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Make it your weekly routine. It's a good guys.
And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys. We're not the great guys.
We're just the good, good, good, good guys. Is Barron Trump too tall? Yes.
No, the thing is, yet he's too tall. He looks, I saw it hysterical.
I'm sure you saw the same video where they made him like actually 45 feet tall. Did you see that video? No.
I have to find it and send it to you. It's Trump and Melania.
They're walking into the White House and Barron is behind them, but they made him 50 feet tall. Whoa.
Walking behind them. It's so funny.
Yeah, he's tall. Jealous.
Oof. That's good height.
We touched on the inauguration last episode. First, I want to just say something.
Somebody was giving us crap about us talking about the fires and whatnot. And they're like, you shouldn't get political on the i felt inclined to say one thing first of all it's not political it's in my backyard it's like 10 miles away it's like affected everything like so many people i've known so like it would be weird to not talk about a literal fire in my backyard but more so the beauty of this podcast what you people don't know you think and I, we have such differing viewpoints.
The truth is, we are so close on everything we think. And what's cool is a little bit of conflict.
We know what sells. The truth is, we go out, we eat steak together, we're laughing, we're booking more hero bread spots.
We have no conflict. But the beautiful thing about our relationship, I find, is that you give your opinion on something.
I give my opinion on something. And if you really had to find the truth of the situation, it's probably somewhere in the middle of what both of us said.
And we know that. And I think that's something that should be more embraced.
I completely agree. And if you don't want us to, the term political, fires are not political.
There's nothing, perhaps you politicized the fire, you see, but fires aren't political. Politics are political.
And the only time that we're ever going to talk about something is when we want to, because this is our show. And when we want to escape, we escape.
And when we want to dive in, we dive in. And that's the beauty, folks.
The beauty of us having our own show. So if you had an issue with us talking about the fires, take it up with Karen.
Karen. It's her fault.
Karen Bass Pro Shop. Can you imagine the collab? my god my head just exploded oh my god Karen Bass Pro Shop that is a dream somebody call Lauren and Michael Bostic I see a podcast I see it too Karen Bass having an outdoorsman series because she won't be mayor anymore no No, no, she's going to be a part of the homeless population.
You're going to feed her and feed the streets. Oh my God.
Can you imagine? But I have to say, Josh, I message this to you. The work that you do, I don't know if everybody knows this.
And yeah, maybe he posts about it because he wants us to know he's doing it. But Josh does so much charitable work.
He's out here feeding these streets. He's there looking for an extra Nutri-Grain bar.
Can you give him some more non-perishables? Okay. He needs non-perishables for these people that are hungry.
Josh is out here every day just feeding the streets. And I just have to say, Josh, bravo.
Love you, Ben. Thank you.
You and your wonderful wife are incredibly benevolent and philanthropic. And you're right.
I would give myself, I would say one out of four posts are for me with the charity stuff. And, you know, my favorite quote is do something good and don't get caught doing it right it doesn't count if you tell people oh you'll never guess how good i was today but these these organizations i work with like feed the streets and so on like we need volunteers it's great when people donate so that we can you know feed first responders or we do four feeds a week on la skid row and in MacArthur Park.
And, you know, having a big social media following helps support that. So a lot of times they want a shout out and I'm happy to oblige.
So yes, I love the compliments, but I'm mostly doing it to help these organizations. I feel like though, like there's enough sponsors, there's enough big companies, like there should never be the lack of non-perishables at a feed the streets event that you're at.
Like these people need to pony up. Okay.
Like I'm trying to think of what sponsors we have that are in that universe, but like give them, give, donate some free snacks. Like where they're not a sponsor, but like where the fuck is kind? Kind Bar can't give you 9 million Kind Bars.
They can. They can.
I think they probably, I mean, it has been, through my buddy Nick Antonian, some very reputable Armenians from the Valley, they created an amazing donation center at the Santa Anita racetrack where I was for like the two weeks after the fires. And the amount of donations was so incredible.
Like people were so generous, so many different companies, so many people selling, sending just truckloads, pallets of water and foods and things. And it was my buddy Nick's friend, Ponch, who was like the head of all of it.
And I don't think he appreciated that every time I saw him, I was like, I just want to hang out with you and call it the punch bowl or like vacation that would make you tropical punch if i can tell my kids anything if i have to like and it'd be interesting for you to start thinking about this i'd love to hear what you think because you're a deeply good person benjamin is like i think if i had to tell my kids like one thing it would be that you know giving back is the cover charge for your life you know totally that's it's kind of it it's just like it's the only free high i found in life and it will it will set a great cycle of goodness in your life going. As Jews, we learn about it from a young age.
I'm sure everybody does, but like, I distinctly remember, I actually don't remember what my mitzvah project was, LOL, but you have a mitzvah project for your Barabat mitzvah. And the whole thing is surrounding what good are you going to do in the world? And in Judaism, I wish I don't do this.
I should do this. You're actually supposed to give 10% of everything you make to charity.
Right. 10%.
And I would like to reach a place where I can do that. One day I hope to be able to do that.
Today I'm not doing that. I do give as generously as I feel I can, but I can't give that much yet.
But yes, giving back is everything. And when you get somebody like an appreciative person, nothing feels better.
I know that's not why you're doing it, but nothing feels better. I'm going to tell a story that I never wanted to tell because I did it out of the goodness of my heart.
But this city is so fucking cold, Josh. I'm on my way home two weeks ago and I see outside of Bloomingdale's there is a homeless man whose right hand is literally purple.
He's sitting on the street. His hand is fucking purple.
I go into Bloomingdale's. I'm like, I'm going to buy this guy gloves and a scarf.
I go to the men's section. Do you know that the cheapest glove in Bloomingdale's actually gets, what do you think of the cheapest pair of gloves in Bloomingdale's? Men's store brand.
Bloomingdale's store brand there. Yes.
Yes. $50.
98. Wow.
I spent $250 on a scarf.

Men's Bloomingdale's brand scarf and gloves. I gave it to this guy.
And when I tell you, it was a look like from, from God, his hands were so cold. So I'm telling the story because it also, it's important to do the right thing.
It feels good to do the right thing and it can become addicting. So give.
If you see a homeless man on the street, give the homeless man money. Of course, not if he looks scary.
Don't look him in the eye if he looks scary to you. But if he doesn't look scary or she looks scary, give the money because you really don't need the $10.
I'm sorry. Like you don't give it to him or her.
Yeah. He needs it.
And I would check your intellectual fortitude. Like if you're using some intellectual justification of why I'm not going to give money because of this.
I'm like, or have you considered maybe you're just greedy?

