2024 Ep 261 - Totally Normal Tax Deductions

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One.

Ahoy to me, Yeti, Hamish.

Oh, I hope we're insulated cops.

Ahoy to me, yowie, Jack.

No.

Okay, we're just mythical names for Bigfoot.

Yeah, and I'm a Sasquatch.

Yeah.

We're all essentially the same animal, different habitats.

Yeah,

well, they call them cryptids, which is mythical animals.

Yeah.

And yeah, obviously most commonly known as Bigfoot.

But the Yeti

in the cold.

Yowie in Australia and the Sash Watch, we tried to find one ham.

We did try to

our absolute best.

Yes.

With a man that you couldn't pin down.

No, you couldn't.

But he was

adamant that Bigfoots were out there and then we left a bunch of apples out for the Bigfoot overnight camping in the woods in Canada.

And Andy and I were like, thousand, thousand percent, he's getting up in the middle of the night and taking the apples off the tree.

Yeah.

But he didn't.

In the morning, he went and said, look, obviously there's no Bigfoot around.

And

if it was a hoax, I would have just faked it.

So the fact that there's 10 apples still on that tree shows that I'm legit.

So we didn't catch one today, but all my videos and stuff are real.

We set up a little camera to try and catch him on the table.

Spurious argument, but we kind of have to hand it to you.

Well done.

Ahoy also to Cody.

Yowie country in Australia.

Coming in hot from Yowie town.

Ahoy, boys.

Just trying to do this message without any forced gusto.

So just going to let it happen naturally.

Good on you.

No, I just drove past a bakery that said

world's best bakery.

And it made me think like, at what point would you actually believe them?

Yeah.

For example, like if you drove past one that said state's best bakery, would you go, nah.

How about

town's best bakery?

Yeah.

I'd go, oh yeah, I could see that happening.

How about Smith Street's best bakery?

Then you definitely believe them, right?

No, good.

Yeah, it just made me

think about it all too much.

Anyway, boys, hope you have a good time, and I'll speak to you later.

Well, good on him for not forcing any gusto because it was quite a low-energy music.

But he's right.

When you zoom from the macro to the micro, like at some point in there, you would begin to believe it.

There are so many small towns with two bakeries

that face each other.

And I would love to

see you.

I would love to see town's best bakery, which is just shots fired.

Facing over the road, easily the town's best bakery.

Haim, you said you wanted to kick things off today.

Yes, I want to start with, I actually want to start with a small game.

And it was inspired by something I saw yesterday as I was walking along.

I was walking along the street past one of those tax return shops.

Okay.

There are a bunch of, you know, you see a bunch of them around and, you know.

This one had the slogan that said out the front, it said, we have the best tax ideas.

And I went,

I said, now there's a shop we could get around because you you think they're laws but really they're just ideas are they and everyone's just trying out their own ideas yes and it occurred to me that no one's got better tax ideas

you just have some ideas and you have a go for deductions and look you know without wanting to get anyone too much hot soup there's one man i know that has the best tax ideas and i would say that's jack he has often some creative tax ideas but closely followed by i'd say you have some good tax ideas from i've got some good tax ideas.

One time, and I don't know why I still think of this, but one time when I first started working with you guys, you said, don't worry about your tax return.

They'll never audit you.

No, Andy said that.

He sent that to the group.

Yeah, I've since passed that on a few times.

And then I've been told, no, we will worry about it.

For some reason, I think of that as like, because my accountant keeps sending me this thing, it's like, do you want to get audit protect so that if they audit you, you you're not being audited well i won't name who it was but it was my in my hockey team no one of the auditors from the government yeah he's not gonna do it that was someone else

but he was management yeah and so he said oh you're and i was asking him about tax ideas

and and he it was him that said don't worry about it back in the day but that times are very different when i gave you that information that was

as you're as you're being just leaving university

as jack's being perp walked out of gold 104

like sam bankman freed

i don't think he'll be able to be screaming but andy said and he said

someone call andy there's been a huge mistake

I'd like to make it very clear that my days of the tax ideas have changed dramatically since just leaving university.

