Chopping Mall LIVE! w/ Mary Holland (HDTGM Matinee)

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Speaker 9 A movie that proves the age-old adage: don't fuck in your dad's furniture store or you'll be killed by robots.

Speaker 12 We saw chopping malls, so you know what that means.

Speaker 13 Swasinaga Grove, baby in his belly. Rock a rhinestone vest while whipping Justin to Kelly.
Or maybe see a burlesque show with Hay Crow and take a boat with speech to hitting cruise control.

Speaker 13 J-Man, Big Paul, and the beautiful June. Gonna take you from the goof all the way to the room.
Random games of Street Fighter, hope to blow off steam.

Speaker 13 Just to suck a punch the odd life of Timothy Green. Sharp natal to bird demic, how we stayin' alive.
They call it in the badass and he's on the line.

Speaker 13 Cranking 88 minutes cause they they're cool as ice. Cause the bad Jim Barney looking kind and nice.
Paul and June getting literal, Jason is getting laid.

Speaker 13 June is making sure all the monkey shots are getting paid.

Speaker 14 They judge a bunch of movies while they're making the grade.

Speaker 1 Here's a real question for you: how did this get made?

Speaker 6 Hello, people of earth

Speaker 6 and hello, people of Largo.

Speaker 6 We are

Speaker 6 live

Speaker 5 once again at Largo, our LA home, and we have a great show for you tonight.

Speaker 18 The Film is Chopping Mall, and this has been on our agenda for a very long time.

Speaker 21 Thank you, Amazon Prime, for making it available for all of us to see.

Speaker 17 Let's get this show started.

Speaker 12 Let me introduce you to Jason Manzukas.

Speaker 6 What's up, jerks?

Speaker 9 Welcome, Jason.

Speaker 6 How are you, Paul? Very good.

Speaker 15 I told you this backstage, but

Speaker 6 so excited.

Speaker 23 Behind the curtain.

Speaker 6 Yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 2 Just a glimpse. A glimpse.

Speaker 6 Just a glimpse behind the curtain.

Speaker 24 I said I got excited genuinely in the middle of watching this movie that I was going to be able to talk about it with you and people.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Was the part where you got excited, the very busy women's locker room at the mall?

Speaker 6 Because that's when I wrote, this movie is awesome.

Speaker 6 I think

Speaker 26 the moment that

Speaker 6 you have a highly functional women's locker room at the mall.

Speaker 15 What?

Speaker 22 They got to get changed into those uniforms somewhere.

Speaker 6 Oh, but listen, as long as it gives us like more boobs in this movie, I am into it. I really was like, why don't we do movies movies with more boobs in them? Like, our lives would be better.

Speaker 18 It's amazing to see that much nudity in a movie because I feel like

Speaker 15 that's been almost erased or it's done tastefully now. This movie, it's just, it's gratuitous.

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 2 It's to a point where you feel uncomfortable.

Speaker 6 You are wrong, sir.

Speaker 6 Let me introduce you. Or if that's uncomfortable, then I was uncomfortable throughout the movie.

Speaker 6 I don't understand words.

Speaker 6 Let me

Speaker 29 introduce my other co-host, the lovely, the talented, June Diane Raphael.

Speaker 29 Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Speaker 30 June, another peek behind the curtain.

Speaker 31 I showed you the poster for this movie this week and you said, what?

Speaker 15 I can't do this.

Speaker 33 I will not watch this.

Speaker 18 You were very upset by the poster.

Speaker 34 Well, I don't do gore.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 34 But this wasn't really gory.

Speaker 6 This was just... What?

Speaker 6 It isn't that. There were multiple head explosions.

Speaker 34 But they happen so quickly. Like, I'm okay with a head explosion.
I'm not okay with a head, like, slowly dangling and seeing insides outside.

Speaker 34 So, I was okay with that.

Speaker 36 I was okay with it.

Speaker 10 Well, I will say that the poster for this movie makes it way more scary.

Speaker 37 It's like what's the poster?

Speaker 31 The poster is like a decomposing hand holding a shopping bag where arms and legs are coming out of it.

Speaker 39 So it looks like, oh, it's a chopping, like people are getting chopped up at the

Speaker 6 where you go to get like human limbs.

Speaker 34 Like, like, well, yeah, I mean, that's the big, and we'll get into this after our guest comes out, but that's the big confusion about this.

Speaker 38 No, let's get into it right now.

Speaker 6 I was looking at the best.

Speaker 34 But the poster makes it seem like, and the opening montage makes it seem like we're going to see a lot of shoppers get killed. Yes.
It's not what happens.

Speaker 6 No. No.

Speaker 6 Well, we'll talk about it. Yeah.
We'll talk about it.

Speaker 10 I thought we were going to say nouveau Sweeney Todd.

Speaker 19 Not the case.

Speaker 4 Our guest tonight is somebody we've been very excited to have on the show. She is fantastically funny.

Speaker 23 She currently is starring on the show Shrink, which is on CISO.

Speaker 4 You can see her in the upcoming season of Veep.

Speaker 38 She also is one of the stars of Blunt Talk, and her show, Wild Horses, performs here at Largo all the time.

Speaker 12 Please welcome Mary Holland.

Speaker 12 Let's see.

Speaker 12 Welcome.

Speaker 6 Welcome, Mary.

Speaker 6 Party to the Max!

Speaker 6 I wrote that down, too.

Speaker 6 Oh, no, she said it's good times to the Max.

Speaker 43 Oh, good times to the Max.

Speaker 6 Oh, shit.

Speaker 6 I had real, like, nostalgia during this movie.

Speaker 34 Did you ever say good times to the Max?

Speaker 6 Stuff, like, I feel like those were the kind of stuff, like, that was, like, the lingo when I was in, like, high school or whatever.

Speaker 2 He's shit like that.

Speaker 6 I have a question.

Speaker 43 Was I supposed to have notes?

Speaker 3 You don't have to have notes.

Speaker 6 You fucking blew it.

Speaker 6 You blew it, Mary.

Speaker 6 I, um, well, like, Mary, what was your,

Speaker 20 obviously, like, what was your interpretation of the poster or anything?

Speaker 38 What did you know?

Speaker 30 Like, what, like, walk us through your journey of, hey, you got to watch this movie to do the show.

Speaker 41 Yeah. And then what happened?

Speaker 43 So there I was late last night, and I thought, I should watch this because I don't have much time left.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Which is a good thing because

Speaker 8 the movie is 77

Speaker 11 minutes.

Speaker 8 77.

Speaker 18 Doesn't even make 80, not even close to 90.

Speaker 6 77.

Speaker 6 Technically a short.

Speaker 23 I didn't know you could make a movie that is 77 minutes.

Speaker 43 All right, so yeah, so you okay, so then I then I had it up and I had the same response to the to the poster as well. I was like, oh, no.

