Our OTHER Dream Jobs

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The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject, too small for the good guys.
The following podcast is a Dear Media production. What are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.

They're not the great guys.

We're just so good, good, good, good guys.

We're starting the podcast now, and I think we were just talking about something offline,

which I think is a good subject to start on, because I would love to hear from you, Ben,

what you think.

What is the kind of job that you could have that would be a low-stress job? You didn't have to worry about money. It's something that you would do eight hours a day that you could perhaps like for me, right? Like my two passions are listening to podcasts and getting high.
And I just can't do one of them anymore. But like if there was a job that would and I'm sorry, my other passion is getting in steps.
there was a job that would, and I'm sorry, my other passion is getting in steps. Yes.
There was a job that required me to get anywhere from 15 to 30,000 steps a day. I could listen to pods and smoke a blunt.
I think I'd be in heaven. I think that's my retirement.
I don't need to rely on the money. Correct? Correct.
The dream job. If you don't need to worry about the money, this is your dream job as well, Josh.
Yeah. The dream job as a real estate agent.
Wow. Not where I thought this was going.
Okay. Every day, every day you're out, you're walking, you're never at a desk ever.
You're meeting new people. You're showing them beautiful, gorgeous luxury apartments.
You have a corporate card, you're getting a free lunch. And if you don't worry about money, you're constantly on the move, looking at nice stuff, meeting nice new people.
That to me is the dream. Second would probably be, I'd love cooking.
Like if I could cook all day long, I would cook. So like, I don't know, chefing it up somewhere, but that seems high stress.
Real estate where you're not worried about the money, zero stress. See, I was thinking like janitor, but in a clean place.
That's not stress-free. Yes, it is.
First of all, you get left alone, okay? I want to be like, if I was like, okay, this is perfect. If I'm a janitor at a startup and being paid in stock options, right? I'm cleaning up, you know, granola bars and provigil wrappers from these freaking eggheads, these brainiacs.
You know, they're not so messy. I'm sweeping.
Hey, Josh. Hey, like your black Air Force Ones.
Thank you. You know, I get a chance to wear Dickies, you work wear and you've made a very compelling argument the dream job is the janitor at nvidia that was paid in stock you're right you're right you're right because no matter what the guy's worth at least a couple mil at least at least i read something that there isn't an employee at nvidia worth less than 25 million i was it 25 yeah either 20 or 25 if they've worked there for x amount of years right correct correct that that has had their stock options already granted yes at least 25 million sick and they're all just like still working there because they have a chance to make their 25

million, 50 million.

So cool.

But yeah, being the janitor who like, yeah, that's nice.

Janitor at Nvidia.

I'm down.

Janitor at Nvidia is our end game.

Yeah, that's end game.

That's end game.

Speaking of end game, Josh.

Yes.

Are you afraid?

You're big on the platform.

It's not like me.

I'm thrilled.

TikTok can go away.