yeah whatever you've told yourself to make it okay to not i love robbie hoffman talks about this all the time i i love what she said on our pod which that her mother when she was growing up

and she talked about having huge financial struggles and her mom would sometimes see a

homeless person and give them this all the time. I love what she said on our pod, which that her mother, when she was growing

up and she talked about having huge financial struggles and her mom would sometimes see a homeless person and give them a five. And she'd be like, a five? Like, I thought we're tight.
Like, I thought we were broke. And you're giving like, not giving just a one, you're giving a five.
And the mother would be like, you know, sometimes you have to, you know, give it away, even if just to remind yourself that you can. Right.
Like in this situation, you can. So I try to remember that.
And I think it's actually better to give straight to the people, which is why I like Feed the Streets, because we're small and scrappy than a huge charity organization. This is the problem.
Honestly, I have problems with giving money on a link to these huge places and not knowing where it's going. Like I, I, I can't, I can't donate a thousand dollars to a random organization, but you also can't give it to one person because that just doesn't, there needs to be somewhere in between.
There needs to be a place. I think that people would give so much more if they actually felt like what they were giving was going somewhere.
Like I remember, I'm sure you know this Wounded Warrior Project. It came out that they literally like kept 75% of the money.
Something like something insane. So I'm giving all of this money to US veterans families thinking that I'm supporting them.
Meanwhile, this charity is getting rich and it only takes one bad apple to create a stigma that when you donate to a huge company with all of these important people on payrolls, you just have no idea. So I think that the system is a little bit broken here where we need to feel confident that when we give money, it goes to the right place.
And if we did feel that way, I think a lot more people would do it it you know what the second part of one bad apple is to that same two bad apples one bad apple ruins the barrel yeah yeah yeah ruins the barrel yeah i'm saying yeah by the way you ever seen apples in a barrel i haven't no it's weird no you know no i've one bad know, the display at Safeway. You know? That's what it should be.
Exactly. One bad apple skeeves you out.
Yeah. Yes.
He's nasty. Oh, my God.
A bad apple is gross. Bruised apple.
Fuck, dude. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Quip.
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This is Gracie Norton from the Wellness Herway podcast,

the ultimate sanctuary for a welcoming approach to wellness. It seems like every day there's a new food we're not supposed to eat, a new cleanse to take part in, or a new workout that claims to give us a flat stomach within a week.
Rather than hopping on trends, we're going back to the roots of wellness and making a home of our body, mind, and soul. If you're seeking physical growth, emotional abundance, or simply a more fulfilling life, tune in to the Wellness Herway podcast on November 6th.
Get ready to embrace your body through all its forms and get back to the roots of wellness. I love sharing this with you, Ben.
You are going to see with kids, you're going to have to take out a home loan for berries. The amount of fucking berries that you go through with these children.
Who knew these berries could be eaten so much? And I have not found a sound set of berries since I've had children. These things, they grow mold faster than you can imagine.
It's no good. I actually, I've been on quite the blueberry kick.

I have, I've been a little bit hungry at night.

I'm looking for something to snack on.

I started to dip my toe, Josh, into Greek yogurt.

I like to take a little Greek yogurt, a little granola, a little honey, little berries.

I might as well be eating a Snickers.

That's how much sugar is in what I'm eating at night.

I, two nights ago, Josh, I blacked out and I must have had like an entire pint of Faye yogurt. Oh my God, you're such a food addict.
With like a mountain of blueberries, so much healthy granola. The Ozymbi in your body was like, no, no, no.
You know the pint, you know the pint containers I'm talking about of yogurt. I had- It's massive.
I had a pint. I looked at Claudia, I'm like, oh my God.
It's a trough. I was like, oh my God, my stomach, my gas could literally kill someone yeah like this is terrible your name your

stomach's name was your ghost after that yeah the blueberries were no good blueberries were no good

strawberries i find last a little bit longer blackberries yeah the berries it's a big big

berry kick i love berries well you gotta talk to somebody at big berry because they're they're

making sure that these things i mean i'm getting 36 hours out of these things sometimes and

Thank you. Well, we've got to talk to somebody at Big Berry because they're making sure that these things, I mean, I'm getting 36 hours out of these things sometimes.
And you always see the TikTok trends where people go, oh, you got to wash it and have 50% vinegar. I'd rather throw them away.
I'd rather lose all my money. I'm not putting vinegar on my fruit.
I know. Vinegar belongs nowhere near fruit.
Nowhere. I know that.
I don't want don't want that that's no good also the reason why they're dead when they get to you is because it probably took like two weeks for them to get to the grocery store they sat at the grocery store for a week and then you got them i need farm to table well the great anthony bourdain quote is is when he says i've never eaten a restaurant that it that isn't farm to table where else is the food coming from well yes it's true but i don't want any middleman right farm table quick in and out oh i have such a routine at night to walk off my anxiety. Once my children are asleep from like eight to nine, I'll walk to the local supermarket in my town, which is about a mile away from my house.
And I see all my friends in the supermarket and I peruse the discount cart because I want to see the damaged product. And 90% of the time I don't get it..
But then, like, sometimes I'll get a chunky peanut butter 50% off. And I'm just, I'm walking home, ripping pods, eating fucking zins, and living a great life.
It's so funny. I've never seen a discounted section in a grocery store.
Oh, please. It's not in the upper East side.
No, by the way, in New York, they just, they leave it with everything else. Dented.
Like fingers crossed. He buys it.
Open. Like they're trying to trick you.
Like the best. So funny.
The best with kids is when you're going and, and I'll be with Max and shy and we'll be at the supermarket or Costco or whatever and they'll be hungry and or I'll be hungry and I'll just rip open a package of something that's in the cart and my son Max will be like, but Papa, he doesn't call me Papa, I don't know why I said that. But he'll be like, but Mr.
Peck, like you can't eat it.

We haven't paid for it.

And I'll be like, I'm going like you can't eat it we haven't paid for it and i'll be like i'm gonna i could eat all of it if i want to like i'm a i'm a big eaten line guy oh yeah babe big eaten line i'm also a big walking eater when it's not 10 degrees literally josh i can't feel either of my big toes exactly in this room. Like they're frozen solid.
When it's not this cold, I will go get a salad and I will eat the salad as I walk. Love it.
You'll catch me with a bowl in my left hand, a fork in my right, and I'm eating and walking. I'd say more of my lunches are spent walking than sitting.
Totally. As it should be.
But I always think to myself, like, am I going to choke? Is that how you find out that I died? I got a piece of salmon lodged in my throat because I was eating a salad while walking. Worth it.
I guess so. What are you going to sit? These people, when they're at Starbucks and they've got three computer monitors out, and I'm like, I know you're unhoused.
How do you have this many electronics? No, but like, and they sit and they enjoy their meal. And how do you, how do you have the time? How do you have the time to enjoy meals like that in the middle of the day? You don't have anything better to do.
Like I also, I'm just an impatient person. If I can pick up five minutes, I'm picking it up.
Yeah. My wife hates, I'm right out of the pot, over the stove, three to seven minutes.
And she's like, you know, I made this,'t you i'm like oh i'm sorry i didn't know i'm i live with danielle balu you know what i'm saying like excuse me like can we just eat it out of the all clad can we eat it out of the caraway pot page yeah by the way so many burners there's one meal 19 burners we need these many burners oh we've been watching when was the last time have so many burners. There's one meal, 19 burners.
We need these many burners. Oh, we've been watching.
When was the last time? Have you watched Barefoot Contessa from the beginning? Not from the beginning, but I've watched it for 20 years. You must watch it from the beginning, Josh.
First of all, Ina Garten is a queen. Yeah.
She has all these gay guys over. She's kissing them all on the lips.
I've never seen something. Poor Jeffrey.