Speaker 43 Oh, I'm not going to like this. I can't do this.
And then it really wasn't that.

Speaker 15 Yeah, it's surprisingly not that.

Speaker 23 The premise of this movie, just to clue you in, if you've not seen it, it's about three malfunctioning robots that kill teenagers after a fuck sesh.

Speaker 6 And by the way, this is.

Speaker 39 And teenagers that are in quotes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, those aren't.

Speaker 6 Those are not teenagers.

Speaker 43 Those are not teenagers.

Speaker 6 And they specifically aren't teenagers. They're not teenagers.

Speaker 47 They're not teenagers.

Speaker 6 So that they can fuck.

Speaker 6 So that they can be nude and fuck. They are not teenagers.
What a way of teenagers.

Speaker 6 There's a married couple.

Speaker 34 On Amazon.

Speaker 34 On Amazon, it says next to the description of the movie, eight teenagers

Speaker 34 get caught in a shopping mall at, you know, whatever it says about the movie.

Speaker 34 So my question is, I know the actors aren't teens, obviously.

Speaker 36 They're all 45.

Speaker 43 But they were teenagers at one point sure

Speaker 6 as were we

Speaker 6 hoe played one of the teens

Speaker 6 but present

Speaker 6 coming back to is are these characters teenagers i believe this is what i think i believe these because they two of them are married and the others which is jobs an area oh that's right i want to get into their business and financials yes pretty soon i think they are meant to be post i think they are meant to be like college-age people, right?

Speaker 34 Well, I don't know because teens are the ones that have jobs at the mall.

Speaker 6 Not in this movie.

Speaker 6 They are in the beginning of the movie, they have like an all-mall meeting to introduce the robots to the mall. There is a doctor present.

Speaker 6 They're like, okay, doctor, fair point. And I wrote, why is there a doctor presenting? Here's the thing.
Here's the thing. It's as if this mall is the most important place on earth.

Speaker 34 But this mall also has a store that sells dynamite.

Speaker 6 Yep.

Speaker 6 There's a paint store. And there might as well be like an office for NASA at this mall.

Speaker 6 And everybody that works there appears, like the eye roll couple that we saw in the trailer. Like, oh, boy.
Like, the guy that during the all-mall meeting says that one of the robots looks ethnic.

Speaker 34 Oh, my God. That was wild.

Speaker 6 It's like, what is happening?

Speaker 42 I was like, those two people are the 1980s version of difficult people.

Speaker 15 I was like, that is Julie Klausner and Billy Eichner right here.

Speaker 49 One week from tonight, at closing, the Protectors will begin their patrol of the mall. Paul,

Speaker 49 they look like the three stooges.

Speaker 49 Each assigned to one of the three upper shopping levels.

Speaker 50 I don't know, Mary. The one in the middle has an unpleasantly ethnic quality.

Speaker 49 Now, are there any questions?

Speaker 34 Yes, Dr. Carrington.

Speaker 49 So, what are your machines that do besides kill criminals? Well, first of all, Doctor, the Protectors do not kill... I wonder if they kill cockroaches.

Speaker 49 They could probably be programmed to. They seem so violent.
If they're called protectors, what do they protect? Plenty.

Speaker 49 For starters, as seen in the film, the protectors do their work in the mall proper, not in the stores themselves.

Speaker 50 Maybe we could use one at the restaurant.

Speaker 49 Get rid of people we don't like.

Speaker 6 I was sad that they didn't come back. I was surprised they didn't.

Speaker 6 I did find something out interesting about them because I was curious for why these two characters who are so snarky at the top of the movie and getting oddly a lot of screen.

Speaker 6 Yeah, they're very featured.

Speaker 5 They're very featured to not be mentioned or referred to any ever again.

Speaker 2 They are two characters from a movie called Eating Raul, which was another Roger Corman movie about people who are cannibals.

Speaker 23 So this is a continuation of their character.

Speaker 6 So this is the shared Eating Raul universe? Yes.

Speaker 34 I wish I had known we were in that. The

Speaker 6 Eating Raoul universe. There's some way.
There's a good one there.

Speaker 15 Wait, oh, my issue with this movie, just at the top level of it, is this.

Speaker 23 I mean, there's many, but it's a problem that is not a problem that they've created an insane solution to.

Speaker 6 So, like, they're like, so it's.

Speaker 34 Well, that's the thing. At the all-mall meeting, there's no...
Like, has crime been up?

Speaker 43 It's not. No one's saying anything about it.

Speaker 6 The movie is basically RoboCop in a mall. Well, here's what I read.

Speaker 6 That presumes the mall needs RoboCop, and it does not. And this is the Robocop.

Speaker 34 But this is the problem.

Speaker 34 Those robots only come out when the stores are closed.

Speaker 6 June, how do you feel about robots?

Speaker 34 Don't like them.

Speaker 34 But by the way, these robots also are fairly friendly looking and affable looking. They don't also appear menacing, but the mall closes at night and these crazy gates lock everyone in.

Speaker 6 It's like space lock.

Speaker 34 Right, but this is my, but that's when the robots come out which begs the question like why do you need robot nobody's there nobody's breaking in they don't

Speaker 6 do they can't get out there is no evidence given as to why this is even remotely necessary for a just regular shopping mall this is not but that's my point is even if the even if the mall had a spike in crime in the last few months, this still is not the solution.

Speaker 6 I agree.

Speaker 27 I would argue that no mall is really getting broken into in the middle of the night.

Speaker 31 It doesn't seem like the best target.

Speaker 23 It's like, let me go into a maze of stores.

Speaker 43 That each have their own security systems and breaks.

Speaker 6 But you have to break into one security, then yeah, like it just seems like it's a bad thing. I feel like that was the pitch, though.
I feel like the pitch was like, Robocop. It works, right?

Speaker 6 They put a robot into a crime-infested city, and everything goes crazy. This is that, except the robots are tiny and cute,

Speaker 6 and Detroit is a shopping mall.

Speaker 6 I would go with this. They'd be like, all right, we love short circuit.

Speaker 48 Johnny 5 comes alive, but what if Johnny 5 kills?

Speaker 2 Make that movie with boobs.

Speaker 6 But yeah, he doesn't fight adults, though. So it's Red Dawn versus tiny robot Johnny Fives.

Speaker 6 Yep.

Speaker 34 Well, here's the thing. I think as a setting, the mall, I mean, there's a lot of fun to be had.
Absolutely. There's a lot of fun.

Speaker 6 So much fun. There's a lot of mall movies.

Speaker 34 We all know. Yes.
There's different stores. There's different lifestyle brands.
It's fun.

Speaker 43 There was a house of almonds. I don't know if you saw that.

Speaker 55 Did you guys see that?

Speaker 34 But this mall was like none I've ever seen.

Speaker 4 This was the one that jumped out right here.

