Our OTHER Dream Jobs

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Speaker 3 We're starting the podcast now, and I think we were just talking about something offline, which I think is a good subject to start on. Cause I would love to hear from you, Ben, what you think.

Speaker 3 What is the kind of job that you could have that would be a low stress job? You didn't have to worry about money.

Speaker 3 It's something that you would do eight hours a day that you could perhaps, like for me, right? Like my two passions are listening to podcasts and getting high. And I just can't do one of them anymore.

Speaker 3 But like, if there was a job that would, and I'm sorry, my other passion is getting in steps. Yes.

Speaker 3 If there was a job that required me to get anywhere from 15 to 30,000 steps a day, I could listen to pods and smoke a blunt. I think I'd be in heaven.

Speaker 1 I think that's my retirement. I don't need to rely on the money, correct? Correct.
The dream job, if you don't need to worry about the money, this is your dream job as well, Josh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The The dream job as a real estate agent. Wow.
That's not where I thought this was going. Okay.
Every single day.

Speaker 1 Every day, every day you're out. You're walking.
You're never at a desk ever. You're meeting new people.
You're showing them beautiful, gorgeous, luxury apartments. You have a corporate card.

Speaker 1 You're getting a free lunch. And if you don't worry about money, you're constantly on the move, looking at nice stuff, meeting nice new people.
That to me is the dream.

Speaker 1 Second would probably be, I'd love cooking. Like if I could cook all day long, I would cook.
So like, I don't know, chefing it up somewhere, but that seems high stress.

Speaker 1 Real estate where you're not worried about the money, zero stress.

Speaker 3 See, I was thinking like janitor, but in a clean place.

Speaker 1 It's not stress-free. Yes, it is.

Speaker 3 First of all, you get left alone. Okay.
I want to be like, like, if I was like, okay, this is perfect. If I'm a janitor at a startup and being paid in stock options, right?

Speaker 3 I'm cleaning up, you know, granola bars and Providial wrappers from these freaking eggheads, these brainiacs. You know, they're not so messy.
I'm sweeping. Hey, Josh.

Speaker 3 Hey, like your black Air Force Ones. Thank you.
You know, I get a chance to wear dickies, you know, work wear.

Speaker 1 You've made a very compelling argument. The dream job is the janitor at Nvidia that was paid in stock.
You're right. You're right.
You're right.

Speaker 1 Because no matter what, the guy's worth at least a couple mil. At least.
At least.

Speaker 1 I read something that there isn't an employee at Nvidia worth less than 25 million.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Either 20 or 25.

Speaker 3 If they've worked there for X amount of years, right?

Speaker 1 Correct. Correct.
That has had their stock options already granted. Yes.
Sick. At least 25 million.
Sick.

Speaker 1 And they're all just like still working there because they have a chance to make their 25 million, 50 million. So cool.
But yeah, being the janitor who like, yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 1 Janitor at Nvidia, I'm down.

Speaker 3 Janitor at Nvidia is our endgame.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's endgame. That's endgame.
Speaking of endgame, Josh, TikTok, are you afraid? You're big on the platform. It's not like me.
I'm thrilled. TikTok can go away.
I never grew. Thrilled?

Speaker 3 We got a couple brand deals in the works for this, for this podcast that are going to be on TikTok.

Speaker 1 Pivot the money to Instagram. It'll be fine.

Speaker 3 Well, Olivia, please

Speaker 3 write Lauren and Michael.

Speaker 1 We need this money. money.
I'm actually not thrilled because I actually love the TikTok algorithm and I love watching like, I don't know, it's like, it does turn my brain to mushroom. But back to you.

Speaker 1 Are you worried?

Speaker 3 So I think here's what's interesting. They were given a year for an incredibly lucrative app worth, Mr.
B says, upwards of $400 million, right?

Speaker 3 To basically sell off their American holdings, make a gang of money, and still own the international rights to TikTok everywhere else in the world.

Speaker 3 So you can make a quick 400 mill, I'm sorry, 400 bill, and then you just get to run the rest of the world, but you say goodbye to your American holdings.

Speaker 3 And in one year, they haven't been able to do that. Yeah.
Which to me makes me believe that it's a spying operation for the CCP.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's actually, it's interesting that you said that, because why wouldn't somebody want to sell off the top? Why not?

Speaker 3 You get the rest of the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and what more do you want? Right. So, they are spying on us,

Speaker 1 yeah. I mean, every app is spying on us to an extent, no, but Josh, this is good, this is good, is it?

