You’ve Been Playing It Too Hard

Here Comes the Guillotine contains offensive language, mature content and adult themes.

It is not suitable for a younger audience.

I feel that I should

have a wee chat with the listeners because a lot of them have been messaging me going, where are you?

Why are you not doing the podcast?

Have you left the podcast?

And I've just been far too busy to go, I can't really respond to this right now.

So, I've had a lot of major life changes, haven't I, lads?

Yeah, in the past eight months.

Fair to say, it's been a year

and I just a lot of personal stuff going on.

A wee bit of death, a wee bit of separation.

It's been a right laugh.

So, if you're like, I'm going to message her and go, Why am I not getting you in this free podcast?

It's because I've been busy.

So, there you go.

Don't come at me

who are entitled to message that to Susie is like the sponsor.

We don't exist.

We don't exist, but if you want hypothetical sponsors, could maybe go away.

Where are you?

But

they aren't there.

Who we should be with a hypothetical sponsor?

Who would that be?

Well, in a sense, we already have.

It's Howard Bespoke Furnishings.

Yes, we're currently working on my massive chest.

Yes, which is furnishing

Dungeons and Dragons style coffee table/slash chest with a reversible lid.

Yeah, you're not having a mahogany exoskeleton built for your chest.

Pecs made it oak.

No.

No.

But we'll see how this coffee table works, right?

Well, to be fair, when I was refurbing some furniture for my new place,

and me and Howarth were in a wee chat.

Oh, yeah.

And yeah, just a lovely, lovely person.

Just a lovely human being and I think your coffee table looks fucking immense.

I mean you're never going to be able to lift it to hoover underneath it.

That's true.

It's not going to be a huge problem for me.

No.

Not you.

But maybe for a kind of middle-aged lady it might be if she's having to lift that and think he's got bodies in here.

Talking about um bodies.

Chests and bodies.

How did your Dungeons and Dragons go?

Did you enjoy it?

Yeah it was great.

It was great, really.

I liked it.

It was something a wee bit different.

Because I'd already done

a I was at McKentlet Comedy Festival and I was standing next to Lee Wiffnell.

Somebody came up to us and

we used to have a podcast together and went, Just um just to interrupt you guys, I'm a really big fan and we were waiting for him to say enjoy an album or something and he went big fan of your lockdown Dungeons and Dragons live stream over the internet that you did Rollin' Slice.

Fucks.

We've never met anybody who's ever heard of that, never mind, was a fan of it.

We've completely taken aback.

So it was cool doing Dungeons and Dragons again, but in a different vibe.

Are you thinking about relaunching it?

I don't know.

I think this will keep going.

I think the Mighty Helm of Balathor

deserves more.

Thor, my son, enjoyed it.

He played a straight-edged paladin.

Did he like it?

He, yeah, he did like it.

I know it's hard to tell him sometimes.

I wonder where to get a snap from.

We had Louise Stewart was a bard.

Robert Flaunce is a dungeon master.

Christopher was a cockney gnome.

It was a halfling.

A halfling.

Not a gnome.

Similar, but different.

And I was a cowardly, homosexual

wizard.

Wizard on type, basically.

Camp

line from Wizard of Oz meets magical wizard.

But then you had to um

I don't know, it just felt like the character kind of morphed as kind of jaded jaded gay wizard who

was kind of frustrated.

Hard not to.

That's how I feel after the past year.

I'm a fucking jaded gay wizard.

I was living, I should tell the listeners and the viewers, because we're on YouTube.

Here comes a guillotine on your YouTube.

That I was living vicariously through you in the group chat.

Wasn't there?

I was in the group chat.

It was very interesting after the first day.

What did you find?

I had no fucking clue what you were talking about, but it was

it seemed

good.

I like the fact that Thor went paladin.

Yeah, he was a very straight-edged, very much played to type.

I don't think you should do that.

We should do what it said on the side.

Is he a real follower?

In life, yes.

He took exception the other day to me referring to him as a biscuit passing people pleaser.

What does that mean?

Somebody who

you are.

Oh, okay.

You know,

a helpful kind person.

He's a helpful, kind person.

You've got to dig that out, haven't you?

Do you know what I mean?

There's almost an innocence to that, isn't there?

You know, you get some cynicism into him.

Life will rob you of your desire to pass out the biscuits.

And have you been down in London recently?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How's it been?

For

great.

Love London.

It's hot.

It's been hot recently.

As the planet heats up, obviously

global warming is wonderful in Glasgow, but actually in a lot of other places, it's a terrible thing.

It's really fucking not wonderful in Glasgow because what we get is warm rain.

It's like having the weather of Singapore but without any of the benefits of being in Singapore.

Also, everyone's brain seems to cook real quick.

Christopher just did a turn.

Yeah, no, I did feel kind of strange there, but I think it's unrelated.

It was like, yeah, I do feel like people are getting daft and cooking like their brains away yolk and their egghead.

But

I don't know, just being in the park and the sun's shining, the river's flowing, the birds are flying, the squirrels are running about, the rat infestation has literally gone over your feet and into your house in some cases.

I think

it's quite nice in London when you're there and it's kind of nice weather and you can sit in the park and all that.

The reality of that in Glasgow is that people just go to the park and get fucking smashed during the day.

Like they are wrecked for four, half, four.

And if you've not been in the park because you might have a job and be at your work or whatever, you then go to the pub and get fucking smashed for half eight on a Tuesday.

It's wild.

It's one of life's great pleasures.

It's like what we do in our spare time on a sunny day is we just go to the pub.

Batman would clean up in Glasgow, man.

He wouldn't even really need to do martial arts.

No, just push people.

Just push people over and trip them.

Yeah.

Like behind you, and then they turn around and knock themselves out, smash them in a fucking tree.

I was in and out of London for a day, and it was 32 degrees, and it was fucking boiling because we're just not designed.

Like, you know, like if you're in Australia, right?

You and I have both done Australia and it's like 32, 42 degrees.

You're like, fuck, it's warm.

Aye, but it's like tree-lined streets, and everywhere's air-conditioned, and fucking marble-tiled floors.

It's just you can just live in it because it's alright.

But here, you're like fucking on a tube in 32-degree heat, like you will literally kill somebody.

Yeah, it's fucking hard.

The thing is, like, it's adaptation now, isn't it?

So, like,

it's gonna be one and a half degrees warm, and then you need to have different, you know, blend of tarmac on an airport, and so on.

