Guys: Episode 109 - TooL Guys with Wolf Parade

Hey, sorry, I know you want to listen to the episode, but I just heard this crazy news story.

Apparently, the Geysery is opening again on March 18th.

That's the store where we sell our products, thegysery.com.

We have Challenge Coins 250.

We have a t-shirt from Rory Blank, who made the logo for guys.

And we have the Violence Gang hoodie coming back in a limited run.

If you missed out the first time, we will be selling...

a little bit early to the patrons.

I don't say that that because I want to trick you into signing up to the Patreon.

I just want you to know that the challenge coins probably will sell out before they go on sale to the public because there's only 250 of them.

So there it is.

There's the heads up.

Go over to theguysery.com, check out what we got going on, and listen to this episode of Guys.

It's Tool Guys with Wolf Parade.

Enjoy.

Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys where I considered trying to sing like Maynard James Keenan, but as a guy that's not a big fan of Tool, the one thing that is very good of them is their singer.

So I can't do it.

And I would like to welcome Mr.

A Perfect Circle, Chris James.

Hi.

that's another band right did they like yeah it's his band it's more poppy oh i see because i've definitely heard of i i think i maybe have mentioned before my older brother was a fan of tool and a perfect circle he liked both of them so i've heard both i've heard both their music and

i think i might like

pussifer i think i might like A Perfect Circle better.

I think that might be true that I actually do like them better than Tool, but I have a very, very limited knowledge of it.

So you can only goof on a band by bringing another band on the show, as we've said.

So we have Arlen and Dan from Wolf Parade.

Hi guys.

What's up?

You guys tool fans?

Either one of you a Tool fan?

I was when I was about 15 and

then it stopped being a Tool fan.

Wow.

I think I discovered

more interesting music.

Same for me.

I pretended to like Tool because there were a couple of girls in my high school who were a little bit older than me that had anemia, I think, or maybe the one before it.

And I was like, if they like tool and I pretend to like tool, and I like music that's adjacent to tool already, so it's not a stretch for me to pretend to like it, maybe they'll kiss me.

And it's not, and it's not like

it's not so, it wasn't so bad too because you listened to music that was sort of in that genre.

It wasn't like you could stand listening to it, or were you really putting yourself through it?

No, you can stand listening.

I thought it was cool.

Yeah.

dan is the first guy that ever pretended to be into tool for a woman

i'm like like uh like a woman pretending to be into rush or guided by voices you know

yeah yeah you're like oh i guess if they like i mean listen they might not even like that one thing i will say

Tool shirts are cool, I think.

I think I do like their shirts.

You think like they have they have good designs, you think?

I think so.

Yeah, yeah.

I like the designs of their shirts.

But like, for me, it came out when I was into, you know, what I was into at the time, New Metal.

Well, actually, I was more into like grunge and hip-hop.

And

there was a short, very short period of time where I was like a grunge guy.

Yeah, they're kind of like

a ghost grunge band.

Like after, you know, Nirvana kind of ended.

And then it was like, I remember listening to them in like Primus at the same time.

They kind of fit in.

It's just like,

you know, kind of like tricky, like Prague, but kind of dark and weird.

You know, that real kind of like 80s, 90s, you know, Church of the Sun genius.

Yeah.

What's pork soda?

Is that pork soda rocks?

It's a great album by Primus.

I liked Primus a lot.

Like, I've seen him a bunch.

I actually left my wife home pregnant to see Primus play Frizzle Fry in its entirety.

The day after I left her home pregnant to see the darkness.

I went like two days in a row.

Imagine the conversation on the second concert.

You know what I mean?

Like, he's already going the night before to see someone, and then he's got to say, oh, honey.

Just waking her up.

Waking your wife up at 2.30 a.m.

Waking your pregnant wife up and being like, honey, wake up, wake up, wake up.

Less.

And Sherry was a race car driver, played the most amazing solo.

Usually it goes like this.

But this time.

This is so early in the guys are going to go around and play their whole album time.

And it was Frizzle Fry.

And I'm such a huge fan of Too Many Puppies, the song, that just I felt like I had to be there.

I like like four songs off that album, but I felt like I needed to be there.

Like it was a historic event.

And I always try to make,

it's hard.

I always try to make sure I'm going to like historic event.

concerts.

You know what I mean?

Like I saw Woodstock 99.

Yeah, I saw Woodstock 99.

I went to, like, I also do that with like sports.

I'll go to sports, wrestling.

I went to very important wrestling shows.

Like, I want to be in the building for like historically significant.

Yeah,

I think that's quite normal.

Yeah, that that's uh I think I guess it's it's kind of hard to know what is going to be a culturally significant show sometimes when it comes to like music, I guess, but sometimes it's not.

Like, you know, like, I guess a Woodstock 99 was going to that was culturally significant chris yeah i agree and you could tell it would be in one way or the other you know what i mean so i can get going to that one for sure yeah so uh and i you know the funny thing about me going to woodstock 99 is one of the main reasons i really went is because i watched woodstock 94 on mtv like the whole time it was kind of the first time i'd ever seen a festival or a concert or any sort of live event and i'll never forget the nine inch nail set from Woodstock 94, where they're throwing mud at the stage, and they're throwing mud back out at the audience.

One of the coolest things I've ever seen.

And I really

March of the Pigs era, kind of.

Yes, yes, yes.

And I really, really expected Woodstock 99 to be that.

And to tell you the truth, people did throw mud at each other.

But the thing was, it didn't rain.

And the mud was all by the port-a-potties that they were throwing at each other.

So you had to avoid that mud.

Yeah, that was a different thing.

I'm not not sure if it's mud or yeah, yeah, that's and I have to ask this because I've obviously

weird and say I like you guys.

I think you guys are great musicians and a great band.

What was the first concert that you guys each went to?

You probably answered it a million times, but I'm curious.

What was yours, Rolling?

Well, my old man was like, uh,

used to do live sound, so I was going to concerts.

I think I saw like the nylons when I was like two years old, which is

so cool yeah

i want to say this before arlen i want to tell you the first concert i went to was so cool

but now it's people are like oh that's uncool the first show i ever saw was corn

and it was at a small venue well okay dan

it tells this story like it's

a

what is it 12 000 cap venue yeah

that's fucking small for corn.

That is small for corn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they were opening for Megadeth there.

Oh, wow.

Oh, that's a big guy that I fucking tricked myself into liking when I was a teenager.

That guy, Dave Mustaine, man.

I don't know if you guys have ever seen the Metal Years, but all you need to know about Dave Mustaine is just when he's reciting the lyrics to In My Darkest Hour.

And it's such like proto-incel shit.

It's amazing.

He is incredibly funny.

Like, I think, you know, people might remember Dave Bestang getting into it with men's warehouse over a $90 gift card for one of his fucking tour managers.

Like, he's in a straight-up fight with him.

But, Dan, what was your first show?

My first show was at the Duncan Community Center, which until very recently was home to the world's largest hockey stick in Puck.

Yeah, RIP.

Yeah, RIP.

Oh, can't.

Canadian.

Yeah, they didn't keep it up, so like they had to tear it down.

And I think Minnesota has a bigger stick, and we tried to keep it going for a while.

But it was, there was a Canadian band called Grapes of Wrath.

The Grapes of Wrath,

who were like kind of,

I would say, like the direct to CBC version of REM.

Right.

Yeah.

I thought it would be hardcore for some reason.

That makes more sense.

Yeah, yeah, adult album Cancon, like first wave Cancon.

But who they had, they had Art Bergman, who's like a classic Canadian punk rock guy who was in a band called The Young Canadians, who are amazing.

He was opening up for them, and I was 13, and I took the librarian's daughter on a date to go see this show.

You had convinced her that you liked Tool?

I had convinced her that I liked Grapes of Brad.

So I went to the show and Art Bergman got up completely shithammered and just like made fun of the audience, which were I love that.

Did a cover of The Grapes of Wrath only hit, like, just very mean and sarcastic on acoustic guitar and then walked offstage.

I saw,

before we get into tool, I will say I saw Deftones one time, lead singer Chino,

fucking

hammered.

He can like barely stand.

It's one of my favorite concerts ever.

He can like barely stand up.

And I think it's because like they were opening or they were on a co-headlining tour with Godsmack and they were kind of like, you know, Deftones like always tries to keep themselves separate from that whole thing.

