2024 Ep 263 - ConCon is Coming

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Cause the Hey Mission Andy podcast starts in three,

two.

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One.

Ahoy to me, Sid.

Hey, Mission.

Hello.

Yes,

we could be in a band, but Sid says good morning.

Ahoy to me, Millie.

Jack, I know what we are, I reckon.

One of the rare times Jack's come over the top.

No, good, good, Jack.

Are we from a comic strip?

No, Andy's going to be Ollie.

He's got it.

I can't remember who's who, but we are.

Mascots.

Yeah, the Olympic mascots.

The Sydney 2000 Olympic mascots.

Sid, Hamish the Platyputs, of course, named after Sydney.

Millie the Echidna, named after Millennium, I think.

And Ollie, named after the Olympics.

Was Ollie just a torch?

Kocobara.

Yeah,

that would have been really disappointing.

You guys have going to be a platypus and echidna, and I'm just a torch that hangs around.

Torch, man.

Stranger things have happened in the world of mascots for the games.

That's true.

Ahoy also to Tara, who's in the Czech Republic, who used the very easy-to-use system, HamishNi.com to tell us what she's been up to.

Ahoy, boys, this is Tara from the Czech Republic, just checking in.

So I have to admit, the summer break of 2022, I believe it was.

I accidentally checked out a little bit too long for that break and I've only just checked back in.

Time got away from me, but I've come back now and Hamish is playing golf, which is shocking.

So I realize I have to go back to where I accidentally took my break too long.

So going in the past to go forward, but I am ashamed of you.

Wait till you get to Jack.

Yeah,

you'll really be shocked.

That would be a strange flash forward, wouldn't it?

But

I totally agree with once you're out of one podcast and it takes a break or it takes

a little hiatus, it just gets out of your system and you can not come back for years.

We don't recommend that.

There are podcasts sitting in my podcast app and you go, objectively, the people that host these podcasts are heroes of mine.

Yes.

But But I can't be bothered to say that.

So much.

And actually, the more episodes they put out that you don't hear, you're like, wow, God, so much to catch up of it.

You know, especially someone like me, I got no time to do that.

I'm already trying to save as much time as I can being fast and loose.

So I just want anyone to know if they are back in or they've dipped back in, no hard feelings from us.

Oh, no, no, no.

And if you are

listening to this, we appreciate it.

We hate the government-mandated break, but one of its benefits

is allowing people to catch up.

Like Rapcharge in Mario Kart, where you've accidentally left the controller

and you smashing against the wall for too long.

We allow people to get back in the game.

Will go faster if you're behind a Mario Kart.

And even in more modern iterations of the game, for those that play it on Switch, I can see Radio Mike just leaping at the window trying to get into the studio.

That's because it's talking about Nintendo.

Of course, you know, you can only get the good powers if you're lagging behind.

Yes.

You don't get diddly shit if you're up front.

You get a coin or a green shell if you're lucky.

Don't even bother going over them.

Usually pick your driving line, I would say.

Hain.

What a response to ConCon.

Yes.

Now, I haven't gone back and listened to what we said last week.

So I know we were fishing in the...

Well, I was about to say fishing in the wind, which is a terrible way to fish.

Fish in the water.

You can bird, I suppose.

Although I think fishing in the water is meant to be better on windy days.

Don't fishermen get excited about windy days?

Brings the fish to the surface.

It would make sense because it's the

ripples' comments on this show that we don't know.

The amount of retractions we have to do, we don't need to be just saying stuff like this.

Next week, all the emails will be like, what the hell do you think you're talking about?

The well-known that fish fear the windy surface and flee from the ripples.

You're probably right.

But it is exciting that when two weeks ago, Ham,

you had a tax accountant on and played a game with Jack and I to see if we could come up with as many deductible things as possible.

The thing that kept coming back was if it was part of a convention.

Yeah, conference.

It was a whole conference or a convention.

Is it a conference?

Yeah, you can deduct that.

So we were like, well, to give the whole of Australia a chop out, we will put on conference conference, ConCon, which will allow a tax-deductible, very informative couple of sessions or however long we would talk about these people's individual businesses with, of course, networking at the nearest golf course.

Yes, there'll be networking opportunities, galore, but that is part of a conference, everyone's favorite part of a conference, but there will also be the formal presentations.

And I think where we knuckle down, and I think this is the critical bit, is

as part of the ticketing process, when we get round to that,

we'll know the profession that everyone has going into ConCon, and we will make sure that there's, you know, 30 seconds on your specific profession.

Minimum minimum, yeah, 30 plus seconds.

Yes.

Tax department doesn't need to know.

They're never going to ask.

Like the ATO doesn't go.

If you go, I went to a garbage waste conference because I'm in waste management.

