2024 Ep 280 - Goodbye to 2024, Podcast Mike and Team Loyalty

Today,

in 2013,

I did the vulnerability.

Okay,

so

I don't know, Michael, check the internet.

Video, like,

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Cause the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three,

two.

Sorry, still buffering.

One.

Ahoy to me, Countdown.

Hey, Mish.

Okay, yes, Countdown is.

Are we doing what Woolworths is called in other countries?

Because of course in New Zealand, New Zealand, Woolworths.

But I don't know.

I'm interested to see where this goes.

Boy, does it shock you when you get to New Zealand and you see the exact same logo and font, and then it doesn't say Woolworths.

Which is strange because the logo is a W.

Yes.

And so...

There is an argument to go, it definitely works better for Woolworths.

There is a W in countdown.

It's just not prominent.

True.

True.

Maybe around the world they do a name with all the different...

Any word has to have a W.

Ahoy to my frontier, Jack.

It is.

We all know in Sweden Woolworths is called Frontier.

Frontier and Countdown.

And I'm the destination.

Frontier, countdown and destination.

Are these names of spacecraft?

No, we're all finals for the final show of the year.

The final countdown, the final frontier, the final destination.

Jack and Amish are both looking at it, Mike.

I reckon he's actually got this because many people have noticed that on the New York Times,

there's a game called Connections, and that's essentially just what Mike is doing.

They manage to get one up every day.

I feel like this is maybe lifted straight from Connections, but maybe not.

Well, it's fist pumping.

I feel like it broke our rule, which is like

we've never really gone like titles or something.

We've never gone missing word.

Yeah, yeah, like it's normally free of a certain sector.

Well,

it is actually Mike's last show.

So would you like to fire him?

Mike, I can't have you doing this anymore.

We might.

Unfortunately, Mike, it might seem like a pretty minor misstep, but it's the straw that's broken the camel's back and you're fired.

No, we want you to stick around to the end.

You're hired.

You're rehired for the rest of the show.

But yes, bombshell um hamish has just dropped it is mike's last show um but we might get to that later we might uh

it is a good look full credit he has gone out well yeah ahoy to uh to arthur as well who went to hamishney.com to upload what he's been up to i should point out i have heard this one

arthur brings up sea monkeys remember we were talking about that uh yes there was quite a bit of backlash on sea monkeys but that was that this year was this year

was this year and then i think they must call them sea dragons in the UK.

And that's why I just wanted to preface this little bit of audio with that.

But this is Arthur.

Gotcha.

Hi, hey, Miss and Andy.

I know you had

sea dragons and they died.

I had them.

and they died two weeks for free yeah and i think it's completely a big waste of money it's because

i hate the sea dragons

Good on you.

Getting involved in big issues early.

He went on to really take down a store where you could get them from, and legals thought it was too close to slam.

But I will play it to you guys later.

All right.

I know what this is.

I'll play it for you guys later, but to hearing a four-year-old take down a big company was a treat.

But honestly, we're on the cusp of the mandated break, right?

Yeah.

So it's not the show to start new things.

No.

But if 2025 involves a legal stouch or a class action with the sea monkeys people, sea dragon people, and they are forced in a court of law to back up the claims they make on their pack about these animals being...

Oh my God, no way.

Yeah, we'll be very confident.

We'd be happily.

We'd go into that, wouldn't we, Jack?

Yeah, definitely.

Because

if they say that it's defamation, is that what they would be saying?

Yeah, we would argue truth.

We'd go, okay,

prove to us that this is actually

a living kingdom.

Yeah, prove to us they're not shit.

Onus is on you.

Make me smile with some of the tricks they do.

It is the last show before the government mandated rape.

Boy, does it sneak up on you?

It doesn't.

And obviously we have lobbied and we...

You put a call in, didn't you, Ham, to the government?

What executive branch did you?

Okay, she's got the front desk.

Oh.

So they're going to call back.

Yeah, just asking whether we could continue podcasting, but of course.

I I just want to do check.

I thought there might be a time where you could just double-check your mandates, see if they're still relevant.

And you would think by now they would be loosening, but it does seem to be like the bastards are tightening it, unfortunately.

Yeah, yeah, that's not what we want.

So to cover off, we've got to cover off a lot of things in this final episode.

Of course, ConCom was a winner last week.

Let's start because they've been flooding in with extreme empaths.

Let's do it.

Let's do our last batch of extreme empaths.

Including the opener, Jack, which of course is every song ever written, all played at once.

We don't leave anyone out.

first one's from Georgia Ham

extreme empaths uni edition she writes cool writing in because as soon as I heard your recent segment on extreme empaths I knew I'd found my people I'm currently studying psychology at uni I often find myself feeling bad for the people who get thrown in the et al part of the citation yep why should the person at the front get the credit all the time because of this i often risk getting marked down with for inaccuracies in my reference list because i will shuffle the the names around and let other researchers have a turn before at being the most important.

Furthermore, if I'm using the same reference multiple assignments, I'll give each researcher a go at the front of the et al.