Speaker 2 Her scent

Speaker 6 is

Speaker 37 the name of all of the stores.

Speaker 6 I didn't know. Her scent.

Speaker 27 Oh, man.

Speaker 6 I used to go to that part of the mall all the time.

Speaker 6 Just to remember my mom.

Speaker 6 Oh my god.

Speaker 43 That's really touching.

Speaker 6 Because she used to work in that section of the mall. Oh yeah.

Speaker 42 By the way,

Speaker 22 we are a mere, what, 200 yards away from the exteriors of this mall?

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so the Beverly Center is a mere few feet away from here where they just quickly show you exteriors as if the DP was in a car that couldn't stop.

Speaker 11 They're like, shit, get it, get it, get it, shot it.

Speaker 6 They shot this on a public bus. Yeah.

Speaker 16 There was no way a permit was given for whatever footage they used to get the Beverly Center.

Speaker 45 And it's not the Beverly Center inside.

Speaker 23 It is the same mall from Commando.

Speaker 32 That's the one thing I do know.

Speaker 41 Oh, really? Yes. It's in the valley.

Speaker 23 Oh, and these robots also have lasers that can cut through debris.

Speaker 6 Which is like, well, all right.

Speaker 45 First of all, you got these doors.

Speaker 23 Then you got these robots that are going to knock people out.

Speaker 52 But what kind of debris do they like? These are not army robots.

Speaker 37 And then they also find out later they're equipped with C4.

Speaker 6 Yeah, these are like wars. These are like robots that you would see in like dismantling bombs in the hurt locker.
Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 6 And it's like, oh, we need those at the mall to protect House of Almonds.

Speaker 43 And but I also found them, like when they were presented and, you know, their features were shown, they just had little plastic pincers that didn't look sharp and didn't even seem to do it.

Speaker 43 Like they would launch it on a little string,

Speaker 43 but the string would look limp.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 34 Also, yes, and the pace at which they moved was comical.

Speaker 6 Yeah. I mean, mean, they just

Speaker 34 slowly glided.

Speaker 40 Yeah, like, I feel like they never probably move more than like eight miles an hour.

Speaker 6 And are so loud. Are so loud.

Speaker 6 And then there's keeping instances where they sneak up on someone, which is, frankly, impossible. Because this, it is empty.
Empty. Devoid of sound.

Speaker 7 And just

Speaker 6 and just like.

Speaker 6 And they appear to. My favorite fucking part of this movie this fucking mental movie is that the robots are continuously looking to each other

Speaker 6 to check in on shit that's going on like

Speaker 6 Like bro, are you getting this

Speaker 6 Bro, he doesn't even know we're awake

Speaker 6 like they keep like they they they're fucking robots and they're having like subtle like weird relationships with each other.

Speaker 9 And the weird thing about these robots are they only malfunction because like something out of Frankenstein, lightning hits the highest point of the mall.

Speaker 6 Yes. Three times.
Three times. Three lightning strikes in like 30 seconds.

Speaker 43 And they're such terrifying lightning strikes too, like, and everyone's just walking to their cars. Like, no one seems to react to the bolts of lightning.

Speaker 8 And they're not attached to

Speaker 22 the thing that's getting hit.

Speaker 45 They just, I guess they're like,

Speaker 34 they made a big point of like, oh, they're online. You know, the idea being like when whatever that was, that whatever they hit in the control room.
In the control room, they're always online.

Speaker 6 The control room for the mall

Speaker 6 that looks like it belongs in like a nuclear facility.

Speaker 6 Like it's a control room from like the China syndrome.

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Speaker 15 The other thing about this movie,

Speaker 23 first I would say everybody in this movie is disgusting.

Speaker 2 Like there is something disgusting about every person.

Speaker 6 Like the chef

Speaker 6 go person by person.

Speaker 6 Person by person.

Speaker 6 Let's pick them apart. Why are you disgusting, chef?

Speaker 6 This is the smoking chef with a chef

Speaker 22 on his look like something out of like, you can't do that on television, Barf.

Speaker 16 Like,

Speaker 23 the, you know, I'm just going to

Speaker 32 pull him up.

Speaker 6 There's so much setup.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 17 There's Barf.

Speaker 8 Who wipes his spatula on his chest and then continues to make food.

Speaker 34 By the way, he's at the front of the house, too.

Speaker 6 Like, could you imagine walking into the kitchen? He's back in the kitchen.

Speaker 6 That guy?

Speaker 6 I sadly feel like I'm max four years away from playing this part.

Speaker 6 Like, I am, like, maybe

Speaker 6 four years away from playing this part.

Speaker 6 That's the world I'm living in, guys.

Speaker 26 And then there's like, then I, and then there's, like, the guy who's taking over for the security guy.

Speaker 34 Wait, before that, before that, there's the restaurant patron.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah. Oh,

Speaker 6 yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 34 Okay, well, he asks for, to eat a stick of butter.

Speaker 6 Says,

Speaker 6 more butter.

Speaker 34 Honestly, I felt really disturbed by that moment.

Speaker 6 Well, he also, they say, is real handsy.

Speaker 6 The one who has Susie Sus warns the other one, be careful, he's real handsy.

Speaker 34 That's fine, but what I saw.

Speaker 34 No, of course it's not not fine.

Speaker 6 June likes the man

Speaker 6 by that reveal.

Speaker 34 What I saw in that moment of him saying

Speaker 34 another stick of butter or whatever the line was, I saw the actor

Speaker 34 having to say a line like that.

Speaker 6 And he looked so

Speaker 34 devastated.

Speaker 34 I wish we could watch it because he barely looks up. And it's not a choice, guys.
It's not a choice.

Speaker 6 It's a choice.

Speaker 34 It's a choice.

Speaker 6 He's not looking up because he's so so enthralled by the meal.

Speaker 34 No, it's not. He's like, here I am, you know, playing this part.
Here I am.

Speaker 6 I'm in a movie.

Speaker 56 And this is what it comes to.

Speaker 6 Even this is devastating. This piece of pizza is disgusting.

Speaker 45 A piece of pizza falls on the floor and it looks like it's more corn than pizza.

Speaker 6 Yeah. And they also do.
They also stage this in a way such that it's only because they can bend down to pick up the debris that they can have a private conversation.

Speaker 6 It's like they have to break stuff to be like, hey, are we getting out of here or what? Wait, what? You can't just talk to each other on the job.

Speaker 15 The other thing, like, well, then there's a security guard who comes in who's like, sorry, I'm late.

Speaker 18 It was all you can eat downstairs, and then proceeds to pick up the guy's like half-eaten donuts.

Speaker 6 Like, eat this too.

Speaker 6 My favorite of all of these people: janitor bullies.

Speaker 6 Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 Janitor bullies. One janitor is like mopping up slop.
Two other janitors come by and are like, fuck you, nerd.

