Jason X LIVE! w/ Rob Huebel & Jenny Slate (HDTGM Matinee)

Speaker 1 In sports, five games were featured in hockey action last evening.

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Speaker 4 Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie. When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well.
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Speaker 6 Five, four, three.

Speaker 7 Oh, boy.

Speaker 8 Hey, guys,

Speaker 9 it's Will Arnett here from Smartless. And there's Sean.
Sean's in the room.

Speaker 10 Okay, I'm going to mention her.

Speaker 11 Jason, too. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 9 Anyway, I just want to point out that we are really honored. We're going to be the first ever live podcast show at the Hollywood Bowl on November 15th.

Speaker 8 The Hollywood Hollywood Bowl.

Speaker 14 Guys, please come help us.

Speaker 9 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 12 November 15th. Yeah, and you can go to smartlist.com slash live to get your tickets.

Speaker 9 Live Hollywood Bowl, Smartlist. Anything you want to say, guys?

Speaker 16 See you there.

Speaker 10 Sorry, we're out of time. We're out of town.

Speaker 17 Hey, everybody. Before we start today's podcast, I want to let you in on a little thing here.
Before the shows, we normally play the trailer of the movie we're about to talk about.

Speaker 17 It figures very prominently into today's show, The Trailer. So, I want to play you the trailer right now so you understand a reoccurring joke that happens throughout this podcast.
Enjoy.

Speaker 21 In the year 2455,

Speaker 21 on a routine training mission,

Speaker 9 a team of students

Speaker 21 is about to discover a life form

Speaker 2 frozen in time.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 They're on their way back.

Speaker 22 Prepare for Document

Speaker 22 You brought him on board?

Speaker 21 Everything's under control now.

Speaker 16 What the hell is going on? Chasing Voorhees, that's what's going on.

Speaker 23 He's an unstoppable killing machine.

Speaker 26 You have got to get them out of there.

Speaker 9 I think we're finally okay.

Speaker 16 What the hell is that? You've got to be kidding me.

Speaker 27 Oh, wow.

Speaker 10 He's been modified.

Speaker 16 Oh, yeah, thick.

Speaker 4 You guys might want to run.

Speaker 4 Let the body set the throat. Let the body set the float.

Speaker 24 Let the body set the float.

Speaker 24 Go

Speaker 24 fight.

Speaker 24 Go back.

Speaker 24 Go back.

Speaker 24 Go back.

Speaker 24 Go back.

Speaker 11 I don't think he's out there.

Speaker 16 Why don't you just stick your head out and have a peek?

Speaker 19 In space, no one can hear you say, eh?

Speaker 19 we saw Jason 10, so you know what that means.

Speaker 29 Sports a nigga grove, baby in his belly. Rock a rhinestone vest while whipping Justin DeKelly.
Or maybe see a burlesque show with hit crow. And take a vote with speed to hit and cruise control.

Speaker 29 J-Man, Big Paul, and the beautiful June. Gonna take you from the goof all the way to the room.
Random games of Street Fighter helped to blow off steam.

Speaker 29 Just to suck a punch to odd life for Timothy Green. Sharp needle to bird demic, how we staying alive.
They call it in the badass, and he's on the line. Cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice.

Speaker 29 Cause a bad Jim Barney looking kind and nice. Paul and June getting literal.
Jason is getting laid. June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid.

Speaker 29 They judge a bunch of movies while they're making the grade. Here's a real question for you.
How did this get made?

Speaker 30 Hello, people.

Speaker 30 And hello, people of Lord.

Speaker 19 in Los Angeles at Largo at the Cornet, our LA home and we love this place. It's so fantastic if you're in LA.
Come check out a show here. Not just our show, but the many amazing shows that are here.

Speaker 19 We have an amazing audience, a 10 o'clock audience. I know the people at home, they don't know what that difference is, but you guys

Speaker 35 bring the heat.

Speaker 8 You're a little bit more drunk.

Speaker 22 You're a little bit more alive.

Speaker 19 And we appreciate it. We need it because today is our Halloween episode.

Speaker 38 And what better way

Speaker 19 to celebrate Halloween than with the death of a franchise?

Speaker 19 Here to talk to me tonight

Speaker 19 about this film is my co-host, Jason Manzukas.

Speaker 43 Welcome.

Speaker 44 What's up, Jerks?

Speaker 19 Welcome, Jason.

Speaker 44 Thank you, Paul.

Speaker 19 Jason, a movie of your namesake.

Speaker 45 Oh, thank God.

Speaker 13 Finally, finally,

Speaker 20 all of the requests for this movie franchise to be talked about so that my name could be in it have been answered, and here we are.

Speaker 48 Jason X.

Speaker 12 Now, the movie about Jason Voorhees and Malcolm X combined

Speaker 45 into

Speaker 19 so many people had the Jason X hat.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 19 So many people.

Speaker 19 Jason,

Speaker 19 where do you fall in the Friday the 13th?

Speaker 53 When I tell you, zero,

Speaker 49 a lot of my notes are reminders to ask you guys or the nerds what the myth.

Speaker 56 It took me until the very end of the movie to be like, oh right no Jason is the main character

Speaker 45 well because I was like I think he's gonna kill all the people

Speaker 19 but here's the thing I find myself in the same camp I've seen a handful of Jason movies I think one of our guests tonight will have a little bit more knowledge than us but I believe that someone with our knowledge level wrote this movie

Speaker 19 Like, it didn't feel like it was a lot of deep dive.

Speaker 56 No, the person watched Aliens rewrote it, and instead of an alien, it was Jason, and they were like, that's the fucking movie.

Speaker 62 I literally...

Speaker 46 There's an Android, there's a ship, and all of it.

Speaker 63 It's the same.

Speaker 19 I literally feel like it was a fever dream that happened in 2001.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Like, Jason in space.

Speaker 19 And then that was about all the thought process.

Speaker 56 I feel like there was a phone call at one point.

Speaker 47 They was like, hey.

Speaker 56 You remember when you said Jason in space is a joke?

Speaker 36 We're going to do it.

Speaker 56 And the person was like, well, I I don't think you should.

Speaker 47 I was very much joking.

Speaker 19 There was an odd time, though, because the Leprechaun franchise, a movie we also did here on the show,

Speaker 13 also went to space.

Speaker 19 Leprechaun in space. I feel like there was a couple moments where, like, ah, fuck it, I don't know.

Speaker 40 Put them on space. Heightening.

Speaker 47 It's like that's just heightening.

Speaker 64 Well, where else do we got to go?

Speaker 66 Space? Space.

Speaker 47 Oh, I guess.

Speaker 33 I guess that's what we're doing.

Speaker 39 Well, to Fast and Furious in space.

Speaker 8 By the way,

Speaker 19 I don't want to take credit for this.

Speaker 47 I think Fast 10 is a mashup of the Fast and Furious movies with Apollo 10.

Speaker 68 I'll take it.

Speaker 19 I don't want to say that we did this, but I believe that we mentioned that it should be in space in our podcast. And then one reporter finally got a question to F.

Speaker 19 Gary Gray about it during the press tour, and he's like, you never know.

Speaker 41 It wasn't like, no.

Speaker 50 Yep.

Speaker 8 It was almost more like

Speaker 47 additional writing by, how did this get made podcast?

Speaker 57 Get us down.

Speaker 47 WTA arbitration.

Speaker 13 Do it.

Speaker 51 Let's bring out

Speaker 47 inside union, writing union jokes, right?

Speaker 19 Guys, we have a lot of specific material about arbitration.

Speaker 71 Stories, characters.

Speaker 60 After

Speaker 12 Writers Guild healthcare plans.

Speaker 19 We struck, we won, we were ready to go.

Speaker 12 There were a Writers Guild East and a West.

Speaker 50 Unclear.

Speaker 19 What if this whole show just became really a deep dive into who gets all the credits?

Speaker 31 This is based on a story by, obviously, characters.

Speaker 60 But screenplay by someone else.

Speaker 24 There you go.

Speaker 19 Tonight is a how did this game made all-star performance, which means that we have not one, but two guests who've been on the show before and are coming back again. Our first guest,

Speaker 19 you know this guy from the show show Transparent on Amazon.

Speaker 19 You also know him from movies like The House and Baywatch, but more importantly, as a brand new YouTube Red series, what he created.

Speaker 13 Please welcome Rob Hubel.

Speaker 19 I realized that I just said that you created a YouTube show, but I didn't give you the name. It's called...

Speaker 56 Oh, don't say the name of it.

Speaker 22 And

Speaker 19 it fits in perfectly here. Do you want to see a dead body? That's right.
And you can be watching that on YouTube, Red, right now.

Speaker 13 Right now.

Speaker 19 When this comes out, this is right now. So, Rob,

Speaker 19 I believe that you have a deep knowledge base of Jason.

Speaker 1 I heard you say that.

Speaker 8 That's not true. No, really? No.

Speaker 8 You don't have like.

Speaker 44 No, I like horror movies.

Speaker 8 I don't like these.

Speaker 74 Not especially.

Speaker 74 But I will say, I like the song in the trailer.

Speaker 75 Let the boys hit the floor.

Speaker 5 Let the boys.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 47 if I'm not wrong, you are going to sing our Second Opinions theme tonight later, right?

Speaker 62 If the theme somebody.

Speaker 5 Somebody said, Let the boys hit the floor.

Speaker 75 Let the opinions hit the floor.

Speaker 77 But I appreciate

Speaker 74 I don't have a huge knowledge. You don't.

Speaker 79 I've watched a bunch of them, but I was very little.

Speaker 13 Okay.

Speaker 64 Well, then I will put you into another story.

Speaker 7 I was a little boy.

Speaker 8 But you do have.

Speaker 19 You did almost severely injure yourself while wearing a Jason mask, though, right?

Speaker 52 I have a scar.

Speaker 80 Only you would know that story.

Speaker 74 I have a scar on my face

Speaker 64 that I.

Speaker 50 Fuck

Speaker 74 I have a scar on my face from a what I thought would be a funny prank when I was in college

Speaker 74 a bunch of us went away on like a date situation a bunch of couples went to a this sounds crazy

Speaker 20 is this an orgy

Speaker 79 I was hoping oh I hope my wife doesn't listen to this

Speaker 74 It was college, but anyway,

Speaker 74 we all went away for a weekend to a a summer camp somehow someone rented out the summer camp or like and so it was like you know 20 couples and so I was very excited I'm gonna keep this very brief I didn't know you were gonna say that

Speaker 74 and I thought oh well I gotta scare everybody like I do love being scared and I love scaring people so I brought a hockey mask and I brought a long blonde wig and I brought a hatchet with me and so the first night you know it was college like everyone's drinking and smoking weed and partying and I was like it got really late and I was like oh I can't wait I can't wait to scare everybody and so I put on my hockey mask and my wig and I went up and everybody was down in this like one um like cabin

Speaker 74 and I remember like sitting there like getting full on cane hodder like just like

Speaker 74 Like really and I started so I my I had my hatchet and my fucking wig and I was like running and I was my plan was I was just gonna like burst into this cabin and like scare everyone Well, I got I was running like as fast as I could, and all of a sudden, I thought someone stepped out from behind a tree and hit me in the face with a baseball bat.

