Patreon Unlock: Talkin' Tabs

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Speaker 1 Oh, the car from Carvana's here.

Speaker 2 Well, will you look at that? It's exactly what I ordered.

Speaker 3 Like, precisely.

Speaker 1 It would be crazy if there were any catches, but there aren't, right? Right.

Speaker 4 Because that's how car buying should be. With Carvana, you get the car you want.

Speaker 5 Choose delivery or pickup and a week to love it or return it.

Speaker 2 Buy your car today with Carvana.

Speaker 5 Delivery or pickup fees may apply. Limitations and exclusions exclusions may apply.
See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com.

Speaker 6 Whenever a holiday rolls around, it's time for yours truly to roll out the Patreon bonus content for Hello from the Magic Tavern on the main feed.

Speaker 7 That's right. Sit back and get ready for tantalizing transmissions of Bootleg Craig's Pirate Patreon Radio from me, Bootleg Craig.

Speaker 7 If this amuse boosh isn't enough for you, you can hop on over to patreon.com slash magic tavern right now.

Speaker 7 You'll get this and tons more more bonus podcasts a lot sooner and also help out independent creators.

Speaker 2 Sweet!

Speaker 7 But now, whether you're on your way to a Thanksgiving feast or just finished one, it's time to get things in order, like your holiday shopping or closing all your browser tabs.

Speaker 7 Sit back and enjoy the glory that is talking tabs.

Speaker 2 Placeholder theme song, placeholder theme song. We don't have a song because we didn't think ahead.
I'm Matt Young and I'm singing this instead. Placeholder theme song.

Speaker 2 Not the tavern, not, not the tavern, not the tavern, not, not the tavern, not the tavern, not, not the tavern, not the tavern, not, not the tavern.

Speaker 1 All right, ladies and gentlemen, I am so excited. We, uh, this is Ariana Nikamp as myself on Earth, and I'm joined by Matt Young and Adela Fi.
Hello. Hello.

Speaker 1 We gathered, so we've changed what we were going to record a couple times.

Speaker 1 Originally, we were actually going to record a main feed episode with a beloved returning guest who got busy and booked a commercial and had to reschedule. Totally fine.

Speaker 1 We're like, great, let's do a Patreon episode. We were going to do a conversational improv, another one of those, which we love doing and it's easy for us to do on short notice.

Speaker 1 But as we were chatting on the Zoom, getting ready to start, Matt Young said something

Speaker 1 so, I don't know what, so Matt Young-y,

Speaker 1 so charming and funny, but also angry

Speaker 1 that it sort of stopped Adel and I in our tracks. And both of us at the same time were like, maybe that's an episode.
Matt,

Speaker 1 do you remember what you said?

Speaker 2 I think what I said was, I have so many tabs open. It's making me really angry.

Speaker 1 Yes. Out of nowhere.
Like,

Speaker 2 yeah, this was not prompted by anything.

Speaker 1 Matt, I think you absolutely said.

Speaker 1 Pretty much what you just said, or exactly what you just said, but the cadence was that of Samuel L. Jackson saying, get these motherfucking snakes off my motherfucking plane?

Speaker 1 That's how you said what you said.

Speaker 2 Well, here is what prompted it, actually, is I was talking to you guys, and we were talking about what we're going to do, we're not going to do. And then there's like, I've sized my Zoom window

Speaker 2 so that right above it is my browser window behind it. And I could see just above it peeking out behind the Zoom window, all the fucking tabs.

Speaker 1 Oh, sort of like Kilroy, like the.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly like Kilroy.

Speaker 1 I think actually it's possible, Matt, that what you said was, I am so angry about how many tabs I have open. That sounds right.

Speaker 1 The windup of sincere frustration where I'm like, oh no, what is Matt upset about? And it's all these tabs. Addle and I both lit up at the same moment, right? Is that fair to say? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think we had a shared moment of, it was almost like you got your chocolate and my peanut butter. I got my peanut butter and your chocolate.
And we both said Arnie and you said Adle.

Speaker 1 And we said talking tabs.

Speaker 1 Yeah. This is Adel.
This is Arnie. And we're talking tabs.

Speaker 1 Matt, you counted in the time between us saying this and deciding to end rolling.

Speaker 2 Well, first I guessed about 30.

Speaker 1 You guessed about 30 tabs. Audience, listener, take a moment, get out a piece of paper, write down how many tabs.

Speaker 2 You don't have to get a piece of paper.

Speaker 1 You can just think about it. Take a picture.
Take a picture of that. Wait, you're taking a picture of the piece of paper? Oh, it'll last longer.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can you post pictures on our Patreon? Like, can you post pictures in the comments? Probably there's wise reasons why you can't. No, otherwise we'd have so many animal buttholes.
That is very lucky.

Speaker 1 They go straight to our emails.

Speaker 2 That's what social media is for.

Speaker 1 But if there, if you can, or I guess maybe in our Discord, like recent Patreon episodes channel, take a picture of how many tabs you think Matt Young has. Write it down.
Take a picture.

Speaker 1 We'll pause here and let you do it. We'll pause.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 While they're doing that, how are you guys doing? I'm doing pretty good. How are you doing, Ernie? I'm doing all right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good to see you both. Good to see you.

Speaker 2 Since we're doing a lot of admin in this episode, can I also apologize for not writing a Patreon newsletter entry this month? I just totally slipped my mind.

Speaker 1 Wait, Admin? Is that why it's called Madmen? That's right.

Speaker 2 And it's on Madison Avenue.

Speaker 1 Yes, originally it was called Madmen. And it was about

Speaker 1 administration people

Speaker 1 in the

Speaker 1 60s. Not as fun, not as fun.
So this probably won't come out for a month or so at least, but you did not get your March info in. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what did you do in March? Anything like you high points, anything.

Speaker 2 Gosh, see, this is why I didn't do it. I've been working at my job on a project where I had to work with a team in India.

Speaker 2 So I had, you know, I don't get into details about projects, but it meant some very late nights and some very early mornings to have meetings.

Speaker 1 and i felt a little crazy uh trying to kind of keep up with it and that's probably why i forgot to write it is that project um finished up now it is the the bulk of it is finished now and there's like two weeks where it's kind of winding down now so i'm kind of getting back to a normal schedule nice That reminds me, this is a weird story, and I don't, I, you know, I feel like there's a non-zero chance that there's an aspect of it that is, I hope it's not xenophobic in any way.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 1 isn't always a great preface for a story.

Speaker 1 It might be xenomorphic, but not xenophobic.

Speaker 1 This is from beginning to end, a delightful and charming exchange. Surprisingly, because it was me calling customer support

Speaker 1 years ago, I had like a modem or a router that wasn't working.

Speaker 1 It was the most frustrating thing in the world to get figured out where I was constantly like calling the modem company and then calling the cable company.

Speaker 1 They both kept saying the other person was to blame. Nightmare, nightmare customer service situations.

Speaker 1 And then I ended up talking to a gentleman whose name I do not remember, but he was, he, he, he somehow came out in the conversation. He was in India on a phone bank there.

Speaker 1 He was very helpful. I don't remember if he ultimately helped me like resolve the situation, but he was pretty great.

Speaker 1 And somehow chatting with him while he was like looking things up, somehow the weather came up or something.

Speaker 1 And I'm, I'm, you know, I'm a pretty, I can be, I can be a very fun chatty guy, but I can also not.