They're not going to go, how long did they talk for?

They just go, yeah, great, sweet, mate.

Jacko, you had a good time.

Exactly how it happens.

And that is a recording from a recent audit.

The lawyers here keep telling us to say to everybody, check with your own accountant.

Yeah.

The funny thing is, we had, there is actually a legal team that works for Listener who run the podcast.

They don't even know what they're scared of.

They just know this feels scary.

Yeah, yeah.

But it just feels a heck of a lot like three guys giving financial advice.

They're like, we're not even, you don't even know what the event is yet.

We don't even know how it works, but we just let it be known.

We're scared.

Say some things to cover us.

That's That's the vibe I'm getting.

And we're not giving financial advice.

No.

Well done, Jack.

Exactly.

Well done, Jack.

Really turned around from the wind and ocean stuff earlier on.

Good to have that crisply on the

transcript.

That'll come in handy.

What we are finding is there is an immense amount of interest,

which means we have to turn our direction to, or our interests into how will we put together a very concise learning moment for these different businesses.

You mentioned sessions before, Ando.

That's a good, I think that's a good area to start.

I don't think I've been to a conference.

Sometimes we've, I guess we've spoken at them before.

I don't think I've ever been as an attendee, but there are sessions.

They're often like there's the morning session, whatever.

I'm just vibing this out, but I think two half-hour sessions separated by a 20-minute refreshment and networking break, that's a pretty good conference.

Yeah, that's a great conference.

You don't have to eat up the whole day.

No, no, no.

No, and cut out all the networking.

Exactly.

Imagine how devastated you'd be if you come back from the conference and there was no time for networking.

So

one-day conference, two sessions.

There'll be sort of, yeah, like a late afternoon and an early evening session.

Generous networking opportunities in the morning.

Yes.

And yeah, I think that's loosely the gist.

And then content-wise.

Yeah, we'll be doing the presentations for you.

Some people, I think, yeah, some people, I think, thought that they would have to speak.

Speaker, whatever.

No, no, no.

You tell us what you're going to see.

We'll educate you yes taylor made conference yeah not to be confused with taylor made the golf brand although i'm sure jack will try and work that in somehow

hey just to reel off a few people that have shown interest because there has been i think we're in close to hundreds aren't we just getting the nod at 700

700 okay

would we be able to talk on marine science and biotechnology Yes.

I thought we would.

That would please Matt Cherry.

He said, Khan, boys,

all you need to do is make sure this is near an ocean and the tax man will have zero issues.

And we've already warmed up with the fish and the wind stuff.

That's right.

But marine science.

That's true.

We'll correct that maybe on the day.

So if you are

marine science or biotechnology, come along.

He's in seaweed aquaculture.

We'd cover that off.

Well, we'd be thrilled to.

Just in terms of

people,

you know,

some people are more concerned about showing evidence to the old tax man than others.

I've had a couple on my side of the fence going,

I certainly know if I could present or if I, you know, I'm allowed to go to conferences from my work if I'm, they'll fly me there if I'm presenting.

Great.

Oh.

But not as a participant.

I had two or three of those thought, look, we're not going to do that, but if there are people that want extra evidence for the tax man,

would we incorporate a section of the conference where you, where we line sort of 10 people up in the wings, right?

And you can come out very, very fast, one at a time, pose at the podium, pose at the lectern, and when you get a photo, a bit of photo evidence

that makes it look like you presented at the conference and you can go back with that in your hand.

You can just walk out and say, I've presented.

Yeah, or like, thanks for coming.

You can just say one fact.

Yes.

Because then it's not even deceitful.

They did present something about the industry.

Yep.

Or we could have people saying stuff like, you know, the refreshment break starts now.

And so they have presented a fact at the conference and they've got the photo.

Taxman comes knocking.

Did you really present that conference?

What do you call this photo?

Absolutely right.

Congrats on the TD.

Can we then set up on our website a performer

where people can fill in their own and we say, hi, fill in your own name, Daryl.

We would love you to present

at this conference.

I see it as only 10 people, you know, I would say the vast majority of the crowd is there to absorb facts.

But if you have to show that you are on stage,

then we could have a few openings for people to give some facts out to present.

Great.

And then they can print that out and send it to themselves and show their boss that they needed their

people more worried about the tax department than others.

Yeah.

Who have you got?

Josh isn't.

He says he works, his industry is the Australian Taxation Office.

Mate.

And he said,

surely an ATO man such as myself can write off a convention on tax.

I'm new to the ATO, but I'm willing to test this.

Definitely, because then if they try to bring us down, they have to bring themselves down.

And what was one of your boys doing there?

Exactly.

This feels like in ancient France when you marry the daughter of Spain, like just to form the

alliances.