That is very intricate.

That is a good one.

Jack, do you know what that's referencing?

I don't know.

I'm assuming it's like etc., etc., is it?

So, Joe blogs and if there's like

five, because what did you do at uni?

No, I went to TAFE.

Very successful.

I mean, I only hung in there.

It's okay.

I only hugged in there for two years.

I didn't know.

I thought it was you trying to pull the rug out from under me.

No, I was happily

educated.

We do have our guards up later.

Jacket punched me.

No, I'm just saying.

I hung in there for a couple of years at uni.

You do have to do this in uni assignments where it might be like, you know, yeah, post Lee and Blake did this paper.

And then when you...

cite them, when you put them in like the reference, you just have to go post et al.

And you and the other guys get swept in.

That's a bit pointless, then, isn't it?

Well, it just allows you

to

save time.

Yeah, I think that's then, like, why, why

I put any names on there?

You are meant to cite your references, although it's a good question, Jack.

For any of the things that me and Andy wrote at uni, irrelevant to put the names on, they were often made-up references anyway.

We immediately looked at that system and went, There's no way they're checking this,

put anyone down.

McFarland et al.

You've done it again

sorry

okay i mean this is a this is a great um extreme empath comes in from emily um

she recently learned that only female mozzies bite right and so she she writes and i i learned that they do so only to get nutrients for their children so sometimes if i catch a mozzie mid-bite i won't smash it or brush it away i think oh well you're already there It's going to witch anyway.

Might as well let you have a good drink while you're at it.

love it this is from holly extreme empath my friend will not fully fill her petrol tank as she worries the car will feel bloated

really good um

this is from jess i caught my friend lexi quietly crying the other day and when i asked what's wrong she held up one of those mini paper clips that's half the size of a regular clip and said he's too young to be working.

A common trap you see with extreme empaths is thinking that the small version of something is the baby, the baby version.

Like teaspoons are the babies of the spoon drawer.

From Ali, Extreme Empath.

Whenever I'm using the Office Shredder and I put too many pages in there, so I hear it slow down and struggle, I apologize.

And I make sure I only put a single page in for the next couple of turns to give it a chance to catch its breath and recover.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Active rest.

This is from Big As.

He goes, around once every week, my wife will remove all the magnets from the fridge for a full day to give them, quote, a little break.

Give the magnets a break?

Yeah, give the magnets a break.

I think she must think they're just hanging on so tight.

You know, like you don't want to fall off the cliff.

Like solo.

Yep.

During summer, she'll do this every few days instead of weekly, insisting they must be getting exhausted in the heat.

Luke.

Luke in the UK, extreme empath.

Ahoy.

Here in the London Underground, you occasionally hear the computer announcer say, the upcoming station has a short platform.

I always feel sorry for the station with the IP inferior platform.

This is great.

This is from Julia.

Last one for me.

Julia, she's from New Zealand.

I'm not sure if this puts me in the same category as extreme empaths, but I think it does.

I find myself doing this every week when I clean out my guinea pig hutch.

I make sure I always put newspapers showcasing a happy story or even a sudoku at the top of the bedding pile just in case they want to give it a read.

Gusto to all.

Gusto.

Keep them coming in over the break, everybody.

Hey, last show means we've got to tie up loose ends.

And look, some are peter outs and you don't have to even acknowledge a Peter out, but others, you know, they caught our interest.

People might be still hanging on to them.

Jack, I

mean, we missed a chance to wrap up a loose end.

I just want to remind, can I just rewind back to ConCon?

Magician Mike was there.

Magic Mike was there.

We knew he was going to be there, didn't we?

We knew he was going to be there doing

his magic.

Not entertaining magic, but just if people happen to be entertained by it, like that's on the house, he was mingling at the drinks, and you know, we knew he was going to be there.

He was shocked

that you didn't bring the jumper because you knew he was going to be there, and you had a chance to bring his golf jumper.

I've made my thoughts clear.

You know, my position on that.

He got a replacement golf jumper from the company.

He has the same amount of golf jumpers in the exact color, size, make that he had at the start of the year.

So he doesn't need the old one.

But why do you have more then?

I do happen to have it, but my position is he doesn't need it.

I might decide to give it to him one day, but he is not missing out on a jumper.

Why do you get to decide that?

No, but he's not like I true, I might not be the one who gets to decide or not decide.

It sounds like you've decided you are the one that gets to decide that, but he can't complain about it.

He was wondering,

he has the same amount of golf

he's into the fundamental misunderstanding about ownership that jumper that you have that you borrowed from him

that specific item who paid for that okay

well he didn't pay for that because the company gave that one to him for free as well as the refreshment one oh okay okay can i throw this hypothetically at you okay if You've got a car, right?

And you win another car,

am I entitled to go and take your first car?

You are there.

No.

But you know.

Okay, okay.

I was the one who got him the replacement jumper by contacting the company.

So that would be like, I have a car.

You buy me the exact same car,

give it to me, then you are entitled to have my original.

Okay, okay.

Let's sort of that out.

