Pretty Little Episode #63

Speaker 1 This is a Headgun podcast.

Speaker 1 You know what's smart? Checking All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds on your car insurance. You know what's not smart?

Speaker 1 Not checking that you've got your sunglasses before going on a drive at sunset. You're driving west and the evening sky is beautiful, but you're trying to focus on the road.

Speaker 1 Yeah, checking first is smart, so check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.

Speaker 1 Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All-State North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Speaker 2 Pretty little episode.

Speaker 2 Hello, it is your dear friend, Tignotaro, coming straight at you from The Handsome Pod. Pretty little episode.
I'm sitting here with my co-host.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 This is perfect. Yeah, Mae Martin.

Speaker 2 Mae, are you okay?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know what it was?

Speaker 1 I was going to go into an Ira Glass impersonation, and then I realized that that was a reference to a previous episode and

Speaker 2 it wouldn't work.

Speaker 2 Nothing on the show makes sense. So

Speaker 1 why start now trying to make sense?

Speaker 1 I'm Mae Martin, though, and I'm happy to be here. Happy to see you, Tig.

Speaker 2 Happy to see you. I have to say,

Speaker 2 I was on a flight coming back to Los Angeles. And when I walked on to the plane,

Speaker 2 I was greeted. You know how you're kind of like,

Speaker 2 I don't know if you're like this. I'm in my own world.
I'm in my head. I'm boarding the plane.
The flight attendant, he said,

Speaker 2 welcome, handsome.

Speaker 2 No way, I'm looking.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I was like, huh, what? And

Speaker 2 for a split second, I thought, oh, does he think I'm

Speaker 2 a man? Or does he think I'm so handsome he had to tell me?

Speaker 2 And then I realized by the little twinkle in his eye what was going on.

Speaker 1 I always have that split second in the wild when someone says, hey, handsome.

Speaker 2 I'm like, oh, okay. And then I think, oh, right, right, right, right, right.
I know.

Speaker 2 He came up to me also after, and he was like, I have to say, I told my wife you're on this flight and she loves you.

Speaker 2 And so whoever you were, I feel like this is going to get back to you because if your wife is so into this show that you know and you're saying that to me, then hello to you both again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 That moment when you get on the plane and you're putting your thing away, and then if there's, I always get stressed, if there's someone you know, and you're starting like a seven-hour flight, and you're like, every time I get up to P, am I going to have to be like, how's your flight going?

Speaker 2 Okay, like, you know, you're trapped.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think I told you there was a while there where every time I was on a plane, I was on a plane with Tegan and Sarah.

Speaker 1 No, that's so funny.

Speaker 2 I was just like, guys, come on. We need to get a question from them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right, actually.

Speaker 1 What else is going on?

Speaker 2 I'm still really enjoying wandering around my house singing, I'm a normal person having a normal life, doing normal things, because I'm normal.

Speaker 1 Sorry, when did that happen? Did I miss that?

Speaker 2 Maybe I only told Fortune that.

Speaker 2 Maybe I didn't tell either of you that, but I'm just really enjoying. Oh, it is such a hit.
I can't stop singing it.

Speaker 2 But I'm just really happy with the changes I've made in my life to allow me more time at home and with my family. And

Speaker 2 so, yeah, I wrote that hit song. I'm a normal person doing normal things in my normal life because I'm normal.

Speaker 1 God, that slaps. So I'm going to start singing that.

Speaker 2 I love loading the dishwasher. I love doing laundry.
I love folding the cubs' little clothing.

Speaker 2 I love taking them to school. I just, I, I just, I love it.
Yeah. I love it.

Speaker 1 That's really satisfying. And in a way, it's like you're casting a spell too.
Like you're, you're going, I am normal and I'm doing normal things. And then it becomes

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm going to start singing that.

Speaker 2 It's the finding balance in life and like really,

Speaker 2 really

Speaker 2 trying to make changes to make it happen rather than, because I think I've talked about this, but like for years I would tell people, oh, yeah, I'm finding that work-life balance.

Speaker 2 And, and then I realized one day, no, I'm not. Yeah.
I'm still just taking any job. I'm just like

Speaker 2 flying off and doing this and that. And, and then I realized, oh, I have control and I can,

Speaker 2 I can decide what I'm going to do for work, how much I'm going to work, and how much I'm going to be home. And it just, it feels really good.
And I hope I can maintain this.

Speaker 1 I really need to do that as well. And also, with like having wayward just come out, then the immediate next question from all your agents and everything is like, what's next?

Speaker 1 And, and, and, and you start,

Speaker 1 you know, but you kind of take a minute sometimes.

Speaker 2 Yes. And what, uh, what are you going to do to take a minute?