Speaker 1 Like usually in those things, I don't really like try to engage with conversation but somehow it turned into talking about the weather and i ended up saying that it was snowing and it led to a genuine conversation where he was like very sincerely like

Speaker 1 i'll say it as if i'm me basically he was like

Speaker 1 you know i don't really understand snow i don't like i know what it is but what is and it just led to me being like well what do you if you had to guess what is snow like and he didn't really understand that that it was cold.

Speaker 1 He sort of thought it was sort of fluffy. Maybe it was mostly from like cartoons and things.

Speaker 1 And again, as I'm telling the story, I'm worried that either I was just completely lied to, or this just sounds like a ridiculous thing. But it was so charming.
It was.

Speaker 2 You've never experienced snow. You just don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's what all the t-shirts say.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is. I never thought about it, but it is like describing like yellow or something where you're like, oh, unless you've experienced it, it's hard to kind of quantify it.

Speaker 1 Like if you don't even have cold weather, like how do you get there? Cold white sky dirt?

Speaker 1 Dirt? I got it. Got it in one.
Well, hold on. Matt seems to have some sort of

Speaker 2 I think you had it right till the very end and then you lost me on dirt.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Cold white

Speaker 2 sky.

Speaker 1 Sky ice?

Speaker 1 Well, now you're just

Speaker 1 snow.

Speaker 2 That's what we're talking about, right?

Speaker 1 I guess, yes. But ice, if I don't know what, if I'm struggling to sort of figure out what snow is and you say ice, I'm picturing like hail.
Yeah, you're right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like I'm like, ooh, I better get inside because I'm picturing the ice that goes in my fountain drink and that's going to hoit.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's fair.
Arnie, I used to work at Groupon on customer support.

Speaker 1 And most people are terrible to customer service. I know that comes as a shock to everyone.
But only once that I have a call where I go, hi, this is Groupon. My name is Adel.
How can I help you?

Speaker 1 And a woman on the other line gave a deep sigh and she went,

Speaker 1 no offense, your English is very good, but I would prefer to talk to someone in the States. And I go, ma'am, I'm in Chicago.

Speaker 1 But I think she heard my name and she's like,

Speaker 1 of course.

Speaker 2 Oh, boy. Yikes.
Let's get into these fucking tabs.

Speaker 1 Yes. So listener, if you have not yet gotten a piece of paper, written down your guest, taken a picture, I guess you can't post it yet.
Saved it somewhere where you'll remember to post it.

Speaker 1 I guess, no, you can't post it yet.

Speaker 1 I've already confused myself, basically.

Speaker 1 How many? Fuck, Matt, how many tabs?

Speaker 2 52 tabs. Woo!

Speaker 1 Wow. A Mickey.
Almost, is that a Mickey mantle of tabs? That's like a full poker deck of tabs.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 52 tab pickup?

Speaker 1 And just very quickly, Arnie and Matt, it's fine, but I was a little upset that you you didn't agree that my English is very good. Your English is great.
Okay, yeah. I mean, yeah, we can move on.

Speaker 1 We can cut this all out, but I was just a little. Would I want you for customer service? That's a bad thing.
No.

Speaker 1 Did you have techniques, strategies, jokes you would do or not real? Or were you just dead inside the whole time?

Speaker 1 I think when it first started, I was pretty jovial and tried to have some fun with it and stuff. A lot of times what I would do is just match the person's energy.
Sure.

Speaker 1 And that was both fun for me and also seemed to work pretty well.

Speaker 1 Because if someone's like, I just went to a smoothie shop and it was, buy one, get one. And they said it was buy one, get one, half off.
And I would go, unbelievable.

Speaker 1 Well, let me, I'm going to go into your account. I'm going to give you a full refund.
I am so sorry. Like I just try and really

Speaker 1 align with their energy and they appreciate that.

Speaker 2 It's a good, it's a good strategy.

Speaker 1 Did you consider when the woman sighed and said, look, you seem great, but I just want someone in

Speaker 1 the country. You should have been like, did you consider sighing and saying, man, ma'am, you seem great,

Speaker 1 but I want a customer in the country and see how long it could take before you both realize you're in the same country. Just both playing chicken.

Speaker 1 I feel like I did have a flash of like, should I be like,

Speaker 1 madame, you got me. I'm so sorry.
Let me go ahead and transfer you.

Speaker 1 I friendly present your dinner.

Speaker 2 I had a customer service job. I've had a couple of customer service jobs, but I had one where I worked for like a not-for-profit that sent out a journal.

Speaker 2 And then people would call in and be like, I haven't been getting my journal for three months or I haven't been getting my journal for a year. And I'm like, why did you wait so long?

Speaker 2 And they would invariably, I'd be like, okay, well, let's just look at your information. Like, we don't need to look at my information.
My information is fine.

Speaker 2 And I'd be like, let's just look at your information and see if we got the correct address for you. And invariably, we had the wrong address like 98% of the time.

Speaker 2 And they would like fight me almost every single time. They'd be be like, I don't need to look at my address.
My address is fine. And I'm like, I guarantee you, that's almost

Speaker 2 going to be the problem almost every single time.

Speaker 1 It was crazy. Brutal.
I love how Adel and I more or less had to talk Matt into doing talk and tabs.

Speaker 1 And he was like, it's not going to be interesting. And then we immediately start like avoiding talking about the tabs.

Speaker 2 Okay, look. Okay, fine.
Fine.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, here's 52 tabs. Here's my first question.
Before we get to the content of the tabs. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are all 52 of these tabs in the the same browser or do you have multiple browsers and we should say we should be judging men by the content of their tabs not the content of their heart yeah this is one window one browser 52 tabs whoa wow so you can't even see anything right i can kind of i can see little icons i kind of know what most of it is hmm

Speaker 1 well take a guess what is the first tab you figure you gotta you gotta you gotta just take a while it's gotta be gmail it's gmail yeah it's and And then there's probably like a Google Calendar is one of those.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Google Calendar.
If not more.

Speaker 1 I frequently have more than one Google Calendar open because every time I have to make an appointment for something, like during the day, I have to both look at my work calendar and my personal calendar to figure out

Speaker 1 if I can do things. And then do I put it on both calendars? It's really annoying.
Right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's the first two.

Speaker 2 Gmail

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 Google Calendar are the first two tabs. Not super exciting stuff.

Speaker 1 Well, not yet, but we two down 50 to go.

Speaker 2 Do you want me to search for anything in my Gmail?

Speaker 1 Search for anything in your Gmail? That's very good. Oh my gosh, this could be a fun game.

Speaker 1 I gotta be me, but I'm just, there's gotta be emails that say poop.

Speaker 2 I'm sure.

Speaker 2 Here's one from Crooked Media.

Speaker 1 Arnie, how much would it cost for us to get Magic Tavern at poopies?

Speaker 1 Poopies.supplies.net or whatever?

Speaker 2 Here's a voiceover audition from 2004, which obviously I didn't book for pull-ups like diapers.

Speaker 1 Wait, why is it obvious you didn't book it?

Speaker 2 Well, I guess it's not obvious, but I didn't.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, I didn't.

Speaker 2 Now I think about it, yeah, it's not obvious at all. Here's a LinkedIn one where the, here's the title of it.
Oh, it's from our friend Lisa Burton. And since instructional, ask me where poop happens.