Anyway, well, there was a missed opportunity.

He went home cold.

He said he went up to you several times at the Vulcan drinks and rubbed his arms and said, I'm cold.

And you again missed the cue.

Have you missed any golf balls?

Sorry, they're sold out.

And we did not make nearly enough.

We did a boo-boo, didn't we?

Well, yeah, I wasn't going to talk about the boo-boo.

Okay.

No, we didn't do one.

Don't worry about that.

What was the boo-boo?

Well,

we put them up on the website and we put the amount that

we had.

But we'd forgot to click the button that said, don't sell

any more than these.

All orders have been fulfilled.

There was just some

chasing behind the scenes.

Yes, and we thank Taylor Maid.

So some of them have the printed logo on it and some have a handwritten one on.

Some of it's in crayon.

No, they're all very

dispatched.

We'll be there in the next few weeks.

One last loose end I've got my side of the fence.

search for a dollar coin yeah that's our crusade to get that's all going well yeah yeah well we knew it was two years and we're we're getting close to the first year of a two-year thing but people had commented at con con that we hadn't mentioned it for six months which we said we wouldn't do we thought we're doing everyone a favor i thought we were mentioning it too much But it did matter.

We're mentioning it a lot without really moving the ball down the field.

Yes.

That year went quick, though, didn't it?

It felt like when you said we had two years, that felt like eternity.

You're now all somewhere halfway.

My immediate instinct was to take six months off immediately.

Yes.

So I did say to Carly,

where are we at?

Like, have the treasury come back to us, you know, this Royal Australian Mint?

Are they interested?

And it seems like we're getting a heavy nose from them, which is a real shame.

Then I was walking the dog during the week, and it was as if it was Serendipitus before this

show, this final show.

I saw a dog take a poo.

Wasn't mine, my dog, or my poo.

Yeah, yeah, glad a dog didn't take your poo.

A female owner went across and I saw her do that thing where she goes to open her bag,

little pouch, and doesn't have any plastic bags in it, which is a terrible thing for a dog owner.

You're like, oh, God, I can't pick it up.

She turns around and she sees another dog owner, which is just...

euphoric.

Great.

They might have one.

They can lend.

She comes across to me and says, hey, do you mind if I borrow a bag?

I said, no problem.

She goes, oh my god.

Yeah, don't borrow it.

I don't want to borrow it.

She goes, oh, my God.

We've been talking about you guys this week.

And I said,

who and what in what context?

Because you and Hamish in the show.

And I said,

why?

And she said, we're working on the dollar coin.

Wow.

And I said, do you work at the mint?

She said, no.

She told me where she works, but I'm not allowed to say where she works for fear of, because it was very, she said it's very confidential.

And she said for fear of that getting out and now ruining our chances.

Is it government?

It's not government.

But who else works?

Who else has worked it on coins?

All I'm saying is, is even though we've gone silent, playing hard to get has worked because people are thinking about it.

Wow.

I mean, where is she from?

Is it her job to like do the design of the coin?

She works for a design firm.

I mean, if you work for a coin design firm and you don't have the mint as a client

i just can't see you getting heaps of jobs yeah all i'm saying is this isn't an invented story like hamish does at the end of every year

to be fair to him it feels a bit like one

details because all the details yeah all the details are now allegedly secret

i will tell you guys in the break oh great well i didn't know we could do secret updates i've got heaps of loose ends i can i don't want to rock i don't want to rock the chip because we don't have as you know we don't have too many leads no yeah but um

but she's working on the working on the coin as if it's already been green lit by somebody hasn't been green lit okay so she's working on a pitch to get it green lit already been pitched okay mate well what is it

whatever we've said too much okay hang on

okay i'm going to do something about crumpets next year

there's a big case i've been working on but no time to talk about it now.

All right, we're wrapping up Loose Ends, and this is a biggie that's out there, but I think we can land the plane on this one.

People might remember listener Michael, who came to the show a few weeks ago as a fan of a new hobby he just had taken up, but he was scared to tell his friends, digital bird collecting.

So it's an app that he downloaded where you take photos of birds in the wild and it like categorizes them and then you get that bird in your digital collection.

And he said, Look, I'm scared to bring it up to my friends because I like this, but we've never, there's no interest in bird watching in the group.

I've never bird watched.

All we talk about is, by his estimation, 90% of the chat is about sports.

Yes.

And I don't know what to do to make this acceptable in the group.

We wanted to help him come out about bird watching.

But at first, we wanted to establish, are you sure your mates won't be accepting?

So he called a bunch of his friends.

This is very clever.

As if he was working for

I think his partner's uncle, taking market research on a new app involving birds.

Hey, mate.

Hey, man.

Hello, mate.

Bit of a random phone call.

I'm doing like market research stuff.

So

first question.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being extremely interested, how interesting does this app sound to you?

Do you want me to, am I supposed to pretend to be someone that's interested in birds?

Like a three?

A three?

For me personally, it's a three.

Two.

Two.

Okay.

So if this app was made, do you think you would download it?

