2024 Ep 262 - Marg Lee vs Kerry Blake

Speaker 1 A listener production.

Speaker 2 Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three,

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Speaker 2 One.

Speaker 2 Ahoy to me, Larry. Hamish.

Speaker 2 This could go a lot of ways, but it might be... It Marks Brothers.
Marks Brothers? Ahoy to me, Moe. It is.

Speaker 2 And I'm Curly. Yeah, of course.
There we go. The three Stooges.
Now, that's... I can't really differentiate which one was like the idiot one and which one was the one.

Speaker 2 Groucho just had the funny glasses, but yeah. Just basically...

Speaker 2 Quite a lot of inventive ways to carry a plank of wood over your shoulder, get distracted, spin around, clunky brothers in the head and bottom. Or the bottom.

Speaker 2 And that, again, you know, with it paying homage to associates in the same field as us who were legends of the game, they were able to milk that for a decade, I think.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think that was that were the absolute top of the pops.

Speaker 2 Haim Larry, recognisable for a large top bald spot and thick bushy hair on the sides. That is, that is you.
Well, that's not 100%.

Speaker 2 It's a large bald spot. I'd say I'm the victim of some very harsh downlighting from time to time, which can give an inadequate picture of the coverage.

Speaker 2 But if it's very, very focused downlighting,

Speaker 2 you're unlucky to get that. And guys, a lot of guys who know what I'm talking about, look in the bathroom mirror and go, hang on a sec.
Hang on, this is very harsh downlighting.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm falling victim to. Everything's a okay, and I'm still in my late 20s.

Speaker 2 Jacko Moe. Moe.
Recognizable for his iconic bowl cut hairstyle.

Speaker 2 And the leader of the Stooges. Oh, hello.
Didn't realise it. Mo's the leader? We can't rearrange him now.

Speaker 2 So he would probably have first choice of the plank. Yes.

Speaker 2 I'll carry the plank, boys, yeah.

Speaker 2 You guys just get hit in the head. Curly, I was bald and known for having an iconic high-pitched voice.
I was going to say, someone had a silly voice, yes. Yes,

Speaker 2 you do have an iconic high-pitched voice.

Speaker 2 Also, ahoy to Rhiannon, who's in Namibia at the moment. Use TamishNandy.com to upload what she's been doing.

Speaker 1 Ahoy, boys, it's Rhiannon here, Currently working on a project in northwest Namibia near the Angola border.

Speaker 1 I was pretty excited to download the latest episode of the hat prank today and

Speaker 1 had a bit of a drive back from the nearest town to the village where we're working and the car was full of

Speaker 1 topless women, babies, many, many men, all in their tribal traditional gear. and we listened to the episode and I was laughing the whole way back so were they now

Speaker 1 yeah they were laughing at me laughing at you

Speaker 1 for half an hour it was a pretty special moment thanks boys

Speaker 2 beautiful um laughter and hat pranks the universal language

Speaker 2 if only if only she could have shown them because I imagine there might be there could be a language barrier there or maybe she was on hair pods and couldn't be shared but I think if you could have, she could have seen the video, shown the video,

Speaker 2 no words needed. Big hats are universally recognised as funnier.
And a growing hat unbeknownst to

Speaker 2 a bystander. That's why we do it, Ando.
It's why we do it. Because it spread laughter far and wide around the globe.
Hey,

Speaker 2 we gave you an assignment last week. Yes.
So,

Speaker 2 look, I guess Jack and I are prepared for what excuse are you going to give us today that you didn't get around to using the Moon Walkers, these robotic boots that you don't put on socks, you actually clip over your shoes.

Speaker 2 More like robotic sleds that go under your shoes.

Speaker 2 You also don't exert any more different pressure or style than just walking, but it makes you go as fast as a run. Walk at the speed of run.

Speaker 2 It has eight little electric driven robotic wheels in each sled.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 they are an absolute stunning piece of kit. Can I just tell you boys? There is no excuse.
I have cracked them out, charged them up this morning, got them working. And I'm 20 minutes ago.

Speaker 2 I'm 20 minutes off my first ride. Like I'm buzzing.

Speaker 2 I rode him downstairs. I rode him downstairs to get lunch before the show.
Now, you know. He's got all these teeth.
I'm normally.

Speaker 2 And you're on time today, which maybe all you need is the speed of a road. I'm ahead of time.
And can I tell you this? Usually I would have to pick between grilled, fishbowl, sometimes ramen.

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 look, you know,

Speaker 2 boost is there, but I don't have time. I don't really have time.
Can't get them all right

Speaker 2 in the window. Grilled, close at the moment, reduced the option to, I was like, okay, it's going to be fishbowl, ordered fishbowl.
And was like, I can make it to boost and back because of these boots.

Speaker 2 So already the Moonwalkers proving that you're adding achievements into your day

Speaker 2 by moving around at the speed of a run.