Speaker 3 I guess we're never going to Shanghai,

Speaker 1 it's good. No, look, they can welcome us.
I don't mind being spied on. No, I love it, but that's

Speaker 1 the first I have not heard, I have not heard that take, and that makes sense because I've been thinking to myself, I've been hearing these astronomical numbers, like 200 million or 400 million, or four sorry 200 billion or 400 billion like numbers that are it's not conceivable like how you could even begin to try to make that much money as a company that relies on advertisers right like that's how tick tock makes money right tick tock makes money i'm sure by selling data but also by running ads and to think about making 400 million dollars is going to take you 400 billion dollars excuse me is going to take you an incredibly long time by then you'd assume that somebody that's like that's like pretending that tick tock is like end game like tick tock is going to be around for a hundred years it's not like it's just it's just not i don't think so at least i already feel like like instagram's big but like is interim gonna be around forever i have no idea so that's that's very interesting josh that's a hundred percent proof they're spying on us oh i think with like tick tock shop advertising i mean you think about like what's it I think like the monthly GDP of America is like a little bit over a trillion dollars.

Speaker 3 And so if the country of the United States is making anywhere from $12 to $15 trillion and is probably on pace to be at double that over the next couple of years, like it's conceivable that in 10 years you make back that 400 billion and then some.

Speaker 1 I guess it's just

Speaker 1 it just seems like such a big, big number.

Speaker 1 Like in eight years, they grew it from zero to 400 billion. Like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. what more do you want

Speaker 1 what more do you want like what do you want i don't know that's crazy that's crazy and i saw that mr beast i'm sure you think that's just like a campaign that he like wants to buy it and has the billionaires to buy it or do you think he really has the chops oh i think

Speaker 3 i would ever met him by the way have you met him oh yeah i went i went to the beast games premiere in december we've had a couple good talks i i can't say enough good things about jimmy mr Beast, for all you peasants.

Speaker 3 He's a genuine article. He seems like a guy who's as smart as it gets.
He's a prodigy when it comes to this. And he's also incredibly good.
It doesn't seem like he has any skeletons in his closet.

Speaker 3 You know, we had chatted in 2020 because we followed each other and we had a really nice phone call. And then like, I'd see him here and there, but we didn't really talk over the next couple of years.

Speaker 3 but I had a kid a friend reach out to me and say there's this kid he's very very sick with cancer and probably isn't going to make it and is absolutely obsessed with Mr.

Speaker 3 Beast is there anything any way you can connect and you know basically like I'm willing to ruin a relationship for a sick kid like I will ask any favor So I just wrote him right away and I just was like, hey, man, here's the situation.

Speaker 3 Any chance we could get a video for this kid? I mean, within minutes, he sent a beautiful video for the kid. It was so generous of him.
So, you know, Jimmy's an ace in my book.

Speaker 1 Is he going to buy, can he buy TikTok? I think he can do anything.

Speaker 3 Like, think about he could sell his social media rights right now for what? $2 billion?

Speaker 1 $3 billion? A lot. A lot.

Speaker 1 As long as Mr. Beast, as long as Jimmy were to stay on in some capacity.
Right. Absolutely.
Absolutely. But the thing about Jimmy is that, and I love that I'm now calling him Jimmy.
Welcome.

Speaker 1 The thing, the thing about Jimmy, the thing about Jimmy is that his entire platform is reliant on him.

Speaker 1 That if you lose Mr. Beast, then you lose, I think, just the allure of his platform.
He could do it for other people, but they're creator dependent. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He could probably sell for 2 billion as long as Jimmy was still hawking it. But then why would Jimmy want to sell if he can keep hawking it and make, I can't even imagine how much money he makes.

Speaker 3 And he's doing it in North Carolina, baby.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's killing it.

Speaker 1 He's killing it.

Speaker 3 That is where you want to be crushing it. I mean, he basically owns the state.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

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Speaker 4 This is Gracie Norton from the Wellness Hurricane Podcast, the ultimate sanctuary for a welcoming approach to wellness.

Speaker 4 It seems like every day there's a new food we're not supposed to eat, a new cleanse to take part in, or a new workout that claims to give us a flat stomach within a week.

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Speaker 1 I do, the only reason I want TikTok to go away is because TikTok has made. So many people feel that they are famous that aren't.

Speaker 1 And I'm sorry, it's just like, it creates this like sense of entitlement. Like, I don't know if you've ever met like a TikToker with 50,000 followers like myself

Speaker 1 that will come up to you and be like,

Speaker 1 I can't believe the way that they treated me. Like, are you out of your fucking mind? Like, are you, are you okay? Yeah, I've met these people.
I think they mostly live, they mostly exist in New York.

Speaker 1 Like, New York is like a breathing ground for like the fashion fluid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, breeding, breeding, breeding.

Speaker 1 God damn it.