Speaker 2 I'm going to click see more. Ask me where poop happens.

Speaker 2 When I worked at the Museum of Science and Industry, we wore pins that beg kids and usually dads to ask us where poop happens because they had an engaging stage show about digestion.

Speaker 2 Go to work, Lisa Burton.

Speaker 1 Matt, in that email about the audition, is there...

Speaker 1 Fingers crossed.

Speaker 1 I hope for this so bad. Are there sides for the audition in the email?

Speaker 2 Let me see.

Speaker 1 see script any signs

Speaker 2 yes oh fuck yes and i forgot about this this was long enough ago i think it's okay yes i mean it's over let me let me double check the date

Speaker 1 august of 2004 arnie this went from talking tabs to perusing poop to 2024 sorry august of 2024. oh so not 20 not 20 years ago okay

Speaker 2 this was a very weird one

Speaker 2 where I actually kind of thought I might get it. The brief is pretty wide.
Comedy Chops wanted. They kind of read like animated characters.

Speaker 2 I don't think they ever made this because it's such a weird idea and I never saw it. One of the characters is named Urene.
Y-U-R-E-E-N.

Speaker 1 Urine.

Speaker 2 And the other one is called Turd.

Speaker 1 T-E-R-D.

Speaker 1 A little less subtle.

Speaker 1 A little less subtle.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 it starts with Urene saying, Turd, isn't it this exciting? We're potty training. And then Turd says, I don't know, Urene.
I'm nervous. So much could go wrong.
But so much could go right.

Speaker 2 That's what pull-ups are for. They work like undies, so you can build up those skills.
But back him up if accidents happen.

Speaker 2 I wish I had his confidence. This is a journey, turd.
You need to loosen up. And then turd ends it with, I can be loose.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Here's why you didn't get cast. You kept saying, Urene.
It's urine.

Speaker 2 It's definitely urene.

Speaker 1 It's urine and Toid.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't, I imagine this never got made. And I think I did like kind of like, I think I did like a kind of a straight read and then I did like cartoony voice reads for it.

Speaker 2 I don't know, urene, that kind of, you know, goofy thing.

Speaker 1 I searched my Gmail for poop and one of the things that came up. also from 2024, it was just that, that was that, it was just a poopy year.
I got the subject line. hey Chicago, your poop is showing.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to go ahead and even just say, I'm just going to go ahead and say the email address of where it's from because it's a business. Chicago at poop911.com.

Speaker 1 Their slogan is, we scoop dog poop. Basically, it's a place that scoops up dog poop.

Speaker 1 Dear Arnie, we have reached that time of year when the winter snow has melted and revealed the dog poop in our backyards.

Speaker 1 At Poop911, we are starting our spring cleanups next week, and we want to offer our former customers the first chance to schedule their cleaning before our schedule fills up. Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 Arnie, we're only on tab two.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, that is fair. That is fair.

Speaker 1 I'll say, just very quickly, I searched my Gmail for poop.

Speaker 1 October 21st, 2024. Truly a year of poop.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Something going on that fall.

Speaker 1 So this was an email to the magic tavern at puppies.supplies.

Speaker 1 This is from CR, and CR says, they say a few things, but at some point in the email, they say, I'd also like to tell you about a burger that you really need to know about.

Speaker 1 Near Halloween, Burger King sells a Whopper with a black bun. The most interesting thing about it is that people buy this because it turns your poop black.
That's it. Nothing else.

Speaker 1 A burger bun that turns your poop black. There you go.
I was on a medication once that turned my urine like a neon

Speaker 1 yellow, and it was

Speaker 1 very shocking. And then I looked it up and it was fine.
It was normal inside of it.

Speaker 2 They didn't warn you?

Speaker 1 I don't remember being warned. Or maybe they did in like like writing, and I didn't read all the things.
Did it feel like you were peeing in the 80s? It did. It was radical.

Speaker 1 Honestly, it was the most radical

Speaker 1 urination I've ever had. That's something the turtle should yell.
Urination, tubular,

Speaker 1 radical urination.

Speaker 1 How about this? What if there was a new teenage meeting ninja turtle? Okay. That was

Speaker 1 annoyingly honest, and his catchphrase was radical candor.

Speaker 1 He's annoyingly honest, but only about like his medical issues.

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Speaker 1 Okay, I'm sorry. We've gone through two tabs.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're two tabs. You're never going to guess what this third one is in a billion years.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Give us a genre of thing. Like, is it work-related? Is it like interests?

Speaker 2 It's something incredibly nerdy I would be interested in.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's what that was honestly. I was going to say, my guess is the third tab is like a hobby thing, like it's a robot or something.
Closer than you'd think.

Speaker 1 Arnie, this is such a polite way to say porn. Yeah.
Is it interests?

Speaker 1 Is it outside work interests? Is it like eBay?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Like a news. So it's like a toy news site of some kind.

Speaker 2 Not exactly.

Speaker 2 I'm just going to tell you, because, like I said, you'll never guess it.

Speaker 1 It's Google search results for whatever happened at KB Toys.

Speaker 2 Where the fuck did it go?

Speaker 1 I have a coupon.

Speaker 2 No, this I just opened this morning because I got an email about it and it opened

Speaker 2 in one of the next tabs. There is a Kickstarter

Speaker 2 for a collection of Transformers comics. from the 80s that collects all of the Marvel comics and all of the Marvel UK comics, which had never been released together before.

Speaker 2 And I'm kind of curious to get it, but it's kind of expensive.

Speaker 1 How long do you have to decide?

Speaker 2 Oh, it just like started like a couple days ago. Like a whole month.
I have a month to decide.

Speaker 1 So what's the.

Speaker 2 It funded in two minutes.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 2 It's already raised a million and a half dollars.

Speaker 1 Transformers in the U.S. and Transformers in the UK, do they pepper in differences?

Speaker 2 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So does like Bumblebee say like Bruv or Trust or something instead of... Well, they drive on the other side of the street.

Speaker 1 That's the big problem. Walk, Barney, walk.
Yes, that's right. And Optimus Prime doesn't have a gun.

Speaker 1 He's got a gun.

Speaker 1 What's the fucking bad guy's name? Megatron? Megatron is just a transforming Billy Club, right? Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 That's right. The reason there are two runs, they're both from the 80s, is comics come out in the U.S., at least back then, monthly, and comics in the UK came out weekly.
So

Speaker 2 they would release our stuff, but they like got caught up and got ahead of us.

Speaker 2 And essentially, like another writer who became like this important writer for the Transformers lore started doing fill-in stories.

Speaker 2 And some of those fill-in stories are some of like the most lauded and beloved Transformers stories ever made.

Speaker 2 And so they're going to release this thing where you can buy the US and the UK versions, or you can buy a version where it's like, got it all in chronological order because like his stories literally fit in between the US issues.

Speaker 2 So I just thought it was kind of interesting.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, that's like a cool

Speaker 2 something. Wait, one, it's a dumb robot thing.
And two, it's like, oh, it's kind of cool to see like how a creator fits their work in between the works of another,

Speaker 2 you know, it's just like a weird kind of like

Speaker 2 thought experiment. Like, and I've never read those comics, the UK ones, so I don't.
And I read, I did collect the Transformers comic when I was a kid.

