Here Comes The Mighty Helm of Balathor (Part Five)

Here Comes the Guillotine contains offensive language, mature content, and adult themes.

It is not suitable for a younger audience.

This is a Global Player Original Podcast.

Hello, and welcome to

Here Comes the Mighty Helm of Balathor.

If you're listening to this intro, then it's somehow stretched out into five episodes

of us exploring a dungeon with Rab Florence, DM, Louise Stewart, my son Thor and CMB.

Can I just say I really, really enjoyed making these

in Sloan's, the oldest pub in Clasco with the legendary macaroni cheese and chips.

And I would love to go back there.

So if you're digging these,

send in feedback.

We only get the positive stuff because Bruce Randy sifts through the negativity to give us just glorious praise.

So don't even bother giving us a hard time.

Hope you enjoyed the episode.

Okay, so to recap: you've come to Horse Hair Village after a strange, mysterious invitation and found yourself trapped in the wonderful and magical travelling dungeon of Memoria Mamaiah.

You have

explored, found yourself in a mysterious room that looks out on an alien world that is beyond your comprehension.

And upon trying to explore that further, you found yourself attacked by fungus.

defending itself, purely defending itself.

The fungus, after which our brave paladin was spewing in a bucket.

Traumatised.

Then you had an encounter with Black Bartholomew and in his room played some games with him, a very charming

individual.

And the latest challenge is you find yourself in this strange room with a glass box that the party assumes to be a lift.

It's an assumption.

You've pulled the lever a few times.

You've looked at these pretty little plants with pretty little mouths.

And you've also spent some time trying to work out the magical properties of a rope.

And now you find yourself in a room where some skeletons lay sleeping.

A room that the skeletons, to be fair, did not want you to enter.

And now find yourself challenging this weary skeleton and this tired skeleton to battle.

Maybe I could play WeTune to send them back to sleep.

Or is it too late for that?

You never say listen.

We need to battle this skeleton.

I like to never say no in Dungeons and Dragons or any role-playing game.

So I'm going to ask you the question: as these skeletons are rising up from their slumber, do you want to, instead of rolling initiative for combat, do you want to play a wee tune?

On second thought,

I won't take that as me trying to dissuade you because that's not the idea of the thing.

No, I'm thinking to myself, I'm a wee bit scared, my fingers are trembling, it's probably not going to be my best performance, so I'll just roll for initiative.

Okay, let's say I know we rolled for initiative at the end of last session.

Right, let's be honest, who can remember that?

Let's uh, was that a good roll you had?

No, it wasn't a good roll.

Well, let's roll again, that's good, that's good, let's roll again

for initiative and see where we are.

Eight, no, sixteen,

no, eighteen, three for me, three for you, have you added your for me?

Have you added your external modifier onto that already?

No, but let's be honest 24.

Still going to be what?

What did you roll?

I rolled a 19, I've got a plus five in a show.

I'm 19.

I've got 20.

I'm five.

I'm five.

So initiative's the only thing we can roll.

Yeah.

Five.

Five Euro what?

And nineteen.

Nineteen.

We want to get involved, but we've got no skills.

Twenty.

This is good.

I've already said I'm scared, so I'm a bit, you know.

This is exciting.

You had a bagpiper.

Pedro got five.

I mean, you really could have played that tune, couldn't you?

Let's be honest.

To be fair, maybe the bagpiper should hang back.

Is it bagpipes you're playing?

I think here, I've got a couple of instruments.

I've got some bagpipes.

Back to sleep.

That actually made me.

I thought I'd brush something.

I thought I'd brought a liver.

I've got two bagpipes.

One for each arm.

The drone can be quite soothing.

They don't have ear canals.

Maybe it's a battle with a player.

Is that a battle cry?

Like to raise the spirits?

Of course you can do that.

And we can also use that as inspiration if you want to give people inspiration during the

odds.

Where we're fighting, you're also playing your bagpipes.