Speaker 1 No, he hasn't. He has his radars up.
Man, you're wrong. You're wrong.
Breeding ground for these freaking fashion. You're resentful.

Speaker 3 You have resentment against me, huh?

Speaker 1 No. Where is this coming from? Don't go soft with your voice.
There's no resentment.

Speaker 1 There's no resentment. There's no...

Speaker 3 Really, Olivia, what just happened?

Speaker 1 Are we all seen lits? I mean,

Speaker 5 he's preparing himself.

Speaker 3 Don't pee up my leg and tell me it's raining.

Speaker 1 There's nothing going on. Nothing at all.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. I feel you here with the Maharishi all of a sudden.

Speaker 1 These lifestyle influencers in New York. I didn't know I got Zen Ben.

Speaker 1 With their 100,000 followers being like, I'm a celebrity.

Speaker 1 You're not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you need to know it.

Speaker 1 You didn't have to earn it, Josh, on TikTok. You had to earn it everywhere else.
Like, regardless of celebrity, do you think that's true? I do.

Speaker 1 Maybe it was just like our arc, but like, I did this for like literally a decade. These kids did it for like a May in COVID.
Like

Speaker 1 and just like have grasped onto that. And it's so great that they've turned 15 seconds into a career, I guess.
But like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I think that like working hard for it and like having to really try versus just going viral. I just feel like TikTok's virality is just so, so different from any platform that we've seen.

Speaker 1 But it's also like, I don't know.

Speaker 3 I think it's social media in general. I think it's the way America reacts to things.
I was listening to this British comedian the other day and he's like, you know, you Americans have Haktua.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we do.

Speaker 3 Which was a girl who became famous for the way in which she would go down on someone, right?

Speaker 1 Spit on that thing.

Speaker 3 Spit on it.

Speaker 1 Why don't you?

Speaker 1 Spit on that thing.

Speaker 3 He said, in the UK, he's like, we probably, the camera person would have said, oh, darling,

Speaker 3 let's, we're not going to air that. Like, because of how that's going to change your life.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 3 but we in America said, we're going to air that because of how it's going to change your life.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 yeah, totally.

Speaker 3 Because we grasp onto these things. And so it's a cultural thing, too.

Speaker 1 Like, we love virality.

Speaker 3 We love a one-hit wonder. We want to throw stones at the one-hit wonder and make them prove themselves that they're ever going to be more than just this one thing.

Speaker 1 You're right, but we love them. We love putting them on a pedestal just to tear them down.

Speaker 3 100%.

Speaker 1 Your 15 minutes are over. We love that.
You're so right. God damn it.
We're the worst.

Speaker 3 Bill Murray has a famous quote of people want to be rich and famous, but why don't you try being rich first and see if that doesn't solve 90% of your issues?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's funny, like the only people, it doesn't always, like, you'll see these, I'm not going to like call it like a Jeff Bezos, but like people who are really rich that really want to be famous.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, like, sometimes it doesn't solve it.
I'd say that for 99% of Americans being rich would solve it.

Speaker 3 It's amazing to see the transformation that Bezos, Zuckerberg, and like, shout out to Zuckerberg too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 He did the commencement speech at Harvard when they were still allowing Jews there. And he quoted the Misha Barak in his

Speaker 3 commentary speech.

Speaker 3 BH, BH, BH.

Speaker 1 Thank God.

Speaker 3 What a Jewish forward podcast this is.

Speaker 1 When you see me in the streets, good guys, listeners, as non-Jewish as you are, next time I see you, I want you to say B-H. Just say B-H.

Speaker 3 B-H. I like that.

Speaker 1 Say B-H. That's it.
B-H.

Speaker 3 Maybe we sign off every episode with, you know,

Speaker 3 we will see you you next time. BH.

Speaker 1 We will see you next time. BH.

Speaker 1 We will see you next time.

Speaker 3 Has Vishalam.

Speaker 1 We will see you next time, of course, unless we get run over by a car. We will see you next time, God willing, to too.

Speaker 1 Oh my god. It all comes back to Hakatua.

Speaker 3 Hakatua. Should we get to some stories?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 Amazing. I'm excited.
Well, the first one is Kim Kardashian gifts pal Tracy Romulus $100,000 cyber truck for her birthday. Are you effing nuts?

Speaker 3 No one does a lavish and over-the-top birthday gift like Kim Kardashian. The billionaire TV personality gifted her best friend Tracy a $100,000 Tesla cybertruck.