We'll give a complimentary ticket to a tax office person just so there can be no sniffing around.

Yeah.

Well, Well, that'd be, that'd be, well, we can then be a choice of bribery.

It'd be good if Josh just bought his own way there.

I was joking.

Yeah.

Don't say the B-word.

Yeah.

No, I was joking.

He buys his own way there and it's above board.

Yep.

Would we do a presentation on someone just said if you do morals and ethics, that covers a lot of industry.

That's a good one.

So I reckon we could just pop, we do 30 seconds on morals and ethics.

Yep.

Danielle, she's a paramedic.

We'd do good of that stuff, wouldn't we?

Oh, yeah.

Definitely.

My brother's a paramedic, so I I can.

There we go, Jack.

That's on you.

Leave that one with me.

Thank you, Jack.

So, no, what a conference.

What a conference.

So, what we'll do then,

we will divide.

What a TED talk.

I want to talk to you guys about what's called the golden hour in life-saving.

Now,

I'm not a paramedic, but my brother is.

And he actually was talking about this at Christmas.

It was so interesting.

Here's what I remember from that conversation.

So, I get this straight we will have people register

and and and obviously they have to get them this very clear you're getting yourself to the convention it's a regular convention

convention

i think we're going to balance the we'll have some kind of pack for you because that's what happens with a convention you'll have a lanyard lanyard usb stick yeah all the good stuff yeah so they're paying they're paying airfares and then a ticket will have someone sign a ticket price for the convention yes they'll have there would be because we've got to hire the convention center so we'll like every other convention, we will, we'll, we'll set that up, but you have to get yourselves there.

Um, I'm not sure.

I mean, are they doing their own accommodation?

We'll work that out.

Yeah, or is it a package, you think?

Oh, we, I mean, well, I don't know.

I mean, do we really

straying into my least favorite part of this stuff?

Yeah.

Admin.

I'll do merch.

You do admin.

But, so I think the best thing to do is people register, right?

You go, I would like to register for ComCon.

Yeah, then, but then we need to give them, well, the com con con com con confirmation so you get so you're not going to you have concom con yeah which is com con confirmation yeah com con confirmation like that and then we'll decide when when we have a little wade through admin whether we're going to do con con or com

which is con

or if it'll be con con

con con con con comp to com

or like if we're comping it comping anyone yes there'll be a bit of there we'll work out that.

But for clarity.

Sorry, were you part of the ConCon CompteCom package?

Or are you just...

Conconcom Don.

And Digimon ConCon Con Doms in the room.

How seriously are you taking the networking?

We will.

But just to be really clear for us, once everybody has registered and we'll have a cutoff amount because it will only be how many people we can fit this certain, wherever we choose.

Yep.

Concon.

We will then divvy up all the industries that we have to cover.

Yep.

Yep.

And then we'll split them between the three of us.

Yep.

Yep.

That's how it will work.

And there'll be 30 plus seconds per industry.

Session one, break, session two, boom.

Covered.

Tax deduction, secured.

Of course, check with your financial advisor.

But

from our angle,

remember, things can have many angles.

But from the angle I'm looking at that, that seems sweeto burrito to me.

Ham, we had no idea of a rich vein of people that we're going to be kind of tapping into when it comes to extreme empaths.

We talked about my girlfriend being extremely empathetic when it comes to people, which is probably nice, when it comes to object, which gets a little bit annoying to me.

And just assigning human traits to objects.

I think the one that I brought up was that she asked me to go into the study to check whether her old laptop had finished transferring the information to her new laptop because she felt sorry for the old one, having to take a new one, all the new tricks.

Couldn't go and look it in the face.

So I'm so sorry I replaced you.

Look, Ando, there are so many extreme empaths out there, and we're the place to hear them.

We'll be...

I mean, are we empaths for then understanding what it's like?

We're more of a repository.

I'd love to be able to claim any kind of empathy from my side of the fence as the tin man, as my sister called me.

But yes, I don't think I'm quite in that category, but I do love hearing about them.

They're out there.

It has been a flood.

What have you got?

Kicking off with Sarah here.

I like to water household plants with lukewarm water.

I don't want them to feel too cold.

It's probably not good for me.

No, I think actually plants like cold water.

I watched something recently that said put ice blocks in.

Yeah, they grew up outside where it's all cold.