Yeah, well, here's the thing.

We've all got these days um you know you have the best tax ideas but also the other thing that these places love to advertise is very fast very very fast tax returns like you have it very soon so I want to combine those two ideas okay I want to combine the two concepts here in a small game now this will we'll we can like pause the record and play some music while this happens here's how it's going to work I'm going to give you a profession Okay,

you guys are now working for this tax company.

Okay.

Post-lead tax ideas.

Yep.

I'm going going to give you a profession.

You've got 30 seconds to email me as many deductions as you can for that profession.

And then we're going to do three rounds of this.

And then I think we've got, I'm going to get an actual tax person up to see if these are legit deductions.

Okay, so what's the actual accountant?

Do we have to give, sorry, do we have to give reasons in the email or we can just

literally fire them through and I might, yes, I might.

Fire them through to me and I might just quiz you on why they're.

And are we doing the same profession?

Yeah, you are.

Yeah.

Okay.

So, round one,

many deductions as you can think of, 30 seconds, just email them just literally what they are.

Like, this is the item.

Painter, go.

Time is up.

Okay.

Send them through and I'll just have a quick look.

I feel like I've had some of the best ideas.

I've had some good ideas as well.

Okay, you've submitted painter.

Next round,

bus driver.

Oh, okay.

Go.

Time's up.

How are we going with bus driver?

Bus driver, yes.

Ah, harder, harder.

I'm setting mine

to you now.

Good stuff.

Well done.

We do love to have good ideas at this tax house, but that was a tough one.

Well, you've got to do it this fast if you want to get there's returns in Florida.

If you want the return by tomorrow, you've got to get that email out today.

Okay, last round.

Chef.

Time is up.

Chef deductions are in.

Jack, you don't seem.

There's this a point where mine go from like

what is very obviously a deduction for that.

profession to creative licensing.

Well, that's where the best ideas come from.

That's where the chef is.

I mean, everyone can say knives for a chef, but let's see what else you got.

I've just had a quick peek.

But let's do this properly.

We now have an official tax accountant that's willing to join us on the phone.

What I'm going to do is run through each round and just see all I want is like a yes, no, a maybe.

You get a point for every yes.

We'll see which of you guys is the best,

best creative accountant at your firm.

Do we have John, our accountant?

Yes, you do.

John, thanks.

Ahoy.

Ahoy to you.

And gusto to you.

And thank you for joining us, John.

No problem.

John, what I've done here is a small simulation, a pressure test on Andy and Jack.

They each had 30 seconds to write down as many tax deductions as they could

for certain professions.

There's going to be three rounds.

What I'd like to do is run through each of their deductions with you and you say yes, no, or maybe to whether or not those would be allowed deductions for that profession.

And I think the simplest way to score this is to give the person with the most yeses the win for that round.

Does that make sense, John?

So it's not media producers and presenters, it's just any professional

deductions.

And he's already

declared John that I did get the prize for accounting in year 12.

So I have got a slight advantage over

Jack heading into this battle.

I'd be so surprised if the VCE accounting exam was what deductions should you put for a painter?

All right, all right.

Yes, no, maybe if this could be, if this could be claimed.

So we've got Jack up first with his deductions for painters.

Okay, let's go through them.

John, deduction number one, laptop.

Yes.

Good one.

Number two, paint.

Yes.

Number three, car expenses.

Yes, right.

Number four, overalls.

Yes.

Shoes.

As long as it's protective, yes.

Yeah, Yeah, that's what.

Is that what you mean?

They were, they were.

Number six, microwave.

Why Jack?

I've seen painters who brought...

He might take his microwave to do his lunch.

He does.

He brings a microwave and a kettle with him.

Well, that's number seven as well.

So microwave and kettle.

And he might heat his paint up.

Yeah.

So is that a yes, yes?

Two yeses?

Gee, hang on.

Microwave and kettle.

Okay, ladder.

Yes.

And the final item that Jack came up with was holiday to a colourful city.

Definitely no.

That was a research

research base.

Unless it's, it could be a conference.