Speaker 2 Now, the first few steps, I've got some videos that we can put online first few steps were a little tentative because you are learning how to do it oh yes looking at that now yeah that that i mean not that it looks cool at all wearing them let's make that very clear but that looks even less cool because you're now i was actually moving slower than a walk yeah

Speaker 2 you're moving slower than a walk and you look like a person that's decided to take a segue tour for the first time in a different city and doesn't really know how to use them and just petrified

Speaker 2 the smugness would come the smugness would come. Okay, good, good.
So at that stage,

Speaker 2 because you can switch them on and off too. So if you need to go upstairs or whatever, they can just go mute.
And do they lock? The wheels lock? The wheels lock. The wheels lock.
So in lock mode.

Speaker 2 How's that feeling? That just simply feels like you've gone out to get some takeaway food in very heavy clogs. And that's an unusual Jack.
I know you have Dutch heritage.

Speaker 2 Your ancestors are quite used to that.

Speaker 2 That's just simply what it is. You're just out to, you're just getting lunch in a one kilo shoe and that's completely.

Speaker 2 And do you have to bend down to turn it on and off, or is there some kind of heel click you can do? Great question, Jackie. It's a foot gesture.
So you move, you

Speaker 2 two feet forward, and then you put your pressure on your toe of your right foot and swivel that toe 90 degrees. Oh, dude, a bit of a tiny bit of a sore hip.
I assume that's from yesterday.

Speaker 2 Gosh,

Speaker 2 it just gripped him, dude.

Speaker 2 It can't be from the weight of the shoes. Don't worry about that.
Play on.

Speaker 2 But you'll also see another piece of footage here. Once I got out and

Speaker 2 watching and you get, you get them

Speaker 2 like, work.

Speaker 2 Wow, we you really do move

Speaker 2 at the pace of a run, but you aren't walking.

Speaker 2 How casual does he look? We are going to put that up on our pipes. Pick your pipe.

Speaker 2 It looks like sped up footage if you didn't see other people walking in the middle.

Speaker 2 I thought it was important, even though it was unsafe for the crowd. I thought it was important for my first run to be in a crowd.
Yeah. So you could see the comparison.

Speaker 2 Zero perspective and saw other people dawdling by.

Speaker 2 The look on people's faces, were they like, what? Yeah, this is way, way better than I thought.

Speaker 2 It's actually really fun. Were you feeling confident then at that pace? That's where this had been.
Yeah, yeah, you are.

Speaker 2 But yeah, you also realize

Speaker 2 I'm moving through this crowd. You just actually slow down your walking.
I can see why it takes an hour to get the hang of it. I mean, I was...

Speaker 2 That footage is like three minutes in doing it. So you're a little bit out of control.
You're a little bit out of control. You don't look it.
Cheers. How did you stop? So you do,

Speaker 2 again, it's AI, it senses, it learns your gait. So if you just walk, if you simply just stop walking, like it will stop.
It's not zooming you along without your permission.

Speaker 2 It must stop you gradually because you're going at probably

Speaker 2 how fast are you going for it?

Speaker 2 I reckon I got to the top speed. I reckon I got to 10 K's an hour.
Oh, it's 10 K's an hour. Okay.
Seven miles an hour, I think, is top speed. So that's like roughly 10.

Speaker 2 Okay, so you come in over, it's probably about 11. 11.
So you look like you're going quite fast there.

Speaker 2 When you decide to stop, when you're walking, because it it looks like you're normally walking, you are going at three K's an hour, four K's an hour. So you kind of can break and you don't have any.

Speaker 2 Within two or three steps, it pulls you down. And there's a few little awkward like clunk, clunk, clunk starter steps at the end.
But again, I assume that will go if I did do

Speaker 2 the required one hour of training on a flat surface rather than just go straight to a food court.

Speaker 2 When you are in like an open shopping ball with a very flat ground, have you tried it on even a footpath or anything else?

Speaker 2 There's a 3% to 4% incline up to boost from Fishbowl, which can tire even the most hungry of lunch shoppers. It's still a flat surface.

Speaker 2 It's an incline.

Speaker 2 What we're talking about is that is dead flat tile stone.

Speaker 2 Do you think

Speaker 2 rocks and stuff? Well, no, just if there was a bit of raised bitumen because of a root.

Speaker 2 I'm just looking down at the shoes now, and I just get the sense that they wouldn't care about that at all.

Speaker 2 They're very, they're very good. What are you going to use them for?

Speaker 2 what aren't i going to use them for really i mean you heard the testimonials the other week from the people on the show 30 to 40 minutes extra with their family they reckon it gives them that's true from that person that had three hour walk to work

Speaker 2 so i mean well done very real i think

Speaker 2 i think early door like early signs here

Speaker 2 early indications are that these are a hit i think we

Speaker 2 I reckon it'd be good to go for a bigger walk with them. Do you know I reckon you would really get the feeling? Along Along Bondi, there's the big like promenade, like where everybody walks.