They're not having showers.

they're drinking

this is great this is yeah this is this is uh from Cassie

can relate to Beck's struggles whenever my partner separates a bunch of bananas at the supermarket and leaves one its own I always go and get it to match it up so it doesn't lose its friends

like oh we got four no we only need three no no no you're coming with us coming with us and or she writes or I go and put it with another solo banana so foster foster it out to another banana family this is this is what I love about all this stuff just going no none of these things have feelings I assume no problems later when you tear its skin off and eat it alive

no one bothering there

oh and did you eat it alive in front of its friends yes I did but at least it wasn't lonely this one from Jordan extreme empaths he says my wife falls under this category she doesn't like to use textes because she thinks you'll hurt their little noses

which now when i delit a texture i look at it and think i am using its nose squashing jamming its face into the page just so we could make a show its own mucus coming out and hopefully the nicest colour available i mean there's so many here's another one okay

This comes in from Darren because he's an extreme empath.

He says, I find when I pull commonly used dishes from the dishwasher and then I use them immediately, like I've got a few of those bowls where I'm like, you're perfect for, you know, yogurt.

I use them immediately.

There are a few that never seem to get a rest.

So like your favorite dishes.

And I always hear them in my mind saying, oh, man, give me a break.

I just got cleaned.

Can't have a bit of downtime.

But equally, you could feel sorry for the plates that never get used.

Because if you're on the bottom of the stack,

you're hardly any rotation unless you have a big family dinner.

It's true, Dad.

It's true.

It's the Greyhound racing argument.

Do they love to run?

Do they want to rest?

Are you stopping them from doing what they were born to do?

One version is stop loss in a military sense, where we don't have enough servicemen, so you have to stay on.

We're not letting you retire.

But the other one is, Coach, let me in the game.

Love it.

This is from Tony.

I once said sorry to my car for parking on a steep hill overnight.

Old.

Imagine the relief when you took the park break off in the morning.

Where have you been?

I thought you were going back early.

There's been a bunch too.

Yeah, I mean, there's a bunch too on Instagram too.

This is from Miller.

My husband was getting a knee replacement, and I cried because I felt sorry for the knee being taken out.

Yeah, that's no good.

Andy Hoskings, I'll throw this one more at you.

From New Zealand, ahoy to you.

My mother is one of the biggest empaths.

She knits teddies to donate to children's hospitals, which is lovely.

Lovely.

Don't think that tips into crazy yet.

She makes many and sends them all as a big bunch, but when she finishes one, she feels bad for it.

So she knits them a bed and a blanket to keep them warm until they're sent off.

That is, I mean, that is lovely.

That is lovely.

I got one to juxtapose that with.

This is, this is like, this is right in the zone.

Lisa, she goes, When I'm filling up the photocopy of paper drawer at work and it's not empty, so there might be like 10 sheets left, right?

I pull the paper out that's in there, I add in the new paper, then I place the existing old paper on top.

It's not fair that they have to wait another 500 sheets to get their go.

It's like a water slack.

Can't just have someone cut in 500 of a corporate event cut in front of me.

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Hey, Olympics, obviously on at the moment.

We are not the host broadcaster here at this particular

place we work at Listner.

That's a relief to hear because if we were,

I just get the feeling I've missed a heck of a lot of shifts.

I haven't been in all week and I haven't commentated a damn thing.

But, you know, we are part of the host network.

I'm working on the Olympics.

So in my capacity as for promotion for the Olympics, we can certainly talk about it.

We must.

Check it out on channel 9.

We must.

First up, let's go back to the opening ceremony.

Eddie Ockington, who was the

flag bearer, hockey player, flag bearer.

Co-flag bearer with Jess.

Co-flag bearer with Jess Fox.

I'm obviously very into my hockey.

He's been, I think he's 37 and he's still playing in the hockey team.

But I sent him a note to say, congrats.

But also I said, flag bearer, I know he listens to the show, flag bearer equals lost touch with the common man.

He wrote back, yes, good point, but flag bearer equals potential line to Jim Chalmers.

So Watson would, well, I mean, obviously.

Is Jim there?

Well, there'd be, there'd be, even if he's not there, there'd be representatives of the Australian government there.

And what I loved is just on the eve of the most important tournament that they have, the...

He's got his priority strike.

He's got his priorities straight.

I said, don't spend all your time trying to track down Jim.

Just go to the game.

I tell you what, Jess Fox is another great avenue because now is a gold medal winner.

Yes.

So not only is she co-flag bearer, she can go.

If there is some sort of reception when they get home, all the big wigs from the government are there.

No doubt she'll have the gold medal on.

And then Jim will go, gee, look at that.

And she'll go, tell you, speaking of gold round things

that inspire a nation could i float this past you yes um that's great i noticed that you because hamish was doing kayak training for a while for the coast to coast for new zealand oh yeah for this that was just jess was kind enough to coach me for one afternoon last year yes um at the penrith uh penrith whitewater stadium where i had to get certified in kayaking because There's no casual people just out at the Whitewater stadium

from 24 years ago.

So there's literally a guy who's never been in a kayak before, me, because there's 21 rapids or something as it goes around.