So yeah, maybe they might have a painting conference in Vegas or something.

So, you know, that might work.

It seemed like you were just going to try and claim that it was for color research, Jack.

Yes.

We always try and get that.

Okay, that's eight.

We'll go with that's eight.

All right, Ando.

Well done.

Well done.

Andy had paint.

Yep.

You know that's it right now.

Yeah, that's in.

Brushes.

Yep.

Good one.

Airbnb stays.

Well, just because

if he was traveling for work and staying Airbnb,

so maybe.

Yeah.

Doing some painting on the holiday.

Yes.

Okay.

No, sorry, doing some painting into stay.

Yeah, he's just painting.

Okay.

Overalls was the next one.

We know that's a yes.

All shoes.

So not just brushes.

Did you actually write all andy's gone for all shoes all shoes every shoe he buys no no okay no why not why all shoes andy well because it's nice to do to paint a different style of shoes and of course also when i go when i go to show people like through the house i've just painted i like to wear a nicer shoe at the end that's true you don't want the ones that got paint all over them actually that's a reasonable that's a reasonable it's in

andy's got it on an argument Reasonableness passes the ATO.

Yeah.

And I'm nervous about the last one, but Andy's written two overseas trips.

Well, they may have a conference, as I said.

The artist was more interested in the kind of in Croatia, what painting techniques they might be using.

They might be very historic and very, you know,

something to learn.

Yeah, something to learn.

They have those conferences, you know, that passes the pub test.

Yeah, okay.

We're at a conference, though, and neither of us did say that it was an overseas conference.

Jack, I love Jack yelling out when Andy said Croatia.

Jack just was like, Yes, yes, let's go back anywhere.

I think

even

yeah, that was eight to seven, even with the commons.

All right, let's quickly move on to bus driver.

Okay, Jack,

Jack said uniform, yes, yes, boots, yes,

sunglasses, yeah, that's fair, Yes.

Yep.

Money wallet.

Well, I was picturing people giving him coins, but...

A little money wallet.

Oh, yeah, like a little bum bag thing.

Yeah.

Like one you strap to yourself when you travel overseas.

I mean, it's not going to be the biggest tax.

I haven't paid for a while on the bus.

I suppose that'd be okay.

I wouldn't be licking the lips too much as the tax return came back with the bum bag.

The bum bag receipt.

But yes, that's a point.

Jack, lunch.

No.

No.

no, no.

No,

the reason I thought he might be able to claim his lunch is because he could be anywhere in the city on a bus route and have to go somewhere that he's not familiar with.

It's private in nature.

It is private in nature, Jack.

Do you claim your lunch, Jack?

No, but if I had to say be in a completely different part of town, I might go, well, you're claiming that lunch.

Wouldn't you just do that then, anyway?

It's another day in a row after another part of town under the confusion laws.

Where am I?

I needed to eat for my job.

Okay, no, Jack.

And then, Jack, you finished with communication classes.

What's that?

Sounds boring.

I thought, because the bus driver talks to people as they're coming in on and off, so maybe you could go to...

I don't really know what a communication class is.

Sounds like a conference to me.

It was overseas, yes.

so we've got

you're pushing it there, yeah.

Okay, only fall ever.

Okay, Ando, your bus driver.

Andy's coming here.

Andy starts with two overseas trips.

Just be nice to see what kind of buses they have.

I love that bus.

We're involved in a bus business, and they do have a lot of overseas bus conferences.

Okay, there we go.

Two overseas trips for Ando.

The drivers don't normally go, though.

Well, this one does.

They might now.

Bus fares.

so like on other buses yeah just to check out the competition

yeah that'd be an extra fair

shirts shirts all shirts or just bus shirts well again after uniform i think shoes yeah yes yep that's well protective again yeah andy's got three lunches just three no that was just to no

this was

to take management out no

I thought you were allowed to do some management.

No, management should take him out.

Okay, that's not okay.

This is

hats.

All hats, Sando?

Yeah.

Hatted coming up, yeah, because it's the tricky hat.

Okay.