I never grew. Thrilled.
We got a of brand deals in the works for this, for this podcast that are going to be on TikTok. We'll pivot the money to Instagram.
It'll be fine. Well, Olivia, please write Lauren and Michael.
We need this money. I'm actually not thrilled because I actually love the TikTok algorithm and I love watching like, I don't know.
It's like it does turn my brain to Michelle. But back to you.
Are you worried? So I think here's what's interesting. They were given a year for an incredibly lucrative app worth, Mr.
B says, upwards of $400 million, right? To basically sell off their American holdings, make a gang of money and still own the international rights to TikTok everywhere else in the world. So you can make a quick 400 mil, I'm sorry, 400 bill.
And then you just get to run the rest of the world, but you say goodbye to your American holdings. And in one year they haven't been able to do that.
Yeah. Which to me makes me believe that it's a spying operation for the CCP.
Yeah. It's interesting that you said that because why wouldn't somebody want to sell at the top? Why not? You get the rest of the world.
And what more do you want? Right. So they are spying on us.
Yeah. I mean, every app is spying on us to an extent.
No, is good this is good is it i guess we're never going to shanghai it's good no look they can welcome us i don't mind being spied on no i love it that's the first i have not heard i have not heard that take and that makes sense because i've been thinking to myself i've been hearing these astronomical numbers, like 200 million or 400 million or sorry, 200 billion or 400 billion, like numbers that are, it's not conceivable, like how you could even begin to try to make that much money as a company that relies on advertisers, right? Like that's how TikTok makes money. TikTok makes money, I'm sure by selling data, but also by running ads.
And to think about making $400 million is going to take you, $400 billion, excuse me, is going to take you an incredibly long time. By then, you'd assume that somebody, that's like, it's like pretending that TikTok is like end game, like TikTok is going to be around for a hundred years.
It's not like it's, it's just not, I don't think so. At least I already feel like, like Instagram's big, but like, is Instagram going to be around forever? I have no idea.
So that's, that's very interesting, Josh. That's a hundred percent proof.
They're spying on us. Oh, I think with like TikTok shop advertising, I mean, you think about like, what's the, I think like thep of america is like a little bit over a trillion dollars and so if the country of the united states is making anywhere from 12 to 15 trillion dollars and is probably on pace to be a double that over the next couple years like it's conceivable that in 10 years you make back that 400 billion and then some.
I guess it's just it just seems like such a big, big number. Like in eight years, they grew it from zero to 400 billion.
Like, I don't know. What more do you want? What more do you want? Like, what do you want? I don't know.
That's crazy.'s crazy and i saw that mr beast i'm sure do you think that's just like a campaign that he like wants to buy it and has the billionaires to buy it or you think he really has the chops oh i think i would have met him by the way have you met him oh yeah i went i went to the beast games premiere in december we've had a couple good talks. I can't say enough good things about Jimmy, Mr.
Beast, for all you peasants. He's a genuine article.
He seems like a guy who's as smart as it gets. He's a prodigy when it comes to this.
And he's also incredibly good. It doesn't seem like he has any skeletons in his closet you know we had chatted in in 2020 because we followed each other we had a really nice phone call and then like i'd see him here and there but we didn't really talk over the next couple years but i had a kid a friend reach out to me and say there's.
He's very, very sick with cancer and probably isn't going to make it and is absolutely obsessed with Mr. Beast.
Is there anything, any way you can connect? And, you know, basically, like I'm willing to ruin a relationship for a sick kid. Like I will ask any favor.
So I just wrote him right away and I just was like, hey, man, here's's the situation any chance we could get a video for this kid i mean within minutes he sent a beautiful video for the kid it was so generous of him so you know jimmy's a an ace in my book is he gonna buy can he buy tiktok i think he can do anything like think about he could sell his social media rights right now for what two billion three billion a lot a lot as long as as long as mr beast as long as jimmy were to stay on in some capacity right absolutely absolutely but the thing about jimmy is that and i love that i'm now calling him jimmy welcome the deserve it. The thing about Jimmy is that his entire platform is reliant on him.
That if you lose Mr. Beast, then you lose, I think, just the allure of his platform.
He could do it for other people, but they're creator dependent. So yeah, he could probably sell it for 2 billion as long as Jimmy was still hocking it.
But then why would Jimmy want to sell if he can keep hocking it and make? I can't even imagine how much money he makes. And he's doing it in North Carolina, baby.
Yeah, he's killing it. I mean, that is where you want to be crushing it.
I mean, he basically owns the state. It's crazy.
This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Hero Bread. Folks, new year, new us, right? Yeah, we're going to do our best.
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This is Gracie Norton from the Wellness Herway podcast, the ultimate sanctuary for a welcoming approach to wellness. It seems like every day there's a new food we're not supposed to eat, a new cleanse to take part in, or a new workout that claims to give us a flat stomach within a week.

Rather than hopping on trends, we're going back to the roots of wellness and making a home of our body, mind, and soul.