It goes around in like a spiral.

I'm at the end on the last rapid, like trying to learn how you stay afloat in fast-moving water.

So you've got one guy right, like day one of kayaking, and then the only other people there are Olympians who are just like getting ready for the game.

So there was a real mismatch of talent that day out on the water, but she was a legend.

Well, you look like a little league guy that's getting at half-time allowed to go out there and try.

It looks like she said a team.

How would you like a photo with the helmet on?

Really?

Thank you.

We've got to see Australia sing the national anthem a lot, which I love about the Olympics.

You get a little patriotic.

We are one and three, that new line that we have, which is great.

It made me think they would have been wrapped when they came up with that.

Oh, because it fits.

It's such a perfect swap out.

Yeah.

Rather than, I think the other idea was to add bloody in there.

Yeah, bloody.

Do you?

I just want to know what the process was and whether they did go to Rhyme Zone, which you and I have for this is rhymezone.com when we're trying to think of a parody song at last minute.

You're like, okay, cheese.

That is a website from 998 that has never been updated.

It's just like all text.

Exactly.

And highlighting.

We're going, okay, it's a special skill where a guy can eat cheese crackers really quickly.

So we're like, rhyme, rhyme.

Cracker.

What rhymes with stamina bear

exactly i just wondered whether at australia advanced australia fair offices did someone just crack his knuckles and go okay rhyme zone young

one

yeah that's yeah one young

free fun and free was what they may have thought about

fun and free would be good yeah it would be good no country i reckon has fun in their national environment

which is a shame.

That's a missed opportunity.

Everyone's got, like, you know, patriotism.

Like, half of them are about wars and, like, never giving in.

And, like, you know, the American one.

Why not be fun?

I think Bhutan would have happy because isn't there that thing that they're like the happiest nation on earth?

I'm still not sure if they're putting happy in.

Spain don't have any lyrics.

Just so you know, I didn't even deep dive because I was going to bring to the show my rankings of the top national anthems.

Turns out a lot of them are really boring.

But Spain, no lyrics, which

I go to pub trivia occasionally on a Monday night, and I was watching the medal ceremony for something, synchronized 10-meter diving.

China had won.

Chinese national anthem pipes up, and I go, right, for a country as large and as powerful with as much global influence as China, I would never have known this was their anthem.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

I was like, this would be a good trivia question.

You start an anthem and go, right, we've all watched the Olympics.

Whose is this?

Can we agree that the French is the best?

French?

I reckon French, US and

Great Britain are the only ones I really know besides the Australian ones.

Great Britain's not great.

No, no, no, I'm not saying it's the top tenner, but I just wouldn't be able to recognize if I'm playing that trivia game, I don't think I'd get, you know, of the other 194 countries, I don't think I'm getting very many.

If Mando's listening, who's the quiz master?

I'm just saying Mando.

Like, if you're thinking about next Monday night, I think that would be an interesting one.

I know we normally do a music round in round three and it's got a pretty standard format, but maybe for the Olympics, we could do a new music round.

Shake it up.

Quickly on on the diving yeah you know how they dry off there's a lot of like after you dive you have the mini towel yeah you know those like mini

camping towel yeah but then there's a lot of like you dry off then you get in the spa then you dry off again yeah it's very confusing whether they want to be wet or dry

the diving and also why not like come on it's the olympics bring a bath sheet like we're not allowed to use those at home because they take up too much of the washing machine but like treat yourself

it's the body olympics bring a giant towel that's true but that's not the most confusing thing about the diving mark tubby taylor commentating the diving was i reckon the most confusing that was so that was awesome night one night one him just going oh geez body no splash if you're happy with that like he was commentating it like

he was australian cricket test captain yep uh from well a decade or so ago yep and often this is back they just had um stump cam had just come in for the crickets you You could often, you just could hear what the players were saying on the field.

And he was often,

well, criticized by the team or derided by the team because he would only talk in diving analogy.

And the other, you know, and Ian Healy behind the stumps, he'd be like, We don't understand, mate.

And he'd be like, guys, we need to tighten this over up like a pike.

All right, like a pike.

Get your head to your knees like a pike.

And he'd go, Dubby, we don't understand, mate.

Not everyone gets diving the way you do.

So finally, he got his calling, which is hopefully after 20, 30 years of pestering general

get me at the diving i think you'll be impressed by what i can do i thought i'd be surprised when he was selling us air conditioners i was like oh wow like that's something i didn't expect him to be doing diving was the next level for that final one hand

um

ian thorpe commentating the uh swimming you said you now have something for us here i've had something for you guys here this just reminds me of when at school you came across a fad and someone else in your group goes, hey, I saw this fad and you're arguing that you saw it first.

