts. What are you, nuts? Just scribble.
Move along. We're all trying to send out packages.
I don't have time for this. Same.
N what are you nuts moment of the week as i mentioned as i teased i flew the great united here love it so wonderful wonderful airline polaris my flat i am schluffing which is the yiddish word for sleeping i am having a nice schluff oh no because they have nice bedding i gotta say. I got to say, again, not sponsored.
Yeah. Because you usually get like a pillow that's full of tissues.
Yeah, no good. Horrible.
Horrible. They give you two.
They give you a memory foam and a nice down Saks Fifth Avenue thing. Wow.
So I'm sleeping. I'm schluffing.
I'm beautiful. I feel the whack.
I wake up, mouth guard in. You know, I'm, uh, yeah.
The woman goes, the flight attendant goes, we're landing. It's time to wake up.
I go, Oh, sorry. Okay.
Gotcha. Now I go, look at, look at where we are in space, right? You know? So I go up on the board, the little thing, and I see flight tracker, 32 minutes to landing.
To landing? To landing. Oh, that that's awful it was like the first one saying yes we are now going to begin our end of flight procedure giving you a heads up no good can't couldn't she have done it at 10 minutes yes 15 yes this is when what are you nuts yes 32 minutes no good I missed 20 minutes of shluff you You did.
And those were prime minutes. Yes.
Prime. She was jealous that you were sleeping and she was awake.
Like, sorry, you picked a red eye. Yes.
Sorry. I was having a nice schluff.
That's no good. What are you, nuts? That's nuts.
That's nuts. What's also nuts is we don't do every episode in person.
So true. So much better.
We eat bagels. We enjoy.
You must have loved it. If you didn't love it, what are you, nuts?

And I don't care. Give us five stars anyways.

The producer passed out. It stinks so

bad to me. Sorry, man.

Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch us on YouTube. Share

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Mondays and Thursdays, folks.

We will see you next time. I don't know where to look.
Next time. Next times, folks, we will see you next time.

I don't know where to look. Next time.
Next time. Next time.
I'll see you next time.

Thank you.