Guys: Episode 110 - MMA Guys with Felix Biederman

Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys.

I am Brian.

I did not do a funny voice because the only one I could think of is the voice I did for the Man Guys episode.

So I just said, you know what?

I was going to listen to to like one of the Diaz brothers talk.

And then I was like, I don't think I'm allowed to actually talk like the Diaz brothers.

I'm not sure that.

Yeah.

You could have gone with

Joe Rogan or Michael Buffer.

You could have gone Michael Buffer.

I could have gone with Slur Slur.

Bruce Buffer, I guess.

I could have said several Slurs in a row.

Can I say, I don't think the Diaz Brothers, I don't think it's an ethnic accent.

I've never heard like anyone from another country talk like that, like another culture talk like it's just that's you they just sound like that.

Yeah, they're they have a unique, I mean, it is a little bit probably regional, right?

From like where they're from,

they're from Stockton, Stockton, but I think they have a unique, they even sound a little different than the people from Stockton.

I don't know for sure, but yeah, they I've never heard anyone else who sounds like them, really.

I didn't know how to do, like I said, we did man guys, Felix, which is just manly guys, and I did the welcome to go, you know what I mean?

But then, like, I looked into, I, I started looking into this stuff, and then I was like, oh, I could do one of the fighter accents.

I can't do Joe Rogan.

Who knows that?

I was going to do a Brendan Schaub impression because I know Chris likes him a lot.

Yeah, I'm a big Schaub head.

Gringo Poppy.

Yeah, like, I mean, that's a really, speaking of MMA, some people, that is a really funny story about him.

It's one of the craziest things ever.

I don't know if we ever talked about it, but how Joe Rogan went on his show and was like, hey, Brendan Schaub, you are not good enough to fight in the UFC anymore.

And he did that publicly.

Yeah.

It was a very infamous event.

You'd be surprised.

Yeah.

It really felt like it was something, as many people have said, that should have probably been done in private.

You know, I think that's what a good friend would do.

Because some people are like, oh, what a good friend Joe is for actually having the balls to say it to him.

To like 100 million.

Yeah, that's what it is.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

I mean, Joe Rogan, classically not evil.

But yeah, we got Felix here this week.

We're going to talk about MMA guys.

I'm very excited to do this.

This is, there's only one guest you have for MMA guys, and that's Felix.

And

we definitely have some weird guys.

I found some weird guys, and I found some interesting stuff, too.

We can just start on our BJJ real quick.

That's Brazilian.

You know my favorite thing that's good?

If you're really ignorant, that's Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

It's grappling.

Blowjab Jones is what I thought it was.

Blowjab?

It would have been funny if I didn't fuck it up.

Okay.

Come on.

Blowjab Jones.

I could see that on a side in an AEW show.

Yes, you can't.

I don't think they'll be able to get Blowjab Jones.

Yeah, true.

That's true if you're into the wrestling show.

Keep fucking up with things that are a little bit racy so they can't put them on side.

I went to RBJJ and this guy goes, made a mistake of looking up my opponent, scared now.

And he goes,

that's

in like amateur kind or when you're not, you know, like, because in

super competitive, you would know your opponent.

You'd be doing some research.

But yeah, just the idea of like going to a tournament and you're like, oh, who's this guy I'm going up against?

And you watch a video of him and he's just an absolute beast.

That would be

like me in school, and you're like, I have a bully waiting for you or whatever.

I don't know what that's like.

Just to be clear, Felix, we covered a little while ago on an episode of Guys Plus that Brian, up until the age of 25.

Oh, shut up.

That you don't need to bring up on here.

Up until the age of 25, he would be held down by his friends in like a full Nelson, one on the two on the legs, two on the arms, and then they would poke him in his belly button.

Until he was 25 years old, that happened to him.

You could rent a car.

We were rough house.

There's no insurance you didn't qualify for.

I never even thought about the fact that you could rent a car.

Like, you could be like, guys, stop doing that.

I got to go rent a car.

He could be a senator.

That's what

he was old enough to be a senator, and that was happening to him.

And they didn't grab my legs.

They just put me in a Fool Nelson and stuck their finger at my belly button because they know it freaks me out.

Like,

I don't like belly buttons.

I don't like seeing them or knowing that they exist or anything.

And I said that to them.

You'd be not, you would not be good at MMA, it sounds like probably not.

No, this guy goes, I have my first competition coming up in two days, weighed in at 82 kilograms in an 85 kilogram category.

I'm 6'3, so I'm not the biggest of the guys, but I made a mistake and checked out my bracket.

Holy shit, the guy looks like he's a police officer that only lifts

weights and drinks HGH for breakfast.

I was honestly pretty relaxed about this whole thing until I saw that guy's face.

He really does look like he's going to fuck me up.

Anyone had this feeling before?

Help me out.

I'm kind of crap in my pants.

Listen, I'm just going to say, Felix, I don't know what your experiences are.

Have you rolled BJJ?

Yeah,

I trained BJJ.

I did it on and off, but I would say about a combined like six years of training.

So you're very familiar with it then.

I've only done it a couple of of times.

My brother did it very extensively, is

my sort of knowledge of it.

But my understanding from my brother is that it doesn't really, that's one of the interesting things about BJJ is big muscle-bound guy, it doesn't really matter as much.

Do you know what I mean?

It gives you a slight advantage in certain circumstances, but you know, it does, just because you see a big muscle-bound guy doesn't mean this guy's going to kill you in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

I think if you think he's a cop, though, like if you get some vibe that he's a cop, they famously just kill people.

Well, well, well, yeah, yeah,

I mean, like, um, like all things being equal, if two guys have like

very little to no experience, um,

you know, on balance, uh, the more athletic guy probably has an advantage, but at the same time, if you're super muscle bound, um,

you are probably going to gas quicker.

I mean, it's famously like very hard in like, you know, any form of grappling.

Like in wrestling, it's a whole thing to work yourself up to be able to wrestle for one full period and for like grappling especially if you have a ton of muscles the first time that you feel like your limbs sort of like filled with blood and like hard to move in this way that you've never really experienced you know guys do get freaked out

but

um presumably both these guys are experienced um yeah i guess

i mean like it would depend on their levels they're Presumably, they're at the same belt level, obviously.

You want to hear it?

Brian has said there's more to it.

Okay, let's.

Let's hear how helpful the subreddit is.

Okay.

Because they're always helpful with this sort of thing.

First guy goes, so what?

What's the worst that could happen?

Which is, first of all, a bad.

I hate it when people do that.

That's so annoying.

It could break your leg, just to be clear.

The worst thing that could happen is you could have one of your legs.

Well, that's not the one.

We'll get a few other.

But I hate it when you say, I'm nervous about this.

And they're like, oh, what's going to happen?

You're going to fucking die from doing it?

Well, you could.

You could also.

It is one of the things where you could die from it if you lose.

This guy goes broken limbs and the next guy goes death or spinal or head injury that leaves you as a potato.

Big help, guys.

Thanks for the help.

Yeah.

I mean, it's true.

It's like, what's the worst that's going to happen?

It's not really something to say to someone in combat sports, you know?

I mean, like, what's the worst that could happen?

I hate it as a a phrase because it's like, well, I don't know.

That's the point.

All the worst things that ever fucking happened to you were not.

For 99% of the time, it's never something that you imagined.

It's something horrible that you didn't even, you never even contemplated what it would be like.

And it just happens to you.

That's what's scary about it is it's the unknown, really.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's what you're freaked out about, by the way.

And again, this next guy goes, yeah, because white belts grappling without money on the line get their arms snapped all the time.

Now, late, that's going to come back later.

Somebody's going to maybe disagree with

the sentiment.

But I think that's a weird thing to say because I don't think people with money on the line would have more of a tendency to break somebody's arm.

They would be like, you know, they'd have the ability.

They'd have the ability to do it, but there's, I mean, there's certain guys.

What's this?

There was this one Brazilian guy who, who he fought in the UFC.

He was very famous for holding on his

Mark Polaris.

Polaris, yes.

Thank you.

Paul Harris.

My brother and I would call him Paul Harris.

Oh, that was a popular nickname for him.

He was Huzimar Tokinho Polaris.

Tokinho was his nickname.

It meant tree stump because he was like 5'7 ⁇ , 5'8, but fought at middleweight.

He was as wide as a fucking Mac truck.

He was like genetically engineered to destroy people's ACLs.

And he would do that like regularly in training.

Like he just would not let go of holds, which is so insane, you know?

Like, he would do it in matches, too.

You can find video of him in the UFC, like not releasing holds.

But for the most part, professional fighters are better at releasing holds than amateur fighters, I would say, you know, yeah, yeah.

My experience, um,

like guys who are either like very good, experienced amateurs or professionals are like,

if only for like self-preservation, are really good about that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They want to keep coming back to those gyms and like fighting again.

And they're like in the community.

Yeah, exactly.

Here's another guy that starts out helpful.

And then maybe he goes, he's, if he's looking like a Hulk, he'll most likely be quite small as he has a division to fit in.

First boxing match I had, I went against a guy who looked like a monster, but he was smaller than me.

And his eyes, he looked like a crazy man, but I wasn't scared of him in that moment.

The point is, he fucked me up real bad.

Wow, he was not expecting that at all.

That was a really good, that's a good reply.

That's a really good reply.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then this guy pooched me?

Fucked me up.

This guy goes, bro, you're letting them beat you before you even step on the mats.

Everyone can get it.

Believe in yourself.

And I hate that too.

That's so annoying.

That's another thing.

Like,

what's the worst that could happen?

It's like, yeah, well, I wouldn't be having this problem if I could just believe in myself on command.

Yeah,

this is, this is clearly a post of someone who does not believe in themselves.

I, but also, I always remember that, like, because people would always say, like, oh, in fighting and stuff, you've got to have this like crazy attitude, like, you can't be scared at all.

But then I remember Mike Tyson saying that he was so scared before every single one of his fights.

So I think there's like different schools of thought on that, you know?

Well, this guy goes, yeah, he's already tapped out multiple times in his mind.

Shut the fuck up.

God damn it.

I hate MMA.

I hate that I

wasted like a third of my life on this shit.