No.

No.

No.

No.

Probably not.

No.

What the f?

If one of your mates had this app and was snapping birds and adding them to their own digital collection, do you think you'd be more likely to download the app yourself?

No.

Not particularly.

Okay.

No.

I'm still not going to get it.

I would bully them for it.

Okay, so a pretty.

It's a damn easy last sentence, isn't it?

I'd bully them for it.

That's Mike.

So he's calling there.

That's a selection of his mates, like four or five of his mates.

I would say unanimously, they're like, okay, this isn't, that's not moving the needle for us.

We're not interested in that kind of an app.

But he joins us on the line now, Mike, to reveal phase two.

Michael,

great.

Well done, first of all.

Ahoy, well done.

Great gusto in the market research.

How did it make you feel?

Hi, boys.

How are we?

Yeah, great.

Very good, mate.

Yeah, so, yeah, I guess

mixed feelings, mixed emotions.

Obviously, you just want to hear nothing but good news and support.

But, you know, I've got some honest trends.

Yep.

Okay.

So after that point, you'd be thinking, right, I've got this passion.

I love collecting digital birds.

And did you reveal to them, Michael, then

actually I am using the app?

Yeah, so it was a

bit of a mic drop moment towards the end of the call.

I said, it's a real app and a habit.

And how did they respond to that?

Honestly, mixed feedback.

Yeah, some were supportive.

Others, yeah.

You heard that quote just there.

One said, I'd probably bully you for it.

Yeah.

Well, good on you for having the courage to come out to your friends and be who you are and just go, look, this is me, guys.

I love collecting digital birds.

I've got eight so far and I want to get more.

Then

phase two of the operation came in.

Now you mentioned you threw out who a popular cricketer in your group would be, Mitchell Stark, Australian fast bowler.

Andy was able to get Mitchell Stark

to

record a video

pretending that he was also on the birdwatching app.

I guess there's some sort of like community feature where he had then sent you a message as a fellow bird watcher.

What did you think of the video, first of all?

Boy, you love the video.

What access the context And it has

amazing impressive.

But

it's more for the listeners.

People will drop everything for the listeners.

This is a person in need.

So I'm sure Mitch was happy to do it.

But Michael, you then were charged with, well, we'll play the video now.

Yeah, it's meant to be under the guys that he has DM'd you on this app.

So Mitch Stark, Australian fast bowler, is also out enthusiastically trying to search for birds.

Hi, Michael.

I've actually seen you on the Bird Watchers app.

I'm a big fan as well.

Don't actually like playing golf, but I'm coming out to hunt some birds looking for a new Holland honey eater.

So hopefully I can find one before the round's done.

But I look forward to sharing our passion.

Lovely.

Love it.

When you saw that, Michael, even though you know it's fake,

did you feel...

Are we sure it's fake?

Are we sure he doesn't have an interest in birds?

We're not sure.

Yeah, well, I mean, Andy filmed it and took,

I think it took me a few goes to understand what it was it was so it was using so i think we can at this stage say it is it was performed uh with your best interests in mind but did your heart skip a beat to be like oh there's a guy that i idolize and he's doing the thing that i love yeah it was very exciting very very glad to get some support from each side um so you then put that in the group whatsapp What has the response been since then?

So it's a busy work day, but I have had a couple of good replies.

And what did you write exactly?

Oh, my God.

The chat's blowing up.

Are you looking at it now?

Are you?

What have we got here?

One of them said,

wow, I suddenly love this app and bird watching.

Oh, yeah.

One of them said, if he invited me to go bird watching, I would definitely go.

Look at this.

We've done it.

We've turned this ship around.

I mean, Mitch did it, but, you know, we had the idea of getting it done.

I mean, that's huge.

Michael, how do you feel now?

I mean,

what a great, I mean, end of the year, too, for us to put a real lid on this.

Yeah.

Boys, I'm elated.

Like, that's every digital bird collector's dream just to have support of their mates and

famous cricketers.

Episode into collecting a rare bird, I'd say.

So well put.

I mean, well, this is beautiful.

We've tied it up with a ribbon and I hope you go into the government mandate and break with full permission and new friends to go and hunt birds with just a quick update too because it's been a couple weeks what's the bird count at now because it was at eight what are we what are we at now 22 boys 22

and what's your best because last time it was a very common cockatoo

Well, it actually came into contention when my mate asked what my favorite bird was that I collected.

And I told him the emu.

And that was called into question because he was like, emus, they're not in the wild.

And yet I said, yeah, there was one at Dream World.

And so it's been called into question and I've

debated over it, my moral compass, and I've since decided to delete all birds in captivity.

And I've got a very honest 22 birds in my digital collection.

Nice, Michael.

And also amazing that a friend of yours is engaged enough to want to challenge the type of collections you're getting.

I mean, can we still find out that, okay, of the free birds you've seen, of the roaming birds, who's number one?

I like the laughing kookabarra.

It's just a cool bird.

You know, it sounds

like

there's no special species that laughs.

No, but it is a cool bird.