Speaker 74 What it actually was, it was a children's summer camp where we were, and I ran into a clothesline,

Speaker 8 like a wire, like an old rusty wire,

Speaker 79 full speed, like as fast as I can run.

Speaker 74 And I can run like 60, 70 miles an hour.

Speaker 13 You're like a leopard.

Speaker 52 So, knocked off my anyway.

Speaker 74 I have a scar on my face.

Speaker 5 Thank you for this.

Speaker 19 I will say,

Speaker 63 that story, in that story, you do use the name of the actor who plays Jason.

Speaker 39 I do know.

Speaker 63 Which means you know more about this movie franchise than I do.

Speaker 83 Oh, we have a good Kane Hodder story.

Speaker 46 Yeah, we'll say, but we'll tell us Kane Hodder as we get into it.

Speaker 19 Our second guest tonight,

Speaker 19 fantastically

Speaker 18 funny performer.

Speaker 19 She does a show here at Largo, but she has a movie right now on Amazon Prime. It's called Landline.
You You can watch it right now. It's fantastic.

Speaker 19 She also is one of the stars of the new Netflix series, Big Mouth. Please welcome Jenny Slate.

Speaker 19 Welcome. Woo!

Speaker 19 Welcome, Jenny. Hi.

Speaker 19 Now, you are the person that now I felt bad that we made you watch this because

Speaker 19 you're not watching horror movies.

Speaker 85 Furious. I really didn't know that this would be the kind of movie.

Speaker 46 And in fact,

Speaker 56 we got you to agree.

Speaker 85 Let me tell you what, Jason. That he was texting to see if I was feeling okay because I had the flu for like 90 years.

Speaker 85 And then it was like, in the are you okay, blah, blah, blah. Do you want to do the show? I was like, okay.
And then I get a very formal email from Paul saying, be here, then, da, da.

Speaker 85 The movie is Jason X.

Speaker 85 I was like, you've got to be kidding me.

Speaker 85 I watched it a couple hours ago.

Speaker 85 I'm literally dressed like

Speaker 85 a man because

Speaker 85 I felt like

Speaker 85 so scared. I put my largest clothes on just to leave.

Speaker 47 So you felt as though you had no recourse from fear other than to dress as a man.

Speaker 76 Look at the world around you.

Speaker 20 In theory, in theory, protecting yourself from certain doom?

Speaker 56 Because the killer would be like, well, it's not a pretty girl.

Speaker 8 It's

Speaker 44 some man. Yeah.

Speaker 85 It's just a scared man. No one wants to talk to him.

Speaker 85 Who gives a hoot about that stuff?

Speaker 44 Who gives a crap about that? Don't come along.

Speaker 19 I will say, though, I think you got off really easy because on the scare factor, this is not that scary.

Speaker 75 No, it's not scary at all.

Speaker 54 Not scary.

Speaker 49 There's a couple of gross out moments, but that's really it.

Speaker 85 A lot of gross stuff.

Speaker 19 i would say the gross stuff has nothing to do with killing

Speaker 19 and chases i would say that there's two that i can think of and they both have to deal with nipples oh

Speaker 69 yeah

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Speaker 89 A PSA from Instacart. It's Sunday, 5 p.m.
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Speaker 4 We're here. Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie.
When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well. From roof repair to emergency plumbing and more.
Done well.

Speaker 4 well so the next time you have a home project leave it to the pros get started at angie calm

Speaker 85 what really stunned me about this film and really the my mouth was open the whole time I just can't believe any of it but that at the beginning when they're trying to decide whether or not to freeze first of all I don't understand why Jason's so upset but that's another thing but secondly and I haven't seen any of Jason's other movies but

Speaker 85 they're like should we freeze and should we not And then the scientist goes, This is the grossest thing I've ever heard. I want him soft.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 88 No, I wrote that down too.

Speaker 59 I don't.

Speaker 19 Well, first of all, let's just even step it back and go. Sorry.
No, no, no, you were right. I'm just saying that Crystal Lake was a campground.

Speaker 19 And when this movie opens, it's the Crystal Lake Research Facility.

Speaker 36 So,

Speaker 19 in some years, this

Speaker 19 kids' camp has now become like a science facility.

Speaker 91 Yes, that checks out.

Speaker 69 That totally checks out. You know what?

Speaker 13 I will get on board for that.

Speaker 54 Why?

Speaker 23 Other than our main,

Speaker 63 the main woman who lives

Speaker 90 to be in the future with him, you've got Jason, you've got like six dudes that he kills, and then it's a giant facility with nobody else in it.

Speaker 45 That is completely fine.

Speaker 52 It's a very big facility.

Speaker 5 It's enormous.

Speaker 74 When the middle of the scientists, it looks sort of like Matthew Modine.

Speaker 95 Yep. I was like, is that

Speaker 96 Cronene?

Speaker 7 No, no, no, not.

Speaker 47 Oh, yeah, that's David Cronenberg.

Speaker 45 In the very beginning, in the beginning, the guy that

Speaker 85 wants to be.

Speaker 6 Don't you worry about it.

Speaker 7 Okay, great.

Speaker 48 Blah, blah, blah. That's David Cronenberg.

Speaker 71 Well, by the way, David Cronenberg is like, oh, no, Cronenberg?

Speaker 30 And Cronenberg sets up something.

Speaker 8 He was there for like a day then.

Speaker 68 Oh, I think an hour and a half.

Speaker 8 He was there for 45 seconds.

Speaker 19 Cronenberg sets up something that I don't believe is canon of Jason. And here you go.
Take a listen.

Speaker 26 What are you here

Speaker 26 I'm taking the specimen well you can't I have him a cryostasis chamber

Speaker 2 I don't want him frozen Rowan I want him soft

Speaker 98 you've already discussed this yeah well I had to go over your head I'm moving him to our scrand facility dr.

Speaker 26 Wimer you can't risk transporting him through open country this isn't open for discussion

Speaker 98 His unique ability to regenerate lost and damaged tissue on it just it cries out for more research and you're willing to risk the deaths of innocent civilians if he escapes.

Speaker 88 Yes.

Speaker 98 But I'm sure Sergeant Marcus and his men can handle the transfer just fine. Sergeant, everything's under control, man.

Speaker 12 You know what? We're not gonna light him at all.

Speaker 56 We're gonna have Cronenberg lit, and the other guy, he's in the shadow.

Speaker 32 Shadow.

Speaker 19 The other guy looks like the guy who was like Rambo's buddy in Rambo.

Speaker 19 But no, but I didn't know that was a part of Jason's lore that he could just regenerate like a vampire.

Speaker 33 Throughout the movie, it's as if Jason Voorhees is Wolverine yeah it's and that I don't think will be I don't know if they ever

Speaker 74 I don't know if they ever said it per se

Speaker 74 like implied that like that he can come back

Speaker 85 is he a ghost is he dead does he have a soul

Speaker 99 first of all I don't know I wrote these questions does Jason what is Jason I wrote Cronenberg exclamation point

Speaker 59 what is Jason

Speaker 101 which for me is an existential note

Speaker 85 Right. That's not even about the film.

Speaker 56 No, that was not about the film.

Speaker 85 That was just your stuff.

Speaker 10 That was really Jason.

Speaker 47 I just, that's from when I was just looking at myself in the mirror.

Speaker 80 The first thing I wrote down,

Speaker 74 the writer who wrote this, is named Todd Farmer, and I wrote, Keep Your Day Job, Farmer.

Speaker 82 And I'm not going to say that.

Speaker 47 He's a farmer. He's a farmer.

Speaker 57 He is a farmer.

Speaker 19 Because, I mean, Jason has no motivation. As a character, he is just like, he's like a movie.

Speaker 5 Well, this is the dominant movie.

Speaker 46 Did he ever?

Speaker 102 Yeah,

Speaker 85 I asked my friend who I watched the movie with because I was too afraid to watch it alone.

Speaker 5 You have friends. I'm sorry.

Speaker 85 I can't help it.

Speaker 28 I love being popular.

Speaker 11 I mean, come on.

Speaker 60 I get it. I watched it alone.

Speaker 56 I had an existential crisis.

Speaker 47 I get it.

Speaker 56 You have friends.

Speaker 82 I was telling you.

Speaker 52 Go ahead, sir.

Speaker 85 Well, he said that Jason got pushed into a lake a long time ago and he's upset.

Speaker 22 It's not.

Speaker 85 But that's what, guys, that's what I heard.

Speaker 102 That's what I heard.

Speaker 85 But why is he mad right when he wakes up right now?

Speaker 47 Your friends are morons.

Speaker 19 Well, I will say that on the commentary track, the writer did admit to never seeing the other movies.

Speaker 41 Wow.

Speaker 19 And here, if you want a quick, if you want a quick look back at the Jason films, part one,

Speaker 19 Jason's mother is Jason. She's stalking and murdering.

Speaker 30 She is Jason?

Speaker 19 Yes. She's She's wearing the mask.

Speaker 19 And she is stalking and murdering the teenagers of Camp Crystal Lake

Speaker 19 because Jason drowned in the lake due to their negligence.

Speaker 31 So that's a cool idea.

Speaker 19 She's decapitated.

Speaker 56 So it's the end. A revenge story for the mother.

Speaker 46 Yes.

Speaker 14 So let's go to Outer Space.

Speaker 19 No, and part two, Jason is alive, and he's a fully grown man. He returns to Crystal Lake to guard it from intruders.

Speaker 19 Five years after the event of the first film, Jason murders a new group of campers, and then the final girl finds a shrine in the woods to Mrs. Voorhees' head, and then Jason kills her with a machete.

Speaker 66 This reminds me of when I was a little boy.

Speaker 8 Oh, no,

Speaker 19 she kills Jason with a machete. Part three: Jason removes the machete from his shoulder and finds his way to a local farm where he hides in the barn and kills anyone who comes in

Speaker 19 and then finds a hockey mask to hide his face.

Speaker 15 And then it seemingly.

Speaker 23 Is that when the hockey mask arrives?

Speaker 30 Well, I mean.

Speaker 47 Is there no hockey mask in previous movies?

Speaker 57 I think it had to be.

Speaker 46 Maybe. There wasn't.

Speaker 5 Oh, wow.

Speaker 103 You shit. That's a mouse.

Speaker 49 Thank you for that information.

Speaker 47 Wait, what?

Speaker 19 It's almost at the end of the third movie. Oh, it's almost at the end.

Speaker 31 So Jason finds out the music.

Speaker 49 In the early movies, what is he wearing on his dumb face?

Speaker 19 You see him from the back.

Speaker 96 Bag is bad? A bag.

Speaker 69 Oh, yeah, he's wearing a bag.

Speaker 5 He's wearing like a burlap set.

Speaker 86 Like a burlap set?

Speaker 8 Yeah, yeah. Is that right?

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Wait, for real?

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 24 In that first movie, he's not into not wearing anything.

Speaker 16 It's just his mom. His mom's nude?

Speaker 19 Not for nothing.

Speaker 34 Considering yourself about to be watched Friday the 13th one.