Speaker 6 Oh, look at this fucking nerd mopping up, doing his job. You fucking nerd.
It's like, and it seems

Speaker 6 all janitors.

Speaker 6 What's happening right now?

Speaker 6 What is the hierarchy of janitors?

Speaker 8 It seems like they're making fun of him like that like he they're all doing the same jobs like you're gonna be here all night cleaning up this stuff.

Speaker 11 But it's like, yeah, like, he's got to do that.

Speaker 6 That's our job. That's the job.
That's our job. And the janitor bullies look like fucking nerds, too.

Speaker 6 Like, one of them, like, the mean one, looks like Stephen Tobolowski.

Speaker 43 I was really hoping

Speaker 43 when the robot came around, I was like, well, he's not going to hurt him because he works at the mall. And he's protecting people.
And he had a badge. And I thought, just show him the badge.

Speaker 43 Show him the badge.

Speaker 17 Then he does show him the badge.

Speaker 34 Here's the thing, though, Mary. I think the robots have gone fucking nuts

Speaker 34 from those lightning bolts. Right.
I think in every single day.

Speaker 6 That's not a debate.

Speaker 44 That's not a debatable.

Speaker 11 They did.

Speaker 11 There should be no fucking movies.

Speaker 47 I don't know.

Speaker 6 I don't know.

Speaker 34 I'll tell you what else is disgusting in this movie, the furniture store. Oh, no.

Speaker 6 Can you imagine?

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 6 No. Can you imagine buying furniture that people have been fucking on?

Speaker 45 Disgusting.

Speaker 45 I really want to talk about that sex scene for hours.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 This is. I was surprised.
It was only 10 seconds long and then I fell asleep. You're the king.
You're the king.

Speaker 6 This.

Speaker 40 I literally felt like I got an STD by watching this movie.

Speaker 34 And actually, I had the thought, a fleeting thought of like, I've been in a position where, you know, I've been told to just buy the model, you know, the car and the dealership, like, just buy the thing and don't, you know, the on display, the on display model.

Speaker 36 Yes, because it's always cheaper.

Speaker 34 Well, it's always cheaper to just buy whatever's on the floor. And watching this scene, I thought,

Speaker 34 never again will I buy any floor models of anything.

Speaker 43 Although they did say the sheets were clean,

Speaker 43 they put clean sheets on everything.

Speaker 58 But by the way, these are

Speaker 34 but they're not going to take those sheets off, Mary.

Speaker 6 I don't know

Speaker 34 they put new sheets on for themselves but those are the sheets that we would be well I guess we wouldn't be buying the sheets

Speaker 59 my point exactly

Speaker 41 all right um we gotta play the all of the the scene yeah

Speaker 6 all of this scene just so you understand what I think just because if you're listening to us the first image that you think here well well you know we could take it bit by bit okay so here we go So, this is the furniture store original furniture store.

Speaker 6 But that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 35 We talk about that, though.

Speaker 9 No, when you first see this, you think this is the married couple who have gone back to their house to fuck.

Speaker 11 That's at least what I thought.

Speaker 6 I never thought that. No, I never thought that in my life.

Speaker 10 No, didn't occur to me.

Speaker 45 Oh, wow. So, you thought they were in.

Speaker 14 Did you think they were in the house?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I thought they were in a home. Oh, no, I thought they were fucking in the furniture store.

Speaker 6 I guess that's the kind of perverts June and I are.

Speaker 6 Because

Speaker 38 the wife tempts the husband by going, I got these clean white underwear and bra.

Speaker 47 He's like, finally.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 They were my favorite color.

Speaker 17 It's kind of a jot, like a jot, like a Haines ad.

Speaker 15 Like, that's how sexy this outfit is.

Speaker 56 I mean, you know, all right, here we go.

Speaker 61 This is how it goes.

Speaker 51 Lady,

Speaker 49 you got a license for that outfit?

Speaker 49 Why, uh, no, officer. I guess you're just gonna have to take me in

Speaker 58 so they present themselves

Speaker 56 across the store.

Speaker 6 They are seven feet away from these furniture stores.

Speaker 45 Now, I will just say before we continue the next part, like they're role-playing in a group sex.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like there's an orgy.

Speaker 35 I know I feel like we're role-playing.

Speaker 6 So vulnerable.

Speaker 34 Here's the thing: That's what's crazy about the idea that they're not teenagers.

Speaker 34 Like, if these people are, I don't know, like 25, even in their 20s. I find this really strange.

Speaker 36 What? Well, why are they?

Speaker 6 Why are they fucking within six feet of each other?

Speaker 34 I find it odd.

Speaker 37 Why does a married couple have to go to a furniture store to fuck?

Speaker 38 Why are they married?

Speaker 6 Why are they married?

Speaker 6 And if they are married, which I am, I suspect is not true. No, why are they still hanging out with the furniture store crew?

Speaker 6 Why don't they go home? Go home. Go to your home.

Speaker 34 Here's the thing: what's set up early on is that

Speaker 34 Jenny or Jesse or someone's having a crazy party at the furniture store.

Speaker 6 Which is like six people.

Speaker 34 So that woman,

Speaker 34 the married woman, says we have to go to support her.

Speaker 6 Oh, okay.

Speaker 43 Because she gets so insecure about her parties at the furniture store.

Speaker 36 It's the turnout.

Speaker 43 No one ever comes to me.

Speaker 6 I'll tell you what. I really liked Suze in the beginning, but she really goes crazy.

Speaker 6 Also, also, guys, heads up.

Speaker 6 If your girl is still fully dressed, don't get down to your boxers.

Speaker 6 Like, don't you be in your boxers while she's still fully dressed. It just is a little eager.

Speaker 22 The camera now has panned over just a handful of feet to couple number two, where this amazing interaction happens.

Speaker 51 I like pepperoni. Oh, wait, oh.

Speaker 6 Oh, my God.

Speaker 51 You smell like pepperoni.

Speaker 34 Well, that's the way you feel.

Speaker 6 Wait a minute.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 51 I like pepperoni.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 49 In that case.

Speaker 56 So many bracelets.

Speaker 6 No, hold on. Why does she start humming? This is your

Speaker 6 mom. Why did I say that? Here's what I think.
starts.

Speaker 43 I have a theory about this. I have a theory.
The actress went up to the director, and the scene ends, as written, the scene ends with, I like the smell of pepperoni.

Speaker 43 And then they're supposed to do it. She went up to the director and she said, hey,

Speaker 43 here's the thing. I'm a singer.

Speaker 43 Can we do a take where I face out?

Speaker 43 I start humming a like blues ballad

Speaker 43 and and then But I will sing, and then you'll have that in the movie, and then that will make the scene that much more romantic and sexy.

Speaker 6 You have a theory about what happened next?

Speaker 34 He said, Yes.