Oh, it's tired.

Eli needs one more here.

Sunglasses.

Yes.

Yes.

He's got it.

Sunglasses gives him 5-4 and driving course.

Again, both of you included in course.

That would be like a communication.

Advanced driving course.

Advanced would probably be yes.

Is it a bus driving course or is it a car course?

It's not stipulated.

Because if it was preliminary driving, if it was preliminary driving, then it'd be no.

No, advanced driving course.

But Ando, was it car or bus?

I don't remember.

Oh, he's kind of done a stunt driving course for fun.

Anyway, but that's good.

That's kind of creative.

Things are after.

All right, this is for the win then.

Who can claim the most for chef?

Andy would like to claim 25 dinners.

Yes.

All cutlery, crockery, and utensils, which is sort of a three-pointer.

Well, yes.

35 lunches.

Well, if he's sampling the competition,

there's probably an argument you could, yeah.

Yeah, HIM.

He reins it in on dinners, but he goes wild with 35 lunches.

All groceries, like weekly groceries.

No.

No.

How am I going to develop the next great dinner?

Because the business buys the food, not the

and then you have goods for own use if you own the restaurant.

What if he goes to a conference at college next week?

Um, then Andy's got five overseas trips now, cranking it up.

Well, maybe, yeah, just got to see what's happening in the food landscape around the world.

Um, a computer, yes, and hats,

yeah, hats, yes, yes,

all hats, all hats, all hats, chef's hats, Andy.

Sorry, Anything.

Here we go, Jack.

Can you beat eight?

You've got quite a few here.

Jack, with all food.

No.

Yeah, most of the time.

Same reasoning as groceries.

I thought they could practice at home.

Jack, eating at any restaurant.

Yeah.

Yep.

Tattoos.

Oh, that's interesting.

Obviously, based off the bear.

No.

I'd like Jack.

Hat, I assume you mean chef's hat there, Jack?

Yes.

Yep.

The DVD of the hit film Ratatouille.

No.

Oh, it's instructional.

It is instructional.

It's about cooking.

Yeah, actually, yeah.

Holiday to country known for cuisines.

Yes.

Conference again.

Conference.

Yep.

And holiday to the spice islands.

Holiday to the Spice Islands.

The where?

Spice Islands.

Spice Islands, which I don't think have been.

I think in the 1600s there was the Spice Islands, but now we can obviously get spices at the shops.

I think once you tick holiday on your visa, you're going to be in trouble.

Sorry, like

I probably meant like

a quest to the spice.

Now we are in the spinner.

A $10,000 pouch of cinnamon coming up.

How is this different

overseas trips?

Ando, you've smashed that eight place for in the final round.

The accounting prize holds.

Jack, a couple of wobbles there and a few

sweats under the collar, too, for Jack, using some of his preferred deductions in his own life.

But also a great learning, I think, that we've got to do more overseas conferences.

We do.

We've got to get more of those.

That's really the message out.

Let's absolutely.

Isn't there a podcasting conference in Queenstown in New Zealand in the sort of early September?

Yeah.

I think so.

Jack, you better be careful.

Yeah.

The ATO will be right on you.

After listening to this or just in general?

After listening to this,

the alarm bells will be going off.

John, thank you, mate.

Really appreciate it.

All a good fun right, Jack.

John, one last question about the ATO.

It would be essentially randomized who they pick, wouldn't it?

It wouldn't be like someone listening to the podcast and then deciding to follow things up further.

It's a good question because that is asking for a major

against the Constitution.

Yeah, they can't actually victimise you for that.

Brilliant.

It has to be randomly picked up.

Brilliant.

Because then, if they do, now I can go, well, is it because you heard the podcast?

That's unconstitutional.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jack, you've got them on the constitutional law.

This is like the castle all over again.

All right.

Well done.

Thank you, John.

Take care.

Thanks, John.

Great fun.

Let's have a good day.

Cheers.

Hold on to you, Ando.

Jack, for people who don't know, does a very popular, the number one breakfast show in Melbourne

with a fellow called Christian O'Connell.