He's just there.

He's sitting there in the corner while she's smooching her interior designer.

But the show is unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

The amount of waste, though, that she has with the pots,

which is what made me think of it.

She will take something out of her pan,

put it into a bowl, out of a bowl, into another bowl,

into the other bowl bowl into the food processor

love queen she doesn't care she's not doing the fucking dishes ina's kissing gay men hold on i'm trying to think could you imagine if we could just free kiss some lesbians you had to see it i only brought it up because i was so shocked she's like how are you i'm like oh

this is cable like oh hello dale

and you see dale like this

chip and dale are two of our oldest friends and boy is dale good at kissing

chip loves my roast chicken and dale loves my lips and oh my god josh does she love salt she'll put salt in everything in the vinaigrette on the salad on the steak and at the very end could use a little bit more salt everything needs more salt and she you know what josh she's right totally everything could use a little more salt well you're an authority you're a chef so tell me if this is right and it's another bourdainism but it's something i experienced the other day at this great restaurant called sento in the west adams district in los angeles they have an open kitchen concept and part of the kitchen My buddy Avner's the owner. It's so good.
It's like Mediterranean Italian. I know that Italian is Mediterranean technically, but not in the way you would think, but they have some incredible pastas and things.
And Bourdain always says the biggest difference between going out and eating at home is a stick of butter. He's like, there is a stick of butter in butter in your food when you go out.
And that's why you like it so much. And you know what? Watching them cook for an hour.
I was like, oh yeah, they are liberal. 1000%.
I'm there watching Ina. She's making a rib roast, Josh.
She took, she made her own. It's an herb butter.
She, she put butter all over the whole roast. This is a big roast.
She buttered the whole roast, put it into the oven. I'm positive it was the best ever.
It's the same thing with Luger's. I love a Luger's steak.
But the reason that you love a Luger's steak is because they are putting a whole stick of butter on the steak. Yes.
A whole stick. And that's why people always complain about kosher steakhouses.
They're like, why doesn't it taste good? Because there's no butter. They don't mix milk and meat.
That's why it's worse. Sorry.
Somebody needs to find a suitable alternative to butter because it's not margarine. No, you could put a heaping dose of olive oil on it.
The problem is too, is that it's the meat salted for your kashrut. Some, yeah, some cuts are more salted than others.
Some aren't like really like a skirt. It's super salted for sure.
And you need to get out the salt. But the nuances, I'm telling you, it's the butter.
The butter is the real problem. That's the real problem.
Olivia, what's like the meal, like a date night meal or the meal that a young Ethan trying to make you swoon? Like what would be the perfect meal for that for you? For me, honestly, like a well-prepared steak, like a New York strip, really well-prepared with like some delicious roasted vegetables. Like I need them seasoned well, you know, like a good, perhaps like a crisp on it.
I'm not entirely sure, but anything with a big steak and some roasted potatoes too on the side, that's it for me. Oh, wow.
I'm in love. I would love a steakhouse steaks and good sides, a queen spinach, a nice mashed potato, but that's starving.
But that's also the problem with traditional steakhouse places like the great Jerry G and I've talked about this before, Jerry Greenberg of Sugarfish and Kazunori and the genius behind all of it he has a place called Matu in Beverly Hills which is a steakhouse I love because like they do have a cream spinach they do have some sides but they're all super light and good and the focus is on the Wagyu Australian steak and it's just not you're not going to get your ass kicked and you'll certainly be full but it's not the same as going to uh a mastro's or morton's where you can be eating eight pounds of butter cake and you know three bread baskets that sounds so good though oh it's so good that sounds so good but i would do for that butter cake beyond that butter cake beyond it is it yeah it's it it it is it what's the difference between cream spinach josh and spinach artichoke dip besides the artichoke i guess in theory cheese right there's there's traditionally not cheese and cream spinaches there i guess just heavy cream right i actually yeah you're right they do uh a roux a roux they thicken it yes thicken it perhaps a roux mcclanahan shout out the golden girls perhaps and before we move off of steaks i accidentally people were very upset at me i bought a wagyu and i marinated it and people were very upset at me the steak was fantastic but they said you do not marinate a wagyu you do not otherwise you're not entitled to buy a wagyu so i apologize to the culinary community that said also fuck you okay what the hell do they know I will say it looked more like a rib road like it looked like a skirt steak it didn't look like a proper it was a it was a kosher wagyu it wasn't this okay it wasn't this it's it's funny cuisine wrote under snake river I'm like I wish same here, it's Shlomo River. Shlomo River.
It's called, it's the Dead Sea. It's Ashunda River.
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Well, we should definitely get to some stories. And in the New York Post, a bride duped into marrying influencer in fake ceremony for followers.
But it was actually an elaborate scam. Here comes the bride.
But the groom lied. Most newlyweds get a shiny toaster or a new fat check in celebration of their holy matrimony.
However, this troubled twosome just got an annulment by request of the furious bride who claims she thought that her wedding ceremony was a social media prank and not a legally binding union. He told me that he's organizing a prank wedding for his social media.
The unnamed woman, a 20 something from Melbourne, Australia, recently explained to a family court judge, to be precise, Instagram continued the bamboozled bride, saying the fella had 17,000 followers. He wants to boost his content and wanted to start monetizing his Instagram page with a fake sham wedding.
Turns out it was real, real, real, real, real. This girl is nuts.
Yeah. What are you agreeing to? This is your fault.
You walked in. What is it? You lie down with dogs.
You wake up with fleas. This guy is no good.
You agreed to marry somebody for a prank. He wasn't even famous yet to help him go viral.
What are you nuts? You hang out in a barbershop. Your fault.
You get a haircut. Your fault, lady.
Your fault.

Totally.

And even if it was true, even if he was a successful TikToker, like you're marrying a successful TikToker.

No, thanks.

No, I don't want that.

What's next?

A podcaster?

Well, also in the New York Post, want to have better sex? Find yourself a man who cries.

Sexperts say, catch of a lifetime. I told you, Paige.
I told you. Boys who blubber make better lovers.
Turns out sobbers are better in the sack. Men who cry are the best lovers.
Mariana Lazarus said relationship

expert and author of Men

Need Love Too. Oh my god,

this was like written from me to Paige.

It's been rough.

They get pregnant and all of a sudden you don't exist

anymore. That's right.

You're not allowed to say anything.

You did. I know.