Um,

but by the time we fucking do any of that, it'll be like

two degrees warming.

That stuff will be useless by the time we bring it in.

Aye, aye, aye.

Aye.

It's bullshit.

You look like you're going to go to sleep.

Look at your little sad eyes.

You're just taking the specs.

Just big for Nippon Kitchen.

It's fucking wiped him out.

We got a voucher to

Nippon Kitchen, Christopher forgot it.

Did you forget that voucher?

Yeah, it's still here.

But we'll use it tomorrow, I guess.

Can I just,

I love how I'm only in for a few hours tomorrow, but we're still planning lunch.

I love it.

It's like you know, when you get away from school at lunchtime, but they still give you an interval.

Remember those days?

Oh, that time be alive.

I take my life.

Eddie, sure, you're not.

Do you look like you need a sleep?

Yeah, I might go get a glass of water if you screw.

I've been telling him he's been working too hard.

Have you?

I know.

And has he?

Nice.

I'm doing noises, like warm-ups for the fringe.

He's like, I've got four days off before the fringe.

He says, like, Like, what's this 25 days before the fringe?

Yeah, and I'm like,

isn't it funny?

Like, I remember going through that spell.

Whereas now, I don't know if it's because of everything that's happened in the past year or whatever.

I'm in the biggest room, I'm like, the third biggest room at the festival, and I'm like,

it's a good enough show, it's a good show, we're going to have a laugh.

What'll be OB?

This is like, I've now turned into you.

I'm now just like,

I'll be all right.

I'll be all right, it's a good show.

I know it's a good show, and do do you know what?

I'm going to have a nice time performing it, but I'm just not going to get myself into that panic that you'd normally get yourself into over the fringe.

I don't know if it's because last year I just went, nah, fuck it, I'll be where I'll be.

The thing about panic is it's almost never necessary.

And when it is necessary, panic is the least helpful thing you can feel.

Do you know what I mean?

There's very few occasions in life you actually need to panic.

And when you do, you don't want loads of adrenaline flying about.

Nah,

yeah, just yeah.

And I think I'm living in Edinburgh for the full month.

All right, good, great.

I so there's no travel back and forward.

I will literally move there, that'll be great.

It's a 10-minute walk from the venue.

I'm going to in Edinburgh Leisure let you

pay as you go, use the gym as well, or you pay a monthly thing.

So, I'm going to do that and really just kind of sleep and eat right and just be settled.

Do you know what I mean?

And just go and do the show and have a nice time.

I've not taken on loads of other shows, I've literally just went, I'll do a couple of best of the fests, and that's it.

But draw a line under it, would be my advice.

And don't start going, oh, and I ran into someone and I'm doing their show at fucking one in the morning.

Fuck that.

Fuck that.

And also, I've got no interest.

I've got no interest in going out for beers or anything like that.

Because what happens is you just end up in a cycle of doing that all the time.

It was like I got an email the other day and it was, when would you like reviewers to come in?

Never.

And I was like, I just, whenever they were like, are you sure?

And I was like, do you know what?

Does it really matter if a reviewer fucking gives me a three-star?

Does it?

I don't think it does matter.

Behind a paywall to fucking 13,000 PE teachers, which is what the fucking Scotsman and the Herald does these days.

Do you know what I mean?

And it's just like,

I think social media has at least displaced all that.

People will look up a show on their feed.

What are people saying about it?

Yep, they'll see a poster and they'll go into their Instagram or they'll go into their socials and they'll just get it up and I'm just like, yeah, fucking, what will be will be?

Just like.

Christopher, you're planning a major breakdown in the middle every year.

A stand-up.

I had one last year wasn't even doing it.

I know.

I just,

yeah.

Just like, do you know when people talk about I was talking to a pregnant comedian one time

and she was saying that even though she stopped gigging for maternity leave every night at like 8 p.m.

she would get an adrenaline spike because her body was just used to.

I'm about to go on stage, and I think that's what happens with me in August.

Is even if I'm not actually doing the fringe, I will have a mental breakdown and show myself anyway.

That's what happened in 2023.

Oh, 2024.

I was asked

if this year, because I'm staying in Edinburgh for the full month, would I like go to any of the parties?

You know, like the Dave party.

I've never been to a Dave party.

It's good.

Chuckleboard.

Apparently, so, but you know, that way I'm just like, I don't think I will.

I think I'll probably just spin the house.

Being around a stressed comedy community where people just want to tell you about their projector malfunctioning, that shot is kind of like it's the worst.

There's some nice people, and it's like the worst time to meet them just when you're in the middle of a stressful run.

That's that is very, very true.

Very true.

I remember um walking down the street maybe about three years ago and um

I was walking towards like Pleasantstome, and I met Kieran McAllister, who wasn't doing a show.

And we just chatted, and you know, that way you just chat to someone who's not who are involved in the fringe and they're working around it, but they're not in it.

And it was like one of the most calming conversations I've ever had with somebody in Edinburgh.

Do you know what I mean?

Because they weren't frantic about staff, because that's what venues are like.

They weren't frantic about techs, they weren't frantic about reviews or ticket sales.

And I also think the fringe will will be different this year because you've got all those Oasis gigs, and nobody, there's like hardly anybody's doing a full run.

Me and Christopher, Maria Lane Robertson, shout out to us.

What time's Oasis done?

Try to get some cooked up freaks from

last quick come see.

I'd imagine it'll be done for about 10, half 10, so miss you.

It's a clash, me and Owen Lee McClash and unfortunately.

Aye, I'll be alright.

Have you got the night off for Oasis?

No, no, no, no, I'm going to Manchester on Friday.

All right.

Going to see their first first night in Manchester.

Aye.

Going to see their first night in Manchester.

And then what I did do was the Monday that you would generally take off for the fringe, they're playing the Tuesday.

So I've actually taken the Tuesday off because I was like, well, the weekends will look after themselves.

Yeah.

But nobody's going to be like, do you know what will be a laugh sitting on a train for Glasgow to Edinburgh with all the Oasis fans while I go to the festival?

Yeah.

But I'm far enough away at the fringe because I'm up the other side of town that

I'll be alright.

Nobody, no any trams up that part of town.

And you'll be alright as well.

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Christopher, you're collapsing underway at work, mate.

Mate all.

You need a fucking like

fiction.

I do need an adrenaline shot, but I just had a virus at the weekend.

