#383: Don't Tell!

Speaker 1 This is a head gum podcast.

Speaker 2 Whoa, guys, that recording was crazy. We played all sorts of characters, and my brain's like, wee whoa, wee whoa, wow, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 2 I need to find a way to unwind what to do, what to do, what to do.

Speaker 3 Aaron, you are not wrong. That last recording that we did for the podcast, Hey Riddle, Riddle, was a doozy.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. I sort of, I sort of like tweaked my back playing Kung Fu Shrimp.
Remember that character, Kung Fu Shrimp? I sort of threw my back out.

Speaker 3 So I'm looking for like a natural way to like relieve aches and discomfort.

Speaker 3 You know, I'm not as young as I once was.

Speaker 3 Yeah, maybe, oh, maybe like cornbread hemp CBD gummies. Right.

Speaker 3 I feel like that's been a huge piece of my wellness plan recently.

Speaker 2 Cornbread hemp CBD gummies are made to help you feel better, whether it's stress, discomfort, or just needing a little relaxation.

Speaker 3 They only use the best part of the hemp plant, the flower, for the purest and most potent CBD. Oh, yeah, cornbread hemp.
That's right.

Speaker 3 They're CBD gummies, and all of their products are third-party lab-tested and USDA organic to ensure safety and purity.

Speaker 3 Now I know exactly what you guys are talking about, and I feel like I can really participate. Perfect.

Speaker 2 Right now, Hey Riddle Riddle listeners can save 30% off their first order. Just head to cornbreadhemp.com slash riddle and use code RIDDLE at checkout.

Speaker 2 That's cornbreadhemp.com slash riddle and use code riddle, r-i-d-d-l-e.

Speaker 3 Don't just take it from us. Take it from

Speaker 3 what is it, kung fu shrimp? Hello, I'm kung fu shrimp. Uh, everyone, um, let's uh uh uh chop these boards.

Speaker 2 Addle, you're gonna really hurt yourself.

Speaker 3 The surf boards, DD,

Speaker 3 oh, he's back. Oh, he's back.

Speaker 3 Give me another gummy. Another gummy, please.

Speaker 3 Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just $8.

Speaker 3 Only at McDonald's. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary.
Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery.

Speaker 2 Okay, on your order, I have one hay and two riddles with ranch and a sprite. You can pull up to the first window.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 Maybe you didn't. Did you say Cranch?

Speaker 2 I said ranch.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 okay. Yeah, no, I probably wasn't enunciating what I ordered.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, we needed cranch.

Speaker 2 Sir, what is cranch?

Speaker 3 Can you give me one

Speaker 3 second to ask me what cranch is? That's the code, right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Did you hear like a second channel? Did she touch her nose or something? Well, it's over a speaker. I don't actually, I don't know if they're touching their nose or not.
It's over a speaker.

Speaker 2 Sir, the line's pretty long um so if you want to pull up to that first window uh

Speaker 3 yeah

Speaker 3 yeah but we just really want to make sure we we we need the cranch

Speaker 3 on the on the hey riddle riddle cranch we need cranch cranch extra cranch not extra cranch i'm not made of money oh so what could cranch be it's probably ranch with something in it is there like another is there like a is there like a second part to the code that i need to know about the eagle flies at dawn but that's supposed to be after they respond to Cranch.

Speaker 3 I'll pepper it in now. Excuse me, I figured out what's in Cranch.

Speaker 2 Sure.

Speaker 3 The eagle flies at dawn. Nice, subtle.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 You want to add the eagle burger to your

Speaker 3 order?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I want to try it. I want to try that.

Speaker 2 That's the most American thing on the menu. Never mind.

Speaker 2 Would you like to supersize that?

Speaker 3 Oh, you do supersize at this restaurant too?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 When we supersize the eagle burger, it's just we do the full bird between two buns. Sometimes it's still alive.

Speaker 3 On the menu, it said supper size. Is that because of like

Speaker 3 legal threats?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we are not allowed to after McDonald's.

Speaker 3 Infringement. Yeah, yeah.
You can spell it however you want, but you can still call it super size.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, unless any narcs come through here and try to tell on me. Can you pull up to the window, sir? I think you got to pay.
You're holding up the line.

Speaker 3 I think the mention of narc is part of the code. I think, fuck.
I think they are.

Speaker 2 You guys, can I make a wild guess? There's been a bunch of spies that have been pulling up to this window online. Whoa, what?

Speaker 3 You are at the wrong.

Speaker 2 It is. You want Wendy's.

Speaker 2 This is Hayriddle Riddle. That is three doors down.
You want the Wendy's. That's where all the spies are meeting up.

Speaker 3 This is three doors down. Hit it, Adult.

Speaker 3 Never read a Riddle Rhine Bear. No, that's Nickelback.

Speaker 3 Get out of the line.

Speaker 3 Sorry. Yeah, we'll pull forward.

Speaker 3 Wow, which one is three doors doors down?

Speaker 3 Oh, if I go crazy, then we'll be

Speaker 3 super married.

Speaker 3 You're brilliant. My mind wanted to say, this is the story of a girl who credited river and down the whole world.
I don't think that's three doors down.

Speaker 3 And while she looks so good in photographs, I absolutely love it when she.

Speaker 2 When she's mom.

Speaker 3 We still might be in the 30 days in the year.

Speaker 3 I don't know if we could ever find out who sings that song.

Speaker 3 But that's okay because we don't need to know. And I'm okay going the rest of my life not knowing who sings that song.

Speaker 2 Guys, I'm working on the best of episodes for this year. And at the beginning of this year, we promised that we wouldn't do a impression of the person that sings

Speaker 2 might as well be what?

Speaker 3 Lynn. It's it's Lynn.
It's the band Lynn. We're not allowed to.
Have we made it the whole year?

Speaker 3 Wait, what do you,

Speaker 3 what are you saying?

Speaker 2 In an early episode, we said that we were banned from doing an impression of Lynn.

Speaker 3 Is that who it is? Yes, the band Lynn. Oh, I thought you said might as well be walking on the sub.

Speaker 2 Isn't that

Speaker 3 Smash Mouth, right? That's Smash Mouth, Aaron. Then what the fuck am I doing?

Speaker 3 I thought Erin was saying that so she could avoid singing the song that Lynn sings.

Speaker 2 What is the song that Lynn sings?

Speaker 3 So, Aaron, I happen to know because I also just listened to this episode. Because while I'm not doing the best of, I am doing the out of context clip bracket again this year.
And I was.

Speaker 2 That should have, you should have done the best of, so we both didn't have to.

Speaker 3 We're doing a lot of duplicate work.

Speaker 3 A lot of duplicate work.

Speaker 2 What's the song?

Speaker 3 Well, I know the song, Aaron, but you're not going to get me on the year that we banned Lynn from the podcast. No,

Speaker 3 what was it?

Speaker 3 I don't know. Hey, nice try, asshole.
It's not happening.

Speaker 3 We also in that episode, we mentioned how we were like not going to Google. Aaron was like, let's just say we're not going to Google for a month.
And I was insistent on it being the whole year.

Speaker 3 And we've Googled a thousand times this year. Yeah.

Speaker 3 We love knowledge.

Speaker 3 Because we love knowledge and we love seeking it out.

Speaker 2 Absolutely. We are on week two of episodes where I have not slept.
For me, it's only been a couple hours. For you guys, it is going to be weeks and weeks and weeks.

Speaker 3 Well, wait, are we

Speaker 3 think we're recording like six more episodes today? Maybe she hasn't slept. Maybe this is like a side effect.

Speaker 3 Well, should we do some riddles to get Erin a little wakey wakey?

Speaker 3 Do you think that that will

Speaker 3 do that? Let's do some riddles.

Speaker 2 Do they have eggs and bakey in them? Because I'm very hungry.

Speaker 3 I do think Wakey Wakey, eggs and bakey is an underused phrase or song.

Speaker 3 Let's start with,

Speaker 3 we'll do some trios. We've done some of these before, so I'm going to give you three things you have to tell me what they have in common.
Aaron's eyes are closed. She's asleep.

Speaker 3 I can see her eyes are closed.

Speaker 2 No, remember, it's my branding. I close my eyes when I listen to riddles.
Go back and do your homework for the show's lore.

Speaker 3 I I guess it's appropriate branding, but on a day when you haven't slept, I know my eyelids felt so heavy, and I really found, I really felt so nice for a second to close my eyes.

Speaker 3 All right, Adel, I'm ready.

Speaker 3 And we go inside Erin's dream while she's closing her eyes. Hey, Aaron, here's your riddle.

Speaker 3 What does a big plate of French toast, and you don't get sick from it,

Speaker 3 a massage just for you and your dog? And

Speaker 3 JPC, what's another thing Aaron would want? Like, um,

Speaker 3 you know, how there's like a thing with like Hitman where they're like, I don't do women, I don't do kids.

Speaker 3 Do you think there's like a thing with Masusus where they're like, I don't do women, I don't do dogs?

Speaker 3 Why are they so

Speaker 2 every dream? I have is these two guys just chatting with each other.