Is there any particular tune you're playing?

No, it's just a...

Jesus Christ!

It's intimidating.

It's intimidating.

Right, so we've got, as you can see, this is the odd up here.

So the two skeletons will be acting before you,

but everybody else will be acting before the skeletons.

So you just have to be able to get the skin.

That's how I actually feel.

Finish it fast and I'll make it.

Because

these skeletons have been rudely awakened from their sleep, I'm going to give you all advantage in the first round of combat.

Wonderful.

Alright?

Because they're just getting out of their beds,

reaching for their weapons, coming into battle.

Let's just go for it.

Quen, you're up first.

I was up front.

I'm gonna realise I've made a mistake and as a halfling, I don't have to like move people out the way.

I can kind of run through the legs, apparently.

So I'm gonna just go back

under everybody's legs.

Through everybody's legs.

Go around the corner and hide.

What?

So that I can then use stealth in my next turn.

Assuming these skeletons don't burge the way to find me.

Alright, okay.

He's done.

I mean,

you're hiding outside the room.

You're outside the room.

I met magic missile, yeah.

Many of you can speak so you want to communicate that to your.

Otherwise, they'll know.

I just think you're running away.

I'm saying,

actions speak louder than words.

So on the thing where you had advantage, you ran away.

Yeah.

To hide.

Yeah, to hide.

To gain advantage on your next gut.

You've just tried an advantage for a different advantage.

Yeah.

Okay.

Five seconds of the combat has a lot of fun.

I'm not not a tank, I'm a

hobbit.

Fair enough, right?

You don't send a hobbit into a room full of two skeletons.

But I suppose you're switching up so that Hammer can

take.

I trust your quick.

These two skeletons,

there's one that looks tired, right?

There's one that looks tired.

There's another one that's really kind of weary and kind of depressed looking.

A depressed looking skeleton.

You know what I mean?

It's like the vibe you can pick up after them.

You're wondering how you can tell that?

It's body language.

Body language is what it is.

Yeah, you can tell it's body language.

I think I feel a bit bad for the depressed one.

I sort of get my long sword out and swing it at the less depressed one, sort of give the other one a chance to liven up a bit.

What?

See, I would have.

Okay.

What's wrong with this group?

Right, so you're just going for the tired one.

Right, make the attack then.

Advantage, yeah?

Yes.

Okay, 10

plus

50.

It's a hit.

Real damage.

Two plus five.

Five damage total?

Yeah.

So

tell me how you land your sword on it.

Explain it to me.

I'm coming across in a big

sort of slice across its chest.

You hear its ribs

start to crack as you hit in it.

It just looks sad when you hit it.

The skeleton just looks sad.

Its jaw just kind of droops.

There's no enjoying it.

It's no enjoying the battle.

That's quite unfortunate.

Balder up.

Balder up, you're up.

I'm going to roll burning hands.

I'm going to step forward and grab his napper.

The skeleton?

Which one?

The tired one or the depressed one?

The tired one.

I step forward and grab his head.

Yeah.

Burn it.

Okay.

So you're using a spell slot?

Yep.

Oh, that's a big hit.

19mm.

So, what's the damage on that?

you'll have to check.

I'll check.

What did you say it's called?

Bombing hand.

Jesus, it just sounds bad, doesn't it?

Bombing hand.

It's a 15-foot cone.

Each creature in a 15-foot cone.

No, he did step ahead, he did step ahead before he cast it.

Okay, so.

My hair gets singed.

Right, okay, so the skeleton was going to make a dexterity saving throw.

Do I have to make that throw?

No, no, you're fine, because he stepped forward, he stepped forward and

I was right in the fucking boss.

This is why I got out.

Yeah, I got the corner.

I, in this moment, realise exactly what

your

whole thought

was.

Nobody blames Quenrow Milk Thistle for his speedy escape.

Cowardess.

Someone would say that.

3d6.