And he was up there and he fucking weirdly sang straight out of Compton during one of their songs while they were at the band was playing the song and then he just started singing straight out of Compton.

And then he like, he was cussing out the audience and stuff.

It was so fucking weird, but it was so good.

It was amazing.

I, of course saw the i mean i i saw the brian jonestown massacre live a number of times and if you oh have you seen the new dig the new extended version of dig no i haven't

i haven't actually i might because that's just an ohio thing i guess but but yeah many times they i've i've told the story i mean i saw him just in vancouver alone there's like you can watch videos of it on youtube still of him storming off and refusing and saying that he had a bunch of uh skin heads waiting in the back for everybody it was really

loved.

He was really.

And for no reason, by the way, nobody was doing anything.

He was like, everyone was just enjoying the show and cheering for him to play his song.

So I feel like it was like something he was dealing with personal issues at the time.

Good stage meltdowns are few and far between, but when they happen and they're good, they're beautiful moments.

Like I remember.

Years ago, like maybe 10 years ago, that band Deer Hunter was playing and somebody kept shouting My Shirona.

You know, they're like, cover my Shirona.

So Bradford played my Shirona for like half an hour and then walked us.

I love it.

I think it's better than going to a good concert, to tell you the truth.

I mean, in hindsight it is.

In hindsight it is, I think.

Like, I don't know if at the time it always is.

Like, I think, you know, for me at least, but it's always better for the story.

I saw Deer Hunter at Richards on Richards.

I just want to say, which is my favorite music venue ever.

R.I.P.

R.I.P.

to Richards on Richards.

I saw you guys play Richards on Richards.

God damn it.

No, not COVID.

They fucking tore it down and built an identical condo.

So there are condos next to it.

And they're like, you know what?

This city needs one less music venue.

And we need to build the condo that's next to it.

We need to copy paste that over time.

It was a horrible day for Vancouver.

We all.

Now I have to say this.

In Ohio,

the famous, one of the famous metal venues,

which is the place where Dime Bag Daryl got killed, also got knocked down and turned into condos.

It was like,

it was such a, it was, I saw corn there, I saw Limb Biscuit there.

I saw a lot of very big bands at this very small place.

So anyway, let's get an idea for Tool Guys right away.

They have an album called Inoculum, I believe.

Inoculum.

This guy on R slash Tool Band says, I'm sure you guys have all wondered how weird it is that the new Tool album came out right in the very beginning of the COVID covet thing like they predicted it or something kind of crazy i know they're freemasons or at least one is i wonder if they're tapped into the illuminati pipeline sorry if it's been covered i'm all i'm really new to reddit i love that i'm coming in with the most like insane shit ever and then just being like oh sorry if you guys have already extensive extensively discussed this completely bat shit thing that I just made up in my crazy head.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, that's, I don't think, I've never heard that.

Of course, I know very little about the Illuminati, and I think that's by design with that group.

If I understand it,

keep it secret.

Is this like a feature of Dual fans?

Are they like kind of like

pinch on style like knowledge seekers?

You know, they're strange.

They're very strange to me.

Like they are, they do, I've never heard more math.

talked about on any kind of music.

Like, it's just, you go to their board, you could go to their subreddit right now, and there's probably five posts about time signatures.

That makes sense, which is crazy.

Right, right.

I did a prog episode, and they didn't do that.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah, so they're, they're really like, that kind of does make sense, I guess, because they sort of fancy themselves like real music people, right?

Like, they're not just casual listeners who are just sort of hearing the music.

They're listening to the music and like understanding it or whatever, you know?

Yeah.

So this guy.

But dark.

But everything's got a feel of darkness to it.

You know, it's like it's a little skippy, it's a little like, you know, like Jim Rose Circus, you know, like you know, it's a little soundtrack, like tricky soundtrack to when you're like nailing your cock to a board in front of a crowd and need something to like get people in the mood.

Like, that to me reminds me of like kind of tool, you know, like here we go, everybody.

Let's go on a journey of pain and elation.

I feel like it's the calculus.

I actually, I feel like they are Pink Floyd, but only singing about like anal sex and stuff like that.

Like, because that's another thing.

Like, there's, their fans do fancy themselves kind of intellectual, like, real music fans that listen to the real shit.

But most of the songs I've seen are like seriously about like anal sex and like gross stuff.

Well, if you like anal sex, hey.

More power to you.

We're not here to kink shame ever on this show.

Except when we do.

I would never do that.

that does remind me of the comedian who was like man i'm gonna start talking about the fucking shit i want to talk about he was like made a huge post about it and then he went up on stage and he's like i love like eating ass

well he gets a reply that says freemasons don't have that kind of power or influence that would also go against the aims and obligations of freemasons it's a maternity fraternity hated by certain churches because it views all religion as equal, that uses stories, ritualized plays to teach the virtues and encourage the members to be better people by self-improvement and being good.

OP responds and goes, We found the Mason, guys.

Yeah,

yeah, sounds like it.

Sounds like that person is a mason.

I know all of them.

I know about all of them and what they are and do.

I own morals and dogma, a 1775 Bible and a Masonic Bible.

I've read and listened to hours of Manly P.

Hall.

I'm adept.

I just wanted everyone else's opinion.

Again,

he wanted everybody's opinion on whether Toole knew about COVID before it happened.

And they were giving messages to people or something, and they were able to.

And it's due to their

connection to the Illuminati.

He's just a little bit of a message.

And the message was have anal sex, but do it in the middle.

Do it in 7-4 time.

You know, Yeah, do it in 9-11.

I mean, I think,

I don't know,

you know, we're talking about Primus and all these bands and how they're like post-grunge.

Some of them are pre-grunge.

And I think it's really funny that like Tool is kind of part of that alternative metal scene that even the chilies got lumped into.

Like,

before Nirvana, it was alternative metal.

And that scene was like, we're not like hair metal bands.

We're like thoughtful guys who are smart and are talking about smart stuff and edgy stuff.

And then Tool's logo is just a wrench shaped like a dick.

And there's

like passed for fucking like, is he horny?

Is he horny?

As somebody who's not super familiar,

he's just a very horny guy and I mean through his music.

Chris, all the songs are kind of, they sound very smart.

And when you listen to them, they have a song called Stink Fist, which, by the way, I played that when I was guest DJ when I said I troll.

I remember that.

I remember that, actually, because I've heard the tape of you doing your first ever thing.

You played Stink Fist.

So you were, at that point, you were a fan of theirs?

I just like the riff.

There's a riff in Stink Fist that I really like.

And

you were also a man of the people.

You're kind of giving the people what they wanted a little bit as well.

Because that might have been for one of your boys as well, because sometimes you were like...

You were playing some of the songs for some of your boys.

First of all, none of my boys liked tool.

Well, I hate my brother.

brother you were shouting out your boys on the show a lot you were saying like this is for my boys you know it was you know so the one where i did one for my father-in-law was a weird song let's take a look at another question that probably a lot of prog people get

uh introducing a romantic partner to tool oh yeah here's this thing that i think is amazing but you probably won't like it right away but it's super important to me and a big part of how i develop through my life do you try listening with them that's a lot of pressure on them.

It is.

It's the worst feeling in the world.

We all when somebody says, listen to this music and then looks at you.

Yeah, of course.

Anything watching a movie or like we've discussed this so much where it's just like, oh, this is my favorite movie ever.

And then you watch it with your fucking partner and you're like looking at her at your favorite parts and like, oh, right?

This part.

And she's like, yeah, yeah.

I think this would cross over.

I'll cross over to you with audiophile guys because you can see the guy who's into tool having the really expensive fancy stereo.

So he's like, Look, honey, I spent $50,000 on these speakers.

Now we're going to listen to Tool in silence for, and their albums are long.

I think the albums are like 70 minutes.

So we're going to sit 70 minutes in silence, and you're going to have to take in the entire experience.

And if you don't like it,

you know, maybe you should like it.

If you don't like it at the end, we can, if at the end you don't like it, we can discuss it.

But do you know?

Let me listen again too.

Yeah, yeah.

It's not a one-time listen.

That's the whole thing.

You tell us, you tell me what it is that you're like, oh, you're more than a fan.

Then we can go over it again, and I can kind of tell you and show you the parts that are really good.

Yeah, you got to go over

and revisit it.

You got to go over the time.

You sit there and be like, see, this isn't seven.

Now they're going to five.

Now they're going to four.

