2024 Ep 260 - Soft Truths

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One.

Ahoy to me, ra.

Hey, Mission.

Thank you.

No clues?

No idea?

No, not as yet.

Ahoy to me, Osiris.

Okay, we're some kind of gods.

Oh, oh, we're Egyptian gods.

These gods.

Am I the sun god?

You are the sun god.

You're depicted by a man with a hawk's head.

That's me.

Thank you.

Osiris, Jack, is classically depicted as a green-skinned deity with the pharaoh's beard being the beard boys.

And I was Anubis.

Depicted.

Anudis.

by a common god that would run through the other hieroglyphics shaking its willy in the face of whoever was sculpting and was a bit of a nuisance but would be chiseled into the walls of the tomb nonetheless.

No, not a nudist, a noobis

depicted a man with the dog head.

Bit of a noob.

Yes, I was more the guide to the underworld.

You were the kind of judge and lord of death, Jacko.

And haim you're the big dog uh creator of all other gods and humans you're welcome uh thank you very much we're truly indebted ahoy also to chris who used uh hamishandy.com to uh upload what he's been up to at the moment ahoy boys so i'm just sitting at my piano keyboard thinking about the upset andy theme song so my question is andy do you get upset that hamish is singing in the wrong key in that opening theme

so it's catch my disease by ben Lee.

It should sound like this.

Everything is neat and practical.

That's the way he likes it.

So the song is in the key of B major, but Hamish, when he sings, it comes in the key of E major down here.

Everything is neat

and practical.

And that's the way he likes it.

And Hamish, was this a deliberate choice?

Yes.

So that when Andy hears the opening theme, he is already a little bit upset before hearing an onslaught of upsetting things.

Now you got it.

Now you've got it.

Welcome, Finnicloff.

Everyone could have done the easy high one.

B major, one of the easiest ways to sicken.

No, I think the general surprise for me, Chris, is that Hamish is vaguely in tune during that opener, isn't he?

I was accustomed to the days when he used to do more than one take and go, that'll do.

It's funny because that's probably the oldest thing because that appeared back in radio days.

That's probably the only thing, opener that I can think of.

And that would have been absolutely one take.

And we thought we were going to do it once.

And it's now stuck around for 10 years.

Much to my despair.

You can't change it.

Haim, you wanted the top of the show today.

Oh, boy.

It's special day in the kingdom of impulse buyers.

What's the sun god been on?

even the sun god's been

done something rash even for a god who invented the universe

the sun god has gone and

shone some sun rays on a pile of money and burnt it the sun god has incinerated some money

from the joint account but the sun god wishes hear him out he is the god of all things i've bought something that is the king of impulse buys this is the big one this This is the joint account.

This is the biggest fish of all the fish

thus far.

I saw this thing two years ago, right when we're in the, I reckon in the heart of Impulse Club.

And I was like, oh my God, look at that.

How much it costs?

Don't worry about that.

I was like, look at that.

That needs to be had.

They weren't made at that stage.

They're an invention and they were.

Oh, they were trying to crowd.

Kickstarters.

Yeah, they were, yeah.

Oversubscribed, I'll have you know.

They went viral around the world.

Did you show me this at the time?

I might have.

I might have.

And then it came to my attention the other day that they are now in production.

What is it?

Do you remember?

Did I show you?

Did you showed me a drone that follows you?

No, although very keen.

People think that exists and it doesn't.

I'm still, they'll come out.

What do you want to film yourself doing?

Well, like, you play golf and it'll follow you the whole round just filming it.

Oh, that's a good idea.

Walking pace, I guess.

Although, if you were wearing these, you might be a bit faster

than walking pace do you remember me showing you robotic shoes called moon walkers

yes to paint the picture they're each shoe is like a little sled that has eight wheels on it that have an electric motor in them

And you then strap that little sled to your feet.

So you're still wearing your shoes and you strap it on.

And they flex.

You walk along and using AI and electric motors it speeds you up two and a half times the speed of your normal walk and you walk normally but you walk normally and you are zooming along

walk at the speed of a run

is their tagline so i'm showing you guys a video now yeah this will be me look at that walking at the speed of a run

i mean all right and they show going uphill downhill yeah they're amazing You gotta, those models showing that off, Jack.

They've done like five years of training to make that look normal.

It's interesting that you say that because I bought them about two weeks ago.

When are they due?

Amazing timing.

While we're here, like we're here doing the podcast now.

We just had sushi for lunch.

Zoe sends me a message.

They've landed on the front doorstep.

She's like, What are these?

Because it's quite clear from the outside they're robotic shoes.

And I just went, put them aside.