I know, I know. You're creating life, but I'm creating loneliness here on the couch i could use a cuddle you cuddle the baby all day it's in you big baby needs up too the fine line between vulnerability and masculinity is the biggest challenge for men she explained that finding a man in touch with his emotions will allow people to find the catch of a lifetime rather than just a day yeah what do you think yeah yeah honestly i was laughing too hard i caught i missed the whole i mean i missed the whole thing what the hell is this i guess just find and find yourself and and you'll be happy forever.
I can say kudos to Claudia.

I'm a crier.

True that.

I see a nice movie where at the end, like a Homeward Bound, I'm crying Homeward Bound,

Josh.

Oh my God.

Who is it?

Dog comes home.

I'm crying.

I'm crying in Mrs. Delfire.

Okay.

When he loses custody of his kids, I'm crying.

Okay.

Yeah.

So I guess I'm good in the sack. We to stay with him what is marvelous i want to stay with him daddy oh my god that movie is so good.
It's so good. Oh, sir.
I saw it. It was an angry member of the kitchen staff.
Did you not tip them? Oh, it was a run by fruiting. Also, how did they get Pierce Brosnan? Was he just in 007 or had he not done it yet? I don't know, but it's Pierce Brosnan.
It's Sally Field, brilliant actor. I mean, Harvey Fierstein, come on.
No, no, no. This is, I also, I go around town or I went around town for at least two years shouting from the rooftops, people need to watch Mrs.
Doubtfire. They did.
It literally like won an like oh yeah they watched it and they loved it

it was incredibly critically acclaimed i know ben thought he was gatekeeping mrs downfire i fully thought for years i was like you guys have to watch this movie and then i found out like yeah bro we did, we did. Beloved.
Bro, we saw it. We loved it.
It's awesome. Yeah.
Have you seen The Birdcage? Have I seen The Birdcage? One of the greatest movies ever. Now that movie, I'm convinced not enough people have seen.
And that is a great movie. Everyone older than you has seen it, right? Like that's the hard part is I think that people, and I think that I really believe there was a cutoff and it's people like 30 and below.
Like, I think you have much more in common with people my age and up until like 40s and early 50s. Your references are much closer than someone who's 24.
Of course. Right? Because I see one new movie every four years.
I listen to one new song every four years. Everything is older.
Everything. Also, though, these movies are just better.
They're better. Sorry.
They're much better. Nathan Lane is a stud.
Right. Oh, The Birdcage, which is based on one of the great musicals called la caja foe which came out in the 70s brilliant and then they turned it into a movie i mean and people are going to be like turning off the pod because whatever but screw you it is robin williams nathan lane gene hackman brilliant dianeiest, who plays his wife, Hank Azaria, in maybe one of the great performances ever.
I've done a nice shoes. Okay.
So good. It is so fucking good.
By the way, the only reason you should be turning off the podcast is to watch The Birdcage. You have my permission.
You can resume it afterwards, but it's brilliant and and you also have to appreciate because whenever that came out in 94 whatever like i'm so glad that today that two men being married and being introduced to their son's fiance's family who's like from the midwest and more in quotes traditional whatever now that just seems as natural as natural can be. And it should be.
But in the nineties, I was fucking daring. Like a movie like that was new and it was done so well.
But Robin was daring. And then we can go off Robin Williams, but Robin Williams, every single movie was daring.
Everything that he did, he was so funny. He was so compassionate.
I'm going to cry. It's back to being a crier.

So I'm good in the sack.

He's smart.

He's funny.

And he's dead. And that really sucks.

He was one of the greats.

And I remember I did, you know, it's a meme that has even gone around even more as of

recently of me cursing out a bunch of kids on a boat when I was very overweight.

What?

Send it to me.

I've never seen that. How have you not seen this? not seen this you're you're mr oh i don't know i made this movie yeah i can already tell olivia knows so it's a meme of me when i was 16 in a movie called mean creek the conceit of the movie is i'm a bully and i beat up this kid at the beginning of the movie, Rory Culkin, Kieran's little brother.
And he and his older brother and a couple other kids decide like, this bully sucks. We're going to invite him out on this boat trip and we're going to say it's a birthday party and we're going to really befriend him.
And then we're going to play a really evil trick on him. And it goes really terribly.
And that scene is me getting wind of the plan and that this

wasn't them trying to endear me to the group because as of course the day goes on, they find

out like, I have a learning disability. I'm totally misunderstood.
I don't mean it. I'm so happy to

have friends in this moment. And they start to feel really bad about what's going on.
But anyway,

we made this movie for 300 grand. It won Sundance.
It did really well. And we won a special distinction

of the start to feel really bad about what's going on but anyway we made this movie for 300 grand it won sundance it did really well and we won a special distinction award at the independent spirit awards because we were all like between 14 and 18 and it was like these six performances of like these pretty unknown kids so they were like we don't we don't know whether to give them like put them in a category together but then they have to like beat each other to see who wins let's just give them the movie and their performance a special distinction award and robin williams was there and i was the one who gave the speech for the award and i did a pretty good job because i like had some jokes written and i worked on it And he came up to me and my mom after and was like, so lovely.

He went on a... pretty good job because I like had some jokes written and I worked on it and he came up to me

and my mom after and was like so lovely he went on he went on to make a joke on on the stage he was like oh I want to congratulate the Mean Creek cast and Josh Peck who will be the future head of Paramount it was just like really nice I'll never forget that my mom actually Robin Williams came over and was schmoozing with us and my mom goes I'm calling my brother and Robin Williams had to say hi to my uncle Richard it's so classic oh my god that's amazing the end of the story is years later I did another indie movie with his daughter Zelda after he had passed away And we were just chatting and she like somehow could see into my eyes. And she was like, you love my dad, didn't you? And I was like, yeah, of course.
Like he meant so much to me. And she was like, you know, when he was doing, maybe I won't share the story.
Ooh, that's a good, this is, I'll tell you Ben off mic and you Olivia. You have to, and then we'll turn it into an eight minute clip.
I clip. I don't know.
I don't know. I would have to ask her if it's OK for me to share it.
But she told me an awesome story about when he was in Good Morning Vietnam, like a very special story about him. And it's just innocent and interesting.
I just don't know if she's ever told it publicly. But it was just, you know, she's awesome and great guy.

Shout out Robin Williams.

Why don't we have,

if you, we should have her on the show.

Yeah.

That would be really fun.

I would love that.

She's great.

I love him so much.

We'd have to also talk about her,

not just him.

Oh, well, yes.

Should we get to a speak pipe?

Yes.

If you want to leave us a message, if you want to get advice from us ask us a question keep it brief brevity is key and go to speakpipe.com slash good guys this first one is from i don't know guys love listening to the podcast you guys are hilarious i have a question for you i've talked with my husband at length about, but you guys feel like the brothers I always wanted. So I want your opinion.
I have worked for a company, a small company for six years now. I'm pregnant with my first baby and wondering what I should do once baby is here.
This company has had its ups and downs over the years. Now I'm working remote for this company and I have to drive to the office once a week, maybe twice.
It's an hour and a half away. This past year for Christmas, I got a Christmas bonus with air quotes of a hundred dollars.
And I'm just wondering if that's my sign to pursue freelance and contract work. I'm a graphic designer and have always thought about doing that, but is now the time to do that and shake things up? Or should I stay with a consistent salaried income? I guess I'm wondering, am I a spoiled millennial brat that thinks that I don't have to work a consistent job to support my family and that it's selfish to take this risk right now? Or should I do it because I'll be happier and potentially make more money doing freelance?