Speaker 6 I have a theory. I have a theory.
So you say that to me, I'll be the guy. Okay.

Speaker 36 Oh, wait. Are you the director?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm the director.

Speaker 43 Okay. Hi.

Speaker 43 This is so fun. Thank you so much for this opportunity.

Speaker 6 You're doing great, kid.

Speaker 54 You're doing great.

Speaker 6 Thank you.

Speaker 43 I don't know if you know this. I'm a singer.
And I really think it would enhance the scene

Speaker 43 if I were to,

Speaker 43 I don't know, at some point when he says I smell like pepperoni, I'm insulted, obviously.

Speaker 43 I'm sorry to interrupt.

Speaker 20 I'm sorry.

Speaker 40 We have to shoot 95 more pages in the next hour.

Speaker 61 Okay.

Speaker 6 All right. All right.
Thanks.

Speaker 43 And anyway, so I was thinking I would just enhance the scene by like stepping out and like sort of having like a moment of being heard.

Speaker 43 And then I'll just just throw.

Speaker 6 But I'll hum a blues ballad. You're going to hum a blues ballad? Okay, great.
As long as you pull your tits out, you can do whatever you want, sweetie.

Speaker 47 You got a deal, mister.

Speaker 6 As long as you pull those B cups out, you can do whatever the fuck you want. B-cups.

Speaker 36 This is the crazy thing about the song.

Speaker 34 You're right. It's like a lullaby.

Speaker 34 It sort of reads as though she's

Speaker 34 the character needs to kind of get herself

Speaker 6 psyched up.

Speaker 20 because she's like

Speaker 6 well she later is proven to be a straight-up crazy person.

Speaker 45 And then, all right, so then the camera pans from them

Speaker 13 and there

Speaker 40 goes over to a guy going down on his girlfriend.

Speaker 6 No, he's trying to. Or trying to.

Speaker 6 Michael.

Speaker 50 What now?

Speaker 49 You know I don't allow that.

Speaker 50 You allowed it last week, didn't you?

Speaker 6 You know I don't allow that.

Speaker 6 That's right. Just another lady out there telling another guy how much she hates being gone down on.

Speaker 34 I mean, I have to say, she may just be uncomfortable with it in a furniture store.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 34 Which I can understand.

Speaker 6 Perhaps.

Speaker 6 Or maybe she just keeps finding gum in her pussy. I know.

Speaker 47 He never stops chewing gum.

Speaker 6 And it's like, it's like, listen, you know I love it, but I don't allow it from you because you keep, I got

Speaker 6 toxic shock twice last year because there was gum in my pussy.

Speaker 6 Fucking, this guy chews so much gum,

Speaker 6 it's bananas.

Speaker 6 She's like, I found a golf ball-sized big league chew.

Speaker 31 Again, adding to my thing that everyone is discussing, and I think the idea is that the script was probably pretty bad, and everyone's like, I'm going to dress up this character.

Speaker 15 I'm gonna give my,

Speaker 15 everyone's like, I'm gonna give my character like a little tick.

Speaker 6 A thing. Yeah, a thing.
Like, what do I got? Like a little tick, like a character thing.

Speaker 17 And you think there's a commentary, there's three commentary tracks to this movie.

Speaker 6 But I will let this one just. Wait, are they from Protector 1, Protector 2, and Protector 3?

Speaker 16 It's just a lot of people.

Speaker 6 Choop, choop, choop, choop. Have a nice day.
Have a nice day.

Speaker 6 I remember when we were shooting this scene. Have a nice day.

Speaker 6 It was so hot on set this day. Have a nice day.

Speaker 18 All three of them are real estate agents now.

Speaker 19 They're great.

Speaker 33 All right, so

Speaker 6 this is just great.

Speaker 61 A little insight.

Speaker 63 You'll notice he is chewing gum in every scene.

Speaker 63 When he's in bed with the very, very attractive Susie Slater, he is chewing gum. He was chewing four or five sticks at a time.

Speaker 63 And it's really annoying, and it's really funny, and that's all because of John.

Speaker 63 He's an incredibly inventive actor.

Speaker 63 But I agree. I thought John was an excellent actor.

Speaker 43 That was my opinion. I was like, this John guy is good.

Speaker 5 Look, he made a choice.

Speaker 36 He's really good.

Speaker 61 I wanted to ask you guys about this thing because I was confused about this.

Speaker 31 The full body lace leotard.

Speaker 45 Was that ever a thing?

Speaker 34 It's actually back.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah. Like a bodysuit? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay. All right.

Speaker 18 And that's normal. Yeah.

Speaker 34 All right, because that checks out.

Speaker 45 I never saw, look, I never saw stepping in and pulling up a lace.

Speaker 6 Keep in mind, that scene is at the shopping mall.

Speaker 6 The locker room at the shopping mall.

Speaker 6 Where everybody from the mall just showers up

Speaker 34 and hangs out. See, I thought that locker room was just for the pizza place employees.

Speaker 11 Really?

Speaker 6 Now, that's even crazier. You're right.

Speaker 6 Can you imagine a pizza restaurant? Can you imagine working a shift at even Monster Pizzeria?

Speaker 34 Where the front of the house looks like what we already saw.

Speaker 6 The guy's wiping his spatula on his thing, and there is a full-on spa-level locker room where

Speaker 6 people are just hanging out. Oh, I would love that.

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Speaker 9 um there there's so much to kind of get into i do like i do well

Speaker 6 you okay uh yeah short-circuiting well i

Speaker 6 lasers yeah lasers tell four people in the audience um well and also like okay

Speaker 6 i love

Speaker 6 i loved that they had the idea sneak out through the vents well Well, it's that, okay, it's that thing of like, it was like they wanted it to be teenagers, but it wasn't.

Speaker 6 And the idea that the first thing they decide to do is we need to get some weapons.

Speaker 6 The guys are like, we need to get guns. And that they go off and send the women into the heating vents, and then they get overheated in less than a minute.

Speaker 6 In less than one minute, it's as if the heating vent is 500 degrees and they are being cooked inside.

Speaker 6 They could.

Speaker 45 They said the heat was turned up.

Speaker 6 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 23 And look, and the heat in those two people across heating vents really get hot.

Speaker 45 Like, I've never seen that.

Speaker 25 Like, I think they didn't figure out, like, the heating vents are not that wide to be able to be like two people shoulder by shoulder.

Speaker 19 That's a lot.

Speaker 6 That's a

Speaker 31 five-foot-wide heating vent.

Speaker 27 That seems big to me, right?

Speaker 16 Because Bruce Willis is in there and diehard, and I feel like that's like it's supposed to be so.

Speaker 34 So, this is a mall.

Speaker 6 Yeah, maybe you're right.

Speaker 34 A lot of area, a lot of square coverage.

Speaker 6 Yeah. And a lot of just like very

Speaker 6 easily accessible firearms.