Speaker 1 That's the thing. I'm not.
Like, I, I do, I'm, my year is filling up so fast, and I'm feeling a little panicked about it. So

Speaker 1 I have to carve out that time for sure because I want to be a normal person doing normal things, being normal.

Speaker 2 Having a normal life because you're normal, you know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Going up to Lake Arrowhead in an Uber with my synth.

Speaker 2 That's normal, right?

Speaker 2 Oh, it's normal for you, May. Yeah, you're right.
It's normal for you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what about you? You're just, um, you're doing well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, I'm doing well. My heart is.

Speaker 2 Being a big TV star.

Speaker 1 Well, if I put my phone away, nothing

Speaker 1 is happening, you know? It's all lives on your phone.

Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I do want to just live in a cottage by a river. I've never done it.

Speaker 1 So is this a thing in Mississippi, river floating, like tubing down a river, where you drag your six-pack in the water behind you in the icy river?

Speaker 2 I mean, that's happened in Colorado. That's happened.
I mean, I don't, unless I'm missing something, I don't remember terribly icy rivers in Mississippi.

Speaker 1 I've just never floated down a river on a tube with my six-pack dragging behind me.

Speaker 2 And I really,

Speaker 2 you take your six-pack everywhere you go, don't you?

Speaker 2 What's bringing up Mississippi and rafting and six-packs and stuff? Did I say something about that? I couldn't tell you why that came up, or

Speaker 2 I'm kind of

Speaker 2 just letting things roll off you just woke up I just woke up let's be honest I woke up two and a half minutes ago yes you did share that right before we got on here you just woke up it's 1045 in the morning well

Speaker 2 the mornings are tough for me I because I stay awake but pretty soon we're recording in the evening and I'm excited about that and also pretty soon we're going to be recording very early in the morning so I'm hoping to see you there yeah we have an 8 or 8 30 in the morning recording in person.

Speaker 1 Oh, fine. I don't have to worry about that for now.
And I'll tuck myself in so early the night before.

Speaker 2 Maybe Fortune and I could come over with Thomas and tuck you in.

Speaker 1 Stop.

Speaker 2 That's all I've ever wanted

Speaker 1 to be tucked in by you, too.

Speaker 2 I want to wake up, May.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. If I wake up in the morning, all three of you are in my room yelling, Martin and fruit.

Speaker 2 I've wanted to offer a service at a hotel

Speaker 2 where you go in and you quietly wake somebody up and you're like, Hey, good morning. You have a Zoom at 10.
Do you want breakfast?

Speaker 1 When you're a kid and your parent, and your parents wake you up, it's I would see red because there was no way they could do it that wouldn't annoy me.

Speaker 1 Even if they're just like, Morning, you're like,

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then there's the reverse. I was scared one night, and I went and woke up my stepfather in the middle of the night, scared.
Yeah, and he he popped up and punched me in the stomach.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Yes. Take.

Speaker 2 He didn't mean to. He was like totally asleep.
Oh, punched me.

Speaker 2 God.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 trauma. Trauma.
Oh, my God. Your little body and your.

Speaker 2 Hey, hey.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's like Rick.
Rick.

Speaker 2 I was like,

Speaker 2 probably eight or nine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is traumatic. How long did it take him to figure out what was going on? And were you both just panicked?

Speaker 2 I was too young to really understand that he was asleep and startled. You know, you thought he was just wailing.
I just, I didn't know what. I was just confused.

Speaker 2 I was so confused because I was so scared. I had gone in for some help

Speaker 2 and then I got punched by him.

Speaker 2 To be, you know, the good news is he wasn't like the most aggressive person, so his punch was not impressive.

Speaker 1 Right, right. Were you having a nightmare or something? What do you think scared you?

Speaker 2 I don't know if it was a nightmare. I was very scared as a kid.
I was always having nightmares. I thought something was under my bed.
Somebody's looking in the window. I just,

Speaker 2 and who knows, maybe there were people under my bed and looking in the window, but

Speaker 2 I was very, very surprised. So was he.
He was mortified and very apologetic.

Speaker 2 But I was crying. Oh my god, holding my stomach.

Speaker 1 I was always, um, I didn't want to get in trouble for waking. I thought my mom would be angry if I woke her up, and she might have been.

Speaker 1 But so I would go into their room and just stand and stare at them and hope that they would wake up naturally because I didn't want to wake them up and say, I'm scared.

Speaker 1 But it's way scarier to wake up and there's just someone standing staring.

Speaker 2 Oh, for sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would like burn a hole in their faces with my eyeballs.