You know, women love.

Honey, I love you.

I love you so much, honey.

I love you, honey, but you're so fucking ignorant about time signatures, it's not even funny.

I will say I had, had at the time that tool was sort of ascendant i had a kind of reverse experience of that where my college girlfriend was like i need you to listen to this record in its entirety it's very important to me and and who i am as a person and it was a live ani de franco album

um

and i don't i know i'm not familiar enough with that music to know what that like what the implications are there or what that like if that was good or bad it's like uh kind of jazzy, like,

almost like crest punk folk, but like jazzier with high production values.

So you're so you're into it.

Yeah.

Very personal energy.

I would never do that to anyone.

I would never fucking do that to anyone.

Anybody.

Like, I love Wolfe Eyes.

I love that band.

I would not, after this recording is over, I would not go into my apartment and say to my partner, hey, we have to listen to

Rotten Tropics EP by Wolf Eyes.

I did it.

Oh, sorry.

I did it.

I'll admit that I did it to a girlfriend when I was 18.

She liked rap and she didn't like any of the stuff, the new metal stuff I was into.

Did you call it crap?

No, no, no, no.

No, because I liked like Wu-Tang Clan.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

You would come out of liking hip-hop.

So you really didn't have like a negative view of it.

You just had evolved your tastes to corn and limp biscuit.

Well, and that's what I did.

I was like always like, oh, you know, i played this song by limp biscuit to her and just sat there and she had to be like oh yeah that is kind of like a rap and i just think about it now i think about sitting in on the bed with her after probably having sex and making her listen to indigo flow by uh

limp biscuit which is a song where fred durst just says the names of bands too it's not even like a real rap so this guy goes do you try listening with them that's a lot of pressure on them how do you shut up about everything you want them to hear and notice?

Do you just set them free with it and trust them to see it?

Most of us had an older brother or a friend that brought us there with endless nights on a couch in a basement or garage.

How has this gone for you?

For me, I've let her know, brought her to a show.

The show blew her mind and I'm still hesitant to put it on around the house.

So he did, he might have done the perfect thing.

That's hard to tell.

It's really hard to tell.

Probably depends on the person.

Like probably everyone would react differently, but that does seem like a pretty good way to do it.

Going to a live concert, live music is amazing.

And generally, you know, we talked about shitty shows before, but generally, it's going to be a great experience and maybe better than an album.

And so, yeah, I think that's a good idea.

Tool is good live.

Like, Artlin and I, you know, like Wolf Parade, we played Coachella in what, 2006,

2000, I think it was 2006.

Yeah, 2006, yeah.

Yeah, and Tool had been moved from the B stage to one of of the main stages.

It was Tool in Depeche mode, I think.

And the tool set honestly blew my fucking mind.

They were great.

Their L C D wall, they just had static, like TV static on it, which is like, in retrospect, like kind of corny or whatever, but it worked.

And then they just, they just ripped.

Like, they were literally.

So you could, it'd be worth it.

You could convert somebody.

I think you could.

I think so, yeah.

Yeah.

I just, I know a guy that pays like,

it costs a lot of money to see Tool.

It's not a cheap concert.

It's very expensive.

And I know a guy that never fucking goes to anything if it's on a Wednesday.

If it's on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, he will not go ever.

He never, ever, ever.

And when you live in a place like we live, like a lot of bands

don't come here on Friday, Saturday.

Like on their tours, a lot of times they move the, they do the weekday shows at a place like this and then do, you know,

I mean, even Cleveland, they would do.

They're saving it up for Cincinnati on the weekend.

They're saving it up to play at the fucking Newport house, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

But like,

he'll drive, you know, one state over to see Tool every time.

And he's always like, do you want to go with me?

And this is years ago.

This is before COVID or anything.

And I was like, how much is it?

And he said the tickets were like $2.98.

And I was like, that is fucking nuts.

Like, that's normal now.

But actually,

I don't even think that's normal now, to be honest.

That's a very high ticket cost for someone who's not like, you know, fucking beyond, like, you know, one of those like crazy stadium.

I guess they are that, though, right?

They are that.

Yeah.

They play huge venues.

They play arenas and they do like a Pink Floyd sort of thing where like there's like like Dan said, there's a big LED wall.

Maynard stands behind it.

The songs apparently all sound perfect.

Like there's nothing sounds like wrong.

Like they just play the song.

That's what you want at a live show, is that you wanted everything to be perfect exactly in place, just like the album.

That's what I agree with.

I agree.

I'm with you.

When I take my reluctant girlfriend to a live tool concert, I want it to sound exactly like when I've sat her down on the bed and played all of anemia to her.

Yeah, exactly.

I want that feeling.

Well, this guy goes, dude, it's it's just music.

You act like you're trying to tell your wife you're gay.

You're really worried about playing tool in the house?

Yeah.

That's kind of a good point.

It's like, hey, man, you can just play the music you like around the house and just be kind of open about that.

It's not like some big,

sort of life-altering thing or whatever.

So

these next two comments, I think

I'm going to read you one comment and then the reply to that is going to show you a tool guy for real.

okay uh the the comic goes it really puts things in a new light when you realize tool is the only music op listens to i work with someone like this they told me how they like tool on their first day and i was like hell yeah but then i quickly realized they don't listen to anything else at all oh wow reply goes i'm unfortunately in that boat and i'm not

the only difference

unfortunately he wishes he could listen to other music but he can't do it.

Yeah, he can only listen to dual

amazing.

That's so fucking powerful.

I'm trying to think of examples of other bands like that.

No amount of albums.

ICP is a great example of that.

Oh, yeah, where people just become completely immersed in only their music.

But sometimes, even with ICP, you know, you'll listen to the ICP adjacent bands, maybe like other juggalo bands, maybe.

That's true.

That is true.

I didn't even, I can't think of any other music.

Like, there are genres that are like that.

Like, there are prog guys that will not listen to anything else.

What about Jam Band guys like Dave Matthews band fans?

Or Fish fans might just only listen to that music.

And because they have hundreds of concerts that are four hours long, they can just sit there and listen to endless.

amount it's all the same fucking noodling over and over again but it's like it's different in a way you know i i love these next two too this guy goes sometimes you just got to find the right new band that will have that quality of talent that you've come to expect.

So that sounds like a weird way to describe.

I'm just saying looking for stuff that I guess sounds good and I like.

Well, look, if you found the music, if you found the band that does music the best, that puts the notes in the right order the best, or has the best time signatures, then why would you listen to anything else?

That's totally true.

I get what they're doing.

I get why.

I was like this, actually, when that first first corn album came out and there was no other,

there was no other new metal at this time.

Like that album came out in 94.

The next new metal album was a corn album that came out in like 96 or something like that, 95.

And it was just like, there was nothing else to fucking listen to.

And that's all I listened to until Deftones.

I found.

deftones and then you know ended up having seen like the genre hadn't developed and there was only one band doing it yeah So it was the only band I listened to.

How long did you do that?

How long did that happen for, though?

Because I think

two and a half years.

Having a phase, a phase where you, I've had phases where I only listened to a band.

Whoa, something just happened in the back.

You guys didn't hear it.

I cut it out, but something did just happen.

Yeah,

it's okay.

Don't worry.

But yeah, I,

Brian, go ahead, please.

Well, here, let's, this guy goes, yeah,

I know exactly that situation.

We had a co-worker who only listened to some band called thrice, he was super weird about it.

Now, let me be annoyed just a little bit.

These tool guys acting like they don't know who Thrice is is insane behavior.

Some band called Thrice.

I'm not a Thrice guy, but I think everybody knows that's like me pretending that I don't know who Broken Social Scene is, you know?

Oh, I used to listen to Broken Social Scene a lot.

I was taking all this ecstasy,

and it was the summertime, and I saw them at some festivals, but I was just, that was like a band that I was only listening to them for months on end, but I was just taking so.

I can't stress how much ecstasy and MDMA I was taking at the time and how unserious my life was as far as responsibilities and stuff.

You know, I went back and tried to listen to it, and I'm just way too serious of a guy now to listen to that kind of music.

Yeah, yeah, me too.

That's how I'm actually, I will have already done it, but I'm reviewing The Bloodhound Gang, One Fierce Beer Coaster for the POD cast.

I think I'm too mature for that.

Broken Social Scene isn't a joke, man.

It's insanely offensive, and I'm not offended.