Speaker 1 truck look outside Kardashian said to Romulus in a clip shared to Romulus's Instagram story are you effing nuts I think that's cool I think it's super cool like I watched oh we haven't spoken about this and we should spoke speak about it I watched Dobrik's new vlog just to see you and he gave away like 15 Teslas or something to all of the Dobrik's employees so cool honestly there's nothing cooler than giving somebody a car

Speaker 1 i would watch somebody give somebody a car

Speaker 1 every single day if I could. It's so cool.
And it's Kim's best friend. And Kim has so much money.
The 100 grand is like me getting you a $5 gift card to Starbucks.

Speaker 1 And that's like so awesome.

Speaker 3 So we all know you're going to get points with that gift card. And if you didn't know, on the app, a gift card gets double points, two for one.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you preloading?

Speaker 3 Are you preloading your Starbucks app with money?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 Good. Two stars.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Okay.
I am preloading every time I'm preloading.

Speaker 3 You get a gold star from Joshi for that.

Speaker 1 Okay, good. Yes.
I'm preloading. Yeah, I'm all in.
I'm all in. That's it.
I'm all out on the Cybertruck. It's ugly.

Speaker 1 It's ugly.

Speaker 1 I don't like it. I don't like it.
It ain't it. It ain't it.

Speaker 1 And like, where are you supposed to, you're telling me that you're going to feel comfortable driving that thing around, stopping to plug it in and not get robbed. It's like, I just, I can't.
Why?

Speaker 3 You think just because people immediately know you're wealthy if you're driving?

Speaker 1 I would at least feel that way driving it. Like I would never feel comfortable driving a Lamborghini and

Speaker 1 having to sit for an hour while it get filled. I get it.
For the two minutes. You got people around you, no problem.

Speaker 1 But if you've charged these electric cars, you could be by yourself for an hour, if not more, charging these things. And I would just be afraid that somebody would jump me.

Speaker 3 It's a statement.

Speaker 1 It's a statement. It's a statement.

Speaker 3 Well, speaking of, male stripper reveals crazy cheating trend for brides. Every single one.

Speaker 3 A male stripper has revealed that working in the industry has taught him that women are just as likely to cheat as men.

Speaker 3 Nate Wild has witnessed Aussie dating cheating culture up close and personal from

Speaker 3 working numerous bachelorette parties. I was once doing a party where I traveled interstate, and every single one of the girls in the bachelorette party cheated on their partners.

Speaker 3 It was so crazy, and they all made a pact that they would never talk about it again.

Speaker 1 Wow, whoa,

Speaker 1 that's fucked up.

Speaker 3 He said, one out of every ten parties he works at, some kind of cheating occurs.

Speaker 1 Ladies, come on,

Speaker 1 come on, ladies,

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 3 Get out of your system.

Speaker 1 I think it's an abhorrent. No good.
No good. That said, what is this guy doing? Isn't there some kind of client

Speaker 1 confidentiality? Nothing with a stripper?

Speaker 3 Let me ask you, Olivia, do you have any opinions on this?

Speaker 5 In my circles, I don't have like really any close friends that have cheated on their partners. So I can't like speak to seeing it in the wild.
But I think that's like a really sad realization.

Speaker 5 But also like everybody can be an asshole, I guess, is my takeaway from that.

Speaker 1 Title.

Speaker 3 I went to the Magic Mic show in Las Vegas. I don't mean a brag, which is like, you know, a Chippendales type thunder from down under type thing.
Excellent show. What an experience.

Speaker 3 And I was there with my wife and my good friend William and Mannon and it was great. It was fun.

Speaker 1 But these ladies, my my God,

Speaker 3 they were wild.

Speaker 3 I mean, you go to, you go to a strip club for men, a gentleman's club, men are so subdued because men are naturally such animals that they know that the moment they get out of line, like a gigantic bouncer is going to be throwing them out on their face.

Speaker 3 But that was not the case at Magic Mike.

Speaker 1 No, no. At those things, it is these these ladies are nuts.
Nuts. Totally nuts.

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Speaker 1 I just saw a movie, Josh. Anora.

Speaker 3 I think Claudia didn't like it. I absolutely loved it.
I thought it was fantastic.

Speaker 1 First of all, this was a great production. Okay.
You don't need to go to a strip club. You have a strip club right in front of you on TV.

Speaker 3 Amazing. Just saying.

Speaker 3 She, the lead, is an incredible actor.

Speaker 1 She, Mikey, was an amazing actress. Amazing.
She did such a great job in the role. I only thought the movie was about 20 minutes long, but I liked it a lot.
I thought it was really good.

Speaker 1 Like, I think Claudia also liked it. Like, we, we had no issues with it at all.

Speaker 3 We watched two.

Speaker 1 I've watched two current movies, Josh. I watched Honora and I watched The Substance.
Now, Josh,

Speaker 1 this movie, this movie is fucked up.