Speaker 6 They literally stores. They pull away

Speaker 10 off a discount rack.

Speaker 45 It says 30% off and the guy picks up a handgun.

Speaker 31 Like there's no case.

Speaker 9 They don't even pretend to go behind the counter.

Speaker 62 It's like...

Speaker 10 It's like front of store items.

Speaker 6 It's like where an impulse buy is. Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's like where they put like like M ⁇ Ms and stuff because you're like, ah, fuck it.

Speaker 6 Except that it's like a shotgun.

Speaker 9 A rack of shotguns.

Speaker 8 And then, and the bullets seem close by, too.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 37 They don't search for anything.

Speaker 17 Like, load that shit up, right, 2-3.

Speaker 34 How do the robots find the humans?

Speaker 6 I don't know how they found them.

Speaker 6 Because they're patrolling.

Speaker 38 What's that? They're patrolling each floor.

Speaker 6 Right, but like...

Speaker 34 Do they smell them or?

Speaker 6 I think they can hear them, but not very well because they get into a gunfight at one one point with one of them. The other two don't show up.

Speaker 34 Well, this is the interesting thing because to me,

Speaker 34 at the very end of the movie, not to jump forward, but the woman.

Speaker 34 Our final gal saves herself just simply by hiding under a shelf. And

Speaker 34 they should have just all gotten under a table somehow.

Speaker 6 Here's the thing. And destroyed and just kibble in front of them.

Speaker 6 And just stay there. The robots weren't looking for them.
Right. They were going and finding the robots.
Because the robots are just patrolling and killing anyone on patrol. All they needed to do is.

Speaker 6 The robots were doing them.

Speaker 34 What's that? The robots were just doing them. They were doing themselves as robots.
They weren't really looking for them.

Speaker 6 So you're on the robot's side. Kind of.
Yeah. Well, this is.

Speaker 6 Do you understand how big this is? No, it's huge. You are on the side of

Speaker 6 the robots.

Speaker 6 Your sworn enemies.

Speaker 34 It did really feel, though, that they were trying to rile the robots up.

Speaker 6 Hey,

Speaker 6 they were possessed. All they had to do was hide until morning.
That's it. All they had to do was hide until morning.
Yeah. Which they easily could have done.

Speaker 58 But they didn't know that.

Speaker 34 In any store under any display.

Speaker 5 But they didn't know that because the minute they went to go hide, the robots kept on like lasering through doors to like go get them.

Speaker 6 I would love it too when the robots would hide somewhere

Speaker 6 and then like when the one robot killed gum chewer and then like set his body so and she came in and was like oh my god oh my god you're dead and then the robot was like haha I'm here like the robots had like real dramatic flourish to them

Speaker 23 the robots seemingly also open door like their hands never seemed to open doors but the like there's one door that clearly looks like it should be opened by being pushed but they're they're just kind like I wonder if I have that clip, but they I don't know if there's a tough one can you wait one second?

Speaker 6 Yeah, please. How do I know that actor?

Speaker 53 Well, I have the same

Speaker 6 tell me what movie from my childhood I know him.

Speaker 5 I had the same thing.

Speaker 40 He is kind of around in like the I think in a Jason movie, but I found it to be more interesting about where he is now.

Speaker 6 Where is he now?

Speaker 41 He is this gentleman.

Speaker 43 Oh, what are we gonna see?

Speaker 6 Whoa!

Speaker 6 By the way, I'm on board.

Speaker 23 He has a head shot up on his IMDb.

Speaker 6 That is not a headshot.

Speaker 17 He is pecs are out.

Speaker 37 He's a silver fox.

Speaker 6 Is that a dad bod?

Speaker 6 No, no.

Speaker 61 God, no, that's not a dad bod.

Speaker 6 No, okay. I'm still trying to.

Speaker 6 I'm still trying to hone in on exactly what a dad bod is.

Speaker 29 That's like a

Speaker 29 well-world.

Speaker 6 That's a hunky bot, right? Does he have a

Speaker 6 trip?

Speaker 45 He is now a talent agent.

Speaker 6 What if that was your agent?

Speaker 6 What if you were like, hey, man, I want you to keep repping me, but like, you got to take those shots down. It's like, it's super weird.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but I think he is on General Hospital, too.

Speaker 6 I feel like, yeah.

Speaker 32 But he looks so familiar to me, but I think he just looks like somebody else.

Speaker 34 Well, he looks like John Travolta a bit.

Speaker 34 So every time you're kind of looking at him

Speaker 6 a little bit like Jason Gedrick,

Speaker 6 Iron Eagle. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 65 By that.

Speaker 31 This is whenever they do come into contact with the robots, they get into this like firefight with them, and it seems like a lot of firepower is being thrown at each other, and it always is missing.

Speaker 6 Here's nobody before. Nobody uses,

Speaker 37 at this robot

Speaker 6 and seemingly hitting.

Speaker 37 And then the lasers are...

Speaker 37 There's so many lasers that are...

Speaker 17 Everyone's a bad shot in this movie. Like,

Speaker 11 so many lasers not hitting.

Speaker 34 But I can't.

Speaker 6 My big thing is...

Speaker 6 This movie features people constantly just standing in the line of fire and not getting out of the way, really.

Speaker 18 Well, I have a lot of issues with the way that people react.

Speaker 37 When one of their friends catches fire.

Speaker 6 I had that too. They just are, what a shame.
They look, they stare, they stare their friend down like, hmm. And she

Speaker 6 wants her burn. But by the way, that's Susie or Suze.
And you know what? It's her fault. They were safe in the heat ducts.

Speaker 43 But there was a long time where she was laying in the middle of the floor like that.

Speaker 6 Oh my God, yes. She could have crawled away.

Speaker 6 While the robot slowly lumbers towards her from behind.

Speaker 38 I thought it was going to like run her over.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's what I thought too. As if that was the setup, but I'm sure the robot couldn't do that.

Speaker 6 And so instead, it shoots a laser at the kerosene can she's carrying, and she goes up in flames.

Speaker 23 And she goes up in flames, and no one does a goddamn thing.

Speaker 6 Because they lay

Speaker 35 her.

Speaker 34 Guys, because I think what they realized is like, this lady's bringing us down.

Speaker 34 She's having panic attacks left and right. Like, we're going to let her go right now.
Yes.

Speaker 6 And we're going to honor her from 10 feet away and watch her body burn out.

Speaker 34 Respectfully.

Speaker 6 Yes. Watch her body burn.
I think you're right.

Speaker 6 I 100% think you're right. I would love to just straight up re-watch this whole movie right now.

Speaker 29 The also, oh man, I also like when they do kill one of the robots.

Speaker 19 He's like, what's that?

Speaker 6 And the guy's like, robot blood. Oh, yeah.
What? No. No.
It is not.