I think I don't think it's working.

I'm not doing it.

I took like two days off to play the Switch 2, so it kind of be a work thing, really.

How is the Switch 2?

It's pretty great.

I mean, I think you're playing it too hard.

Spoken like that.

Yeah.

It's pretty great.

There's magnets.

It has magnets on it, which is cool.

To what end?

I can really think of why it's...

But to like put it in your freezer.

Nah, it's like it.

Did you know how you never had a switch?

Yeah.

You do?

Okay.

Well, do you know how the weed controllers click in?

Now you don't have to slide them.

The magnets click.

Oh.

So there's no sliding.

This is why you've paid hundreds and hundreds of pounds for a slightly better version where you don't have to slide things, even though that's not an issue for anybody on the planet.

The buttons are slightly comfier.

The screen is maybe half an inch wider.

And it doesn't really have any good games yet.

But tell you what, it's worth every penny.

It's worth going out to either Silverburn or Clyde or Brey Head.

I can't remember which one I went to.

Which Bray Head I went to.

Yeah.

I had to get public transport at Bray Head to pick it up.

Which was uh what games are you playing?

What games are we playing?

Uh

Persona 4.

It's about these Japanese teenagers in a small town.

Children are being murdered

and there's this televis when it gets foggy.

There's like a portal opens up and your TV and you get pulled into this other world, which I kind of criticism of media.

And you have to, as a demon inside you, you have to confront your true feelings in it to

like rip off the mask that you wear in society.

And then underneath, it's the real you.

And you use this to kind of solve the crime.

I mean, it's insane.

I'll be honest with you, I'm only a Mario cart girl.

I'm all about throwing some bananas and some shells and taking you out.

If I'm racing against you.

That's me.

I played Mario Strikers last night.

What's that?

It was for the GameCube, but on then Switch 2, you get some old GameCube games.

So it's like Mario football.

Yeah.

I took Wario to a cup final and was

unfortunately bested by Yoshi.

Fucking who calls Wario?

I love Wario.

He's a big fat mess.

Fucking Wario.

He's got a horrible mustache and he eats garlic.

Wario is straightforwardly evil, whereas Waluigi is more tormented by self-hatred.

And also a bit of a Dick dastardly, isn't he?

Yeah.

This is my contribution to the computer chat.

I feel that I've joined the club.

What was Dick Dlatterly all about?

Who was he?

He was the comic actor Terry Thomas.

Oh, I see.

You know, these characters in Hanna-Barbera are just rip-offs of things that were popular.

So they went, let's get Terry Thomas and the guy with a mustache now.

And what was his character in films of the day?

uh he was a cad

and a bounder yeah and yeah he was in a school for gamesmanship or something that's a funny there's a funny film where it's like um where you learn to be a an arsehole basically cad is such a great word isn't it a cad

mate i remember the press used to describe james hewitt as a cad

the victor comic had a strip called captain cad

and it was like this captain in the second world World War who was a CAD, who was an arshole and a coward.

And his Batman, his you know, kind of infantry guy that had to do stuff for him, ended up doing all this stuff.

So it's about like Hong Kong Fuyi, where Captain Cad would be like

take all the wrong decisions out of weakness, right?

There's a really great panel where he's going, we should stop here and camp for the night in the desert with some tanks or something.

Captain Cad's just pointing ahead, going, no, we will reach there before nightfall.

And you can just see at the end of his finger, he's just like stars and darkness.

And they're like, oh, for fuck's sake.

Captain Kadda.

But then the Batman would always sort something out, and then Captain Cad would end up getting fucking decorated for it or something.

Right.

Okay.

It was a kind of class-conscious kids' comic.

It was a criticism of the charge of the light brigade

type shit.

Yeah, but

hundreds of years later.

Yeah.

But also, I say believe you go Wario.

Listen.

I quite like a wee Donkey Kong.

Yeah, it's a new Donkey Kong game, Donkey Kong Bonanza,

where

there's like a rock in it who's your friend.

He's like a sentient rock, but then it turns out that's actually Pauline, the mayor of New Donk City.

It's a young version of her.

She's a singer who's a mayor.

And a rock.

And she's a rock now as well.

She's cursed or something.

Is there still a shortage of Nintendo Switch 2s in Glasgow?

I've stopped taking an interest now that I've got one.

Right.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I mean,

it's hard really to be like, you need to get it because it's not that much better than the Switch 1.

And it's...

Yeah.

Did they manage to step around the copyright of King Hong by calling it Donkey Kong?

So we could just do a little Rocky movie and call it Donkey Rocky.

It seems so basic.

Do you know it was...

I think it was supposed to be a King Kong.

It was supposed to be Popeye game.

Super Mario.

That's why he's like a wee kind of working class guy, and then at the top, it was supposed to be Bluto throwing barrels at him.

Because why would fucking King Kong throw barrels at somebody?

It's not something he does, but sailors, dock people do that.

So, Donkey Kong was supposed to be Bluto, and Mario was supposed to be Popeye, and Princess Peach was supposed to be olive oil.

But they lost the reins, so they had to just make up, I can't.

Did you, um, there was an interview with somebody from Warner Brothers?

Did you see that about the Popeye movie?

And the guy had said, Well, um, well, like, where have you seen the most coke in a film?

What was the most coked-up film set you've ever been at?

And he just went, Popeye, my spinach.

He just showed you clips of the film, and you were like, Oh, yeah, yeah, I can see that now.

If I was olive oil, I would be fucking riding Bluto.

Not Popeye, who looks fucking deformed.

Popeye looks like he's got no teeth.

Pluto's deformed, fucking aging disease.

Olive oil, man.

She was kind of deformed in her own way.

She had that wiggly disease.

She was always going,

but that would have been good.

Yes.

Do you know what I mean?

On some levels.

On some levels.

For fuck's sake.

Olive oil.

We don't have that bit about using olive oil as lube at some point.

No, come on.

But he means actual olive oil.

Ah, I know why.

I'm not saying grind up Popeye's girlfriend and make her into lube.

Maybe she had a power that was just like a hairy, kind of faceless, yeah.

The goons

were from Popeye, do you know what I mean?

So there were these things called goons, and they were like big, hairy without features, kind of surreal.

I guess a kind of

you know, a thing that drifted in from surrealism.

This just kind of like hairy mat people

and Wimpy, who was like just a guy that liked burgers.

Yeah.