Speaker 3 Aaron, Aaron, wake up, Aaron, wake up, wake up. I said the riddle.
Did you want to try and solve it?

Speaker 3 Toaster.

Speaker 3 So close. I'll read read it again.
It was Cylon era. This is three things you have to tell me what they have in common.
The Tropicana Corporation,

Speaker 3 an accordion player, an Anaconda.

Speaker 3 They all squeeze professionally.

Speaker 3 Yes. They all squeeze.

Speaker 2 Thank God you went first.

Speaker 2 Thank God you went first. I will thank God every day for you going first.

Speaker 3 I always think of it because it's that song that my Tropicana don't want none unless you've got buns, huh?

Speaker 3 I do want to see a scene. Yep.
The two of you are employees at Tropicana.

Speaker 3 Aaron, it is your first day on the job, and JPC is teaching you how to squeeze the oranges.

Speaker 3 So this press fits 1,000 oranges. Now, it doesn't have to be exact.
It just can't be more than 1,000 oranges. And you have to make sure your hands are clear of the machine.

Speaker 3 And then you just press here, and that starts the squeezing process.

Speaker 2 Totally. And when do you put the champagne in?

Speaker 3 Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, you're just party going.

Speaker 3 For sure. You're talking about mimosas.
And mimosas are, like the noble screwdriver, are a

Speaker 3 orange juice drink, but it's not a drink that we make at Tropicana. So, yeah, no champagne, no vodka.

Speaker 3 Although we do have a saying here,

Speaker 3 if you can tropa think it, you can tropicana do it.

Speaker 2 That's not very good, is it? Hey, man.

Speaker 3 The saying is not good. No, it's not, it's not very good.
It's good.

Speaker 2 You can drop a think it, you can drop a can of do it.

Speaker 2 And you know what I think we can do?

Speaker 2 I think we could be innovators here, man. And I think we could squeeze champagne bottles into this as well.

Speaker 3 That's something we can drop a can of do. That's even better.
I don't know why. Isn't that what you said? No, you said it.
I said, drop a can of think it. We could drop a can of do it.

Speaker 3 But can I do it?

Speaker 3 K and do is like right there.

Speaker 2 I'm just a drunk lady on the first day of the job.

Speaker 3 I don't take anything I

Speaker 3 can't serious. Thank you for applying here.
I know that you got let go from Tropicana for undisclosed reasons, but we here at Minute Maid are thrilled to have you on board.

Speaker 3 We do try and make the orange juice in a minute. We actually spelled made wrong the first go, but we just left it.
So why don't you give it a squeeze?

Speaker 2 Here I go.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 One.

Speaker 2 And I'm just going to also squeeze a vodka bottle into it as well.

Speaker 2 I can tropic canna do what I want.

Speaker 2 I'm an innovator. I'm cutting out the middle man.

Speaker 3 And this is minute-made, so we do have to fire you.

Speaker 2 Alcohol in the what?

Speaker 2 You can't. I didn't say I'm cutting out the minute man.

Speaker 2 I said I'm cutting out the middle man.

Speaker 3 No, no, it was the tropicana pun that

Speaker 3 is getting.

Speaker 2 Come on, you guys, can't we all just get along? Tropicana, Sunny D, Minute Maid, the other ones.

Speaker 3 Sunny D? You think Sunny D is orange juice?

Speaker 2 Uh, yeah, have you ever put champagne and sunny D together? That'll make you feel alive, sure.

Speaker 3 Mimnosa.

Speaker 3 Mimnosa.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna fire myself. See.

Speaker 3 Mimosa. Ugh, a mimosa with sunny D.
Aaron.

Speaker 2 Is that that sounds really horrible?

Speaker 3 Is that something that you've done? No, thank God. Okay, good, Aaron.
Good, Aaron. Good.

Speaker 2 A way that at my college, the way that they were hazing freshmen my year in the theater program is at the first college party, freshmen could decide to drink mimosas all night or absinthe.

Speaker 2 And I picked mimosas, which was a horrible hangover, but at least I wasn't throwing up green. Looking at you, all my friends that picked absinthe.

Speaker 2 That was my first memory of a lot of you was you throwing up green.

Speaker 3 I think all throw ups green.

Speaker 2 No, no, it was like neon green, and they were all throwing up in the same toilet. I won't name names, but I know.

Speaker 3 Did you kill the toilet available? Or is it like a binding experience? Both.

Speaker 3 Is it sad that in 20 years we're going to have grandmas and grandpas who butt-chugged?

Speaker 2 Anyway, sad is not the word I'd use.

Speaker 3 What would you use? Hopeful. Okay.
Hopeful. Sure.

Speaker 3 Here's three more things you have to tell me what they have in common. Okay.
The Barrier Reef,

Speaker 3 Alexander of Macedon, Frosted Flakes.

Speaker 2 They're great.

Speaker 3 They're all great. Alexander the Great, the Great Barrier Reef, and Frosted Flakes, Tony the Tiger.

Speaker 2 I'd like to see a scene.

Speaker 2 Addle, you're Alexander the Great in your home for Thanksgiving. And GPC, you're his brother.
And you have some thoughts on him being the great, a title that you do not have.

Speaker 3 And so then.

Speaker 3 We took the horses and flanked them, drove them off a cliff and conquered the land. So that's, I guess that's what I've been up to.

Speaker 3 Oh, cool.

Speaker 3 Well, the VCR repair business is going

Speaker 3 really well. Oh, good, good.
Yes, Miles. Tell me.

Speaker 3 What? Yeah. How.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Miles, tell me. He's in a bunch of movies.

Speaker 3 And so

Speaker 3 when I'm, you know, when I go in there, the thing is, people have unspooled the hell out of these things, you know? So it's like when I go in there.

Speaker 3 Sorry, speaking of unspooled, I found the commander of the Great Army and I gutted him and unspooled his intestines in front of his men, which caused them to drop to their knees and surrender.

Speaker 3 So it was kind of a cool.

Speaker 3 I'd never done that. And that was kind of a cool way to kind of gain victory.
You want to see something that makes you drop to your knees. You want to get space balls on VHS.
Now that is a movie.

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 3 you will die laughing at that. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
See, anyway, yeah, a lot of the... And the thing about VCRs,

Speaker 3 you'd think it's just like one type of machine, but no, it's Panasonic.

Speaker 2 Both of my boys home for Thanksgiving. Mom.
So sweet. Alexander.
Oh, my gosh. We missed you so much.

Speaker 3 I wish you lived in the middle of the day. I brought you the severed head of

Speaker 3 your enemy.

Speaker 2 Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 I'm going to cry. You're so good to me.
You're so sweet. And you've never once asked me for money.

Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 mom also good to see you hi yeah you were here yesterday i yeah i well good to see you ate all my bacon you made all the bacon good to see you upstairs i mean for because i'm usually downstairs for most of the day i brought you a little something something

Speaker 3 uh ever seen galaxy quest

Speaker 3 yep

Speaker 3 well I brought that sort of, I guess, in my periphery because from downstairs I brought that upstairs because you said maybe on Thanksgiving we could watch something upstairs. Well, boys, uh,

Speaker 2 your father's working on a turkey, um, everything is falling into place.

Speaker 3 Hey, Alexander could probably do some more work on turkey if he wanted to do some more conquering. Your brother has a lot on his mind right now.

Speaker 2 We need to all be supporting Alexander.

Speaker 3 Oh, he could conquer turkey is all I'm saying. I captured Constantinople, but then they changed the name.

Speaker 2 He they changed the name.

Speaker 3 They also changed the name of

Speaker 3 Edge of Tomorrow to Lived. I repeat.

Speaker 2 Are you drunk?

Speaker 3 What year is it?

Speaker 3 See, How dare you see this one?

Speaker 3 I got to think of an old movie where they changed the name. That was relatively

Speaker 3 dare you.

Speaker 3 You know how they sometimes will say

Speaker 3 the pyramids were built when there were still like woolly mammoths?

Speaker 3 I do think they should start saying that

Speaker 3 Alexander the Great could have watched Spaceballs.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Just to kind of show how to show how crazy history is. Yeah.
History is so crazy.

Speaker 3 Garden Vegetables, a rude child,

Speaker 3 rested horses.

Speaker 3 Because Mel Brooks is so old now. They're like, yeah,

Speaker 3 Mel Brooks and Alexander the Great had like three years of crossovers. And that's crazy.

Speaker 3 New York together.

Speaker 3 Garden Vegetables, a rude child, rested horses.

Speaker 2 You know what I just realized?

Speaker 2 If the apocalypse happens and we're the only media that survives in civilizations like 2,000 years from now have to piece together what the fuck was happening through this alone.

Speaker 3 We're fucked. We're like the Rosetta Stone

Speaker 3 for a future generation. I think that they would get like six episodes in and be like, it's not really worth figuring out what they had going on.
It can't be much better than what we got now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's start from scratch.

Speaker 3 Clean slate.

Speaker 3 Tabula Rosa.

Speaker 3 Well-rested horses.

Speaker 3 Shooed.