Question comes from me, Jack.

Do you not want them to know that we exist?

No, I'm proud of working on the show.

I don't think you are.

Do you feel like you have to keep the two families apart?

Well,

the radio station in particular, because this podcast is run by one radio station and we're a different radio network, They don't like the mixing of it so much.

Right.

Because it feels at times like you went away on a holiday and had illegitimate children with disaster and you visit us from time to time, but you don't want your regular wife, Christian, knowing about it.

Oh, I'm very proud of this fairy potential.

You say to us.

Well,

when we see you on when we see you every second weekend.

Why do we always have to meet you in a car park?

The thing is, the reason I say that is because obviously we've got a number of running jokes in the show and

we've got a number of nicknames that we've got for each other.

And number six is a prominent one for you.

Yep.

Do you know where I'm going with this?

I think somebody called up the radio show and referred to me as number six.

No.

Okay.

I thought there was

the perfect time for you to self-report because there's never been a clearer segment about a number and what it means to someone.

It was the weirdest.

Oh my God.

Yes, now I know what you're saying.

This is how it went down.

So, six years ago today, June the 4th, 2018, me, Jack, and Bats began a radio show together.

Today, we want to know what does the number six mean to you on our show anniversary, our show day?

Jackie boy, the number six, why is it significant to you?

You wouldn't know this, but while I was working on Hamesh and Andy on my very early days at Fox FM, I was also given the opportunity to try out as a music DJ.

And

the show I was on was called Six on the Beach where I had to pretend

where I had to pretend I was on a different beach of Melbourne each night bringing you the six hottest songs.

So many significant beaches of Melbourne.

Bringing you the six hottest songs and I only lasted two weeks.

Wow.

And we know your acting is powerful.

It's probably too people it's too actually probably too believable.

Perfect opportunity.

When else would you ever get on a radio?

show what does the number six mean to you and you drag your mind back to 2014 or whenever six on the beach was and then he says because i was like oh my god here we go because he says well i'll work with habish andy like oh my gosh

finally he's happy mentioning us in front of his new wife

but i did mention you so i don't don't get too distraught about it.

No, but you actually mentioned it, you said, back when I worked with Habish and Andy.

Yeah.

So it was true.

It's obviously like I don't work here anymore.

You like to please Christian by telling telling him that's all in the past, man.

And I

it doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

I did work with those guys.

I now work with you.

I hobby with them.

I might be caught hobbying with them from time to time, but not in a work capacity.

It honestly didn't cross my mind.

That's even worse.

That's even worse.

You're number six on the show.

Yeah.

But I don't

want his birthday last week.

It honestly didn't cross my mind.

Oh, dad.

Anyway, thank you, bud.

Well, I love being there.

I love you guys.

I love you guys.

Oh, watch your step.

Wow, your attic is so dark.

Dark.

I know, right?

It's the perfect place to stream horror movies.

What movie is that?

I haven't pressed play yet.

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Hey, earlier today, we took on a special skill.

We did, Ando.

His name is Kirk and 24-year-old,

good at tools.

Good at tools.

He claimed, okay, I can eyeball any screw and know which hex key or Allen key goes into it.

Also, can tell just by looking at it the exact length within five mils of a piece of wood or metal.

We went, all right, that's got our attention.

Come on in here.

We set something up in the boardroom here.

This is what happened.

When he looks at some wood, a measurement he sees.

The width of some metal, Kirk will pick it with ease.

If there's a screw with the hexagon, he wants you to show it.

Show it, show it, show it.

What hexkey, yeah, he knows it.

Which, sorry, yeah.

Which hexkey, yeah, he knows it.

That's better.

Kirk?

That's where you say hello.

I mean, I know where everybody listening at Nomi just knowing we're not.

We're in the boardroom, and it's like, it's very serious, isn't it?

We thought we'd make it a boardroom environment.

I imagine when there's all this tool chat, you don't see too many boardrooms, do you?

No, well.

No, that's where we're not.

Not extra pressure on you.

No, yeah.

