Patreon Preview #350: The Beak & Bones Society

Speaker 2 Whoa, guys, that recording was crazy. We played all sorts of characters and my brain's like, wee whoa, wee whoa, wow, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 2 I need to find a way to unwind what to do, what to do, what to do.

Speaker 1 Aaron, you are not wrong. That last recording that we did for the podcast, Hey, Riddle, Riddle, was a doozy.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I sort of, I sort of like tweaked my back playing Kung Fu Shrimp.
Remember that character, Kung Fu Shrimp?

Speaker 1 I sort of threw my back out so i'm looking for like a natural way to like relieve aches and discomfort um you know i'm not as young as i once was um but yeah maybe oh maybe like cornbread hemp cbd gummies right i feel like that's been a huge piece of my wellness plan recently cornbread hemp cbd gummies are made to help you feel better whether it's stress discomfort or just needing a little relaxation They only use the best part of the hemp plant, the flower, for the purest and most potent CBD.

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Speaker 1 what is it kung fu shrimp hello i'm kung fu shrimp everyone um let's uh uh uh chop these boards adle you're gonna really hurt yourself the surf boards

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Speaker 1 All right, guys, it's

Speaker 1 just about.

Speaker 2 As you can see, I'm on the couch. My feet are up.
I'm on my phone. I'm drinking a Mai Thai.
Gentlemen, I'm actually done with my Christmas shopping, so I don't need to go with you today.

Speaker 1 Well, that's my couch, and you spilled a lot of Mai Thai on it.

Speaker 2 I know. I got everyone an aura frame for Christmas.
So yeah, I'm actually all done. I did a perfect job.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were actually going to shop for Adel's new couch today because you keep spilling Mai Thai's. We're all saying the same thing.
Well, wait, JP.

Speaker 1 Sorry, Aaron, did you say an aura frame? Mm-hmm. I am obsessed with aura frames.
They're the perfect gift for anyone in your life. I have my own.

Speaker 1 I also gave my mom one, and they have a really cool thing where you can share photos to each other's frames. And we have such a laugh just dropping in fun little photos.

Speaker 1 You can honestly also preload photos before it even ships, and you can keep adding them from anywhere, anytime.

Speaker 1 I love it because I can always send up-to-date photos of my child to my family members, Aura Frames. And preloaded photos can still make you happy.

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Speaker 1 Support our show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply.

Speaker 2 Take a photo of me drinking in my Ty and Adel's couch and then put it on the aura frame.

Speaker 1 Oh. This is actually for evidence, Erin.

Speaker 2 Oh, good.

Speaker 1 Jeez.

Speaker 1 It's funny, I'm always thinking about it this time of year, but I'm not as young as I once was.

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Speaker 1 It's so funny, I have no idea why it gets to be this time of year, and I'm thinking about how I'm not as young as I once was. Oh, same girl saying, but also, JPC, your birthday's in December.

Speaker 1 Okay, that makes sense. Well, JPC,

Speaker 1 someone left something under the tree

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Speaker 2 John Travolta.

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Speaker 1 That's cornbreadhemp.com/slash riddle and use code riddle. Ah, age is nothing but a number.
A number of years I've been on earth. Years are also nothing but physical manifestations of time passing.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 I feel okay. I feel okay.

Speaker 1 About two minutes till midnight, so when we get in there,

Speaker 1 just remember.

Speaker 1 Just remember that I'm the one.

Speaker 1 So my cousin was a Beacon Bones member, and so he's the one who got us this

Speaker 1 chance to join the society. But remember, it's a secret society, so you can't tell anyone about tonight.
Be cool. Don't be weird.

Speaker 2 Unrelated, how do you delete a tweet?

Speaker 2 And a thread.

Speaker 1 I know how to delete an X. I don't know how to delete a tweet, Aaron.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, then fine. I'll just leave it.

Speaker 1 No one's on there anymore, so I'll just leave it. If it's secret,

Speaker 1 how did you find out your cousin was in it?

Speaker 1 Do you get like a limited invite, like a limited number of invites? Like, it's secret. Obviously, it's secret, but like, I can type Raya.

Speaker 1 Oh, great. So, like, once I'm on, I can.

Speaker 1 Clever. Wink.
Yeah. Wink.
I have to assume. Wink.

Speaker 2 Adult,

Speaker 2 I'm excited. I just feel like, I've already been feeling like really rejected lately.
Like I've never been in a secret society before or a club, really.

Speaker 2 And I'm just scared that you guys are going to be let in and not me.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I mean, we could maybe say something up top of like, it's all three of us or nobody.

Speaker 2 Can we please?

Speaker 1 I was under the impression that we were doing this as a podcast. It was like a package deal.
Are we all applying for individual membership into the Beacon Bone Society? That's how it usually goes.