Speaker 51 So if you can't hear.

Speaker 105 Are there nude moms in this movie?

Speaker 54 What do you think my preferred channel on Pornhub is?

Speaker 19 So if you couldn't hear it clearly enough,

Speaker 19 first movie, Jason's mom is wearing nothing.

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 65 Second movie, Jason's wearing a bag over his head.

Speaker 19 Third movie, bag until hockey mask. Then we go into, he's seemingly killed by an axe to the head in part three.

Speaker 19 Then the final chapter starts with Jason killing everyone in the morgue that he's taken to.

Speaker 45 Then he returns

Speaker 85 killing everyone in the morgue in the movie.

Speaker 4 They're already gone.

Speaker 42 Sounds like a bit ridiculous.

Speaker 85 We both really, you know,

Speaker 8 open the drawer.

Speaker 48 Stab, stab, stab, step, stab.

Speaker 19 It's to build up his self-confidence. He was, he was, to Jason's point, he did get an axe in his head, so he thought those people were alive.

Speaker 19 Then he returns to Camp Crystal Lake, kills everyone, and then a character named Tommy, who's at the cabin near the camp, kills Jason.

Speaker 19 Then a new beginning starts with Jason, with Tommy being committed to a mental distribution, while Copycat takes on Jason's

Speaker 19 Jason's likeness. Then Jason lives.

Speaker 23 Wait, Tommy becomes Jason? Yes.

Speaker 19 Then Tommy visits Jason's grave and accidentally resurrects him.

Speaker 19 Wait a minute.

Speaker 7 Accidentally?

Speaker 81 I think there was like a lightning bolt.

Speaker 19 Yeah, lightning strikes the grave.

Speaker 81 I was such a little boy.

Speaker 54 And then Tommy...

Speaker 74 By the way, lightning and electricity can reanimate anyone.

Speaker 44 Always. Always.

Speaker 59 Always.

Speaker 19 And then it gets crazy. Then he's like chained, put to the bottom of the lake.
Then part seven, Jason's telekinetically resurrected by Tina, who was trying to bring back her father. I want to see her.

Speaker 19 And then Tina returns Jason to the bottom of the lake. And then part eight, Jason goes to Manhattan.

Speaker 7 Shit.

Speaker 45 Where he works for Meryl Streep and is

Speaker 56 dating Adrienne Grenier.

Speaker 47 Not a lot of people know that Jason Voorhees was originally cast in the Devil Wears product.

Speaker 47 And they shot 30% of the movie with him and were like, it's not working.

Speaker 65 It didn't work.

Speaker 19 Then he's melted by toxic waste, and then,

Speaker 19 and Jason goes to hell the Final Friday. Jason is resurrected, but we don't know why.
The FBI is hunting him and then kills him.

Speaker 19 He survives by possessing different beings until his niece stabs him with a magic dagger and sends him to hell.

Speaker 71 So that's.

Speaker 78 Wait, isn't there a Jason Freddy movie?

Speaker 19 Yes, but that's not canon.

Speaker 22 Oh.

Speaker 19 That is a side.

Speaker 15 That's like a one-off. That's like the new hope.

Speaker 19 That's like a side movie going.

Speaker 10 Not New Hope, I mean Rogue One. Sorry.

Speaker 22 Oh, oh, oh. Sorry.

Speaker 54 Well, Rogue One is still can.

Speaker 19 Just a side movie.

Speaker 68 It's not part of your trilogy.

Speaker 73 Can I ask a question? Yeah.

Speaker 47 And we might not have answers, but one of these dildos might.

Speaker 99 When and why is he obsessed with his machete?

Speaker 54 And also, where did it come from in this movie?

Speaker 8 He's all chained up.

Speaker 80 He's got this old one that he sees on.

Speaker 56 He's all chained up in the prison.

Speaker 97 And then when he's free, he's like, got my machete.

Speaker 95 Yeah.

Speaker 85 He has it when he's frozen.

Speaker 102 When they unfrozen, before they freeze him, though.

Speaker 49 Before they freeze him, he's all chained up in the opening scene, right?

Speaker 5 Right.

Speaker 101 Also, is the opening credits take place in hell?

Speaker 85 They take place inside an hell.

Speaker 81 It's inside the body.

Speaker 44 Ah, okay, okay.

Speaker 47 I wasn't paying good enough attention.

Speaker 83 That was like inner space. Have you seen the movie Inner Space?

Speaker 103 Yes. Yes.

Speaker 85 And not to bring up that I obviously watched this with a very cool friend, but that's what my friend said.

Speaker 50 Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 79 Am I your cool friend?

Speaker 85 No, I watched it with another cool friend. You're cool.

Speaker 47 I didn't watch it with anybody, so I didn't have any.

Speaker 108 Can I tell you how I watched this, Paul?

Speaker 74 We're very briefly, we're sleep training our baby right now, which don't have babies.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 84 so basically, what that means is you just let your baby cry and

Speaker 74 you don't go in there, and then they figure out, like, oh, I'm going to be okay.

Speaker 78 So I was.

Speaker 12 Or they realize you don't love them.

Speaker 1 So I was watching the

Speaker 79 movie with one headphone in right by her room and watching the baby monitor like this and it was fucking the baby monitor was what was scaring me because you know it's just like a little tiny person like ah

Speaker 74 I will say something I'm like that's dumb

Speaker 47 okay by the way you need to score your baby monitor to let the bodies hit the floor

Speaker 75 hey babe come here look at this let the bodies hit the front!

Speaker 20 Just your adorable child.

Speaker 19 I watched this movie on an airplane because I needed to cram it in before I got back here.

Speaker 47 Ooh, never say the phrase, cram it in again.

Speaker 44 And I was

Speaker 5 soft.

Speaker 103 I'd appreciate it.

Speaker 27 I like them soft.

Speaker 12 Ooh, cram it in while it's soft.

Speaker 19 I was sitting next to a child, and the.

Speaker 40 My child?

Speaker 19 Yes. Who was doing fine?

Speaker 8 Who was fast asleep?

Speaker 54 Who's fast asleep?

Speaker 82 You're sleep training my baby on a plane.

Speaker 19 And you know, that's how you're supposed to do it, by the way.

Speaker 31 They don't tell you that in the books.

Speaker 19 You take your baby,

Speaker 19 plane train him.

Speaker 97 Plane train an automobile.

Speaker 19 So I'm watching this movie on an airplane next to a child. I feel like the first thing, the kid looks over at my iPad and sees somebody's head get sliced off.
I'm like, ooh.

Speaker 19 and I kind of like cover up my iPad, and then I'm watching it further, and then there's that scene with like the two girl campers, and it's the only time that like real nudity is in the movie.

Speaker 40 I'm like, ah, and then I turn it like this.

Speaker 64 There's real nudity earlier in the movie,

Speaker 30 very little with the robots' nipples,

Speaker 5 they fall off, it was so clinical.

Speaker 103 The nipples fall right off.

Speaker 34 We'll get there. Okay, okay, sorry.

Speaker 54 I have a 30-minute

Speaker 19 So I got nervous and the nudity came on with the kid that I turned my iPod, or my iPad out to the aisle, which meant that I was just flashing.

Speaker 1 Hey, anybody want to get a look at this?

Speaker 67 Check it out.

Speaker 19 It was so, I was like, oh, I was really mortified. And then I was like, now I'm like this fucking creepo who's like watching like a Jason movie on my iPad.

Speaker 19 Like everyone's like watching like Baby driver and Spider-Man.

Speaker 8 I'm like, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Like you're watching like legit trash.

Speaker 19 Like and I bought clearly bought it. It's not even on the seat back entertainment.

Speaker 37 I was like, I gotta watch this shitty.

Speaker 93 I don't wanna watch what you've got.

Speaker 56 I've got my own, what I think is better.

Speaker 81 That's the that's the message you're sending is my watching is more important than what you have on offer

Speaker 19 I tried to make my note-taking really apparent because I just didn't want it to be like, well, clearly you're doing it for some sort of

Speaker 60 quill and a bottle of ink.

Speaker 67 Taking notes, taking notes.

Speaker 20 Well, just me taking notes.

Speaker 108 I have a, just to back up, a question about this opening scene, and then we should probably move on.

Speaker 83 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 74 Why am I driving the podcast?

Speaker 54 You know what?

Speaker 48 This is a hostile scene.

Speaker 74 But isn't this the scene where they go in and Jason's chained up and then they come back and you know and the guy puts the coat over his face? Isn't that just stolen from Silence of the Lambs?

Speaker 74 That is the scene from Silence of the Lambs.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 19 No,

Speaker 19 I feel like this guy, this writer, didn't have any issue with that. He said the movie is based so much on alien that he named one of the characters after Tom Skerritt's character in the Alien film.

Speaker 19 Like, he names

Speaker 19 every single character, like the cowboy hat fucking coke.

Speaker 79 Yeah, like

Speaker 56 everybody.

Speaker 61 It is, it really is just man Scarrett.

Speaker 47 I mean, like, the guy's a legend.

Speaker 49 I was gonna talk about Alien War, and then I was just like, me, we need more Tom Skarrit in the world.

Speaker 104 Just saying

Speaker 57 mustache.

Speaker 101 Oh, I'll sit in this. I don't care.

Speaker 19 All right, so here we are.

Speaker 5 We're at Camp Paw Paw.

Speaker 5 Scary.

Speaker 5 All right, let's go.

Speaker 19 So here we are at Camp Crystal Lake Research Facility, a place that's seemingly uninhabited with no lights and very damp.

Speaker 31 There was like literally water on the floor.

Speaker 19 They have this test subject. He's a serial killer.

Speaker 19 They want to hold, they yet let him keep his hockey mask on, which seems like they would, I think that you'd want to see what was under the hockey mask.

Speaker 70 Or

Speaker 41 you wouldn't have to let him know.

Speaker 74 There's a weird line where they're first assessing him where they say that hockey has been outlawed.

Speaker 103 Well, that's in the future.

Speaker 85 In 2024

Speaker 85 was

Speaker 85 when they outlawed hockey.

Speaker 50 But they don't tell us why hockey has been outlawed.

Speaker 19 Football's still going on on Earth 2 in this movie, Hockey.

Speaker 8 Our technology.

Speaker 56 The guy realizes it's a hockey mask,

Speaker 100 and I was like, obviously, they're in the future, but they're like 450 years in the future.

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 47 Like, I don't think a hockey mask would be that recognizable.

Speaker 19 Yeah, if it's been outlawed for that long.

Speaker 80 But also, their technology,

Speaker 74 they're using like, you know, FaceTime.

Speaker 53 Oh, they are also wearing half shirts.

Speaker 85 They're wearing, they're all in Chamille sweaters.

Speaker 99 Everybody's wearing half shirts.

Speaker 85 Why are they wearing that that in a lab? Like, she's like, go to him in Operation in so horny a sweater.

Speaker 85 Why are they, those two dwarfs are so horny and then they just go and pick up the ship.

Speaker 5 Why don't you guys come back when you're more focused? Yeah, and they're like, okay, we will.

Speaker 59 Yeah, whoa.

Speaker 85 That's crazy science.