Speaker 2 But it's also very wide, so you've got space to get around people.

Speaker 2 I think you'd really, I want to take him down there so you can get like a wide shot of just how fast.

Speaker 2 Do we get some pears, Jack? I am a bit jealous. Get up.
And we all do a nice, lovely walk along Bondi together.

Speaker 2 Join me. Be the first time ever.
First time ever I've had you join me on the other side of an impulse bike. I'll tell you what it reminded me of.

Speaker 2 in the year 2000 i worked at general pants co in a westfield

Speaker 2 and they were crazy days selling a lot of royal elastics um for various what are they

Speaker 2 they were a cool shoe at the time okay popular with ravers anyway i digress

Speaker 2 my point being we were inside the westfield right at this general pants there was a group of 15 year olds 12 to 15 year olds who would get razor scooters come inside the the shopping center and blast around.

Speaker 2 Now, security, they didn't like this and they had an eye out for these kids. But the kids would always go, there's no sign that says we can't scoot in here.

Speaker 2 Because, of course, razor scooters were so new. So new.
No one had updated the sign yet. So it was like, no rollerboads, no skateboards, no bikes in here.
But they're like, hey, show us the sign.

Speaker 2 Show us the sign, mate. As they just scooted and laughed at the security.
And I thought, that's where we're at now with these. We can get into Westfields.

Speaker 2 We can go anywhere we want and walk at the speed of a run.

Speaker 2 And there ain't ain't a damn thing the authorities can do about it because this is a classic case of technology outpacing the sluggish machine of legislation and sign making.

Speaker 2 Here's a suggestion, Jack,

Speaker 2 attempt to weasel on them. Yep.
Yep.

Speaker 2 Why not? I mean, they're 1500 bucks, man. I didn't even think of that.
Yeah, but just send them.

Speaker 2 You got their email now, Hames.

Speaker 2 You know how to weasel.

Speaker 2 You can do that. I'll be happy to.
Just send the details. See, that's the the part that he still needs.
I'm not your weasel assistant. I'm not your weasel assistant.
Surely you have like the invoice

Speaker 2 email or something. I'm not your weasel butler.
I'm not here to just give you weasel food on a plate. You have to do the work.
I'll tell you what we should do. Have we invested our Asai money yet?

Speaker 2 You know, we were going to invest in it. We couldn't really find a place.
I think we look at dumping it into this company. No.

Speaker 2 Here's my next question.

Speaker 2 When do you reckon your pair will be on Facebook, Marketplace, or eBay? Now,

Speaker 2 these are a valuable addition to my family.

Speaker 2 February.

Speaker 2 Haim, they keep coming in and it keeps giving us and all our listeners the advantage in social situations. So we should jump into some power moves.

Speaker 2 This comes in, I've got one here from another Haimish. Another Haim seller.

Speaker 2 Guys, power move for you, when you're getting off a tram or a bus, when you hop off, smack the side of it twice to let the driver know you're off.

Speaker 2 This makes it seem like they're your private driver rather than just doing their job and driving off as required.

Speaker 2 It's a good one because it's the same tap. It's the same tap my dad gives me.
On the boot.

Speaker 2 My dad, for some reason, feels like he should be the one to close the door when you've got in, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 Like he's doing the final goodbyes and stuff, and then he'll go, all right, put your arms in. Here's everything.
You're all inside. And then he he closes the door for you and gives it a tap.

Speaker 2 So if you're the driver, he'll close your door. Yeah.
And same if he's on the passenger side as well. He'll be chatting away.

Speaker 2 He's holding the door, chatting away, and he'll go, all right, get your arms clear.

Speaker 2 He sees himself as like ground crew.

Speaker 2 I'll operate the door. Clearance to go.
So I think I've got that vibe. Good nick.
This is from Tom Squire, a squire from the UK. Power move.

Speaker 2 As you check into a hotel, be typing on your phone and tell them that you're currently leaving a a bad review, but are willing to change it if he has a good experience.

Speaker 2 For bonus points, be sure to ask the name of the person on the desk because then they know that they'll be in the review. It's not bad.

Speaker 2 I mean, you could go a gentler one, just go, I'm actually in the middle of leaving a review. Like, what was your name? Because I'm doing the review live.

Speaker 2 Anyway,

Speaker 2 how'd we go with the upgrade? That's exactly

Speaker 2 that.

Speaker 2 Ando, this comes in from Troy.

Speaker 2 Troy says, guys, not sure if you're aware of this, but there's a great book called Surrounded by Idiots. I like to bring it along to important work meetings.

Speaker 2 Bonus power move if you can whip it out and give it a read mid-meeting. Ideally when the most senior member of the team is talking.

Speaker 2 Like it from Mark.

Speaker 2 He says, Power Move.