Yeah,

Thorpe.

Yeah, my uncle went to Japan two years ago.

I already got a Pokemon.

Yeah,

yes.

I think Thorpey had a little bit of that as he was describing.

There's a guy called Petey from Great Britain.

He's a breaststroke champion.

This is just him and I'm not sure the other commentator, but you'll pick up what I'm talking about.

He is absolutely the greatest sprint breaststroker the world has seen and for him to come back from adversity and line up here in lane four is a wonderful achievement.

They're calling it the three PT, Thorpey.

I told you that.

Don't pretend.

I did not tell you that.

That's what they're saying in Britain.

It's a three-peaty if he can win it.

I've been saying that a little bit longer than that.

I've been saying it a little bit longer than that.

Than Britain's existed.

I've been saying it since roman time you know that i've been saying it since

i've been saying a bit longer than

that is great yeah that actually just who's the other commentator i'm not sure i should know because he's doing famous he's doing a good job but he was doing a great job of trying to

brush over it and move on to the next thing i think because he's obviously like you know he's obviously like called many sports and before you go on you know there'd be some level of performance anxiety too especially as thorpey You know, you're not trained as a commentator.

You'd be like, I've got my list of things I'm going to say.

Yes.

And he's probably, before they've gone on, gone, oh, I'll, it's actually, I've been saying the three PD, like, that's the thing that's been coming up.

Do you reckon that's all going to be...

Don't tell him?

Do you reckon?

Do you reckon that's sort of going.

Come on, mate.

I've said that off air.

That's the one bit that I.

That's my one bit of homework on that.

That's what I was getting at.

That's on my street.

That's the bit I was getting.

I've got nothing else written and you've come in and sharked it.

Then I think the defence then of the league commentator would be: there was a gap and you didn't fill it as it was.

I'm with him.

I'm with him.

And this is our last opportunity because it's semi-final.

We can't say it after the final.

He's either done or he hasn't done it.

And he also, he also completely, in that situation on air, when someone's going, hey, I told you that.

He's done.

This is seasoned professional going, well, they're saying it in Britain.

Yeah, he didn't like everyone.

Everyone's throwing it around.

So

to get someone going, well, I've been saying it a lot longer than that.

And I invented Porpedo too.

Heim, I mean, we've talked about this a lot.

We expected it to potentially be a Peter out.

We've actually gave ourselves a license to not mention it for two years because we know it's a long process.

But it

keeps knocking at the door and asking to come back in.

So it's to do with the mint.

And obviously, we suggested that not us personally be put on a coin, but the show as a great ambassador for dollar coins be recognized on Australian currency as a novelty coin, particularly because of some of the junk that the mint throw out.

Yeah, I think they call them

commemorative coins, commemorative coins, novelty coins.

Novelty, yeah, not a fargo.

They don't have it yet, kiss the cook.

Novelty coins, yes, but yes,

taking, of course, we know it's, you know, we know it's a essentially a note from the king of the promise to pay one dollar.

So we know it's a serious business currency, but we would like to be on a commemorative coin.

Yes.

That's not too much trouble.

Early strategies was just targeting where Jim Chalmers, the Australian treasurer, may have a haircut and trying to get in touch with his hairdressers.

Well, because it's his call, it's JC's call.

Sorry, just I know we've got a different top up here, but did get a note from an alert listener and an operative, Georgie.

Now, I know, again,

I don't remember us having a meeting saying our whole goal here is to just, yeah, target the goods and services that Jim Chalmers, the treasurer, uses, but that just seems to be the strategy.

Yeah, yeah.

She is his florist.

Oh, good.

So she says, I've got a,

just thought you'd be pleased to know I'm Jim Chalmers' florist.

Attaches a picture.

He's picking up a gorgeous bunch there.

Looks like possibly could be for his wife or something.

In fact, he's got two bunches.

Wow.

So she photographed him while i was just buying flowers she's chatting to him it's actually a photo of her chatting to him so it's probably from another staff member he's having a laugh he's entertaining everyone she goes i had an extensive and very persuasive conversation does he look like he's had a fresh haircut with him read the coin does actually look like he's got a short haircut he's having jim's having a day out he's gone from a haircut to pick up flowers for the house we've got him flanked we've got him flanked

Unfortunately, she then says, I can't say it's looking good.

Unfortunately.

What, which doesn't, that's not the story the picture tells.

To me, that's a treasurer with two bunches of flowers at the top of his game who's about to grant us a coin.

Now, I might be making a lot of money.

Is she going to

more detail?

She said she'd keep us updated if she's got any further sightings.

She doesn't say why it's not looking good, but

reading between the lines.

I don't think it's a definite no because I can't imagine him having that smile if it was a no.