It is a cool bird.

It's a cool bird.

I think that's why it features so much across Australian paraphernalia.

Michael, thanks so much.

Really happy to wrap that one up.

Thanks, boys.

Have a good night later break.

Yeah, we'll be back.

Thank you, Mate.

We'll obviously be fighting against it.

Hey, and the government mandated break is upon us, and this is our last, we're getting towards the end of our last show for the year.

If you do have a thirst, though, for us chatting at you, the remembering project also drops today.

It'll be really

fun doing the remembering project.

Wherever you get your podcasts, it's available everywhere.

Us looking back at,

well, 20,000 talk breaks or whatever it might be yeah back in the radio days we for people that are not familiar with the show we pick a random day of the year and then we look if we had ever done a radio show ever on that day of the year we pick one thing we talked about from whatever year we pick and see if we remember it most of the time we don't we don't um that's going to be dropping every Thursday over the government mandated break we have already recorded it hence they got a green light from the government but boy do we have a fair bit of back and forth with them on that one yeah um No, there isn't, but it checks out.

One thing that I wanted to bring up, Jack, and Hamish and I wanted to present to you on this show, something we talked about, because it's going to be an ongoing concern

for our show now.

I think it's going to leapfrog remembering Project.

Just kind of like Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul sometimes have this crossover or Law and Order SVU.

And

no one is watching Law and Order to the extent that you are.

I mean, I know less people watching Better Call Saul.

I personally think it's fantastic.

But I mean, no one's watching as much Law and Order as you're doing.

But I think Jack will remember this too, because he was there.

He was around for the inception of this.

But yes, jumping back from the yesteryear, I think it will come, will certainly be on our slate for 2025.

Yeah, this is what we talked about on the Remembering Project.

In 2012, in this patch of July, we were in the run-up to Operation Share the Flame.

Oh, that was great fun.

That's when we were broadcasting from London from your lair during the London Olympics or in the run-up to the London Olympics.

We're over there doing gap year

and we had an idea to not steal.

And that really is the critical point.

We weren't stealing.

Not steal.

Because stealing would mean they wouldn't have any left.

Yep, but to share the Olympic flame.

Yes.

Because one of the great things about the Olympic flame is fire can be shared.

It can be multiplied.

And if I have some fire and I light your fire, I do not have less fire.

No.

It's beautiful.

It's actually a beautiful analogy.

It's like love.

It multiplies and i think that's a beautiful thing to put out in the world so we wanted to share the flame we wanted to have our own piece of the olympic flame that we could keep at your apartment burning for the duration of the games so we'll map in the run you were going to wear a fake um wooden um dast and kerosene that's yeah

radio mic and has brought up on our website and worth a look worth a look because we did do the rehearsal yes so i was going to wear a fake hand doused in kerosene waving to the torch as they come past yes Then you would then dip my hand into the torch, which would ignite the hand on fire.

I'd then run to you waiting nearby.

I'd put it in a lantern, get in a getaway.

I would be sprayed with the fire extinguisher and I would be arrested.

But meanwhile, the flame would be safely shared.

Or were we trying to cook

as a barbecue?

That's true.

Actually, we were trying to cook Olympic sausages.

But again, once a flame has been shared, it could do anything.

I still don't hate the idea.

I was actually when we were watching.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pencil it in.

We would absolutely be able to get in mole, an inside person.

We'll know plenty of people that will be that will be running with the flame.

Yeah, I agree.

And we do it on a back road.

Like, we're obviously not doing it as a comments.

Cummins stadium.

Pat Cummins would probably be able to get it.

Yep.

Yeah.

By then.

He'll probably have retired by then.

Yep.

Australian cricket captain Pat Cummins.

Yeah.

Played golf with him yesterday.

We didn't mention it to him.

No, but he said.

And it was a good.

he's a rascal, he's up for fun, yeah.

And he would feign shock, like we'd, we wouldn't, we wouldn't want this pinned on him,

but we'd, you know, he'd be like, oh, yeah, I'll pretend I don't know what's going on.

But we're like, all we need you to do is act like, oh,

yeah, confused, but dip the torch down.

Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, be confused and have the torch in easy access.

Anyway, yeah, great.

We got eight years to think of it.

2032.

2032.

It's not over.

No.

Operation Shepherd, like 20 years in the making.

And I've been reinvigorated by that.

I'm invigorated.

It pumps you up, doesn't it?

We've only got seven years to organise this, Jack.

Are you backing it?

Why don't you say it will be on our slate next year?

Well, just planning begins.

I think we should definitely set an alarm for 2031, say, so it reminds us, but there's not too much we can do next year.

I just would hate to get caught with our pants down.

And set the alarm then next year, which is something we can tick off next year you go please tune in next year to hear the setting of the alarm

and then

when is it in 2032 is it mid-year it would be for summer reasons i guess but that's oh that's that's northern hemisphere yeah it probably be like

i don't know good great question august september well october again if if it's early we wouldn't want it set it in 2031 we'd want it the alarm would be a you know what guys this feels like a show one next year

of when we can set the alarm

It is in an Australian winter,

July to August, 2032.