Let me know your thoughts.

Thanks, guys.

My first thought is that, boy, are you long-winded.

No, okay.

So you do not shake things up right now.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You work for this company.

Keep your salary.

I am going to assume, I hope you work for a good employer. It sounds like you do, that that employer would give you insurance unless your husband gets insurance and then maybe you can go off of his plan.
But insurance is important. Don't take that for granted.
And when you're freelance, You just never know. You're relying on clients, relying on them staying.
It's just you. You can't slack.
I feel like you and your job, you said you go in twice a week. Talk to them.
Say, look, I'd like to work from home completely. I'm a young mom.
I'm going to be able to do more if I don't have my six hours of commuting a week and see what they say. I bet you they say yes.
And I hope you're getting paid well because a hundred dollar gift card to Amazon after six years at a company is a direct Christmas gift. It's bad.
It's really bad. It's almost, I was thinking that why'd they give her anything? Right.
Just say, just say that the company can't do bonuses this year. Sorry.
Like we didn't do well enough. That's a, that's a fine thing to say, but a hundred dollars is worse.
It's worse. Especially cause Josh, that hundred is taxed 50%.
Bonuses are taxed at 50% fricking government. And if you really want to do a shitty move, go on maternity leave.
And on the last week, then leave. Yeah.
That's not cool, but. No, it depends on how big the company is.
actually think it's incredibly cool if it's a huge company i think it's really fucked up if it's a small company if you work for google do that all day apple all day amazon all day mom and pop if you work for spritz society and do that it would be really depressing if you do that while we're doing our V8 collab launch. are dead to us no no so by the way with this tom holland making the uh you know the the non-alcoholic beer these moments these mocktail moments non-alcoholic it's getting hot when am i getting my collab request this is so fucking clearly a layup a non-alcoholic spritz society brought to you by your boy josh peck.
Great. We can do it.
Pencil it. It's in.
Olivia. I don't believe in non-alph, Josh.
I don't believe in it. I know that you and I will finish this pod and talk about how unenthusiastic he seemed and how much of that hurt.
Josh, I would rather, do you really want a non-alcoholic? Let's talk about it, okay? I would do it if you wanted it. I'd rather, you want, don't you want soda? Don't you want, you want something that tastes delicious? What am I making? These non-alcoholics, I don't get it, Josh.
Why do you want beer that tastes like beer that doesn't get you drunk? I actually have a question. As somebody who's sober, if you had that, wouldn't you just want real beer? It's a great question.
I come from an old school meeting where I got sober was a bunch of old school guys, 40, 50 years sober. Their feeling was, and it doesn't matter because everyone can do whatever the frick they want.
Their feeling was don't drink O'Doul's or 0% beer, especially when you're getting sober, because you'll never lose the taste for it. And also, what are you going for for here it's not going to get you drunk yes so that's i don't but i know plenty of sober people who do and funny enough recently i was at a friend's house and i was at my friend's in-law's house and they were like dead set on giving me a heineken a heineken 0.0 and i'm like i got 16 years sober i don't want to offend these people okay I'll have a sip what and I've had a sip here and there of zero percent for like a movie or something when it has to look like beer in my glass and and I was like this is delicious it was it was crisp and refreshing but yeah I wouldn't make a habit of it I just think it's strange I I don't I don't understand it.
And like you're seeing full-blown like non-alcoholic wine. Who wants juice? What about non-alcoholic tequila? But they don't make it, Josh, taste like juice.
They make it taste like wine where it's bitter. Why do you want something like the tequila that you were just about to say? They make non-c that burns your chest you're drinking this and you still have a burn the only benefit of the burn is that you're drunk so moral of the story if you want to if you like non-alc i would love to otherwise let's make a soda for you let's make a coffee for you let's make something that you fucking love let's make egg salad sandwiches to go.
Yes. Okay.
At gas stations. Let's do it.
That's my fave. Yeah.
You got me hot and bothered. The non-alph thing.
It just, I just don't get it. Drink soda.
What's wrong with seltzer? Ever heard of ginger ale? Love. Oh, have you ever had the Canada dry zero calorie ginger ale? Of course.
Unbelievable. Take me away.
Yeah. And especially you do the cranberry version.
You ever have the cranberry? Fab course. Unbelievable.
Take me away. Yeah, especially you do the

cranberry version. You ever have the cranberry?

Fabulous. Unbelievable.

I have a distinct memory. My grandma

would buy it by the big bottle

and we'd sit in Queens at her table

and we'd drink that Red 40 and my

mom would wonder, why haven't you gone to sleep?

I miss her.

Yeah, she's been dead a long time.

Babishka. Yeah, good woman.
Next one. hey ben and josh your theme song is so amazing the first time i heard it i rewinded your intro and listened to it again because it's so freaking good yes josh i wanted to say that i recently watched a clip of joan rivers in an interview and she said something along the lines of life can be hard if you can laugh to make it easier do it and if you can make someone laugh it's like you're giving them a vacation I feel like you guys do that for me and wanted to say thank you oh my also my god you might think my idea is nuts and that's okay.

But what if you change the name SpeakPipe to Food for Thought?

Love you guys.

Bye.

I love this woman.

Me too. By the way, another thing, SpeakPipes, okay?

Leave us compliments, okay?

Yeah.

Come on.

We'll play them.

I had to share that with you.

Although, Josh, it was amazing.

And everybody's probably like,

what are these guys nuts playing a compliment out loud?

No,

we don't get them enough.

You guys just consume,

consume.

It's,

it's never,

how are you?

It's what can you do for me today?

Okay.

How are you,

Ben and Josh?