God damn it.

I hate this.

I hate everyone involved in this sport.

Fucking stupid.

You already tapped out two or three times.

I love it.

A lot of guys had the bodies of champions, but the minds of not even a contestant.

Shut the fuck up.

I have something later on that talks about Joe Rogan's fight IQ that I think you guys are really going to like.

Okay, that sounds good.

He's going to listen, the guy's got a high fight IQ.

You can't argue.

A guy goes,

A guy goes, dude, you're 6'3 in the 85 kilogram category.

How much bigger do you want to be?

I've seen guys like 5'8 ⁇ compete at 85 kilograms.

I'm like four inches shorter than you and competed at 85.

And I'm pretty average for the weight.

And then the guy got the OP's like, I'd like to be 6'4.

And then this guy goes, but would you trade an inch off your dick for an extra inch of height?

What if that extra inch was just a huge forehead?

Fuck it, man.

Go choke himself.

Go choke his ass out.

So

then they start to get into a little conversation about

what

trade an inch of dick for an inch of height.

This is some real MMA guy.

Like sort of, you know, he's like, what if it's a fucking, what if it's just a forehead?

Like, that's something to think about.

Like, some real bonehead discussion going on here.

i i like it did you say there's more the guy who said the guy that guy is like the socrates

that's up right

like by mma he is like by easily all the guys in his gym are like that is the smartest guy oh yeah that's who you go to if you have like a serious life issue or whatever

that's what that's the thing i always talk about that guy jared i grew up with chris is that like he was like

he was like you would go to him and be like, he's older than everyone, right?

He wasn't.

He was the same age as everyone.

He was out of school.

He dropped out of school.

Dropped out of school and he fucking didn't clip his fingernails.

He had long hair.

His teeth were all fucking falling out.

He sat in that room all day and would just dole out advice.

That's

what I needed to get advice from a guy who doesn't brush his teeth or clip his nails and just sits in a room.

He didn't leave his bedroom.

He doesn't even go to school.

Doesn't go to school.

Doesn't leave his bedroom.

His parents bring him weed and cigarettes.

Yeah.

And he just sits in there with a little fan in the window.

And we would go to him, like, let's go to the wise.

Like, he was our wise man.

So we will go.

Kind of, because when you're that age, that's like, you know, you're like a teenager, like 15, 16, that's like the ideal life.

It's just like chilling, and your parents are bringing you weed and stuff.

So, yeah, he dropped out of school.

You know what I mean?

So he, once he dropped out of school, the talking point about him was

the smartest of all of those two.

He's too smart.

Yeah.

that is my favorite thing with trailer park boys is that they trailer park boys is such a great show because they nail so many like like obviously there's the big things like ricky's melloprepisms and everything but they nail so many like little stupid behaviors that escape most even great writers of stupid characters I love how Ricky's dad, the disability scammer, when he's talking about Bubbles, goes, Bubbles, that's the smartest guy around.

They just, like, stupid guys love this like to try to shock you by being like oh you know that idiot we know he's actually the smartest guy ever

and it's like like they are they're just they're just like three percent smarter than the other like yeah complete morons they got one thing right one time you know maybe not even that maybe just willing to say with confidence what they think you should do.

I think is really, that's what it was with Jared.

It's like,

you know, you're pretty unsure of yourself when you're like 15 16 17 years old you're like completely unsure of yourself but then one guy's like I dropped out of school I watch the discovery channel all day I know all kinds of shit you're like this guy's got to be smarter than me because I'm not even going to school you know

because I'm skipping classes you know but he ended up being just like I mean truly

You know, I think I was 19 the last time I saw him and I was just like, he's the dumbest guy I've ever met in my entire life.

This next guy goes, I'd I'd 100% be shorter for the extra wiener length.

Two inches to your height ain't gonna change your life all that much.

Two inches to your dong is the difference between the average and getting nicknamed the hammer.

But why?

So these are younger people, I'm guessing.

Yeah.

Because I think that, yeah, I don't, I think when you get too much.

I like this guy.

I, I just, yeah, I, but like, even

like at a certain age, you realize that like

any given group of friends,

most people don't know the size of everyone's dick, much, much, much less like having a nickname for the guy with the biggest dick.

Women wouldn't name you the hammer.

Like, I wouldn't.

Yeah,

your buddies would give you the name the hammer, definitely.

Yeah,

yeah, your buddies are really cool with your, you bragging about your huge dick all the time.

This next guy I love, though, because Felix called that guy the Socrates of MMA.

This next guy goes, that's a surprisingly helpful way to talk to people about their height.

So he might be the Socrates of MMA.

Oh, yeah.

Well, or like the Jamila Jamil.

Like, he's like, he's like helping them with their body image stuff

in a way that no one ever has before.

He's also like, he's the wokest guy on the forum.

Yeah.

I don't know why this guy says this.

He goes, the general rule in grappling, which I believe this is probably not a general rule in grappling.

He looks a little bass because he's he's a girl.

And I'm not a grappler.

I don't know.

But he goes, the general rule in grappling is the scariest looking people are complete pussies, and the nerdy, dorky guys will assassinate you.

So maybe that's true.

But I'll bet you some of the meanest-looking guys are not pussies.

That's not like.

It's not a hard and fast rule, I don't think.

I think they're, yeah, but no,

yeah, most professional fighters look like professional fighters.

They are professional athletes.

And like,

I mean, like, yeah, at at a high level there are a lot of guys who like like john donaher is a good example of like a guy who looks like a claims adjuster who's like incredibly skilled what's that guy's ryan hall ryan yeah ryan hall another good example but at the same time there are like also like

Paul Harris.

Yeah.

Or guys just in pure jiu-jitsu who are like roided to the gills.

Like this is an older example, but Hiccardo Arona is one.

Uh, where they, yeah, they look horrifying and are also ADCC champions.

Uh, yeah, like this is just like a truism for

Fabricio Verdum.

Fabricio Verdum, like, was a scary-looking fucking dude, you know, like, and he was one of the best BJJ guys in the world, right?

Yeah, yeah.

The next thing I found in BJJ was this guy.

He and he just said, fat guys scare me.

Big old boys with decent experience, purple belt or higher, are the scariest dudes in the world to me when it comes to grappling.

Not like your gamer fat with flabs and childlike arms, but the hard-working man with an alcoholic, fatty, liver disease fat, where they have a belly that is rock hard and pokes out several feet away from their body.

I'm an athletic 180-pound guy, and a guy damn near gave me pneumothorax today by taking side control and driving his belly into my chest, like how an old school BJJ guy drives his knee into your belly.

I literally cannot imagine how bad someone like this is to roll with a really small person or thin person.

Anyone have a near-death experience with this guy?

This kind of guy that they'd like to share?

Advice for punishing this kind of pressure?

So

these guys are nervous.

I mean, I think,

listen, I'm a pro wrestling guy.

So big fat guys with hard bellies are actually the toughest guys in the world.

In that world.

You know what I mean?

This guy seems to be saying that they're using their hard bellies, like their hard, you know, protruding bellies to their advantage as well to like drive them into, yeah.

Like, they're like, I don't, I mean, I don't know.

I think, again, it's just uh, like strength and dexterity and things like that.

But Felix, did you ever uh

do any resilient jiu-jitsu with a guy with a hard, fat belly?

I mean, I'm familiar with the type, but again, this is this is such a great insight insight into the mind of the stupid

um i'm afraid of

a fat guy with this type of build those are the scariest guys because it's the most recent guy who beat me

not i've run into dozens of these guys these guys run the bracket at my local tournament everyone who's ever looked like this has kicked my ass just this is the most recent guy so it's true for all of them yeah yeah he's, yeah, I do feel like these guys have a short, a goldfish-like memory when it comes to that kind of thing.

Well, this guy does say LOL, several foot-long bellies.

The scariest thing is going mount and realizing your fucking knees don't touch the ground.

That's yeah, that is a good point.

With a fatter guy,

mount is full mount.

Yeah, riding it like a light.

Yeah, it's like you're at a mechanical bowl or something.

The 300-pound coach told me to secure the body lock.

My arms weren't even long enough to do it.

This next guy, Blue Belt, says, Here's a little secret.

You don't need to lock your hands to body lock so long as everything else is still where it should be and how it should be.

Then Lord Arm Triangle, which is a purple belt, says Blue Belt giving unsolicited advice.

Flare checks out.

So

yeah, some guys are black belts at Reddit.

That is true.

We see so many of them on this show.

Remind me of the, what are the, how do the, um,

blue comes before purple.

I'll tell you that.

Blue is the, that is correct, Brian.

Blue is the first, it is the first thing you get after a white belt.

Okay.

Then it is purple, then it is brown, then black.

And there are degree, there are stripes for all of these.

You,

more stripes as you go up generally,

though sometimes it does vary from place to place, I've heard.

Um,

black has a lot of degrees to it, yes.

And there is like a level that's, I don't know if you'd call it beyond black belt or just like the highest degree of black belt, but like the highest thing you can get is a, it's like a red and black belt.

And that's what, like, you know, Elio Gracie would give that to you.

And how many, yeah, yeah, is he still around?

No, he's

long dead.

Long dead.

But that he's like the original guy right he was the he was the was he the guy who brought it over from japan was he the guy who actually went to japan it's complicated um there was there um

he basically

learned a form of judo from this guy maeda i remember yeah because when you the reason i know maeda's name sorry is just because when you look at all of the like who got their black butt where they got their black belt on wikipedia it goes all the way back and everyone starts with maeda yeah maeda is like, it kind of all sprung out from him, at least in Brazil.

He, he, he

did a form of judo

that he learned from another guy that was

heavily emphasized randore or like, you know, floor sparring, the, you know, literal, more literal translation of that.

Like just traditional grappling as we know it.

And

he, he taught it to, he taught it to like Elio's brothers too, but Elio was like,

you know, he was born in like 1913 or some shit.

So he had like polio and was like much sicklier and smaller than his brothers.

So

they could fight regular.

Yeah.