I mean,

you imagine at the top of SIDCRIME or one of those, there would be a a boardroom somewhere, but for guys like you and Mika, we're not interested in that stuff.

We're a lot below the bus.

We're the boys in the warehouse.

Now, you are a tool maker by trade.

Best tool you've ever made?

There's too many to even name.

Really?

Would it be tools we know, like your classics, or are they specialised tools?

Specialised sort of tools.

Well, give us an example of a specialised tool you think I wouldn't know.

Injection molding die.

Oh, yeah, we know about that.

But you make the die.

Yeah.

It's not really a tool,

is it?

Well, we call it a tool, yeah.

It's a paint.

Oh, you mean dyes in die cast?

Yes, exactly.

Sorry, we thought you were painting the colours.

Now, in that little interaction there, who was more in touch with the common tool worker?

Me for knowing diecast?

Probably.

Well, you got there eventually.

Yeah, but he thought you were still talking about paint.

I've got to say the superior piece.

You're a man that recognises tools handling.

Okay, so

you make injection molding stuff die task.

Okay, that makes sense.

So this is why, because your skill has come to us as a quick refresher for people listening, but we would have already mentioned this.

Your skill is being able to eyeball not just a bolt with a hex key ending on it,

and knowing exactly what mil hex key you need.

What's the difference between a hex key and an LN key?

Yeah, we were wondering this.

I think it's the same thing.

It is the same thing as key.

Unless you're Australian or American.

Or does the Len have to have the bend in it like you get in an IKEA thing?

Because you can get other hex keys, you know, that are just a long hex key with a torque key to drop another.

You don't know DK.

I do know a torque key, 5 newton meter torque key.

Very useful tool.

But we're not here for two blokes that know tools to talk about tools.

We're here to include Andy as well.

One who knows it and one that rides occasionally.

But the reason we get, because you can not only eyeball what hex key you'll need, but also you said any length of steel or wood you can look at it and go I can tell you how long that is to the nearest five mil.

That is also the bit that very much works.

So what we're going to do is it's three rounds piece of metal piece of wood and a screw.

Okay.

I think we start with the screw okay then we go to the wood round and then if you're still in and we will need you to be

at least one from two at that stage, we go to the metal round.

I'm presenting you with a platter of hex keys slash LN keys, apparently not presented like this ever.

I'll hand you the screw.

Check out that hexagon.

What diameter hexagon key fits in the end, snugly, of that screw?

Kirk is picking up an LN key four from the right.

He's about to check whether it fits.

It's too big, isn't it?

I wonder why you went that one.

Surely it's that one next to it.

Because I even know that's probably a six mil and that looks like a five to me which means you're going to have to get two from two on the measuring side of things now before we go to the second and third round which I have lower hopes for a couple of things I want to clarify here

why why did you pick such a fat one and like was it were you excited to just get into the game or why do you usually have them laid out like that yeah so you usually go to water and uh yeah did you know that it needed a five mil looking at that yeah and you just simply picked up the wrong key yes exactly i'll allow that all right now

i suppose we can't give out coins for people that can come in and nearly pick up the right alan key okay here we go we're sliding a piece of metal

onto the desk in front of you i'd say it's bigger than a ruler just so people at home can visualize a 30 centimeter ruler yeah it says 30 centimeter ruler get some big what we'd like you to do in boardroom style is to write down your answer on a piece of paper and slide it back in mill.

Now you can pick it up, examine it, feel around it, get a feel for it.

Gee, he looks good, doesn't he?

And this is probably his preferred piece of paper.

I do feel like I'm watching a master in his tool shop.

Oh, he's moving his hands in and out to indicate different lengths.

I think I have my guess.

Okay,

he's writing down his offer, of which he'll slide to us.

Can I, before we have a look at the offer, yeah, please slide it across.

What type of metal is this?

Aluminium.

Yep.

Great.

Hold on.

Does that count as a coin?

No, it doesn't.

No, it doesn't.

And what shape is it in?

Hexagon?

No, that's a square.

That's a square.

That's a square.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just double checked it.

Definitely just a square bit of metal.

Okay.