Do you want to roll because one of them has dodged, but you've hit one of them.

So let's say the one you've hit is the one you've put your hands over in the side.

You roll 3d6.

Fire damage.

Two.

Four.

Twelve in total.

You a cone, a fire, fires out for your hands and through the skull of the tired one.

It's a regular.

The depressed one behind just kind of ducks under it.

You can hear

a moan, like a ghostly moan coming out.

And by the time you move your hands away, there's no head there.

The skeleton just falls

in pieces to the floor.

It's quite a dramatic death for that skeleton there.

Really dramatic.

Right, so now the

depressed skeleton is going to make its move.

How was this?

Depressed skeletons moving up to you after what happened there.

What's your armour class?

It's probably quite poor.

11.

Okay, here we go.

So, it's only got a B short sword, fucking knackered-looking short sword that's got it lifts, swings, and hits,

which does

five Piercing damage to you, so it's five damage, five

P A and

three

ouch.

Right, listen, I've got daggers.

Cool.

Right?

I heard my stabbing a bone.

Listen, don't worry about that.

Alright, okay, okay, okay, so it doesn't, so that's not gonna affect me.

Why are you getting into yourself?

I don't know, I don't know.

I'm just worried.

I'm just worried.

I don't want any fuck it up for the rest of you.

I'm an actor, I'm an overthinker.

I like to know my motivation for stabbing the bone, right?

So I'm going to um

I'm assuming I'm slightly further back at the moment.

So I um

one of them's gone now?

Yeah,

yeah, there's only one left.

There's only one.

There's only the tie, the depressed skeleton.

Can I throw a dagger at its heat?

Yeah, absolutely.

Like that.

Make your roll and it hits the dexterity modifier on your dagger when you make a roll.

Dexterity modifier on my roll.

And I whipped my roll in a one blah blah blah.

One D4.

Oh David 20 for the okay.

Oh fuck's sake that's a one.

Oh my god.

Hammer make a save and throw, make a dexterity, save and throw.

Dodge it to the wire.

What is your dexterity?

13 so plus one.

Plus one so it hits the dagger, hits you, the damage against Hammer.

Oh

sorry.

We're fucking fucking cast.

They're rough to end it, engine.

Dang your damage, roll rolls for damage.

Oh no, don't worry.

No daggers will do much, do they?

What D4 plus 2?

2, 4.

Four damage.

We can learn that.

We've been essentially taking a schoolboy into a dungeon and used him as a human shit.

It's gotta land somehow.

Beautiful, lovely.

Lovely.

Right, so that's the end of that round of combat.

Well done, everybody.

Is there any moving or anything you've got?

We really had the advantage in that round.

This is exciting, by the way, because we're going to find out whatever we see.

Where the hoffy enemies are away.

You're done.

I'm done.

I'm finished.

Here we fucking go.

I'm going to use, even though I already had Advantage, this time I'm going to really use Advantage now that it's been thinned out a bit.

I'm going to sneak in, hide behind Falderal, sneak attack over the shoulder with my dagger.

Also get something called Neck, which is a dagger, which you can do with a dagger, which means you get an extra attack.

As long as it's a light weapon, which I dagger is.

It's crazy.

This is MVP stuff.

This is MVP stuff.

By the way, you forgot to use your advantage.

You could have rerolled that and not.

Oh, I've been

purposely.

I don't think you inspired anybody with your baggage.

I did.

I went, ah, that was my inspiration at the start.

Right, did you, well, who do you choose one person person at the table you want to inspire them?

Well now I feel bad because I've stabbed a wemas.

He's a good day and attack though.

I would love to get an inspiration.

Because I just rolled a three and a five and a half.

Alan inspired you.

I would say outside the room as well.

You have all been kinda involved in combat.

Outside the room he's probably had many a chance to listen to the bagpipes as well because he's been hiding

out.

So I get stabbed.

I think you're a man that appreciates music.