And he had to, he, he sort of like reworked some of the Randori and some of the like standing throws and trips to be to like rely like judo already does rely on leverage, but like to make it so that like even even someone with like a mr burns build like ellio did yeah

that was the whole brian you probably even know this like from the original ufc right you remember when like hoist grazed it right you remember

i mean i know that a lot of that stuff because in japan oh it got all fucking mixed up with pro wrestling that's right that like i do know a lot of those guys that

that was that was pretty so much lying and so many worked fights over there that I love watching that old stuff.

Like, I love watching Bob Sap

go over there and wrestle and act like he's

doing a real fight.

What I love about Japan is that they would make like their judo Olympians like pro wrestlers, but they would also...

like have them fight in MMA.

So they would do like that incredibly like involved,

highly technical Japanese pro-wrestling stuff.

But then like three times a year, they would just wander out and get decapitated by Cro Cop or something.

Yeah, yeah.

Why are you making them do that?

Yuji Nagata is

the

standard-bearer of the time of New Japan Pro Wrestling when he was.

He was supposed to be the top guy.

And one of the reasons they say he never got over is because Antonio Inoki sent him a bunch of times to do MMA, and he just got his face smashed in.

And like, what is that?

He's a pro wrestler.

anoki was obsessed with proving that pro wrestling was real which is such a weird thing to do but i guess because it isn't exactly and i guess if you're anoki and your whole life is

around all these worked fights it kind of is nice to convince people that it's real you know what i mean yeah i think that's how it worked Yeah, I mean, like, Kazushi Sakuraba,

he had a lot of very good wins he was a pro wrestling guy and he was like a lot of hunter right the gracie hunter oh yeah yeah he he had like an insane streak against gracies until he was like you know in his 40s and his body was just obliterated by having fighting all of their children and nephews and stuff yeah that that's what happened he ended up fighting uh hodger gracie yeah i remember who was like

probably like not even born when sakuraba like started training pro wrestling Is Hodger Gracie the one who never lost or claims to have never lost?

Or no, that's a different.

No, that's an older one.

That is, that is Hickson Gracie.

Hickson.

Sorry, yeah.

Yeah, Kazusi Sakuraba is the first Japanese pro wrestler I ever saw wrestle ever in my life.

Like he wrestled Minoru Suzuki and I was like fucking so into it.

Like I, that's how I got into like.

That's how I'm not into WWE and stuff like that.

Like I got into all the Japanese shit and all that stuff.

But let's check in on Quora real quick because that's also where a lot of geniuses go and they talk.

And this is something that comes up a lot of times in MMA.

And the question here is: would Bruce Lee at his peak be able to

contend with today's top MMA fighters?

Oh, yeah.

I've heard of a one-inch punch before.

Yeah, he would knock them out in a second.

You guys have no idea how often this conversation goes.

No, I used to.

mma forums i i mean i really got on twitter because of mma in the first place and i used to read mma forums like when i would i like

working at like you know like a shitty job like you know swiping people into a gym i would just sit on the computer there and like read like sure dog or mma.tv all day yeah i have seen this thread probably no less than 5,000 times.

It's crazy, man.

That's an important

question.

And they are so,

I've never seen people so sort of like,

like, it feels like a requirement to be online in an MMA space for you to have an opinion on whether Bruce Lee would be a good MMA fighter.

That's just like, it seems like a prerequisite that, like, I would assume, Felix, that you have posted in a thread about Bruce Lee doing it.

I think I might have because I got so sick of it because it's such a stupid question.

It's like,

it's like, yeah, he sort of did like a

kind of what MMA was by like blending all these things together, but he also

he the his athletic prime was in the 1970s.

Yeah

when people didn't know what to do.

Did no one, yeah.

I'm sorry, who did he have sanctioned fights with?

All the videos of him fighting are him fighting kung fu guys on rooftops where there's no way cutting.

I'm pretty sure there's saying I've seen him beat the shit out of a lot of guys, Felix.

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

You can tell by his moves

that he'd be great.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Like, like, okay, I have a question.

What's harder?

Like, a face or a really thick wooden board?

No, like, like, Bruce Lee probably won a lot of fights, and he was like, you know,

partly because he was like blending stuff together, including grappling and takedowns.

But also,

there has been more development of like what fighting is since the UFC became a thing than probably in the last thousand years before that.

If we're just talking about like unarmed combat, like, I don't know how you could ask that question after UFC won.

Yeah.

What's Bruce Lee's?

What was his weight?

Where would he be fighting?

Just out of curiosity.

They don't explain.

This first guy does say Chuck Norris at one time, the world middleweight karate champion, sparred with Bruce Lee.

In an interview, he quite cheerfully remarked that Lee was capable of killing him.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, you'd be John Jones then.

Yeah, Chuck Norris.

Also,

the only time you've seen him fight is in a movie.

Yeah, again,

I'm not saying that he like sucked, but it's like, okay, what fight, what weight class he would be at?

He would be in 140 pounds.

So he's 140 pounds.

So I guess he would fight at bantam weight or featherweight.

He was 5'7,

which would

he would be slightly shorter than average.

in bantam weight and if he's 140 just as he is now no weight cut

He'd probably actually be at fly weight, you know.

Yeah, they'd probably cut him.

Yeah, he'd be able to cut weight and he'd get down pretty low.

But I think, personally, I think like just a real good wrestler would sort of take him down and

just ground and pound him.

You know, I think he would struggle to get up.

Someone would just impose their will, Habib style on him.

You know what I mean?

Like, I don't know that he would be able to handle that.

Well, I do want to say this guy is a 10-year Tai Chi student.

So that's his.

Yeah, there you go.

There you go.

So he does have a lot of relative experience.

Listen, this is why Quora fucking rules because a 10-year Tai Chi student can answer and still be in the same

expert.

I don't know any more than him.

He does say Conor McGregor's assessment of Bruce Lee is that he would have been able to compete at any level in any way class.

Oh, well,

if an insane rapist criminal sociopath says it was that after taking three and a half grams of cocaine to his head in one line perhaps i mean give me that guy is like and he's the exact type of guy to say that too you know what i mean to just be like oh yeah brute like you know like he's just like he's so fake with his like reverence of the you know what he's like i have this respect for fighting and like bruce lee he's one of the greats he would he'd have no problem whatsoever but it's probably not even what he believes either you know what I mean?

There's no way he believes that.

It is typical like Connor bullshit where it's like, the way I moved, I learned from Bruce Lee.

Yeah.

And it's like,

what do you refer to Bruce Lee as behind closed doors?

Oh.

What epitaph do you give him?

I'm sure it's not the father of MMA.

No.

Well, what about this one then?

Bruce Lee's doctor once expressed concern for Lee because there was no fat on him.

The man of matis, the man is made of steel, is what he said.

Okay, that's like a, that's made of steel.

They're doing like Chuck Norris things now.

Bruce Lee was insanely strong and quick as well as fast.

He was accomplished in a wide variety of martial arts, including Western boxing.

His Jeet Kune Do was in fact the first mixed martial art.

Congratulations to this poster.

You're only the eight trillionth man to play this in a thread like this.

I mean, Felix already told us this, you idiots.

Like, like, honestly, Felix on this episode already told us this.

And I even, I even was like, should I even be saying this?

Everyone knows this.

No, but I didn't.

I didn't.

So I appreciate you saying it.

I love this line.

I love this.

I always tend to ask people who insist that size and relative strength are the decisive factors how they think they would fare if a largest house cat decided to become feral on them or how they think they would do in a fight against a raccoon.

Food for thought.

What's the point they're trying to make there?

Well, yeah, if Bruce Lee could claw people's eyes out, I don't know.

I don't understand what they're saying.

They're saying it doesn't.

Me neither, but that's the whole end of the thing.

He ends it with that.

That makes sense.

It ends it because everyone's like, I don't know what the fuck this sister did to.

He is drunk hillbilly at a party that corners you and then says something.

And then when you, you're like, yeah, like, you'll be like, yeah.

And then I'll be like, huh?

And you're like, okay, I feel like I just have to

agree and get out of here as quickly as possible.

Jimbo used to do that to us all the time.

He'd be like,

older guy.

Oh, yeah.

He was like in his 30s hanging out with us when we were teenagers and giving us beer and weed and stuff.

And he would get

Felix.

He was one of the coolest guys in the neighborhood.

Again, I think about that guy so much more now that my daughter is like 20, and I'm like,

he was hanging.

We were fucking 14.

Who did he live with again?

Remind me.

He was like, he had two daughters.

He had two daughters, but they were too young to hang out with us.

So we didn't even have, we were there to hang out with their dad.

Like, he was the guy.

And he would corner you when he would get really drunk.

And then he would get kind of argumentative.

And then he would corner you.

A bunch of kids.

Yeah.

Drunk and arguing with children.

He would get drunk.

He'd get really argumentative.

And then you would end up in like a thing where he's just like, you can't say anything that's right.

And then he goes, he'll just look at you and he'll go like, uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

Yep.

Yeah.

And you'll just be like, okay, man, I'm going to leave now.

I'm highly intimidated by you, sir, because nothing he said made sense.

Why was he doing that?

Because he's insane.

I passed out at his house one time because we smoked a primo.

We smoked like two primos, which are it they're in groveport they call them primos joints with cocaine in them and uh we didn't have a name for them you didn't call them primos no we called them a cocoa puffs i think so we smoked two primos with him and i fainted and the next thing i knew i woke up and he was shoving

uh

He was shoving little Caesar's pizza into my mouth and saying, he's got the sugar diabetes.

He's got the sugar diabetes.

What the fuck?

I think he was just nervous that I died in his garage.

You know what I mean?

He was trying to wake you up.

Like, what did the he was waking me up?

I was in his house.

His kids were standing around me.

My wife was there.

What was the p was the first?

The pizza.

Did he think the pizza had sugar?

Like, yeah, some little bit of sugar on it, but probably not enough.

Or it would wake me up.

It is what he thought.

It would get my blood sugar up, and I'd be fine.

That me passing out had nothing to do with the cocaine or the weed.

He's a crazy guy.

He was just very like

i think back on like there are like three or four adults in my life when i was growing up that would buy everybody beer

that hung out with kids like almost exclusively i don't think there was any kind of

sexual abuse or anything like that i just think that they were like i want to be I want to be the coolest of the kids.