Instead, put it north.

Makes sense.

Anyway, again, don't do too much this year because we are ahead of schedule.

Next year, next year.

Hang, you dropped a bombshell on everyone at the very top of the show today.

But I'm glad you did because I think it's given us all a chance to kind of ease into what is a big announcement,

a sad announcement crazy news

crazy news where uh podcast mike come in fact come in podcast come in mikey he's uh he's on his way in he hasn't stormed out after the uh how did first up how did you feel that last one was going to go down of the three things

I thought it was a creative spin on the style we've been doing in the past.

So I thought that you guys would appreciate that I've been, I've been, I'm branching out.

I'm trying to.

Yeah.

It was great.

That sounds sounds like an answer that was prepared by your lawyer

um you're not you haven't been sacked for that Mike you are actually you you're going off to bigger and wider grander creative projects and we would never dare hold you back um

we looked into it legally and we can't we're not allowed to

but mike we've loved you being part of the show obviously the list of love you being part of the show how long has it been mike two years uh seven

No, it was just like a classic power move.

Always good to end on it.

Always good to end on it.

Seven years.

Seven of the best.

Seven of the best, Mikey.

Full time.

Do we work under an alias at all?

But Mike,

we thought it was best for us to...

Mention a few things

in a pre-recorded manner.

It's with sadness we announce that on the other side of the mandated break this year, a valued team member won't be returning.

Unable to make it through the harsh winter of the break, podcast Mike is spreading his wings and soaring onto bigger and better things.

Well, who knows if they'll be bigger and better.

It's very possible they'll be smaller and worse, but that doesn't mean we can't look back fondly at all the great times he's given us.

Hello, thank you for having me.

It's a pleasure.

It's a pleasure.

It's also your job.

Mike, not being able to boil water.

Hey, man, how's that water going?

So good.

Yeah, no, we'll be down really soon.

We're going well up here.

We're swimming.

Great.

That's not great.

That tells you it's not boiling too much water.

You said it's...

The last message we got was it's taking half an hour to boil water.

Why?

Are you on a camp stove?

So basically...

The only stovetop in this building is

like an inductive heat stove, like an electric heater.

And you didn't have heat.

And the only pot in this building is like this massive aluminium pot.

So you're out on the rooftop with mirrors trying to use a concave mirror to boil a pot of water.

And everyone's saying like, oh, just use a kettle or like boiling water.

And like, I did that, guys.

I'm not an idiot.

Because down here it was feeling for a bit like you were an idiot.

Well, that was my fear.

When we heard half an hour in, into the boiling the water saga, you still had cold water.

We just envisaged you up there rubbing the sides of a pot.

Hoping the friction.

Ferociously microwaving mugs of water and dipping them into a pot.

And his struggle with saying dates on the Remembering Project.

It's the 6th of September.

Can't get on that one.

You're just a little off.

Sorry.

Okay.

It's the 6th of September.

It's a tough one because it's...

I don't think you're saying 6th.

Why don't you say September 6th?

But I've done all the other ones this way too.

Who wants to blow anyone's bite?

We still know the date.

Oh, do bite.

You're forgetting that there's a teacher.

Yeah.

It's the sixth.

Sorry, no, sorry.

You got this.

It's the sixth of.

No, I can't say it.

It's the sixth of September.

Yeah, so you're just saying

it's the sixth of September.

It's the sixth.

We need a.

Do you want to do record a separate thing?

No, no, no, no.

It's the sixth of September.

It's easy to pronounce.

It is, but it's good.

It's the 6th of September.

Yeah.

More than anything, we'll always remember the crushing 20-hour a week workload of organising three things, and none more so than when he got the definition of a neutron wrong and had to apologise through the show's official apology language, song.

So here's my apology about subatomic particles and Andy Lee.

I'm not my boy, Jimmy Neutron, I'm just me.

Here's the chorus now.

One, two, three.

Now, yes, that was a job for me on Andy's pod with Hamish B.

And it's caused a little controversy.

So this is my apology.

I said, yes, that was a job for me.

I take all responsibility.

And please take this as my decree.

No more mistakes, cause I'm sorry.

But the time Mike lost in organizing three things, he was able to make up by insane typing speed.

There was one moment before I worked on this this show where I worked at a liquor store and a guy came up to me and said, do you sell this product?

I typed it into the system and he looked at me and said, wow, you type so fast, I want you to come and work for me this guy.

That's a true story.

Now, obviously,

the job never came to fruition, but this did happen.

That is a true story.

Just the type fix up.

Where did the guy work from?

I think he worked in an architecture firm.

Yeah, he just wrote me a type copy for him.

He's just the kind of guy that he's like, look, I have an absolute bullet train of thought, so you better try and keep up because one day

I might be interested in buying gym bean, and the next day I could be in a bread shop, and I might be looking for a poppy seed loaf.

And whatever I'm thinking of, I want you to time it up.

He's asked for a six-pack of BB.