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Get ready to embrace your body through all its forms and get back to the roots of wellness. I do, the only reason I want TikTok to go away is because TikTok has made so many people feel that they are famous that aren't.
And I'm sorry, it's just like, it creates this like sense of entitlement. Like, I don't know if you've ever met like a TikToker with 50,000 followers like myself that will come up to you and be like, like, I can't believe the way that they treated me.
Like, are you out of your fucking mind? No, are you, are you okay? Yeah. I've met these people.
I think they mostly live they mostly exist in new york like new york is like a breathing ground for like the fashion yeah breathing breathing breathing okay good good good good no he hasn't he has his radars up ben you're wrong you're wrong breathing ground for these freaking fashion you're resentful you. You have resentment against me, huh? No.
Where is this coming from? Don't go soft with your voice. There's no resentment.
There's no resentment. There's nothing.
Really? Olivia, what was, what just happened? Are we all seeing this? I mean, there's nothing. I think he's preparing himself.
Don't, don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.

There's nothing going on.

Nothing at all. Oh, my God.

I feel like I'm here with the Maharishi all of a sudden.

These lifestyle influencers in New York.

I didn't know I got Zen Ben.

With their 100,000 followers being like, I'm a celebrity.

You're not.

Yeah, you're not.

You didn't have to earn it, Josh, tiktok you had to earn it everywhere else like you think that's true i do maybe it was just like our arc but like i did this for like literally a decade these kids did it for like a may in covid sure and just like grasped onto that. And it's so great that they've turned 15 seconds into a career, I guess.
But like, I don't know. I think that like working hard for it and like having to really try versus just going viral.
I just feel like TikTok's virality is just so, so different from any platform platform that we've seen but it's also like i don't know i think it's social media in general i think it's the way america reacts to things i was listening to this british comedian the other day and he's like you know you americans have hock to a yeah we do which was a girl who became famous for the way in which she would go down on someone right spit spit on that thing spit on it why don't you spit on that thing he said in the UK he's like we probably the camera person would have said oh darling we're, darling, we're not going to air that.

Like, because of how that's going to change your life.

Yeah.

But we in America said, we're going to air that because of how it's going to change your life.

Yeah, totally.

Because we grasp onto these things.

And so it's a cultural thing, too.

Like, we love virality. We love a one-hithit wonder we want to throw stones at the one-hit wonder and make them right prove themselves that they're ever going to be more than just this one thing you're right but we love them we love putting them on a pedestal just to tear them down 100 your 15 minutes are over we love that that.
You're so right. God damn it.
We're the worst. Bill Murray has a famous quote of people want to be rich and famous, but why don't you try being rich first and see if that doesn't solve 90% of your issues? Yeah.
Yeah. And it's funny.
Like the only people, it doesn't always like, you'll see these, I'm not going to like call it like a Jeff Bezos, but like people who are really rich that really want to be famous. Yeah.
Like, like sometimes it doesn't always like you'll see these i'm not gonna like call it like a jeff bezos but like people who are really rich that really want to be famous yeah like like sometimes it doesn't solve it i'd say that for 99 of americans being rich would solve it it's amazing to see the transformation that bezos zuckerberg and like shout out to zuckerberg too yeah exactly he did the commencement speech at harvard when they were still allowing Jews there. And he quoted the Misha Berich in his commencement speech.

BH, BH, BH.

Thank God.

BH.

What a Jewish forward podcast this is.

When you see me in the streets, good guys listeners, as non-Jewish as you are, next time I see you, I want you to say BH.

Just say BH.

I'm not sure. When you see me in the streets, good guys, listeners, as non-Jewish as you are, next time I see you, I want you to say BH.

Just say BH.

BH.

I like that.

Say BH.

That's it.

BH.

Maybe we sign off every episode with, you know, we will see you next time.

BH.

We will see you next time.

BH. Oh my.