And I guess it meant something back in the time, but you were reading it as a kid going, who's this guy that likes burgers?

What the fuck's that gotta do with him?

And Wimpy was kind of Wimpy looked a bit like a South Park character as well, didn't he?

Just that kind of like, just a face.

He looked like he was on a fucking register.

Like many a South Park character.

He was

a burger addict.

He had an eating disorder.

So did Popeye.

That's true.

Spinach addiction.

Popeye did look like a kind of old guy that had returned for war that would just scoop a woman up in the middle of Times Square and kiss her.

Didn't know her.

Didn't know her.

She was never seen again.

No.

I bet he looked like one of those old guys that could gun member themselves.

Why were we like that?

Because he had no teeth.

Yeah.

Right.

He was crossing off the women on his tattoos.

Probably had like

smoked their bones in his pipe.

I remember my nana took me and my cousin Daniel.

My granddad was there as well.

We went to Blackpool when I was like 12.

And

my cousin got a wimpy plush.

Now you're tall.

Like a doll.

And I wanted it so fucking bad.

He wouldn't let me touch it.

Never mind.

Hold it.

I still kind of resent him now that we're both in our 30s.

When I was seven, I had a wimpy birthday party.

As in, it was in the restaurant or it was upstairs in the restaurant.

And Mr.

Wimpy comes along, who's dressed as a beef eater.

Where was the wimpy restaurant?

It was in Tucky Hall Street.

It was where the McDonald's was.

There was also one in Ingram Street because the thing with Wimpy was you could sit in.

Yeah.

Wimpy was better.

Ah, Ah, you get plates and all that.

Used to get a bender and a bun.

A bender and a bun?

That was like a smoked sausage and a bun.

Like a brat

first.

More like a smoked sausage that you would stick in the microwave or getting the chippy.

I wouldn't

go as far and say it was a culinary delight.

When I used to get around England, like in clubs, you always knew you were up against it if you're in a town that still had a wimpy.

That was a kind of marker.

Yeah.

Wimpy blockbuster.

My friend Crystal Evans, friend of the podcast, she recently was asking if she should take her kids to MDs

for

a day out.

That's basically what I said.

Did you say take some WD-40 and some ratchet screwdrivers?

I just said maybe Google is MDs dangerous and then look at the first 10 results and then go.

Make up your mind.

Have you ever been to MDs?

Yeah,

what do you think?

Dangerous, yeah, dangerous.

Not quite space programme, like people die on the space programme, right?

And looking around MDs, those people did not look like they would get a job on the space programme.

It wasn't exactly NASA, was it?

No, no,

although I do remember taking them the nieces and nephews there, and

the me and nephew was about six at the time.

And you know, those kind of like water boats that go on at MDs, so the guys they'd obviously finished, and the guys were like, Right, just park it up at the side, but and they were obviously waiting to pull it in.

And the bold nephew had done a full-on reverse park into position at six years old.

And I was like, Where are we, man?

That a six-year-old can reverse park better than most adults.

Did I have I told a story about my cousin?

I know I spoke about Daniel quite a lot, my cousin in this episode, but he we went to uh MD's together and he had a little football chain on.

I told you about this, no, he had a little football chain, a necklace, well, a little golden football, and then he was on the flying carpet that goes

and like the bar pushed the football into his chest.

He had a little crater in his chest with the I was just sitting next to him in the magic carpet and he was fucking screaming, man.

And that's my main memory of MD's.

Whenever someone asked me, should I take my kids there?

I'm like, if you want them to be like irrevocably changed.

Do you ever go to the carnival?

Which one?

The Ironbrew Carnival?

The Iron Brew Carnival.

It gets you through.

Do you ever go to the Carnival?

What one?

The one at Glasgow Green.

No, the one at the SECC.

My dad used to get free tickets because he was a hairdresser and he was cutting somebody's hair and instead of paying, they go, he was two tickets to take Christopher down to the old Iron Brew Carnival.

I took Mia one time.

And Dodgems are a nightmare.

Was it Scottish Daz and you bumped into them?

Yeah, exactly.

But I'd also been what was before the SEC carnival, which is what I spoke once.

They used to have it in Kelvin Hall.

Yes, I remember that.

I remember that.

Because the waltzers came off and fucked right into the wall two years in a row.

Dead Chambers.

What a coincidence.

Two years in a row.

Two years in a row was what did it.

Yeah, you can, yeah.

You can't do it two years in a row.

That's

a sign that things have to change.

Do you remember it used to be Glasgow Green as well?

It used to be a carnival at Glasgow Green.

Yeah, that's the answer to that.

I like the one at Glasgow Green.

I think a carnival should be outside.

The one at Glasgow Green felt a bit like,

you know, when a bunch of animals go to a watering hole

in the desert

and there was like sort of a predatory fringe

do you know what I mean so you could enjoy yourself with the puggies but at the same time there was always a nuance yeah oh really

annoying and also

just generally predatory kind of um do you know what I mean people that might steal your wallet aye and also that thing like you would see like old guys I say old right like in their like 50s early 60s going to the carnival together and just mooching about and like eating ice cream.

And you'd be like, the fucking used to doing here.

Like, how come you're here?

We know kids.

There's certain things that you can't go eat if you're a man, we know children.

I'm just putting it out there.

You're alright because you look like you're five, right?

That's right.

But you don't know he's not, they've not hired him as a judiciary.

Aye, aye.

What's a judico?

A judic is a thing in an abattoir, or they have a goat that they let go into the abattoir, and because they see it going going in happily because they let it out again.

The other sheep or the other goats follow it.

Looks nice in there.

Slot.

Then the pneumatic meat grinder

whirls into life.

You could be that for Glasgow's paedophile

network.

I think it might be.

I think it might be.

GPN.

850 years old this city this year.

Happy birthday, Glasgow.

Happy birthday, Glasgow.

Carnival should be outside because when you're on a.

What are the things that spin about and you're in a a big swing?

Not steeple chase.

What's the thing where it's like

the parachutes?

Oh, no, no, no.

You need to be looking up at the sky and seeing the stars whiz past like

a screensaver or a laptop or something, you know?

I don't like to go on.

I don't mind a bar.

You don't like to cross mat, but I don't like to dangle.

That is not for me.

You're not dangling.

No, I'm not.

And see all that.

Oh, it just comes over the top and holds you in.

No.

No, I know how gravity works.

And then the golden ball was pushed into his

11-year-old torso by

machinery and gravity and centrifugal force.