Speaker 8 Transplanting all of the horniness of summer camp onto a spaceship was

Speaker 62 so weird.

Speaker 19 A spaceship out of a CW show, and I mean that and no offense to CW.

Speaker 8 It's just a

Speaker 67 offense to CW yeah it's just

Speaker 84 really bad graphics it's like so

Speaker 5 CW on blast

Speaker 85 there's some also there's some digital blood in this that is also really bad when the guy gets his arm cut off like there's some I like had to go back and go just fucking try like try to make the blood spurt the first arm that gets cut off of like the dork by the way why would he be allowed on that science expedition he's like a dumbass he's like the stupidest why would they have brought him and he needs it is he can't have that kind of hair if you work in the lab sure have your hair out

Speaker 47 i know you think it's moose from step up and it's not

Speaker 8 um

Speaker 19 so basically but we won't even know like so you know jason is accidentally frozen this space crew comes like salvaging earth one but we don't even know what this crew is there they don't seem like they have any job like in an alien they're like oh they're like space truckers essentially like you know on you know serenity they're like pirates you know they're kind of doing clandestine stuff here it just looks like a bunch of young good-looking people who are kind of all equal scientists it's like a school it's like a mobile school yeah

Speaker 82 yeah oh yeah right there is a school element because the guy's a professor because of and he loves his nipples to be yang yeah even 450 years from now he's still 450 years from now he's wearing current day like negliges what was the line that the girl says

Speaker 85 about her midterm that you know, right? When she's like, do it, do it, and then he goes, you pass.

Speaker 85 Which is like such a funny thing to say at Orgasm.

Speaker 67 By the way, some of you guys,

Speaker 15 you may guess in this audience, two of you are going to have sex tonight.

Speaker 54 Scream, you pass.

Speaker 54 You pass.

Speaker 47 Or if you're listening to this on the podcast with your lover,

Speaker 54 scream, you pass. You pass.

Speaker 14 Let's us hear it in real time here.

Speaker 68 Good.

Speaker 11 Right there?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Come on. Come on.
You pass.

Speaker 99 That device is too big.

Speaker 19 I thought when she first brought it in, it was gyneological equipment.

Speaker 50 Dude, that's what I thought.

Speaker 19 I don't like this already. And then I didn't like this more than the thought of the thing that I didn't like.

Speaker 45 What do you think?

Speaker 91 My question is, is this the tool's intended use?

Speaker 85 Or is this a maybe she just grabbed it? She's like, I'm about to see Professor and just grabbed it on her way from the lab.

Speaker 85 She was really thinking about the rose, yeah.

Speaker 20 Like something that is like hedge trimming shears in size.

Speaker 48 Oh,

Speaker 46 the other thing. Is she having sex?

Speaker 111 She has her underwear.

Speaker 85 That's the other thing that I was just about to say, and then I just stopped myself because I was like, I don't know if I can live through what I'm about to say.

Speaker 85 You go, Rob.

Speaker 14 Well, when I have sex,

Speaker 47 if you die, we will have lightning strike you to reanimate you.

Speaker 19 And then, apparently, this man

Speaker 19 climaxing is what awakes Jason.

Speaker 40 Like, wait, really?

Speaker 85 Yeah. He doesn't like horniness.
Yeah,

Speaker 19 that's the one thing that we need.

Speaker 111 He doesn't.

Speaker 14 But he hates fucking teens.

Speaker 19 He doesn't hate fucking teens.

Speaker 80 He hates teens that fuck.

Speaker 69 But he hates fucking teens.

Speaker 5 He hates fucking teens.

Speaker 80 He fucking hates fucking teens.

Speaker 80 He can smell jizz.

Speaker 8 He can smell jizz.

Speaker 19 But he immediately kills the person who was bringing him back to life, who seemed to be the only one that was doing her job.

Speaker 37 Yeah, by the way,

Speaker 74 that was really violent.

Speaker 19 Her entire body was sucked out of a four-inch hole vent.

Speaker 85 And before she got sucked, she said, this sucks.

Speaker 62 Yeah, on so many levels.

Speaker 85 Yeah, this sucks on so many levels.

Speaker 74 By the way, not to pull the rug out from under us, but at the beginning of the movie, they set up that they can reanimate arms and everything. Who cares if anyone gets killed?

Speaker 81 We'll bring them back.

Speaker 80 It doesn't matter if any of us get killed.

Speaker 77 Like,

Speaker 14 why would we possibly be upset?

Speaker 77 It's like, oh, okay, except for the girl that got sucked through the through the vent.

Speaker 19 But here's my other issue with this whole movie ultimately. You bring the serial killer on.
I get it. That has to be the conceit of the movie, right? You got to get this guy on.

Speaker 19 But it's a confined space where all you need to do is sound an alarm, say, hey, everybody, stay in your bunks.

Speaker 19 There is no seemingly zero communication between anyone at any given point. There's no intercom.

Speaker 12 There's so many ways this could have been avoided.

Speaker 6 I mean, this movie.

Speaker 47 You could have not asked me to watch it.

Speaker 8 The link I had could have been broken.

Speaker 47 There's so many ways I could have avoided watching this.

Speaker 99 No, they are constantly.

Speaker 12 That's where I was like, I had to readjust and be like, oh no, these movies are this.

Speaker 15 These movies are, it's all about the kills.

Speaker 47 It's all about people making dumb decisions and going to the basement when they shouldn't.

Speaker 56 Or like when the dude is like on the run and he's like, wait a minute, quick, we got to get to the shuttle, but should I fuck my robot that I just made?

Speaker 85 That's the craziest.

Speaker 93 Like, yeah, I think I fucking should.

Speaker 89 A PSA from Instacart. It's Sunday, 5 p.m.
You've had a non-stop weekend. You're running on empty, and so is your fridge.
You're in the trenches of the Sunday scaries.

Speaker 89 You don't have it in you to go to the store, but this is your reminder. You don't have to.

Speaker 89 You can get everything you need delivered through Instacart so that you can get what you really need, more time to do whatever you want. Instacart for one less Sunday scary.

Speaker 4 We're here. Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie.
When you use Angie for your home project, you know all your jobs will be done well. From roof repair to emergency plumbing and more.
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Speaker 4 So the next time you have a home project, leave it to the pros. Get started at Angie.com.

Speaker 18 You love bad movies. I love bad movies.
I also love good movies. And there are a lot of great movie podcasts out there.
But the one I want to talk about today is one of my favorites.

Speaker 18 It's called The Confused Breakfast, okay? It's like your best friends hanging out in someone's basement give you hilarious takes on bad movies, movies that you don't even have to really re-watch.

Speaker 18 You just know them. They're in your body.
From Howard the Duck to Street Fighter to Anaconda and Cocktail. They also dive into great films like the Big Lebowski, Pulp Fiction, and Back to the Future.

Speaker 44 And they have theories.

Speaker 18 I mean, they have a theory that Carl Winslow from Family Matters was dreaming up. die hard, right? He's in a mental institution and that was coming from his brain.

Speaker 18 Or they even go into theories about Jenny from Farce Gump maybe being the worst villain in movie history. Yes, this is your favorite movies dissected in ways that you never quite thought about.

Speaker 18 So, if you're looking for another comedic movie podcast, subscribe now to The Confused Breakfast. You will not be disappointed.

Speaker 80 How did they do the nipple effect?

Speaker 79 So, that actress they covered up her real nipples and then put fake plastic nipples on there, so much so that when they fell off, I was like, oh my god,

Speaker 19 her nipples fall off like a like your refrigerator lost magnetism. It's like

Speaker 85 zero time.

Speaker 56 I assumed it was like a computer. It was like a computer effect.

Speaker 15 Do you think it's practical?

Speaker 19 They feel like they're CGI effects.

Speaker 47 I think it's a computer. Here we go.

Speaker 46 But listen to the sound they make.

Speaker 79 They're not going to be money on that.

Speaker 19 The sound that they make is what really makes it disturbing.

Speaker 94 What do you think?

Speaker 21 Do you like them?

Speaker 89 They're fine.

Speaker 8 It sounds like

Speaker 20 two Seka Jawea silver dollars hitting the ground.

Speaker 19 So if he did put on steel nipples, what is he getting out of that either?

Speaker 58 Also, who manufactured those in space?

Speaker 47 She was like, I want you to make me some nipples. And he was like, I'm busy.

Speaker 72 Really?

Speaker 48 I've got a lot to say about this movie.

Speaker 12 Why is when Jason is still dead, not dead, but like, yeah, dead.

Speaker 15 When they are, when Blondie, who gets smashed,

Speaker 49 when she is kind of doing stuff, she

Speaker 12 carves his mask off of his face, blah, blah, blah. Why is the goop that leaks out of his head green?

Speaker 85 Yeah, why is it?

Speaker 73 Again, and I wrote it again.

Speaker 48 What is Jason?

Speaker 16 Also,

Speaker 19 why did she need to clearly cut off the mask? But then, seemingly the mask stayed, like, she just kind of smushes it back off.

Speaker 85 She puts it on in like a non-medical way. Like, that's not the way a doctor would put your thing back.
Just like putting, just like just putting a sticker.

Speaker 74 She takes his eyeball out and just looks at it and then like freezes it.

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 74 Puts it in a thing.

Speaker 80 Yeah.

Speaker 77 Also, sheer,

Speaker 74 I forgot this character's name.

Speaker 84 What's her name in real life?

Speaker 78 Is that Alexa?

Speaker 22 Doig.

Speaker 112 Doig. What is it?

Speaker 47 D-O-I-G-Doig, I'm assuming. Like no Doig.

Speaker 79 And so her first. Does anybody know what it is?

Speaker 74 Her first line when she wakes up, this movie was made in 2001. She wakes up in 2455.

Speaker 75 The first words out of her mouth are, did you get him?

Speaker 52 That's the first, like, her first order of business.

Speaker 83 Ooh, it was cold when I was frozen.

Speaker 104 Well, first she clocks.

Speaker 60 Yeah.

Speaker 78 She clocks that guy, first of all, which is hilarious.

Speaker 19 By the way, Jason's machete, when

Speaker 19 we believe, goes through like metal, steel, like cryogenic chamber, like a hot knife through butter, like to

Speaker 19 kind of get her killed too. But like that machete, someone should look into that.
That machete seems like it has some powers.

Speaker 63 He's obsessed with this machete.

Speaker 12 Like I would argue like the machete is like his true love.

Speaker 19 It's almost as if this movie was written by someone who never saw any of the Jason movies.

Speaker 108 But this professor guy or this teacher guy, his whole motivation is it's like a weird, like, he just wants people to pay to see her.

Speaker 1 Remember, he says, like, he says, like, oh, people will pay money to see her.

Speaker 80 She was for, and then she goes away, and then it's like, or whatever.

Speaker 74 And then, so then he's like, people pay money to see Jason. Like, he's like some carnival animal or something.

Speaker 19 Which you know, that's not gonna work out well at all. And he'll just kill everybody.
Yeah,

Speaker 19 it's, it's a, it's a weird, it's a weird movie because they're just running. They're

Speaker 19 There's no deliberate, like, there's no

Speaker 19 reasoning with Jason. There's no reason why he has any grudges with any of these people.