We will see you next time. we will see you next time we will see you next time of course unless we get run over by a car we will see you next time god willing to do oh my god it all comes back to hawk to uh should we get to some stories yes amazing i'm excited well the first one is kim kardashian gifts pal tracy romulus $100,000 Cybertruck for her birthday.
Are you effing nuts? No one does a lavish and over-the-top birthday gift like Kim Kardashian. The billionaire TV personality gifted her best friend Tracy $100,000 Tesla Cybertruck.
Look outside, Kardashian said to Romulus in a clip shared to Romulus's Instagram story. Are you effing nuts? I think that's cool.
I think it's super cool. Like I watched.
Oh, we haven't spoken at this and we should speak about it. I watched Dobrik's new vlog just to see you.
And he gave away like 15 Teslas or something to all of the Dobrik's employees. So cool.
Honestly, there's nothing cooler than giving somebody a car. So I would watch somebody give somebody a car every single day if I could.
It's so cool. And it's Kim's best friend.
And Kim has so much money. The hundred grand is like me getting you a $5 gift card to Starbucks.
And that's like so awesome. But we all know I'm gonna get points with that gift card and if you didn't know on the app a gift card gets double points two for one really yeah are you pre-loading are you pre-loading your starbucks app with money yes good two stars okay okay i am pre-loading every time i'm you get a gold star from joshy for that okay good yes i'm preloading yeah i'm i'm all in i'm all in that's it i'm all out on the cyber truck it's ugly it's ugly i don't like it i don't like it like it ain't it it ain't it and like where are you supposed to you're telling me you're going to feel comfortable driving that thing around,

stopping to plug it in and not get robbed.

It's like, I just, I can't. Why?

You think just because people immediately know you're wealthy if you're driving it?

I would at least feel that way driving it.

I would never feel comfortable driving a Lamborghini and having to sit for an hour while it get filled. I get it for the two minutes.
You got people around you, no problem. But if you've charged these electric cars, you could be by yourself for an hour, if not more, charging these things.
And I would just be afraid that somebody would jump me. It's a it's a statement.
It's a statement. It's a statement.
Well, speaking of, male stripper reveals crazy cheating trend for brides. Every single one.
A male stripper has revealed that working in the industry has taught him that women are just as likely to cheat as men. Nate Wilde has witnessed Aussie dating cheating culture up close and personal from working numerous bachelorette parties.
I was once doing a party where I traveled interstate and every single one of the girls in the bachelorette party cheated on their partners. It was so crazy and they all made a pact that they would never talk about it again.
Wow. Whoa.

That's fucked up.

He said one out of every 10 parties he works at, some kind of cheating occurs.

Wow.

Ladies, come on.

Come on, ladies.

Come on.

You gotta get out of your system.

No, I'm kidding.