That just went flying off like a fucking slingshot.

I was on the fucking Grand National in Blackpool, right?

Do you remember the Grand National?

So it's like the oldest, ricketiest fucking roller coaster, and you're just like,

this is not this, there's no way this is past hell.

You shut this.

No, it's horror.

Can it be?

It's not still made that would, is it?

Aye.

Wow.

And you're like, fucking hell.

Britain's terrorists have put fuck all effort in for.

That's what I thought.

7-7.

It's been 20 years of zero effort from these cunts.

How hard is it to set fire to that roller coaster?

Do you know what I mean?

They wouldn't.

Nobody would notice.

No, they wouldn't.

They wouldn't.

Nobody would notice a fire in the middle of Blackpool.

Not defending ISIS's PR team, but nobody would know it.

So you need to make a bigger impact than setting fire to the most flammable thing.

As we've said before, 9-11 fucked it for everybody.

It was just too good.

Hard to follow.

Yeah.

It's like the Matrix or something.

All your sequels are going to be fine.

It's the fucking Matrix.

It's true, isn't it?

You know.

They've been floundering.

Floundering.

They were four years now.

No,

the Al-Qaeda.

Yeah.

Both, really.

See, be fair, though, we don't really...

See, when you've got like a president like Trump and a prime minister like Netanyahu and you've got the Ayatollah and you've got Putin, we don't fucking need terrorists in the world anymore because it would appear that they're all in charge.

Yeah, they just disappear into the background.

If you're going to blow up six people, good luck, because they're fucking just machine gunning people at age.

People are literally being told go there and get food from a humanitarian organisation

helped set up by Israel and then those people go and then they get shot.

Like what the actual fuck to me it's like what does the future look like for Israel like in 50 years will it be like the way that we look at like South Africa and they're like kind of a punchline of a country where we're like the most fucking racist aparted state where

you know and then

or is it gonna be like Australia where it's like genocide time but it was so long ago that we kind of just go well that's what it's like there or something like what does I think Israel is more complex because it's much more complex, yeah, but it's also like clearly evil and wrong, so it's like, what do you do?

Like,

where do you go for here?

I think also, this hasn't happened yet, you know, Nathan Yahoo, um, but he's just cover for them.

It's like Trump and America, right?

Where they go, oh my god, this terrible guy.

You're like, this was happening under Biden.

Do you know what I mean?

Just it's a different phrase and a different framework for the same thing.

And also, Trump's a bit more entertaining than Biden.

Like, that's it.

Like, there is times when I watch Trump and I do laugh because I'm like

he's fucking funny.

He's overtly camp.

Friend of the show.

Listener of the pods.

Mr.

Scott Agnew.

Listen, we don't watch like Trump too much.

Friend of the show.

Friend of the show.

Doing some live shows and watching.

One Mr.

Comedian Scott Agnew often sends me a gif on a daily on a daily level of something that Trump's done or said and it will always make me laugh because he's just essentially a very camp old man.

It's an elderly camp fascist.

And I also love that.

It reminds us all of our grandfathers.

Exactly.

And his wife fucking hates him.

I like the gifts of her face.

And she's just like, I fucking hope somebody assassinates you.

Let's go to Daley Plaza.

Get the roof down.

I mean,

I've said it before, but I think all his security hate him, so they've floated the idea of those hats because they've got magnets in the hats.

Like a switch controller.

Yeah, to try and help the bullet find its fucking mark.

Probably a very powerful magnetic helmet.

See, even when he came out a couple of weeks ago and he was like, they've been firing so fucking long, they don't know what they're firing over.

I was like, that was actually my dad every Christmas Eve with me and my brother.

Just like fucking, he was just so fucking exasperated.

And everyone's like, oh my God, the president said the F-word.

And I'm like, that is not the fucking worst thing he has ever said or done in his life or in fact in office.

But also, I kind of like the fact that he did.

He was just like, fucking, he was just like, I've fucking had it up to here.

I'm sick of it.

I was like, fair.

We're all, of course, assuming that what we see on the news is true.

Well, that's true.

And it isn't a cover-up for a giant entity like Samson or something that they're fighting in that area.

If you've not heard last week's episode, this will be pretty confusing.

See the longer in the world's

see the longer the world goes on right do you think you're just saying to yourself that it's all just a simulation no i think it's a hologram i don't think it's a simulation i think it's like

i i think it is genuinely a hologram beamed from an infinitely far point But does that make any difference?

It's not a simulation in the sense of,

you know,

we're just doing a different

a different thing than we were told when we thought was a universe with I guess either determinist or free will way of viewing it however you want to but for some reason it's been projected but I think still within that we have a version of free will spoilers upcoming for the video game Expedition 33 Claire Obscura it's a French Japanese role-playing game

but at the end of it

it becomes

at the end of act two it becomes clear that the world that you're a part of is a painting by a dead child, and the parents are trying to keep the memory of the child alive by going into the painting and living there.

And you realise that all your people are just figments or like fictionalized painted versions of this wee boy's life.

And at the end of the game, you can either choose to burn the painting and allow the family to go on with their life in real life,

or you can choose to cut off the real life and keep the fake painted thing going that's what that's what mate they ever just play a game where you just fucking tune out manage blackburn to the europa league final man sign gary gillespie is a youth player from 19 imagine that happened at the end of that and you're like actually blackburn was painted by a child

I mean the actual true reality of Blackburn that me and you experienced was far darker than these French.

I wouldn't say dark, but it was certainly...

It was an old man who had his childhood living room recreated

for furniture because he in the director's box because he wanted to have his mum or something.

Why not?

Why not?

So he's just like, you know, he's a graph...

businessman from Lancashire and he's got

I've embraced the teachings of Freud

I'm gonna recreate my mother's living room in my childhood football club.

That was one of the darkest moments of my life.

Really?

And I loved it.

It was great to just be in someone's fucking mental health problem

for a half hour and then up.

And then save a couple of penalties.

Save a couple of penalties.

Got a pitch.

Great.

Stuff like that makes you go, yeah, it is a painting.

We're just a burning painting, yeah.

Fuck's sake.

Well,

it's mathematically, it's a hologram.

And Hold on, is this game on the Switch?

No, no, you need to get an Xbox or a computer or a PlayStation.

I've got a PlayStation.

I've not played my PlayStation in months.

I wish

I bet much this game.