You know, I'll be home later.

just

a lot of head shaking going on from Zoe can you please not try them without us being there I well the thing is you have to learn how to do it I know but that's why I'd like you to please not try

without us being there it's just I realize you need to capture first go yeah we can we can we can I know that eventually we'll give these away oh yeah because I might not it's when you got kangaroo boots when you said that you'd be able to jump these are more single and then we got a grandpa that was you know the office friend of ours halves to come out and he could jump over a box he could jump over a box and you couldn't but these are more practical than the kangaroo boots although it's a bold move to wear them in public well it looks like a sandal it looks like it does look like a reef sandal

like a chunky reef sandal with eight wheels on the bottom

it's one of those it's a fascinating category of product because you look at it and go I want to have a go.

Those that are a little bit more susceptible to marketing will spill further and buy them.

But then when you think about that, so they get so excited when you buy it.

They send you emails going, you know, they're on their way.

And hey, I'm the founder and thanks so much for supporting a robotics company.

They're an impressive piece of equipment.

But then...

How much?

Then they start going.

Then they start going.

This is where you know how much they've cost.

We don't know how much they've cost.

Well, I do in my heart.

And then they go, like, we'd love to know, like, what are you going to use your moonwalkers for?

Do you want them to use, like just tick a box for what you're going to use them for underneath the box to improve my daily commute

no

to be more efficient at work no i'm not going to wear them around in here to make walking easier

to find it quite easy and then to do something else i guess yeah and that's when you realize what am i gonna what am i gonna do did i buy these to have

one go of them and i might have bought these to have one go however you then look at the reviews then another email came the reviews let me read you some of these they're not emailing you the real reviews are they

they're not gonna go no no they go don't take our word for it check out what are some of because I maybe they maybe maybe they have a thing where people return them in the interim where they're like oh my god I love these so much and then they start going are you

what will I use they got to that ticking box section and went

I've got no read for these.

So they go, don't take our word for us.

Check out what other your fellow Moonwalker users have to say um

one person five stars they make my daily commute so much faster i save time walking so i can spend longer with my family

so the kids will be going you're home early dad yeah

have you noticed my red bush

so if his commute is

half an hour walk yep two and a half times faster he's getting there in 10 minutes he's walking at the speed of a run he's walking at the speed of a run

um next review five stars able to move much more efficiently

you're like i was hating walking able to move much more efficiently saving 30 to 75 minutes per day would you say that they've sorry that's a huge amount you were walking by my calculations to save 75 minutes a day you was walking for 200 minutes a day yeah because so that's a that might be a postman or someone that's was walking a lot but it Yeah, so

to me, I mean, rollerblades, roller skates, they look very similar, don't they, to those?

And there's motorized versions of them now.

Is there?

No.

No, but these, you can strap these on your shoe.

Yes.

And that's a lot better.

Okay.

And how do they go on rougher terrain?

Like, even some of the footpaths.

Sometimes

you can do even the footpath.

Yes.

If it's a bit cracked, they love

them.

They'd love cracks.

They gobble them up.

This is another review here.

It works so great, even on cracks.

Right, well, we'll just, I mean, if we can't be there, because I know you'll, you'll, he'll rip this over as soon as he gets home.

There's no way he's holding out for us.

If we can't be there, we have to at least send someone to film you.

All right, I will, I will, we'll, I'll film the first because you have to do training on them first.

I imagine so.

And, and get used to this like gestures and stuff you have to do.

Look, it's actually not when you start thinking about all the minutes you save and about how some of the other reviews talk about how they make the walking experience far more interesting, when you start looking at that value that they add to your life, I don't think $1,500

is

too much of a dint in the old hip pocket for time gained and efficiency earned.

Oh,

no, no, no,

mate.

That money was just sitting there.

I've been watching it for months.

It's not doing anything.

Truth is hard to come by these days.

Everyone has their own truth, would we agree?

I was about to scream out, dare.

Donald Trump has his truth social.

Of course, that's very factual.

It's hard to find hard truths these days.

Everything could have a counter opinion.

But I wanted to see whether between the three of us, we could agree on some soft truths.

These are elements in life that we can all accept a truth.

They're not big, big issues.

So I don't think we have to have huge opinions.

But the idea here, if we start small and agree on these, maybe we could build up through medium truths up to some hard truths.

That's a good idea.

That's a really good idea.

This is like day one at the gym.

Just walk.

All you have to do is just get in the door.

So I've got a few soft truths to throw at you today to see if we can agree on them.

Okay.

But we are still allowed to disagree.

Absolutely.

And we can just say we're not agreeing on that.

Five-minute parking spots.

Uh-oh.

Dangerous to me.

A really minimum 15 minutes.

Hamish would park there all day.

Would if I could, and I can.

As you know, Andy, I play the game.