You know,

we're pretty great,

but we're better now that we heard that lovely compliment that we made her day better. That's why we it it has nothing to do with the money it's to make her day better just her honestly josh we should stop running ads we should stop putting this on the rss feed we should just do it for her me you and her in the living room an hour two hours a week as long as we make her happy i would have nothing else nothing else matters next one from i don.
Hi guys, fellow moron here. I wanted your opinion on whether or not I'm being dramatic or petty in this situation.
So I have an ex-bus friend who I had been a part of key moments in their life, like them getting married. I gave a speech.
I was the first friend to meet their firstborn son and several other key moments. Then when it was my turn to get married, she ended up saying no to being a bridesmaid and did not attend the wedding, didn't send a card, nothing.
So after I asked her to be a bridesmaid, I hadn't heard from her since. Then now it's been over a year since I got married and I'm pregnant and I posted about it on Facebook.
She commented on it congratulating me. I liked everybody else's comment except for hers.
I did not acknowledge the message because I just feel like it's rude to not talk to me for over two years and then comment congratulating me on my baby as if she's my friend still. So I guess I'm just wondering, do you guys think I'm dramatic or petty? Am I overreacting or am I justified in my actions? I think you have too much time on your hands.
Look, I'm sorry. And if Olivia Josh, you guys disagree with me, let me know.
I think that this woman severely misread their friendship. If you invite somebody to be your bridesmaid, okay, you could think that you guys are really close and they could say yes, but maybe they just weren't that close.
It seems very strange to me or you offended her in some way. There's no way that all of a sudden she just cuts off communication for absolutely no reason.
And then if you don't want somebody commenting on your photo, don't be their friend. It was this Instagram, be private and unfollow them or don't let them follow you.
Like, I don't, I don't understand. I think get over it.
Olivia. I think that I've just noticed this, like with my like aunts and my mother, like some some of them have had instances with friends that they've had since they were like in middle school.
And those friendships have ended for like a number of different reasons. But one that I know happened was jealousy and like not being able to like some relationship issues, but nobody like did anything wrong really.
But anyway, all that to say like, not being able to, like, some relationship issues, but nobody, like, did anything wrong, really.

But anyway, all that to say, like,

it sounds like something happened that offended this friend,

or, you know, perhaps maybe there was something that came up

or that she didn't disclose to you,

but I think that it's really, like, so,

it's really self-centered, I do think, to, like, comment something like that, but not reach out personally after that much time. And it doesn't seem fair to say that publicly without like having an ever giving an explanation for what the reason to like say no to such a big life event and then just like turn around and never speak again.
It seems really weird. No good.
No good. I love it.
Actually, I mean, I do have experience with it. I have a friend who was a groomsman at my wedding.
I was not asked to be a groomsman at his wedding. But I recognize that when I got married, we were much closer than when he got married.
Sure. Like, I don't know if that's the same situation, but two years is a long time.
And it also kind of sounds like this girl was just, she was upset that she wasn't included or that the girl just declined and didn't say anything. It doesn't sound like she ever asked her why.
Like she didn't do what you did. What would piss me off somebody's upset at me tell me why you're upset at me and then we can never speak again but tell me tell me what i did wrong at least closure but if she never even asked that's weird too and maybe the girl just like i don't know maybe it's just like it sounds to me like it could just be like crazy miscommunication.
Like you never know what somebody else is going through. Maybe she declined, God forbid, because her grandmother passed away.
Totally. She couldn't go and she forgot all about it.
And she went to the funeral and, you know, they just weren't really that close anymore and they lost touch. And then she saw that she had a baby.
So she wrote congrats. Like you never know what somebody else is going through and thinking.
I'm not saying that that's the situation, but without'll never know right how stupid would she feel she goes to that girl she's like by the way what the fuck happened two years ago where you declined oh i'm so sorry my mother was hit by a car how fucking stupid would she feel god forbid it's a hard no it's a hard balance i olivia tell me what you think i like not that i had very like know, super long-term relationships before my wife, but the one or two girls that I dated before my wife, like we would break up and I was the one who instigated the breakup and I liked them as people very much. And I would always feel bad.
And like their birthdays would be three or six months or even a year after we broke up and I would ask friends I'd be like can I like

wish them a happy birthday or can I like send them flowers and unanimously people are like fucking no like leave them alone you broke up with them it's hurtful like and of course right and like and like I have a buddy who I went to high school with and his name's crazy Steve and No, I'm kidding.

But I have like buddies who I was like,

we were thick as thieves throughout as teenagers and in our twenties. And then we've totally lost touch.
And like, I've seen from afar that he had a baby and he's married and he moved and I'm like so happy for him, but it would be, you know, I want to say I'm so happy for you, dude. I love you, man.
Like even though we never see or we'll talk to each other, but it would be, you know, I want to say, I'm so happy for you, dude. I love you, man.
Like, even though we never see, or we'll talk to each other, but it'd be too weird to reach out. So maybe, so maybe I'm that person because I see an event from somebody that I was really close to a full blown decade ago where I feel in my heart, I'm so unbelievably happy that you are married and you had a baby and I'm sorry that we lost touch, but I still love you.
Yeah. Like we're not friends anymore, but just because we're not, not, nothing happened at least from my perspective.
And like, you have those people that you grew up with that you just love. Like I, I, if I, and if I saw them, I would want to give them a huge hug.
Maybe that's just me. Maybe they want to like, they, maybe they don't want to hug me if they saw me, but I don't know.
But isn't it great. But then there are those great friends.
Like I would say it was like you and I, before we started the pod, we're like, we would talk quarterly or if you were in LA or I was in New York, we would make sure to have a meal. And it was great.
Like, I love you and I love seeing you. But it was like, and I believe that if we didn't do the pod, like we probably would have grown closer.
But like, I think we could have had that forever where it's totally Ben's one of my best friends. I talked to him four times a year.
You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. I do.
And those are the best types of friends. Totally.
Those are the low maintenance friends. Those are the ones that understand.
It comes back to what I said before. Like you never know what somebody else is going through.
Like some people are so neurotic and selfish that they can't think that the reason why maybe you have an attitude problem is because you're going through something, not because you hate me. Like, I hate that.
I hate that with people like, oh, oh, you didn't respond to my text.

What?

Like, like I didn't respond to your text, not because of you.

I didn't respond to your text because I was clearly I was busy.

I was doing something.

It was an accident.

Call me tomorrow.

I'll pick up.

Like, yeah, when those people that are just like and I have these people, too, where they

just like they always assume that you're angry at them. Yeah.
And it's man life's busy I'm not angry at you shout out if funny you say that it reminds me of my good buddy who's one of my best friends who listened to the pod you know who you are and who recently I couldn't get back to him for a day and he was feeling slightly emo and said hey not sure if I did anything and anything. And I'm like, you didn't.
I just have children.

Love you.

I will call you ASAP.

But he recently has told me that he's been dating girls

who when they are canoodling,

they have asked to film their canoodles

and they leave his face out.

He's pretty laissez-faire.

He doesn't mind.

And I think it's 100% they are filming it for OnlyFans.

And he's like, no.

I'm like, I don't think that's a new kink.

I think they're monetizing hooking up with you.

He has multiple girls doing this?

More than one or two.

Olivia, love your thoughts.

Yeah, he's probably meeting them at like an OnlyFans luncheon.

And he's like, it can't be.

No.

It's impossible. He's meeting them at like an OnlyFans luncheon and he's like it can't be it's impossible

he's meeting

them at the AVN's

no they're definitely

doing it for them no dude it's

multiple girls doing it they all

know each other and you're on the internet

no but like on date

yeah maybe they have a reddit form

but like they must have a reddit

form on Hinge or whatever on OnlyFans

not OnlyFans on

like dating apps

I'm going to go On Hinge or whatever, on OnlyFans. Not OnlyFans, on dating apps.
I'm so old. Oh, so you think the word is out? Yes, absolutely.
Oh my God. Absolutely.
Josh, Josh, come on. Can we call him? Multiple girls are asking him separately to film sex.
Can we call him? Yeah. Call him.
They won't hear you, Ben, but whatever. I'll relay.
Oh, my God. Well, we're going to know who it is now.
Oh, my God. My dog.
Okay, listen. You're on the podcast right now.
Feel free. I can cut this out.
Do we have permission to record you? Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for this moment. Okay.
Ben, are you hearing this? Yes. Oh gosh.
Okay. But he can't hear me, right? You can't hear Ben.
We don't, we're not that technologically sound yet, but I brought you up in a vague way and Ben has... Put him into your headphones.