Speaker 3 Garden vegetables, a rude child. And I keep wanting to say roasted horses, but it is rested horses.
Snap peas.

Speaker 3 Snappies.

Speaker 2 Is it a specific root vegetable or is it something about root vegetables?

Speaker 3 It's just garden vegetables. I guess there's nothing specific.
It's not a specific vegetable, but I guess it would be like out of the garden.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Fresh.
Fresh.

Speaker 3 Yes, they're all fresh. They're all fresh.
A root child, rested horses, garden vegetables. I do want to see a scene.
Fresh horses. That's so funny.

Speaker 2 I also do love the word fresh for someone being a brat. That feels very Massachusettsy.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Don't get fresh with me.

Speaker 3 Aaron, I agree. I love fresh as someone like talking back or something.
I hate it when it's used as a food descriptor. Like when someone's like, oh, this tastes so fresh.

Speaker 3 If that's their only descriptor, it really wears on me. Yeah.
What about for fish? Because fish is the only thing that I feel like should be fresh.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't mind fresh fish. It's fun to to say.
Yeah, fresh fish. Fresh fish.
Catch of the day. Is your fish fresh? I do want to see a scene.

Speaker 3 Let's say that

Speaker 3 Aaron, do you want to play a rude Bostonian child? Sure. Okay.

Speaker 3 So, Aaron, you're going to be a little rude Bostonian, fresh child.

Speaker 3 And JPC, you are an operator of a roller coaster telling this Bostonian kids they can't get on. Is there a Six Flags Boston?

Speaker 2 Yeah, Six Flags New England. It's in Western Massachusetts.

Speaker 3 And that's where you are.

Speaker 3 Pardon me. Pardon me.
There's a height requirement. Oh, there is?

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much for letting me know.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, you didn't know about it. But yeah, it's a height requirement.
It's right on the

Speaker 3 I think I'm gonna

Speaker 2 am I gonna listen to this teen boy

Speaker 2 who looks scared shitless

Speaker 3 what me Yeah.

Speaker 2 Whose arms are so skinny little?

Speaker 3 Yeah, am I gonna listen to this guy? Huh.

Speaker 3 What does arms have to do with it?

Speaker 3 You're too small.

Speaker 2 Listen to the guy who looks like he goes sailing on a sailboat with his dad.

Speaker 3 What kind of what insult is that?

Speaker 2 Uh, you look like a yuppie new money fucking idiot.

Speaker 3 Oh, okay. Yeah.
Well,

Speaker 3 real smart-mouthed on you.

Speaker 2 Ah, this guy kicked me so hard.

Speaker 3 Hey, who's cooking this kid? It's Boston. Nobody cares about that.
Oh. I want to kick a kid.
Oh. See, now you got a line.

Speaker 3 Now you got an alternate line going of adults who want to kick a kid because they thought it was okay.

Speaker 2 You look over, I'm gone. I'm wearing sunglasses.
I'm at the front of the roller coaster. A diversion, bitch.

Speaker 3 You know,

Speaker 3 I have to pull the lever that starts the roller coaster.

Speaker 2 Oh, do you?

Speaker 3 Oh, oh, God. They used a spell.

Speaker 3 It's a Boston Boston witch. It's a Boston witch.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. I'm too little for this ride.
Who let me go on here?

Speaker 3 I'm going to fall out.

Speaker 3 A witch died today in Boston.

Speaker 3 Again.

Speaker 3 And a child.

Speaker 3 And a child.

Speaker 3 Child fell off a roller coaster. Hey, Murray, why don't you read your stories? I'll read my stories.
Okay, yeah, sorry.

Speaker 2 When's it my turn? The socks lost, and I want to cry about it on TV.

Speaker 3 See, uh, oh, I'm so tired.

Speaker 3 A Boston witch is a pastrami sandwich with a layer of racism.

Speaker 2 Yes, and a little bit of clam chowder on top.

Speaker 3 Clam chowder.

Speaker 3 What do these things have in common? A mountain, a football, droopy droopy pantyhose.

Speaker 2 Tom Brady fucked with all three of these things.

Speaker 3 New today, Tom Brady fucks with a mountain.

Speaker 3 A mountain, droopy dog. No, you just said it like droopy dog.
Droopy pantyhose.

Speaker 3 A football and droopy banty hose. Going down.

Speaker 2 You got like ridges or layers or...

Speaker 3 Yes, ruffles and droopy banty hose both have ridges. They can all be stripped.
Wait.

Speaker 3 That's actually something. You could strip a mountain.
You could strip a football and you can strip off some pantyhose. I mean,

Speaker 3 GBC, you're not wrong. Well, good.
Then I'm right. And

Speaker 3 I relinquish my time.

Speaker 2 I yield my my time. Fuck you.

Speaker 3 Remember how happy we were that week? I yield my time. Fuck you.

Speaker 3 Was there suck my dick in there?

Speaker 2 Yeah, suck my dick. I yield my time.
Fuck you.

Speaker 3 Was that the order? I think it was that order.

Speaker 2 God, we were so happy back then.

Speaker 3 Well, I got my answer right and it was correct and I loved it. So, Aaron, what's your correct answer?

Speaker 2 Can I have a hint for my answer?

Speaker 3 Yes. So a mountain of football, droopy pianohose.

Speaker 3 I would say,

Speaker 3 so Aaron, think of droopy pantyhose. Like if you're on,

Speaker 2 oh, I think I have another guess. A line of

Speaker 3 football.

Speaker 3 White tips?

Speaker 3 What the fuck? What the fuck?

Speaker 3 Doesn't a football have some white on it? No. The laces.

Speaker 3 Just be laces sometimes.

Speaker 3 Like the white tips of the mountain.

Speaker 3 The snow caps.

Speaker 3 I guess in football betting there's white tips in terms of a white guy giving you the over-under.

Speaker 3 A mountain of football, GP pantyhose. Aaron, think of if you're in public and your pantyhose are drooping, what would you do to

Speaker 2 you pull them up?

Speaker 3 You pull them up, absolutely. What's another term for pulling up pantyhose? Climbing or pants or hiking, hiking, you have all hiked.

Speaker 3 Hut, hut.

Speaker 2 Hut, hut, hot. Of course.
Of course.

Speaker 3 I'd like to see that. Do they still?

Speaker 3 Oh, Aaron, can I ask a question? Yeah, of course. Do they still sell pantyhose and those eggs? Do you remember the eggs that they sold pantyhose in? Oh, I think they did these.
Yeah, I changed it.

Speaker 3 So, does that mean that pantyhose are reptiles? Yes. Yes.

Speaker 3 They hatch.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You guys don't know anything about women.

Speaker 2 I remember those being in like CVS and stuff when you'd get pantyhose for.

Speaker 3 But they don't do that anymore, right?

Speaker 2 I think they might.

Speaker 2 Whenever I buy types, I'm a big types fan.

Speaker 3 They don't. Oh, Tennessee.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 2 But I haven't seen those.

Speaker 3 But I think I'm trying to remember. I think they might.
Weren't they called legs, like L-E-G-G-S? I don't know. Oh.
I feel like that was the brand name or that was like one of the brand names.

Speaker 3 That's the pun. Okay.
Okay. I'm pretty sure that was the name of them.

Speaker 2 I'll look into it. I'd like to see a scene.
Sure.

Speaker 2 You are,

Speaker 2 JBC, you're the guy that does the thing between his legs. Passing it to Adel.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry, Aaron. Magic Mike? Aaron, you're going to have to be so much more specific.
In football.

Speaker 3 In football. Thank you.
Center. Hut.
That guy. Yeah.
Yeah. And then

Speaker 2 Addle, you're the quarterback, which I assume that's who he's passing you to. Okay.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 Adel, you're trying to stall because you're really nervous and you don't want him to pass you the ball just yet. But JPC, you're a little annoyed because you're in that crouch position.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Blue 42. Deborah, Deborah.

Speaker 3 Fancy pants. Fancy pants.
Deborah, Blue.

Speaker 3 Roam. Room 29.

Speaker 3 Hey, what are these?

Speaker 3 What? What are these? Oh, don't worry about it. Don't worry.
It's a new... Don't worry.

Speaker 3 I'm trying to get them off sides.

Speaker 3 Hey. Nobody's moving.
Nobody's moving. Hey, 48, your mom.

Speaker 3 Your mom's not your real mom. What? Your mom's not your real mom.

Speaker 3 Huh?

Speaker 3 Ask call her. Ask her.

Speaker 3 And that one's actually true.

Speaker 3 I got drunk with 48.

Speaker 3 All right. Delay of game.
Shit. Yeah, shit.
Wait, what the hell, man? What was the plan? We just, we just, we just lost it down.

Speaker 3 Listen, um,

Speaker 3 you know how in the Bible they cut Samson's hair and he lost his strength? No,

Speaker 3 I got him.

Speaker 3 I'm 22. I've never read a book in my fucking life, man.
My life is about football. Listen, don't tell me Bible stories right now.
Ugh.

Speaker 3 I

Speaker 3 last night, something happened to me where I feel like I lost it.

Speaker 3 I can't throw anymore.