I think it's an abhorrent. No good.
No good. That said, what is this guy doing? Isn't there some kind of client confidentiality? Nothing with a stripper? Let me ask you, Olivia.
Do you have any opinions on this? In my circles, I don't like really any close friends that have cheated on their partners. So I can't like speak to seeing it in the wild.
But I think that's like a really sad realization. But also like everybody can be an asshole, I guess, is my takeaway from that.
Title. I went to the Magic Mike show in Las Vegas.
I don't mean to brag, which is which is like you know a chippendales type thunder from down under type thing excellent show what an experience and i was there with my wife and my good friend william and manning and it was great it was fun but these ladies my god they were wild i mean you go to you go to a strip club for men a gentleman's club men are so subdued because men are naturally such animals that they know that the moment they get out of line like a gigantic bouncer is going to be throwing them out on their face but that was not the case at magic mike no no at those things it is these these ladies are nuts nuts totally nuts this episode of the good guys podcast is brought to you by insurify folks you have car insurance that said getting that car insurance was probably annoying you went to several different outlets looked for what you thought was the best but really you'll never know you'll never know if you got ripped off you'll never know. You'll never know if you got ripped off.
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Services not available in all states. I just saw a movie, Josh.
Anora. I think Claudia didn't like it.
I absolutely loved it. I thought it was fantastic.
First of all, this was a great production. Okay? You don't need to go to a strip club.
You have a strip club right in front of you on TV. Amazing.
Just saying. Mikey, the lead, is an incredible actor.
She, Mikey, was an amazing actress. Amazing.
She did such a great job in the role. I only thought the movie was about 20 minutes long, but I liked it a lot.
I thought it was really good. Like, I think Claudia also liked it.
Like we had no issues with it at all. We watched two, I've watched two current movies, Josh.
I watched Onora and I watched The Substance. Now, Josh, this movie is fucked up.
I haven't seen yet. I want to see.
Oh my God. And i'm not like the way that olivia doesn't do spicy foods i don't do i don't do spicy viewing i don't do horror movies i don't do oh really i love them no i don't like anything that could give me nightmares i'm just like a nightmare prone like whatever i thank god i didn't get nightmares from the substance this is a crazy fucking movie crazy all that i will say though the reason i thought of both of them lots of tits in both what's going on here there's i feel like there's in all of the newer movies that i've seen there's there's a ton of breasts all over i never remembered seeing so many breasts like they're they're everywhere yeah i got two words for you brother biden out yeah no the breasts are everywhere they're all over they're all over i got two more words for you brother trump in okay brother i got three words for you boobs are lit um you have have to see the substance it's a crazy it's it's crazy and for those of you that don't know it's it's a just crazy story of an aging actress who is able to inject herself to become young oh wow does it and oh does it go terribly wrong oh my it would be if you were like, and it all worked out.
And she was perfect. I have been so wonderfully surprised with how good the movies have been.
I've watched a couple. I watched A Real Pain, the Jesse Eisenberg movie.
You must see it. You'll love it.
Him and Kieran Culkin. What a director.
What a writer Jesse Eisenberg is. Why can can't i rent it josh why can't i rent it i think i go on the tv no it was 1999 no rent option

i had to buy well in that case it's as though it when it's at that price point it's it's they're

saying okay we're gonna make it easy for you not to go to the theater but you're gonna have to pay

a theater price so just buy it okay fine i'll just buy it it's fine but that was why we yeah fine

continue. Anora, I thought was

Thank you. OK, we're going to make it easy for you not to go to the theater, but you're going to have to pay a theater price.
So just buy it. OK, fine.
I'll just buy it. That's fine.
But that was why we. Yeah, fine.
Continue. Anora, I thought was fabulous.
Conclave is my favorite movie. Stanley Tucci, Ralph Fiennes about the it's about a conclave, which is when the cardinals are sequestered when they have to pick a new pope, which is so interesting because like it's basically a hidden process process you don't understand that it's they're just electing a president they're electing the president of the catholic church and it's exactly how it is here like one guy's like i'm going to be more liberal one guy's i'm going to be more old school conservative and them figuring out like who are we going to go with i think it's just because my brain is broken but we started conclave needed to shut it off because when I hear electing a new Pope, I think of Euro trip and I shut it off.
Like, why? You know what I'm talking about? Because it's just like the iconic scene where like they've elected the new Pope and my, the whole, I'm just thinking the whole time about a comedy movie and I see Stanley Tucci and I'm thinking about him cooking and I just, I couldn't do it. Really? I couldn't do it.
I know. Maybe I'll give it, I'll give it a chance.
I'll go back into like a better mindset, but like, I was just thinking of things that did not pertain to the movie as I was watching the first seven minutes of it. Oh, it's so damn smart.
Okay. All right.
So we'll give it another chance. We'll give it another chance.
And then I'm currently watching The Room Next Door with Tilda Swinton and julianne moore fabulous and i obviously i want to see the brutalist because adrian brody is the man and i'm down for three and a half hours holocaust anything yeah i also want to see the brutalist three and a half hours got me i'm not gonna lie like i needed to yeah it's i need to be in a real mindset to watch a three and a half hour movie, but I would love to, it's on my list. And I too have been impressed and I'm happy that they are making original movies.
I feel like there was a time period where nobody was making anything original. They were just remaking stuff, remaking stuff and pulling from stories.
And now I feel like there are a bunch of original movies that are good. I was thinking about this too, isn't in that.
And this is why I want you to get a walking pad because I'm watching all these movies on my iPad. Like I set up the treadmill.
I throw it at night. Usually like page usually wants to watch something for like an hour and then we'll get in bed together or not.
And I love you, but from eight to to nine I'll go on the treadmill and I'll watch one of the the screeners that I have and I've been watching these movies which are my kind of movies I love them I'm not a big Marvel you know Barbie wicked type movie goer but I forgot that you get screeners you're over here telling me to pay $19.99. You didn't pay $19.99.
It's my business.