Speaker 2 And would it wake them up?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then my dad would wake up and go over and punch you.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what's smart? Checking All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking that you got candy for trick-or-treaters.

Speaker 1 I really don't want to spend another Halloween with all of the lights off in my house to avoid disappointing kids hoping for a sweet treat. Yeah, checking first is smart.

Speaker 1 So check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.
Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

Speaker 1 Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Speaker 1 Well, should we listen? Should we get some questions from?

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's do it. That's why we're here.
Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 3 Hi, this is Noah. I'm a middle schooler from Charlottesville, Virginia.

Speaker 3 And I was wondering if there was anything that you would tell your younger self about being queer in middle school or any advice you could give to me and my friends who are queer and are trying to navigate middle school.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Noah.

Speaker 2 I feel like this is right up your alley, May. Really? Why? Because I

Speaker 2 didn't realize that I was gay until,

Speaker 2 you know, I was probably 20 or something.

Speaker 1 I was a little older, too. I think

Speaker 1 my main advice to young people or something that comes up for me a lot is to remind young people because there's so much online out there and there's so much

Speaker 1 like worrying stuff in the news. And then there's also a lot of community online.
And I would just say, just remember that your sexuality is just one small fraction of who you are.

Speaker 1 And even though it's totally empowering to like step into it and know yourself in that way,

Speaker 1 you got so much other stuff going on as well. And it can sometimes, especially if you're having to defend your

Speaker 1 identity, it can become like an inflated part of who you are. And And

Speaker 1 it's no bigger than any straight person's, you know what I mean? So don't let it stress you out and just know that it can be dynamic and change and be fluid and life is long and

Speaker 1 nurture all the other parts of you too, all your interests, all your friendships, all your,

Speaker 2 yeah,

Speaker 1 your school and all kinds of things. But it's just hard if you're constantly having to defend it or you feel under attack, but just

Speaker 1 it's always dangerous to enshrine the self. Like it becomes a little shell or armor.
So just stay, stay loose, stay fluid.

Speaker 2 I'm going to have to agree with May. And I also, yeah, and I also hate to sound like a really boring parent, but I just feel like it's so true.
And it's that

Speaker 2 who you are is really a superpower. Exactly who you are.
And I don't care gender, sexuality, anything.

Speaker 2 I really, really am so thankful that I followed my own path

Speaker 2 and that

Speaker 2 I really tried to live as authentic of a life as possible because I really like who I am. And

Speaker 2 I didn't always,

Speaker 2 but I did follow

Speaker 2 my gut

Speaker 2 in life.

Speaker 2 And uh i think it's it's really important and if people tell you that just being yourself is enough and is very special i am here to um put some power behind that statement as well because i really believe it yeah and i mean we i feel like in comedy we get that reinforced all the time like we learn that yeah the most specific things about yourself are the things that are gonna

Speaker 1 yeah connect you with other people and are gonna be applauded. And so, yeah, if you can tap into like the most specific things, what are you, what music are you into?

Speaker 2 What's your, you know, how you dress, yeah, you're the way you dance, the way you talk, the all, all of those things that, um,

Speaker 2 that uh, I mean, I remember coming from Mississippi and Texas and moving to New Jersey for a little while. Um, and I didn't know I had an accent.

Speaker 2 I shook it off, I think, over the years, but

Speaker 2 they laughed so hard when I opened my mouth. But it's also, it's that endearing part of you.
Like, even after everybody's laughing, that's you want little characters in your life.

Speaker 2 You want interesting people. And I want that for my kids.
I want them to be around every type of person. I want them to have a crew of characters around them.

Speaker 2 Yes. You don't don't want everyone the same.
It's so boring. It's so boring.

Speaker 1 Yeah. This, there's this bulldozing over all the nuances of people.
And yeah, but that's all the, all the magic is in the weirdness. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I grew up around a bunch of characters and

Speaker 2 I'm so thankful to know all of those weirdos.

Speaker 1 Oh, totally. Yeah.
And also just remember middle school is notoriously so intense and it won't always be this intense.

Speaker 1 So see if you can enjoy the intensity because there'll be a moment later in life where you miss how intense those feelings are.

Speaker 2 And yeah. Yeah, go for it.
Be authentic. Don't push too hard in any way.
Just be you and have a blast. Be safe and enjoy it.
And let's get to the next question.

Speaker 4 Hi, May, Tig, and Fortune. This is Casey calling from Salem, Mass, Home of the Witches.
I'm so excited.

Speaker 4 I finally thought of a question to ask, and it was inspired because I got tickets to Fortune's show coming up in Boston.

Speaker 4 It made me wonder: who is your favorite person or people to laugh with, and why?

Speaker 1 I feel like I know your answer.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, who?