Speaker 3 I haven't seen yet. I want to see.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. And I'm not like, the way that Olivia doesn't do spicy foods, I don't do, I don't do spicy viewing.
I don't do horror movies. I don't do.
Oh, really? I love them.

Speaker 1 No, I don't like anything that could give me nightmares. I'm just like a nightmare prone, like, whatever.
I thank God I didn't get nightmares from the substance. This is a crazy fucking movie.
Crazy.

Speaker 1 All that I will say, though, the reason I thought of both of them, lots of tits in both. What's going on here?

Speaker 1 I feel like there's, in all of the newer movies that I've seen, there's a ton of breasts all over. I never remembered seeing so many breasts.
Like, they're everywhere.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I got two words for you, brother. Biden out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, the breasts are everywhere.
They're all over.

Speaker 1 They're all over.

Speaker 3 I got two more words for you, brother.

Speaker 1 Trump in.

Speaker 1 Okay, brother.

Speaker 3 I got three words for you.

Speaker 1 Boops are lit.

Speaker 1 You have to see the substance. It's a crazy, it's, it's crazy.
And for those of you that don't know, it's, it's a just crazy story of an aging actress who is able to inject herself to become young.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 And oh, does it go terribly wrong? Oh, my.

Speaker 1 It would be interesting if you were like, and it all worked out.

Speaker 1 She was perfect.

Speaker 3 I have been so wonderfully surprised with how good the movies have been. I've watched a couple.
I watched A Real Pain, the Jesse Eisenberg movie. You must see it.
You'll love it.

Speaker 3 Him and Kieran Culkin. What a director.
What a writer. Jesse Eisenberg is.

Speaker 1 Why can't I rent it, Josh? Why can't I rent it? I think I can't on the TV. No, it was $19.99.
No rent option. I had to buy.

Speaker 3 Well, in that case, it's as though

Speaker 3 when it's at that price point,

Speaker 3 they're saying, okay, we're going to make it easy for you not to go to the theater, but you're going to have to pay a theater price. So just buy it.

Speaker 1 Okay, fine. I'll just buy it.
It's fine. But that was why we, yeah, fine.
Continue.

Speaker 3 Anora, I thought, was fabulous. Conclave is my favorite movie.

Speaker 3 Stanley Tucci, Ray Fines, about the, it's about a, a conclave, which is when the cardinals are sequestered when they have to pick a new pope which is so interesting because like it's basically a hidden process you don't understand that it's they're just electing a president they're electing the president of the catholic church and it's exactly how it is here like one guy's like i'm gonna be more liberal one guy's i'm gonna be more old school conservative and them figuring out like who are we gonna go with i think it's just because my brain is broken but we started conclave needed to shut it off because when i hear electing a new pope i think of euro trip and i shut it off like what do you know what I'm talking?

Speaker 1 Because I knew that movie. It's just like the iconic scene where like they've elected the new pope.
And

Speaker 1 I'm just thinking the whole time about a comedy movie and I see Stanley Tucci and I'm thinking about him cooking and I couldn't do it. Really?

Speaker 1 I know. Maybe I'll give it, I'll give it a chance.
I'll go back into like a better mindset.

Speaker 1 But like I was just thinking of things that did not pertain to the movie as I was watching the first seven minutes of it. Oh, and then we started.
So

Speaker 1 it's a little bit more. Okay, all right.
So So we'll give it another chance. We'll give it another chance.

Speaker 3 And then I'm currently watching The Room Next Door with Tilda Swinton and Julianne Moore. Fabulous.

Speaker 3 And I obviously I want to see the brutalist because Adrian Brody is the man and I'm down for three and a half hours Holocaust anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I also want to see the brutalist. Three and a half hours got me.
I'm not going to lie. Like I needed to,

Speaker 1 it's, I need to be in a real mindset to watch a three and a half hour movie, but I would love to. It's on my list.
And I too have been impressed and I'm happy that they are making original movies.

Speaker 1 I feel like there was a time period where nobody was making anything original. They were just remaking stuff, remaking stuff and pulling from stories.

Speaker 1 And now I feel like they're a bunch of original movies that are good.

Speaker 3 I was thinking about this too, isn't in that, and this is why I want you to get a walking pad because I'm watching all these movies on my iPad. Like I set up the treadmill, I throw it at night.

Speaker 3 Usually, like Paige usually wants to watch something for like an hour and then we'll get in in bed together or not.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 3 but from eight to nine, I'll go on the treadmill and I'll watch one of the screeners that I have. And I've been watching these movies, which are my kind of movies.
I love them.

Speaker 3 I'm not a big Marvel, you know, Barbie, wicked type moviegoer, but I've really forgot that you get screeners.