I don't care.

But wow.

Only the early broken social scene records are insanely offensive.

Like that,

you know, it's just their early work where they're doing comedy rap and stuff like that.

Yeah, yeah.

This guy goes, this guy goes, I did it for a long time because there was little else of the same caliber.

Little did I know.

I was just not looking in the right places.

Then he gets a reply: Yeah, people seem to think they're niche or almost underground, but in reality, they're the most mainstream prog rock band out there.

There's a whole genre that sounds like them.

So, I like that.

And then our OP comes back and he goes, Funny to me how no one seems to relate to the anxiety of introducing a person you love to something else that you love.

I don't have that because I don't do that.

Again, this came out on a wrestling podcast.

John Gabri said this too:

The best thing you can have is different interests.

Some of your interests can be different from the person you live with.

So you can do some things by yourself.

Like I'm not trying.

I don't have a thing where I'm like, I need to get my wife to watch wrestling.

I just watch it by myself and I'll enjoy it.

And like, I don't, I've never had that, you know, since I was, since I've been married, I've never had that thing where it's like, we have to like all the same stuff and I have to introduce you to stuff.

It just isn't, it's not healthy.

It's fascinating.

If she watched wrestling, Brian, what would she, what would she say?

She has watched her.

I know, but if she were there, what would you be worried about her saying?

Maybe.

Do you think she might be in your ear saying a certain phrase?

No, do you think she might be?

Do you think she might be saying a certain phrase?

Why is he mad?

What's his

powers?

She does.

She goofs on me, but this isn't true at all.

She says I always get up to go to the concession stand during women's matches, but that is not true.

I watched the women's rumble

with me.

I watched the women's rumble, by the way.

Quite enjoyed it.

The return of Melissa Flair.

Melissa Flair is back.

Charlotte Flair?

Charlotte Flair.

Charlotte.

I thought this would be a funny common thing many on this sub would have gone through, but as with so many things in life, I've woefully misunderstood.

And

this guy goes, I'd be more worried about introducing her to the fan base.

Well, okay.

That's often the case.

Yeah.

I love, there are a couple of bands that I will go into like a period where I'll only listen to their music, like Guided by Voices being one of them, because there's so many records.

And the fall.

I love the fall.

The fan base for both of those bands is worse than the band themselves, you know?

Often the case, often the case that you're like, oh yeah, it's perfectly fine to like that stuff.

But yeah, it does sort of give you pause every now and then because you're like, no, I like it.

And then also these guys like it.

But sometimes that just happens.

You know, there's overlap where i've always said this you're gonna have the same favorite favorite movie as a serial killer sometimes you know what i mean

you gotta accept

okay

okay all right so i've checked with all of them i have a different i think you of all people would genuinely probably have a huge amount of overlap with a lot of killers uh as far as your favorite you know movies that you like

this guy goes is it most vertical primate brian is it the movie most vertical primate i actually don't know what my favorite movie is because, as I've said many times, I don't watch movies twice.

Okay.

The only movie I've watched over and over and over again is Natural Born Killers.

I've seen that movie.

Yeah, there's no way serial killers have that as a favorite movie.

It's only like number one for a certain, you know, like era of serial killers.

I watched it after school for like over a year, just every day.

I go home, sit on a couch, watch Natural Born Killers.

It is a good movie.

It is a rock.

It's a good movie.

It's a horrock.

I don't want to say it now.

Very Ohio guy coded, I think.

Yeah, Rodney.

I took my girlfriend to see it.

We made out during it.

I just, I think that was part of me really liking it too, you know?

We kissed.

I didn't suck her titties at the movies.

Okay, no one asked.

Don't put bands on stupid pedestals.

You're way overthinking this.

It's just music.

She doesn't have to like it.

And if that's a problem, the problem's you.

And then this guy goes, I mean, if the show blew blew her mind, then just put an album on and don't say anything.

Just go about doing whatever you're planning on doing around the house while you listen to it.

And then this guy goes, that's the point, though.

I love this.

This is good, guys.

This guy goes, that's the point, though.

Tool requires active listening and the songs are long.

So this method doesn't work.

So she was not, she's not, you're just, you're just, your expectations of her are too high, definitely.

And if this is the case, like, it's not enough for her to just have it on in the background and enjoy it.

If that's the case, then yeah, you're being a real fucking.

I think she's not smart enough to notice how good it is.

I know.

I don't know what her, you know, sort of math credentials are.

So I don't know if she would.

She might be a mathematician, in which case she might be able to understand.

Are tool guys big like IQ guys, too?

Is there

a like

yeah, we just did smart guys.

We just did smart guys, so we learned a lot about them.

So they're like men's, like men's shit.

Like, I mean, this next guy, this is one of my favorite posts.

It's a longer post.

It's one of my favorite posts I've ever found.

And it does really give you some tool guy

mind.

This is okay.

His name's One Left Behind 19.

And he goes, I'm divorced.

So take that.

Take what I say with a grain of salt.

I love being divorced, and I can do whatever the fuck I want.

Hell yeah.

I got a race car bed, man.

Men go in their own way.

Fuck, man.

I used used to sleep in a fucking classic fucking king size.

It was boring.

So stupid.

He goes, also, take that with a grain of salt.

Anyway, the one time my ex-wife went with me to see Tool was in 2007.

I look back on that show, and the set list is fucking great, but out of all the shows I've seen, that was the worst experience.

I don't think she hates Tool, but I'm sure they're far down on her list of favorites.

I imagine she probably likes it even less now that you've divorced.

Yeah.

She had to say, like, I think Tool's like my 15th favorite band to make him happy.

Yeah, exactly.

He goes,

he goes, I don't think she hates Tool, but I'm sure they're far down our list.

We've been divorced for a while and still communicate some.

So, no, it's not I consider the show bad because of her, though.

My favorite show is the one from 2019 after we got divorced.

Might have something to do with it.

Oh, I mean, yeah, maybe.

I mean, honestly, if you were in like a, you know, a toxic marriage or whatever and you got out from under that and it was a weight off your shoulders, and you're feeling sort of free again, that would make sense that you would enjoy the concert.

So, my wife, my bitch ex-wife ruined the 2007 Tool show, but then when I got rid of her, once I got rid of her in 2019, it was whoa.

But he's saying that she didn't ruin the show because he's like, just in case you're wondering, we still talk to each other, so it's not like she could have possibly ruined the show or something while she was there.

He goes, anyway, if she's going to like tool, it has to build from within her.

If she's been to a show, I'm telling you, these guys are the best.

It's like religion.

It's like, yeah, like if you're, it has to be within you if you're a child of God or whatever.

If she's been to a show and likes them, she will incorporate the music into her listening.

It's not like a person that's never heard them before, where I definitely wouldn't start with a really long song.

My dad went with me for the first Tool show in 2006, and unbeknownst to me, he went out and bought the lateralist CD afterwards.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if you gave gave her the nudge, it's up to her now.

That's kind of, yeah, that's sweet.

That's nice.

And that's coming from a guy who

lost his wife.

Yeah.

Divorce.

Divorce herself.

He lost his lost his wife.

And who knows?

We don't know.

But he gets to listen to all the tools he wants now.

Yeah, he can listen to

all the longest songs.

He has nothing to rate his playlist.

That's the cool thing about losing your wife and like maybe your life and everything is that like, I don't got any responsibilities now.

I can just listen to Tool all day long.

Like, that's kind of the dream.

You know, you don't have to go hang out with your family or interact.

Let's go to work.

Let's go to Ticketmaster.

Let's go to our favorite website, ticketmaster.com.

Did you guys know that they do Ticketmaster reviews?

This could be of interest to you because I think you guys have tickets on sale on Ticketmaster.

So there probably are reviews of your shows on there, actually.

I don't know if you guys know.

Yeah, they review shows on Ticketmaster.

We got some tool reviews.

Five stars, top as always.

Saw them at the Ziggo Dome at the Netherlands.

I think I just cut this one because it said Ziggo Dome in the Netherlands.

I think I played at the Ziggo Dome with our kids.

He goes, and it was such a great show and experience.

Once again, the tickets weren't cheap, but as a fan, you can't ignore a tool show.

Ha ha.

Hope to see them once more before they give it a call as they're not getting any younger.

Well, yeah, and we all know that rock musicians definitely will not continue to tour once they're sort of past a certain age.

They know when to pack it in.