Speaker 1 Is it Stephanie?

Speaker 2 It is. Yeah, I thought so.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 but also, I have, you know, a crew of friends. from my childhood, and it's that deep, deep level of laughter that you can have.

Speaker 2 I mean, yes, Stephanie and I have it to a painful degree of crying, laughing, and I'm so thankful.

Speaker 2 But I'm equally as thankful for my old friends of decades that they know all the good, the bad, the dirty, the messy,

Speaker 2 the beauty, all of it. And so, those laughs together are so deep

Speaker 2 and knowing. And that feels incredible.
Incredible.

Speaker 1 You build this rich lore as well.

Speaker 2 Like there's, yeah, every,

Speaker 1 yeah, I feel the same way. I have my two best friends from when I was 13, and I just saw them in Toronto.

Speaker 2 And it's like, nice.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter. Like, like my one friend, Gabby, her mom's very sick.
My other friend, Nicole, going through a divorce. I, you know, I'm always in some romantic drama or whatever.

Speaker 1 And we get together. And even the fact that we all are a mess makes makes us laugh so hard.

Speaker 1 And then, and then it, I mean, we really laugh like that teen hysteria laugh and, and make fun of each other. And it's so, yeah, old friends, man.

Speaker 2 There's nothing better. I mean, there's certainly people over the years and comedians that tickle me and I enjoy, but

Speaker 1 I think just Lisa Gilroy makes me laugh hard. I mean, she really makes me laugh hard because we do like improv scenes

Speaker 2 of

Speaker 1 from like movie tropes. Like we did one where because we were sitting by a fire and then we were like, imagine this is the romantic scene in the rom-com.

Speaker 1 And then she goes, you're different. And I go, in a good way.

Speaker 2 And she goes, I'm not sure yet.

Speaker 2 And I laughed for like 20 minutes. Yeah, she is very, very funny.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I had a friend.

Speaker 2 Well, I know I've talked about him a million times. My old roommate, Chris Fairbanks, man,

Speaker 2 he really tickles me.

Speaker 2 And then I had a very close friend, this guy that

Speaker 2 we really went in different directions. And so it's compartmentalized in my mind where when I think back on funny things we did, I can laugh so hard and I'll be like, man,

Speaker 2 can't believe how things changed, you know?

Speaker 2 But yeah,

Speaker 2 we just aren't in each other's lives anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that happens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it makes you grateful for the people that are.

Speaker 1 And yeah, that's major relationship goals and should be a sort of a non-negotiable, I think, is the person you're dating has got to make you laugh.

Speaker 2 Or even if they don't make you laugh, if they find, if they are connecting, yeah.

Speaker 2 But I mean, truly, I think there is nothing, if somebody's not a funny person, I've dated plenty of people that would not be considered funny, but that they have a great sense of humor.

Speaker 2 And as long as you're laughing and connecting together, who cares who made the joke?

Speaker 2 But I, yeah, I need that in a relationship. I need a deep, deep laugh with somebody.

Speaker 1 Should we hear Casey's answer?

Speaker 2 I think we should, May.

Speaker 4 I'm going to see Fortune with my brother and sister and each of their fiancés. And I love laughing with them because we can be really relaxed with each other.

Speaker 4 Thanks for bringing a smile to my face every week. Keep it handsome.

Speaker 2 Casey, thank you. You keep it handsome.
And enjoy Fortune Feemster.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I feel like we're wrapping up this episode here and people need to know.

Speaker 2 You got to subscribe. You got to share episodes with friends.
You got to help us build this community. You got to go to

Speaker 2 speakpipe.com/slash handsome pod and submit your questions. Yeah.
You got to.

Speaker 1 You got to. You simply got to.

Speaker 2 Or you're going to lose us. You don't want to lose us.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And maybe ask the funniest person in your life, like the person who makes you laugh the most. Ask them to send us a question.

Speaker 2 I think that's a great idea, May.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or send one together with like an old friend from high school.

Speaker 2 Yeah, May, I'm on your side about this. Thanks.
Yeah, my God, May, of course. Thanks for sending me.

Speaker 2 Thanks for sending in your questions. And

Speaker 2 I don't know. I would say until next time,

Speaker 2 keep it pretty

Speaker 2 handsome. What a podcast.

Speaker 2 What a podcast.

Speaker 1 That was a hit gun podcast.

Speaker 1 You know what's smart? Check in All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking the bathwater before you get in the tub.

Speaker 1 I love a nice hot bath, but I don't need to get scalded, so I let it cool for a couple minutes before jumping in. Yeah, checking first is smart.

Speaker 1 So check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with All State.
Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

Speaker 1 All State North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.