Speaker 34 The crazy thing about this gang of friends, too, is whenever someone gets upset, like when the brunette woman has some sort of a moment where she's yelling at her husband or something oh my gosh they immediately immediately cover it with I'm so sorry I've just I guess it's just the situation she says this she says this exact line I guess I'm just not used to being chased around the mall all night by killer robots I I literally I just literally just put that up it is the dumbest line of all here unbelievable

Speaker 8 Because one of their friends is like, we're dead meat.

Speaker 6 And I think

Speaker 15 you're freaking around.

Speaker 3 It's like, really?

Speaker 6 Your friends have been guilty? I just know what, before you press play, these jeans are too high-waisted.

Speaker 34 First of all, they're khakis. They're khakis.

Speaker 6 These, these, oh, these are khakis. These khakis are too high-waisted.
By the way, no women love high-waisted pants. It's got to stop.

Speaker 6 Really? This is this is whoa, wait, hold on, Jason.

Speaker 6 Jason,

Speaker 6 whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, sir.

Speaker 43 Have you ever tried to wear low-right?

Speaker 6 I can see everything

Speaker 6 in this.

Speaker 24 I also think she has an issue with clothing.

Speaker 17 I think she just likes tight and high clothing because she at one point gets injured on her arm, does not take off her sweater, just wraps her sweated arm where the injury is.

Speaker 45 So she's put a bandage over her sweater where the wound is.

Speaker 37 And then so it's bleeding through the sweater, which is then bleeding through the bandage.

Speaker 6 That is, by the way, a surefire way to get a wound infected. Yeah.

Speaker 34 Well, even before this scene, as soon as they're attacked in the furniture store, I mean, the women are all half-naked.

Speaker 34 And as soon as they're attacked and like run to the back room, they all start putting on their shirts. They've all been fucking in front of their very close friends,

Speaker 34 half-naked, and like then get dressed for the robots.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Well,

Speaker 45 their life, they got to get out of the mall.

Speaker 48 They got to go get a seat.

Speaker 6 But I agree with June.

Speaker 6 I agree with June. The rest of the movie, they should have been naked.
I agree. I also think, like June, the movie would have been better if the women didn't wear tops.

Speaker 6 What I'm saying is, like, ladies, let's

Speaker 6 go out of this mall now. Don't bother putting a top on.
Let those things flop around. Get out of here.
Get your priorities straight. June and I are on the same page about this.

Speaker 39 Finally, finally.

Speaker 13 Well,

Speaker 4 let's hear the dumbest line of all time.

Speaker 49 I guess I'm just not used to being chased around a mall in the middle of the night by killer robots.

Speaker 6 Good boyfriend.

Speaker 6 My favorite part is

Speaker 6 same character, Brunette,

Speaker 6 is at one point has a calculator and is making calculations.

Speaker 17 I got that too.

Speaker 33 Yeah, that too. Okay, good.

Speaker 44 I mean, you can explain it either way.

Speaker 6 This,

Speaker 6 I couldn't understand what this was even about. I feel like this is.

Speaker 34 Before this scene, when they're driving to the mall, they're in, I think, okay, and correct me if I'm wrong. They have started a business with their wedding money.

Speaker 6 Correct.

Speaker 34 An auto repair business. Yes.
The two of them. And she's great at it and he's not so great.

Speaker 6 And I think

Speaker 34 because I think what we're supposed to think is because

Speaker 34 they're not that great at it that the business is not doing that well. But they're still going to try to have a fun night.

Speaker 54 Right.

Speaker 23 I thought it was we spent all of our money on this auto repair shop.

Speaker 32 We can't go out and party, so let's go fuck in a mall.

Speaker 7 That's what I was, I thought it was like, we spent all our wedding money opening this business.

Speaker 34 Oh, so you're saying they couldn't like go out to dinner?

Speaker 6 Yeah. See, I felt like they spent all their wedding money on the business, and so now had to like fuck in front of other people for money.

Speaker 6 But I'm serious. What is

Speaker 35 well, what is she calculating?

Speaker 32 Well, I think this is her having a mental breakdown.

Speaker 41 But we'll hear her, like, I I have a theory here.

Speaker 49 According to my calculations,

Speaker 49 provided we survive in that, of course,

Speaker 49 we're gonna be in hog to this place for the next 85 years.

Speaker 49 How many tune-ups is that?

Speaker 6 Just a sec.

Speaker 55 She's so annoyed that he asked me. Two million.

Speaker 49 It's nine hundred thousand four hundred and thirty-one.

Speaker 49 Maybe we should raise our rates

Speaker 6 that's that's the we're gonna need a bigger boat of this movie

Speaker 6 what is she saying in the beginning of that that she's 85 years what is she could be here now i think i get i got it i know it yeah yeah i think she thinks that they are going to they are going to be financially responsible for

Speaker 6 the damage done to the mall by the robots that have literally murdered their friends they should not be small business owners.

Speaker 6 So, while hiding from the killer robots, she is calculating their financial responsibility. She's so convinced they're going to get fucked somehow by the system.

Speaker 6 She's like, if we manage to survive the night against killer robots, we're for sure going to have to pay for the damage to the mall. Well, that's why

Speaker 34 she will, you know, not be responsible for it.

Speaker 6 She should be like, we're going to be rich.

Speaker 6 For life.

Speaker 15 But that's why I feel like she's having a clear mental break.

Speaker 19 It's like, should we just hide here?

Speaker 24 Well, I'll just calculate how much.

Speaker 11 And that means that she's also calculating damage.

Speaker 61 Like, we blew up that cigarette machine,

Speaker 19 the flower vase.

Speaker 6 I'm going to rub that and say, they took

Speaker 6 that.

Speaker 43 It doesn't even look like she's hitting a calculator either. It looks like she's just tapping a notebook.

Speaker 45 But like it's not even a long-form calculator. So that means that she's not made a single mistake.

Speaker 40 She's like, 200.

Speaker 44 It's a very basic calculator.

Speaker 4 Well, look, I think that they basically were like, hey, look, we need this scene because the movie right now is coming at 64 minutes.

Speaker 6 By this logic, she could just as easily be like, oh, no, we killed that janitor.

Speaker 2 We did this.

Speaker 6 Like, she's taking personal responsibility for it.

Speaker 34 Well, and I thought for sure

Speaker 34 that her mechanic skills were going to come back at some point to

Speaker 34 dismantle a robot. That never happened.

Speaker 8 Well, they don't even let the girl who's good at shooting fucking shoot a gun.

Speaker 37 After she's shown, like, she can sharp shoot, like, bam, it explodes.

Speaker 9 Then the next thing when everyone's shooting guns, she's like standing there without a gun, like cowering behind a mannequin.

Speaker 6 It's like, give her the fucking gun. I've got another question.
When they're like, when it's her idea, smartly to create a diversion using the mannequins, why are they hidden amongst the mannequins?