You ended up working with CIA.

But mostly I'll miss his Pokemon knowledge that helped me be a better informed dad.

Who does the kick?

Mudbray.

Mudbray?

Mudbray is a ground-type donkey Pokemon.

Kidding.

Mudbray is a glound-type donkey Pokemon.

And it evolves into Muddale at level 30.

And it evolves into Mudstay at level 30.

That's not how Pokemon works.

Yes, it is.

Yeah, it is.

It is not.

They don't have levels.

They do have levels.

They do, mate.

You're listening to facts about them.

What?

You're listening to facts about them.

Listening to facts about Pokemon.

Has cover been blown?

I really am.

I can't hear anything.

Don't take the yippy.

Don't take the plug out.

Oh no, I need that back.

I need that back.

That helps me think.

I know.

What's going on, David?

I knew you were hearing purple facts.

How did you know that?

I could barely hear them.

Could you hear them?

A little bit, yes.

Good luck, Mike.

Rest easy in your new role.

We know the workload here has been inhumane.

Can I say, Andy, and I probably agree, these are the hardest parts about making these shows.

No, it's not.

The hardest part.

The hardest thing about the

home skis.

I'm a toboggan.

You're a snowball.

What are we?

Now dude.

snow?

All right, guys, go home.

That's the hard bit I felt.

Now do 20 more of those.

Not 20 a whole day.

19 times a week.

Here's the three things for you.

Hilarious, committed, and a voice worthy of a half scholarship.

Answer it to you, Mike.

Yeah, yep.

And that barely took us 10 hours to think up.

10 hours off.

Powerful stuff, Mike.

All the best, buddy.

Thank you so much, guys.

And thanks for everything you have created.

It's meant the world to me.

So thank you so much.

I love you guys.

Beautiful.

Even though it sounded like I was crying there because I was eating some McFlurry.

I am emotional to see you go, Mike.

You are irreplaceable.

So on behalf of listeners, see that you've given so many laughs to, mate.

We love you.

Go well.

Thanks.

It's nearly the end of the show, but there is one more loose end.

I thought we'd tied everything up, sir.

No, there is one more thing.

That's right.

Only a few weeks ago,

Jack Post,

after holding on to something for a couple of years,

raised it again with the group that he wanted to play his weasel card.

We all agreed that

once only on the pod, we can name a company and hope that they send us something for free.

Blatantly name-check them and through no smoke or mirrors simply get on our knees and beg.

And there was a rule that came up at the time which was

if everyone gets it it's fine.

Well the other two won't stand in the way if they too can wet their whiskers.

This is what Jack asked for.

I want a golf cart.

A motorized golf cart.

A motorized golf cart.

Not like the one that you drive, the one that you're remote.

The one that you drive golf buggy.

The one that you drive.

Jack, they're like 15 grand, aren't they?

Well, they've got to be expensive.

That is.

I didn't want to waste it on just anything.

Well,

the system works, Jack.

Oh, my God.

You're kidding me.

I won't ask you what your preferred one was because I think you've named a different brand to the one that's come from.

I am not picky have you really have you really got a golf cart well you were picky I'll say it because we said that there were two main brands Yamaha and Club

yep

and you opted for Yamaha

I play their guitars I thought the guitars might be as good as their cars so I would happily drive a Yamaha golf cart but Club Car is probably my preferred

is probably my preferred golf cart it

It is ours as well.

The weasel, always known for his excellent sense of smell.

And

when he senses the winds changing, the weasel can smell which way to go.

The weasel has chosen wisely by moving in the direction of Clubcar.

Also a famous golf cart brand.

Now, Club Car reached out to us, Jack.

You're kidding if this is real.

And they are happy to be the heroes here.

And again, they've always been my preferred one.

I've independently always found them the best value experience.

Well, they actually don't distribute straight to the consumer.

There's an intermediate, which is InGolf and Utility, who have always been my favourite intermediate.

In terms of Golf Cart middlemen, I wouldn't go anywhere else.

So.

Clubcar sells to the

new by Ingolf and Utility have raised their hand and said, we will participate.

This is the voicemail message, though, left by Andrew from Club Car on my phone yesterday.

Hey, Andy, it's Andrew from Club Car here.

Sorry we keep missing each other.

We'd love to help out with the golf cart.

We'd only be able to provide one though due to expense, but hopefully you can understand that.

Buzz me back to chat about it.

Cheers.

Okay, this

does throw

a cat amongst the pigeons.

Yes.

A ball in the bunker, because

one is not the deal.

Well, Jack was the one that brought up the fact that it had to be for all of us or it was none.

I mean, I thought I meant like it could be for all of us.

Like when, Andy, you asked for the vacuum cleaner, they were nice enough.

We didn't ask for three, but they were nice enough to send three.

And I'll even give my vacuum cleaner back.

If you want my thanks, mate, from two years ago.

Yes.

That will cover the golf card.

Let's ask Clubcar if...

Okay, we know you're only sending one golf card.

What if we gave you two used vacuum cleaners?