Speaker 3 What? You know in Rookie of the Year where at the end he like falls and it hits his arm and he can't throw it. No, I've never watched a movie.

Speaker 3 From the moment I was born, the only thing I've known was football, football, football, football, football. To not know Rookie of the Year and the Bible, those are the top two properties.

Speaker 3 I feel like we should know those inside and out. Hey, the top two properties are the properties that my money manager, who's fucking me over, is buying with my body.

Speaker 2 are we just chatting?

Speaker 3 Can we get back to the game? Shut up. Okay.

Speaker 3 Also, 48's on our team. I'm on your team.

Speaker 3 Why are you trash talking? Arm tackles. Oh, right.
Oh, that's how I know that their mom's not their real mom is because

Speaker 2 I told you that in Covenant.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 Hey, I'm going to throw you the ball, okay? Don't tell.

Speaker 3 Don't tell. Don't tell.

Speaker 3 Defense is like 48. Everyone guard 48.

Speaker 2 48's about to die.

Speaker 3 Stick to 48.

Speaker 3 Oh, don't tell.

Speaker 3 I'll never tell. Here's three things.
Tell me what they have in common. The Monkeys, the 56 Yankees, Disney World.
Hey, hey.

Speaker 3 Hey, hey, were the 56 Yankees? They're all

Speaker 3 infected with STEIs.

Speaker 2 They all have tall tails.

Speaker 3 The monkeys, the 56 Yankees, Disney, Woyle. Is it the Monkeys spelled like the band, the Monkeys? It is.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I should have said that, but I think the, I assume the would be

Speaker 3 a band.

Speaker 2 Oh, wait, I have something for this. Reaches into pocket, reaches further into pocket.
Hadle, for my birthday one year, you gave me an IOU, which is this is good for

Speaker 2 not solving one riddle. So I get to skip this riddle.
Oh, can I?

Speaker 3 Yep, that is the coupon I gave you from my coupon book. I panic wrote moments after I remembered it.
Was your birthday?

Speaker 3 And Aaron, do you want to cash in any of the coupons that I gave you?

Speaker 2 Never. I'm scared.
I think that will

Speaker 3 be the end times. People are so obsessed with back rubs, but the second you offer front rubs, they're like, oh, this is actually crossing a big line.

Speaker 2 You put front in quotes and then rubs in quotes and not like quotes together. They're two separate quotes.

Speaker 3 Two separately quotes.

Speaker 2 So like, what does that mean?

Speaker 3 I get to decide what I think is the front. I get to decide what I think is a rub.

Speaker 3 What do you think it means? It's pretty obvious.

Speaker 3 Davy Jones was a monkey. Now, GPC, you are on a good path.

Speaker 3 Will it involve me knowing any other monkeys' names? Yes, in fact. Fuck my life into pieces.
This is my last resort.

Speaker 3 Aaron, help me out. Do we know any other monkeys besides Davey Jones?

Speaker 2 I said I didn't. I'm using my IOU.

Speaker 3 We're not doing a riddle. I'm just talking to you about the monkeys, the band.

Speaker 2 Hey, hey, we're the monkeys.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And here's a list of all our names.

Speaker 3 What's that song where they're like,

Speaker 3 what's that? What's any other monkey song?

Speaker 2 Every time I think of the monkeys, I think of Hermann's Hermits.

Speaker 2 Herbert's Hermits?

Speaker 3 Hermit's Hermits. Extrem Believer.
Yeah. Right? The monkeys come and queen.

Speaker 2 And every time I hear that song, I think of Dawson's Creek.

Speaker 3 Fuck me. I truly, why would I ever need to know another person from the Monkeys? But I feel like with the Monkeys, I know Davy Jones.

Speaker 3 And if I heard someone say the name of another person, so you want to think of last name Dolans,

Speaker 3 Mickey Dolans? Yes.

Speaker 3 Is that a person?

Speaker 2 They all have Mickeys.

Speaker 3 They all have Mickeys.

Speaker 2 Mickey Mantles.

Speaker 3 The Monkeys, the 56 Yankees, and Disney World all have Mickeys.

Speaker 3 I do want to see a seed.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Mickey Dolan's. I don't think I ever would have gotten that.
This is going to be maybe back-to-back episodes with Yankee scenes, but I do want to see a seed.

Speaker 3 Aaron, you are the manager of the 56 Yankees, and you are welcoming your new number one draft pick, Mickey Mouse, JPC or Mickey Mouse.

Speaker 2 Hey, fellas, take a seat. I'm going to take a seat.

Speaker 2 Everyone, yeah, you can smoke in here. Continue to smoke.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right, fellas.

Speaker 2 We haven't won a game in a couple weeks, so I decided to bring in a new player.

Speaker 4 Oh, good coach. Yeah, coach.
Yeah. Thanks, coach.

Speaker 2 I'm glad that you have a good attitude about it. This player is going to bring in a new kind of demographic watching it, children.
And this player

Speaker 4 is going to be a little small, so you have to be careful with him.

Speaker 3 Hmm.

Speaker 2 He loves to whistle.

Speaker 4 Oh, shortstop. Maybe a new short stop.

Speaker 2 Come on in, Mr. Mouse.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 4 oh, so good to finally meet everyone here. Draft Dodger.

Speaker 2 Yes, as everyone remembers, Mickey Mouse has recently been in the papers for dodging.

Speaker 2 I guess recently been in the papers for dodging the World War II draft, which I guess that's coming out way later, but we recently found out...

Speaker 4 Rat, Draft Dodger, Rat.

Speaker 4 I was just a little boy.

Speaker 2 No, you were a full-grown man.

Speaker 2 You faked an injury and you didn't go fight in World War II.

Speaker 4 Okay, oh, okay, oh, so I'm like, I'm like a 30-year-old joining a Facebook thing.

Speaker 2 I mean, Mickey Mouse was

Speaker 2 inventing the 20s, so I'm just going by.

Speaker 4 Oh, I have a question. Oh,

Speaker 4 does this count as breaking the color barrier? Because I'm...

Speaker 3 I'm not... I'm not.

Speaker 2 Weird that you asked that. Stop.
Everybody shut it down. Everyone starts taking apart the lockers.

Speaker 3 Am I?

Speaker 4 Oh, am I a black guy with a white guy's face?

Speaker 2 Uh, nope, nope.

Speaker 4 Am I a black guy doing white face? Oh, what am I?

Speaker 3 Jackie Robinson walks in. What the fuck? Hey, dude.
I didn't draw me off.

Speaker 3 Scene, scene, scene.

Speaker 3 I love Mickey Mouse stealing Jackie Robinson's valor.

Speaker 2 Yelling draft dodger at Mickey Mouse is fucking funny.

Speaker 3 Coward. Coward.
And you're a bunch of other people who are also playing on the Ikeas. Ostensibly.

Speaker 3 It's fun.

Speaker 3 What if A League of Their Own was all Disney characters? That's fun. That's kind of like how they made that Final Fantasy game that was all Disney characters.
Oh, Kingdom Hearts. Kingdom Hearts.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we could just do whatever properties we want, but just put Disney in them.

Speaker 3 Does Goofy have like a big Sephiroth sword or something?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 Goofy has a big Sephiroth. Gorsh, I need more materia.
Gorsh, there's no crying in baseball.

Speaker 2 Well, Scoofy peeing into the sink like Tom Hanks does in a league of their own.

Speaker 3 Let's take a quick break and we'll be right back with more goofy.

Speaker 3 Oh, hey, friends. Sorry about all the legs you're seeing.
I just became a rocket. Ooh.

Speaker 3 Dee dee dee. Addle your dream.
I know. They said I wasn't tall enough, but I am.

Speaker 3 And now I'm making all that rocket money. Ooh.

Speaker 2 Well, Adel, I'll be able to afford to go see you because I've been saving so much money using Rocket Money.

Speaker 3 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 That's so funny. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Kind of like what you just said. Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 So Adel has been making a lot of rockette money, and Aaron is using Rocket Money, which is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

Speaker 3 That's all tracks. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals.

Speaker 2 They'll even talk to customer service so you don't have to. It's like having a little assistant in your pocket.

Speaker 3 And Rocket Money has saved leggy users like myself over $2.5 billion, including over $880 million in canceled subscriptions alone.

Speaker 3 Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. And Adel, I know that Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you.

Speaker 3 The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save them and then goes to work to get you better deals. They'll even talk to customer service so you don't have to.

Speaker 3 But Rocket Money, what other songs do the Rockets kind of dance to?

Speaker 3 Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com/slash riddle today.
That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocket

Speaker 3 slash riddle. Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee.

Speaker 3 Stretch, stretch first, stretch, stretch first. Oh, oh, I pulled my leg.
I pulled it so hard.

Speaker 2 As you can see, I'm on the couch. My feet are up.
I'm on my phone. I'm drinking a Mai Thai.
Gentlemen, I'm actually done with my Christmas shopping, so I don't need to go with you today.

Speaker 3 Well, that's my couch, and you spilled a lot of Mai Thai on it.