Speaker 19 They have not done anything bad to him, but bring him back to life.

Speaker 19 And, well, that's it.

Speaker 103 It's interesting.

Speaker 58 He's like a Frankenstein type figure,

Speaker 73 but there is no, like,

Speaker 97 there is no understanding.

Speaker 45 It really is.

Speaker 44 We're looking at it the wrong way.

Speaker 74 I think the way that you're supposed to look at it is he is the hero.

Speaker 100 We love him.

Speaker 8 We're rooting for him.

Speaker 6 Yeah, for real.

Speaker 46 Like, we're rooting for him, and we're paying attention.

Speaker 37 To kill all the dumb dumbs while we beat off.

Speaker 74 Although this movie is very hard to beat off, too.

Speaker 19 You can find your moment.

Speaker 32 What do you mean you can find...

Speaker 19 Look, I was on a plane, so it was a little bit more challenging.

Speaker 74 Can I tell our bummer story about Jason? Okay, the guy, the actor that plays Jason in real life, is named Kane Hodder, and I'm scanning the audience as if I know what he looks like.

Speaker 82 So, hopefully, he's not here.

Speaker 74 But one time, Sheer and I were at something in New York.

Speaker 83 It was like a Comic-Con type, but not Comic-Con.

Speaker 19 It was a very low-level horror convention

Speaker 100 in New Jersey.

Speaker 19 Yes, like in a hotel.

Speaker 56 Wait, are you sure it was a horror convention, or were you just in New Jersey nailed it?

Speaker 33 Wow,

Speaker 56 that's right, New Jersey.

Speaker 33 Kaboom.

Speaker 33 That feel.

Speaker 84 So it was one of those things where you go and there are people, you know, there are the signing booths.

Speaker 74 And so Kane Hodder, Jason from the movie, is there, you know, and you pay 20 bucks to get his autograph or whatever.

Speaker 14 So it was very close to Halloween, like it is.

Speaker 74 Not when this podcast comes out. And so the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life was a probably...

Speaker 47 Keep in mind, you have a child.

Speaker 36 Yes.

Speaker 47 The cutest thing you've ever seen in your life, though, is this.

Speaker 8 This is cuter than...

Speaker 77 this is cuter. My child is a crybaby.

Speaker 74 No, this, so, so there was a mom there with like a three-year-old boy in fucking full-on Jason garb.

Speaker 74 Tiny little overalls, tiny little hockey mask, like three years old, like, you know, bare, like doing this.

Speaker 74 And his mom is there, sees Kane Hodder there, like, you know, he's got a big poster or whatever. And she's like, go on, go on, go on up there.

Speaker 14 And so the little boy is just like,

Speaker 81 and goes up there.

Speaker 74 And he gets up to Kane Hodder, the person in real life, and Kane Hodder goes, 20 bucks.

Speaker 84 20 bucks to the little kid.

Speaker 74 So I couldn't help but remember that as I was watching this movie that, like, oh, that guy.

Speaker 84 What a surprise that Jason is a bad dude in real life.

Speaker 8 Edit out the pause, Paul.

Speaker 78 Take out this pause. Take out this pause.

Speaker 47 No, you know, let's just sit and listen.

Speaker 57 Take it out. Take it out.

Speaker 7 Let's just pause.

Speaker 19 So, Jason

Speaker 19 is on this ship that has an anchor in it.

Speaker 19 The spaceship has an anchor.

Speaker 15 Yeah, because you have to anchor your spaceship all the time.

Speaker 8 Otherwise, it'll float away into space.

Speaker 100 And so many rooms full of

Speaker 53 space things. You see the

Speaker 67 say, drop anchor.

Speaker 15 Star Wars, drop anchor.

Speaker 45 Star Trek, Mr.

Speaker 13 Sulu, drop anchor.

Speaker 19 They just need to get him in rooms with chains and like giant, like, they just put like, oh yeah, put an anchor. We'll put some in on an anchor.
And like that,

Speaker 19 I'll give into that. But what I don't like is the abuse of VR in this movie.

Speaker 71 These two kids are playing VR,

Speaker 11 and Jason murders the VR orc.

Speaker 19 And it like exists in the game.

Speaker 49 Jason is able to, without his own set, without anything,

Speaker 73 into the game they're in,

Speaker 73 participate,

Speaker 50 and then when they take the masks off, he's just standing there and the video game disappears and he's like, what's going on?

Speaker 19 And to me, why not just make the smarter choice of not making the people in the future wear any sort of VR masks? Yes. Like make it like a huge.

Speaker 46 Everybody is in a thing. Yeah.

Speaker 19 No, but they have the two guys like sitting down on like two carpets.

Speaker 85 And why are they sitting on the floor like that? Like, where is that the game room, or do they just sit down?

Speaker 30 Like,

Speaker 30 where are they playing their VR?

Speaker 85 Like, how people 400 years ago watched television.

Speaker 56 Yeah,

Speaker 74 I was more psyched about those monsters.

Speaker 83 Like, it was such a misdirect.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, cool.

Speaker 74 Now we're going to see some fucking cool monsters. And then it was like, oh, this is a fucking VR sim or whatever.

Speaker 56 I don't know. Technology.
You know what furthers

Speaker 47 your hypothesis that Jason is the hero is that every human being in this movie is a fucking asshole.

Speaker 85 Yeah,

Speaker 85 the only nice one is the woman who puts his mask back on. She's like, poor thing, or something like that.

Speaker 85 He really ruins her head.

Speaker 8 Yeah, and look what she got.

Speaker 54 Like,

Speaker 58 these fucking dummies

Speaker 15 single-handedly destroy Solaris

Speaker 7 without a hair in the middle of the day.

Speaker 87 Oh my god, they never existed.

Speaker 28 No repercussions.

Speaker 73 How many hundreds or thousands of people?

Speaker 102 How many thousands of people they killed on that thing?

Speaker 85 Just

Speaker 85 a smash. They drove through it and it looked.

Speaker 107 And then it explodes and they're like, oh, my God!

Speaker 6 Back it up.

Speaker 8 They are awful people.

Speaker 97 And I guess that was maybe, for me, the thing that was giving me a little bit of tension.

Speaker 50 I was like, well, these people are terrible, but Jason is the protagonist.

Speaker 61 I think what I'm not used to.

Speaker 8 Well, my.

Speaker 44 I mean, I'm the protagonist in my life, I feel like.

Speaker 47 So I understand where Jason could be the protagonist.

Speaker 85 Right, you just feel, you feel like it's just about Jason.

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 59 Most things are.

Speaker 60 Yeah. My Zook X.

Speaker 74 One of my main beefs is the poor commitment to jolts on the spaceship.

Speaker 103 Yeah.

Speaker 74 You know, because like everyone's going in a different direction.

Speaker 108 Like Solaris blows up, one guy goes that way, someone goes like this, someone else goes like, whoa!

Speaker 99 You know, it's like Star Trek level.

Speaker 47 Yeah, like original series Star Trek level, like, oh!

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 85 But the robot woman is actually good at the jolts. She's got a lot of jokes that she's like.

Speaker 111 Lisa Ryder is her name.

Speaker 53 Lisa Ryder is far and away crushing it in this movie.

Speaker 19 Just interesting, you know, obviously one of the big reveals of this movie is when the robot like becomes full-on Terminator. She gets an upgrade and like

Speaker 22 upload.

Speaker 68 Sorry.

Speaker 85 So does that mean he just like keeps like he just like booked it up?

Speaker 60 And they're like,

Speaker 85 You're better now.

Speaker 12 They're trying to get to the pod, and he's like, wait a minute.

Speaker 99 And they have like a moment that is romantically charged, but I don't think she understands romance.

Speaker 85 No, I think she does. She loves him.
That's why she wants her nipples. Is that it? Yeah, because she wants to be like Janessa.

Speaker 62 Also, you memorize.

Speaker 5 There's a character 450 years from now named Janessa.

Speaker 102 Who has a fourth of a blouse?

Speaker 8 Which I have a lot of trouble with.

Speaker 38 Whoa, really?

Speaker 20 Janessa.

Speaker 85 Yeah, the guy writing it was like, what's the name of a sexy girl

Speaker 85 who will like me, basically? Like, he just, like, you know, he falls in love with her while he's writing it. He just loves Janessa.
Janessa.

Speaker 44 Todd Farmer walked down the street.

Speaker 85 Yeah, he's like, shoot, you gotta change it.

Speaker 56 You know, that, like, someone from Todd Farmer's past is like, is this about me?

Speaker 47 And he's like, no, Vanessa, why would you say that?

Speaker 85 Janessa's shirt is like the most insane garment I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 85 Yes. And one, and it's like, it's crazy.
It's just like two strips down in titties like that. And then, and then with like weird bolts, right?

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 85 And then, and also, my, my pants just are completely broken.

Speaker 85 I can't, I can't stand up like this.

Speaker 80 By the way, they say that in the movie.

Speaker 74 They say, she says, don't wreck my pants.

Speaker 8 Don't wreck my pants.

Speaker 5 Don't wreck my pants.

Speaker 8 That was a great box.

Speaker 72 That should have been on the box.

Speaker 85 But there is a part where, like, they're doing something that's like tough, and she, like, she, like, makes sure that her shirt's on, as if it was ever really on.

Speaker 16 Like,

Speaker 19 yeah, she should have been wearing something. Everyone in that spaceship should be wearing more.

Speaker 38 More.

Speaker 19 Yeah, that, like, it's weird to say for a horror movie, put on more clothes, people.

Speaker 85 Except for during the sex scene when they should be wearing less.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Even the military people are like pornographically dressed.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 19 I will say this is interesting. So when Jason is killed, he's reformed.
Now, if you listen to the podcast, you know we did a movie called Virtuosity and the way that Jason came back was

Speaker 19 an idea stolen from virtuosity. Wow.

Speaker 44 Literally?

Speaker 8 Yes, truly.

Speaker 19 This is on the commentary track. The writer, Todd Farmer, lifted this idea of nanotechnology from virtuosity.

Speaker 19 He said he thought it would be cool.

Speaker 7 Because it worked in that movie?

Speaker 69 Worked in virtuosity.

Speaker 80 But it's also, it's not just nanotechnology, it's just ants.

Speaker 60 Like at one point, they cut to like an extreme close-up, and it's just fucking bugs.

Speaker 35 It looks like I think they're robot bugs.

Speaker 11 Yeah, they're nanotechnology.

Speaker 60 Robot bugs.

Speaker 52 Well, yeah, of course, but still,

Speaker 8 you've got a bug problem.

Speaker 79 It's a fucking bug problem.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Just to give you an idea of other ideas that Jason could have been in instead of space, these are the ideas they passed on.

Speaker 19 Alright, so Jason in the hood.

Speaker 45 Jason.

Speaker 19 Jason in the snow.

Speaker 19 Jason underwater.

Speaker 19 Jason in the Arctic.

Speaker 97 Jason.

Speaker 52 Totally different, bro. Totally different.

Speaker 14 You've never been to the Arctic.