I play the game.

I play it hard and I play it accepting full consequences.

I think it's a strategy I receive.

It's like when you're in the Sopranos.

It's like, hey,

if you're in this thing that we do, this this game, you accept the consequences.

You might end up at the bottom of a river.

That's just part of the game.

Which is a parking fight.

Which is a parking fight for me.

Which is an innocent mistake.

But a five-minute park, you're like, okay, well, I know I'm going to be here guaranteed for longer than five minutes.

Yes.

And I play the game.

And sometimes you can be there for two hours and they don't get you.

And then other days they will get you.

Yeah, I don't think, though, the parking inspector wouldn't get you for anything less than 15.

I agree.

That's my solo point.

As I always say to Zoe, when you usually it's a half hour park.

She's like, oh, you can't park here for dinner.

It's half hour.

It's half hour from when they find you.

Yes, that's exactly right.

Okay.

That's when I don't see them right now.

That's when the clock's already.

So we're already at least 31.

Now, if they come along in 20 minutes' time, we've got this.

Yeah, I agree.

So can we agree?

Yeah.

Five-minute spots are really minimum 15.

Five to 15.

And 15-minute spots are really minimum 45.

I think it's a three-times multiplier.

Yep.

One is a three,

two is a six.

No worries.

Great.

Okay, good.

Another soft truth for us then.

The settings from one to three on a toaster are pointless.

Yep.

Totally pointless.

I think it is.

But also, and the difference between seven to eight is from medium brown to black.

And I don't think anyone ever puts something on for one to three.

Because even if you need a bit more, you're monitoring it.

You're monitoring.

We actually have a very must-be-nice toaster that has has a bit more button.

So when it comes up, you can select literally a bit more and it will go down for a bit.

And I'll just keep sending it up and down, up and down.

Because I'm doing many, many things in the morning because I'm fast and loose.

I will forget about the toast several times.

It's like a snooze button.

And I'll send it down for a bit more.

And it will.

Because then when it's been up for a while, you've got to send it down to just get warm.

Yeah, so I'm just sending it down to get warm, but I don't think it does any cooking.

Yeah.

Which, if I didn't have that, if times were tough, i would buy a toaster with yeah and i just put it down at one to three yep yeah

okay

the vacuum cleaner comes with eight different heads normally i throw them out yeah you do no one is using more than three of them i throw them out first thing i do yeah absolutely we agree on the three i i use one there's two modes

i use one and then nozzle off there's two modes that's it there's two modes there's two modes for a vacuum cleaner the big head and the pipe and when you're trying to get the the pipe in a corner,

who remembers where they've got the other thin nose?

Yes.

Because mine's thrown out.

Just because I'm sick of seeing it in the cupboard.

And the way you get dirt out of the corner is just jamming the pipe in the corner as hard as you can

and it doesn't work.

But then you use your fingers to sweep crumbs out of the corner and then you can get them up.

So it's never perfect.

So you think it's...

I was going to suggest you have...

The flat one, like the normal one you always use.

Then you've got the anteater nozzle, the thin nose.

And then you've got the brush.

Oh, here we go, Jack.

Well, it's a slippery slurp mode.

And then you've got the articulated brush, and soon you've got them all back.

You can't give an inch.

Okay, so we can't agree on this one.

In the 80s, two modes were good enough in the 80s, head and pipe.

Smart for Hamish as well to throw them out straight away because there's things that you just know you're never going to use.

I do it with the spare button on a button-up shirt.

Throw that out every time.

Throw that straight away because you're never, ever going to find it again when you need it.

Well, I'm not going to get into a little canister with a buttons written to what a surprise.

Labelled.

Labelled, colour-coded.

And you will be able to bring it up on his spreadsheet immediately.

Yes, industry olive shirt.

Photograph of him wearing the shirt for reference.

Goes down to the knickknacks archive under the house, walks up to aisle 33b, walks along.

Here we go.

He's a game.

Chat to the old lady who manages it for me.

It's like your archive.

Library.

Oh, I think I've seen you down here.

Said See, you're looking for the smoke alarm battery.

No, Doris, is he?

Well, no, that's daylight savings is when I changed that.

All right, we agreed on two out of three.

That's not too bad.

Yeah, you're not going to get us on that one.

Hey,

I can't believe I've haven't got to this earlier, but

the best ever.

pledge of I will not talk about a certain character came from a pilot where

I sent you

the picture.

I think we posted it on our pipes.

But I had another one yesterday.

Streets of Melbourne.

What?

On the streets of Melbourne.

Okay.

Sorry, not just, that just wasn't like a cool song title.

On the streets of Melbourne, gentlemen comes up and it's very cold.

Very, very cold.

Under two layers.

Zip, zip.