No. type movie goer but i forgot that you get screeners you're over here telling me to pay $19.99 you didn't pay $19.99 it's my business support my industry that's easy for you to say you wouldn't pay $19.99 no you wouldn't you'd wait for it to be rentable i want to get to a speak pipe really quick because we just got we got a bunch of good ones.
Oh, good. OK.
If you want to ask us, will you tell the people while I look up the speak pipes? Where do they go if they want to leave us a message? Go to speakpipe.com slash good guys. And you can leave us some more on mail.
You leave us a good high if you're really lame. Brevity is key simply because, look, it's awkward.

Like, you don't want to hear yourself rambling on with your smoker's cough.

Okay, quick.

Quick and good.

And if you have to make something up, no problem.

Just make sure it's good.

Josh?

Totally agree.

Here's one from I don't know.

Josh and Ben, fellow moron here.

Love you guys.

Let me keep this quick.

Wait, did we already hear this?

Yeah, because you said my fellow morons.

That's how I knew.

and by the way I just wanna reiterate like you're the morons we're not like yeah we're smart no we're all morons next one from I don't know hey good guys I am a little backstory I lived by myself for a year before he moved in with me to the state that I live in. And so obviously I had like my own like electricity account with like the electricity provider, same thing with gas, like everything.
So naturally when we moved into our next couple of apartments together, I have continued to just keep the bills in my name and like manage the bills for us. And if you if any of my friends like heard me say that I am the most like financially irresponsible person ever.
But somehow I've been tasked with this and it's coming up on four years now. How do I suddenly be like, this is so much pressure.
Like I get anxiety thinking about paying these bills. Like obviously we split them.
He benmoes me. But I'm just like not financially responsible enough to be responsible for the bills for the rest of our life.
So yeah, any advice on telling him to like man up and take over the bill paying would be great. Thanks.
Put it on auto pay, you gendery nerd. Totally.
It's so easy. But before we get to, like, the really dumb question, I've noticed, Josh, a lot of people have been leaving a speak pipe saying that their boyfriend or girlfriend has moved from a different state to come live with them.
Yeah. This is, this seems to be a new phenomena.

People are moving.

I guess they're meeting.

I don't know where they're meeting

that they're then long distance and moving,

but a lot of people are moving

and moving for somebody else.

All I got to say is,

I hope you know what you're doing.

Moving is big.

Changing your state for a lover.

That's big time.

A lover. That's big time.
A lover. Big time.
That's big time. Yes.
Onto the bill pay. Onto the bill pay.
Like, what are you nuts? Put it on auto pay. It's exactly right.
Or just say to him, hey, I don't want to do this anymore. You mind just like taking over communications? And he'd say, sure.
And also just don't Venmo your spouse. That's certainly's certainly strange no it's not when you're just dating but i mean no they've been living together for three years what do you mean this is weird like have some type of like joint just for utilities or just pick it up and then he picks up everything else right like i don't know that's weird to me and have you seen and and i think also you if it's been four years you're good at it give yourself some credit you're getting it done i was thinking the same thing she has imposter syndrome she's stuck in an old version of herself where she couldn't manage these things you've been doing it yes You're a savant you're not at vassar anymore you're not out you

know having greek life at vassar you're you're not at vassar anymore you grew up you've left vassar in the rear view you're not taking middle medieval poetry at vassar you're a grown-up No, you've moved on from Vassar.

And now you can do this.

I love it. I love it.
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Here's here's another one. Hey, good guys.
It's Amber from Connecticut, non-Jewish moron here.