Speaker 35 Yeah,

Speaker 19 one could be like the thing and one could be like snow day

Speaker 19 The other one Jason and LA fighting gangs

Speaker 19 The other one Jason on Safari and they even considered something involving the NASCAR circuit

Speaker 8 Wow, yeah that

Speaker 19 the um I did Sheer, did you have any thoughts on the sim at the end the crystal lake throwback where that's where I was showing nudity to people on my airplane. Yeah,

Speaker 19 that's an odd sequence because that's like one of those rare moments, too, where like I felt bad because it felt like gratuitous.

Speaker 19 Like, you like, there's no, like, how could you get anyone to even do it? It's like, hey, so this is not integral to the part, the plot. This is something like, you know, you like.

Speaker 74 What are our lines? Well, you're going to yell, we love premarital sex.

Speaker 47 And then we get into sleeping bags and are beaten to death with each other's body

Speaker 60 using the sleeping bag as a weapon.

Speaker 56 So they cut back to Jason Voorhees and he's holding a sleeping bag with a girl in it and he's clobbering the other girl.

Speaker 22 The other girl

Speaker 42 sleeping bag with that girl.

Speaker 7 I will say.

Speaker 19 I will say that there's a lot of like weird production design in it, but I did feel like the sleeping bags were not full enough. Like they felt

Speaker 8 like period.

Speaker 91 The audio, wait a minute, the audio track was like, ow, ow, ow.

Speaker 85 Yeah, I couldn't understand what the audio was. I was like, is the sim glitching? Are they laughing still? Because they're like looking up at the camera and just like.

Speaker 56 Also, how is the sim prepared for that scenario?

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Like, what?

Speaker 47 I don't know that it's that that's within the

Speaker 8 I don't know.

Speaker 74 He was he was using he the the the boyfriend of KM was using her severed head

Speaker 85 and somehow checked that into the sim thing right and she was downloading that program am i wrong can i also say i love km but i also like the scientist i liked her boyfriend i like that guy

Speaker 85 to me it was the most relatable character let's go let's all go around and say who our favorite dummy was

Speaker 33 mine was the robot yeah

Speaker 19 i loved her non-magnetic nipples i loved when she became like laura croft tomb raider at the end i i i would go with my favorite was, and I think this is him, Boyd Banks, who played Fat Lou,

Speaker 19 who was the guy who was like, yay, what the hell?

Speaker 75 He's from Fat Lou.

Speaker 82 No one ever says my name, but you know who I am.

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 54 Fat Lou.

Speaker 94 He has necklace trips.

Speaker 47 Kids and their dumb field trips, I bet I'm going to catch shit for this.

Speaker 20 And then he gets chopped into

Speaker 93 like a gajillion pieces.

Speaker 56 Then the other guy comes up and is like, oh, this is a nightmare.

Speaker 99 But I've seen worse.

Speaker 53 What?

Speaker 85 Yeah, that's never

Speaker 96 explored that at all.

Speaker 46 Are you going to explain what

Speaker 76 stopped worse?

Speaker 30 The movie

Speaker 7 wasn't.

Speaker 93 No, he's seen worse in, like, then he refers to some war that they fought.

Speaker 8 Oh, the Microsoft.

Speaker 7 Microsoft.

Speaker 97 Where people were fighting each other with their own limbs.

Speaker 8 Microsoft.

Speaker 64 Over old zoons.

Speaker 74 By the way, also, one of my favorite lines is,

Speaker 32 it's going to take more than a poke in the ribs to

Speaker 81 put down this old dog.

Speaker 5 Flink!

Speaker 54 That ought to do it.

Speaker 56 That was a great line.

Speaker 45 Yeah.

Speaker 19 But it's like, that's where that movie was weird because it's like, they were going for jokes, and I like that joke a lot, but then they would also, like,

Speaker 19 they would treat some things like, like, that I think worked. But then there was another moment where, like, what's his condition?

Speaker 27 He's screwed.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 115 Oh, yeah. Why did I go? That's like

Speaker 19 there? That was her friend.

Speaker 36 He's screwed.

Speaker 85 And why were they never shocked when people were dead? They're not in a war. They're scientists.

Speaker 85 They should be like, if they see one dead person that isn't like part of their lab, which they don't keep clean, they

Speaker 20 should be like...

Speaker 1 The only time

Speaker 19 calm and be like, hey, hey, everyone. The only time they did that is when they ran out, like one door opens and there's like a security guard dead.

Speaker 114 And then they go like, ah!

Speaker 113 I was like, you don't even fucking know that guy.

Speaker 99 Yeah, also, also, the guy who she says he's screwed, it's a visual joke, or it's a visual line for her.

Speaker 93 The person on the other end should be like, what do you mean?

Speaker 85 Yeah, wait, so

Speaker 85 what are you talking about if he's late?

Speaker 75 He's been mine and has been impaled on a screw.

Speaker 107 He's like, what do you mean?

Speaker 54 He's screwed.

Speaker 45 Why are you saying it like that?

Speaker 30 Oh, because there's a giant screw in this room, and he's a bad guy.

Speaker 93 Oh, his body has impaled on a giant screw.

Speaker 41 Okay, got it.

Speaker 8 Okay. That's good.

Speaker 34 Really? That was good.

Speaker 19 Let's go to the audience. Audience, do you have any questions, things that we haven't talked about?

Speaker 57 I know we haven't talked about a lot, but anything else?

Speaker 56 The scene where

Speaker 20 he is.

Speaker 22 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 19 Sir, your name, your question.

Speaker 34 My name's Matt.

Speaker 109 I'm just wondering if we can go over the fact that they say they executed him three times. They went from electricity to firing squad to hanging, and then they just jumped to cryogenically freezing.

Speaker 19 Well, I think that that actually makes sense.

Speaker 19 You know, I feel like at a certain point, you're like, well, we can't kill him, so let's

Speaker 54 freeze him.

Speaker 83 Yeah, let's put him on hole.

Speaker 85 I think they also said that checks out.

Speaker 104 Scientifically, that checks out.

Speaker 57 No, it doesn't check out.

Speaker 47 Of course, it does.

Speaker 15 Like, here's the thing.

Speaker 23 If you want that guy gone, chop him into a million pieces.

Speaker 81 They did that.

Speaker 14 They blew off his leg. They blew off his foot.

Speaker 8 But that's in this movie.

Speaker 19 Yeah, but yeah, but if the nanotechnology wouldn't have come back, he would.

Speaker 19 I I mean, again, they knew that he regenerated, so why would they leave him in that room alone?

Speaker 85 Why did they leave him on the regeneration slides?

Speaker 20 Also, why does he regenerate, question mark?

Speaker 85 Because of the bugs.

Speaker 113 But they can regenerate all of their friends.

Speaker 5 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 19 Sir, your name, your question.

Speaker 116 My name's Devin.

Speaker 80 Why do we need their names, Paul?

Speaker 85 I like it. I like it.

Speaker 85 I like it.

Speaker 82 Devin is using a fake name.

Speaker 8 The people at home.

Speaker 58 You're telling me that guy's dead.

Speaker 85 That guy's name Devin.

Speaker 87 Yeah.

Speaker 85 His name's Devin.

Speaker 22 Nope.

Speaker 39 I don't buy it for a fucking way.

Speaker 7 Paul!

Speaker 76 Paul?

Speaker 47 Get his license.

Speaker 19 See you, let's check out your license. All right, Devin, if that's your name, your question.

Speaker 116 So early when the lady that travels through, or it's frozen and going through time,

Speaker 116 she, yeah, when she's getting thawed, the robot says this line that I think is just either miswritten or something. She's saying, I think she's supposed to be saying cellular, but she says celery.

Speaker 8 Wow.

Speaker 76 First of all,

Speaker 68 good catch.

Speaker 8 Paul, Paul, that's not a question.

Speaker 68 That's not a question.

Speaker 35 It could be observations.

Speaker 19 We're taking observations and questions.

Speaker 63 So you're telling me she says celery?

Speaker 64 No, now I got to watch the whole movie again.

Speaker 19 She's going through celery regeneration.

Speaker 85 Celery regeneration.

Speaker 83 I will say, to Devin's point,

Speaker 5 I thought

Speaker 5 fake news.

Speaker 80 It did seem like there were more than a couple flub lines that they didn't even try again.

Speaker 85 It seemed like there was a moment when Miss Doig forgot her line and ran into a room and was like,

Speaker 20 We have to get to like this.

Speaker 85 And I was like, okay, I know what that is because I've done that myself.

Speaker 102 You don't know what you're saying.

Speaker 62 We got it. Let's move on.
I know what's going on.

Speaker 73 Moving on.

Speaker 99 Check the gate.

Speaker 19 Your fake name and your question.

Speaker 22 Oh,

Speaker 117 well, my real name's Corrine, and that sounds fake enough, so let's just go with that.

Speaker 117 So when the guard, or when that Maureen or whatever she is, finds her friend impaled, and she's like, oh, he's been screwed.

Speaker 110 He hasn't even been screwed. It's a drill.

Speaker 117 Like, it's not even a screw. So my question is, what do you guys think about that?

Speaker 85 What about this? What about this?

Speaker 85 He's dead. This is not a drill.
Oh, wait, it is.

Speaker 85 Fuck it.

Speaker 85 Yeah.

Speaker 19 You got a little bit of a standing ovation.

Speaker 96 Thank you.

Speaker 111 That's most like sports.

Speaker 33 We'll give you the clever wordplay.

Speaker 19 All right, your name, your question.

Speaker 19 My name is Scott. In Graydon Undercover shirt.

Speaker 44 Name. Great and undercover.

Speaker 19 This is great.

Speaker 19 So

Speaker 116 when the professor is with the Space Marine, he's like, do you have all your kids?

Speaker 19 He says, yes, I've got them all.

Speaker 116 They immediately cut to the Bobo Holodeck where they've got these idiots playing games.

Speaker 19 That's Todd Farmer.

Speaker 19 The bald idiot that gets cut in half is Todd Farmer.

Speaker 50 Really? Oh.

Speaker 19 Todd Farmer, also the writer-director of Drive Angry, the Nicolas Cage movie that we did on this podcast,

Speaker 8 and was also

Speaker 19 killed in that as well.

Speaker 82 Paul, we have not even touched on the last minute of the movie where Jason comes.

Speaker 85 Yeah, no, sorry, sorry.

Speaker 62 Yeah, where Jason comes at us, and then Brodsky comes in and tackles him, and then like Iron Man flies him back through the atmosphere, burning him up, and they become a shooting star.

Speaker 113 And then two horny teenagers go, oh, a shooting star, Mako.

Speaker 19 Are we not going to talk about like, by the way, I would argue the best part of the entire movie is what you just said.

Speaker 82 I think Todd Farmer started with that. Am I wrong?

Speaker 74 Friend of Todd Farmer?

Speaker 19 All right, your name and your question.

Speaker 25 My name is Rachel, and I know that, like, the bad guy sneaking up on the unsuspecting people are kind of like the thing with this movie.

Speaker 85 But the...

Speaker 25 The rules about how he moves around the set are bonkers. He like teleports from one room to another.