Speaker 2 Received an email today sent to myself and six others with some basic instructions about a change in processes from my manager. Gotcha.

Speaker 2 Immediately after, I received an email just to me that said, let me know if I've confused you.

Speaker 2 Good. Real good.

Speaker 2 This is from Imogen.

Speaker 2 It's a move her boyfriend's doing on her. She doesn't say this, but it...

Speaker 2 is definitely a bit of a jerk power move but i think we'll appreciate its power my boyfriend and i both think we're pretty funny we've been together for a while He's recently started saying, after I make a joke and get a big laugh, the boyfriend says, I've definitely made you funnier.

Speaker 2 It's devastating. It's a good power move because honestly, arguing it does not help me at all.
It's unrecoverable from.

Speaker 2 This is from Tom. Tom Russell.
Can be used in any group social setting.

Speaker 2 When someone asks someone else in the group what they do for work, let the person respond and then chime in with, is that the job your dad got you?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Doesn't matter what the field, it'll appear they couldn't get the job for themselves. Just think about my dad getting me this job.

Speaker 2 Tame, we had a lot of fun last week.

Speaker 2 with when you developed a brand new game involving tax and how tax ideas are interesting when making deductions, a lot of fun. And I think the ATO would agree it was a lot of fun too.

Speaker 2 And anything really brought up in the context of the game can surely be seen through the lens of

Speaker 2 mirth and the spirit of fun that we all have. We all have with the ATO and we recognize the great jobs they do.

Speaker 2 I think spirit of mirth is really what they're... Oh, the ATO said that it must be on.
It'd be on their wall. It'd be on the wall.

Speaker 2 In Latin, but yeah, yeah, it's on the bottom. One of the five core principles.

Speaker 2 We finish mid-year, not the end of the year.

Speaker 2 We're the ultimate nerfsters.

Speaker 2 How's us completely changing the calendar for everyone? You know, they love a laugh.

Speaker 2 In that conversation, John, our tax accountant,

Speaker 2 as you guys are trying to weasel through overseas holidays as a legitimate tax deduction, he did sort of draw the line there, even though, Jack, if I remember correctly, you made the very, very well-argued link between a painter going on a holiday to a colourful country and a necessary business expense.

Speaker 2 Colour researchers see different colours.

Speaker 2 And then I think the chef was going to the spice aisles again.

Speaker 2 The chef that didn't know about the supermarket aisle to get spices,

Speaker 2 he instead needed to go to Indonesia. So there were some great arguments made, but he did push back on that, on just a free-for-all holiday.
But he did keep saying... Conferences.

Speaker 2 If you're going for a conference, that's okay. He'd do it in a muttering way to himself, which made it think as, oh, of it

Speaker 2 came up time and time again it just seemed like it's the world's greatest tax write-off yeah conference it was almost like Indiana Jones wasn't it was a bit of an independent man he's like oh conference conference

Speaker 2 conference conference

Speaker 2 conference is good for networking

Speaker 2 so we think that we should provide that for everybody

Speaker 2 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And get away and for us all to be able to get a networking slash write-off conference because it seems like certain companies are doing it well others need to catch up here's the i think i speak for all of us when we come and we're going are you telling me that after say 20 odd years of putting in a tax return we've never utilized this conference yeah situation yeah surely there's other people in the situation that aren't utilizing conferences as a great way to claim some expenses So we don't.

Speaker 2 In a legitimate way, too. Because so we're not, we're not saying, hey, just pretend you went to a conference.
No, no, no. We're like, what if we can provide the conference?

Speaker 2 That will have a specific segment on your line of work. So it's completely legitimate.
Yep. Conference for all.

Speaker 2 The conference for all.

Speaker 2 And for all a conference.

Speaker 2 So anyone from any line of work could write in and say, I'm a painter, say? Yep. Will there be something that makes it legitimate for me to come to the conference?

Speaker 2 So here's what we're we're thinking. Some date towards the end of the year, we select a venue which will need a large conference

Speaker 2 center and adjoining golf courses. Well, you have to network around it.
So there will need to be some facilities.

Speaker 2 Golf course is a great example of a facility where people might enjoy going to network, but there will need to be a real network infrastructure around the conference location because

Speaker 2 everyone knows a lot of the great learnings really come from the other events outside. And in themselves, become tax deductions, I would absolutely argue.
Yes, so the conference for all, um, the

Speaker 2 it's almost like conference con, isn't it?

Speaker 2 Con con. Con con.

Speaker 2 No, but that does sound like now we're trying to con the ATO.

Speaker 2 That's for us, though.

Speaker 2 And imagine if we get away with it, Jack.

Speaker 2 It's not really the usual suspect. The red flag was tipped when he did call himself Robert McTief.

Speaker 2 No, ConCon's good.

Speaker 2 ConferenceCon.

Speaker 2 ConCon. A conference for all.