Speaker 2 I know. I got everyone an aura frame for Christmas.
So yeah, I'm actually all done. I did a perfect job.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we were actually going to shop for Adel's new couch today because you keep spilling my ties. We're all saying the same thing.
Well, wait, JPC.

Speaker 2 I'm all saying the same thing.

Speaker 3 Sorry, Aaron, did you say an aura frame? Mm-hmm. I am obsessed with aura frames.
They're the perfect gift for anyone in your life. I have my own.

Speaker 3 I also gave my mom one, and they have a really cool thing where you can share photos to each other's frames. And we have such a laugh just dropping in fun little photos.

Speaker 3 You can honestly also preload photos before it even ships.

Speaker 3 And you can keep adding them from anywhere, anytime i love it because i can always send up-to-date photos of my child to my family members aura frames and preloaded photos can still make you happy for a limited time visit auraframes.com and get 45 off aura's best-selling carver matte frames named number one by wirecutter by using promo code riddle at checkout that's aura frames a u r a frames.com promo code riddle this exclusive black friday cyber monday deal is their best of the year so order now before it ends Support our show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply.

Speaker 2 Take a photo of me drinking in my Ty and Adel's couch and then put it on the aura frame.

Speaker 3 Oh, it's actually for evidence, Erin.

Speaker 2 Oh, good.

Speaker 3 Jeez.

Speaker 3 It's funny, I'm always thinking about it this time of year, but I'm not as young as I once was.

Speaker 3 But I care a lot about maintaining my physical and mental wellness, which means cornbread hemps CBD gummies are a huge piece of my wellness plan.

Speaker 3 It's so funny, I have no idea why it gets to be this time of year. And I'm thinking about how I'm not as young as I once was.
Oh, same girl saying, but also, JPC, your birthday's in December.

Speaker 3 Okay, that makes sense. Well, JPC,

Speaker 3 someone left something under the tree

Speaker 3 called cornbread hemp CBD gummies. Have you heard of these? You've seen these? Uh-huh, yes, I have.
They're made to help you feel better, whether it's stress, discomfort,

Speaker 3 the encroaching clock of aging. Or relaxation.
Relaxation. I use cornbread hemp CBD and GPC.
Let me just say, toss one in my mouth. I chew it.
I swallow it. And suddenly,

Speaker 3 I'm at peace. And I'm old as hell.

Speaker 2 All products are third-party lab tested in USDA organic to ensure safety and purity. So you can relax, relax.

Speaker 3 Okay, you guys might be onto something with this cornbread hemp CBD gummy. John Travolta? John Travolta.
CBD?

Speaker 3 That's awesome. And right now, hey, Riddle Riddle listeners can save 30% on their first order.
Just head to cornbreadhemp.com/slash riddle and use code riddle at checkout.

Speaker 3 That's cornbreadhemp.com slash riddle and use code riddle.

Speaker 3 Age is nothing but a number. A number of years I've been on earth.
Years are also nothing but physical manifestations of time passing. Hmm.

Speaker 3 I feel okay. I feel okay.

Speaker 3 This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Speaker 3 Adult, Aaron, I have made you guys, kind of one of my holiday traditions, a website pot pie. Ooh.

Speaker 3 Interesting. Okay, got a nice crust.
Good bake on this. Yes.
Very good bake. I think that you'll also be able to tell that I

Speaker 3 have some special seasoning. Let's just say that there's some hyperlinks in there.

Speaker 2 Hmm. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
Ooh, did you use Squarespace when you were making this? I can tell.

Speaker 3 Okay, that would have been smart because Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online.

Speaker 3 No, I kind of made this traditionally in a kitchen with, you know, flour and salt.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm clicking these links and they're not working. So you should have used Squarespace.

Speaker 3 I'm getting a taste. It's so, it's so delicious.
I feel like maybe... Is there like videos in here?

Speaker 3 Because I know Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. So am I getting a hint of videos?

Speaker 3 Yes and no. I definitely watched videos as I was making it on how to make website pie, and all the videos were like, don't do this.
You can't do this. It shouldn't be done.
It's against God.

Speaker 2 Well, if you use Squarespace, you can make smarter business decisions with Squarespace's intuitive built-in analytics tools.

Speaker 2 Review website traffic, learn where to focus engagement, and track revenue from bookings, invoices, and product sales, all from one place.

Speaker 3 It's interesting that you mentioned that, Erin, because I actually did use SEO tools to make this website pie.

Speaker 3 With Squarespace, you can get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools, and every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto-generated sitemap, and more.

Speaker 3 So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers.

Speaker 3 But the SEO tools that I used on this website pie were, and then, okay, SEO, I got this, I got this, I got this, I got this. Cinnamon.

Speaker 3 And we're already out.

Speaker 3 I messed up big time on this website pie.

Speaker 3 It's delicious, though. I'm going to grab another slice.
Hey, and if you want another slice, why don't you head to squarespace.com/slash Riddle for a free trial.

Speaker 3 And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Speaker 2 I will say the smell waft thing really did pull me into this room. So, my compliments to the JPC chef.

Speaker 3 But now for the best part: who wants to get their stomach pumped? Me,

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 And we're back, and

Speaker 3 we do have more trios. I'm going to keep going with these trios.
Okay, let's do it. Let's trio it up.

Speaker 3 Please tell me what these three things have in common. Ice cream, a poorly run newspaper, a low throw to first base.
Man, a lot of baseball going around. Cold.

Speaker 3 Ice cream, a poorly run newspaper, a low throw to first base. Cold is not a terrible guess.
No

Speaker 3 spoon.

Speaker 2 Isn't that like an old newspaper term that I just made up?

Speaker 3 I don't know the baseball term low throw. Does that mean that the person's out or that means it strikes?

Speaker 3 Well, it wouldn't be a strike because it's more what the person catching it does to kind of grab it.

Speaker 3 So say it's a low throw and it maybe bounces along a baseline or something. The person who's

Speaker 3 tripping the ball has to do this to get it.

Speaker 3 Scoop. Scoop.

Speaker 3 Yes, they're all scooped. A poorly run newspaper is going to have the news scooped out from underneath them.
I'd like to see a C.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 2 that means Adel, you run an old-timey newspaper, and JPC is usually your best reporter. But JPC, you're really spinning your wheels trying to come up with a good story.

Speaker 3 Got it. And Aaron, will you play my top reporter? Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right, all hands on deck. All hands on deck.

Speaker 3 Yes, thank you. Thank you.
Please.

Speaker 3 Please mumble. Please mumble a vegetable reporter.
What's this meeting? What's this? Rubber, Robobra,

Speaker 3 Rubobobaba.

Speaker 3 What's this spitting? Now we all know I run an old-timey newspaper. Of course, the year is 2025, but we report on news as if it's yesteryear.

Speaker 3 That's why we're yesteryear news. Rhubarb, rubob, rhubarb.

Speaker 3 Gloria?

Speaker 3 Yes. What scoop do you have for me today?

Speaker 2 I got the scoop of the century, you see.

Speaker 3 Ooh, lights a big cigar.

Speaker 2 Two people in this office knocked boots together last night after they drank too late at the bar.

Speaker 2 I got my best guy on it. Me, Gloria.
I'm gonna crack the story wide open, just like they cracked wide open last night.

Speaker 3 Ooh, 23 Skidoo and of course, we'll pay you 23 cents on the dollar for being a woman. I love it.

Speaker 3 Okay, who else? Maguire, do you have a scoop for me? Oh, Maguire.

Speaker 3 No, yeah. Yeah, Maguire, what's your scoop? Yeah, Maguire.
Rubach, rubot.

Speaker 3 Yeah, rude by guy. I have a scoop.

Speaker 3 And we do, we're doing news on Friday as well.

Speaker 3 Yes, we do news every day of the week. It's every day of the week.
Twice on Sundays.

Speaker 3 We're the only paper that releases

Speaker 3 twice on Sundays.

Speaker 3 Twice on Sundays. Twenty fire.

Speaker 2 Open your little notebook and read all the news.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, yes,

Speaker 3 mini fires. Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes.
Mini fires burning right now. Oh,

Speaker 3 here's a popular.

Speaker 2 Start the fire. What is that? Are you trying to review a

Speaker 2 Rhys Witherspoon show?

Speaker 3 Reese Witherspoon. Corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn.

Speaker 3 Is that a morning show reference?

Speaker 2 No, like, doesn't she... Little fires.

Speaker 2 Lots of little fires everywhere. Who's not going to fly?

Speaker 3 Little fires everywhere. The book by, how to say Celeste Ng?

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, Maguire, I interrupted you. I beg you.

Speaker 3 So there is on the wall a clock

Speaker 3 shortage happening. There's a clock shortage happening on the Great Wall of China.

Speaker 3 So that's pretty. McGuire didn't prepare.
No, I did. I did.
I did. That's just one of the mini scoops that I have kicking around in my notebook.
There's a lot of people who are.

Speaker 2 McGuire was one of the people knocking boots last night and cracking open. That's why he wasn't ready.

Speaker 3 Tomato?

Speaker 2 Tomatoes? Tomatoes? Tomatoes. Tomatoes.
Tomatoes?