Do you think you could shake loose another two cards?

It was clear on the day the grab was there.

You were keen to enjoy this new system where it was one for all or none for all, Jack.

We end this year's pod with a decision.

But before you jump in now, I want you to think about it really carefully.

Okay,

we'll give you some time to think.

Well, I think it's fair to say that the entire world is eagerly awaiting the outcome of this monumental decision.

This is something that we did two years ago on the show.

It's been in the back of my head ever since waiting for the right time.

This is absolutely extraordinary.

Well everybody is on pins and needles across the country and today is the right time to bring it up.

Oh what a golf cart.

This is absolutely extraordinary and it is stunning.

While the stakes are clear to us all, it's amazing to think just how we've arrived here.

We're allowed one weasel each for three

Once each but we all get the thing.

This is epic.

This is monumental.

And let's not forget exactly what was said.

It's on the record.

It's been widely reported.

You're gonna send three of each.

Yeah.

It's like when you bring a cake to school and the teacher says you got enough for everybody?

Yep.

Yes.

Yes.

Because we can't dispute that fact.

So that's quite correct.

We can't dispute that point.

We all get the thing.

Get it the thing.

I want a golf car.

Not like the one that you drive, the one that you remote.

The one that you dot golf buggy.

No, no, the one that you drive.

Jack, they're like 15 grand, aren't they?

I didn't want to waste it on just anything.

Hey, Andy, it's Andrew from Club Car here.

Sorry we keep missing each other.

We'd love to help out with the golf cart.

We'd only be able to provide one, no, due to expense, but hopefully you can understand that.

Now we gather here because the time has come.

This is a huge decision, huge impact.

I've never seen this before.

A decision like this be made by one individual.

Imagine the pressure on this man being

good enough for everybody.

We all get the thing.

We'd only be able to provide one note.

Oh, what a golf cup.

The time has come where actions speak louder than words.

We've had everybody else biting their nails, so I guess it's time for them to stop chewing.

The answer to the question everybody wants to know:

what's your decision?

So you're asking me to make a decision on behalf of the team if I would be happy to accept just one or not.

Is that what you're asking me?

I would be happy to accept one golf cart and for you guys to not get one.

Yes.

Zero hesitation.

I didn't have a clock running on that, but that was never

has a man spoke truer from his heart.

I'd love to say that was all a joke, but it's not.

You've got yourself.

You're kidding me.

You're kidding me.

Hey, thanks to you.

You played the weasel card.

We've been stiffed out of our cuts, so you obviously were happy to play the weasel card with conditions.

Guys, unlimited rides for both of you.

Unlimited rides.

Thanks, Jack.

No, no, no, you've done all the work.

You've done all the work, Jack.

do you want to say it again, Cleara?

Club car, brought to you by Ingolf and Utility.

Yep.

Thank you, Club Car.

Thank you, Ingolf and Utility.

I won't let you down.

You guys are going to have as many rides as you want.

And

I'll even take some listeners for a ride.

He's so drunk on the excitement.

What else will you do for the listeners, Jack?

No, don't ask it.

It will be a pain.

What a bombshell.

I mean, Jack,

will you take one listener to the Gold Coast to Movie World?

No, no, no.

But I'll do many things with the golf cart for them.

If they want to ride in it, if they can go into it.

Anyone?

Let's just make this clearer.

Let's just actually put it in.

How many rides are you giving away?

50?

Can I put down?

It will pick three.

People submit how they'd like you to.

I want to hear Jack over promise.

Okay.

No, no, three is probably a reasonable amount.

I reckon we could have had him promise 50.

He was highly excited.

Can I just ask you this?

Because I know the great people from Club Car.

And

in Golf and Utility.

We'll be listening.

Where will you store the cart during the week?

Well, I'll have to

maybe get a shed or something out the back that I can put it in of my house.

Are you going to buy a shed?

Yeah, well, because I don't want it outside in the rain.

No.

But currently, if it gets delivered like this weekend, where's it going?

I'm so excited.

Well, go to my house.

Yeah, I know, but like, where do you, what are you going to keep it under in case it rains?

Well, I can't.

There's the, I don't have any that I've got no carport, no garage.

I guess I could bring it inside if the back doors were wide.

Back doors are wide enough.

Maybe the back doors are wide enough.

No, it's covered.

It's your back door.

No, it's like a double opening.

So you build a ramp up.

I'll build a little

golf cart into the lounge.

And then it will sit behind the couch.

And we could even, you could even watch movies from it, maybe.

This is got

an amazing way to end the pod.

I don't want to show full excitement until I know it's 100% real, but

it's no trick last-minute trick.

He's club car adventures will be a feature in next year's pod.

Thanks for being with us this series.

Unfortunately, the government are coming down hard enough, so we've got to go out of here.

But enjoy your government mandate or break if you can, everybody.

And

you won't regret this.

You won't regret this.

Thanks for listening.

The Hey Mission Andy podcast will be back again next year.

In the meantime, new episodes of Hey Mission Andy's Remembering Project will drop every week across summer.