Speaker 2 Concon, a conference for all. Conference convention.
So what I think because this is early, early days, why don't we put up on the website, Ham?

Speaker 2 Register your interest. Would you come? What if it was held at, I know, for example,

Speaker 2 you know, I know Hawaii has some great conference centers. Oh, yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 2 Obviously, places closer to home. I mean, the Goldie definitely has some great conference centers.

Speaker 2 Port Douglas. That'd be a very good conference center.
We'll assess the best place to learn. Because remember, too, yeah, you need to be relaxed to learn.
It's no point dragging everyone to,

Speaker 2 you know, a remote island off New Zealand or something. Too cold to learn.
Yep. Too cold to learn.

Speaker 2 So people,

Speaker 2 so I'm, again, I'm a worker, like I'm a painter or a butcher. Yes.
I pay my own way to the conference so that I can explain it back.

Speaker 2 That's what we're providing for you. Yep.
So let's say you're coming to Port Douglas. I'm going to go to the colleagues if you needed to.
Yep. Coming to Port Douglas.
And if you are a butcher,

Speaker 2 you've put that on the form. I'm a butcher, so there needs to be some butching content

Speaker 2 at ConCon. And we get that and we go, yep, we guarantee at ConCon, everyone's profession will be addressed.
And could we promise an interesting fact? Like, you know, you will learn something about it.

Speaker 2 You will learn something new.

Speaker 2 You'll also get a chance to talk to people from other professions that's right but if you already knew the fact that does that doesn't matter doesn't hurt to sharpen you up no exactly that's why a lot of people go to conferences and just hear the stuff they're already new but it helps sharpen you up sharpen you up yes okay well don't think the atos are going to come in and go oh it says here you went to a dentist conference you know in in los angeles

Speaker 2 and and didn't you already know how to be a dentist because you've you've claimed dentistry for the last five years you're like yeah but it doesn't hurt to sharpen up

Speaker 2 right you're right so then we'll organize based on how many people are interested in professions. Sorry,

Speaker 2 can we? We can't go. Concon, a conference for all, a great place to sharpen up.
Like it is.

Speaker 2 It is getting long. It is getting long.

Speaker 2 Because we only just started this idea. It's probably six months away.
Often they'll get a key speaker. I mean, that could be us.
But remember Imran Kung to talk about Radioham?

Speaker 2 Like a famous... This is before he was prime minister as well.

Speaker 2 I think. Yeah, ex-Pakistani cricketer.
Ex-Pakistani cricketer came out to talk about radio, which seemed interesting as a choice, but I think that's... Well, he wasn't talking about radio.

Speaker 2 I think he was just talking about cricket leadership, some funny tales from Test Cricket.

Speaker 2 But then you could apply to radio. Yeah, and see, we could get a guest speaker like that.
And if they're broad enough, just talking about leadership, every job needs a leader. That's true.

Speaker 2 That's really true. Maybe we just go just keep it general, a very general guest speaker.
So if you're going to talk about leadership, talk about following as well. So you just got everyone.

Speaker 2 And then do you know what else we can do? I know we're looking at looking at, and this is, you know, again, six months, we've got time.

Speaker 2 If we're looking at

Speaker 2 places to hold it, you know, I was actually researching conferences a little bit because I was fascinated by this, the world of conferences.

Speaker 2 Not unusual for the big conferences, for the big ticket conferences, like cities will, bid. They'll go, we want to have, you know, Comic-Con here or whatever.

Speaker 2 So they'll be like, like, come to us and we could, we could, you know, yeah, we could sort of smooth things over for the red tape side of things. Oh, that'd be interesting.

Speaker 2 So it's like Singapore puts an official entry in to have us host the conference there. Yeah, if we're at that big surfboard pool hotel, absolutely.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 It's really interesting, Jack.

Speaker 2 Have they said anything?

Speaker 2 They haven't said anything, but I mean, I don't know how we put feelers out that we're doing a big conference and that cities should get involved.

Speaker 2 But let's just make sure we've got the conference sorted first. Let's not forget though that yeah this is a service to the people.

Speaker 2 It's a conference for all and it provides we are providing you the chance to travel to a location that we think will be conducive for networking. Heymachion.com for an obligation-free

Speaker 2 expression of interest. Expression of interest.

Speaker 2 Just so we get a rough vibe of what size venue we might be wanting and the type of businesses that we may have to include in the presentation that of course your business will be addressed.

Speaker 2 And this would be around about November 2. So let us know if this works as a sort of an end-of-year thing for you too before the mandated break shuts us down.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 that's annoying. But I think that's about when we'd probably look to do it towards the end of the year, wouldn't we?

Speaker 2 Sounds good. Sounds really good.

Speaker 2 This is exciting because we're going to play a special edition of this. Shitty

Speaker 2 Hey,

Speaker 2 off the back of a small thing I put together about people, would they recommend the Burnley tunnel on a rent-a-car form?