You know what I mean?

Yeah,

we had

like quite a few people like that that we knew um

king of the kids yeah yeah we we knew a lot of people like that one of them uh he was like one of my really good friends older brothers and um

he like he had this id like a real illinois state id

from this guy that he knew who was in federal prison for something terrible yeah

for something

real mad

yeah and the guy looked like me so he's like oh yeah let's like

you should use his id so we can like go to clubs and i was like 15 and we would we we went to this horrible club in uh chicago that was like right below a sports authority

And before we went in, he was like, hold on, you don't, like, you don't look cool.

Like, we have to, we have to like look cool to go to this club.

And he, he was, he, we went to the trunk of his car and he pulled out this Christian audio hoodie with like bejeweled bullshit on it.

That was the exact same one he was wearing.

Oh, shit.

The bead boys showing that's

the bead boys showing up in the bar.

In the matching outfit, that is, I mean, honestly, that is like probably a pretty good idea of how to get into somewhere.

Like,

they'll be thrown off by that.

Like, these two guys

no one's doing it you know no one's it's buckle core

it's buckle core it's the the buckle at the mall is always the store i think about when i'm like

they'll put you in a bedazzled pair of jeans like those jeans that like are very ornate Yeah, have like crosses on the back and they're bedazzled and they're ripped and they're kind of faded in a way that doesn't look real.

And then like, because you see them on like 40-year-old dads wearing them all the fucking time.

Yeah, you've been mentioning that, that a lot of the dads you see at like the sports things and stuff are wearing those bedazzled cheese.

Crazy.

Yeah.

Here's a question.

Well, let's look at another question about that.

Could an MMA fighter defeat a chimpanzee?

In hand-to-hand car?

No, I don't believe so.

A chimpanzee is outrageously strong.

Well, listen, this guy, and he doesn't, he says he loves loves Lovecraft's craft, and he's got an answer for us.

He goes, I'm pretty surprised by the chimpanzee fanboying and fangirling in the replies.

I did not realize there were so many chimp stands out there.

Holy shit.

I hate chimp dick riders.

Yeah, man.

I knew every four in my mind.

Oh, yeah.

Chimps are so strong.

Well, why don't you go fuck one then?

Jesus.

Good luck.

Chimpanzees are smaller than the majority of people, usually reaching a maximum weight of around 55 kilograms.

A large MMA fighter would be over six feet tall and weigh over 100 kilograms.

So that's one thing.

Those numbers are very much higher than the chimpanzee numbers.

I will say that.

I gotta.

What are you gonna do to defeat the chimpanzee?

You're gonna knock the chimpanzee out?

It's not gonna tap out.

I can tell you that.

I actually, I asked a question similar to this to Twitter a while ago, which is like, obviously, I favor a chimp against any human, but like there is an outside chance that like someone who hits hard enough could win in the first like 10 seconds of the fight by knocking them out.

But if it goes longer than that, they're probably fucked.

And I said, who, not who's the best fighter, but like, what fighter has the best chance of doing that to a chimp or a gorilla?

Is it Pereira, probably, do you think?

I would say Pereira or Bader Hari.

Oh, yeah

maybe

I think Pereira with a kick obviously if it because they because the chimp is so low as well right like if Pereira could land one of those like famous devastating kicks straight to the head that would probably do the trick I don't know how like

I'll be honest with you.

I've never seen chimpanzees fighting before.

So here's horrifying.

I don't know if they if they can get knocked out easily.

Do you know what I mean?

Like I don't know how hard it is.

Do they have like really hard, like thick skulls compared to us?

Is it hard to I have no idea.

A little more food for thought.

A chimp is around 50% stronger than an average Joe.

A big and athletic man can easily be twice the strength of an average Joe.

I don't think that.

I don't think that math is correct.

I think chimpanzees are stronger than

men.

All of them.

Yeah, this is like, what doctor is saying this?

Well, you know, they're both 50% strong.

What are you, what?

Who?

Who?

Who's measuring this?

I mean, maybe

if the chimp was really old and weak or something, but that's not.

Well, he's saying that a chimp is 50% stronger than me, personally.

And that a big and athletic guy could be 100% stronger than me.

But I'm saying I don't know where he's got his math from, and I don't trust his math.

Absolutely not.

Yeah.

Chimps are capable of acts of deadly violence.

That does give our cousin an advantage over an average Joe, but chimpanzee fans are either unaware of or overlooking a human's capacity for violence

they got their chimp colored glasses on they got their chimp colored glasses

simply can't see it for what it is this is what makes quora like the best the best forum i think i would call it a forum it is that like you see repeated references to the concept of chimpanzee fans

but like several people to thread are like

hey can the chimp dick writers go somewhere else

go to chimps.com if you're gonna act like

that

i love the idea of the reason quora quora is such chum for dumb guys that like because it is oh you know the questions are stupid first of all but then there's no quality control in the answers.

So like you can ask the world's stupidest fucking question and the world's stupidest guy will show up and answer the question for you.

And, like, nothing gets done.

It's so wonderful.

It's such a great website.

He goes, There are humans

who are capable of the same degree of deadly violence and aggression as chimps.

Men and women put away in

maximum security prisons because they're too savage and dangerous.

Society.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Sorry.

It sounds like you've never heard of something known as murder.

Filling people in on the concept of that.

There are people in prison.

Have you ever?

They don't just put them there for like stealing and stuff.

Some of them have taken lives.

I really, this is a really good, I feel like I've always loved Quora, but it does feel like the Quora, the questions, the MMA Quora people, it's like a really sort of good little niche of Quora.

They're great.

They're very advanced.

Yeah.

He goes, child soldiers growing up murdering and raping in third world countries, gangsters in a criminal criminal syndicate who commit violent crimes of death and mutilation that would traumatize any normal person right there.

All of the different types of murderers.

Yeah.

You just got yourself.

Now think about that.

Think about that if you're fighting a chimp.

He said crimes of death.

Yeah.

That's true.

That was like

what they said before they came up with the term murder.

Yeah.

He goes, there are certain people with chimp-like bloodlusted mentality who live to fight and kill we need an mma fighter with that kind of streak of violence i think a lot of them

a lot of them do have that yeah we need him like we're like like like it's there's a chimp that's terrorizing

the world he's running through everybody yeah and some he's he's going to local supermarkets and we need to like listen the chimps have picked their guy and he is waiting

It's also like, it's like, if we shoot him, then another chimp will come that's just as strong.

We have to beat him up to keep him from.

This has to be hand-to-hand to brute.

This is a great movie.

Like, this is a great dumb guy movie idea.

It's a moral victory for them if we shoot them.

If we have to resort to guns like cowards.

Honestly.

That will play right into their hand.

That's just what they're expecting.

They will never let that go.

A violent and depraved, big, and fighting-fit man who will charge full on at a charging chimp.

Such a man will either mortally wound the chimp before he dies or die after he kills the chimp out of berserker rage and disregard.

Chimps are not made of steel.

They're strongly.

They're not brutal.

What if there was a steel chimp, though?

Thank you, professor.

Yeah, wait a second.

All of a sudden, Socrates pops in.

Like, what if there were a steel chimp?

Can you imagine what that would be?

Would it be harder or would it be easier?

Because we can, he's vulnerable to lightning attacks.

Wait, are there any fighters who can do lightning?

They're strongly built, smallish, flesh-and-blood creatures.

Just because they're our closest extant kin doesn't mean we have to crank their actual capabilities up to superhuman levels.

Oh, so you're saying they're big, we're big upping them because they're our they're our kid basically

yes

i love how the people on here think it's yeah look i know we all want to root for chips because they're like almost the same thing as us but they're not that good they're not exactly the same you notice all the hair on their body yeah that's

it is the closest thing to like figuring out the conversations the cavemen would have had with each other.

This is really what like conversations were before the internet a lot of times.

Like you would just be, we would just be sitting in the street at, at, in front of my parents' house and just fucking talking like this the whole time.

Like, oh, chimps are 50% stronger, though.

Have you heard that chimps are strong?

And then somebody would hate you for acting smart.

Like that was always the thing.

I would always get fucking

like, like pushed around if I said

apparently because they said it or obviously because those were big words and I was trying to act smart obviously obviously yeah so how did they say how did they say like if they wanted to say that

if they wanted to say that it was very clear that you were

being trying to be smart how would they say I don't remember that I just remember getting punched like it seems like obviously is a word that is just necessary and brother I agree with you I thought that was one of the more well-known words.

Yeah, honestly, it's one of the more well-known ones, or one of the first ones I feel like.

Maybe in the, in like the second round of 100 words that I learned.

And apparently as well is.

Do not say apparently.

I really did get into an actual fight with a guy because I said, apparently, he said, what do you think?

You're fucking smarter than me.

And then I fucking said, no, I just was saying the word.

And it was Aaron.

Me and Aaron got, that's the guy I talked about as balls not having any hair on him and then he punched me he also punched me for saying apparently one time so

how how is there like literacy in Ohio like

yeah

well it's it's one place in Ohio

situation I'm gonna fly a bunch of people out and drive them around my old neighborhood.

I showed John Collin my old neighborhood on Google Maps and he's like, fuck, now I see.

Yeah, I got to come out there honestly.

I mean, as soon as I get this this passport, I can take out the Grove Port?

Yeah, I gotta come to Groveport.

I'll honestly, I'll come.

And I can only come for a couple of days with the baby and everything still, but I would love to come check out the old neighborhood.

Can scrawny little me survive a chimp?

Maybe I can get you.

Maybe I can get pornoshonamias out there.

No, truly, I would let you know how much I want to hang out and meet porn O'Shaughnessy.

So do not say that if it's not a real thing, please.

Can scrawny little me survive a chimp attack?

No.

Can a strong person fight off a chimp?

Maybe.

Can a very strong person kill a chimp?

Maybe not.

Can a very strong person full of murderous rage and disregard for personal safety kill a smaller, somewhat weaker creature with fangs and the same killer mindset?

Quite possibly, yes.

So can an MMA fighter defeat and kill a chimp?

If he's a beast like the chimp is, then yes.