Opens up.

It's like the Army Reserve's out.

The Army Reserve.

And it was just like, I'm just making sure that the pledge remains.

And they said, good work.

good work get it out there well i was on a flight back from london the actual pilot must be nice uh the actual pilot you would have been very close to

as i was in the terminal i was walking past him and he said andy and he unbuttoned his pilot shirt and just like superman just giving a little sneak peek as hey what's this and he had that i will not mention obviously

right and i think the best way to wear the t-shirt is under multiple ways of covering i encourage i encourage that go nut

i still don't know whether this shirt's available but go check it out there might not be any left but please if you'd like some of the last but the

it when i saw that photo of the pilot i was just like this is exactly the areas we don't want it mentioned in exactly and so to be ramping up the confidentiality in the airline sector isn't perfect

So I immediately knew that the pilot was a listener.

I got on, and when he did did his initial address to the whole cabin, I really realized he was a listener.

Now, I couldn't get my phone out in time to record it.

So I double-checked it with Beck.

We feel like we've got the great recreation here of exactly how he addressed the entire cabin as they came back to Melbourne from London.

Ahoy, ladies and gentlemen, and Qantas One World Flyers, gusto to you.

We have a flight time of three hours and 16 minutes.

There could be possible delays into our final destination due to traffic, which we'll do our best to weasel out of.

But sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.

For those travelling on, we wish you a safe forward journey.

And for those arriving home, that must be very nice.

We've ticked all the boxes.

And did he open the door and then lean out to you and first to go?

Did you like that, mate?

No, I wasn't in first.

Oh, a common businessman.

In touch with the common businessman and shunning his nose.

So

first the worst.

He had done so well.

Cheers, winks.

He did come down and visit Beck and I and we were like, that's nice to meet you.

Eight steps.

Show me the cabin they sleep in.

Very good.

Very nice.

I'd love to.

They have a separate cabin that's not the cockpit.

They do.

I thought they would just.

They'll allow to sleep in the cockpit.

I thought they'd just recline the cockpit chair and the number two would fly for a bit and then they'd swap over.

Yeah, no, I feel like when you really think about it,

cockpits for business.

Like, I think if you are a pilot, you're absolutely on the job in the cockpit.

But if any alarms start buzzing and you were asleep, then you're right.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I think if you're on shift, you're not allowed to sleep.

I understand what you mean, but yes, if you're not flying the plane, I think you're allowed to leave the cockpit and then someone else will fly the plane.

Well, you know where the overhead baggage is.

Yeah, like that.

I've seen that little bunk.

Yeah.

Wait, they sleep in overhead baggage.

Yeah, it's like that, but up the front.

It's like a little bunk system.

I didn't realize

it looked like a cupboard.

He opened it up.

There was a tiny staircase, and I realized that the overhead baggage in the center, the first three, don't come down.

It's actually the little pod.

I love that.

Imagine how snug you would be.

Oh, it looked comfy, mate.

He said he gets seven hours.

This is the kind of stuff you learn about if you go a little further on the plane from business.

He gets business flights.

I'm just saying,

if the person we never mentioned really loved you, he'd be putting you in first.

There was actually no first class on this one.

Not available.

Not available.

Anyway, he was champion.

Legend.

And then came in and did the worst landing I have ever experienced.

Like it just a thud.

Like, you know, when the baggage compartments fling open and drop down, even the ones that aren't meant to, I think the other co-pilot fell out from his sleeping bed.

It was just an absolute Barry Crocker.

And Beck and I'm like, oh, geez.

I wonder how you feel about that.

Is it the computer's fault, though?

Because I heard they land mostly just, there's very little human intervention in the landing.

Here's my question.

So, joining us now.

Now, I can't say whether it's the actual pilot or whether it's just a different pilot altogether because

contractually, they're not allowed to join us.

So, we won't reference anything of those actual flights.

But joining us now is Josh, Pilot Josh.

Ahoy to you.

Ahoy, boys, boys and number six happy birthdays

thank you pilot Josh so Josh a lot I mean sorry I didn't know we're getting an actual pilot on so a lot of you would have did you hear a lot of stuff that was going on there a lot of questions we've got yeah my my first one is where we were talking about the landing is it is there much human intervention in a landing or do you just type into the computer um landplane.exe slash run

well interesting i mean there are there are some aircraft that are entirely capable of of that.

They call it a auto-land.

But there was a specific aircraft and they have to be certain rated.

But a lot of the time, the pilots do like to land by hand.

So

I love land by hand as a bit of lingo.

Josh, when you have a shocker, when you have a bad one, do you know immediately?

Oh, there's not a pilot in the land that doesn't know.

And you can see it coming from about half a mile away, just as you're making your final approach.