They know when the time is up.

So yeah, you got to get out there quick.

I would imagine maybe one more tour.

Rolling Stones,

I think they might be doing a retirement tour soon.

I might go to that.

I might check it out.

Finally see them.

This guy goes, best event of my life.

Couldn't dream of a better experience.

Best band ever, period.

It's not a concert.

It's a journey.

Yeah, yeah.

It's cool.

Anyone who says it's not the thing that it is and it's actually something else that's not a real thing, that's cool.

Here's a great one.

This is from the Save Mart Center in Fresno, California.

It's a three-star.

And it says, I don't feel like Maynard was into the crowd.

Promised to let us photograph on the last song, then never announced the last song.

No encore, started late, ended early.

I'd been waiting 30 years to see this band.

Wait a second.

Wait a second.

You're telling me that

you tell me that the band started late?

I am sorry to say I have never in my life.

Never heard of that.

And he sounds like this person's very mad that they couldn't take a photograph.

Because they're like, hey, I want a photograph so bad.

They're like, no photographs until the last song.

Didn't announce the last song.

No encore.

A lot of the sort of complaint is centered around them.

Just take the, you know, if you really want one, just pull it out.

Take the photograph really fast.

It's what do you do?

They hire extra security.

Yeah,

once you get the, you know,

you get snap one photo.

They're not going to kick you out for that, I don't think.

Don't turn the flash off.

Yeah.

They'll shine a mag light at you and shame you in front of your fellow tool fans.

Fuck, man.

They wouldn't even kick you out back before, even at small places for smoking weed and stuff like that.

You know, I feel like now,

will you get kicked out?

I wouldn't do it nowadays because I'm only vaping and I don't really smoke when I'm out in public.

But do you feel like when you guys are playing a show, there's a lot of people smoking weed and it smells a lot like weed and it's all totally cool?

Yep, it's happened.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, good, good, good.

I'm glad to hear it.

I just had a great phone memory of a Wolf Braid show where this was like.

This would have been probably like 2014 2015 maybe we were playing a show I don't know if you remember this Arlen but somebody was

with they were on their phone at the front of the stage with their back to our former guitar player bass player Dante DiCaro formerly hot hot heat and Dante like he he reached down and was like hey can I see that and then took her phone and called his friend in Nanaimo or in Vancouver Island and just put the phone on stage for the rest of the set.

He's just like, this is great.

He's like, hey, do you want to hear the concert?

So the reviews are going to take kind of a turn here

because of the strict rules against phones.

But they don't have the Joe Rogan fucking bags, right?

I don't think so.

They hire more security.

Okay.

Because I think the Joe Rogan bags.

The yonder bags.

Yonder bags.

Yeah, but I think, I don't think, I do not think venues are set up to deal with yonder bags for like you know 15,000 people or that's what that's what makes the mothership so special is it's got the infrastructure in place to deal with situations like that that's why it's the top club here's here's an interesting three-star review uh subject line says too loud

tool is my favorite band

these are such good critiques of a rock and roll concept i love it started loud too loud

tool is my favorite band however his heart wasn't in it.

I don't know.

Maybe he just doesn't like Fresno.

The sound was off.

Vocals were distorted more than the band makes them.

The volume was near deafening.

Otherwise, the display and light show was awesome.

Song selection wasn't what I expected.

They pulled out some beloved classics.

Will I see them again?

Absolutely.

Will I see them in Fresno?

Probably not, even though it's my hometown.

I will see them in Fresno because they hate us.

That's kind of it.

It's Fresno.

Fresno.

It's not known.

It's not.

I've not been to, I have a, I have a, like a comedian, a friend I know named Dino Archie who's from Fresno.

That's all I really know about it.

I know that it does have, it has like a big drug problem.

I know that as well.

But I don't know.

Is it just, it's not generally because it's not Maynard's favorite city.

I'm telling you that right now.

You know, you're in a band, you go on tour, and you're like, I'm in California.

And you have an image of what, if you're not from California, you have an image of what it's like to be.

Yeah, I'm pretty much.

Yeah, I'm

then you're not really in the California of

your mind palace.

You're in fucking Chico, California, getting a barbecue thrown at you by a meth dealer because

the headliner decided to go to a party and dragged you along.

Wasn't Fredsnow the place where we were with handsome furs and you guys played and then someone tried to steal the cash box?

Cash box.

And then the guy ran out and then all the bouncers from all the clubs down the street just beat him in the street and then came back and we were like

it was such a horrible like uh horrible up and down of emotions of like hey we need our cash box please like fuck somebody stealing our cash box to like they're gonna kill this guy yeah like hey you got the cash box back now it's okay you know you got kind of the the feeling that that was like the the thing to do on a saturday night was just like the bouncers coming out and just beating somebody and And I was like, this made this down as a, it's a bit of a harsh vibe.

Here's a beautiful five-star review of Tool

at Fresno.

This is from Fresno too.

Don't let this heavy metal genre of music dissuade you from a Tool concert.

If you at all appreciate music in a classical sense, you will be blown away by the genius of their music.

They are uber-talented, highly creative, and technical musicians.

What a treat to experience them live.

The performance and visual effects were outstanding.

I like the beginning of that one because it's kind of like, if you like classical music, you'll really like

sober, which is a great song.

You know what I mean?

This is again a sort of a pretentious kind of person, a little bit, but they're also kind of, I guess, saying that, hey, the live show is incredible.

They're saying it maybe in a bit of a pretentious way, but they're saying the live show is incredible and you can enjoy it even if you're not into that genre of music, even if you don't like it.

They just, they're technically great musicians who put on on a good show which sounds like is that pretty accurate right well yeah and here's a three-star one tool sounds amazing and has great visuals very immersive experience however their set list is just not good i've seen them i i love this like i've seen them several times and this is their standard operating procedure

and in this next line you'll get what what happened if they would play more hits they could be one of the best live bands in the world Fuck off.

They're not playing enough of their hits.

Yeah, that is a good thing.

Get to the taking care of business part, eh?

Yeah, that makes sense.

I was thinking, I was wondering what their gripe was with the set list.

I was hoping it was just like the order of it.

You know what I mean?

Like they were like, they had real technical sort of gripes with like, you know, you need to build up and move towards this song or whatever.

But no, they just, it's a classic run in the middle.

You don't play the business.

I love the end of this, too.

You got to hear the end of this because he says, if they would play more hits and better songs, they could be one of the best live bands in the world.

But they're holding themselves back and doing a disservice to their fiercely loyal fan base.

I'm calling fake fan on this guy.

If you're like, you're a fucking fake fan, if you are into this pretentious, fucking dumb, smart guy bullshit where you have to do math equations to really appreciate the song and like literally get divorced, then like you should be into the deep cuts.

Yeah, you should be embracing the deep cuts.

Yes.

Yeah, you should be able to do that.

that's what we're all excited to hear like if i'm a true fan of a band and i go and they play only hits i don't like that either you know what i mean that's why i do think that the when bands play the full album i think those shows are popular because of the the album cuts that the bands never play live yeah you know what i mean i think that's the only reason i think that's why that's such a big deal because a lot of times you go to a show if they have like 10 albums albums i mean you're really just getting your greatest hits if if if they have like a ton of albums like and tool i i think it's really weird to go to tool and say they don't play enough hits but also to treat them like a business and say like they're doing a disservice to their fiercely loyal fan base it's like these shows sell out arena and they're there's big they have the they play the biggest venues and they're doing as well as you can really do as a band so yeah like i'm not really sure what they're holding themselves back from.

I'm kind of scared of it.

If they're holding themselves back from something, I'm kind of scared of what that might be, like the next step, you know, do they take control of us entirely?

Nuremberg rally style concerts.

What's happening?

I do want you guys to hear this because I think for all three of you,

this will shine a light on a type of person that...

Maybe we think doesn't really exist.

I wish, she goes, show was great, but it felt too quick.

Played a few of my favorite tool songs.

I wish we can record.

I get being in the moment, but you also want to show a clip of the great show to friends and family.

And just for myself, I didn't like that I had to hide my bag in a bush because I wasn't allowed to bring it inside the venue.

Now,

the part about the phones is the reason I had to see this because like,

Not only are you never going to watch it, I know you're never going to watch it, but showing it to your friends and family is miserable experience for your friends and family.

Like showing somebody a recording of a concert through your phone is not good for anybody involved in the thing.