But at the cost of serious injury or even death.

So there's your answer.

Yeah, because it is a risk, right?

Because you...

Unless you got to have a bunch of people there to pull the chimp off or whatever, because he's going to, you know, he's going to go.

You think Paul errors is bad not releasing a hole that chimp is not gonna let go you know

you know i saw that this next thing i want to read is a review of something that i once saw when i was touring when when we were doing uh live shows well i don't remember what city we got to but i i saw a ufc gym branded ufc gym

oh i don't know what that would be exactly is it like a

because they don't have like the gyms that are you know there's different mma gyms that they all are sort of part of but they're not ufc specific so one thing i i let me see if this is the guy uh well here i'll read you the first review from shaman sosa okay who gave it five stars this is in new york uh long island felix so i'm sure the guys that work out at the ufc gym in long island are cool there's a real oh i bet they're terrific guys there's a famous guy who he's one of the one of the best uh mma guys brazilian good guy uh brazilian jiu-jitsu guy who was in New York.

Do you know he was like the

Marcelo Garcia?

I went with my brother.

My brother got to take a class with him.

He happened to be teaching one while he was there.

And while we were there, and he got to go and I got to go watch it.

It was fucking, it was sweet.

Yeah.

No, Marcelo is insane.

I knew two guys who were like instructors at that.

the academy in Manhattan.

And that was like, I like went in there once and that was like,

I learned so much and such.

Yeah, it's like a real, you like, go in there too, and you're just like, man, everyone in here is so fucking tough, you know?

Yeah.

So, the UFC gym in Long Island, which is probably where you find the worst people on the planet.

I mean, first of all, it's Long Island, but secondly, somebody sees the UFC logo on a building that says UFC Gym, and you're like, oh, yeah, that seems like where I want to go to work.

Yeah, if it's just a gym to go work out at at and it happens to have UFC branding, then yeah, that's going to be where you're going to find a real, real certain brand of dip shit in there.

Oh, yeah.

No, that, like,

if you are in the Trump administration and you want to recruit people for like a false flag against Teran.

I mean, I don't want to help you, but like, if you have to do it, you know where to go.

Well, Shaman Sosa gives it five stars and he goes, I see many people complaining about UFC Jim.

Now, I'm going to tell you what, I saw two, many people complaining about it.

It's not bad reviews.

It has 396 reviews, but it's at 3.6 stars.

Wow, that is low.

That's on Google.

That's on Google?

That's on Google, yeah, which nothing is below, nothing's below four stars ever.

No, ever on Google.

Yeah, Google is like the biggest, the biggest ratings and flaters.

it's the happy play it's just if you're a business guy you it just like you're if you're a business guy you're like well i got five stars on on google it's like that doesn't mean shit that might as well be one star not like yelp is bad too but i feel like yelp attracts a sort of like literary guy that like doesn't have another outlet if that makes sense you know like he's a guy that is like

well it attracts man cow too so who knows?

Well, Man Cal loves to do that.

Yeah, but people who, like, we've, we've said on recent bonus episodes, people who just want to, they want to, like, write stuff.

They want people to hear them writing and like using literary things and language and stuff.

Yeah.

It's really fascinating.

Yeah.

No, yeah.

What a hundred.

Like I've read so many like unnecessarily long Yelp reviews.

And it's like, like to a man, it's all people who like

the process of them signing up for Yelp was just imagining someone like reading one of their reviews and going, you know, I don't usually do this, but I'm a publisher at Random House.

We just have like such a good way of describing things.

And I know it's just, you're just like reviewing O'Hallahan's good time grill and pub, but like I felt like I was reading, it has like a literary quality to it.

Don't change what you're doing at all.

Yeah.

How does $400,000 for your first book sound?

Listen to this.

Man Cow has been doing reviews again.

Oh, good.

Good.

Yeah.

He, he, oh, Felix, yeah.

We read some of his.

He does so much name-dropping in his reviews.

What?

Man, get?

No, that can't be the real him.

The man got one.

I know, wouldn't risk that.

The Berghoff restaurant in the Loop, Chicago, where I probably wouldn't go.

I mean, there are good restaurants in the Loop, but the Loop is not like

the coolest part.

Have you been there, Felix?

Go to this restaurant?

Yeah, I grew up there.

Yeah,

but like this actual restaurant where we're

okay, sweet.

So, this is going to be helpful to us because you'll be able to sort of, you know, if Mankow says something, you might be able to refute it or agree.

Well,

okay.

So, the Brughov is a famous eating establishment in Chicago.

It is a German restaurant.

Um,

he probably loves that.

Yeah, lots of cabbages and encased uh meats.

Um, but the thing is, I've not been there, you know, in like 20 odd years.

If Mankow says something, it just means that's how the burghoff is now.

Okay.

Rather than it contradicts me.

That's what I think.

I see.

So you think you, so you're saying that you don't want to make it seem like you and Mankow disagree on a bunch of stuff.

No, I don't think because we don't.

Yeah, yeah.

He goes, one star,

and he says, this pains me.

Went to my class reunion.

Sweet April didn't age so well.

Okay, man, Cow.

See,

that's so gross.

He's doing shtick, though.

Like, see, he does, he thinks, like, you know, some of my listeners are reading this, though, obviously.

I mean, it's not just regular people reading this.

It's obviously, they want a little bit of the cow, you know?

It's like,

he goes, Berghoff is like my April.

Best in the rear view mirror.

And memories are blurry, faded faded snapshots.

What happened to all the great German places in Chicago?

He does say C-H-I-C-O-W-G-O.

It's still Chicago to me.

God damn it.

Yeah.

He's the only guy saying it now.

Birkhoff is to German food like what Olive Garden is to car repair.

May I give you one example?

Chicken schnitzel with marinara sauce.

Boom!

Berghoff goes down.

How can anyone involved argue with me over this one?

Again, a German restaurant serving chicken schnitzel with marinara sauce.

What was that mess?

Ugh.

No more rye bread.

As a child on a dare, I licked a cow salt lick.

It was exactly what the sauerkraut tasted like tonight.

I don't know how you can make sauerkraut taste more horrible, but they did it.

The gravy had the consistency of jell-o-lumpy.

The red cabbage had major patches that were blackety black.

Why?

Jell-O's not lumpy.

It's fair.

That's actually true.

That's 100% true.

It's maybe one of the least lumpy foods possible.

He goes, I want to love this place.

When it closed last time, I wept.

This time, it will be like old Yeller being put out of its misery due to rabies.

The building, that neon, the history, I really was rooting for this place, but alas, it's time to put Berghoff to sleep for good.

So, Mankow, funny enough, was on the radio and has had a public, and he still is maybe somebody will have me write a trip guide or something like that yeah he well i see to me it does it screams to me that he's kind of doing his show still to the people you know what i mean he's still kind of like just doing his shtick and entertaining the people and hey they won't let me on the radio anymore but they'll let me on yelp.com and he did there is one where he says uh a recent one where he says uh it's for a place called Galatois restaurant in New Orleans and he gives it one star and he goes past its prime long past but needn't be I like the dress code so I can only imagine how racist that dress code is oh my god yeah

they

it's probably like

no

no crew neck anything

like if you're wearing a t-shirt under your shirt like get the fuck out of here He says, the main dining room is a knockout, really like stepping into a more civilized gilded age.

Problem?

Uh-oh, our waiter was so rude, just ruined it.

What's the star of the menu?

I asked, and he said, I hate that question.

It's all good.

We've read this one before.

Because I remember that one specifically.

What's the star of the menu?

He asked him, which is such a fucking, you know what I mean?

Probably

an annoying question.

Yeah, he had him pegged.

I think that's what we said last time.

The waiter was just like, the server's like, that's fucking asshole.

You know what I mean?

Like, God, what another one of these kind of fucking guys.

Well, he does.

Man Cow replies and goes, Okay, what are you famous for?

I inquire politely.

Everything, he mumbles, looking away.

Well, fuck, I think to myself.

So

the food, he didn't like the turtle soup in the service room.

The guy had a chip on his shoulder.

And Man Cow, he goes, management can look up my ticket, Man Cow Moeller, and figure out who served me on November 13th, 2024.

I totally forgot that.

Because then at the end, he says, I was sent there by the Walton and Johnson radio show.

I remember that part of it at the end, too, that he's like, and just in case it's it's not enough, yeah.

I'm a friend of Walton and Walton as well.

I love how like

multiple people, there's multiple levels of people failed Man Cow here.

Everyone did, you know?

Walton and Walton, the waiter, the restaurant for not finding this guy and firing him, possibly, you know, calling authorities, maybe killing government for

letting it happen.

The guy that hired this guy.

The guy who hired him at the end of the day is is really where it all starts.

Sicking a chimpanzee on him or a bloodthirsty man.

You know what I have to say about this whole thing, about what happened to Man Cow?

The cruelty is the point.

I'll read you one of these reviews because it's a very smart guy that went to the UFC place and he goes, upon first glance, this is a one-star review.

The UFC gym appears to be a fitness enthusiast utopia.

Boasting an expansive layout, the space is thoughtfully designed to cater to a variety of fitness goals.

Oh, buddy, I already know why you just gotta give a one-star.

The library's that way, nerd.

You, buddy.

Come on.

He goes, the array of equipment available is impressive.

It's a place where one can easily lose track of time.

However, the seemingly perfect fitness haven harbors a less appealing reality, especially when one decides to part ways with it.

This is a gym.

I love that.

The process of canceling a membership would test the patience of even the most Zen-like individuals.

I found myself paying for an additional month, though, though I canceled before the next billing date, according to their quote, terms of service.

Moreover,

quote, terms of service.

Moreover, the gym seems to have adopted a philosophy that every cent counts, but perhaps not always in the members' favor.

This approach to banking.

This business is

going with a money for like a profit-first approach here.

Yeah,

I wouldn't like that either.

Well, perhaps beneficial to UFC's bottom line can leave a sour taste in the mouths of those who frequently use the gym and enjoyed it for the time being.

I hope that the gym will fix its exit project process so that there won't be another me complaining in the review section.

Oh, I really hope there isn't another you.

Yeah.