I'm watching Thor play Deliverance Kingdom Come.

Incredible game.

But I find all my instincts are very much against his.

So he's like, oh, I need to learn how to make a horseshoe better or something like that.

And I'm like, could you set fire to the houses and drive the wolves down from the hills and fucking eat them?

And and then kill the people yeah yeah and then kill the wolves yeah friend just always ignores me friend of the show ashley story and uh rosco mclelland have both told me that i should uh get red dead redemption oh red dead redemption too yes that's the one that they said and they said that it will like fucking during the fringe that'll just fucking chill you out because you've had so much going on you can just switch off

i mean it might also just make you really really sad it's such a sad game because he doesn't i suppose in some level he does find redemption but I never really do the missions though I just became like a kind of race warrior right I sort of started killing all the white people but without being caught myself so I'd fucking lasso them and I'd put them on the

railway line and stuff like that and I'd just fucking take it to Whitey yeah I'd take it yeah I'd just fucking stab them in the street and fucking but I totally undercover take it to fucking were you what I'd move from town to town and I'd see how big a tally I I could get.

Did you ever meet the New Orleans

vampire?

No, but I did get to New Orleans, but there's a vampire.

There's a vampire somewhere in New Orleans.

You need to go to the right bit at the right time and then

comes after you.

I just wasn't doing enough for the missions.

That's always my thing in these things.

I get very into killing cops in GTA 6 and I get or five.

But I will be in six.

Now there is a

now there's a conspiracy that you have access to GTA 6.

Me?

And you just let it slip there, you mean?

Yeah, never play the

missions in GTA 6.

I have access to the same things everybody else has access.

I don't know, like later this year, maybe.

They're not gonna, they're just waiting until it's done, which is smart, you know, as opposed to well, sometimes they release a game before it's done and you pay 80 quid and they go,

we didn't really finish it.

And then you'd keep downloading updates.

So Cyberpunk 2077, that was released and they had not finished making it.

I had some thoughts about what my style will be on GTA 6.

I think I'm going to kidnap cops if that's possible and I'm going to get kill them and put petrol on the ground and spell the word love and have the cop in the O of love and set fire to it.

That's a beautiful thing.

Phone my wife for lover or whatever I have in this team, husband, maybe I'm a woman.

Yeah, it's about a couple, I think.

All right, well I'll phone my husband and go.

I'll see how much Italy I can get of love cops.

In the O?

In the O.

Wow.

That's cool.

Yeah, I've seen it too.

It looks quite good.

It makes you proud to be Scottish at game.

Makes you proud to have been in Dundee at some point.

Seven fire to prostitutes

shooting at people, robbing stuff.

I had this joking column somewhere fucking years ago going, you know, 700%

robbing people, shooting people for no reason.

Where does this Dundee-based

software developer get his ideas from?

Yeah.

My pat went to Dundee recently and was just absolutely shocked by it.

Like the change?

No, I just outshit it once.

Oh.

Tell them that this is it on the up.

So this is hipster Dundee.

They yelling whack it up.

I

say, listen, it was a different place ten years ago, and it was even worse before then.

This is it on the on the up.

It's a pretty interesting place.

Certainly, yeah, I never have to go back.

Yeah, you two can hedge your bets.

I liked it.

The Mexican food scene there is surprisingly competitive.

And

I like that hotel that kind of overlooks a water park, and you can kind of watch people drown.

What hotel is that?

It's like called like the wolf park or something and it's like a little kind of

like what's that called?

Fucking paint in here you can't

fucking

Mexican food fucking wolf park

It's like a wakeboarding center or something there's all these ramps and floatable obstacle courses and you and all your friends get on wetsuits and scamper about the water and you can sit up in your hotel room and look down at them sipping a

daiquiri a daiquiri, perhaps a canned daiquiri from the local Tesco with your robe open, looking down at these drowning people.

It's fantastic way to spend a day and didn't do

wow,

yo, there's weird dark places in your brain just now, man.

I am I'm worried about just a painting for me, fuck anyway.

Ren was painting

string theory, my friend.

This is the first time we've all had a girlfriend.

We said this before simultaneously.

Has it maybe degraded their urge to create passer?

Do you know what I mean?

Do you think it's getting used up?

Got getting used up at home?

No.

I find I've got a patter limit at home.

What does that mean?

There's only so much she wants to hear from me.

I don't have to shut the fuck up.

It's very subtle, but I can I can take a hint.

I uh

yeah, I've had that my whole life.

In my relationships, maybe I've got two or three of marriages, who knows?

Some people really don't want you to talk during a film or a thing at all, and that annoys me.

It annoys you, but

whenever somebody talks to me during it, I'm like, please be quiet, this is you breaking the rules.

No, I'm going to pray social contract.

Right, so here's my situation with that, right?

If somebody's got a question or something,

and they're like, what about that?

And I go, all right, that or that.

I'm fine with it, right?

But question about?

Well, if you're maybe watching something, they're like, oh, wait a minute.

Is that him failure?

Is he bad?

Do you know what I hate?

I hate when you're sitting watching something and somebody comes in, they go, Oh, wait till I tell you, and they talk utter, inane shite about something that you don't have anything to do with.

And I just think,

oh, god, just fuck off.

And then someone talks to me during the film, I go, Posey film.

What was it?

I know I do that.

Play to film.

I do that.

The director doesn't want this to be interrupted by

I do that.

I'll put a pause it.

If somebody talks to me, I'll pause it.

I'm just finding I'm just sitting on gold though.

Do you know what I mean?

I'm just going to forget this gold.

Did you take it apart?

Perhaps addictive phone.

Speak to the dictaphone.

I've already learned.

I've already switched it off, man.

You've already.

But you're still relatively new.

I know that we're all in kind of new situations, but yours is like really new.

It's not that new.

Well,

new enough and a

consistency level.

Yeah.

So that's you know, that shouldn't be happening.

The patience is already

people have

you've got to learn how people want to be treated.

And part of that is some people are happy to hear a witticism

during an episode of Lena Dunham's Girls.

Other people would rather you waited until uh the end.

Maybe a break.

Yeah.

How is it flashes up girls?

How is Lena Dunham's Girls?

Fantastic, I love it, man.

It's really good.

Really good show.

The bit where uh he pees on her and she's like, Hey, don't do that.

It's pretty good.

I cried when I watched that episode where the the guy's like, what's his name, Ray?

It's a shame about Ray, the it's his Lemonhead song reference.