Check this out.

Yeah, you know.

You got a guy's head, a guy's head, right?

It's one of those things that feels like it's, it feels like it's a good idea in the moment and like it's important.

You're all drunk, you're maybe on like on something.

You're like in the moment of it you're like i gotta take pictures and videos of the songs i've done it before like back in the day when i'd be at a concert and then i'm like what the fuck what the fuck am i gonna do with this you know what i mean i'm gonna go i'm not gonna listen to this sound quality is fucking horrible like yeah it's it's not yeah it's like a useless thing it's kind of yeah it's like a like a like jackie the joke man merch or whatever you get it home at the end of the night and you're like what the fuck did i why do i even have this you know eli answers a question on Quora.

Why does Tool take so long to write new music?

Well,

it's the smartest music in the world.

And Eli also wants you to know his occupation thing on Quora is I have probably spent more time listening to Tool than watching the news.

Maybe not familiar with what's going on in the world, but he spent a lot of time listening to Tool.

While nine years does seem, I love this guy.

He's going to use a word that doesn't make any sense.

This is us.

While nine years does seem like an exuberant amount of time.

These guys live more intricate lives.

Exorbitant, I think, is what he meant to say.

Oh, I didn't even know what he was going for.

I was like, why did he say exuberant?

Yeah, he makes stuff exuberant.

It's a joyful process making a tool record.

He goes, these guys live more intricate lives than most.

I see that topic above.

What does that mean?

I'm not sure what that would mean that you live an intricate life.

Is he using the wrong word again?

Maybe intelligent is what I'm saying.

I'm just not sure what an intricate life is, really.

Precise?

These guys live a very precise life.

Yeah,

this guy is not...

This guy's weird.

I see that the topic of other bands and projects has been touched, but we are missing some key explanations.

Tool has been battling lawsuits and filing counter-lawsuits for the past seven years.

I believe their guitarist, Alex Jones, has mentioned this on occasion.

Wait, wait, wait.

I've heard.

He's definitely involved in some lawsuits.

I've heard about those ones

for sure.

Jones has also, and quite recently, mentioned an illness in very vague details.

All we really know is that a single band member is affected, and it could be terminal.

That didn't happen.

Nobody died.

Wow.

Not yet.

Well, this is from nine years ago.

Oh, yeah.

And through all the years of projects, lawsuits, and illnesses, these guys have gotten older.

There are kids in their lives to take care of.

All this aside, I do expect an album very soon.

Danny Carey has mentioned that the tough part, the raw creativity, is finished.

Of course, he then laughed about it because he said the same thing a year ago.

Oh, well, I'll just be happy when it's out.

That's a positive guy.

Kind of a pretty positive guy overall, I would say.

Well, this guy, he's got a master's and been there, done that, and always growing up in hard fucking Knox.

He graduated in 2024.

From Hard Knox University?

Yeah,

hell yeah.

And the question is, why does Tool sound like the musical equivalent of gibberish?

This guy's not going to work.

Oh, he's not very smart.

No, this guy is

dumb, sir.

Well, you must be one hell of a musician to put yourself on a mighty sharp stake.

Tool's comprised of four insanely talented musicians that have created an original sound like no one else.

Their hard rock, oftentimes progressive/slash classical compositions, seem splat, I love that, seem splattered with ingenuity when comparing Tool to any other band.

Gross.

Artists.

This is great.

Any other band, artist, or orchestra, unless your band is named Rush.

Hey, thank you.

Thank you for giving it up for our Canadian kings up here.

I was about to say this guy doesn't know what he's talking about about.

He sounds like a loony, but he kind of sounds a bit smart, to be honest.

Rush.

Tool.

Yeah.

All orchestras and other music.

It's a great, like, tier list.

So, tool fans, tool fans are just like, like, the worst annoying Prague guys, but also like

the dark Megas or whatever.

So

it is Prague.

I'm gathering that it is.

Of course, they mentioned it's Prague.

So this is, it is, it's Prague rock, but it's like, yeah, it's got that, it's brooding.

It's definitely brooding.

Like, it's got a darkness.

Yeah, I would definitely, I, the, the reason I don't listen is probably because

I don't, don't like Prague very much.

Uh, and, and I, I never really picked up on the stuff.

Like, you really do have to kind of understand.

Look, people like them that don't understand how music's put together, but I think in order to become this like huge, big, huge fan of tool, you do have to sort of understand, in your mind at least think

that you understand how they put songs together and stuff like that

i i like play music for a living uh i love to play music and i also love some frag rock and

i can't imagine trying to appreciate music on this level like i have no interest in it i'm like does the song rock yes it rocks i like it does it feel good when i listen to it does it sound good to me i mean yeah that is definitely how I listen to music.

I think it is kind of weird, but I don't know.

I'm not like a smart guy.

We discussed it on the smart guys episode.

So maybe for intelligent people, they're getting this like rush out of it.

Do you know what I mean?

This like feeling that I can't even experience it with my feeble brain.

But yeah, to me, it seems like music should be appreciated for how it sounds.

So this guy gets into a real weird stuff now.

He goes, Tool

simply stands alone.

I mean, Danny Carey is the quintessential rhythm machine.

By the way, whilst speaking of Rush, I wouldn't be surprised to find that Danny Carey may have been a

Neil Pert of Rush fan at some point in his existence.

Without forgetting to it.

I mean, that's a pretty, you know, he was a very famous drummer.

Arguably the most famous, complicated drummer in the history of drumming.

Yeah, so I would guess, depending on how it lined up with his life,

if he's a certain age, that he would almost certainly have been a fan.

Yeah.

Without forgetting to at least mention the intricate and mostly morbid vocals of frontman

Keenan Maynard James.

His name's Maynard James Keenan, so he kind of got that wrong, but that's fine.

It would be virtually impossible.

Having one of the most distinct vocal styles with his operatic type power reticent of the late Freddie Mercury of Queen, tools easily in the rankings of the undisputed heavyweight title of the world.

That's weird.

It's just written I, you know, we live in a world now where we have to ask if it's written by AI because of the mix-up on the name.

It makes me think that it could possibly, and this does seem like it could be an AI post.

It did spell operatic O-P-E-R-T-I-C.

See, this does AI.

I don't think it's AI.

I don't think AI spells words that wrong.

Yeah.

I maybe it depends on which one you're using.

Maybe it's using a really bad AI.

the cheapest one to even use the slanderous term gibberish when referring to an artist such as cool is incredulous and leaves you slightly at a disadvantage when it comes to criticizing music i would perhaps stick with something more novice like let's say a donuts no wait

i thought they were going to say another band but you're saying you can't even understand music at all just eat a donut just go eat a donut you caveman you know you can't understand sounds Just go shovel a donut into your face.

Go eat a donut and critique that, you dumb fuck.

Yeah, see if you can figure out if a donut is good or not, you idiot.

No offense, my friend.

But having personally seen Tool for the first time, never even knowing who they were, and witnessing them perform in Atlanta in 1992 at Lollapalooza amongst award-winning artists like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, Rage Against the Machine, Iced Tease Body Count, The only thing I can remember from that concert was saying, who is that band?

They just stood out so much.

And that band just happened to be Tool.

Well, fair enough.

Hey, listen,

all of you guys have agreed that they do play a great live concert.

They did it.

Yeah, so that could happen.

That could happen.

That's a fair.

Yeah.

Maynard Jane James Keenan wrote a book called A Perfect Union of Contrary Things.

Now, I need to show you guys the cover of his book.

you need to see the cover of his book.

So, this is the cover of his book.

Oh, come on, man.

Fucking the dark professor, but the font is like

a sub-Harry Potter series.

Yeah,

it's totally.

It's totally.

It looks like a Harry Potter book.

Like, he's like some really lame fucking villain in the Harry Potter series.

This is a, this is, this is really, this is Gervais level as far as I'm concerned.

This is Gervais.

That's straight up fucking Garth Marenghi's Dark Place.

Yeah, man, totally.

That really, really does look like Garth Marangi's Dark Place.

That is so embarrassing to put that out there.

You know what I mean?

Well, it depends.

I don't know him at all.

No, he is not kidding.

Like, there's no part of him at all that's maybe doing a little bit of a tongue-in-cheek on it based on the fandom or something.

You're saying that he, like,

what is the book about?

Can you, like, what is the book?

It's about him.

It's like a biography.

An autobiography.