Speaker 25 And the one that drove me the most crazy is that girl is when he's coming back to life because all the people are having sex.

Speaker 25 He moved his leg, she turns around, nothing. He shifts his hand.
He just kind of clenches it.

Speaker 5 Nothing.

Speaker 8 He sits up, gets up off the table, nothing.

Speaker 25 She's like, no, I don't hear that bit.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 74 Yeah, there's a weird angle there where like they're kind of like showing her spine. Like, you know, she's in that like cut off shirt and they're, and it's like he's twitching.

Speaker 74 And it's just like showing that like she's a vulnerable human or something.

Speaker 1 Like it's really, I was upset by that.

Speaker 74 I'm also sleep training my baby.

Speaker 19 So by the way, I was thinking.

Speaker 34 We get it.

Speaker 12 You've got friends.

Speaker 56 If you have unprotected sex, we get it.

Speaker 14 Once, one time.

Speaker 73 Gross.

Speaker 19 I mean, this is also, I will say to your point, a person who at that point in the movie is wearing chains. So when he would move, you're hearing the rattling.
You're always going to hear the rattle.

Speaker 47 You would also think when he sat up his hockey mask would fall to the ground

Speaker 91 There's a there's a sorry go ahead.

Speaker 25 I mean there's another point where like he's supposed to be in one other room. It's in the beginning the guy falls through the door and he's dying.
She's like, oh, what happened? What happened?

Speaker 112 He's in the room.

Speaker 24 He threw him through the door.

Speaker 112 She turns around.

Speaker 25 He's in the hallway. How did he get there?

Speaker 87 Did he go around?

Speaker 24 Where is the other door that he came through that he just teleported over there?

Speaker 66 We're not going to have an answer for you.

Speaker 56 I'm worried about you because you seem genuinely upset about this.

Speaker 101 We have no answer.

Speaker 19 She has created like a JFK monument in our house.

Speaker 7 But you're so sorry.

Speaker 56 You're positing a theory where there's another Jason.

Speaker 56 It's because this is the magic Jason.

Speaker 69 Yeah, yeah, there's a magic Jason.

Speaker 47 There has to be another Jason on the grassy knoll.

Speaker 74 But you bring up a good point that there is so much sneaking up behind people that it's like it's ridiculous.

Speaker 81 Like I like it this movie could be called just look behind you.

Speaker 36 Just like one.

Speaker 80 Everyone's just backing up, backing up.

Speaker 74 No one ever goes, I'll just look where I'm going.

Speaker 19 By the way, how about this?

Speaker 19 They introduced this so late in the film. There is a ship that they could just easily all get on and then leave Jason on the main ship and get the fuck out of there.
But he's not blocking it.

Speaker 19 They don't have to get like...

Speaker 82 But then the one girl blows it up.

Speaker 19 right? But they, but it would have been so easy, like, hey, let's all go to that one ship, right? Like, they're like, it's like, oh, Jason, but then what would we all be doing?

Speaker 8 We wouldn't be doing, we wouldn't be here.

Speaker 13 And again, again, you're acting as if that girl or those people are the characters we're following.

Speaker 15 Right. And it's not.

Speaker 33 Jason is the character we are following.

Speaker 44 And my only

Speaker 19 thought again is.

Speaker 47 And Lexi Doig, I guess.

Speaker 8 Lexi?

Speaker 75 Alexis?

Speaker 94 Alexa?

Speaker 19 Alexa. Oh, no.
Now we just turned on everyone's Alexis at home.

Speaker 19 Oh.

Speaker 107 Alexa?

Speaker 35 Alex. Alexa Doig.

Speaker 67 Alexa, search Alexa Doig.

Speaker 93 Alexa, play Steely Dan, Peg.

Speaker 8 The other thing.

Speaker 42 Alexa, what's the weather?

Speaker 20 Oh, this is fun.

Speaker 75 People in her are like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 50 Oh, come on.

Speaker 75 Alexa, play, let the bodies hit the floor.

Speaker 5 Alexa, wake the baby.

Speaker 75 Alexa, fuck you.

Speaker 15 Alexa, tell me a joke.

Speaker 99 Alexa, tell me a dirty joke.

Speaker 19 I have an Alexa, and I got an email every week. It's like, do you like comedy? Ask Alexa to tell you a limerick.

Speaker 73 Ew.

Speaker 73 You get that email every week?

Speaker 47 I would lit Jake kill myself.

Speaker 19 I keep it around because I want to know what the new latest skills I could teach my Alexa are.

Speaker 7 I don't do any of that. A

Speaker 60 limerick. A limerick.

Speaker 19 I just like to be like, do you like comedy? Then ask Alexa for a good limerick.

Speaker 19 I would like this movie to be Jason running around with the mask constantly falling off.

Speaker 19 Just that, like, just the slabs that go

Speaker 36 killing someone.

Speaker 19 Oh, fuck, where is it?

Speaker 35 Where is it?

Speaker 86 The contacts are in that mask.

Speaker 45 They've done 10 of these.

Speaker 47 How have they never done one that's just like the airplane version of this movie?

Speaker 32 Sir, your name and your question.

Speaker 118 My name is Ryan, and unfortunately, it is a bit of a statement, but I have some insight that relates to this movie.

Speaker 22 Are you Todd Farmer?

Speaker 24 Yes.

Speaker 22 I have a limerick.

Speaker 112 No.

Speaker 118 I can explain Kane Hodder's sour disposition.

Speaker 112 Okay.

Speaker 118 So, Freddy vs. Jason is canon.

Speaker 85 Oh, damn. All right.

Speaker 118 This is something that fans campaign for, and Kane Hodder and Robert England both campaigned for it. Conventions and stuff, probably like the one you went to.

Speaker 118 When it finally was going to happen, all the rights came together in the different studios and whatever.

Speaker 66 At the end of Jason Goes to Hell.

Speaker 118 Jason sinks into hell, literally. The mask is all that's left.
And the last scene in the movie is Freddy's hand coming up out of the ground and grabbing it.

Speaker 47 So Freddy lives underground in hell.

Speaker 112 Jason goes to hell, apparently.

Speaker 66 He has an apartment.

Speaker 66 He has a timeshare.

Speaker 112 So years and years of

Speaker 112 campaigning.

Speaker 118 Like, this was like Kane Hodder's life was campaigning for this movie to get made.

Speaker 118 They made the movie with Robert England as Freddy. Some other dude is Jason.

Speaker 76 Oh.

Speaker 19 And this is Kane Hodder here in this one. So you think that Kane Hodder is just...

Speaker 118 Kane Hodder's been a bitter individual ever since.

Speaker 85 Oh, you're saying, I'm sorry, I thought this whole story was about why Jason is always trying to kill everyone, but you're just

Speaker 7 like,

Speaker 5 hold on and Kane Hodder well now I want to know more because I don't know he's probably a nice guy I'm sure and also I don't want to get murdered like please

Speaker 47 Kane Hodder don't I'm glad you said that because up until now because we've been friends for a long time I've considered you someone that wanted to be murdered no no no I

Speaker 19 no let me be clear I do not want to be murdered he said no love said he'll always deny it on a podcast but he definitely wants to be murdered Alexa don't murder Alexa murder Rob Hubel please

Speaker 49 Alexa put Rob Hubel on my do-not-murder list

Speaker 67 as per his instructions.

Speaker 67 Alexa?

Speaker 19 Obviously, we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions.

Speaker 110 Stupid logic, idiotic. That's what critics are saying.

Speaker 41 Great action.

Speaker 109 Super Bactin.

Speaker 110 That's what I am seeing.

Speaker 56 Top that.

Speaker 41 Top that.

Speaker 110 I got a second opinion about that.

Speaker 42 Top that. Stop that.
Top that.

Speaker 35 Stop that.

Speaker 110 It's my second opinion. So don't try to stop that.

Speaker 2 Give it up. Give it up for Mike.
Wow. Good job.

Speaker 7 Mike with a top

Speaker 22 that

Speaker 43 second opinion theme

Speaker 19 from the great film Teen Witch.

Speaker 42 Teen Witch Callback.

Speaker 19 I will say I did not know where I was going to begin with, and I was really happy.

Speaker 82 He got more confident as the song went along.

Speaker 56 Yeah, that is the power of Teen Witch.

Speaker 82 If you're having a bad time, Alexa, play Teen Witch Top That.

Speaker 47 That was great. Mike, great job.

Speaker 99 You should be proud of yourself.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 78 All right, here we go.

Speaker 47 I still have a problem with those shoes.

Speaker 19 This one is written by Gerhalt in 2001. Fake name.

Speaker 19 I have a message to all the critics who I'm sure are readying their pens to dump all over this latest installment.

Speaker 60 Their quill pins.

Speaker 100 Don't bother.

Speaker 19 We know the acting will probably be horrible and the story won't be poignant or meaningful and it doesn't matter.

Speaker 19 If it's Oscar caliber performances you want, go see Captain Corelli's mandolin.

Speaker 88 Whoa!

Speaker 2 Somebody has to.

Speaker 22 Whoa.

Speaker 73 Alexa, play Captain Corelli's mandolin.

Speaker 19 Leave us in our slasher film alone. It doesn't need to make sense or even tie into part nine.
All we need is Jason and his hockey mask and nudity and blood.

Speaker 30 Wow.

Speaker 71 And that's it.

Speaker 19 I've been a fan of Jason since 1982 and I plan to be here to the bloody end. Pun intended.

Speaker 19 Five stars.

Speaker 66 Sign little Rob Hubel.

Speaker 5 Baby Hubes.

Speaker 34 This one is a weird

Speaker 19 10 fingers, 10 toes, not enough to count the bodies.

Speaker 19 Basically, I watch Jason movies because of the high body count.

Speaker 8 But this movie went to

Speaker 68 fall.

Speaker 30 Oh, wow.

Speaker 19 Jason kills 20 to 25 people, and that's not counting the thousands he helped blow up.

Speaker 85 And Solaris. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 94 Yeah.

Speaker 50 Wow.

Speaker 19 Jason's mind is gone. As soon as he sees someone, they're dead.
It's the best Friday the 13th movie ever.

Speaker 102 Five stars. Wait, I thought.

Speaker 43 That's a lot weird.

Speaker 19 It really takes that.

Speaker 85 The road turned upside down and then he drove his car upside down.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he was like, I don't like it.

Speaker 60 And I actually.

Speaker 8 His mind is gone. His mind is gone.

Speaker 86 But his business.

Speaker 85 His mind is gone, guys.

Speaker 15 It is interesting because they say his brain is so small.

Speaker 47 Yeah. You know, that at some point, so like, but his dick is very big.

Speaker 43 Okay, Paul.

Speaker 22 Wait, what?

Speaker 46 Yeah, why did you focus on that one line?

Speaker 8 What said about Paul? That's the thing that you took away from me.

Speaker 96 Well, because

Speaker 19 there is? I thought it was weird because she said, but his dick is so big. And then

Speaker 84 she says she's hung like a mammoth.

Speaker 79 Oh, okay.

Speaker 22 All right.

Speaker 8 He's hung like a mammoth. Why do you know that?

Speaker 7 Yeah, Paul.