And I just had a question about Brisses. So this was kind of brought up on this host a couple

episodes back and it got me thinking. So how exactly does that work at home? Do you guys have a way to keep everything sterile or to keep the babies comfortable, to get them numb? Or is it just kind of like a wing it type of thing? And how did they even start in the first it's certainly not a wing it let's start there

it's not a wing it anybody in the room have scissors like no i'll give you the skinny the person who does it is called a moil okay the moil is the person who is trained the person who does it is called a pedophile no the person who does it is called a moyle it's definitely a strange profession they are trained they have their scissors they have a stop it they have a scalpel they have a scalpel a scalpel yes sorry scalpel and scissors i mean it's one the same family. Scissors sounds like something you have in your junk drawer.
Like they have a sterilized medical scalpel. It's the equivalent of having it done in the hospital, except with the meds or wine.
That's that's the problem. The meds or wine.
That part to me, I again, BHBH having a boy, that part really does scare me. Like I feel terrible.
I did it though. I'm fine.
Josh did it though. He's fine.
It is, it is what it is. Why did we start doing it? Because it's impossible to clean under there.
You have to be very careful. Otherwise somebody's dick probably fell off and then he told somebody else and they were like, we got to get rid of this hood.
Otherwise we're going to have problems. And so that's why we do it.
And we're steeped in tradition. So once we hear something happens to one person, we all latch on.
We all do it. The moil does it.
Wine goes in the baby's mouth on like a little, ideally it's a cloth that sucks up some wine so the baby can suck on the wine and not feel pain. But I have been to Briss's, Josh, where they'll put the pacifier in wine and put it into the baby's mouth.
I'm thinking to myself, what are you nuts? Once they suck, it's gone. The pacifier doesn't suck up the wine.
It's plastic. I don't know if the West Coast is different, but my friend Len, when I went to his son's Briss, the mohel just used sugar water, which as you know, you're not supposed to give baby sugar within the first year and especially at eight days old that sugar water makes them nice and loopy so it's just sugar water get some nice and loopy it's usually the father-in-law who's holding it yes the father-in-law is holding the baby look we had we had the doctor, my wife's OB, do my son's bris at the hospital.
And she was trained by a mile. It's what they do.
They do three a day. They make money, money, money, money, money.
And sometimes they stay for the party after and eat a little something. Kind of sounds like, let me tell you, this mile in LA, there's like three of them and they all drive lexuses nice they crush no they crush for sure because you're not price sensitive when it comes to surgery on the schmack of your of your prints yeah there's no price sensitivity yes how much it is they tell you say okay that's it it's yeah yes but i will say now but the whole thing gives you the heebie-jeebies.
Yeah, dude, I'll prepare you. They're hard.
Because I remember my wife gave birth at like eight o'clock at night on a Saturday night. And then Sunday morning, the doctor came and was like, okay, let's go do it.
And growing up Jewish my whole life, I didn't have any issue with it. But I remember when the doctor showed up and i picked up my son i thought this is fucking barbaric this is nuts this is nuts and she's like i can just she's like i know this is hard i i can just take him back i'm like no no i'm like i'll be there and i they don't let you in the procedure room but you sit right outside of it and yeah it's rough it's and it was hard to see my buddy len and his son but it's hard it's hard it's not not necessary anymore but to your point we do it out of tradition and what i will give the jews is that if you're gonna do it make a ceremony out of it like make it meaningful in some spiritual way it's very very meaningful very meaningful.
Very. Like it's, yeah, steeped in tradition.
That's what we are. Steeped.
We have another, we have another sneak pipe. Next one from, I don't know.
Hi, good guys. This is Paige from Texas.
Josh, your wife has an amazing name, but it is my first time being pregnant. My husband and I are so excited, but I have a what are you nuts that I think a lot of people can relate to.
Anytime I tell somebody I'm pregnant, they ask me how it's going, how I'm feeling. Are we excited? Which I always come back with.
We're so excited. We're so happy.
We feel so lucky and blessed, et cetera, et cetera. And it's like an itch that everyone has to scratch where they instantly tell you how horrible it is to be a parent and to have kids and how it ruins your life and your body and all these things.
And I'm just over it. I mean, why do you have to yuck my yum? Grow up.
I mean, what are you nuts?