Well, Felix, I wanted to do one more thing here because of a famous tweet of yours.

And I just know for a fact that you're a big fan of Krav McGah.

Oh, I know.

My only experience with Krav McGah is JJ McCartney, who we used to call and say the word shirt over and over again for years on end, a radio host, and it would drive him insane.

He claimed that he knew Krav McGah and was going to use it to, you know, end my life with his bare hands.

But I don't really know.

It's the thing.

It's like, is it from

the IDF?

Is that?

Yeah, it is.

It is a rally unarmed combat system.

And

there are a lot of like, you know, army combatives type things like this.

I mean, the U.S.

Army is just called Army Combatives.

The Marines have one that's some stupid acronym.

The Russian one

has, it's an acronym, and they didn't mean it.

mean for it to be this but it is a racial slur if you pronounce it a certain way um and you're saying they definitely the russians didn't mean that,

no, no, it was invented by the Soviets, so they wouldn't do that, okay?

I don't think uh,

the Israelis have Krav Maga, and Krav McGah has the most aggressive marketing of all these systems, yeah, it really does.

Like, I mean, JJ McCartney, he was a you know, he's a big pro-Israel guy, but it just seems like, yeah, it made its way into sort of popular culture as a thing where you just know of it, even if you don't know that it's associated with the IDF necessarily.

It does, it seems to me that it is the perfect sort of thing that, like, somebody like me that hadn't, Felix had the best tweet about it, like a very long time, but a person like me would, I had been under the impression for a very long time that it's the toughest possible

martial art to learn.

Like, it's the, it is like if somebody tries to kill you, you're always going to win.

Now, I've learned since.

that Steven Segal's thing is the one that

is the top one.

Chris, it does, they do stuff in it, they call it bullshito a lot on the MMA board.

Yeah,

and they do a lot of stuff in it where, like, like in the movies, where you grab the guy's gun from him and like take it apart and put it down, you know what I mean?

Like, shit like chilling, he's just kind of chilling as you do it.

It's stuff like that.

It is like

sort of like

they have a good, they have a good lobby.

You know what I mean?

Like they can go out there and they can get you to believe that they're the toughest guys in the world.

It's kind of something that they're kind of good at, I feel like in general.

That's true.

Or were at least historically.

This is from RMMA and he goes, thoughts on Krav McGoff or self-defense?

Been training at an MMA gym for a while and I've had some fun, but ultimately don't care for the sport at all.

I have no desire.

Yes.

Well, he goes, I don't think I'd even call it that.

Activity.

He goes, I have no desire to spar with friends or compete in MMA.

My only reason for doing this is to be competent in self-defense.

A Krav Maga gym just opened in my city.

Should I switch?

The first guy goes, be very careful with Krav Maga.

Anyone can just open a place and teach eye pokes and dick kicks and call it Krav Maga.

There's no regulation.

That's how you know you got a good martial art.

It's when people can do a bunch of bullshit and pass it off as the thing that you're doing, you know?

So, so is so is it just to be clear, is it complete bullshit?

Is there like yes, it's complete bullshit.

Okay, so so it's not respected in martial art circles at all, or okay, sweet.

No, yeah, anything where people are like, hey, if a guy points a gun at you, you can do this, and it especially something where it's like all pre-rehearsed, like

things

that is

completely made up.

Yeah, it's bullshit.

It's nothing.

Like any martial art where there's no live trailing, you can't spar.

You can't spar because it's like, okay, we're going to go kind of hard today.

So only like take out one of the guys' eyes.

Yeah.

There's no sparring.

That's one of the reasons they all tell this guy, like, that's how, that's brilliant.

It's not going to get you anywhere.

That's actually so smart.

I just thought of it.

It's like, oh, no, you can't do sparring because you'll kill somebody because it's too hardcore.

And so they,

yeah, no, it is genius because it's like, it's like, you can't spar because it's too hardcore.

And oh, why isn't every Kravin McGah guy like the champion of every division of the UFC?

Because it's like, it's just too hardcore for the UFC.

They won't allow it.

They would, yeah, like they can't be having people literally getting their heads knocked off on live tone.

He goes,

he goes, where's he at here?

This guy goes, sparring is how you get good.

You must pressure test your skills.

A, get good at them, and B, be able to use them in a high-pressure self-defense scenario.

Kraft McGaugh typically does absolutely no sparring or training against a resisting opponent under the guise of being, quote, too dangerous or, quote, too effective.

Usually that means it doesn't work against somebody who's aggressive and or athletic, and the coach can't risk exposing that fact.

If If you aren't enjoying MMA, I'd recommend you specialize in a specific striking like boxing, kickboxing, or Muay Thai, or grappling art like wrestling, judo, or BJJ.

You may enjoy it more, and they'll all prepare you for self-defense far better than Krov or get a CCL and pick up running.

That's really the best self-defense.

This guy gets told so many times to just run, but he refuses

to, he refuses to like

confront.

that's the job.

And then this guy goes, You cannot be competent at self-defense without sparring.

So if you don't want to do that, you may as well quit entirely.

And then this guy is very helpful.

He says, More like Krav McGay.

Am I right?

Yeah, that's true.

So, so it, what's the one?

Is there any videos, like those funny videos online of like Krav Magaga guys getting fucked up by real funny?

Oh, I'm sure of it.

Because,

Felix, you will know, I'm sure.

What is the, like, what's that famous martial art that, um,

like, uh,

it's the one that steven segal does i think but there's other people who do it um aikido

aio or whatever my ex-girlfriend whose titties i suck did aikido oh cool um

the uh so is it like holy shit what she said i thought it was real she was like it's the toughest martial art you do mostly stuff with your legs so if there's that one though that where they yeah they there's all these like masters or whatever that just kind of push people away you know that's good that's that there are a few things like that.

Yeah.

But I think one of the most popular ones is called Systema.

I don't, that's definitely not the name that I know, but like it might be just like the, I know a different name for it, but it's those basic like bullshit martial arts.

And then they go and fight a real martial.

There was one guy in China who was going around beating up all these guys, all these like guys who

did like this fake sort of MMA or martial arts training.

And I just would love, if this is the case, with crap, my God, those are the funniest videos, you know, the guys who are so confident, so good.

Yeah, that girl I dated used to tell me I'm in Aikido all the time.

And I was like, ooh, that's tough.

I never saw her fight or anything like that.

And her mom was never home.

So I don't know how she got the classes or anything because I was always over there, you know, getting in there.

It's so rare.

I've never heard of a woman Aikido practitioner.

This, I think she was a liar, like, as in, like,

it seemed like she did a lot of lying.

Oh, no, I'm saying that.

She did a lot of lying.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, a lot of lying down while you sucked her titties.

Sorry, Phoebe.

This is very interesting.

I recently made a post about this about how

there used to be distinctly gendered styles of lying between men and women,

you know, and how like a woman, a woman liar

was

far, far different than a male liar.

Agreed.

Like

the stig styles of lying,

like, and that's been changing over the years.

I think the internet changed that.

I even, in 2014, there was a girl I was friends with on Twitter, and she would say things to me like,

yeah,

I go on 18-mile walks at night to prepare for being a psychologist for Delta Vorus.

That's a male lie.

It's such a male lie.

But what Brian is discovered here was a rare pre-mass internet availability female liar who lies in the style of a man to the point that they're doing Aikido, one of the preferred hobbies of the male liar.

I remember her saying it and then me going around and telling people, my girlfriend's fucking tough.

She does Aikido.

I don't know why

Brian, just like a little fucking newborn baby looking up from the tea.

Shut up.

Felix, before we get out of here, there's something me and Chris have to show you.

What was Felix's post?

This was so long ago.

Yeah, it was really long ago.

But I just feel like I don't want to be, but I just find a podcast and they've mentioned it and then it doesn't get,

you know, some people might be like, I want to hear the post, you know.

God, this is 10 years ago or more.

Yeah, there's a post on my old account.

It sort of sounds like, is there some saucy language in there, Felix?

No, no.

I can help.

I can actually.

Well, yeah, it did actually sound like this was 10 years ago, but it's always bad to say that.

You remember what it was like at that point, right?

I can help out, Felix, because there is a post that in this Reddit thread that is almost kind of what you were getting at.

The guy goes, Is Krav Maga

good for self-defense?

Buddy, the only time Krav Maga works is when they're using it against a starved population after weeks of F-16 carpet bombs.

Krav McGah is a joke of a martial art.

You might as well get training from a Pilates-style kickboxing class geared toward middle-aged moms losing pregnancy weight.

You'd come out more competent.

Well, that guy really obliterated this sort of like collegial atmosphere.

He is right.

That was that guy's post because that was pretty well, like that was good enough that I felt, I thought for a second that might have been Felix's post.

You know what I mean?

Like, I was like, this is like, that's basically what it was.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's very close.

Felix, me and Chris have to,

for the last few minutes here, we have to, there's been a big news story recently that I think you would be very interested in.

Okay.

A guy that we really like has started a prank YouTube channel.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

And his name is Greg Ophie Hughes.

It's called Ophie unleashed.

Felix.

He is unleashed.

When was he leashed?

Felix, Felix, Felix,

you cannot even imagine.

It is so ridiculous the things that he is calling pranks or whatever or how he's like owning people out on the street.

It is, he is really rebranding himself as like a on-the-street kind of like fucking what, like like a you, like the young people aren't even doing that anymore.

That shit's over with, but he's going back to it now.

He's doing the like the internet meta of like the year 2014.

Here's the problem.

He's a lunatic.

Here's the problem.

Back then when they did pranks, the people knew they were being pranked.

Obviously, he's a little different in that regard.

So, Felix, you might be saying, like, oh, that sounds kind of cool.

So he keeps it.

No, no, I mean, like, at the end of it, they still don't know that they've been praying.

I'm going to play one that me and Chris watched on Sunday for you, Felix.

This is one of our,

is this the famous one at the John Lennon?

Yes, this is the Yoko Ono one from last Sunday.

Okay.

Here we go.

This was where Lennon, you know,

met his maker, basically.

And people do exactly what I do every single day.

So here we go.

Here we go.

Here comes the prank, Felix.