Speaker 2 Yes. A lot of people heard my mum talking about tunnels a lot.
And the regular feeling from my girlfriend and Horgs and stuff was, well, why are you talking about this?

Speaker 2 But it did show that mums have a great ability just to be interested in you no matter matter what you're talking about? They can get in there and fill the space. Yes.

Speaker 2 So the suggestion came in from multiple listeners.

Speaker 2 Gee, would Marg Lee be a great chit-chat champion? This is a competition we have where we test people's chit-chat. Who's the best at small talk? And we thought, look, that's a very good suggestion.

Speaker 2 She has a knack for. And we thought, who would be a worthy opponent? We thought, well, if your mum's on, might as well get my mum on as well.
So Kerry Blake versus Marg Lee for chit chat champions.

Speaker 2 We have both mums joining us now. Marg and Kaybo, how are you?

Speaker 3 I'm good. Very well, thanks.

Speaker 2 Good. Okay, now we know both of you don't know what this segment is, correct?

Speaker 3 I don't know what. No idea.

Speaker 2 No idea. Okay.
Mum, you don't know what we're doing, really, so I'm going to explain it, okay?

Speaker 3 No. Thank you for that.

Speaker 2 Okay. We play a game called Chit Chat Champions where Hamish starts a conversation.
It's normally one line. I then answer him.

Speaker 2 And you, both you or Kerry, you'll play it individually, have to jump in with the next line and keep the conversation going. You can't ask a question.

Speaker 2 It's a test on how good you would be in a social situation, say a party, at keeping a conversation going with complete strangers that you might have just met. Mark.
Right.

Speaker 2 So it's a tough one because we don't all, we also don't.

Speaker 3 I'm not good at that sort of thing. Tell you now.

Speaker 2 Oh, I don't know. You're pretty good with tunnels.

Speaker 2 I mean, that sort of, that sort of no hesitation is exactly what you want when it's game time, Mark.

Speaker 2 The thing that we have to stress here is too: for first-time players of the game, we will not tell you when to talk. It will be me saying something, Andy saying something.

Speaker 2 And then, part of the challenge too is you sensing the time to come in with your next piece of the conversation. So, you are both trying to construct appropriate content

Speaker 2 on the fly, but also time it properly to come in and kind of make it that next piece of information, that next piece of conversation that's sort of interesting and keeps the ball moving down the field in the right direction.

Speaker 2 Easy to talk about, It is tough to do. Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 2 Mum, I think it does.

Speaker 3 I'll go with Kerry's thought. Yeah, go with Kerry's thought.

Speaker 2 Now, as Andy said, you'd be playing individually. So we put one of you on hold and you can't hear how the other person goes, but just know you both get exactly the same conversation.

Speaker 2 So I'll say something, Andy will say something, and then there'll be a gap where you pick the right time to jump in with your next piece of conversation.

Speaker 2 So it's a level playing field and you can't hear how the other person goes.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 2 Mum, I'll give you a little bit of time to contemplate that, but you won't be able to hear what's going on. Let's start with Cabo.

Speaker 2 Are you ready to go, Kerry?

Speaker 3 Yep, as ready as I'll ever be, I think.

Speaker 2 That's true. You can't really train for this.
Well, I've had many, many brilliant conversations with your mum since we were 19 years old, Ham. So

Speaker 2 I think it's going to be a pretty formidable battle. We're about to go.
She's used to these players. That does give mum a slight advantage.

Speaker 2 All right. Kerry, good luck.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 2 Oh, good day, Ander. How are you going? Yeah, good, thanks.
Hey, the Tour de France just wrapped up. Great addition.
Yeah, yeah, I didn't watch much of it, but I did watch it a little bit on the app.

Speaker 3 Well, you guys are way ahead of me. I haven't watched any of the Tour de France, although I know I should take an interest having a cyclist enthusiast in the family.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 That's pretty good, Martha. Pretty good.

Speaker 2 It wasn't until we started doing that that I realized you do speak a bit of French as well. And I thought, if mum gets warmed up here,

Speaker 2 we could hear some French. And when you went for cyclist,

Speaker 2 maybe she is going for some French. Oh, really? Cyclist enthusiast is a very difficult double word to go.
Level difficulty high there, Cabo. You picked the timing very well.
I think

Speaker 2 it's going to be tough to beat, but I've got to carry you on hold now. Hoping you hit the showers? Not literally, mum.
Because you do have very long showers.

Speaker 2 We need you. We need you after this.
Mum, you're there?

Speaker 3 Yes, I am.

Speaker 2 Great. It's your turn to go.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. And it's obviously Haim will start the conversation.
You've got to pick your timing when to come in and then add to the conversation. You can't ask a question.

Speaker 3 I can't ask a question.

Speaker 2 No. Wow.

Speaker 3 Well, what's the point?