Yeah, I mean.

Also, to be fair, it's not too surprising that you missed throwing a dagger while playing bagpipes, you know.

The music reminds me of my ex-wife.

Well, ex-wages.

What?

I thought she was your dagger.

I thought she was your beloved today.

I misspoke.

Reminds me of my beloved deceased wife, Roshi.

I think the bagspipes have inspired you because it's drowned out the screams coming from the room.

Is this suspicious?

Because he also said, he also went to see my current wife.

He told me something.

He told me something.

Right, here my d6, fling me one of your d6s across then.

Yeah, fuck that.

So you can, you can add that.

It's a four.

You can add that to any roller.

Thank you.

Oh, okay.

You know what I mean?

So he made sure.

Okay.

So there, so you're attacking.

You're attacking the depressed skeleton with sneak attack.

Yeah.

Cool.

I rolled a five there.

Plus four plus three.

Would that hit?

No, that's a miss.

Alright, fuck that.

Did these guys even go to attack us?

I'm just making sure.

I don't know, to be fair.

He won't hit him.

From the very beginning?

When we walked in the room?

No.

No, no, they just got up.

He just got up and then we just started

a cave.

Good temper people.

To be fair, Faldural burged one of their heads off and the other one hit him with a stick.

I take the burden of this, Falder.

I don't think it's going to act.

So that's true.

I fucked it.

She ran out of the room,

hit some bad pipes, ran back in and missed twice.

Yes.

Oh, there's a second.

Did I get a roll again then?

I thought it was like two stabs on the side.

It would be a different roll.

Can I get another chance?

If I'm using my

Nick move then, Nick's like a second dagger.

But does...

Well, hold on, does Nick.

When you make the extra attack,

make it as per I.

I mean...

Alright, okay.

Okay.

Okay.

This attack can only be made once per turn, the extra attack per night.

Alright, fair enough.

Okay, that's a 9 plus.

I already used it and it fucked up.

9 plus 12 again.

Okay.

So you missed.

You did a missed rebase.

Yeah.

Arms, hammer.

I guess I just.

So you've just seen this depressed skeleton whack the wizard right in the arm with a sword.

I know he comes in and just

reruns back through your legs.

You've leaped over his shoulder as well, so you've leaped at him and just fallen onto the floor.

Yeah.

Okay.

Do you get that dagger in the back of your shin as well?

Yeah.

Volley him right into the skeleton.

He's right at your feet on the volley.

They do it as a bonus action.

As a step forward?

Yeah.

This is

really disrespectful.

A human cannonball.

This is disgraceful.

Do you have your sword?

Is it your sword you're holding?

Yeah.

Okay.

I feel like he wouldn't kick a wee hobbit.

Maybe he picked a wee.

Are you too righteous to do that?

Yeah, I think he's righteous.

I'm not.

I think we can wait.

Wait for Falderal to do that.

It's much more of a Falderal activity.

Yeah, I think I just sort of lunge forward with the knife in my calf, sort of limping a bit.

Swing down.

That's a nine

plus five.

That's for your damage.

Your sword comes right down on the skeleton's collarbone.

Six plus three, that's nine damage.

The skeleton just comes down under the weight a wee bit, but pulls itself off your sword and comes forward.

Falder all you're up.

And it's still focused on him because he's the one that's done that

frightening damage in the room.

And where is young milk this in relation to?

You run through

everybody's legs, so I'd say he's crouched down right in front of you.

I've got a magic missile, but I don't know I want to blow that on this quite weakened skeleton.

If the other one hits maybe 12 hit points, this one's probably taken.

Maybe I could just

gently lift you towards the skeleton with the toe of my

wonderful boot.

How about that?

Yep, you do it.

Yeah.

We'll treat that as a shove, right?

Make a roll there, make a strength, make a strength roll, I would think.

Yeah, because you're

13?

As strong as a wizard.

You should see how

much.