Yes, that's fair.

I think it's just he probably highlighted some of the hurdles.

Maybe what we've got to say to Georgie is like, hey, mate, we love hurdles.

We love them.

We don't go over them.

We don't go like going over them.

We just like

kicking them over.

Or at least running around if there's a spare spot in the lane alongside.

Well, it's been two weeks since we brought up on this show that the CEO of the Mint was asked during one of his press conferences from a journalist to comment on us potentially getting commemorative coin.

He then encouraged everybody.

that has an idea for a commemorative coin to hit up the Australian Mint's website and email in.

Boy, did they get a lot of emails?

Great.

They've been coming in thick and fast to us, people forwarding what they forwarded to the Mint.

Yeah, great.

The Mint responsible.

Does the Mint respond or is it auto-response?

It looks a bit automatic, the response.

But so.

Some of them have been so great, the way that these emails have gone into the Mint.

They've been creative.

It also didn't feel like a template.

You know, when some people have like bots do it and it looks like a template, everybody has taken their own school, man.

Their own tact when it's come to telling the mint why this is the right thing to do.

And so we've just managed to grab a bunch of them, stick them all together, you can get a vibe of the emails heading into the mint.

Dear Royal Australian Mint.

To whom it may concern.

Hey Royal Australian Mint, it is with great gusto that I write to express what I believe to be the will of the people.

I speak on behalf of the people of Australia.

I represent 8.9 million Australians.

I must insist on the Hamish and Andy coin being released into circulation at the earliest convenience.

The Hamish and Andy podcast coin would be an exciting contribution to the economy.

For too long, have lesser coins been minted.

I'm sure you've had a lot of requests for a Hamish and Andy $1 coin, but I just wanted to add another voice to that idea.

They champion the $1 coin and really push the cash is king rhetoric.

Without them, I think you might be out of a job.

This wise choice could be the single factor that allows the Australian dollar to again compete with global global currencies.

And quietly, a bit more interesting than the Ice Vojo coin released in 2019.

A Hamish and Andy coin would be pretty dope.

No?

Bite the bullet and break the ice with haste.

Your loyal subjects are waiting.

We all want a Hamish and Andy podcast on a coin.

I await your confirmation of this.

Cheers, a concerned citizen.

Very important, do not mention Mr.

Ralph on this coin.

Otherwise, we would not be able to put them in circulation.

Those are so good.

So there you go.

My favourite, Jack.

There's many good strategies in there.

I love, I must insist,

this is done at your earliest convenience.

Nothing I like more than someone just deciding to turn the tables of power.

I'm afraid I insist.

I insist.

And the only thing that was missing from any of them is the angle where you go.

Assuming that this is good,

I'll only hear from you if there's concerns to the contrary.

Look Look forward to seeing it in production.

Off the back of this, Jack, here's a bit of a bombshell.

We missed a call from the mint yesterday.

You can only, again,

knows what a missed call means, but Carly got the call.

It's from the mint number because she'd been calling the mint.

1-800 mint, mint, mint.

That's long enough.

They didn't leave a message.

So it looks like an in-house number, not 1-3-mint.

Yeah.

That's brilliant.

The call was coming from inside the mint.

What a thriller.

So

do we try and call them back?

Well, no, I think we've now we play hard to get.

We've obviously been going too hard.

Maybe

come across his keynotes.

Give us a note as well.

Yeah.

We want a tenor.

I reckon, and I can, oh, yeah, we'll go, but I honestly can't see it being anything other than them calling to say we're firing up the machine.

Yeah, good off.

um,

at risk of, you know, we have to be very careful about talking about golf content.

Oh, yeah.

Um, but I,

you know, it has to be, it has to have a general appeal.

And I think this does have a general appeal.

But I caught up the other day with preferred magician of the show, Magic Mike.

People might remember Magician Mike from

the mishap with Jack's jumper.

Mike left his jumper with Jack rather than sending it back.

Jack unfortunately realised he enjoyed wearing it and contacted the makers of the jumper to say, we've run into a problem here.

Mike wants a jumper back, but I love it.

Could you send me one?

In fact, could you send, maybe you just send Mike a new one and I keep this one.

Yes.

Then on this show went, actually,

it's a little snug.

Could the company please send me one?

So he just started to use it as his own personal PA system for the job.

And that's all fine.

No one loved Jack for the Weaseling, and that's all good.

I was playing with Magic Mike, right?

We're out on the course.

A guy comes out of the bushes.

Okay.

Guy comes up.

There's a rustling.

First I heard a rustling.

I was like, something's going on in there.

Just one quick one, Ham.

Yeah.

Golf is a game where people cheat.

I obviously don't, but people do.

It's a shame because it's self-governed.

Yeah.