Speaker 1 I mean, think of like Freemasons or like the Oddfellows. Like, um, well, fuck, I don't want to do that.
I don't want to be in if you guys aren't going to be in. Can you cancel?

Speaker 1 Are you being sarcastic? No, guys, it's midnight. We got it.
We got to get inside. We got to get inside.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Is there a special password? Do we knock?

Speaker 1 Yes. One second.

Speaker 1 Cousin.

Speaker 1 Oh, the door opened. Oh.

Speaker 1 Welcome.

Speaker 1 Welcome in, please.

Speaker 1 Stand in the grand hall.

Speaker 1 For I am the grand raven,

Speaker 1 the leader of beacon bones.

Speaker 1 Oh, I dropped the can. I dropped the can and it's echoing.

Speaker 1 What was that?

Speaker 1 Aaron, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 What did you drop? Tuna can. It was in my back pocket.
I forgot I was there.

Speaker 1 Did someone drop something that stinks?

Speaker 1 An open, was it an open tuna can? What do you mean you forgot about it? I was eating tuna with my hands on my walk here, and then I put it in my back pocket and it it clams on the ground.

Speaker 1 10 seconds into like the big intro for the night.

Speaker 2 I kicked the tuna can a little bit over so it's in front of another guy.

Speaker 1 You put an open, an open tuna can into your pocket? I'm hearing a lot of chatter. Fuck Aaron.

Speaker 1 Please. Sorry, I kicked the tuna can.

Speaker 2 He's gonna think it's that guy. Shh, shh, shh, shh, guys.

Speaker 1 Just just shh. Who dropped the can? Was it you?

Speaker 1 Was it you?

Speaker 2 Not me. That guy right over there.

Speaker 1 You out.

Speaker 1 Ouch.

Speaker 2 Oh, God, I'm just another guy that's getting thrown out. Oh, I didn't drop the kudot!

Speaker 2 I'm the allergic defend!

Speaker 1 He

Speaker 1 will not be a beacon bones.

Speaker 1 They wrenched his arm and they kicked him out. Yeah, they tugged at his shirt pretty hard.
Did I kill that guy? He might be dead. They tugged his shirt so hard.

Speaker 1 You'd have to tug somebody's shirt really hard to kill them.

Speaker 1 Sorry about the long gaps in between me talking. Again, I am the Grand Raven,

Speaker 1 and tonight shall be unlike any other night you've known. 200 people here.
Is someone talking?

Speaker 1 You!

Speaker 1 Well, I start clapping. Clap.

Speaker 1 Woo! Good job, man. Hey, good job.
Yeah, it's a different generation.

Speaker 1 Kyle, turn out the lights. Like six people in the group start moving to go turn out the lights.

Speaker 1 Ah, spooky stuff.

Speaker 2 Lots of Kyles here.

Speaker 1 Lots of Kyles here. Are you a Kyle?

Speaker 1 Oh, Aaron. He's pointing right to you.
Oh, my God. Sorry, the light.
Turn the lights on.

Speaker 2 Another can of tuna falls out of my back pocket. Flangs.
I kick it over to another guy.

Speaker 2 Uh, no, my name's um uh uh uh Aaron.

Speaker 1 Aaron, my name's Aaron.

Speaker 2 Aaron. And it's been a lifelong dream to be in Beacon Bones, sir.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 The best avian-themed secret club this side of the Mississippi.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Yes, those hollow bones, they do not know how to run a secret society.

Speaker 2 They don't know. Those hollow bone guys don't get it, huh?

Speaker 1 In Surfay May, I've always wanted to meet a woman, Kyle.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. I've heard that was an option.
I've just never met one. Oh.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 well,

Speaker 1 yeah, most of the women Kyles are Kylies.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. Oh.

Speaker 2 There's Kyle Richards on the Real Housewives.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so there are, there are female, there are women Kyles, and so I've always... Oh, correct him.

Speaker 1 You want me to say that

Speaker 1 Denise Richards is on the...

Speaker 1 Oh, what was her name in the Bond movies? It was like...

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Laggy Christmas. Christmas Jones.
That's so weird.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that is weird.

Speaker 1 Well, Kyle, turn the lights off. When I say Dr.
Christmas Jones, two people grab me and usher me into a different room. Oh, my gosh!

Speaker 2 Oh, JPC!

Speaker 1 JPC, I don't think I'm being thrown out. Guys, find me!

Speaker 2 I reach at him and sort of try to grasp, but he's gone.

Speaker 2 Uh, Mr.

Speaker 2 Head had um Grand Raven. Grand Raven.

Speaker 1 Sort of hard to remember a name when the sort of uptop work was talked over, huh?

Speaker 2 Yeah, a lot of people were pretty rude.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 A lot of people were pretty rude with all that tuna business.