It's a stronger.

So, what did I roll on?

20?

He's been working it a lot.

He's been doing a lot.

Yeah, D20 and you'll add your strength modifier.

7 strength modifier.

What?

1.

So you kick him, he comes forward, rolls almost like a a forward roll, almost like one of your trademark forward rolls

to walk a skeleton, and you clatter against the skeleton, knocking the skeleton back.

Knocking it off balance, a little bit of no DNA, significant damage, but knocking it off balance.

And actually,

because it's fell back, I'm going to give you an opportunity attack because you're up.

I'm going to, I think it makes sense that you have an opportunity attack in this situation.

Well,

I'm not going to not take the opportunity attack.

So that's 16.

It's a hit.

What will be your damage?

10.

What?

What?

10 damage?

Definitely adding my strength to it.

7.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You swing your sword and as the skeleton staggers back, a wafy Quenril staggers back, just still in range of your sword.

You swing your sword and cleave it into,

smashing its spine, it collapses and the bones fall apart and scar onto the floor.

Good work, everybody!

We did it.

The room

falls silent.

Now, all you can see ahead of you in the room is

scattered bones everywhere.

A jar with an illuminated bug flicking around inside,

sending light across the room and a kind of messy bed covered in dirty blankets.

Would you say a wee prayer for the guys?

Yeah,

I think I'd be like

Tears whole thing, you know, righteous combat or whatever.

He'd be like, well done.

Or whatever.

Because I shot my head by the way.

And fucking.

Yeah, I think he sits there for a wee moment.

and sort of tries to process that

just sort of kneels in the middle of the room.

Does a week prayer and then

tries to process that incredible set piece delivery from Falderal.

Yeah, I think he's just kind of trying to honour their

kind of nice V1 too.

I kind of feel like it was the first time teamwork had kind of happened.

In a sense.

You're filming yourself like a wee ball for everybody to kick around the room.

We'll get better as we do it more.

I take the skeleton's index finger.

No plans for it.

Are we going to sleep here first?

Get our spell slots back.

I think we're fine.

Haunted beds.

Yes, but you haven't taken five damage.

He's all going to climb in the one bed.

I'm not going to bed with him.

There's two beds.

There is two beds, yes.

We could have a sleep while you guys

watch.

We're just nominating.

No, for short rest.

That's a good thing.

I'm no putting, listen, these are level one characters.

I'm happy for East to have like an 8-wheel nap and an 8-wheel sleep in here if he's wanting.

If you want to summon your sleeping.

Because I will say,

this doesn't feel like as safe a place to sleep as Black Buffalo Music did.

Because you have to put the sandbags against the door.

I think they just give you the five points of healing and you get your health back.

There you go.

What did you say?

You want some spells?

Spells.

You've still got all the spells.

I've got one spell.

Okay.

So the vibe is off, though.

The vibe of this area is off.

Why do you need to make a perception check?

Why do you make a perception check if you're worried about it?

I'm just, you know, I'm always worried.

I spend my life worried.

Hold on.

on.

What's my...

Do I not have a...

I'm sure I've got a...

Perception will just be a wisdom modifier, isn't it?

Is that wisdom modifier?

Plus two perception.

Am I rolling a this?

Yeah, D20.

D20.

I had a six in my hand.

1921.

Wow.

At first, you were feeling like this cannabis, but see as silence kind of settles in the place and you start to think about the fact,

well, these skeletons are kind of sandbagged the door, and it seems like they were safe enough to sleep in here.

You think to yourself, maybe

you feel a wee bit calmer about it.

The door, I think.

What was going on?

What was going on with them?

What was their life like that they had?

Yeah, no wonder they were wearing something.

You didn't mess them up.

You just attacked them, the poor cows.

I wish I had been friendlier or kinder.

Did they drop any staff?

I'm not sure you said that same hang on your deathbed.

Right, there's nothing else in the room that's of any use.