Speaker 3 Christian Mark?

Speaker 3 Stop saying stuff like that.

Speaker 3 I just wrote down tomatoes question mark.

Speaker 3 You're getting in my head.

Speaker 3 So, Maguire, what you're leading me to believe is that I'm supposed to run a front page that says both two employees knock boots and also clock shortage on the Great Wall of China will be laughed out of town not necessarily that I've got a lot of news uh there's also the

Speaker 3 water

Speaker 3 cooler you're looking around the room

Speaker 3 well yes I'm talking to I'm addressing the entire room you didn't let me you're backing out slowly Maguire where are you going Kaiser Sose Kaiser Sose well I'm a reporter it's not happy hour I gotta go put boots to the pavement and

Speaker 2 make sure I'm chasing out the leaves Your boots are hitting the pavement after hitting the bed last night.

Speaker 3 Oh, you fucked Stephen Melchmiss.

Speaker 3 All right, hold on now. Hold on now.

Speaker 3 The water cooler shortage on the Great Wall of China is

Speaker 2 going into effect. McGuire and I slept together last night, and I've got the scoop.

Speaker 3 Oh, Gene Louise.

Speaker 3 Oh, just please don't tell my wife. Either of them.
In different cities, you see.

Speaker 3 I know it's 2025, but I figured I'd do a little callback to having two families well i'm making 23 cents to the dollar so

Speaker 3 hey that's fucked see

Speaker 3 hey that's fucked hey that's fucked hey hey that's fucked did they say that's fucked in the old times do you think that they said that in the 20s i think so in their own way probably in their own way yeah

Speaker 3 I'd be curious to know when curse words, like what curse words were commonplace during what eras.

Speaker 2 That's why it's so trippy seeing the old-timey bloopers because it's like these black and white movies, and they're like, I'll tell you something about this, Mr.

Speaker 2 Ah, fuck, shoot, we'll have to take that take again.

Speaker 3 And you're like, whoa, whoa, pissing my ass. Well, I know that they were saying fuck because I've

Speaker 3 seen Deadwood, and like Deadwood is in the 18th century.

Speaker 3 That's a 18th

Speaker 3 century?

Speaker 3 Yeah, but

Speaker 3 they go.

Speaker 3 Deadwood takes

Speaker 3 a special care to

Speaker 3 use the vernacular of the time, which is why you can't understand a word that's being said in that fucking show.

Speaker 3 I'm going to read you a list of old-fashioned swears.

Speaker 3 I love it. Con Sarn, Sard,

Speaker 2 Bed Swerver. Also, sorry if any of these are crazy offensive.

Speaker 3 Bijabbers. This is my favorite one.
Bijabbers. B-E-J-A-B-B-E-R-S.
Bajabbers. Fox Doodle.
Do you.

Speaker 3 All right. I know you still can't call somebody a fuck.

Speaker 3 Do you call someone a bejabbers or do you say what the bejabbers is?

Speaker 2 Another way of saying bejesus.

Speaker 2 I say bejesus and you say bejabbers.

Speaker 3 A substantial for by Jesus that is similar to bejesus. This feels like a

Speaker 3 zwoons or something like that where you're like.

Speaker 3 You can't say God's wounds. Thunderation.
Arfarfenarf? Arfarfenarf.

Speaker 3 A-R-F-A-R-F-A-N apostrophe A-R-F. Arfarfenarf.
Every dog listening to this podcast was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't say that, Jay.
Every dog Siri just went off. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Every dog begins with ARF. This may sound like a strange approximation of a dog barking, but it's a real word.
It's actually a Victorian slang term

Speaker 3 to call someone who's drunk Arfarfenarf.

Speaker 3 Corn nuts, Gadzooks, snails, muck spout. Gadzooks is a black.
Bloody Nora. Dagnamic gosh.

Speaker 3 I love

Speaker 3 a child getting sent home from his like one-room schoolhouse for saying like snarf or whatever.

Speaker 3 You can't say mud spout in class.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's British. Bloody Nora is British.

Speaker 3 These are all very good. Well, I mean, as you know, as far as old-timey things go, you can't really have something like too old-timey here in America.
We don't really have that deep a history.

Speaker 3 That deep a bench. Karen, you mentioning old-timey movies made me think of this.
And it's, and I know she's not old-timey, old-timey, but she's from a bygone era. I

Speaker 3 saw,

Speaker 3 I saw a thing last night that, uh,

Speaker 3 who's the most efficient person? Any Hollywood actress over 50 from a bygone era? Please, over 40, please. Um, I always want to say Agatha Chrissy.

Speaker 3 Who's the woman who was the teapot in Beauty and the Beast?

Speaker 2 Angela Lansberry.

Speaker 3 Angela Lansbury. Fuck.
I always want to call her Agatha Chrissy.

Speaker 3 I didn't know Angela Lansberry, and I saw this last night, that she had two kids. Oh, you did your gossip voice.

Speaker 2 I can't fucking wait. You went a little late.

Speaker 3 She had two kids, and they were running with a bad crew. And she was like, my kids are in with this, this bad crew, and I can't have them being around these people.

Speaker 3 And so she quit Hollywood for like a year to move to Cork, Ireland to help get her kids removed from this bad crew of people.

Speaker 3 And it turned out that they were in the Manson family.

Speaker 2 Oh, that is, that actually would make for a great movie.

Speaker 3 So she saved her kids from being like a part of the Manson family. That's incredible.
Good for her. You didn't get to play Angela Lansbury, though.
Aaron. The teapot?

Speaker 2 Tell us all the time.

Speaker 3 Wait, watch it, rush, watch it. Hi, wait.
You gave me such a, right? I could do it. I could be Angela.

Speaker 2 You'd have to punch me in the throat.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 do you think quick bunch of people?

Speaker 2 Make me 80 billion percent more charming.

Speaker 3 Do you think that when the Manson family shit went down, do you think Angela Lansberry was like, well,

Speaker 3 well,

Speaker 3 smacked her kids clean across the mouth? She's like, you're fucking welcome, by the way, that you're not.

Speaker 2 I bet you again, zooks.

Speaker 3 Uh-oh. You're stabbing some squares in the Hollywood Hills.
You're welcome. You goofy Arfarfenars.

Speaker 3 I think where my wire, I think I just realized where my wires cross is Angela Lansbury was in murder she wrote. Yes.

Speaker 3 And when I see the words murder, and then she wrote, I think of Agatha Chrissy because she wrote murders.

Speaker 2 Yes, this is a great self-diagnosis of you sort of going into your own brain and figuring out why everything is where it is.

Speaker 3 What else is going on? I traced the wires. Should I cut it?

Speaker 2 Don't cut the red wire.

Speaker 3 Pliers up the nose. Adel.
I told Snap

Speaker 3 that whenever Tony Shaloub gets mentioned, Adel, what do you always say when Tony Shaloub gets mentioned? It's not what I say. It's what I must say.
It's what you must say.

Speaker 3 It's a compulsion. Can you Arabs, you solve the puzzle?

Speaker 2 He's the something, he's something Al Pacino.

Speaker 3 No, he's the Lebanese De Niro. De Niro.

Speaker 3 Al always says

Speaker 3 when he gets mentioned, he's the Lebanese De Niro. But I always forget the nationality and the actor.

Speaker 3 So whenever someone mentions Tony Shaloub, in my mind, I'm always like, oh, he's the Armenian Pacino.

Speaker 3 He's the Serbian hackman?

Speaker 3 I honestly, I think I was talking to someone the other day, and I think I did say Serbia Gina.

Speaker 3 I also, anytime someone mentions Neil Diamond, I simply must say Jewish Elvis because that's what he was known as, was Jewish Elvis.

Speaker 3 Is he no longer with us?

Speaker 3 Shit, did he?

Speaker 3 Jewish Elvis hasn't left the ball.

Speaker 3 And sorry to admit that if he's past.

Speaker 2 You guys, I do sometimes think we cause celebrity deaths on the show, so let's tread lightly.

Speaker 3 Whoa, yeah, we did with Nick Carter.

Speaker 3 Did we kill

Speaker 3 AR Carter? We said we just killed Karnataka. Well, now with Nick Carter, now we just killed another Carter.
We've killed Jimmy Carter. We've killed Nick Carter.

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 3 I hope we don't kill Shaloub. No, no, no, no, no.
That would be a shame. Although he's in that new Shane Black movie, and it's

Speaker 3 none of the two good. Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 He deserves that class.

Speaker 3 He's Tony Shaloub. He's the shoe.

Speaker 3 Did Shane Black write it or just direct it? He wrote it and directed it. Because I love a Shane Black script.
I thought I did too.

Speaker 3 I think, like, like a lot of men of his age in Hollywood, he's kind of maybe lost a little bit of his magic. Sure, sure.
Aaron, have you seen The Nice Guys yet?

Speaker 2 Yes, I think it's fantastic. Thank you so much.
It's so good.

Speaker 3 Here's three things. You tell me what they have in common.
An ancient harp, someone committing perjury, the boy who cried wolf.

Speaker 2 Angels.