Okay.

You have slid across your guess.

500 mil, you said, and you're allowed five millimetres of error.

We cannot accept this offer.

and that square piece of aluminium is in fact 454

mil

by 46 mil,

which is quite a bit.

That's a whopping.

That is,

I thought it was 50 mil each side, no.

No,

because that's that's quite a generous game.

Five centimeters,

do you work in tools?

Be honest.

Did you just want to come in?

Did you just want to see what a podcasting boardroom looks like?

Yeah.

Do you work easily?

Are you familiar with measurements and numbers?

Have you ever used them before?

Yes.

Contour twice.

And shapes.

That I'm not so sure.

He's got one.

He could be the Simpsons guy.

No.

Good day, God.

Absolutely awry.

You will need to do something phenomenal with the bit of wood behind us to save any honour here.

blessing in a piece of wood that is bigger than the 454.

Just try and zone back in on what you, your actual skill, what it's like

on the floor at the shop.

When you're impressing your other work colleagues, I would say, Ham,

if he's

another 50 mil off, it's Simpson Sky territory, isn't it?

5mm off.

I don't think even getting it exact now could get you a coin.

And I'm usually pretty late.

Surely bang on gets a coin.

Yeah, that's what I would do.

After you've called a square eggs and goes,

okay.

Talk us through your process.

Describe the piece of wood in front of you for

listening at home.

It'd be a mess at the moment, up there, wouldn't it?

Like your tool shed properly.

Just like not knowing where to put what at the moment.

Is that true, Kirk?

Yeah, the feeling it'd be like that.

Talk us through it.

It's a rectangle.

Yeah.

Good.

It's bigger than the last one, that's for sure.

Here we go.

Here we go.

I'll write it down.

Yes, please.

Yes, this is the exciting part.

Kirk is now bang on for a coin.

Another offer.

Yeah, sure.

Sure.

Sure.

I'm very cold.

Sure.

You have Andy's car if you get it back off.

Okay.

Please get it back on.

He is sliding it across.

Hamish and I are looking at the offer.

You know what?

It's a decent offer.

You've said 769 mils.

That piece of wood in front of you

is 790 mils.

Oh, close enough.

Well, no.

We weren't looking for bang on.

You've landed within an honorable gap.

Yeah, an honorable gap.

Absolutely.

I mean, that's, you know, two points.

Yeah, you're not the toolbase Simpsons guy.

You are not walking out of here with a coin or a car.

What I'm going to give you an opportunity to do, though, is you can either choose to plug your business knowing that people may be wary of when they send you dimensions, or you can choose to not plug your business knowing that people may be wary of sending dimensions to you and you following them.

No, I won't plug it.

This hasn't been a good representation of our skills.

Thank you.

According to some data, we are Australia's most listened to podcasts, and I love to see somebody go, No, we will keep that quiet.

You're a London Kirk.

One of my favourites.

We'll give you a token.

I'd like to privately.

Taking it over, definitely for sure.

Privately, I'd like to get the name of your business because I will be using you for all my injection molding.

And

we'll show you that token.

It's a circle.

Yeah.

It's sort of a very smooth hexagon.

I could guess the diameter of it.

No, you can't.

No, you can't.

I know, I know we've put this to bed for six months and then we're coming back to it.

Oh, no, don't get out of bed.

It's asleep.

But there is an update.

The CEO of the Royal Australian Mint

in charge of all coins,

Lee Gordon was doing a presser, and he's been asked specifically a question about our show by the waiting press.

When I say waiting press, I think it was one person there and this person

didn't seem like

a huge presser.

So I've got the interview answer here from Lee.

I've broken it up into sections.

I feel like we can dissect how Lee and obviously he's the CEO, so how the whole Royal Australian Mint is feeling as a company about our quest.

This is the opening question from the interviewer.

And Shanny have been pushing really, really hard to get their podcast commemorated on a coin.

Is that something that we're going to support?

Look, we certainly have some guidelines that we go through to

make the decisions about what coins, what organisations, events and anniversaries we do reflect on our coins.

I mean, yeah.