There's just the bugs.

Two beds, some bones.

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of there is, again, it's like quite a featureless room, quite a bare bones room.

Just a couple of beds and the bug on the wee bedside table.

And a loader.

You know, everything's a bit singed now, right enough.

It's a bit singed.

I think just have a wee nap, grab the bug, crack on.

Right, I want to sandbag the door, though.

Who's climbing into bed?

I'm getting into bed.

You

are aware of something in the bed the minute you sit down.

Good news.

Something hard.

Something hard against your seat.

Wow.

As you sit.

When you pull this up

It's a long implement that you recognise because you've seen some of the master wizards that you trained with,

you've seen in their collections things like this, so you immediately know what it is.

You can explain to the others what it is as well.

I've found the horn of blasting.

Oh, wow.

The horn of blasting.

You can use in action to speak the horn's command word and then blow the horn, which emits a thunderous blast in a 30-foot cone that is audible 600 feet away.

Each creature in the cone must make a constitution saving throw and if they don't it does quite a lot of damage.

Wow.

How much?

How much damage?

5d6 thunder damage

as well as turning them deaf.

Suck a nuke.

There's a caveat.

Each use of the horn's magic has a 20% chance of causing the horn to explode.

The explosion deals 10d6 fire damage to the blower

and destroys the horn.

So perhaps last resort.

Yes, yes.

Okay.

Right, okay, so

you're climbing into bed.

Who's

I think?

Just go based on size.

I'm small, who's big?

The biggest and the smallest should share a bed, and then the two medium people should share a bed.

I don't know how large you're surfing.

I'm 5'10.

These are both pretty tall.

Are you climbing in with Aldral then?

How tall are you?

Jumping.

I'm three feet.

Six one.

How tall are the skeletons?

How long is the bed?

That's the question.

I've no annoying to be honest, I've no written down in this adventure how tall these skeletons are or how long the bed.

How long do you think they're in the state of the mind though?

Eight foot seven?

No.

What?

No, they're like five eight.

Average.

Five eight.

And they're depressed, which kind of shortens them.

Okay, so are you sandbagging the door?

Is that a thing you saw?

Yeah, sandbag sandbag that door.

Okay.

So you sandbag the door, get everything prepared.

You know, the bags are heavy.

It was a strong person that had to open it.

Who opened it again?

It was you, then you shouldered it.

And we know you walk it.

You're strong.

We know you walk it.

So he's in his bed, we're horn or blasting.

You're climbing in with him.

Have you got your rope?

You brought your rope with you?

The rope's with me, yeah.

We've got the rope now.

You sandbag the door and you you settle down.

You're settling down for a night's sleep.

I'm worried about this.

No, I'm not.

Are you not?

My character's a worrier.

I'm worried.

Right.

It's still my car.

Could you pass it, Mario?

Okay, so you settle down for a sleep.

Oh, he's rolling.

He's rolling.

Are we all sleeping now?

Some hours pass

and then you can hear boom boom boom boom boom movement on the door.

Boom boom boom boom boom.

Almost like there's somebody attempting to open it.

But then it falls silent again.

And when you naturally awake after some time you realize that you've spent the night safely in this room.

And

you did dream during the night though and you kind of dreamt of

there was kind of happiness in this room at one point.

There was

happiness and companionship and Oh my god.

But because of that, you've had a fully restorative sleep.

So, restore your spell slots.

Don't even know their names.

Restore your spell slots or anything else you need to do.

In terms of healing, when you sleep, it's

when you heal after a long rest.

For the sake of this adventure that is

again just a kind of introductory one-shot, just I think you should just heal yourself up to your maximum.

Particularly in a room that's had so many fond memories.

Haven't in it.

Why were they depressed then?

Because they were dead.

Because you said fucking barge joint window.

Because we blew this colour.

We

okay.

Right.

Thanks for you guys, you're awake, You're up in the room.

How confident do we feel going out this room?