It's about this kind of he's like a 40-year-old kind of coffee shop guy and he always wanted to get involved in comedy or something.

And he's he's he's just like uh he's got all these kind of young friends who are like rich and he works in the he owns a coffee shop that they're working or something.

And his life's just shite and he just basically has a breakdown on the ferry.

And Adam Drivers kinda has to like comfort him but he's obviously an autistic legend.

He can't actually do that.

And

I remember crying watching that going, that'll be me.

I'll be fucking

always wishing I'd tried stand-up or something.

This is before I did stand-up.

Yeah, it cures you of that.

Now I'm like, I wish I had any other skill.

I wish I'd spent 12 years doing anything else.

Wow.

She's got a new show coming out.

Yeah, I don't know.

Set in London.

Because she lives in London.

Does she really?

Yeah.

You never see her at the old.

You never see her about fucking top secret.

So ho,

she's she's not exactly Bill Nye you know who you always see kick about you do always see kicking about I've seen Bill Nye in the past three times up in London it's a bad man get you a house bill

fucking hell man I disfranchise disappearance

it's no harm

they're all just cuttings it's the hologram it was a big uh it was a big night last night in Glasgow in terms of music industry you had Kendrick Lamar and Scissor

at Cramden Park you had a kneecap at the the O2 Academy after being pulled from the

transmit lineup.

And then Bill Callahan was at the St.

Luke's.

Something for everybody.

And Billie Eilish.

And Billie Eilish.

And fucking Alanis Morissette.

Yeah, Billie Eilish was at the Hydro, and Alanis Morrisett had been there two nights before.

Oh, I see.

I see.

Oh, what was that?

That explains all the.

I seen a lot of like dads and teenage daughters going down to the hydro, and I thought, are they all going to see Alanis Morissette?

They were all going to Billy Eiley, so they queued, they were queuing, and I was down that way a Sunday and Monday, and all the kids were queuing from about 11 o'clock in the morning.

And I remember thinking, Oh fuck, man, I'm so glad I'm past all that.

And then I remembered I'm going to see Oasis on Friday.

But I was just going queue overnight and I didn't know.

No, fuck no.

But I've seen them all queuing, and I was just, I kind of was like, Do you know what?

There's something really quite old-fashioned about that.

You know, I mean, that those kids are just dying to get down the front and they want to be there, and that just doesn't fucking happen anymore.

And I thought, do you know what?

Fair play, man, enjoy it.

Go and fucking have a great time.

And all the kids were all, it was a real mixed bag of ages, but they were all like dressed like her and stuff like that.

And I was just like, I hope you have the fucking best time.

And they all appear to have, because I've seen it in socials, people going, what a concert that was.

I'd, you know, my kids had a great time and stuff.

You just go, that's decent, innit?

That's it.

I've only recently engaged with Billie Eilish's work.

I enjoyed it.

Yeah,

she's thought about about ASMR.

She's thought about how it sounds in your headphones.

And she's thought about the drop, you know.

Yeah.

And

the production.

There's a lot of how did, speaking of

I was Lanado Ray.

Lanada Ray was fantastic.

This was built up in your mind.

Yeah.

And heart for what I would say months and months and months and months.

You've been talking about Lana Dow Ray.

We got dressed up.

Yeah.

We went to see Lana.

The guy beside me, a bit too much of a fan

of me.

But was fine.

You know, we had a chat.

I thought you meant big fan of Lana.

They were screaming the lyrics.

I think he said to me something like, Did you get dragged along here as well?

And I was fucking affronted.

Like, no.

Quite the opposite.

Well, he obviously doesn't listen to this fucking podcast.

Well, exactly, like a lot of people.

And

there were, I think Christopher wouldn't have loved the crowd they were quite sing-alongy

I'm a singer

yeah um but

a lot of young women and a lot of

dads and old mothers and stuff a really broad broad kind of base of people

um but

couldn't he get an Oprah up there can he drive

tried to book a back black cab couldn't he get a black cab?

Had to get my 81-year-old da to drive us up there and drive us back.

And as Susie said, it was like a proper wee guy going on a date.

Wee guy date.

Is that the first time you go for anything like your dad?

Yes, I love that.

I love it.

It's like, duh, duh.

Any chance you can take us up to the concert and come back and get us.

Duh.

I love that.

I love that.

But I mean,

was it a fun experience overall?

I had she had like the full house on a stage.

I enjoyed it.

There was a thing in the Irish Times where they went, This isn't enough for your show, it's 14 songs or whatever, and she didn't dance about or whatever.

You're like, She's a fucking poet.

Yeah, she's a fucking poet.

Springsteen, you're fucking lucky she's there.

She doesn't want to be there.

Do you know what I mean?

Enjoy it while you can.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Everybody now has got to be, you know, they show you these footballs.

They've got, this guy's 39 and he's not fucking Ronaldo still.

But you're like, not everybody has to be fucking Ronaldo.

Not everybody has to be the fucking Beatles, innit?

It's like that whole thing.

Also, as well, I don't

need them to have fucking 17 costume changes and fly through there and set off fucking fireworks.

If I'm there for your music, I want to hear your music, not fucking see you in a ball gown.

Yeah, it was decent.

It was a decent show

from someone who's obviously not designed really to go and play fucking stadiums.

No, you know, it's quiet, poetic, fragile music.

She's a shantrus.

Yeah.

I've seen a lot of people on the way to Hamden yesterday.

A lot of, shall we say, white people wearing do-rags.

Lucky they're not in fucking Red Dead Redemption 2.

They'd be getting a lasso.

Lasso.

They're like, oh, they're on the fucking line at Langsite.

Agreed.

Was this for the Kendrick Lamar?

I was like, where are these people going?

I thought it was like a fancy dress thing because they were all wearing like green basketball jerseys and like green bandanas and stuff like that.

But I was like, where are you going?

And then I remember Dark Hendricks says our plane.

The other day, or the other week, the Orange Walk was out in Glasgow, but it also clashed with Comic-Con.

So there was lots of furries

about.

So you had the oranges and then you had the furries.

And I understood what the fuck.

because you explained it to me on this very podcast.

Ah, you told me about the furries.

This is bear on bear.

That was bear on bear.

Broxy the bear could probably have been both.

Yeah.

Well, you could walk from one community right into the other.

Could you come on Broxy?

Why not?

You can come on anything.

I know, but would actually would you?