Speaker 1 Hard to build a house on a shaky foundation, right?

Speaker 2 Totally.

Speaker 2 Grand Raven, sir,

Speaker 2 we are but a humble podcast. We are but three.

Speaker 1 You're not recording, are you? No, of course not.

Speaker 2 Of course not. We would never do that without having you sign a sort of a release.

Speaker 2 We would like to be a part of the society, society, but we would like to do it together, sir.

Speaker 2 So no disrespect if you end up going in a different direction, but we want to sort of. Actually, Adel and I would like to stick together.
JPC would be a fun bonus.

Speaker 1 But if he asked,

Speaker 1 we'd settle them. Yeah.
Exactly. Let it be known.
Kyle, take note.

Speaker 1 It's all or nothing for these three.

Speaker 1 For the two.

Speaker 2 For the two. And then the third is like

Speaker 2 hypothetically would be nice, but not 100% necessary.

Speaker 1 Aaron, I'm being dragged to a different room. I don't hear me say anything.
Tell my story.

Speaker 1 I don't remember it.

Speaker 2 I forgot to ask what his story was. I'm a really bad friend and a really bad listener.

Speaker 1 Oh, what was his story? Hey, do you want to join our group?

Speaker 1 Oh, hi. Yeah, a young woman.
I'm sorry. Yeah.
I missed your name. Kyle? No, it's Aaron.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Kyle.
Oh, hi, Kyle. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I was sort of hoping I'd be dragged off to a different room. This sort of feels like I'm with.

Speaker 1 I don't want to be with the rejects in the main space.

Speaker 1 I mean, most of us, the majority of us, are in the main space.

Speaker 2 Right, but I feel like, you know, in like Sleep No More, some people get a special treatment where they get like pulled onto an elevator with a woman. They get their own little special experience.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm going to sort of hold out for that.

Speaker 1 No, I. Okay.
Well, I just heard that you say you were with a podcast. My friend and I are also with a podcast.
Oh, what pod?

Speaker 1 We do a Kyle XY recap podcast.

Speaker 1 It's kind of a fun format. I'm a person who has seen every episode of Kyle XY, and this is my co-host, Alan.
And Alan...

Speaker 2 I walk over to a chalkboard that says it's been eight days since we've mentioned Kyle XY in the podcast, and I erase it and say zero.

Speaker 1 Alan is my like comedy partner, like old comedy partner when we used to do comedy, and he has never heard of Kyle XY and

Speaker 1 doesn't retain any information about Kyle XY. So it's like a, it's like a, yeah, it's like a combination.
Grandhog's Day meets Kyle XY. Whatever that is.
It's called Kyle X. Y Hog's Day.

Speaker 2 Great. I don't really listen to podcasts, but I'll give it a five-star review.

Speaker 1 Whoa, no. Yeah.
We were kind of inviting you if you want to be in on our thing.

Speaker 1 We're going to be Beacon Bones. I'm going to sit down, crisscross.
Alan's dad was beacon bones. I know we're not supposed to say, but Alan's dad was beacon bones.
So we're kind of like.

Speaker 1 Oh, Nepo, Nepo. Okay, cool.
Yeah, I'll latch on to a well, not Nepo. Sorry, Sorry, not Nepo.
Oh, brother. Just so happens that

Speaker 1 I probably qualify to also be.

Speaker 2 Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And they're in different industries.

Speaker 2 They want to even bring it up, though. You know what I mean? No.

Speaker 1 He's a legacy.

Speaker 1 It's different from Nepo. Nepo is the same industry.
Legacy is

Speaker 1 he's legacy.

Speaker 2 Of course.

Speaker 1 Welcome, John Patrick Cohen. Please, shed your clothes.
Way ahead of you.

Speaker 2 Shed your clothes.

Speaker 1 Shed your clothes and lay down in the nest. Do I put him here in this paper shedder or?

Speaker 2 Whoa, what is going on with that tattoo?

Speaker 1 Oh, you have a discerning eye. Tell us the backstory.
Not a tattoo, it's actually a birthmark.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the doctor slapped my little hiney so hard when I came out.

Speaker 1 Put your clothes back on.

Speaker 1 I've already shedded them. I've already put them in this shedder.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm going to hand them to you.

Speaker 2 Put something on. Well, they're shedded.

Speaker 1 They're in tatters.

Speaker 2 Can we get him a sheet or something?

Speaker 1 Let's get him like a blanket or something. Yeah.
One, two, three, four, hate Riddle Riddles Clue Crew.

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Speaker 4 What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

Speaker 5 And Hannah Simone.

Speaker 4 And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now, here's the thing.
Every single week we chat about an episode of New Girl and we really get into it.

Speaker 6 Like we get up in there. We get up in there.

Speaker 4 You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes tea.
We react to re-watching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog f ⁇ ing.

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