Like, come on.

You're in the wrong circle.

I'm so sorry to say.

I'm so sorry to say it.

Nobody should be yucking your yum ever, especially when it comes to having children and being

pregnant.

Like I can only speak from experience, like at least in my friends, my family, my community,

et cetera.

All that I not one time have I not heard that having children isn't the best thing you'll ever do. Maybe that's just me, but every single person around me with kids has said that it was the single greatest decision that they ever made, and it is the greatest gift.
That's not saying that it's not unbelievably difficult and doesn't absolutely change your life, but you don't need somebody to tell you that. Like, Josh, have you experienced something different? I couldn't agree with you more.
I have experienced what she's talking about. I'm surprised that you haven't.
I haven't. Oh my gosh, people get off on this fear porn of like totally spooking new parents, which I am not a fan of.
I don't agree at all. And I have one piece of unsolicited advice to all parents.
And then I have two extra pieces of advice to fathers when asked, which is my go-to three things, which I will give to you on the pod if you would like to hear them. Okay.
So my first piece of advice is it's just going to be great. Advice number one to a new parent, it's just going to be great.
And any minor inconvenience, which will certainly come up like sleep deprivation, like these things that we know happen, will be so overshadowed by how great it's going to be. Father to father.
Number two, I know people are listening.

We're going to have a real moment here.

Number two is every illness, childhood illness,

cold, cough, rash that's typical

that all kids go through.

When you Google the symptoms,

they are also the symptoms

for the worst cancers and diseases you have ever seen.

They don't have those. They just have a cough.
They just have a rash. I know there's all the God forbids, but 99% chance they don't have any of that.
But when you Google, you're going to be confronted with a lot of scary shit. And it's probably just a cough and they're probably fine.
And my third and final piece is if you think your wife isn't going through postpartum, she is. And if you think it's over, it's not.
And I say that with love and respect to the Herculean tasks that women go through and having a baby and that it will require you to have patience and give your wonderful spouse grace in this moment for maybe longer than you were expecting or think it should take. But I just think it can take, you know, a year or so after the kid's born for everything to kind of find its balance again.
And I think it's a good thing to be reminded of because nine months after the baby's born you could be like I'm pretty sure my wife doesn't like me anymore and it's not you it's just a lot and just have some grace and some patience and care and love that was beautiful is that all right is that okay for me to say Olivia that was that was amazing okay that was beautiful that was beautiful so what are you nuts yeah

what are you nuts people places and things gripes with humanity make you say what are you nuts ripped jeans in the winter folks they're nuts you're wearing you're wearing a winter coat you're wearing a beanie you're wearing gloves it's 21 degrees you're having your knees completely cut out and exposed.

It's nuts.

It's totally freaking nuts.

It's nuts. It's totally freaking nuts.
It's nuts. And any ripped jeans, if you're over 40, rethink.
Unless you're from the Eastern Bloc. I'm talking Yugoslavia.
I'm talking Estonia. On TikTok, please, gosh, not RIP TikTok.
I hope it's still around. On TikTok, you'll see these lovely spouses making their partners usually women making for their their husbands who have like night jobs or whatever lunches to take to work I'm gonna make my hubby lunch and they'll be like and in their lunch I've included two sandwiches three energy drinks two Gatorades two pretzels a granola bar 18 protein bars and a small bag of gummy worms.
What are you, nuts? All of these husbands do not need this much food. It's sick.
It's like, it looks like a Costco haul. They're giving them like small backpacks.
Like it's his lunch bag. I'm like, honey, it's a duffel.
Okay, get over it. What are you, nuts? Nuts.
You know what else is nuts, Josh? If you don't give this podcast five stars, that's what's nuts. What are you nuts? Listen to us on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts.
Watch us on YouTube. Watch our clips.
They're great. They're short.
They're fun. They're vivacious.
They're fantastic. Okay.
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