What?

Flip one ear around.

Okay, I don't know.

Hold on.

I'm going to try to make it

so that Ben can hear you.

You can hear Ben.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Oh my God.

Jesus Christ.

What the fuck is happening?

Oh my God.

Hold on.

This is a big moment.

Okay. I can't hear anything anymore.
What is happening? No, you're funny. You're funny, Dave.
Okay. I just want, okay.
Ben, talk for a sec. Well, give him context, Josh.
Can you hear him? No, you can't, right? No. Okay.
I'm going to relay. I'm going to relay.
Okay. Okay.
Here we go. All right.
So really quickly, Dave, I told Ben that you have been going out on dates with girls and canoodling with more than one girl who has asked to film you guys hooking up. That's accurate.
That's accurate. Okay.
And I think it's because they are recording it and monetizing the canoodles for their only fans and ben said you're clearly on a message board or like the word is out like this isn't a coincidence oh my god like what like reddit or something he's being hunted you're being hunted dude i'm okay ben you talk and i will repeat okay you are being hunted you're being not normal. Not normal.
You think that you're just so lucky that you just find all these women that want to film having sex with you? You think you're so lucky you just found all these women who want to have sex with you? No. On camera.
I don't know. I think it could be some type of Gen Z revolution and I'm not trying to like corner myself in the age range

i'm dating but like i don't know it's only in the past like two years that it's been happening like it's insane and i'm not even talking about like the second or third day once we get to know each other like first time first time we're hooking up like hey like i've always wanted to So I'm like, yeah, dude, the word's out.

Ben says, yeah, dude dude the word's out Ben says yeah dude the word's out where in which the word would be out like on love line or on reddit I actually had a girl tell me that they looked me up on reddit to see if there was any bad stories so maybe it's in the same message board yeah Yeah, maybe it's old school. Maybe it's on like a

bathroom wall.

Ben, connect the dots from the previous episode about

your mystery story.

Ben, this is nuts, right?

Yeah, sorry.

My TikTok account was just hacked.

Claudia texted me.

Oh, you've been hacked.

I've been hacked. How do I change my password? The only thing is nuts is that when I ask them to send me the video They don't do it They want to send you the video or they I'm like let me get a copy And they're like Here Ben's dealing with his TikTok account Being hacked because people are sick People are sick So I'll let Olivia in on this.
What do you think that these floozies aren't sending in the videos? It's not right that they're not sending you the video. You are in it.
You're participating. You should have access to that footage as well.
It's like a huddle highlight. Like from, you know, like the football players, they have like their tapes from the previous game.
Like you got to watch it again. No, I have no idea why they would be doing that or like what the like where you said it's happening on the first date yeah like not the first date but the first hook up like it'll be the first time we're sexual with each other and they're like want to film and I'm like sure like's a number of issues with it, which is one, if they are doing OnlyFans, it's like, I want residuals.
And two, it's like, that's my property too because I'm 50% of this production. Dave, will you come in in person and we can do this the right way? Because I really think we need to do this the right way and make this a whole segment and maybe bring in some experts.
I love you. Goodbye.
I love you. Okay, now, oh, I'm sorry.
OnlyFans isn't as interesting as your hacked TikTok account. Go, Ben.
I wasn't hacked. I just hung up on my friend.
I just changed my password frantically i wasn't even hacked and i don't even understand i brought claudia texted me she's like ignore maddie my sister respectfully blank you're not being hacked i'm like what hey well that's your what are you nuts wait no wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait

wait

wait

wait

wait I'm like, what? Well, that's your what are you nuts? What are you nuts moment of the week? Wait, no, my sister commented on my last TikTok and somebody wrote back, thanks, heart, for your love and support towards my career, sweetheart. Kindly messaged me privately to chat.
I definitely was hacked. But if they commented on your thing, maybe that like an impersonator in a in one of those accounts that look just like your real account click on it okay it might go to an unverified fake oh that's interesting yeah oh you think i have oh okay all right whatever sorry folks sorry you've made it my god holy crap somebody unhinged Wow, this is an amazing episode, folks.
Sorry. You've made it.
My God. Holy crap.
This one was unhinged.

Wow.

This is an amazing episode, Josh.

This was fantastic.

And we still have What Are You Nuts.

Would you want that to be your What Are You Nuts?

Yeah, that's my What Are You Nuts.

Was I hacked?

Was I not hacked?

I missed all of Kid David.

We're here talking about him having sex on camera.

I'm changing my TikTok account frantically. That's true.
That's nuts. What are you nuts? He'll come in in person.
My yet again, another wonderful thing that I can't wait to just have gripes about with you when you have your beautiful child. Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem.
Kids birthday parties, you pay per head. Kids, when they get to my son's age, five, six, seven,

it's assumed they have siblings.

When you are invited to a children's birthday party,

and it says on the invitation,

we kindly ask you not to bring siblings.

If you bring said sibling,

when on the invitation it says, we kindly ask, leave your little nebbish child at home. Don't go go melon.
Give him some some fruit snacks and leave the little pisser at home. Figure it out.
Or I know what. Oh, here we go.
Oh, Josh is going to get beat up because what if. Well, what are we going to do with the other child? What if we don't have anyone to watch the other child? You drop off the child who's been invited and then you take the little whippersnapper and you sit in the car with them.
How about that? They don't get to enjoy the festivities. They were not invited.
It was said you cannot come. What are you nuts? It's nuts.
It's nuts. It's nuts, no? Of course it is nuts it's like if you know of course it is it's

like if i was invited to a wedding and i decided to bring my sister claudia and my sister's fiance

yes no i was invited this is nuts just because they're all young who knows it's it's still an

inaccurate count for pizza kids are gonna be hungry kids are gonna be hungry okay it's inaccurate

maybe you paid per head for the laser tag or for the charles entertainment cheese or for or or for david busters they run out of tickets scooters if anything you can't just show up if anything josh call ahead say hi i know that it says on the invitation no siblings i would really appreciate it if the sibling could come and And then if you want to be a cocksucker, you can say no. But because they asked you.
No. You're probably going to say yes.
We set precedence. And listen, I'm sorry.
There's no room at Charles Entertainment Cheese for little Aiden. No, too young.
Too young. That's another thing.
Be age appropriate. Okay.
Be age appropriate. This is a six-year-old's birthday party.
Don't throw in your two-year-old randomly. What are they going to do? Listen, my wife and I, we did not specify for my son Max's birthday because we wanted the siblings to come because we've got it like that.
But some don't got it like that. Ben, take us home.
Some don't got it like that. Folks, this is the end of that episode.
Excuse me. Oh my God.
If not five stars. I have to be so bad.
If not five stars. I'll do it quickly.
I'll do it quickly. If not five stars, what are you not listening to us on Apple, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts? Watch our YouTube.
Share our clips. Watch our YouTube shorts.
TikTok and Instagram. Mondays and Thursdays, folks.
We will see you next time. Love you.
Go take a big whiz. Wait, wait.
Are you still recording on your side? Yeah. Yep.
Okay. Are you still recording on this side? Uh-huh.
Okay. Everything's up.
Okay. This will be for a separate episode, but I figure whether we want to air it or not, it'll be fun to have it recorded.
Ben, Paige is pregnant. Ah, yes.
Excellent. Oh, that's so exciting.