Speaker 2 The point is to continue the conversation, but we think it's too easy if someone asks the question. So it's just adding a little level of difficulty.

Speaker 2 You've got to grab the ball and run with it, no passing it straight away.

Speaker 2 Fuck it, Andy. Yeah, hey.

Speaker 2 Tour de France just wrapped up.

Speaker 2 Another great edition of Latour.

Speaker 2 I didn't catch much of it, I just saw a little bit on the app.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's a great show to watch.

Speaker 2 Very good.

Speaker 2 Well, that's true. Is that a straight all you're offering?

Speaker 2 She said her piece.

Speaker 2 She's said her piece.

Speaker 2 And left the conversation.

Speaker 2 Bring Kerry back. Actually, not a bad power move to just say, yeah, that's a great show to watch and wander off to go.
Mate,

Speaker 2 I'm not going to hold the conversation for you. So, mum.
Mum, let's just unpack yours for a second. We did the same with Kerry.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 2 You know what the Tour de France is, don't you?

Speaker 3 Yes, it's a bike race.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you wouldn't call it a show, would you?

Speaker 2 Great to show you. You're right.

Speaker 3 I should have rephrased that as,

Speaker 3 well, it's still a show. It's on television.

Speaker 2 No, no, that's not a rule. Everything on television is not a show.
Would you say the news is a show?

Speaker 3 Well, your father watches it all the time, non-stop, three o'clock in the morning. So I'd say it's a show.

Speaker 3 It is a show.

Speaker 2 It's an absolute circus. Yeah, exactly.
I mean,

Speaker 2 for a second, I thought you were thinking there is the Netflix show that sort of is about the Tour de France, which you could get away with going, yeah, that's it.

Speaker 3 I'm talking about watching the Tour de France on the television

Speaker 2 morning. Yes, yes.
Yeah, mum, the other part that I found interesting was I think your entire attempt was just five words or something.

Speaker 2 Did you think not to add anything else, or you really nailed it and just

Speaker 2 was out of there?

Speaker 3 Exactly. Well, it's best to be short and sweet.

Speaker 3 Oh, it can be.

Speaker 2 Can be.

Speaker 2 Unfortunately, mum, for you, but triumphantly for Kabo, my second mum.

Speaker 2 Kabo, thank you. Well done.

Speaker 2 You are today's chit-chat champion. We're going to send you out a token of.
Well done, Kerry. Oh, thank you, Mark.

Speaker 3 It's a long time since I've won anything.

Speaker 2 Very calm under pressure, mum. Superior poise.
Congrats on the SP, and we will talk to the mums later. See you guys.
Bye, Mark.

Speaker 3 Bye, boys. Bye.

Speaker 2 bye bye bye mum you can hang up there

Speaker 3 you can hang up there mum i don't know how to

Speaker 2 mum are you still there as well

Speaker 3 no speech is still here oh my dad's throwing off no i thought mum had hung on

Speaker 2 the big red

Speaker 2 circle

Speaker 2 don't just go give it to dad just look at the camera look at the phone and at the big red circle

Speaker 2 she got it She got it.

Speaker 2 Jack,

Speaker 2 it'd be fair to say

Speaker 2 that I get the fact that you don't like us talking about a certain someone.

Speaker 2 Yes. Come to mind.
And I thought there was a kind of nod of agreement that we won't talk about Mr. R anymore.
There certainly was. There was

Speaker 2 a firm pledge and a pack supported by t-shirts. I don't know how much more we could have done.

Speaker 2 Again, I haven't looked whether there's any available still, but I wanted to put my hand up today and to say enough's enough. We'll have one last look back at it.
But

Speaker 2 I'm putting my hand up and saying enough is still enough. Yes.
Because I really thought

Speaker 2 we have absolutely locked the box. Yes.
But

Speaker 2 maybe I hadn't, maybe I wasn't aware of how much we'd jeopardized this perfect deal for you. This is for people who just joined the pod, welcome.
But it's a long backstory. But

Speaker 2 Jack has a certain fellow that helps him with discounted flights, business class underneath the price of economy. We won't say his name.
It's all behind closed doors.

Speaker 2 So the more we talk about, the more exposure we give it. I just feel like we run the risk of

Speaker 2 hearing us. And keep the curtains shut.
What we're doing at the moment is peeking through a window so we can see a little bit of what's... Don't even be on the property.

Speaker 2 So it has to be... Well, we lost our footy.
We were just looking for our footy.

Speaker 2 To bring people up to speed of how troubling it's been for Jack, we've put this together for him.

Speaker 2 I actually don't even like talking about it because I don't want someone to go, you know, an American to be here and hear it and go, oh, Mr.

Speaker 2 Ralph, we're talking about you on an Australian podcast and then he, you might lose us the door.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, I don't want him, any excuses for him to turn off the tartan. You dance long.

Speaker 2 Would he come on the show?