Speaker 54 And she says, I bet he's hung like a mammoth.

Speaker 46 Yeah, then you just decided it's true.

Speaker 8 And if shrugged.

Speaker 80 And Brett also just look at his dead, limp dick and find out.

Speaker 12 There's one way to figure this out.

Speaker 67 Alexa, how big is Jason Voorhees' penis?

Speaker 90 Which Jason Voorhees.

Speaker 56 Alexa, how big is a mammoth's penis?

Speaker 19 This is one of my favorite reviews here from Mr.

Speaker 19 Bayvine. Mr.
Bayvine. One of the guys looked like Lawrence Fishburne, and I thought he was until I found out he wasn't.

Speaker 19 For anyone that didn't know, the X in Jason X means the tenth one.

Speaker 19 The actors did a good job, and that one girl actually took the dead guy's gun. I've been wanting someone to keep the guy's weapon every time I watch a horror movie.

Speaker 19 Overall, I'd say this is the best Friday the 13th ever.

Speaker 57 Five stars.

Speaker 50 Wow.

Speaker 85 You know, the other thing I just want to ask is: does this movie take place on Friday the 13th?

Speaker 7 No. No, okay, okay.

Speaker 56 Because there is no Friday the 13th in space.

Speaker 59 Right.

Speaker 30 On Earth 2, they've outspoken it.

Speaker 47 That does make me, it does make me kind of begs the question: what is Jason?

Speaker 14 I still haven't gotten an answer for you.

Speaker 30 Yeah, well, you know, we're going to show that into you guys.

Speaker 101 What is Jason?

Speaker 73 Do you know?

Speaker 19 No? He's a shooting star, bro.

Speaker 19 And then finally, this is a very heavily edited review,

Speaker 19 like eight, nine paragraphs here from Techno

Speaker 19 Machinima 1996.

Speaker 19 And I'm just going to read the final paragraph.

Speaker 22 It's pronounced Machina. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 19 Techno X. But there's no X, so it's Techno Mach.

Speaker 19 It's not even spelt like that.

Speaker 5 This is before Machina.

Speaker 19 Overall, if you're looking for a unique sci-fi horror experience, if you like to look at attractive and decidedly sexy people, if you're into Jason and Friday the 13th, but need something different, if you like super awesome special effects, if you like action, if you like humor, if you like sex appeal in your horror movies, and you want to see Jason in a whole new way, well then, this movie's definitely for you.

Speaker 68 Five.

Speaker 52 Super awesome special effects.

Speaker 65 Really? What? Why?

Speaker 103 Why? What is Jason?

Speaker 73 What is Jason?

Speaker 23 Why, when Jason gets, you know, fixed by the ants, does he get turned into like

Speaker 59 Bane?

Speaker 85 Yeah, why is he so much more like ripped?

Speaker 44 Yeah, he's jacked and he's half metal and he's like, it's like he gets.

Speaker 80 Because the ants fucked him.

Speaker 8 They all fucked.

Speaker 80 If you got fucked by ants, you would be so.

Speaker 30 Oh, so you think that is a

Speaker 5 sexual process?

Speaker 19 Why wouldn't they regenerate his skin and why would they regenerate his mask? Yeah. Like, because it's nanotechnology.

Speaker 28 Why were his better face?

Speaker 14 Why were his eyes red?

Speaker 55 Smoking that weed, bro.

Speaker 45 He's because he is

Speaker 69 a replicant, right?

Speaker 19 The replicants all have red eyes. Oh, is that right? Okay, guys, sorry.

Speaker 40 Didn't mean to go crazy with my Blade Runner now.

Speaker 105 He looked like Elijah.

Speaker 7 I also watched that on the Blade Runner hot take.

Speaker 31 Yeah, my Blade Runner hot take.

Speaker 85 Oh, I said I thought he looked like Bebop or Rocksteady, like from the original Teenage New Ninja Turtle. With a little bit of Krang, because his head's head's so brave.

Speaker 5 I have a question too.

Speaker 56 I would maybe like say Legend of the Ooze more, but let's see.

Speaker 52 I have a question too.

Speaker 74 At the very end where those the horny teens see the shooting star of Jason and Brodsky, they're on

Speaker 94 Earth. Earth 2?

Speaker 78 Okay, that's what I want.

Speaker 66 On 2, which is somehow habitable?

Speaker 91 Because I was told... Yeah, because we destroyed Earth.

Speaker 64 Yeah, but I thought all planets were uninhabitable.

Speaker 66 No, just Earth.

Speaker 8 Regular.

Speaker 46 I'll edit that out.

Speaker 73 Earth 2 is fine.

Speaker 91 Alexa, is Earth 2 still habitable?

Speaker 19 Does anyone want to take a swing at what the tagline might be for this?

Speaker 66 Don't wreck my pants.

Speaker 19 It is this Halloween meet the perfect 10

Speaker 19 in terror. Now what is interesting about that is this movie came out April 26th.

Speaker 85 And also, wait, I'm sorry, and this is, you might just also have to edit this out because it's a genuine question. This movie is not from the Halloween series either, right? No.

Speaker 95 Okay, so, okay.

Speaker 68 Yeah, yeah, this Halloween.

Speaker 84 Isn't April 26th like Easter?

Speaker 19 Well, that would go with the other good tagline.

Speaker 14 Resurrection.

Speaker 19 He's been drowned, chainsawed, knifed, axed, hammered, shocked, burned, spiked, nailed, shot, and frozen. And now he's back for more.

Speaker 19 Like, it's, you know, a resurrection.

Speaker 46 Wait, was he in Frozen?

Speaker 1 Jason, not a lot of people. He is the Sony.

Speaker 86 He's Olaf.

Speaker 50 Yeah.

Speaker 19 This movie came out in 2002. The number, the top three movies that year were Spider-Man, Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, Star Wars Episode 2.

Speaker 19 And the budget was $11 million.

Speaker 19 And worldwide, it made $16 million. It was was a profitable

Speaker 63 dicks.

Speaker 12 We don't know for PNA.

Speaker 83 Don't use fucking industry terms on me.

Speaker 15 Alexa, buy the house on Blu-ray.

Speaker 20 One-click purchase.

Speaker 52 This sales is pretty cool.

Speaker 60 I think right after this episode, like, bam, a huge spike.

Speaker 19 let's see so obviously what we watch these movies uh because they're like fun bad movies and so now let's go around and see do you believe that this is a fun bad movie to watch you don't have to agree to it you it's your own opinion would you recommend people to watch this film if they have not seen it i will say watch this movie Don't watch this movie while you're watching your baby try to go to sleep

Speaker 14 because you you're listening to people getting murdered and people screaming while you're watching your baby also scream at you.

Speaker 74 This is a very niche angle on this.

Speaker 19 You should have put your iPad in the baby's crib, then you could be watching your baby and the movie almost like you're at a drive-in.

Speaker 99 I should have just put the baby monitor on which is the iPad playing the movie.

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 66 Smart. Really smart.

Speaker 47 And not damaging at all to the baby.

Speaker 19 Jason, any,

Speaker 19 what would you say here?

Speaker 50 You know,

Speaker 96 it's fine.

Speaker 49 There are better.

Speaker 91 There are better.

Speaker 56 We've done better.

Speaker 97 The Halloween that we did.

Speaker 64 Season of the Witch.

Speaker 19 Leprechaun.

Speaker 41 Yeah, we did Season of the Witch.

Speaker 36 Season of the Witch?

Speaker 8 That's what it is. Yeah, okay.
Sorry.

Speaker 91 That, or Leprechaun in the Hood, right?

Speaker 73 That's what the Leprechaun was? Yeah.

Speaker 56 Those movies are better.

Speaker 13 Troll, the Troll 2.

Speaker 56 We did not do that. We've never done it, but that's a good one.

Speaker 91 Like, there are better.

Speaker 8 Ooh, when's Troll 2 going to happen?

Speaker 14 Please ask me back for Troll 2.

Speaker 73 Oh, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 53 There are better, like, this is fine, and watch it if you want.

Speaker 47 It's fun, it is very self-aware, it's very goofy.

Speaker 99 There's a lot of

Speaker 42 like it's not enough. It's a bit neither nor.

Speaker 73 That's the thing is, it's a bit neither nor.

Speaker 20 If you don't watch it, I think you're fine.

Speaker 97 I don't think it's not like it's not like it's Miami Connection,

Speaker 69 which every single

Speaker 106 Alexa purchase Miami Connection.

Speaker 55 That movie is like the greatest.

Speaker 44 And this is kind of like blah,

Speaker 8 if I'm being honest. Jenny.

Speaker 19 Jenny?

Speaker 85 I would say it's worth it for one thing, which is that the costume designer truly put everyone, almost everyone, in some sort of velour

Speaker 85 vest or

Speaker 68 belly shirt.

Speaker 85 Or belly shirt.

Speaker 19 Yeah, the costume designer is really the person to look out for.

Speaker 46 I feel like that is, it is really.

Speaker 99 They made a real attempt to provide futuristic tech and all that stuff, but they just assumed that everybody in 400 years in the future will dress like people in 2002.

Speaker 85 Yeah, like real Chenil kind of stuff. I really, it's great for that, and if you like to smoke weed.

Speaker 85 But I would say it was, I mean, I'm like, it was a little bit gross.

Speaker 8 You know? Yeah, to me.

Speaker 19 To me, I would say, like, I find it to be like the same way. I was like, eh, it was fine.

Speaker 46 It was fine.

Speaker 19 It's a movie. There's other movies we talked about in in the beginning, other horror movies that went to space were Hellraiser, Leprechaun, and Critters.

Speaker 19 So maybe we just do four of these and just figure out what's the best person in space.

Speaker 74 I think a better version of this movie would have been if the whole thing had been, or no, at the midpoint of the movie, if it had switched to the sim of Crystal Lake.

Speaker 84 Like, once they got into that, I thought, like, oh, that's the movie. Like, that's the thing.

Speaker 66 I mean, not the girls, like, we love premarital sex.

Speaker 106 But, I mean, it would have been interesting to have to have the people on the ship act like they were in a summer camp, like on earth, on an old earth

Speaker 107 that they don't know what it is.

Speaker 20 Yeah, so they're having to do it in order to lure Jason out.

Speaker 12 That would have been fun.

Speaker 8 Are you listening to this fucking farmer?

Speaker 33 Are you taking Billy on farmersonly.com?

Speaker 19 Just dating himself. He's always liking himself.

Speaker 8 Oh, it's me.

Speaker 19 A big thank you to Averil Halley, who cuts all of our amazing clips. July Diaz who's up in the booth.
Nate Kylie does all this research and listened to the Jason X commentary track into copious notes.

Speaker 19 Kelly Alto, Liana Waldron, everybody here at Largo, everybody at Earwolf, thank you so much and good night.

Speaker 4 Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie. And one thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home.
Because with every fix, update, and renovation, it becomes a little more your own.

Speaker 4 So you need all your jobs done well. For nearly 30 years, Angie has helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter.

Speaker 4 From plumbing to electrical, roof repair, to deck upgrades. So leave it to the pros who will get your jobs done well.
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