Speaker 1 You're over here telling me to pay $19.99. You didn't pay $19.99 to watch the Jetsy Eisenberg.

Speaker 1 Support my industry. That's easy for you to say.
You wouldn't pay $19.99.

Speaker 1 No, you wouldn't. You'd wait for it to be rentable.

Speaker 3 I want to get to a speakpipe really quick because we just got a bunch of good ones.

Speaker 1 Oh, good. Okay.

Speaker 3 If you want to ask me, will you tell the people while I look up the speakpipes, where do they go if they want to leave us a message?

Speaker 1 Go to speakpipe.com slash good guys

Speaker 1 and you can leave us some moron mail.

Speaker 1 You leave us a good high if you're really lame brevity is key simply because look it's awkward like you don't want to hear yourself rambling on with your smoker's cough okay quick quick and good and if you have to make something up no problem just make sure it's good josh totally agree here's one from i don't know

Speaker 1 josh and ben fellow moron here love you guys let me keep this quick wait do we already hear this yeah because she said my fellow morons that's how i knew and by the way i just want to i just want to reiterate like you're the morons we're not like yeah we're smart

Speaker 3 no we're all morons next one from i don't know

Speaker 6 hey good guys i am little baxway i lived by myself for a year before he moved in with me to the state that i live in And so obviously I had like my own like electricity account with like the electricity provider.

Speaker 6 Same thing with gas, like everything.

Speaker 6 so naturally when we moved into our next couple apartments together I have continued to just keep the bills in my name and like manage the bills for us and if you if any of my friends like heard me say that I am the most like financially irresponsible person ever but somehow I've been tasked with this and it's coming up on four years now how do I subtly be like this is so much pressure like I get anxiety thinking about paying these bills bills.

Speaker 6 Like, obviously, we split them. He then mows me.
But I'm just, like, not financially responsible enough to be responsible for the bills for the rest of our life.

Speaker 6 So, yeah, any advice on telling him to, like, man up and take over the bill pain would be great.

Speaker 1 Thanks.

Speaker 3 Put it on autopay, you gendering nerd.

Speaker 1 Totally. It's so easy.
But before we get to, like, the really dumb question.

Speaker 1 I've noticed, Josh, a lot of people have been leaving a speakpipe saying that their boyfriend or girlfriend has moved from a different state to come live with them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is, this seems to be a new phenomenon. People are moving.

Speaker 1 I guess they're meeting. I don't know where they're meeting, that they're then

Speaker 1 long distance and moving, but a lot of people are moving and moving for somebody else. All I got to say is, I hope you know what you're doing.
Moving, moving is big.

Speaker 1 Changing your state for a lover, that's big time. A lover.

Speaker 1 That's big time. Yes.

Speaker 1 Onto the bill pay. Onto the bill pay.
Like, what are you nuts? Put it on autopay. It's exactly right.
Or just say to him, hey, I don't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 1 You mind just like taking over communications? And he'd say, sure.

Speaker 3 And also just don't Venmo your spouse.

Speaker 1 That's certainly strange.

Speaker 3 No, it's not when you're just dating, but I mean.

Speaker 1 No, they've been living together for three years. What do you mean? This is weird.
Like, have some type of like joint just for utilities or just pick it up and then he picks up everything else. Right.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know. That's weird to me.

Speaker 3 And have you seen, and I think also you're, if it's been four years, you're good at it. Give yourself some credit.
You're getting it done.

Speaker 1 I was thinking the same thing. She has imposter syndrome.
She's stuck in an old version of herself where she couldn't manage these things. You've been doing it.
Yes. You're a savant.

Speaker 3 You're not at Vassar anymore. You're not out, you know, having Greek life at at Vassar.

Speaker 1 You're not at Vassar anymore. You grew up.

Speaker 1 You've left Vassar in the rear view.

Speaker 3 You're not taking medieval poetry at Vassar.

Speaker 1 You're a grown-up. No,

Speaker 1 you've moved on from Vassar. You now, you can do this.

Speaker 3 I love that Vassar is our new thing.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.

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Speaker 1 Here's here's another one.

Speaker 6 Hey, good guys, it's Amber from Connecticut, non-Jewish moron here, and I just had a question about brises. So, this was kind of brought up on this host a couple episodes back, and it got me thinking.

Speaker 6 So, how exactly does that work at home? Do you you guys have a way to keep everything sterile or to keep the babies comfortable, to get them numb?

Speaker 6 Or is it just kind of like a wing it type of thing? And how did they even start in the first place?

Speaker 1 It's certainly not a wing it. Let's start there.
It's not a wing it. Anybody in the room have scissors?