He wrote it?

Yeah, an autobiography.

Well, somebody helped him write it.

That always, always is the case, I think.

I always love to bring this up, too, for everybody.

The lead singer of Slipknot also wrote a book that has like the same vibe of a cover that I always like to show people.

It's called Seven Deadly Sins.

Oh, yeah.

And he has a...

He has devil horns on, and he's got a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and he's holding a bourbon, probably.

Probably not Pappy.

Not Pappy, which, by the way, this is, I want to shout out.

My premier, David Eby of British Columbia, has said that we will stop getting liquor from America into Canada due to this tariff war.

This is prohibition.

Due to this tariff war, that means, that's right, daddy can't get his Pappy anymore.

Let's get this figured out, politicians, please.

We need to keep the Pappy flowing up north.

I'll mail it to you, Chris.

Hopefully, you'll be in jail for 10 years if you try to mail me Pappy in the new world, brother.

That's true.

I'll drive it to you.

Amazon customer gave it five stars.

Okay.

This is giving, giving, giving what?

What is it?

Oh, right, right.

Yeah.

Five stars.

Captivating and inspiring.

Oh, shoot.

As I read autobiographies like this one, I recognize all of the pieces of the puzzle that go into creating art and this thing we call life.

All the pieces of the puzzle I never knew about is the underlying platform that holds the intricate web together.

These guys are so good.

I have always appreciated Maynard, but now I know why.

It's not just some fleeting music crush, it's a bond of love that stretches beyond the corridors of reality into the metaphysical world where souls and lives are connected.

Now, that's not a good thing.

You wouldn't want to hear this review of your book if you were.

This would be a scary review, I think.

I think this would be somebody who has created a relationship with you in their mind that at some point could, you know, go south or whatever.

Paris parasocial.

Yeah, a little parasocial.

A little, what's a guy, what's a guy, David Spades

Skippy or whatever.

You know, all of a sudden just go wild on you.

Just Buck Wild.

You know what I bet is better than that book?

Is

ICP Behind the Paint.

I've read that.

It's a good book.

It's good.

And I don't think that book would inspire this type of, even though they have the same rarefied fan base.

Yes.

I don't think that book would inspire this type of scary review.

Brian, I do think also that like Behind the Paint is a book about like somebody that like almost anybody would be like they're interesting enough that even people who don't like the music would be interested to see

Yeah, what they do because

rags to riches and they they go through all these different phases and they build this entire genre.

And the whole vibe of the book is just like, wow, I can't believe this is happening.

And I haven't read the Maynard book, but I don't think it's like that.

Now, you'll hear more about it.

Believe me, there's some bad reviews that aren't.

Brian has, just to be clear, though, Brian comes from a Juggalo family.

Very much.

He is very much.

He's the rap as at, you know,

I would get a very, very VIP experience at the gathering of the Juggalos if I went again i've been once but if if i went again my nephews are both rappers that are known like in the community and like uh who have big they have a big setup at the gathering every year so i am and i was a juggalo

a little bit though not like in the way they are they're they're really

if you guys if you guys are you guys are if you're ever playing in columbus or the columbus area or whatever if wolf parade comes through there and you need an opening opening act, you contact Brian and see if his nephew is available.

Because

Brian is sort of doing manager work for his career, anyways.

I'm not managing Apollo Exodus.

See how he gets his name in there?

See, he's a brilliant publicist kind of guy.

Here's a great line.

This book is a must-read if you want to learn anything about the creative journey.

And a person who came from nothing into heights people only dream of.

He came to those heights through hard work, diligence, taking a beating or two, and not giving up.

It's romantic exciting inspiring and exhilarating to see the birth of creativity at its peak now i'm part of the web on a deeper level as i am energized with admiration so

ah does he make reference to the web in it or is that the second person who is yeah because he said there's an underlying web of creativity right i see

that like maynard has an underlying web of creativity and now he's part of that web

maynard is kind of like the mycelium of a giant fungus

Ah, I see.

So you can never rise to his power, but you can.

You can be part of it.

You can be part of some of his

power, and you can utilize some of his power.

Progressive fungus.

Here's a great one.

Here's a great five-star.

I grew up in a Pacific Northwest in the midst of a grass seed farms, tractors, and of course tool.

Wait.

I now have a graying beard.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let's roll that back.

Let's roll that back.

Farms?

Wherever you...

I mean, listen, it does happen, but that's not really what the Pacific Northwest is.

No, it is.

It's grass seed farms.

Oh, grass seed farms.

You guys are grass seed farmers.

No, no, definitely.

Like I said, there's things like in BC that happens, but it's just, yeah, I don't usually think of it like that.

In the midst of grass seed farms, tractors, and of course, tool, I now have a graying beard, an 18-year-old daughter, and through a series of death, divorce, disaster, travels, and midlife crisis, I find myself spiritually connected, disconnected, and ripped off.

Rarely do I find a book that makes itself a priority over the sunny day outdoors.

Maynard

James Keenan's accomplishments as a father, musician, athlete, poet, artist, philosopher, and husband speak volumes in themselves and need no acclaim.

This book is an inspiring marriage of achievement to creator.

It's not a motley collection of the dirty transgressions and indulgences of a diseased industry that lives and lives exploited.

It is a celebration of the value of self-respect, collaboration, expression, and character.

I didn't want it to end, but I knew it was inevitable.

I knew it wanted to end, but I knew it was a good thing.

I tried to convince myself it would keep going, but I saw the back cover and I couldn't trick myself.

I knew that there's an ending.

I sent an email to Maynard asking him to mail me some more pages.

Yeah.

That's not into it.

That would be cool if it was like a running, if you could do that.

You know what I mean?

Just a book that never ends.

You get the writer to like.

It's kind of like what guys is.

No, yeah, but like, you know what?

It's an actual storyline that's continuing on.

And then you like sort of...

If I was a really rich guy, you know, and then you get somebody just sort of on,

you get like a writer, you hire them and you pay them like full time to just be constantly updating this story for you so that you can continue to read it forever.

Does that sound like a good idea to anybody?

I think that's great.

That's great.

That's like Kanye putting out a record and like never finishing the mix or whatever.

Yeah, just keep it going forever.

If you think that's a good idea, please send an email to me and let me know if you think that's a good idea.

I'm sort of doubting it now as I say it out loud, so I'd love some review

that it's a good idea.

There's a two-star review.

Oh, no.

And the subject is a perfect failure.

Oh, ouch.

I am a huge fan of Maynard.

Perfect circle, tool, and pussifer fan as well.

And I thought this book was terrible.

The writing style is amateur-ish, and the tone of the book has zero depth.

It was a struggle to read compared to Marilyn Manson's biography.

This book is a chore to read.

It smacks of Disney, not one of the greatest creative minds of my generation.

Maynard, I'm sorry.

Sarah, sorry, you missed the mark.

This let me down more than 50 shades of pathetic.

Whoa, this is like when I read the just

Justin Pearson from The Locust wrote a biography called Ductape Dreams or something like that.

And I was so excited to read it.

And I read it on tour, and it was not unlike this review said.

Just really missed the mark.

Sad.

One more thing here from R/slash Tool Band.

Somebody asked, why don't people like Tool?

Tool sounds so amazing to me, but when I play it in the car with my family or friends, they all say it sucks and sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

Oh, man.

Now, here's what I think.

Oh, man.

This guy means his kids.

Yeah.

It has to be.

This can't be a young person.

I do believe that Big Monster, his name's Big Monster Penis.

I think he's probably an adult and he's trying to get his family to like it, which my daughter won't listen to anything with distorted guitar.

She fucking hates it.

And I think that's my fault.

First guy goes, because people are entitled to their own opinions.

Tickets are already ungodly expensive and hard to get.

Do you really want to make more fans?

That's now you're that's an interesting thought.

It's like, yeah, that's a real idea of like

music fans, too, is like gatekeeping for that reason.

You know, they get so big, then it's only going to cost more and be harder to get tickets, you know?

And the next guy goes, the next guy is, what I think you meant to say is that people have generally low IQs and couldn't understand a polyrhythm, even if Danny Carey himself drilled it into their brains.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

You guys know what a polyrhythm is?

Yes.

Yep.

Well, you guys are professional musicians, so you do.

It makes sense that you know what it is, but like cares.

Yeah, that's thank you.

Thank you.