I don't know.

Also, could you?

I feel I would be like, would you rather come on Broxy Bear or Hoopie?

I don't hinder.

Oh my god.

Actually, it depends who who was inside.

It would depend who was inside the costume.

Really?

I see through the fur.

I see through the fur at the person inside.

On a literal level, you quite literally blink.

Yeah.

I suppose that's kind of part of the appeal for them is that I could be anybody in here.

It's like being a gimp on some level.

But you're in a furry costume.

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, listen, I've got friends in both camps.

I don't, it doesn't, you know.

I'm on a team Wario.

Oh, fucking, that's more upsetting than Brock says Mario's Super Strikers for the Nintendo GameCube.

I might have a wheelock and see if I can get a Nintendo Switch 2, do you know that?

And take it to Edinburgh with me.

Maybe that would be like what the huddle.

You huddle around the mascot and fucking wine go back.

A biki huddle.

Oh, fucking hell.

Well, like adult football, you know, they're always looking for new revenue streams.

Have like a nick game, starts at midnight and they're huddle and they're all just wanking over fucking.

A 10-minute free,

But then it's on sports scene, it's part of the regular.

Welcome, we've got a feast of football tonight, including Dundee United V Folkerk and the Bukhaki.

The Murray Jaggies are here.

I cannot wait till they

create it on the big fucking screen and they're like so the Bukhaki.

This is where it really started from.

Listen, if you look at the angle it came in from,

this is textbook.

He's standing on the screen.

He's only getting the distance that what the pros will get, you know, so you know, you kind of basically let it drip it.

Oh my god.

Oh my fucking god.

Now we're talking, eh?

Who says a part of strider?

Just been sick in my mouth a little bit.

Please fucking parkhead fucking lights though man, the European night of the porn would be amazing.

And the competition from Germany.

Yeah.

And fucking Disneyland.

Disneyland would be a big player in this fucking league.

Jesus Christ.

Thank you.

Jesus Christ.

It's been a minute, Cartoony.

It's been great.

Popeye.

Popeye.

Popeye's.

What was happening with him?

He was being

all of a

sudden.

He's the fucking one massive arm from his football career.

I mean, it must must have been some kind of fucking buff defect to be a farms like that.

It did not look good.

That's not a sign of a healthy man.

Can I just check?

Have you had Popeyes chicken?

Yeah.

Is it nice?

Do you know?

I think it's a wee bit like,

do you know when people used to be like, oh, you need to go to Canada and have Tim Hortons?

You know, it's incredible.

Then it comes over here and like

they have the same

suppliers as like Gregg's or something so

you're not excited to go to Greg's just part of your daily life.

Whereas Hank, you would always go, Oh, I'd love to.

I wonder what Popeyes would taste like.

You see it in films and stuff, and now it's here, and it's like it's fine, but you know, it's nothing compared to fucking

like Bucks Bar or something.

Just wondering, yeah, just

always wanted to know, just another fresh

chain.

Most people won't have got past the football mascot Bukaki chat to get that quite serious chicken mouse.

Chicken mouse

is

a serious issue for me, man.

It's a serious issue.

You know, it's just like you travel and you see every city, and every size get the same fucking shite.

And it's just your whole life has just been controlled by these massive corporations, unfeeling, uncaring.

They treat their workers like shite, they treat you like shite.

The shiteification of life.

And then you just look at like small local companies and you think, can they support you in some sense?

Christopher Trotsky, MacArthur Boyder.

One day, global media player

yeah

but then i mean it's it's like if you support a local business too much it will become a monster you know i used to go to mackey and ramen when there's three or four mackey and rammons in edinburgh now there's one in leeds in manchester london three in glasgow now there's like nine in edinburgh and the you know the standard slipped i'll be honest with you i just don't get enough chicken noodle soup in my life and i feel that i go to these places thinking I'll be able to get chicken noodle soup.

It's a Chinese dish.

Oh tell you when I got Chinese uh chicken noodle soup the other day

the Savoy Centre shop

in the Savoy Centre Centre in the karate shop.

No they have a Chinese in there now

and everything is like

the Soviet Union in there now.

All the signs on the shops are the same.

They're on the same font right

it's all been done the same way and you can get a Chinese right at the doorway.

And the

what's she called?

The fortune teller.

Yeah.

Kizzy.

Don't know if she's still kicking a bar, but her thing is still there.

And on the door, on the actual door, it's stenciled to £30 cash.

Right.

But I would like to get Kizzy, if you're out there, I'd like to get a psychic reading.

And it's still with the usual Savoy Centre Madness, but all it seems to be under one umbrella with the same font and it's almost like in a communist.

Yeah,

nice.

My dad is a

hairdresser, and he

has a scar on his thumb, like right across it, like a proper deep gash.

And it's like left.

And now his thumb is all his fingerprints have been burned off by the chemicals over the years.

They're like massion bleaching people's heads, so he doesn't have any fingerprints.

And his thumbs are like completely scarred to fuck.

So I think my dad maybe is responsible for a lot of the unsolved crimes in Glasgow.

My dad's pinky.

it's like, yeah, yeah.

Oh, that's the hairdressing.

Got rid of them fingerprints.

You know,

with a hairdresser, there's no having fingerprints.

You know, you often see on CSI, the guy obviously wore gloves.

I was a hairdresser.

He was a hairdresser.

He was fairly well known for his tint jobs.

Fuck's sake.

There was a hitman in Glasgow who used to come in, shoot a person, and then he'd get a bag of hair from a barber's and throw it about the place to fuck up all their DNA.

True.

They look like me, but like 30 years old.

Wow.

You think it's a time travel thing?

No, I don't know.

Well, maybe, do you know what I mean?

I mean, I think my stand-up career's kind of ran its course.

Maybe I should get into

murder and kind of wet work, I think it's called in the industry.

Become a wet worker.

Wow.

We've certainly killed off the careers of a few people associated with this podcast.

Yeah, including our own.

I can.

Hey, how you doing?

Pruduous Andy here.

Thank you for listening to another episode of Here Comes the Guillotine with Frankie Boyle, Susie McCabe, and Christopher MacArthur Boyd.

Susie and Christopher are playing Edinburgh Fringe this summer, so if you want to head along, head to their socials for more information.

You can get all the episodes of Here Comes the Guillotine on Global Player right now.

Search for Global Player on your app store or go to globalplayer.com.

This is a Global Player Original Podcast.