You know, it might be set up a little bit wrong and you're feeling a little bit out of place and just there it goes, you know, as you as you touch down, you just know you've done an absolute shock.

Is it to do with wind, or is it just to do with sort of the angle you're coming in at?

Yeah, no, that's uh, that's one of the one of our favorite excuses in the industry: is you know, just in the last 50 feet or so, the wind picked up a little bit and it pushed us off.

But, you know, sometimes it's uh, you know, you're just a little bit lazy, you just kind of want to get there after a long day.

If there's 50 meters to not rush, I'd say it's the final 50.

Rush from 33,000 to 30,000 if you have to rush.

Josh, there's two pilots.

Obviously, there's a pilot and co-pilot.

Is there a singular person in charge of the landing?

Or can you kind of point the finger at both of you at that point?

No,

it depends who's flying the leg.

So if you've been flying together for a few days, you kind of played the rock papers of who's going to get this landing, who's going to get the next landing.

Do you want it?

Yeah.

It depends on the condition.

Sometimes, you know, you'll throw your hands up and say, it's gusting winds, I saw great weather.

I think it's your turn to land today, and you can take the blame.

I think this is going on up there.

Without trying to be funny, it seems like a confidence game.

Like, if you, let's say you were flying with me and three times in a row, I just went, nah, I'm not feeling it.

Would that be enough for the word to get around to be like, don't fly with Hamish.

He's lost his confidence for landings?

Yeah, it is a little bit of a confidence game sometimes.

But, you know, if you're flying, there's always rumors in the industry and, you know, there's always people talking and you know hey this pilot doesn't like to land in these conditions

can't handle it easily

when you've had a bad one

do you stick do you do you not come out straight away do you

stay in the

handshakes cockpit a bit longer so you don't get the eyes from you know the staff or any passengers it is the game sometimes you know if you know you've had a an absolute greaser of a landing a really good landing you know it's whoever's going to get get to the cockpit door first to take the thank yous.

But

if not, then, you know, luckily the doors are installed and are bulletproofs.

You just keep that thing locked until everyone's walked off and you post their side of food and federal.

Under federal law, no one can get in to complain.

Is it a nice thing?

I've never really thought too much about the human side of landings.

I think that's what we're learning a lot about today.

I didn't know so much was land by hand.

I really thought it was the computer.

Is it a nice thing?

Should we all, the next time we fly, would it be a nice thing to say to the pilot, that was a lovely landing if it was a good landing?

Would they appreciate that?

I think the particularly smooth ones you should acknowledge.

And sometimes you get people come up and go, oh, you know, it was a really good landing.

And, you know, it makes you smile a little bit.

And, you know, you look at the other guy and go, you hear that?

We don't get a lot of that when you're flying.

So, just what airport was your worst landing at?

I used to fly a lot out of Wellington, New Zealand, which is one of those notorious windy airports.

And sometimes that autopilot's, you know, it's come off about 10 miles out, it's windy, it's bumpy, and you're just happy to get it on the ground safely and you're not really too worried about what other people have to say.

Yeah, Josh, thank you so much for joining us, mate.

Very insightful.

Appreciate it.

Sounds like a few people did say something.

You've done your best, Josh.

Keep landing them smooth, my friend.

See you, buddy.

Cheers, boys.

Thank you.

Gentlemen, we've covered this area before on the podcast.

Do you think it's fair to say, with the utmost love and respect to our partners, that the women that we're lucky enough to have in our lives have sometimes some slightly more accommodating views on witchcraft than we have

ourselves on witchcraft?

Yes.

Certainly.

Oh, and you put that so well.

It seems like you've gone away and just structured that sentence

on that soon you don't get a spell cast and you as soon as you get home or have a a bone pointed at me and a curse placed uponst thy head yeah

now like there's there's a spectrum there's a spectrum of of of witchcraft i think like most this is you know i know i'm generalizing here but most most women like burning sage to cleanse a room right that's just a given now like everyone does that and i think the part of that that's okay is it smells a bit nice and and it gives

you hurting anyone burning sage is just like now that's just we treat it like it's glen 20 like people were just like oh well you've and the amount of times i've heard zoe say to her friends who like move into a new apartment or something or something happens they're like well have you burnt sage like oh well yeah you're you know you're gonna get struck by lightning every day until you burn sage like you have to get the bad spirits out were sage manufacturers yeah

when this myth suddenly started resonating because it would have been in a marketing from them it's probably from them it's like you remember i think that carrots that help you see in the dark that was like a marketing myth really yeah to boom carrots yeah like you if you you get when you get one of these people on your sides yeah and when they pitched it they would have gone no people are going to fall for this like mate get it on tick tock trust this this could take off i was also thinking how disappointed would you be if you were a ghost right like because obviously ghosts hate sage oh yeah apparently if you were ghost parents and your ghost teenager started smoking sage you'd you'd be like what mate what are you doing that's the most rebellious thing you could do as a ghost teenager like get it out of here you're killing her you're killing yourself do you realize how dangerous that is so sage is a given like i used to kind of laugh at it but now i'm like yep we must we must sage the house or any anywhere that has i think we had a leak once really like yeah it was saged a leak sage a leak I think it was due to a bad spirit that was kicking the pipes or standing on the pipes or doing something to the pipes and stressing the pipes, scaring the pipes and they were leaking.