Don't miss it.

Of course, don't miss it.

There's Yoko on him getting out of the car.

Yoko!

That's Yoko, right?

Oh,

I thought it was Yoko.

She's annoyed.

We should circle back.

Yoko doesn't have there anymore.

I knew you would love this.

Oh, my God.

She's so annoyed.

We should circle back.

In what fucking universe would people watch this and be like, like besides us?

Like someone who doesn't know who the fuck this is.

Yeah.

It is like, oh my God, I have to show my friends this outrageous.

The thing is, so the thing is,

nobody is watching it.

He's getting very, very low numbers on these.

So yeah, it's not, because yeah, it's, it does not appeal to anybody.

There's not a

chaos shit.

I'm fucked up.

Well, I think we can find one.

Here's a new one that I haven't seen yet.

His prank was saying, hey, Yoko.

And the security guards were like, that's it.

No, it's not her.

And he was like.

Got her.

I got to get the fuck out of here.

And then he runs away.

I mentioned it before.

That was like my first ever episode of Not Even a Show.

I did a fake street prank thing where it was like a take on that where I would walk up to people and just be like, hey, what are you getting?

Like Orange Julius or Dairy Queen there?

And he'd be like, oh, Dairy Queen.

I'm like, oh, nice.

And then I'd be like, turn to the camera, like, oh, shit.

And like, that's literally what he's doing.

Not as a joke.

It's, like, I love the way that his mind works because, like, we talked about this last time about how he's the last thing that we, where I was on, where we were talking about his new enterprise, how it was like, he he was clearly going for like a Joe Rogan type persona.

Oh, yeah.

But now he's like, he probably like, you know, his kid probably told him about Aiden Ross.

And he's like, oh, I bet that's one of those YouTube prank guys.

Well, like, I have, you know, I have like, you know, 70 years of entertainment experience.

I bet I could do better pranks than anyone.

I got to check this one out.

My phone's got a front-face camera on it.

I mean, what the hell is stopping me from taking over the internet?

Aiden Ross has never, he's never done the stuff I've done.

Yeah, you know, he wouldn't survive a war with Howard Stern like I did.

He's never interviewed the president before like I have.

Everyone's like, oh my gosh.

Now, here's another one, Felix.

I think you're going to like this one.

This is where he went to the Seinfeld's Diner.

Oh, this one's fucking good.

This one's good.

This one's good.

Tom's restaurant.

The Seinfeld restaurant.

That's right.

I'm going to get kicked out, obviously.

He's going to obviously get kicked out.

I'm going to get kicked out, obviously.

Obviously, I'm going gonna get kicked out.

I mean, it's a restaurant.

You can't just go in there.

It's like, and it's like the Seinfeld restaurant, like a tourist sort of location, meaning you can't go in there and take photos and sort of hang around there.

They would be like, What the fuck is going on?

Why are you doing this?

I'm going to get kicked out, obviously.

Now, let's watch the video.

I'm going to just try to

see what this looks like inside.

This is uncomfortable.

I agree.

Oh my god.

He's just showing a picture.

He's just now he's gone into the

I just remember that if you guys are only listening here, he's gone into the Seinfeld diner now and he's just he's got a photo of the cast autographed.

That's what he's saying, oh my god, to.

And he's whispering, oh my god, whispering it in a loud diner in New York.

But these people are being so pranked.

It's crazy.

He's such a a piece of shit.

Well,

wait till you hear this.

Oh my God.

He's looking at other photos now.

Oh my God.

He's a look, more photos.

He's just a little known fact about this restaurant.

You know, the cheeseburger, cheeseburger bit from John Belushi?

Yeah.

The old-timers.

John Belushi did the classic cheeseburger, cheeseburger skit for SNL.

It wasn't done here.

Oh, that's the prank, I think.

That might be the prank.

Oh, oh.

Oh, wait, maybe.

Oh, I thought they're letting me walk around in the restaurant.

Yep, just walking around, looking at stuff.

Wait, he's doing the Seinfeld music, though.

Do you hear that?

Yeah.

And that's the prank, Felix.

What the fuck?

So what the fuck?

He didn't get kicked out like he thought he would, but

it was probably because they didn't even know what the fuck to do.

They were probably going in the back to call the police or whatever.

They didn't want to confront him themselves.

No, like, his fit, like,

old guys love telling you shit about John Belushi.

That's true.

All of that shit.

Like, every old person, every old guy, specifically Opie's age, will just, like, any reason to bring up John Belushi or like the Blues brothers or any of that stupid shit, they'll take it.

So that didn't even surprise.

They were like, oh, this is another old guy talking about John Belushi.

I'm just going to turn my brain off.

I'm just going to, you know, think about times that my cat got in a shoebox.

Yeah.

The first week he did it, he

he went to where John Lennon, like people gather for John Lennon.

And he basically was like, I'm photo bombing these people, but he was pointing the camera at them.

them, and they didn't notice they were being photobombed.

And he was whispering to himself, like, I'm so photo-bombing these people.

It was like, I'm so photobombing.

And it was, yeah, he, he was, he kept doing this that his big running gag that became quite famous in our world, at least, on the stream, and the, and the bonuses.

He was saying to them, like, oh, yeah,

yeah, people don't come out here and take pictures here all day long.

It was his big joke

was to say that, like, oh, yeah, like you're the first one to do this.

Like, people aren't out here all day long.

And he must have said it 50 or 60 times.

And it's like, yeah, it's a tourist place for one of the most famous people in the history of entertainment.

Yeah, of course people are there.

He's just photos.

This new lease on life he has, which will end within two weeks or three weeks.

I think he's got at least a year to live.

What are you talking about?

Or, oh, sorry, I misunderstood.

The pranks will end.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Because

he is not above putting his tail between his legs and trying something different.

He'll do whatever.

Just that, like, hashtag Patrice and stuff like that, you know, like using that type of shit.

Like, he is just the most desperate person to get back in the spotlight of anybody that we've covered.

You know, he's so desperate and so unaware of how to do it.

He has no clue how to do it, you know.

Well, he's heard pranks are good, so that's what's going on.

Felix, we want to thank you for coming on the show.

Well, I was going to say my pleasure, but I'm

going to be up all night thinking about Opie's fucking.

This is so upsetting.

It's like,

I hate thinking about how he decided to do these things.

Yeah.

I hate thinking about him like getting to the destination, like him on the train.

And he's like, obviously I have my game plan, but I'm a great ad-lipper.

Oh, yeah.

He's

even done.

He's like, I just need like a sort of curb your enthusiasm style script for this.

I don't really need to do all the line.

Oh, God.

It's so, it's like, yeah,

it is like the most humiliating that something can be without it happening to you.

It's so crushing.

I have talked about depths of

human desperation.

i apologize i do apologize i feel like i didn't know he was going to do that but i'll admit when as soon as he did sort of bust it out it made me really happy that we did show that dude chris loves the opi uh uh prank chat but i think the thing about it that gets me is that like you know

with street fight there were times where we threw around the idea of like doing man on the street stuff not pranks i don't think but it was just like let's go out and interview people people.

Yeah.

And bought the equipment.

And then just once you get out there and you're, you have the microphone with you and stuff like that.

I just, I couldn't do it.

I was just like, man, this guy's just walking.

He doesn't need to be in my world.

It's a different thing.

It's a different, I don't know how Eric Andre and people like that do it.

Cause like, I, I have a prank channel, obviously.

And like, but when you're standing there face to face with another human being in their space and you're like sharing that moment together and you're doing this really humiliating kind of thing or trying to embarrass embarrass them, or you're whatever.

It is, I couldn't do it.

I did it a couple of times in the beginning, and I was like, this ain't for me at all.

But neither can Opie at this point.

Yeah, no, he has no, yeah, less than zero capability of doing it.

He's, I can tell what he wants to do, but he loses his nerve almost instantly.

Yes.

Yes, there's nothing.

That's in all the videos.

In all the videos, it happens in that exact same way where it's like very clearly he sort of

chickens out to use it.

Yeah.

Yeah, that restaurant prank.

If Opie of 2007 was in that restaurant, he would have been yelling and be like, oh, look at this hunt.

You know what I mean?

Like, doing like,

actually, he would have sent an intern to do it.

Yeah,

he would have had people with him.

If he had his boys, you know, Anthony, you know, or if he had racist Anthony and sort of some of his other fucking people with him.

But I don't think that's what he was doing.

Yeah, like if Jay Moore was, if Jay Moore was with him,

if Jay Moore was with him, he would have made a fucking fool of himself to impress Jay Moore.

If Jay Moore was there, he would have like brought a gun in.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And Jay Moore would have been like, you don't got to do that, man.

Like, let's just go to the radio show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It just, like, it's so...

Like, that's the, I think, one of the most depressing aspects is that.

You see him lose like more and more of his self-mythology the more stuff like this he does.

And And when the camera goes off,

he has to face that.

And it's really sad to think about.

Yeah.

But

you think, like,

maybe he'll have some type of realization.

But then I find out things like what you guys told me that he was offered like $300,000 or something to do a radio show.

And he was like,

no, not even in my ballpark.

Like, not even.

Yeah, he won't.

And he can't accept where he is now.

You know, he won't accept it.

Yeah.

And it's like, have you ever seen someone like this who

so routinely

gets beaten down by the world in ways that are so specifically their own fault?

Like they are, they are like daring, daring the world to remind them of how far they have fallen, how much they have lost.

And still, it just, they just can't internalize it quite enough to make any life-altering decision.

I don't know how it would be.

I can't speak for that.

Of course,

I have never and will never reach the fame of Greg Opie Hughes.

And so I can't imagine what that experience is like.

But I think there are other people who have handled it with a lot more grace.

Man Cow.

I don't know that he's used grace either.

But I would say he doesn't do his show.

Man Cow does.

He did do a show.

I think he figured out this is pointless.