Not Mice Movo ended up on one, so let's let's be serious about how serious those made.

Those guidelines seem pretty wide, to be honest.

He also sounded nervous.

Yeah, I don't love what I heard, to be honest.

I would have loved

dream scenario.

Oh, wait, dream scenario was him going, yeah, look, you know, no spoilers, but I think the boys will be pretty happy come November.

That would have been the dream scenario.

Yeah.

What I would have liked to hear more in the realms of possibility would have been him to have a chuckle at the start.

I would have liked to hear a, I would have liked to hear a, oh, yes, well, you know,

that's great fun and we're looking into that.

Like some level of enjoyment.

What it sounded like was a complete,

a complete straight bat.

Agreed.

And

his answer continued.

I've just broken it up so we can discuss it in between, but his answer continued.

It would be highly unlikely for us to have individuals like Hamish and Andy on a coin.

I guess we have suggested to them that perhaps if they were to die, they might have a better chance of getting on a coin.

That's not something I believe they're contemplating just at the moment.

Don't come up with them.

you know nothing's off the table

we have suggested to them maybe they die i mean

take in that's that's a death threat yeah

what is what is a death threat if not a suggestion that perhaps you might like to die

um i i i think that they gave us that outline where they said look this is the usual method is posthumously people appear but again we have to stress we're not i know it's the words hamish and andy but it's about the the show.

It just happens to have the same name as us.

We see that as a mere coincidence.

This is not about us as people being on there.

It's the people's show being commemorated.

And that's what I was offended by.

It's like when he's suggesting Hamish and Andy want to be on a coin.

No, no, no.

The show, the people's show wants to be on a coin.

And thank you to the interviewer who said the Hamish Nandy podcast online.

That's great journalism.

It continued.

We do certainly recognise that the items that go on Australian coins need to be of some significance.

And we actually have a team at the mint that are pouring over almanacs and looking for anniversaries and events and organisations that we can commemorate.

But we also do take suggestions from the Australian public.

And certainly if people out there have an idea for a particular coin, I'd encourage them to get in touch with the mint.

Oh boy.

Did I just see a Trojan horse-shaped door open

in the side of the mint?

You've gone to the bottom.

I've encouraged people to get in touch with the mint.

Do you?

I wonder what email address that would be at.

For general inquiries, which I assume this falls under.

Yes.

The address is hello at ramint.gov.au.

One more time.

Hello at ramint.gov.au.

That's what I thought you said.

And I

think a simple heading along the lines of the will of the people or this is what the people want or

hey, commemorative.

Hey, commemorative.

Do change it up because I think if they all and stagger it too.

Yeah, stagger it.

Why not send one now

and then encourage a friend to send one tomorrow?

So we get a kind of a nice bell curve.

Because

we've been on the receiving end of email floods and

you do kind of smell a rat.

Often in radio days, space it out.

Record labels.

Record labels would think.

Don't forget about it.

No, don't forget about it.

So do send one now, but then from a different address, send one tomorrow or in three days' time.

Because remember when record labels would get you with emailing going,

you know, like if there's a new like artist called whatever, like, you know,

Slash Jiggins or something, you'd be like, you'd be like, they'd be like, man, just love to request that Slash Jiggins song.

Like, we love it.

Me and all my friends love it.

And after receiving no emails about music something you'd have 15 in an up exactly and you've never heard of slash gibbons or giggins whatever his name was jiggins

uh and then to have be overwhelmed with them for just a 24-hour period

seems like a blip seems like a blip so let's not blip it at the mint let's get a nice steady stream of these going in and i think i think we're doing they said they've got a team pouring over almanacs that sounds like a pain in the ass that sounds like a massive pain in the ass if i was i i would like you know i'd be like hey team great news.

You don't, you're like, you've, we've done half your year's work.

This is what we want with love.

A Hamish Andy Podcast Coin, it commemorates the future because it's about podcasting.

It commemorates the fact that these people champion dollar coins, the very medium they're being honored on.

I mean, it's an absolute slam dunk.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at Hamishandandy.com.