Speaker 1 No. I'll give you this skinny.
The person who does it is called a moyal. Okay.
The moil is the person who is trained.

Speaker 1 The person who does it is called a pedophile.

Speaker 1 The person who does it is called a moyal. It's definitely a strange profession.

Speaker 1 They are trained. They have their scissors.

Speaker 3 They have a stop and a scalpel.

Speaker 1 They have a scalpel. A scalpel, yes.
Sorry, scalpel and scissors. I mean, it's one, it's the same family.

Speaker 3 Scissors sounds like something you have in your junk drawer.

Speaker 3 Like they have a sterilized medical medical scalpel.

Speaker 1 It's the equivalent of having it done in the hospital, except with the meds are wine.

Speaker 1 That's the problem. The meds are wine.
That part to me, I, again, B-H-B-H, having a boy, that part really does scare me. Like, I feel terrible.
I did it, though. I'm fine.
Josh did it, though.

Speaker 1 He's fine. It is.
It is what it is. Why did we start doing it? Because it's impossible to clean under there.
You have to be very careful.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, somebody's dick probably fell off and then he told somebody else and they were like we got to get rid of this hood otherwise we're going to have problems and so that's why we do it and we're steeped in tradition so once we hear something happens to one person we all latch on we all do it the moil does it wine goes in the baby's mouth on like a little ideally it's a cloth that sucks up some wine so the baby can suck on the wine and not feel pain.

Speaker 1 But I have been to Briss's Josh where they'll put the pacifier in wine and put it into the baby's mouth. I'm thinking to myself, what are you nuts? Once they suck, it's gone.

Speaker 1 The pacifier doesn't suck up the wine. It's plastic.

Speaker 3 I don't know if the West Coast is different, but my friend Len, when I went to his son's bris, the Moyle just used sugar water, which, as you know, you're not supposed to give baby sugar within the first year, and especially at eight days old, that sugar water makes them nice and loopy.

Speaker 3 So it's just sugar water, gets them nice and loopy. It's usually the father-in-law who's holding it.

Speaker 1 Yes, the father-in-law is holding the baby.

Speaker 3 Look, we had the doctor, my wife's OB, do my son's Briss, and at the hospital, and she was trained by a mile. It's what they do.
They do three a day. They make money, money, money, money, money.

Speaker 3 And sometimes they stay for the party after and eat a little something. Kind of sounds like, let me tell you, this mile in LA, there's like three of them, and they all drive Lexuses.

Speaker 1 Nice. They crush.
No, they crush.

Speaker 1 For sure. Because you're not not price sensitive when it comes to surgery on the schmeck of your, of your prints.
Yeah. There's no price sensitivity.
Ask how much it is.

Speaker 1 They tell you, you say, okay, that's it. It's, yeah, yes.
But I will say now, but the whole thing gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Speaker 3 Yeah, dude, I'll prepare you. They're hard.
Because I remember my wife gave birth at like eight o'clock at night on a Saturday night. And then Sunday morning, the doctor came and was like, okay,

Speaker 3 let's go do it. And growing up Jewish my whole life, I didn't have any issue with it.
But I remember when the doctor showed up and I picked on my son, I thought, this is fucking barbaric.

Speaker 1 This is nuts. This is nuts.

Speaker 3 And she's like, I can just, she's like, I know this is hard. I can just take him back.
I'm like, no, no. I'm like, I'll be there.

Speaker 3 And I, they don't let you in the procedure room, but you sit right outside of it. And yeah, it's rough.
It's, and it was rough to see my buddy Len and his son, but it's hard. It's hard.
It's not,

Speaker 3 necessary anymore. But to your point, we do it out of tradition.
And what I will give the Jews is that if you're going to do it, make a ceremony out of it.

Speaker 3 Like make it meaningful in some spiritual way.

Speaker 1 It's very, very meaningful. Very.
Like it's,

Speaker 1 yeah, steeped in tradition. That's what we are.

Speaker 1 Steeped. We have another.

Speaker 1 We have another speak pipe.

Speaker 3 Next one from, I don't know.

Speaker 6 Hi, good guys. This is Paige from Texas.
Josh, your wife has an amazing name, but it is my first time being pregnant.

Speaker 6 My husband and I are so excited, but I have a what are you nuts that I think a lot of people can relate to.

Speaker 6 Anytime I tell somebody I'm pregnant, they ask me how it's going, how I'm feeling, are we excited?

Speaker 6 Which I always come back with, we're so excited, we're so happy, we feel so lucky and blessed, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 6 And it's like an itch that everyone has to scratch where they instantly tell you you how horrible it is to be a parent and to have kids and how it ruins your life and your body and all these things.