Because the thing I think when you're talking about when Opie has a moment of kind of realization

i think it's when he gets the direct deposit from youtube and like he sees

no he can't get anything he can't he's not even getting 60.

well but p you can subscribe to him now oh i see that's right so it's he's getting that little thing and i wonder i think he i think he direct deposits it and he doesn't look at the bank i think he has his account and sort of deal with that kind of stuff and make sure i think he knows what he's bringing in chris i'll bet you know i think he checks it

i think he checks his analytics I think you're right about that yeah and I think he sees like $70 a month and he's just like fuck dude I'm really far away you know what I mean

you think he doesn't say I'm done he says oh I'm really far from where I need to be that's that is a marathon not a sprint it's an it's admirable in a way but again we've also seen videos of him at his apartment now where the lighting hits his face in such a way and it you realize that this is an older grandpa, you know, and you're like, oh fuck, man.

Like, maybe just

hang out with your kids or whatever.

I don't know how old his kids are, or you know, but I mean, he had them when he was still doing Opie and Anthony.

So they got one of them is probably a teenager, I would say.

Yeah, like, man, I mean, and I'm not saying he doesn't, obviously, and he probably has time to do both.

And, you know, but it's just, yeah, like, you think at some point when you get that old and your body starts to break down a little bit and stuff that you would hang it up.

But I don't think he ever will.

I think he's going to keep going.

Yeah.

Oh, no, no.

And like, I also think this is what's really fucked up is he is one of those guys that's going to be like Joe Biden.

Like he's going to live to like 98 and he's going to be like fully mobile during all of it.

So he's, you're going to see like a lot of, you're going to see another 40 years of this shit.

Yeah.

And again, think about, think about being his kid who's coming home from like Vassar for the holidays.

And your dad is trying, your dad, like, got his hair cut like Aiden Ross.

And he's like 78.

He's doing pranks.

My dad does pranks.

My dad does pranks.

You should go to my dad's prank channel.

You should go to the prank channel.

And then you're fucking looking at these pranks and they're terrible.

And again,

we watched a beer show.

He used to do this thing called a beer show where he would like talk about different craft beers at a bar in Manhattan.

That believed

they had to kick him up, they couldn't.

He wasn't allowed to now.

He has to do it in the basement of the bar.

Uh, Felix,

customers were complaining.

And I don't know, granted, some of the customers complaining online might have been listeners of ours who know the name of the location, but yeah, he ended up now.

He's like down in the basement with all the kegs or whatever.

Um, it's really sad.

Yeah,

yeah, it just is like

the fall is, he is at the bottom.

And it's like,

if he has enough money to live.

Uh-oh, Brian, that's a false floor.

Looks like he's gone through the

he ends up having to pay YouTube to be on.

His kids have to drop out of college.

I just paying

paid programming on like kick.

I just

I can't get over picturing his kids coming home from college and he's got like a fade haircut like

whispering, whispering pranks to himself in the street while people walk by him.

I just, I just, I imagine, yeah, like you're right.

He will still be doing it, but like, oh my God, man, like, I got a, like, 30 years from now, can you imagine he's doing something along these lines as a like 88 year old man?

Yes, I would bet money on it.

Yeah.

I would bet money on him doing this until he dies.

And it's like, like his kids, you know, like the types of kids, right, who like grow up in Manhattan and have like well-off parents are like

for the most part, like very urbane, like really cool.

Like my brother went to Vassar, which is like a pop, you know, it's a popular school for like kids from that general area, you know, kids either from like Manhattan proper or like the surrounding suburbs who are like incredibly urbane and like, you know, like proto-hipsters around the time that he went to school.

And like, that's probably like what OP's kids are like.

Imagine being that

and that's your dad.

Yeah.

That's so like they probably

tell people like

my dad overdosed in 2011.

Like

I actually don't know who my dad is.

Somebody's your dad knows famous people that you don't know about?

Like like that like again, Jay Moore.

Like, oh, my dad knows Jay Moore.

Who the fuck is Jay Moore?

Like, you know what I mean?

The only thing you can brag about.

Even you couldn't even explain it to them in a, you know, like a, you know, satisfactory way anymore either because you look at an old picture of Jay Moore and a new one, and it's two different guys as well.

Yeah, it's so confusing.

But no, I, he's just one example.

It's like, oh, you know,

his kid comes home and is like,

he's like, you know, who I hope he's like, I remember back when we would have TJ Miller on the show all the time.

And then the kid's like, dad, you know, yeah.

All of this guy's like, oh man, you know who is a great guest of ours?

Louis C.K.

That's the other, that's the other thing.

It's like,

obviously he's bringing up people that his kids and their friends have no, like, he's like, oh, man, I could tell you stories about Tom Papa.

You know,

no one gives a fuck about and no one actually cares about.

Bread making motherfucker.

Yeah, that's.

That's good.

I really do love the idea of OPB, you know, his kids interacting with him.

But, but, but, like.

Also, all the people that don't fall in the Jay Moore or Tom Papa category of like, who the fuck is that if you're you know under 24

are like insane criminals who are like infamously hate like his business partner the guy who his his name is like tied to for like opiate anthony is a literal nazi pedophile yeah yeah yeah

He sold compound for $80,000 and I was semi-impressed, but then I was like, man, that was his life's work, I think.

No, $80,000 is fucking sucking.

That's terrible.

It's crazy.

I was saying it's the craziest amount ever.

It's like, it's not like it's, you either sell it for $1, like $80,000 is a crazy amount to sell a company for.

For a guy who used to make millions of dollars a fucking year.

There are like so many shows that were on compound that make so much fucking money and are like incredibly popular.

Shane Billis was on compound for a period period of time.

We're probably like the biggest comedian in the country now.

Yeah.

He's doing a fucking arena down the street from me.

He's doing an arena in Vancouver too.

Yeah.

He's probably the biggest stand-up comedian in the world right now.

It's fucked up.

I bet you he would not talk to Anthony in public.

No, what?

No.

If Anthony tries to contact Shane Gillis, like one of those like Sean Ryan type guys will snap his neck.

Oh, yeah.

Like we've been instructed, sir.

be, no, it will be club soda kenny, of course,

similar to the Bill Bart situation.

Club Soda Kenny, I believe.

I think he might just do anti-Kumia security now.

Like

he doesn't do security for any particular person.

That's my point.

Kumia turning on Rogan a couple months ago was fucking great, man.

Just great.

I didn't even see that.

He's like,

I send Joe Rogan birthday cards and Christmas cards and stuff birthday cards you 85 year old man

i send him gifts for his birthday and i send him stuff and like now he doesn't even mention me i haven't been on his show in a long time but he wouldn't go straight up like i'm turning on him but he was like i'm just it's a wait and see thing with me and i was like joe rogan doesn't care and it's a wait and see it's so fucked up to say that because joe rogan had him on the show like yeah fairly recently, like well out

of the ball of it.

Yeah, like he had him on when he was like persona non grata and like gave him like a chance to get back in the spotlight again.

He squandered it, of course, but yeah, you know, well, it's just funny.

It's funny to say I send him Christmas cards and then he was like, and then he would send me Christmas cards and those stopped coming.

So I'm not really sure what's going on.

And it's like, Joe Rogan doesn't send those Christmas cards.

Joe Rogan doesn't sit down at a table and write Merry Christmas Opie or Merry Christmas Anthony.

Yeah, but the reason you know what I mean?

mean?

But yeah, a team does it for him.

But the reason that that team used to do it for him and no longer does it for him in your second is because of the point that Felix brought up before about you being a Nazi pedophile.

That's the reason why I think they don't want to have that sort of like, yeah.

Dude, if I was Anthony and I knew these things about myself,

I would be like, Joe Rogan had me on the most popular podcast in the world that does video, by the way, despite my horrifying appearance.

Oh, yeah, it does video,

which is not even fair with the way he looks.

Like, honestly.

A

like pockmarked pedophile Nazi

who

just screams the N-word while streaming Call of Duty on like Snapchat or something.

He's doing it on YouTube, by the way.

He had him on the biggest show in the world.

Yeah.

I would be like, well,

he tried to help me, and he shouldn't have.

Yeah.

You need to have some self-awareness.

Yeah.

What is like,

if I think about what is the most objectively smart and correct thing for him to do, it was not to help me.

And I would go, well, I guess his, his,

you know, multinational.

corporation-sized office didn't send me a Christmas card.

That's okay.

He risked the intense reputational hazard

of being seen with me.

Yeah.

You can't say that he can't be sitting around in his house thinking, like, all those famous people still like me.

You know what I mean?

Like,

probably the real thing is like

he's crossed over a line where it's just like nobody can be seen with him.

Not even like

Gavin McKinnis.

Well, yeah, yeah, there you go.

Yeah.

But I bet Steve Bannon would be nervous to be in a picture with that.

Yeah, well, because he's worried about another guy who's going to look way hotter than him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, gross.

Well, thanks for doing the show, Felix.

It's always fun.

Chapo Trap House.

Do you got anything else going on you want to plug?

Well, no, just, you know,

seeking a friend at the end of the world, our series about conservative media is all the, I think all the, all six main episodes are out.

I don't know what's going on with the post script we recorded.

I'm sure that'll be out soon.

But no, thank you again for having me.

I love how like no matter what the subject is.

The gravity in the room is always Opie and Anthony.

Like we always have to return to I need you.

I need I was so excited to show you Opie's prank channel.

It made me funny.

I was so happy.

we literally talked about it when we found this channel we're like we can't wait to show this to felix he's gonna love this

i do think that like one day

we need and i don't think this would like get it out of our system because i think just in the way that opie assuredly will be doing this until he does

we similarly will um

we will be watching that yeah right from the day that we die

i think we have to we have to do like

a five-hour opi

episode like that's how long it would be yeah yeah yeah do a october episode that's like just like a two-parter on it where we like really yeah we just like it's like like when you smoke like a hundred cigarettes or whatever at once you know to quit smoking

well yeah we i think like the thing that the thing we have to do is if when chris is working on getting a visa we're definitely going to do a show in new york and we have to plan it around going to gebhards when he is doing his fucking show.

All three of us at

the same moment was Oki where the magic happened.

Yeah, and we can actually go and just like meet him and hang out.

I mean, we have to get out into the basement, obviously.

I've been playing a lot of Hitman.

I know how to like infiltrate places.

All right, we'll see you all next week.

I don't know what we're doing.

Goodbye.

Bye.