Speaker 2 Jack already, the look of disdain. I don't care what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 I don't want to jeopardise anything. I actually don't even like talking about it.

Speaker 2 Don't let yourself

Speaker 2 go.

Speaker 2 I'll talk to Bianca. No, no, no, no, well.

Speaker 2 I'm going to text her now.

Speaker 2 Don't, don't.

Speaker 2 I just don't want to.

Speaker 2 Everybody hurts.

Speaker 2 Sometimes. It'd be fair to say that within your household, where a worry level's at.
Hold it up, hold up, fingers out again.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're getting close to the top. Have you spoken to your partner, Bianca, about the fact that you divulged a hell of a lot about Mr.
Ralph a few weeks back? No.

Speaker 2 I've seen spoken to Bianca, your wife. She didn't formally send a cease and desist letter, but the tone of the voice was there

Speaker 2 was definitely of. I wasn't too thumbs up.
Go, we're all love and there's over here on our our stuff.

Speaker 2 Lots of things that are funny come to an end. Seinfeld was very funny, but they brought it to an end.
And I felt like Mr. Ralph had run his course of funniness.

Speaker 2 Yes, we thought the same. We're reading you loud and clear.
That's why we created the pledge.

Speaker 2 That's why, Haim,

Speaker 2 this week I was shocked

Speaker 2 when our loyal listeners... Sent in this bit of audio from you on the Christian O'Connell show.

Speaker 2 People who listen to the show have got to stop listening to the other shows.

Speaker 2 You do do shows. And what can we tell you, man? You can't keep us siloed.
Okay.

Speaker 2 There's going to be some spillover. Are you just saying this, Jay, because you,

Speaker 2 without hearing what this is,

Speaker 2 it's very early in the morning when you do the Christian O'Connell show. So you would just prefer to not have to think carefully about what you're saying.

Speaker 2 There's just so many, like... Three hours a day, five days a week.
There's so much time to fill. I don't know what this is, but

Speaker 2 you just can't bring this in as evidence day after day, podcast after podcast.

Speaker 2 How could you talk about working too hard when you're sitting here in front of Mike, who every week has to think of three correlated things

Speaker 2 taking him well more than 15 hours, from what I understand?

Speaker 2 All right, here we go.

Speaker 2 Time to multiply time waster, your plain songs.

Speaker 2 All right, let's clear the runways. Let's get these big buds up in the sky.

Speaker 2 We'll begin with this one. A reference to a good friend of yours.

Speaker 2 Someone's got a great recall. Mr.
Ralph at number one for Jack.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Sadly, I don't know the song.
Of course, I know the reference. The man who helps us get discounted flights to the US.
Thank you, Mr. Ralph.
And that, us, is Jack and his family.

Speaker 2 In case anyone said, that's very kind of us.

Speaker 2 We're not included. But what a great contact.

Speaker 2 The best. But heavily, heavily discounted.
What are we talking? 80%?

Speaker 2 You would be sickened.

Speaker 2 You would be sickened. Sick of me, right? won't you? 90%.
Like first class for economy fair. We go business class for less than the price of economy.
Get out of town.

Speaker 2 Sickened. I asked me, sickened.
He sickens. That is...

Speaker 2 Shout out to Mr. Ralph.
Sometimes the universe just gives you a special friend.

Speaker 2 I just say you have an abundance of those.

Speaker 2 Mr. Ralph.

Speaker 2 Jack.

Speaker 2 Jack, you're telling us to not talk about it in your website.

Speaker 2 And you even said thank you to to him, which you would only assume is in the hopes that it would get back to him. You can hear though the hesitation in my voice.

Speaker 2 I feel like I'm slinking away from the microphone as I said it. I don't think.

Speaker 2 But also there's a part of professionalism in me that as somebody's mentioned, I feel the need to give it context so that everybody listening knows what's going on. There's two lies.

Speaker 2 You didn't slink away and you're not professional.

Speaker 2 Here's the thing, Jack.

Speaker 2 I think I'm, I was always worried as you were, that the day might come where the tap turns off and that we would be in the firing line not just from you but from your wife's family yes I think now that you've gone and done that

Speaker 2 we're completely immune this show has made noise for

Speaker 2 that was a live radio broadcast on Melbourne's number one FM breakfast show should the tap turn off there's absolutely no way that we're the stick in the system there's no t-shirts being made over there

Speaker 2 was the thing you could that's the smoking gun or it's certainly enough that we couldn't be prosecuted. That's what I like him, that's exactly how I felt about it.
It's now there's it's muddy waters.

Speaker 2 If you're very clean waters to be

Speaker 2 well see through the water, don't take it up with us, take it up with the old mob over there at the radio station. So, done us a favour.
Many reference.

Speaker 2 I still you'll notice I haven't said his name once this whole time. Whereas on the radio show, oh, seems to be a whatever the opposite of secret sound is: say it as much as you can.

Speaker 2 Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.
Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.