Here's one where I was like, come on, we've got to stop believing TikTok.

So our little girl, like Rudy at the moment is having a bit of like a bit of nighttime anxiety, right?

And that's, that's common for kids around that age.

So there's a few different approaches you can take.

It's sort of like in the middle of the night, waking up, wanting to jump out of bed.

And obviously that's disturbing people's sleep.

So you start to look at like, all right, what solutions can we have?

At the same time, Zoe and I have come to the table with two different solutions.

So I've gone, hey, I found a great thing.

Like it's a mindfulness exercise.

It's sort of like a breathing meditation.

I thought I might start doing that with Rue before she goes to bed.

And I think we should start implementing that as a bit of a nighttime practice.

Zoe goes, well, I actually found something today.

If you cut up limes,

cut limes in half and leave them in a room,

it cleanses.

And then there was a bit of a pause.

Yeah, say it.

She goes, well, demons.

Oh, come on.

You've already had a witch out for this problem.

Remember the witch scare?

That's exactly what I said.

That's exactly what I said.

I go, hang on, didn't we have a witch come through here and she saw no demons?

She goes, well, she wasn't looking for demons.

I was like, honey.

You're a terrible witch if you can't see a demon.

And you can't come back and go, I wasn't looking for demons.

They should be obvious.

It should be very obvious to you as a witch.

No, when you saw our quote, it was...

Ghoul spoog spectres.

It's like a pest sky.

It's like, we called you out for cockroaches, but if you see an ant problem,

if you see a mice, tell us about it.

If you see a tiger walking around the house and you know that's not our tiger you tell us about it

she should have absolutely she should have opened rudy's door and screamed and jumped back into the oh my god there's a bloody demon in there anyway so i've gone what even so i start laughing and i'm like we can't

we can't even entertain this like she goes look i saw it what's the i saw it on you know yes i said you see it on tiktok yeah it was it was on tick tock and i said

what are we even so like what do we even we can't even do this like aren't we crossing a line here if if we cut up limes and put them in our daughter's room because then Rudy's gonna go what's what's the limes doing in my room?

That's exactly right, and and you can't say it's because there's demons

This is too

but don't worry

something in the citrus absorbs it

yeah and also a bit of whiskey and dry ginger also helps absorb the demons

and so like I'm like well can we do the let's do the meditating why don't we try the mindful tating first?

Why don't we try the mindfulness that I think has a little bit more of a chance of working?

And so I was like, well, let's just do them both together.

I was like, absolutely.

No, no, because the mindfulness is going to work and

the limes are going to get the credit.

You're a tribute to the limes.

Yeah, exactly.

Attribute to the limes.

Anyway, I

go downstairs.

I go downstairs.

We do a bit of meditating with Rue, put her to sleep.

As I'm walking out the door, I see on the top of her heater.

So I snuck limes in before I've gone to do the bulb for this.

I was like, I bring the bulbs, I'm like, What's this?

It's like, and she goes, Well, don't take them out of the room.

I was like, Well, it doesn't

work now.

Annoyingly for me, I should have left them in there because then that night, like, grew, you know, it's gonna take time.

Yeah, she wakes up and so is like,

Well,

should have left the lines,

took the limes out.

Unbelievable.

Everyone has a podcast these days.

We know that to be a fact.

If you're a celebrity, you have to have one, it seems.

I think you might.

I think it's like private health insurance.

If you earn over a certain amount, you have to have private health insurance.

I think if you say with a celebrity, you must have a podcast and then you get hit by a levy or something.

Yeah, you're too much of a drain on the public podcasting system.

Pay your way.

So, Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld, he obviously got stung by the levy two years ago last year, launched his own podcast to avoid it.

Started by him.

Jerry doesn't have owned.

Julie Ori Dreyfus actually has a great one.

Love Julie Oey Dreyfus.

So they're all getting, you know, Jerry will be next.

The keen ears of Podcast Mike here noticed something in Jason Alexander's podcast, right?

And I'm, what's the name of it?

Can we get some context?

Is it just him?

Don't tell me, him chatting to other people in the industry?