Thanks, guys.

How far along are we?

She's been pregnant since October, but we didn't want to say anything because you guys are having your first and we didn't want to take anything away from you guys.

Oh, my God.

That is so exciting.

Thanks.

Thanks, guys.

Oh, my God.

I know.

I could cry.

We're both fathers.

We're so lucky, Ben. So many kids.
So many kids. I can't believe that you kept it.
It is amazing. It is amazing.
And now we need to give page flowers for like a million, a million episodes, but that is, Oh, I don't know. Like she's starting to show.
So we, we've started to really tell people and, uh, you know, again, I just wanted you you to have your moment because having your first is so special and uh i don't know when we'll air this but i thought it'd be fun to just have and we can throw it on an episode whenever we have it then this is a great youtube short oh my god this is the best one now we just have to figure out how to extend it to eight minutes so we can do mid-roll ads Oh my gosh If I have another boy

We're not going to find out the gender because we don't, we don't ever find out. So yeah.
Until a nurse ruins it. Oh my God.
It's definitely going to happen, but it's wild. I'm so happy for you.
I'm so happy for you both. I'm so excited.
Nachas, VH, nachas. Nachas.
I mean, can you believe this? You and I, you know, we're walking with the strollers in tandem down Fifth Avenue. No, it's unbelievable.
We're going to need a bus. I know.
We're going to need a bus. It's great.
I mean, I'm just glad you're giving birth first so I can fly in for the bris.

I love a spread.

Oh, my God.

You haven't eaten until you've been to a good, you know.

And you know I'm putting out a spread.

Oh, man, am I putting out a spread.

Walk us through because I'm down to make this eight minutes.

Walk us through the spread for your child's bris.

Listen, I'm going to have to. BH, BH,H.
My child care for three children. I'm nervous.
This is Josh nervous. God willing, VH, we have a bris.
We have a bris. You're going to walk in.
You're going to walk in. The moil, snip, cry, done.
We're getting to the spread. Done.
During that, though, I'm going to give a wonderful speech. Wonderful speech.
Ooh, what's that a wonderful speech wonderful speech what's that name the baby you're going to hear me talk about his name why we chose it how important family is to us how thankful i am for our friends how thankful i am for this life this baby upbringing etc it'll be wonderful then we're going to move over and we are going to go for the spread okay we are talking first and foremost there will be an omelet station okay you can make your own omelet we're then going to move over there's going to be like some classic hot dishes we'll have like a french toast we'll have a pancake etc but in the middle this is a bagel bar like you've never seen we're talking talking everything. We're even going to throw in the Bialis,

but we're talking plain sesame, poppy, everything,

onion, garlic, Bialis.

Maybe a butter fountain, like the chocolate fountain.

You know, and you just do a quick drive-by.

Yes, a drive-by, butter up your bagel.

We're talking every type of cream cheese you can imagine.

Maybe you do bagel spin art.

Okay, hear me out.

Ooh, ooh.

Throw the bagel on the machine. You're shooting it with cream cheese from every angle i love it i love it and you never and we'll throw in a couple of nice pieces of beautiful lox josh oh god gorgeous we're going grav lox which is lox with dill we're going regular lox we're going past Thinly sliced vegetables.
Every vegetable you can possibly think of. Of course, we're going to have one of those rotating toasters.
Yes. There will be toasted bagels if you want toasted.
None of this hard, cold shit. Okay.
And then we're going to have tuna. We're going to have whitefish.
We're going to have herring. I'm not a herring guy.
Maybe you are. Some sable, some beautiful pickled fish.
No one's a herring guy who's been born after 1970. But the herring will be there in case you want it.
Does it have to be? What grandparent are you supplying the herring for? Just whoever shows up, whoever's there, somebody's going to need a herring. And then we're going to have a gorgeous table of desserts.
We're talking everything from black and white cookies to eclairs. We're doing rainbow cookies.
I demand a rainbow cookie. I love a rainbow cookie.
I demand it. And then, of course, a hot coffee bar, iced coffee.
I like things that are delicious and also show I'm an ally. Yes.
You know? Rainbow cookie. Yes.
Hot coffee, iced coffee bar, both of them, and of course, a fresh-squeezed juice station. Josh, would you like fresh-squeezed orange? Or perhaps you'd like to go something more tropical and try our fresh-squeezed mango juice.
No, fresh-squeezed mango juice? What, are we in the Turks and Caicos? That's right. Yeah, we are.
Yeah, we are. I thought you were going to say fresh grape grapefruit juice which you know could kill me i'm on cholesterol meds but it also imagine oh my god the heartburn from a sip of fresh grapefruit juice i love grapefruit juice you do a 50 50 grapefruit orange split take me away it is just it's delicious my favorite cranberry orange now that's a drink you know you go 80 orange josh 20 cranberry you feel like you're in the bahamas or my healthy soda option which is a club soda with a splash i'll do this i'll do a splash of any juice apple cranberry yeah have you ever had pog juice no what's pog passion fruit orange guava delicious yes oh i'm all in i love that and then maybe next to the juice bar you have a station because it's a jewish event called like the prilosex station the tum station you know yes we're also going to have tattoo removal in case somebody made a mistake.
Yes, sponsored by Deuteronomy. We're going to have a buy-your-own plot table where you can sign your will and pick your stone.
Love it. And of course, we're going to have somebody signing you up for the bank.

My Chase Bank rep will be there.

He's there to sign you up.

I don't get a commission.

Nothing.

Yes.

He's there.

Just in case.

Just in case.

We'll have a raffle for a new Lexus.

Yeah.

This clip has done more bad things for the Jewish race.

It's started off with I'm pregnant and all of a sudden we got to Jews in the banks. There goes our sponsor on this one.
I guess this clip isn't sponsored by AG1. It might be.
It could be. You never know.
Are we at eight minutes? Yeah, I think we are. Anyway, Benjamin, I love you.

I'm so darn happy for you.

And I'm happy for us.

We're very lucky men. I'm so darn happy for you.

This is your moment.

Stop congratulating me.

This is you.

Mazal Tov.

This is our wives moment because they are incredible.

It's no easy task.

And I have three children now.

My life is over.