Speaker 2 It was like the only comic I collected when I was a kid. And I lost them all in a tornado.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Well, okay. There are like five things I want to say coming off this, which does not bode well for us finishing Talking Tabs anytime soon.
No.

Speaker 2 First.

Speaker 2 Well, new miniseries.

Speaker 1 First, I'm just going to put a pin in. Got to leave all these fucking tabs open.
And they make you so angry. Matt, that's how you said it the first time.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm going to just underline that at some point we need to talk about tornadoes. We don't necessarily need to do that right away.
Sure. Yeah, I haven't.
But the Matt Young tornado situation is

Speaker 1 vast and interesting.

Speaker 2 We've probably covered that. I'm sure we have.

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 What is your tab strategy? Do you, are you just like, I clicked on this thing. I'm interested.
Maybe I will come. So I'm going to leave it open because maybe I'm going to come back and order it.

Speaker 1 Or do you just not realize you can close tabs?

Speaker 2 That's the first thing.

Speaker 2 It's definitely more of like, oh, you know, I'm going to open this because if I bookmark it or save it, I won't ever reopen that bookmark again.

Speaker 2 But if I leave the tab open, I have to like deal with it at some point. And eventually, like in two weeks, I'll be like, you know what?

Speaker 2 I do want to order this thing and I'm going to spend a little bit of money on it. Or I'll be like, no, it's been like two weeks and I don't want it that bad.
So I'm not going to get it.

Speaker 1 My other question is, how this is sort of breaking talk and tabs etiquette, but how many tabs that you currently have open are Transformers related?

Speaker 1 A lot less than you would think.

Speaker 2 That literally might be the only one.

Speaker 1 Etiquette, etiquette, etiquette. I know.
Adela is really shocked.

Speaker 1 He's surrounded by the hoi polloy of talking tabs, and they're all really

Speaker 1 fan. You're all fanning yourselves? Hoi Polloy could be a British Transformer.
Oh, I would love. Oh, that'd be great.
His boot turns into his butt or whatever.

Speaker 1 Would we get in legal trouble if we, as a Patreon content, did a mini-series of British Transformers of what we think British Transformers is? No. I mean,

Speaker 1 wouldn't it...

Speaker 1 Is there any other British robot besides C-3PO?

Speaker 2 Oh, gosh, there must be, right?

Speaker 1 Is the phone box that Doctor Who drives,

Speaker 1 is that a British robot?

Speaker 2 It's more of like a sentient AI mission.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess technically the Daleks

Speaker 1 are, I mean, I know they're not even really robots, whatever they really are. But like, any robot on Doctor Who is a British robot.
Or anything that Daleks are a robot? Internet, do your thing.

Speaker 1 I've never seen Doctor Who.

Speaker 1 How many, are there any other Transformers?

Speaker 1 Let's knock out any other Transformers tabs. I know I'm asking you to scan through through 52 tabs.

Speaker 2 I actually don't think there's a single other one, but let me double check.

Speaker 1 Matt, do you have a tab open that's

Speaker 1 how to eat Funko Pops?

Speaker 1 How to cook Funko Pops.

Speaker 2 Okay. I actually don't think there's a single other toy or nerd thing in these tabs.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. And they're not all work-related?

Speaker 2 No, I have a totally separate work computer.

Speaker 2 I mean, there are magic tavern tabs that are open for sure. Do we want to knock those out real quick? Because they're kind of boring.

Speaker 1 Sure, but before we do the Magic Tavern ones, I do want to really quickly say, along the lines of the Transformers Kickstarter, it was probably a year ago or something, and it hasn't come yet, but I don't kickstart things that often, but I did kickstart a reprint of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles role-playing game manuals, which I had when I was a teenager.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I will be getting the reprint of that, including some of the

Speaker 1 side books and things. The bonus character that has ultimate candor or whatever you said earlier.
Yes, yes, yes. Radical candor.
Radical candor.

Speaker 1 But in this game, it's like you make your own mutant character, but it could be any animal. So you're making teenage mutant hippos or teenage mutant gerbils and things like that.

Speaker 1 And it'd probably be a lot of work to learn the system, but that's another thing that I was wondering if maybe we would want to do. We should do that in a series.
I have a question.

Speaker 2 You said you can be a teenage mutant ninja hippo yes do i i understand that i probably have to be a mutant right

Speaker 2 do i have to be teenage do i have to be a ninja could i be like a middle-aged mutant cowboy platypus

Speaker 1 if i'm being honest i it's weird that i'm about to say i use teenage mutant ninja as a shorthand

Speaker 1 But really, you could be. I think you can have, like, you don't have to be a teenager and you don't have to be a ninja.
There's different, like, classes or whatever the version of it is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do want to chime in. Just I don't want to be a stickler, but it does have to fit the scan of the song.
So, for example. So, for example,

Speaker 1 mid-age teenage cowboy plat puss. See, I had to drop the Y for Plat Puss.
I don't think it was work.

Speaker 1 But my British Transformer is named Plat Puss.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 I'd be a police card named Bobby.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 2 I think if we play that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle game, Arnie,

Speaker 2 I think we should be any age we want, but we all have to be ninjas. Because I think it's hilarious to live in a world overpopulated with the ninjas.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oops all ninjas.

Speaker 2 Oops all ninjas.

Speaker 1 Can I say we play this game, but we play as kind of a fun, horny version, which is 10-inch mutant ninja turtles. Oh.

Speaker 1 Wink, wink, wink.

Speaker 2 nudge nudge nudge

Speaker 2 oh i just accidentally closed a tab what oh no the lost tab we'll eventually have to do a spin-off it's okay i know what it was and it was a bummer so i'll probably skip over some news ones that aren't real fun is it like web md or something yeah it was web md i was trying to diagnose my childhood leukemia

Speaker 1 oh no

Speaker 1 Matt, quick, childhood, quick. Yeah, I know.
You're running out of time. I bet the two, You said there's two Magic Tavern ones.

Speaker 2 Oh, there's probably more than two. I mean, there's our Airtable where we do a lot of our project management.

Speaker 1 I'm going to guess at least one of them is you Googled either RNRI's net worth.

Speaker 2 AlmostcelebrityNetworth.com.

Speaker 1 Yes. That's also a pretty fun side project.

Speaker 1 You guys keep talking. I'm going to do some Googling.

Speaker 2 Yeah, get on it. Let's see.
I have a couple Patreon tabs open where I was like looking for answers to things for people and things about ACAST integration because that's changing soon.

Speaker 2 So that's kind of boring, work related.

Speaker 2 I have an episode of Masters of Mayhem open

Speaker 2 that I listened to because sometimes I go back and listen to episodes. And so I have our website open and listening to that on the Patreon website, I mean.

Speaker 1 I have...

Speaker 2 Oh, I have a link of us on the AV Club from a long time ago. It's me and you, Adel.

Speaker 1 Oh, we did like an interview at the PondFest. Yep.

Speaker 2 Yep. yep that i was looking at that for the documentary

Speaker 2 uh so that's one two three four five

Speaker 2 looking at that for the dot notes to my souls i have a documentary credits tab that i desperately need to actually uh read and help uh finish that uh because i've been putting that off for a while

Speaker 2 i have oh i have a tab full of the scripts that I sometimes write, but usually Ryan writes for the Craig intros intros and outros to the bonus episodes.

Speaker 1 Nice. Oh, man.
Maybe a little sneak preview of one of them.