Yeah, it's just him chatting to other people, sharing some stories about the industry and a bit of Take Me Back and occasionally weaving in an interesting Seinfeld anecdote.

Am I in the ballpark?

You are.

It's called Really, No Really

with Jason Alexander and Peter Tilden.

And yes,

it's him just being a little shocked and having people in shape.

Okay, good stuff.

This is

what was brought to my attention.

You did that show for three years?

Three years.

Over a thousand performances.

Okay, I

Where'd the restaurant bell come from?

He's using a bell.

I've listened and I've watched a fair few things.

I can't work out how he uses it.

What's he using it from?

Because it didn't seem like the wrap-up.

He sounded mid-conversation.

From what I could gather, is when he thought that's interesting, he used it.

Right.

So

it's like the guy I'm breaking bad, uncle Mess

communicating with his bell.

So he's chatting to Newman here in this particular pod, but have another quick listen to it.

See if you can work out.

You did that show for three years?

Three years.

Over a thousand performances.

Okay, I think that's a good question.

Yeah, because it's when you got a number.

Yeah, because it's not when they mention a number, because three years gets a ding, but a thousand performances doesn't.

Yeah.

Unless it's like a correct bell.

Yeah, that's true, yeah, because they do reiterate.

Yes, I did do it for three years.

So you reckon for every one of his guests, they have a fact checker.

And so

Jason will throw it Newman.

I can't really use the actors.

Why not?

Why not?

Why not?

He throws to Wayne.

You did it for three years.

Three years.

Wayne confirms it.

They get a nod from the fact checker.

Then he hits the bell.

Is that what it's doing?

You did that show for three years?

Three years.

I think they have the correct bell.

And you had bronchitis?

Ding.

Pneumonia.

Oh, sorry.

Right, right.

Okay.

So

here's something that I wanted to put to you guys.

I feel like he's encroaching on our use of the bell.

I've never heard another podcast.

I haven't listened to every podcast in the world.

He might not know.

I wondered whether we should write him a cease and desist letter with regards to the bell or we're just happy for him to use his bell.

I mean, we obviously didn't invent that type of bell.

Otherwise, we'll get heat from the hotel reception association.

Yeah, particularly Faulty Towers.

Yeah, anything in that era that uses the unattended bell.

But I think in terms of a that's enough, we kind of use it as, what do we use?

We sort of use it as like the end of the quarter, but instead of a siren, the siren seems, the siren seems too offensive, but it does, it does sort of just seem like, yeah, we've had enough.

We've had enough.

We've had enough of this.

I think ours is clearer than his.

Something people don't know is we used to have three bells.

Me, Jack, and Andy all had a bell.

That's right.

Yeah.

Season one, we had three bells and it was like, you know, setting up the show like his bell.

Everyone got their pens ready.

Yeah, got your bells.

And then it just became that Jack and I weren't dinging it much.

Andy, Andy, which is true for when we all go out for dinner and something like Andy's always the one to go, all right?

Well, that's

Andy's.

Basically, we just realized he's the first to get sick of anything, so we were never digging it.

And

no one talked about it, we just lost our bell.

That's true, that's true.

So, um

Quick temperature check for you guys on AI.

Seeing it creep in much or still largely untouched?

No, I've seen a lot of it.

I am seeing a lot of it.

I signed up to the Image Maker Mid-Journey.

Is that where you ask it to make something and it does?

Yeah, it costs $8 a month and you ask it to make images and you run out quick.

Like the novelty wears off quick.

Yep.

And now I'm locked into the content.

I'm trying to work out whether I should say this.

Now I'll leave.

So interesting.

There was a couple of moments at the moment I'm using it.

Are you?

Yeah, but I

like to do your work.

Yeah.

And here we go.

Oh, 800-byte AI.

I don't go to the studio anymore.

Been there for ages.

Yeah.

So, but I was just

in my head seeing if I'm going to get in trouble, and I think I will.

I'm glad I brought it up.

How big a work are we talking?

There's some.

Like, are you calling back with it?

No, no, no, no.

Like, it's not trouble at home.

I'm happy.

You know, you can risk getting trouble at home.

There's elements in life where you have to fill out.

forms and applications or presentations and so on.

And

you're just getting it to do it

just what saying do a presentation in this style it feels the equivalent of when and Jack you're too young for this but when when Microsoft Encarter came out and you had to buy the CDs for the encyclopedia and you know it's grade six or something and they're like you have to do an assignment on mollusks and you go okay and you go home and you put your the CD in the CD drive and you type in mollusks and you copy and paste and print it out and you submit it and the teachers didn't have Encarter yet yeah but there was a sort of a glory year where you're ahead of them and they'll go you know okay we're gonna do a project on ancient egypt no worries how's 30 000 words sound

dump a dump a whole ream of paper on their dis

get back to me with any markups i don't think they'll be spelling the stokes like how

how

are universities

well that's a fun thing for you whatever whatever you're doing whatever you're cheating with with it that's the fun thing because you need kids they're getting like penalized.