Speaker 6 And I, I, I'm just over it. I mean, why do you have to yuck my yum? Grow up.
I mean, what are you nuts? Like, come on.

Speaker 1 You're in the wrong circle. I'm so sorry to say.
I'm so sorry to say it. Nobody should be yucking your yum ever.
Especially when it comes to having children and being pregnant.

Speaker 1 Like, I can only speak from experience, like, at least in my friends, my family, my community, et cetera.

Speaker 1 All that I, not one time have I not heard that having children isn't the best thing you'll ever do.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's just me, but every single person around me with kids has said that it was the single greatest decision that they ever made, and it is the greatest gift.

Speaker 1 That's not saying that it's not unbelievably difficult and doesn't absolutely change your life, but You don't need somebody to tell you that. Like, I,

Speaker 1 Josh, have you felt experienced something different?

Speaker 3 I, I couldn't agree with you more I have experienced what she's talking about I'm surprised that you haven't we're just I haven't oh my gosh people get off on this fear porn of like totally spooking new parents which I am not a fan of I don't agree at all and I have one piece of unsolicited advice to all parents and then I have two extra pieces of advice to fathers when asked which is my go-to three things which I will give to you on the pod if you would like to hear them okay so my first piece of advice is it's just going to be great.

Speaker 3 Advice number one to a new parent, it's just going to be great.

Speaker 3 And any minor inconvenience, which will certainly come up like sleep deprivation, like these things that we know happen, will be so overshadowed by how great it's going to be.

Speaker 3 Father to father, number two. I know people are listening.

Speaker 1 We're going to have a real moment here.

Speaker 3 Number two is

Speaker 3 every illness childhood illness cold cough rash that's typical that all kids go through when you google the symptoms they are also the symptoms for the worst cancers and diseases you have ever seen they don't have those they just have a cough they just have a rash I know there's all the god forbids, but 99% chance they don't have any of that.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 but when you google, you're going to be confronted with a lot of scary shit. And it's probably just a cough and they're probably fine.
Yes.

Speaker 3 And my third and final piece is if you think your wife isn't going through postpartum, she is. And if you think it's over, it's not.

Speaker 3 And I say that with love and respect to the Herculean tasks that women go through in having a baby.

Speaker 3 And that it will require you to have patience and give your wonderful spouse grace in this moment for maybe longer than than you were expecting or think it should take.

Speaker 3 But I just think it can take, you know, a year or so after the kid's born for everything to kind of find its, it's, it's balance again.

Speaker 3 And I think it's, it's a good thing to be reminded of because nine months after the baby's born, you could be like, I'm pretty sure my wife doesn't like me anymore.

Speaker 1 And it's not you.

Speaker 3 It's just a lot. And just have some grace and some patience and care and love.

Speaker 1 That was beautiful.

Speaker 3 Is that all right? Is that okay for me to say, Olivia? That was

Speaker 1 amazing. Okay, that was beautiful.
That was beautiful. So, what are you nuts? Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 1 What are you nuts? People, places, and things, gripes with humanity make you say, what are you nuts? Rip jeans in the winter, folks. They're nuts.

Speaker 1 You're wearing a winter coat. You're wearing a beanie.
You're wearing gloves. It's 21 degrees.
You're having your knees completely cut out and exposed. It's nuts.
It's totally freaking nuts.

Speaker 3 It's nuts. And any ripped jeans, if you're over 40, rethink.
Unless you're from the Eastern Bloc. I'm talking Yugoslavia.
I'm talking Estonia. On TikTok, please, gosh, not RIP TikTok.

Speaker 3 I hope it's still around. On TikTok, you'll see these lovely spouses making their partners, usually women making for their husbands who have like night jobs or whatever, lunches to take to work.

Speaker 3 I'm going to make my hubby lunch.

Speaker 3 And they'll be like, and in their lunch, I've included two sandwiches, three energy drinks, two gator eights two pretzels a granola bar 18 protein bars and a small bag of gummy worms what are you nuts all of these husbands do not need this much food it's sick it's like it looks like a costco haul they're giving them like small backpacks like it's his lunch bag i'm like honey it's a duffel okay get over it what are you nuts

Speaker 1 Nuts.

Speaker 1 You know what else is nuts, Josh? If you don't give this podcast five stars, that's what's nuts. What are you, nuts? Listen to us on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcast.
Watch us on YouTube.

Speaker 1 Watch our clips. They're great.
They're short. They're fun.
They're vivacious. They're fantastic.
Okay. Share our clips on Instagram.
Follow us on Instagram.

Speaker 1 Share our clips on TikTok if TikTok is still available. And follow us on TikTok if TikTok is still available.
Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.

Speaker 2 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Speaker 2 Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.