Speaker 1 Just two words, maybe like two words.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Let's see if we've got one that I think we're all caught up, actually.

Speaker 1 For the next time you write one, do you mind naming one of the characters, either turd or urine?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 I'm going to make a quick note here. Add a turd or urene.

Speaker 1 So here's an update. I googled Arnie Kneecamp Network and I Googled Adle Refi Network.
Nothing came up for either, which seems accurate.

Speaker 2 Yeah, good luck finding me.

Speaker 1 I did look, but then,

Speaker 1 and I'm not sure why my mind next went to this.

Speaker 1 And maybe this is something we'll want to cut out.

Speaker 1 I googled Attle Rify WikiFeet.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 And there is an entry. Wait, Adelify Wicked Feet? It's me, shoeless, and Boston.

Speaker 1 Wicked Feet, yes. WikiFeet is just apparently some website where,

Speaker 1 look, I don't know anything about it.

Speaker 1 Like, I guess it's for foot fetishists, but I think also people just humorously put celebrities, pictures of celebrities' feet on there.

Speaker 1 Well, I think it's all, I think it's 100% for a fetish, but I think a large percentage likes to say, oh, this is just because it's funny. Sure, sure.
Wouldn't it be funny if I had a...

Speaker 1 As a smokescreen for their

Speaker 1 so there is a picture of you, I think,

Speaker 1 of you putting a happy birthday sunglasses on a cat.

Speaker 1 And you can kind of see one of your feet in that picture.

Speaker 1 What's happening?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 look,

Speaker 1 this is a bad news. Good news, bad news situation.
So that's a bad news. You're on WikiFeet.
The good news is. Oh, phew.
I thought you were going to say that. That's the good news.

Speaker 1 The bad news is you ranked 1.5 out of 10. No, the good news is you have five stars out of five.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 There's no more information.

Speaker 1 Total votes one. So probably the same person.

Speaker 1 How's total spelled? How's total spelled on WikiSheet?

Speaker 1 It is spelled correctly. This page is a mess.
I can feel myself getting like, ugh. It's like

Speaker 1 the ads on it are gross. But I am going to look myself up real quick.
Probably.

Speaker 1 Nope. Page not found.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I guess I feel... Good and bad about that at the same time.

Speaker 2 You should feel fine about it.

Speaker 1 You've been smart enough to not capture your reflection in your photos. That is true.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm sorry. I completely derailed things.
No, we were fine. We were doing the important tab work.

Speaker 2 I pulled out one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve tabs that I can all say are magic tavern related.

Speaker 2 Some of which, you know, are about like paying our guests, some of which are about like, like I said, doing credits for the documentary,

Speaker 2 some of which are about a project that

Speaker 2 we're teaming up with somebody to do that

Speaker 2 might be out by the time this episode comes out or very shortly after that I'm excited about, but can't say more about that right now. Magic Tavern.

Speaker 2 Like I said, some are like Patreon links and things. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm sorry, Adel, what were you revealing? What secret were you just revealing? I don't, you know, I didn't sign the contract, so I'm happy to say it's Magic Tavern Doritos.

Speaker 2 Oh, god damn it.

Speaker 1 Sorry, guys.

Speaker 1 They're food flavored. Oh, we should have funions.
I should have said funions.

Speaker 1 We were

Speaker 2 fucked up.

Speaker 1 Eric. Garrett fixed me saying Eric and then fixed me.

Speaker 1 First fixed me saying Eric.

Speaker 1 Then put in funions where I said Doritos. Yes.
Well, we were so excited when they came to us and they're like, think about it. Think about the flavors.
Chunt Ranch. That was the first one.

Speaker 1 Usa Doritos. Usadoritos.

Speaker 1 Arnie Niekamp's chips yeah arnie knee camps eat too many doritos this is a bag where it's not a flavor so much as that you have to eat too many of them it's the same doritos but they're in a tall bag

Speaker 1 oh actually

Speaker 1 a really tall bag of chips actually like not party sauce

Speaker 1 from now on and with your permission do you mind if from now on i refer to you as a tall bag of chips i would love it honestly

Speaker 1 i'm not even joking i mean so far talking tabs has been pretty great. Talking tabs, should we cancel everything else?

Speaker 1 Dorio should have done a thing with the Adventure Zone because they are your taco. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 Oh, well.

Speaker 2 Okay, so that takes care of 15 of the 52 tabs.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 The fourth tab in the regular order. So I pulled out the other tabs and put them in a new window for the Magic Tavern stuff.
Just got it out of here. Who the fuck needs it? How many tabs we got left?

Speaker 2 So 15 minus 52 would be 37. We're not getting it through them.

Speaker 1 Is that including the one you closed accidentally? Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I guess 36.

Speaker 1 36 tabs in about, what do we want to say, like six to 10 minutes? Yeah, we can. Okay, we'll try.
Yeah, we can do this.

Speaker 1 How many of them are many of them like wedding related? Oh,

Speaker 2 maybe a couple.

Speaker 1 Although...

Speaker 2 That stuff I think I've got saved in my Gmail mostly. I have a Milla Note, which is like a personal

Speaker 2 to-do list thing. And that's got a lot of, I haven't updated it in ages.

Speaker 2 I find like sometimes the

Speaker 2 software that's supposed to help you do tasks or organize tasks, I get really bogged down in the admin of keeping up with the software, and then I go, I'm wasting time doing this when I could just be doing the thing I'm supposed to be doing.

Speaker 2 So usually I just write a list out by hand ultimately. So the Millenote is there.
That's one of them.

Speaker 2 This one's kind of fun. 17 food items you should buy when they're on sale from New York Times

Speaker 2 food section. Because I love food.

Speaker 1 I love cooking. I'll show you.
17.

Speaker 2 Actually, I don't cook that much anymore. I've really kind of dropped off.

Speaker 1 I'm really bad about it.

Speaker 1 Can we get number one on the list?

Speaker 2 Cheese. You can freeze hard cheeses like mozzarella.
Oh, can you freeze hard cheeses like mozzarella and cheddar? The answer is yes, if you plan on melting it.

Speaker 1 Ha ha.

Speaker 2 Number two is butter.

Speaker 1 Cooking. So these are just.
I thought this is going to be like pepperage farm sausage. None.
When it goes on sale, but this is like meat produce.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. This is telling you how to shop better and like store things better.
So I, I, again, sort of like the Transforms thing. I open this.

Speaker 2 I have every intention of reading this in detail at some point because I want to like

Speaker 2 be more organized, but I've never done it. Oh, here's here's an interesting one.
Arnie, I kind of lied before.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. He does have porn open.

Speaker 2 I, um,

Speaker 2 gosh, I don't know

Speaker 1 how to say this.

Speaker 2 I might have looked at an open.

Speaker 1 My Wiki feed?

Speaker 2 Your Wiki feed.

Speaker 2 No, I looked for a job. I don't apply for other jobs very often, but I saw something open up at Hasbro.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 For a writer, like a senior

Speaker 2 UX writer role, and I applied for it a few weeks ago, and the tab is still open, and I definitely didn't get it. They emailed me and said I didn't get it.

Speaker 2 It's like one of those, like, that was a long shot anyway. I wasn't going to get it, probably.

Speaker 1 But so, what was it? It was to like write, like, description, like, is it ad writing essentially, or do is there anything you can share about it?