Playing Playing with a magician,

are there ways do you think that his skills would allow him to cheat more than

he's an honorable magician?

He is a magician.

He is an honorable magician and he uses his skills for good.

Like

a fall in the hole.

Oh, another fall in the hole.

How did that happen?

No, there's no Kim Jong-un-ing.

He'll only use his skills to wow and amaze those in the clubhouse as he finds decks of cards behind their ears.

and then so he hangs his music skills up in the locker room before he plays as a mortal he plays as a mortal man

as you as you would as you would want as you would want and i'm sure that's the problem that demigods and things have too that do have powers like hey today i'm just like you guys superman you'd go hey mate yeah you pull back today i'm flark ken i'm just i'm just a regular guy i'd like to experience the world as you do yes boy does he do a good job of playing as a mortal

sometimes even though you could use magic to get a hole in one sometimes having up to eight or nine shots per hole just

really just to make the rest of us feel so mortal

and it encourages me to play extra mortal to go

look it's just a couple of flawed humans spending an hour on one hole going back and forth

trying to get the ball in anyway so we're on this particular hole we hear a rustling guy comes out of the bushes right with a giant camera wow like a giant telephoto lens and i'm like

this is, well, I was like, this, this is not

unlike a paparazzi set up.

But he's like talking to me.

Usually paparazzis are just, you know, pests that are miles away.

You don't

you don't know where they are.

So he's, so then I'm like, maybe he's, maybe there's someone famous on the course.

Cause he's like, he comes, he's like, sorry, guys, one second.

And he's walking over to us like a little bit out of conversational distance.

Okay.

So I'm like, maybe there's, I don't know, like, maybe Trump's playing here or something.

Like there's like there's someone of note on the course and he's looking for a tip.

Not that we would reveal that,

but he's he's coming over and he goes, hey, just a quick question, guys.

He goes, do

crows ever steal the ball?

Like the birds?

He goes, do they ever swoop down and steal the ball?

And I went, yes, yep, occasionally that can happen.

I've seen it.

Very rarely, though.

Pretty rare.

And he goes, do they really?

And I go, yeah, right.

And we're on the T-box, which for non-goals, non-golves that's the bit where you begin from and you hit the ball from so I go not very often here like right here like you're at the t-box yeah so usually there's a human standing next to the ball and about to hit the ball with a big club more a crow would go for an unguarded ball like towards the other end of the hole and he goes oh wow do they really and do they I was like is this guy is this the windup like first my first thought was you two I was like what's going on here because this is like Maybe Jack and Andy have set this guy up.

And he goes, and he goes, and they really, they grab it and they fly off with it.

Yeah, well, it can happen.

He goes,

that's what I'm trying to get a photo of.

He goes, that's my dream shot.

That's his dream.

That's my dream shot.

And I was like, and I go, is that what you're out here for?

He goes, I've been trying.

I've been trying.

But I just didn't know if they really did it.

Well, they do, but I've got to be honest with you, mate.

You know, and I didn't tell him this.

I didn't want to break his heart.

But I had actually that morning seen a picture, a photo on instagram of a squirrel on an eagle flying on the back of an eagle it's like mate that's what you're up against just so you know in the world of drawing photos

you are up against a squirrel on the back of an eagle so i don't know if a regular old crow with a golf ball

i don't want to on anyone's dreams like dream the way dream big but it ain't the greatest

it's not like it's not it's not like getting you know like a whale jumping over a dolphin or something like that these this is a very achievable dream

um anyway we went on and that's when i did want to talk that's when i asked mike i actually remembered about the weaseling incident jack i said oh by the way where where are we at with that the jacket yeah and and mike told me that

it all seems to be well in the world like the that company has sent him

um the new one the new jumper yeah it did work and they sent me in they upgraded mine from a large to an extra large right upgraded

right and so then you sent Mike's large to him

no that large

that because Mike now has a new set of

jumper

yeah but

but but but why would I have to then go like he's got a jumper so the math still works out at the end of the day he's got a jumper

you have two and one of them is owned by him yeah yeah but he's got he's got the exact same I see he took a photo of it.

He's got the exact same jumper just newer.

So why would I have to go to the post office, put it in the post box?

Because it's not yours, I suppose.

No, really, he's got the same.

He's got

something bigger.

So you have an extra large jumper that those guys sent you.

That's yours.

Yep.

Who?

And you also have a large jumper at your house.

Who owns that?

That is.

Okay, okay.

That is Mike's

jumper.

This is why, like, this is an unusual wrinkle in the system because

you don't usually make a third jumper out of nothing, but we have, yes.

So regular rules don't really apply.

You're not being mortals.

You are being magicians.

You've made a third jumper where before there was two.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at Hamishandandy.com.

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