No one's catching you because you, you know, you're operating, sounds like in the wild west of whatever you're.

How are they getting penalized?

Because now AI is so hard to catch it.

It's so hard to catch it.

Plagiarism was easy.

They could kind of go.

Yeah, you just scan for it.

Well, here's it.

It's funny we're talking about printers.

Like, because I know once AI, I'm looking forward to when AI gets into the machines.

Now, I know there's a risk that the fridges will like all, you know, unionize and kill us or something.

Like, you know, you can't make your appliances too,

smart because they could just organize and then we're dead.

Sorry, just on that,

if there was an appliance that did take over the world, which one do you want?

As our overlord.

As our overlord.

Toaster, blender, fridge.

You'd mind.

I don't think they can do that

much.

I guess the fridge could turn the temperature up and make the milk go off and then we get sick.

Yeah.

That's the way I get it.

That is a power.

I'm not trying to be cookie here, but I think I could still take on most of my appliances and win.

I think we've still got them.

But

here's where I would like to see a little bit more intelligence.

Because you do have conversations a little bit with your technology as it stands.

Like my printer, right?

The printer is the thing because it has a screen and it the attitude of a printer is always it's telling you what's going on.

Now, you know, I dislike printers and I've been

never found one I like.

My one at the moment tells you what's going on.

Like it will go, oh, no, I'm not online.

And you'll go, well, you are.

So, but it's so defiant.

It kind of reminds me of like when my kids were like three years old.

Like the printer just says a fact and like that's, that's the fact.

The big one is

there's no paper.

So you go to print and my printer just always goes, yo, there's no paper.

And you go, you got a hundred sheets in you.

I've just loaded you in.

That's when I'm looking forward to AI.

So you can talk to it to go, hey, idiot, what's this?

Like if it has eyes or something, you can go, oh, really?

like look at this and it will have to be humble and go whoa you're right sir and then at night it'll tell the fridge to kill you but it will still be it would be nice to just humble the appliance i think a little bit they just launched a ai robot that they've been teaching which was absolutely scary where the the the frankenstein guy the doctor the scientist who had built it went to touch it on its nose and it looked kind of like a robot accumulate.

So it went to touch it on its nose and it backed away.

And it reached out and then it reaches,

the robot put its hand up and just brushed the man's hand away because it didn't want to be touched on the nose.

Yeah.

Right.

So we found their weak spot, which is positive.

That's good.

Like sharks.

He's so smart.

We left a little Achilles nose on him so we can get in there.

I mean, it is funny.

Like

the, you know, the whole argument is like the more we inject, like the more data it learns, the smarter it gets.

This is where it really comes down to what you define intelligence as because i was thinking about this the other day too where i'm like we've got this the models where like they're getting smarter and smarter because they're like learning more and more and more stuff like chat gpt has read the whole internet and that makes it smarter that's i've got an argument that is not how human intelligence works because based on me trying to learn golf from youtube

i have ingested everything there is to know and I'm dumber.

Like it's made me much worse.

There's too, I've got too much in my head now and it all clunks into each other as it tries to form one thought.

Like, so when I now go to take a golf swing, I have like a hundred things going on in my head.

And it's like, I saw this, what's that YouTube?

I remember that kid.

That kid did a trick shot.

He plays golf on a skateboard.

Pretend I'm on a skateboard.

No, I don't do that.

But doesn't he, but that AI knows which one to choose.

Yeah.

That's why they're better than us.

Because it does.

We can't get smarter by their methods.

we can't get smarter by learning more like i just think there's a point where it just bottlenecks and you've got too much or human intelligence actually maybe because they're they're like unbiased enough to read it all human intelligence we're all suckers for this where we go

like if if we were if we were in a computer and someone gave us the prompt like tell me like i don't know what you're illegally doing ando that you're getting away with but if it was like you know write an excuse so i don't have to pay land tax um i or whatever you're using it for,

I would then like read the first fact about land tax and go, God, I'm good at this.

I know everything about this.

And I wouldn't read the rest.

Like, that's human intelligence.

We just get in the way.

We give up.

We give up.

We know we know one thing and tell everyone it, like at a dinner party.

Yeah, I get the gist.

Yeah, I get the digit

just going, Chat GPT.

Did you look at all the sources?

Thinking, thinking, thinking.

Look, I'll be honest with you, I just got the gist.

But this is

pretty good.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

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