Speaker 2 Uh, the description, it was said, it was like for, I think it would have been for the website for like their like direct-to-consumer thing, and I think it was focused on Wizards of the Coast stuff.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's cool.

Speaker 2 So, like, DD Beyond and stuff like that. But, um, I didn't didn't get it.
You know, no big deal.

Speaker 1 Huzzah. Chris Must is almost here in Foon.
And this year, Chris Must not get anyone a boring gift.

Speaker 1 Uncommon Goods takes the stress out of gifting with thousands of unique, high-quality finds you won't see anywhere else. Uncommon Goods has something for everyone.

Speaker 1 When you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. And actually, I just ordered gifts for Isidore and Arnie from Uncommon Goods.

Speaker 1 For Arnie, I got a through-the-window puzzle advent calendar. Advent, I assume, being short for adventure.
And for Usidor, oh, I got a pinball machine DIY building kit.

Speaker 1 Basically, build your own pinball machine because Arnie said it would be super funny if he became a pinball wizard. I don't get it, but it seems very cool.

Speaker 1 Uncommon goods has something for everyone, so don't wait. Cross those names off your list before the rush to get 15% off your next gift.
Go to uncommon goods.com/slash magic tavern.

Speaker 1 That's uncommongoods.com slash magic tavern for 15% off uncommon goods. We're all out of the ordinary.

Speaker 8 You know that feeling when you come home late from work and those puppy dog eyes just pierce right through your soul? Or when you're packing for a trip and your cat refuses to leave your suitcase?

Speaker 8 Yeah, we've all been there. Pet parent guilt is real.
And you know what? It's completely normal. I feel it all the time.

Speaker 8 Like when I have to leave for work and my dog gives me that look, you know the one.

Speaker 8 Or that time I forgot my phone inside after already saying goodbye and had to do the whole emotional departure scene twice. These moments just come with being a pet parent.

Speaker 8 That's why I'm grateful for Hill's science-led nutrition, which helps you give more love than humanly possible.

Speaker 8 Whether it's those long work days or trying to balance attention between multiple pets, Hill's Pet Nutrition gets it.

Speaker 8 They've created science-based nutrition that supports your pet's lifelong health so you can feel confident even when life gets hectic. Because you're only human, there's Hill's.

Speaker 8 Science Science does more.

Speaker 5 Ready to let go of the guilt?

Speaker 8 Find the right food at hillspet.com/slash wondery. That's hillspet.com slash wondery.

Speaker 2 Oh, here we go.

Speaker 2 Next tab.

Speaker 1 Your contract with Hasbro. They just wanted to hire you.

Speaker 2 20 best Chicago wedding venues.

Speaker 1 Ooh. Number one, Wrigley Field.

Speaker 2 Number one, butter.

Speaker 1 Number two, cheeses.

Speaker 1 Number three, dress.

Speaker 2 yeah we've looked at a couple recently but we still haven't picked anything we gotta get in gear on that oh uh i've probably talked about this before i have a tab open for here hair market which i sent out a bunch of um holiday gifts to the magic tavern team

Speaker 2 uh from this place i really like it uh it's a locally chicago owned women owned business where they do like like fancy food things and there's like you can buy uh ingredients.

Speaker 2 Like the tab I actually have open is shiitake cremini sea salt. It's like a mushroom-flavored sea salt.

Speaker 1 Shiitake, what was it?

Speaker 2 Shiitake cremini sea salt.

Speaker 1 That kind of works. Kind of works.

Speaker 1 It's close. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But you can, I think, like two years ago, we sent out like a chocolate thing that everybody loved. And then last year we sent out like it was a snack thing.
It was a little different.

Speaker 1 It was like little cookies in there. Very good.
Yeah. Yes.
Very, very good.

Speaker 2 Then there's a Washington Post article that's open called How to Protect Your Gmail Outlook After FBI Warning on Medusa Ransomware. So I opened this, what, you know, over a month ago.

Speaker 2 Haven't done a thing about it. I'll never actually do it.
I probably should.

Speaker 1 Medusa's back? Guys, Medusa's back?

Speaker 2 Well, that's what it says. How to protect your Gmail is you have to get a mirror and look at your Gmail.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Don't look directly at it. Look at your Girl.

Speaker 1 But aren't your computer screens already a bit of a mirror? Wow. I think we're fine.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're fine.

Speaker 1 If it was like a Hydra ransomware, then we're, then we're in trouble.

Speaker 2 Oh, the next tab's a big bummer.

Speaker 1 Oh, before we get to the bummer tab,

Speaker 1 I've been thinking about phishing recently,

Speaker 1 P-H-I-S-H-N-G, like phishing scams.

Speaker 1 One is, why don't scammers?

Speaker 1 Oh, here comes Arnie's stand-up. You know, they're trying to get you to click on a link, right? Which you're never going to do.
But what if they have an unsubscribe and that's the link? Whoa.

Speaker 1 Like, you just keep sending out like something from like a fake retailer. And if you hit unsubscribe, because I'm trying to do that more because I just get so much junk mail.

Speaker 1 I'm like, instead of just deleting it all the time, I should unsubscribe.

Speaker 1 But then I'm like, I'm going and just indiscriminately clicking a bunch of stuff because of that. And that feels like I could fall into a trap that way.

Speaker 1 It could, I mean, that could be a hydro situation where it's like you hit unsubscribe and that signs you up.

Speaker 1 Because I'll get stuff where it's like suddenly twice a day, I get like emails from like fucking shoe carnival. And I'm like, I don't think I've ever been

Speaker 1 inside a shoe carnival. And so I'll hit unsubscribe and they're like, and it'll be like a 10-step process.

Speaker 1 And then the following week, I'll be getting three emails a day from shoe carnival plus like 10 emails from Oshgosh Bagosh. And I'm like, what is happening?

Speaker 1 I hate the ones that make you read them closely.

Speaker 1 Because it's like, wait, does this say I want to not unsubscribe? So if I click this, it resubscribes me. Double subscribe.

Speaker 2 You guys want to hear my shoe carnival story?

Speaker 1 Of course. Of course, you've got a shoe carnival story.
You hit the shoe carnival from a tornado? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, I won a Cheryl Crowe CD at a shoe carnival.

Speaker 1 Wait, is a shoe carnival like a regular carnival, but with shoes? You won something? Yeah. This wasn't in the store.
To be clear, this wasn't in the store, the shoe carnival.

Speaker 1 It was at a shoe carnival.

Speaker 2 No, at the store, the shoe carnival, I won a Cheryl Crowe CD. This is an absolutely true story.
I don't think it needs any context or explanation.

Speaker 1 But how did you win? Like, did you, did you, was it? Bernie, it was the 90s.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 1 You know, you're young and all you want to do is have some fun. Exactly.
Were you shopping for shoes and they're like, hey, by the way, there's a Sheryl Crowe CD hidden in one of these shoes.

Speaker 2 I was probably about to graduate or just graduated from college and I was at shoe carnival in southern Illinois trying to get a pair of, I think, dress shoes, probably. Doc Martin.

Speaker 2 There was

Speaker 2 radio station remote from the shoe carnival that Saturday.