Into.

Well, we can't stay here forever.

The lights are going back.

Should we perhaps have somebody calm

getting out there, some readiness for web banging on that door?

True.

But that was hours ago when you went back to sleep just to stuff is up with the bagpipes.

Just get asleep.

Alright, I'll take some inspiration on this.

That's all I know about playing the bagpipes.

I want to remind you as well, remember you have your inspiration that I gave you at the start of the adventure, which gives you a reroll.

You need to remember your stuff that you can use.

I did write it down, but I just don't think.

Okay.

Right, so you're playing your backpacks to create a wee bit of inspiration.

Who do you want to inspire here?

You gave him a D6, you need to use it for 10 minutes.

Who needs it?

Ten minutes!

An hour?

10 minutes?

Oh, that's an hour.

Sorry, it's an hour.

That's right.

I had some.

Someday I should get a shot.

Harmer time.

Give Hannah time some time.

Harmony, some inspiration.

Alright, you're here to take it.

I feel like we've youth and his spirit he's the most likely to be inspired by your buggling.

He doesn't understand that it's actually quite powerful.

Wow.

Wow, what is that?

Wow, you just created beef there.

Well,

are we going to try and feed this bug to those plants?

Can I actually do something?

Can I do something before we do that?

We looked up in the other room.

But we never looked above the box to see if it was a left, if it went anywhere.

So what's above the...

It's a.

The box in the corner is like from ceiling to floor.

So, it's like so, like, so it could, so if it was a lift, the floor would go up within the

lift shaft.

But if you go in the box, if you look up,

is there a hole?

Like, can you see anything?

Um, well, you

why don't you go into the box

and look?

I'm not going to tell you what's in a place you're not looking at the minute.

For that, you need a magic snake.

Alright, okay.

Should we go into this box and try and feed these plants and bugs?

Open the jar with a fit as a jar.

So back out of the room, you're into the box, you're all climbing out of the box.

Yes.

Okay.

Everybody in the box.

Everybody in the box.

Open the jar.

Open the jar kinda just cautiously so that the only way the fly can go is into the mouth of this flower.

Well,

okay.

Make an ecstatic check there for that because that's quite a dexterous move to kind of

three, that's a 25.

So you very carefully

very carefully open the jar and the the insect flies out and it kind of flies around a little bit and you kind of shepherd it almost with your hands a wee bit.

It's a gentle thing.

And you shepherd it with your hands a wee bit towards the plants and you can see immediately the plants start to turn but also

you start to smell a kind of sweet sickly smell as well seems to be coming for the plants and the insect

attracted by this flies down to land in one of of the mouths of the wee plant, and the mouth

snaps shut.

And immediately, the stem of the flower starts to glow.

The light passes down into the pot

and onto the ornate little table that the plants were sitting on glows, and you start to feel an energy humming

through the box.

And the light, and you can feel your hairs standing up in the back of your necks,

and you see the light and energy moving towards the base of the lever, and a gentle hum starts to fill the space.

Use lever

immediately.

You pull the lever,

and

the floor you're on starts to move

and starts to move down.

Yes!

That was unexpected.

Lowering slowly, lowering slowly and slowly down

into the floor.

Oh much as I'd expected.

Thank you for listening to the fifth episode of Here Comes the Mighty Helm of Balathor with Frankie Boyle, Christopher MacArthur the Boyd, Louise Stewart, Frankie's son Thor and Dungeon Master Rav Florence.

This episode was recorded at Sloan's Bar in Glasgow, produced by myself, Andy Logue, and the music created by Michael Cameron and Michael Bell from the band Park Safely.

Tune in next week for the sixth part of Here Comes the Mighty Helm of Balathor to find out what happened when the gang pulled that lever.

You can get all the episodes of Here Comes the Guillotine on Global Player right now.

Search for Global Player on your app store or go to globalplayer.com.

This is a Global Player original podcast.