Speaker 3 These are all people who are kind of plucky. Ooh, okay.

Speaker 3 I like that a lot.

Speaker 3 An ancient harp, someone committing perjury, the boy who cried wolf. Now, the ancient harp.
Strung up? Is it strung up? Not strung up.

Speaker 3 An ancient harp is the one that's going to trip you up a little bit because it's spelled differently than the other two.

Speaker 3 The other two are spelled the same, but ancient harp is spelled a different way, and that might cause like a bit of a, oh.

Speaker 3 An ancient harp. Okay.
So the boy who cried wolf is a liar. It's a liar.

Speaker 3 They're all liars. Liars.
They're all liars.

Speaker 2 That's a a good one.

Speaker 3 Wow, I do want to see a scene.

Speaker 3 Aaron, you and I are

Speaker 3 sorry, JPC, you and I are townsfolk.

Speaker 3 And Aaron, you are running in to tell us. It's sort of a boy who cried wolf situation, but it's your own spin on it.

Speaker 3 And so I said to Margaret, I said,

Speaker 3 well, why don't you set down the grain and we can sit and have it all? Welcome, you guys.

Speaker 3 It's the

Speaker 3 shepherd's boy. Well, shepherd's boy.

Speaker 3 Welcome.

Speaker 2 You guys are not gonna freaking believe this freaking well uh you you must uh were tell your father about this mud spigot language ten stones on your head uh no no get zooks get zooks oh i just got robbed on the edge of town oh no i have no robber on the edge of town a robber on oh bandits yes there are bandits and i got robbed and i have no more money and then the robbers told everyone from the casino to come after me for no reason.

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh, what are we going to do as a town to fix this?

Speaker 3 Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 We're all in this together, guys.

Speaker 3 Let me break down the situation. You were robbed.
Yes. And then the robbers went to the casino.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And what did they tell them?

Speaker 2 Uh-huh. They went to the casino and they said, hey, take care of this asshole for us.
Pretend he owes you a ton of money.

Speaker 3 And this is why I voted no on the village casino. We have a baker, a tailor, and you are out.

Speaker 3 And you are out voted.

Speaker 2 And now we're living in this reality. So what are we going to do as a town?

Speaker 3 Because people like to wind down. That's why we have it.

Speaker 3 So just so I have an idea.

Speaker 3 The chain of events was they robbed you. Uh-huh.
Then they went to the casino. Big time.
Then they told the casino to pretend like you owed the casino a lot of money. Yeah.

Speaker 3 How does that have anything to do with the robbing you?

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 they really want people to come after me, so I can't stop them. They think I'm too strong, and I can bring down all the bandits that robbed me.

Speaker 2 And you guys, I know I talk in the cadence of a liar, but this is all really fucking true. This is really true what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 I haven't had a gambling problem in like four years.

Speaker 3 So, and so it's the town's problem because you're the only one who can stop the bandits.

Speaker 2 Only one that can

Speaker 3 Can I just say my piece that I used to be a butcher until the casino came to the village and started offering huge Wednesday $1 steaks?

Speaker 3 Just saying.

Speaker 3 The steaks at the casino taste just like yours, if not better, Rick. Okay,

Speaker 3 $1 steaks? That's insane. I couldn't compete with that.

Speaker 2 You guys, it's the perfect plan. They do have to do it.

Speaker 3 You could have opened a casino. Hold on.
Rick, you could have opened a casino at your butcher shop. I did.

Speaker 3 And you guys said no gambling.

Speaker 2 They're going to be here any second. I think we need to focus.

Speaker 2 It's the perfect plan because they know everyone thinks I have a gambling problem. And they know that I've used this exact excuse before.

Speaker 3 Right? Oh, that's right. Yes.
Wasn't this what happened last week?

Speaker 2 Yes, but I lied last week. And then they were like, well, this time,

Speaker 2 this time I won't be believed.

Speaker 3 So now.

Speaker 3 Last week they broke your legs, right?

Speaker 3 Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 But last week, but this time it's real. Don't you see it's the perfect crime?

Speaker 3 Don't you see?

Speaker 3 Perfect crime.

Speaker 2 The bandits are going to be unstoppable. I'm the only ones that can, you know, I went over this.
I'm the only one that can stop the bandits. They're working with the guys from the casino.

Speaker 2 They work together.

Speaker 3 We're all cooked. And Rick, we all came to your casino.
It just, it was so poorly run that you lost. I don't understand.

Speaker 2 You can't be talking about Rick's thing right now because my thing is dangerous.

Speaker 3 Oh, Rick's thing is dangerous. He's got a wife and kids.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but it's like starving. It's like slow drip.

Speaker 3 Hold on.

Speaker 3 How this the one thing you should have is food. You have a butcher shop.
No, it all spoiled. And I refuse to let them eat the $1 steaks on Wednesdays at the casino.

Speaker 3 Well, I mean, you said this last thing.

Speaker 3 We had this same. Rick and I had this same conversation last week.

Speaker 3 My wife and kid are dead. Here's what we do.
What? My wife and kid are dead.

Speaker 3 Oh, they're all liars. The LA Freeway, the NBA Slam Dunk Contest,

Speaker 3 and a door.

Speaker 3 The LA Freeway,

Speaker 3 the NBA Slam Dunk Contest, and a door. They're all hard to get off of

Speaker 3 from.

Speaker 3 Hmm.

Speaker 2 Not with that attitude.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 constant slams. You, you're very close.

Speaker 3 Always.

Speaker 3 Jams, jams, jams, jump, jams. Jump jams.
Dink, bump, gumba, dink, gumba, doop, jam.

Speaker 3 You call a dunk a jam, right? Call it a NBA jams.

Speaker 3 Yeah. The nail in the coffin.
You ever play that game, Aaron? From downtown. He's on fire.
He's on fire. He's heating up.

Speaker 2 I'm not familiar with this.

Speaker 3 You've never played NBA Jam? No. By Midway Games? No.
Aaron. Aaron, NBA Jams was an

Speaker 3 early basketball game with, I want to say, almost impossible levels of

Speaker 3 physics. Like, I remember you could, like, dribble three times and be across the court.
And you're like, I think that might be wrong.

Speaker 3 You could dunk from the free throw line up the other side of the court. Yeah.
What? Like 93?

Speaker 3 Oh, like early. Okay.
There was also a.

Speaker 3 There was also a game for, I think it was for N64. There may have been earlier versions called NFL Blitz.
And in NFL Blitz,

Speaker 3 NBA Jams basically, but for football. But you would tackle someone and then they would go like 15 yards.
And you're like, okay, so I guess that's the first down line now. I'm like, dead.

Speaker 3 How do they get tackled for 15 yards? Aaron, in NBA Jam, when you, if you made three shots in a row,

Speaker 3 you would catch on fire. They'd say, he's on fire.
And you would literally have flames around you. And then that was like,

Speaker 3 you could like do a lot, a lot more things. You were like supercharged.
And then if you like dunked it and shit, like the rim would catch on fire, too. Like the net would catch on fire.

Speaker 3 It was a real problem. And this is like a dumb question, but that doesn't happen in real life, right?

Speaker 3 Well, let me answer a dumb question with a dumb response, Aaron. You could also be an alien in this game as well.
Oh. Yeah, like one of those like long grays.
You could like make your character that.

Speaker 2 Has this game made a comeback in any way? Is it like back in the zeitgeist or is it just...

Speaker 3 They released a version for iOS that I downloaded at some point. So I feel like it's still in the Zeitgeist.
I think it was supplanted by the more

Speaker 3 like the EA sports and basketball games. Like, yeah,

Speaker 3 the ones that come out every year, basically. Right.

Speaker 2 Is there a video game that you guys are the most nostalgic for? Like, you'd give anything to play it for the first time or have it back in a new iteration?

Speaker 3 Maybe like Bubble Bobble. Like,

Speaker 3 there's something. Have you ever played that?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 3 There's something so gentle.

Speaker 3 and satisfying about so you're basically two little cutesy dinosaurs so you play with you play with a partner you have to well you don't have have to play two player, but you should play two-player.

Speaker 3 And there's like 99 levels. At every level, you're like a little dinosaur dragon, and you open your mouth and a bubble comes out, and you can catch bad guys or catch prizes, whatever you want.

Speaker 3 It's so cute. It was like my first

Speaker 3 love in video games.

Speaker 2 Was that on the Nintendo or Super Nintendo?

Speaker 3 I don't want to say. I don't want to say Nintendo.
I don't want to date myself. It was on Nintendo.

Speaker 2 Let's take the duck hunt out and then let's blow in it and hit it a bunch of times with a baseball bat so we can play the next video game.

Speaker 3 Adult, did you ever play the video game? I think it was called Lemmings. It was like a PC video game.
I played the computer game. Yeah, yeah.
That was a blast.

Speaker 3 Yeah, like the whole point was that like Lemmings will...

Speaker 3 Is this even true of Lemmings, but like Lemmings will

Speaker 3 follow each other off cliffs and stuff? Yeah. That was a rumor.
I don't even know what a Lemming is.

Speaker 3 Like a mink?