Speaker 2 And when I say I won a Cheryl Crowe CD, I should really amend that to say, like,

Speaker 2 they gave me a Cheryl Crowe CD because I was there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can I just say, if there was a shoe carnival, an actual carnival full of shoes. Do you guys know, do you want to take a stab at the number one attendee of a shoe carnival? We've mentioned them before.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Wiki Feet Perverts. Oh, yes.
Yeah. Now, or we do have to tag this episode because it is chock-a-block full of foot perversion.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 A lot of trigger warnings.

Speaker 1 A lot of trigger warnings. Should we introduce a foot tier? I think so.
No.

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 I feel like we've built up enough joy with the shoe carnival thing. We're ready for the bummer tab.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's the project 2025 tracker. Fuck that.
Move on.

Speaker 2 The next one is the real ID.

Speaker 2 It's the information about getting your real ID in Illinois because I need to do that still.

Speaker 1 I keep putting it off.

Speaker 2 I tried to do it around my birthday last year. And when I went in, I had everything.
I'd read it and I knew it was like complicated. And then I brought in a pay stub

Speaker 2 because that was one of the things you could have. But the pay stub, it partially obscures my social security number, so they couldn't accept it.

Speaker 1 Damn, that's brutal.

Speaker 2 And I was like, and at the time I was at my mom's helping her after a surgery, so I couldn't just easily go get another thing.

Speaker 1 Is it like after the start of next year, you have to have it to fly or something, right?

Speaker 1 In Illinois. In Illinois, yes.
Sooner than I can. As an Illinois resident.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, if you have your passport, you don't, you can just use your passport.

Speaker 1 But if you don't have

Speaker 1 it. And they keep delaying it.
Like, we've already passed the first deadline. And I've kept, I tried to do it.

Speaker 1 Like, I have tried to, I've renewed my ID more than once somehow, and then still, like, multiple times failed to be able to get the real ID.

Speaker 2 Well, you're on that month by month to month, right? That is true.

Speaker 1 That's true. Because I like getting a new picture.
You know, I'm a different person every day. It's true.

Speaker 1 I think it is just outstanding that a group of people were like, okay, we need, instead of the current ID, we need an ID that's like a little more foolproof. Like, it's like, what do we call it?

Speaker 1 And someone's like, real ID?

Speaker 1 I'd call it super ID.

Speaker 2 Real Ghostbusters rules.

Speaker 1 Well, there's id

Speaker 1 ID.

Speaker 1 Super id, ID.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm ego. Wow.

Speaker 2 Next tab is Adam Schiff's sub stack.

Speaker 1 Wait, how do I know that name?

Speaker 2 The Senator.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes, Adam Schiff. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I've been watching him.

Speaker 1 Watching him? Sorry, unless he's called Shifty Schiff.

Speaker 2 Don't worry about it. I'm just watching Adam Schiff, okay?

Speaker 1 So I'm geo-tracking Adam Schiff.

Speaker 2 Oh, here's another tab that's actually that same

Speaker 1 job opening from Hasbro.

Speaker 2 So it got a double there.

Speaker 1 Okay, now we hit Google Drive tab.

Speaker 2 And then, okay, guess what? So the next tab is something I've opened for my Google Drive that is not Magic Tavern related. It's Matt Young-related.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Two guesses, real quick. We're way over there.

Speaker 1 Two guesses. Yeah.

Speaker 1 My guess is going to be: it's the saved, itemized auction list of props from the movie Mrs. Dumpfire.
Hmm.

Speaker 2 Good guess, but wrong.

Speaker 1 Do we get two guesses each or just two total?

Speaker 2 Two guesses each.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 My boring guess is headshots of some kind.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Okay. Is it a list that you keep, that you update occasionally of like board games you've played?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Okay. The first part was good.

Speaker 1 A list? So it's some kind of list.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 List of people that has wronged you. No, no.

Speaker 2 It is a list of subscription services and when I've canceled them or when I've paid for them so that I don't lose track of all the stupid subscriptions I have.

Speaker 1 Smart. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you got now? What's on that list?

Speaker 2 What do I have now? I canceled a bunch of stuff.

Speaker 2 We have Max still.

Speaker 2 We have Crunchyroll. We gotta watch our anime.

Speaker 2 And we still have Disney Plus, but I never watch Disney Plus, but I'm on like a yearly thing and I always forget to cancel it.

Speaker 2 And then I'm like, well, there's no reason to cancel it because it's gonna go to like normal.

Speaker 1 I have some weird like Hulu combined with Disney Plus thing, but I can't, I want to get rid of possibly both of them, but it's so I might be banging for one of them twice. It's so confusing.

Speaker 2 I had the same thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Disney Plus is really frustrating because I think, can you only get it as a year-long subscription? It feels because that's what I've done for the last several years.

Speaker 1 And it feels like every three months I get like an email from them that's like, real quick, it's going from like $160 a year to like $210 a year. Like, everything okay, good.

Speaker 1 Like, they constantly bump the price, but because it's a once-a-year payment,

Speaker 1 it slips to my mind to like ever cancel or anything. Yeah.
Same thing. It's really.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't. I think you can do monthly, but I'm not.
Okay. I'm not sure.
Oh,

Speaker 2 I've got an workingbikes.org open

Speaker 2 because they have a donations page, and I have an old bike I've been trying to get rid of, and it's really hard to sell or donate an old bike. Nobody wants them.

Speaker 2 And so I looked up this place, and I think I'm going to try to get my bike to them at some point.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 2 Then the next website I have open. This is relevant to something we were talking about before we started recording.
This is JohnOliverWantsYourRatErotica.com.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Which is a website that Last Week Tonight sets up, and they sometimes put funny stuff out there. It literally used to be about Rat Erotica.
If you watch a show a lot, it's pretty funny.

Speaker 1 Teenage Mutant Rat Erotica. It works.
That works.

Speaker 2 Right now, if you look it up, it's how to change your settings to make yourself less valuable to meta.

Speaker 2 So it's like changing settings on Facebook and Instagram. Then I have a search tab open where I searched for Gmail alternatives.
And then I never clicked on anything or did anything beyond that.

Speaker 2 The next tab is for my representative, Jan Schakowsky.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 The next tab is for Dick Durbin, U.S.

Speaker 1 Senator.

Speaker 2 Next tab is for Tammy Duckworth.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 Then I've got a crooked.com article open.

Speaker 2 No, this is just their homepage.

Speaker 2 So a lot of news stuff. There's a lot of news stuff here.
I have a LinkedIn learning tab open to increase my skills.

Speaker 1 I don't really, yeah, I don't really know. I don't spend much time on LinkedIn.
Is that like

Speaker 2 LinkedIn at some point bought a different company? I can't remember the name of it now. It was a thing, it was like Cindy or Sally or something.
It was like a

Speaker 2 website you could just go to and like learn whatever. Like, there's all sorts of different courses on it.
And they bought it and made it into

Speaker 2 LinkedIn Learning.

Speaker 1 How many tabs do we have left?

Speaker 2 I'm just looking at the clock: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, about like 15-ish.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 how many more of them are like like news or politics related?

Speaker 2 JD Pritzker.

Speaker 2 What is this one? I don't even know what this is. 12 best writing portfolio examples on how to create your own.
I don't know why I have that open. Another LinkedIn

Speaker 2 tab.

Speaker 2 Here's an OBS open broadcast software. I was going to try to learn how to use that.
I have two tabs for that.

Speaker 1 Open.