I was gonna say, because I don't know what it is, and I hope you guys aren't thinking, man, this guy seems like a real idiot.

He doesn't know what was it called again?

Polyrhythm, and you don't have to know it to enjoy music.

It's the fucking thing.

Brian's got a kind of a polyrhythm going on, and his

poly.

Shut up.

Sick of this

fucking lies and rumors.

Did you guys see I bowled a 300?

Stop saying that to people.

That's actually like not even allowed.

I don't know.

Like, if the bowling people found out that you were doing that, I have a ring.

But you didn't earn it.

You stole it from your dad.

I did earn it.

And by the way, I didn't steal it.

But your dad gave it to you.

Your dad gave it to you, but your dad gave you because I bowled a 300 and they ran out at the bowling alley.

We all know.

Were you in Evansville?

No.

Then you obviously

older.

That's such a joke.

Lane with an alley ball.

That's a joke that you could do it in fucking the Sahara Desert that is fucking Columbus, Ohio.

You had to be in Evansville.

Do you guys know bowling?

Evansville is like the best place to bowl in the world.

They got a 300 there every time.

That's where your dad legitimately got that, right?

Is it Evansville?

This is mine.

No, I know, but before he gave it to you, he got that in Evansville, right?

Okay, so this guy goes, because people are conditioned to only like music in 4-4,

just watch how they get excited when the pot goes into 4-4 for a bit

This is so funny when oh my god, hey, everybody come over here just look down there wait, it's about to go into 4-4

It's gonna go into 4-4 and all the morons here are gonna go crazy

These guys are just they're worse than fucking jazz damage guys.

There's there's a

which is which is actually a guys episode you should do.

I don't I don't know how to explain it, but there are a lot of, I would say, session musicians and like touring session musicians who are perfectly nice people but have had their brains fucking liquefied by jazz school.

And they're on stage looking at the people who the people in the audience have paid money to come and see and who love their creative output and are like, man, part of them is just like, man, fuck that guy.

Like, I can play polyrhythms.

That guy doesn't even know what a polyrhythm is.

And they love him.

He should love me.

Those guys,

tool fans are like the evil, dumber version of this guy.

The guys who go to, they can't quite get get up on stage.

They don't have the talent to get up on stage and do it, but they still have that same attitude as those session musicians.

It feels like they think Tool mastered music.

Yes.

Like Dan said before, yeah, that like you found that

they do everything perfect.

Why would you need another band?

Which is, yeah, like a very weird way to think of music because, yeah, like obviously.

It just is less, less of an art and more of like something that you could give me an instruction manual and I could put together if you told me what a poly, you know, this guy goes, yeah, right, before the last chorus, it's the part that everyone starts dancing to because it's the only part that people find comfortable.

Oh, I hate it when they dance.

I hate it.

I fucking hate going to my favorite band's concert and when all the normos start dancing.

They're all enjoying it and it's like, you guys are fucking just enjoying this part because it's in 4-4, obviously.

As soon as it jumps over to fucking polyrhythms, you guys are going to wander around like Travolta in the fucking famous meme.

Yeah,

try to seize your wife starting to get into the concert you took her to.

And you whisper in her ear, you're like, yeah, of course you like this.

It's 4-4.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, hey, enjoy this while you can.

There's not going to be much more of this, honey.

Go get your thing in now.

Here's a great one.

Tool isn't for everyone, and even the boys never really cared to please everyone.

Tool songs typically require patience and repetitive listening to become appreciable.

That's not something that the vast majority of

music listeners are willing to invest.

The metrical dissonance that take a few measures to resolve may also not be everyone's cup of tea.

The metrical dissonance?

Yeah, the metrical dissonance that take a few measures to resolve may also not be everybody's cup of tea.

You know, it's not my cup of tea.

People who say things like that.

This is not my cup of tea.

People who talk about music in this way, you know?

Yeah, like music is obviously, you're supposed to like sort of lose yourself in it.

And it's supposed to be, this, it feels really sort of like a job to them.

Listening to music is like their job or something, you know.

You know, who else has metrical dissonance in their music?

Wolf Parade.

And we don't make a big deal of that.

Wait, you guys, wait a second.

You guys have metrical dissonance?

We do.

I was just thinking, like,

yeah, I was just thinking, like, call it a ritual on At Mount Zoomer is like four a four four over three four

wow or the opposite i can't i can't remember but i love that song so i guess i i'm a fan of metrical dissidents you love it you love metrical dissidents

i didn't even realize how much i was into metrical dissonance holy fuck you've always been telling me that well i mean i've been i've never had the words to describe it but i always knew i had this feeling that i loved when i was listening to music and i was like what is that thing i love so much and it turns out it's metrical metrical dissidents

i'm sitting over i'm sitting over here being like, I love this 4-4.

Yeah, oh, yeah, of course you do.

Chris, you should definitely make people, other people who don't like the metrical dissonance feel bad about it.

How do I,

what's a way that I can insult, like, what is, well, first off, what is it?

Oh, I'm sure you'll be able to understand it.

I mean, like, is it, is it, what, can you guys explain it in a, in, like, a.

Arlen, can you explain it?

You're the drug.

Well,

it's similar to this rocks, similar to Polyrhythm, where one member is playing 4-4 and the other person's playing, say, 3-4, and then so the beats are all matching in cycles of, say, 12.

So

what's the one, as they call it, is shifting

depending on who's playing it.

But they do meet up at certain points.

So it's

sat down at a whiteboard and and did a lot of sort of math.

You built this up

and you did equations and things like that.

Yeah,

Spencer has this big book that just says des carts on the site, descartes.

And he would just hit me and Arlen with it repeatedly and just be like, listen up, dummies.

Ben gets in an argument with each other.

Like, read the fucking book.

Excuse me.

It's simple.

And I would get metrically challenging.

Thank you guys for coming on and doing Tool Guys right after Tool Guys.

This is our Tool Guy double header.

Yeah, this is this is Brian's.

I want to say Brian's really proud of himself over this.

If you guys could give him, please send them messages, let them know how cool.

What is it?

We have

Tool Guys, Tool Guys, Fart.

We have Fart Guys, Art Guys, Tool Guys, Tool Guys.

No, Fart Guys, Smart Guys, Tool Guys, Tool Guys.

That's Arlen.

Arlen could have been on both of these.

I'm just saying.

No, tool guys.

Tool guys.

What's your brand?

Oh, Makita, baby.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, Makita Boy.

I'm a Makita boy.

This guy's old.

What's like Ryobi?

I love Milwaukee.

I'm a Milwaukee guy.

He's old Milwaukee.

This guy is old Milwaukee.

That's cool.

Yeah, that's not too bad.

I've got some Milwaukee, you know, they're not too bad.

But yeah,

it's unfortunate on the episode.

Yeah, that a guy called Everybody That Uses Milwaukee races.

And he just said that they're just, he's like, yeah, all the people who like Milwaukee tend to be the worst tool owners.

And then, of course, that's what Brian likes.

No, I'm, I use, what's the good one?

What's the really good one, bro?

Milwaukee.

No, no, no.

You know the one.

You're talking DeWalt.

I'm not going to go to the wall.

No, no, no.

That's not the garbage.

Jesus.

No, DeWalt.

It's the best.

That's the best.

No, it's the best.

DeWalt.

What are you trying to...

This guy's trying to

drill wood using his masonry bit over here.

All right.

That is the show.

You You guys got anything you want to plug?

Ooh.

Well, we got some shows.

Yeah, we got some shows coming up, but they're pretty much all sold out except for one show in Toronto

on the 11th of March.

Oh, and Vancouver one, too.

Oh, and the Vancouver show, too.

Yeah, Vancouver on the 14th still has tickets.

And the 11th and 12th, I think, still have a little bit of tickets, too.

Will this come out before March 14th, Brian?

It will.

It will come out.

It might come out on the 11th, actually, though.

Yeah, so if you're listening to this right now, there might still be tickets left, but they might be.

We missed out, you fucking losers.

Sorry, come to the show, and we'll laugh at you when we switch to 4-4 and you start dancing with a please do that.

Oh, stop the show and just like, this guy's dancing.

It's 4-4.

I'm going to bring a video camera and I'm going to videotape people who start enjoying when it turns to 4-4.

Then I'm going to use facial recognition.

I'm going to hunt them down and fucking ruin their lives.

We'll see you all next week with,

we don't know, but goodbye.

Bye.