Speaker 3 I remember that game was tons of fun. And then there was also the game

Speaker 3 where you would be like earthworms and you would like shoot rockets at each other? What the fuck was that? That doesn't even sound familiar to me. Worms.
Worms. Worms.
That was a great game. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Also, Earthworm Gym was a great game. These are all games that I would like have nostalgia for, but if I ever played them today, I'd be like, this is a huge piece of shit.

Speaker 3 This thing does not work at all. So frustrating how slow it is.
Aaron, do you have a game like that?

Speaker 2 I mean, I would love. I mean, you know how I feel about Banjo Tooie.
Not Kazooie, Tewy specifically. Um, and them returning to that IP, I think, would be exciting.
But I don't hawk two, maybe.

Speaker 2 Oh my god, take all my money.

Speaker 3 If we're talking about IP, that I would love to be rebooted. I, when I was a kid, I loved Mavis Beacon teaches typing, and I would love for like Mavis Beacon to like teach other things too.

Speaker 3 Not necessarily sexual, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't.

Speaker 2 You're not ruling it out?

Speaker 3 I'm not ruling it out. If Mavis Beacon wants to be a little freaky, Mavis Beacon teaches aftercare.

Speaker 3 But I would like to see a series of Mavis Beacon teaches. Mavis Beacon teaches

Speaker 2 Jump rope.

Speaker 3 Jump rope. Yeah.
Mavis Speakin teaches freaking on the weekend. Yeah, Mavis Beacon teaches souffle.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Okay.
She can teach everything.

Speaker 2 I'm in.

Speaker 3 I'm in.

Speaker 2 Let's do. This is the first time we've ever agreed on something and it felt so strange.

Speaker 3 That was so weird. My body was like, I don't know where to go from here.
Whoa.

Speaker 3 Let's do one more of these.

Speaker 3 I'm going to say multi-level marketing, King Tut, the back of a $1 bill. A pyramid.
They all have pyramids. Pyramids.
Yes.

Speaker 3 I do want to see a scene. Okay.

Speaker 3 JPC, you are a multi-level marketing

Speaker 3 schemester, and you're trying to sell Erin. You're trying to initiate her into your MLM.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so any this is the entire suite of products.

Speaker 2 Sorry, I was just trying to order a tequila soda at the bar.

Speaker 3 Oh, I thought you were checking out my side display here of my suite of products.

Speaker 3 No, sorry.

Speaker 2 Oh, we went to high school together. I remember you.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry I didn't recognize you because I look so young.

Speaker 2 You look like you're wearing a lot of makeup and that your skin is sort of taped up behind your ears.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes, yes. And isn't that

Speaker 3 kind of what the display kind of is all about? Hey man, can you say that? She's looking young.

Speaker 2 Can I buy you a drink? Are you okay?

Speaker 3 Maybe a meal?

Speaker 3 I'm working right now at the bar, but I'm also kind of working on kind of this array of products and this display.

Speaker 3 You know what?

Speaker 3 You look so familiar to me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we went to high school together. You don't have to do this party.

Speaker 3 You would be be so good because you have one of those faces. I think you would be so good at direct in-person sales.

Speaker 2 We carpooled together.

Speaker 3 Jeffrey, to school.

Speaker 3 Most days.

Speaker 2 No, most days.

Speaker 3 To school. Because I was going to say.

Speaker 2 Hey, man, you don't have to do this party.

Speaker 3 The company actually gave me a car. My family actually gave me.
Purple Cadillac.

Speaker 2 No one wants that. My family actually pulled me out of an MLM like three years ago.
And I.

Speaker 3 Oh, so your time is free. You're open.
No, I'm. You're open to new opportunities.
I'm blinking

Speaker 3 love entrepreneurship and you're open to new opportunities

Speaker 2 hey um are they here

Speaker 3 are the

Speaker 3 products no no no the products

Speaker 3 blink twice

Speaker 3 here but they're in my garage and they could be in your garage too in every garage throughout America and I'm not blinking at all you're not blinking at so much

Speaker 3 am I am I blinking so much all right indicate where they are in the room and I'm gonna talk to them okay um oh so you would like to talk to

Speaker 3 kind of my up channel in the company to see about more operation exploring more opportunities but man can you do me a favor i'm really susceptible to this stuff so sure if i start obviously not because i've been giving you my a game and i'm getting nothing what are you talking about your fly's down your shirt's unbuttoned

Speaker 3 yeah covered in pitch

Speaker 3 i have my shirt tucked through the fly yeah because it catches the pit a cloaked man walks by sets down a briefcase opens it up walks away briefcase has an intercom system in it you wanted to talk

Speaker 3 is this him this is him i've never seen this briefcase in my life

Speaker 2 hey um hey is this a purple cadillac

Speaker 2 what

Speaker 3 are you a purple cadillac that can talk i lied about that i lied about that oh no i look fucking stupid man you look familiar

Speaker 2 oh my god we went to high school together We went to high school together.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 Oh my gosh. Briefcase.

Speaker 3 How are you? Good.

Speaker 3 See.

Speaker 3 I went to high school with a talking briefcase, and now he just happens to be at this bar. That's so crazy.

Speaker 3 I figure anyone who's the head of a MLM is someone who would communicate in sort of a mission impossible way. Oh, for sure.

Speaker 3 Someone just sets down a briefcase and opens it and you talk to them like Charlie, Charlie's Angels.

Speaker 3 It is so

Speaker 3 terrifying and sad how much of the economy is just MLMs.

Speaker 3 How much of the

Speaker 3 side hustle economy is just people and MLMs?

Speaker 2 It's also so devastating because it's so predatory to women and like young women and stay-at-home moms. And it's just so cruel that we're trying to find out.

Speaker 3 I know you're trying to find out. I'm going to feel better about it, Aaron, but

Speaker 3 it's like, even with that, I still can't get behind it.

Speaker 2 God, you can't be mad at a perfect joke.

Speaker 3 Aaron, anything you would like to plug or promote?

Speaker 2 I would say check out Hello from the Magic Tavern. I've been dipping my toes back in, listening to it again.

Speaker 2 I've been on the Patreon a couple times recently. I love that show.
It's as great as it ever was, and it's always been great.

Speaker 3 So check that out.

Speaker 3 And JPC was just recently on as one of my new favorite characters. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Chunt.

Speaker 3 You went on as Chunt.

Speaker 3 I went on as one of Adel's new favorite characters, Chuck the Badger.

Speaker 2 Addle, do you have anything to plug?

Speaker 3 Yes, I would like to plug and promote Gum Shoes and Dragons. It's the three of us and Anthony Birch.

Speaker 3 It's the three of us in Anthony Birch. It's a rollicking good time.

Speaker 3 If you enjoy us or you enjoy Anthony Birch and or Dungeons and Daddies or DD in general, please check out Gum Shoes and Dragons. JPC, anything to plug or promote?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, always check us out on the Patreon. We have some fun stuff coming up for the end of the year as well.
So patreon.com/slash Heyverdalriddle, five bucks a month. You get the bonus show.

Speaker 3 Eight bucks a month, you get the review crew.

Speaker 3 And I would like to also do a shout out to a five-star review. If you want to get a five-star review featured on the show, just leave a five-star review anywhere you leave reviews.
I might find it.

Speaker 3 Hey, I found one today from Barely Sushi. Barely Sushi writes a podcast for trying times.

Speaker 3 Hey, Riddle Riddle is a podcast that is perfect for cheering yourself up during trying times through pandemics, death of parents, even divorces, listening to Aaron, Adle, and GPC really helps make me smile and put things in perspective.

Speaker 3 Sure, bad things are happening in life, but at least you're not on a Riddle Improv podcast.

Speaker 3 Things could always be worse if you could be stuck forever with these three. At least you can turn off an episode and walk away.

Speaker 3 These poor SOBs have to go through every single second of every single episode. Five stars? Highly recommend.
You know what? It is important to keep perspective. It's important to keep perspective.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I feel, wait a a minute.

Speaker 2 I'm one of those idiots.

Speaker 3 Jupiter.

Speaker 3 Casey Tony did the editing.

Speaker 3 And Hardy Pierre did the music.

Speaker 3 Logo created by Emily Cardamis and Emily Morris.

Speaker 3 Hey there, Beaks and Bones. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon.
Addle, Aaron, and JPC join the Beacon Bones Society.

Speaker 3 You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com/slash hayriddlebriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or start your seven-day free trial, or the review crew for $8 a month.

Speaker 3 Plus, you get those ad-free episodes. See you there.

Speaker 2 That was a hit gum podcast.

Speaker 3 What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

Speaker 1 And Hannah Simone.

Speaker 3 And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now, here's the thing.
Every single week we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it.

Speaker 3 Like, we get up in there. We get up in there.
You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes tea.
We react to re-watching episodes that we haven't seen in years.

Speaker 3 We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog f ⁇ ing.

Speaker 1 That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the the biggest stars on the planet.
I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

Speaker 3 We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zoe Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Waynes Jr.

Speaker 3 And your dad, we talked to your dad on this show as well.

Speaker 1 Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.