Speaker 2 I have a tab of

Speaker 2 an artist, Ryan Dugan, open, who does posters and different cool artwork,

Speaker 2 I believe, based here in Chicago. Oh, cool.
Another LinkedIn tab, an Atlantic article, another Dick Durban tab. I don't need to.

Speaker 1 Another Dick Durbin tab.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. I was, I sent him a message at one point.
I sent all those people like a letter, you know. Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, trying to do something.

Speaker 2 My New York Times subscription overview, another LinkedIn learning tab,

Speaker 2 oh, Washington Post article, it's a bummer.

Speaker 2 Two King Center tabs about their classes for non-violence. Non-violence training at a glance.

Speaker 2 That's actually something my company created a few years ago that I just wanted to read about it again.

Speaker 2 They helped make the online version of that. I didn't have anything to do with that.
Other people worked on that and it's supposed to be great. And, you know,

Speaker 2 it's the stuff of the day. I wish it was more fun.
If you want something stupid, you see, you guys thought this was going to be more embarrassing and that I was a person of little.

Speaker 2 Not necessarily embarrassing just more toys yeah okay well if you go to favorites though there is a whole games and collectibles uh favorite section top of that is gundam which has one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve sixteen saved tabs in it two One of which is a Gundam wiki tab about the universe of Gundam.

Speaker 2 The other one, which is a Gundplaw wiki, which is specifically about Gundam plastic model kits.

Speaker 2 That's how many there have been over the 40 years that it has its own separate wiki just for the model kits.

Speaker 1 Is some of this going to go into a spin-off called Falkin' Favorites? Yep.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 2 There's a Lego, a Transformers, a G.I. Joe, a Star Wars, Masters of the Universe, a couple different toy stores saved in here.
A Blood on the Clock Tower wiki, which I have saved.

Speaker 1 Love playing that. We've had so much fun playing that game.
I had a lot of last year or two.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I usually have probably, I don't know, between a dozen and 20 tabs. I have on two browsers.

Speaker 1 I have two monitors, a browser on each monitor, and they kind of are for different things.

Speaker 1 But I always accumulate weird stuff between doing research of weird stuff for work or just my own weird interests.

Speaker 1 But before we record, for some reason, I always try to whittle down my extraneous tabs, somehow thinking that's going to help my processing speed for the recording, even though i'm sure it's minimal i feel like it probably helps right especially if it's yeah if it's something like facebook or something at all what's your tab do you have a tab count are you like a lot of tabs kind of guy or not i am unfortunately a lot of tabs uh and a lot of windows you guys have also seen my desktop your desktop is crazy which is just i i put nothing in folders so it's just

Speaker 1 madness that's a nightmare to me that is like literally my nightmare i love folders i mean my desktop is not organized necessarily but yeah, yours is, is

Speaker 1 am I the most organized of the three of us? Absolutely. Probably.

Speaker 2 I mean, I don't, I don't think of myself as that organized, though. I mean, in certain things, I am.
I'm very select.

Speaker 2 I'm very, very organized about certain things and then very unorganized about other things. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think I'm inherently unorganized, but like I've just spent my life like having to deal with how organized I am that I have out of sheer force of will made myself like given myself more guardrails around that stuff to a certain extent yeah

Speaker 1 so adult in the future and it's okay to say no would you be comfortable in being the subject of a future talk and tabs as a

Speaker 1 longtime fan of talking tabs i would be thrilled to be the the focus the subject of a talk in tabs pretty exciting well we thought we were only going to do this for like four we've done i think we've kind of gone over time.

Speaker 1 But I thought, I think,

Speaker 1 look,

Speaker 1 in the back half, did the tabs get less interesting? Sure. But I have had fun the whole way through.

Speaker 2 Could we do a future episode that's just about my favorites folder called recipes that has recipes in it that I've saved for the last 15 years? I mean, I can scroll through it.

Speaker 2 There's probably a hundred recipes, none of which I've ever made a single one.

Speaker 1 Have I done? Now, Matt, I have to ask, have you been sitting on these recipes waiting for some of these food items to go on sale? I gotta freeze this cheese so I can make this food.

Speaker 1 When will butter ever go down? I remember years ago, I got a Costco membership, which I've had on and off since then. Ooh la la.
Must be nice. Hoy poloy.

Speaker 1 And before I went, I was like, I because I had vaguely heard that, like, look at Costco, there's certain things that it makes sense to get. And then there are other things that's just kind of a waste.

Speaker 1 Like the, like, and so I did a certain, like I found a article about what you should get at Costco and what stuff is not worth it. I got to open a tab.

Speaker 1 And it was this elaborate thing of like, you know, these spices are good and these things are not. And eventually I was just like, I cannot live this way.

Speaker 1 I mostly live by the rule of, I very much enjoy going to Costco. I live by the rule of buy whatever except for eggs.
Because when you buy eggs at Costco, unless you're a bakery,

Speaker 1 half to three-fourths are going to go bad. No, sure.
Too many eggs. Yeah.
I agree.

Speaker 2 Well, that's another future episode is us just going to Costco

Speaker 1 and just

Speaker 1 stocking up. I'd listen to that.

Speaker 1 Well, thanks, both of you. Thank you, Matt Young, especially for letting us dive into your tabs.
Your English is very good. Thank you.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't know who you were talking to. Sorry.
I was looking in the mirror.

Speaker 1 Well, obviously, because I'm checking my Gmail. I would also like to thank Adle for sharing my enthusiasm for Matt Young's tabs.
Woo!

Speaker 1 And I'd like to thank all you sweet tabbies out there, which is what I like to call our fan base. Oh, yeah.
And I'd like to thank Arnie Niekamp for leading this discussion in tab exploration.

Speaker 1 Oh, thank you, Adel. And of course, we can't forget to thank our producer, Eric.
Eric, if you're listening, change your name to Garrett.

Speaker 2 I got to close these tabs.

Speaker 1 All right, until next time, keep tabbing. And then our outro theme song will be Keep On Rocking in the Free World, but we'll keep it in the middle.
Keep on rocking in the free world. Keep on rocking.

Speaker 1 It works. It scans.
Keep on rocking in the free world.

Speaker 1 Keep on rocking in the free world. Talking to tabs.
Keep on tabbing in the free world. Teenage mutant talking tabs.
Matt Young's very angry.

Speaker 1 Abrupt ending.

Speaker 6 Fun app, guys. Fun app.
I guess next time we'll organize the stuff under the kitchen sink. Arnie Niekamp, Adel Refi, and Matt Young are all real people who know the other shit they make up isn't real.

Speaker 6 This episode was produced by Matt Young. Post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz, associate producer Anna Hoverman, special assistants by Ryan DeGiorgi.
This episode was edited by Sage GC.

Speaker 6 Logo by Alard LeBon, original Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland, not the Tavern theme by Matt Young. Sort of.

Speaker 6 If you want more content like this, and why wouldn't you, go to patreon.com/slash magic tavern.

Speaker 6 Become a patron for just $5 per month and support the show while receiving some cool benefits in addition to your two bonus episodes a month.

Speaker 6 Benefits like a monthly newsletter from the hosts, access to the Magic Tavern Discord, the full back catalog of bonus content, and ad-free versions of the main show.

Speaker 6 Learn more at patreon.com/slash Magic Tavern and support this independently produced production.

Speaker 2 I'll be back with one more unlock next week, and I've been told it's the most popular podcast in Foon.

Speaker 7 Currently, until then, stay cool.