Speaker 6 If your idea is, let's put the mannequins out so the robots shoot the mannequins. Don't mix yourselves in because it's

Speaker 6 the mannequins allow you to go hide. That's the point.
You're not like, ooh, now we're camouflaged within, because they'll just shoot everything. What are you, stupid? Fucking go hide somewhere.

Speaker 6 And they're all like...

Speaker 6 You fucking assholes.

Speaker 34 Listen, I think when you know it's a mall movie, you expect that our characters are going to be pretending to be mannequins at some point.

Speaker 6 I think they worked backwards for this movie,

Speaker 6 this movie needed more music. I feel like this movie needed more like weird 80s music.

Speaker 20 I mean, this is like this is a rejected John Carpenter music.

Speaker 6 I do, before we go to the audience, because there's more to talk about, but I do want to talk about

Speaker 34 the opening montage.

Speaker 19 well the opening montage I want to talk about

Speaker 23 well let's talk about that then because I wanted to can anyone describe why the dads were fighting over the video game thing like so a kid is playing a video game a dad or I assume a dad knocks the kid out then he starts playing then another dad's like get out of there and he starts playing it just seemed like an odd like commentary on like Is that what was happening in the video game places of the things that happen in a mall, you know?

Speaker 34 I guess it felt like the whole opening was, okay, this is, you know, consumerism at its height, but it's also like clumsiness at its height.

Speaker 34 Like, this is the age of, you know, excess and also like we all forgot how to walk.

Speaker 15 Well, especially when you see some big boobs, like when those women in bikinis kind of thing, the guy is like carrying a bunch of boxes, like, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Speaker 10 He falls.

Speaker 45 And then he's like, he's like a dog that those eyes pop out of his head and like an old like Tex AV cartoon.

Speaker 6 He's like,

Speaker 6 get those.

Speaker 44 I don't even understand that instinct of like a guy like, you know, walking out through.

Speaker 8 That's not a real, that does not happen.

Speaker 6 I would love it if like the guy saw the women on the escalate and just like, shit, his fans.

Speaker 13 It was just like, oh,

Speaker 6 like, that's the equivalent of what's happening. He's just.

Speaker 34 And who were those women, by the way?

Speaker 55 It was like a beauty competition.

Speaker 6 And I do think that's the mall.

Speaker 34 But they do do like,

Speaker 43 they do, guys, they do do like modeling like searches and stuff.

Speaker 6 Oh, okay.

Speaker 6 Mary. I didn't buy that.
I would buy that. Mary, that's a good segue.
How were you discovered?

Speaker 34 Well, there I was.

Speaker 6 I did work at the bottom. At House of Almonds.

Speaker 36 At House of Almonds.

Speaker 43 I did work at a Discovery Channel pop-up store in a mall.

Speaker 6 Brad. Really?

Speaker 43 And there was a locker room.

Speaker 6 Oh, wow. There was a locker room.

Speaker 48 Was there a luggage tent in the middle of the mall floor that just in case you fell from an upper story, the empty luggage would have.

Speaker 43 It also had stuffed animals in that tent. It was full of stuffed animals in the world.

Speaker 17 Or a hero falls off into a just oddly placed, not a luggage store, just like a luggage pop-up.

Speaker 2 Because that's the most common thing that you would maybe have in a mall, a luggage store.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 61 Oh, my God.

Speaker 31 Oh, I do want to talk about...

Speaker 40 This is the thing that blew my mind.

Speaker 18 Whenever the robots would kill somebody, like, thank you.

Speaker 32 Have a nice day, right?

Speaker 6 They would say that.

Speaker 15 So when our lead actress kills the robot, like, gets them all dead at the end, she says, have a nice day.

Speaker 5 And to me, I'm like, wouldn't you want to subvert it?

Speaker 28 Wouldn't you want to, like, like, there's nothing clever about it.

Speaker 43 I did have a nice day.

Speaker 44 Yeah.

Speaker 45 Or, like, yeah, like, have a nice life. Like, you know, like, it's just simply like, oh, yeah, you said that.

Speaker 48 Now I say that.

Speaker 6 Like, like,

Speaker 6 not even the full phrase. Yeah.
Well, half of it.

Speaker 34 Also, I couldn't understand why they were programmed to say have a nice day. If they are, they're not robot.
They're not like welcome robots at the mall.

Speaker 6 Customers. They are only there.

Speaker 38 And they're only working at night.

Speaker 34 They're only there at night to catch thieves.

Speaker 6 I agree.

Speaker 48 I did think, though, that that final line, like, I feel like they didn't, nobody had like a line like, you buffed up bolts, like, you know, go back, you know, now you're on the discount rack.

Speaker 11 Like, there's a million things you could say.

Speaker 44 Or, like, you know, like, I always thought you needed another coat of paint. Like, whatever the thing was.

Speaker 6 Yeah. How many of these did you write?

Speaker 6 One, two.

Speaker 19 Let me get my calculator out.

Speaker 2 2,415.

Speaker 8 No, but it's like that, like, it just is so anticlimactic.

Speaker 9 And then she...

Speaker 4 walks away from saying her have a nice dayline with that limp and I really thought for a moment thought it was gonna be like usual suspects like a Kaiser Soze moment where that limp went away and she was like, the robots were all my idea.

Speaker 43 I'm a robot.

Speaker 15 And lasers come out of her eyes.

Speaker 5 But yeah, the ending is really

Speaker 27 anticlimactic.

Speaker 39 I mean, they kill it, and then the guy that they think is dead is like, nope, I was fine.

Speaker 6 Toilet paper. Toilet paper.

Speaker 6 And the only people who did not have sex survived the movie.

Speaker 43 And that's how it should be.

Speaker 6 Yep.

Speaker 6 The fornicators were punished

Speaker 2 by the robot gods.

Speaker 65 Well, let's go into the crowd and let's talk to them about some stuff.

Speaker 2 All right, here we go.

Speaker 61 Oh my gosh,

Speaker 17 you've done this show.

Speaker 65 You've sang our song so many times.

Speaker 66 Let's see.

Speaker 53 Sir, your name,

Speaker 32 your title for this film, and besides Chopping Mall, and your question.

Speaker 66 My name's Tim. I'd go with the original title Killbots.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 32 The movie was called Killbots.

Speaker 23 It was released in the theaters and then pulled because no one wanted to see a movie called Killbots. They released it a few months later as Chopping Mall and was much more successful.

Speaker 66 And the doctor that you talked about, who's at the top of the movie, his name is Dr. Carrington.

Speaker 66 And I was wondering if it's possible that he's the father of Michael Carrington, and this is a shared universe with Greece too.

Speaker 6 Wow.

Speaker 32 Talk amongst yourselves, I think.

Speaker 34 I'd say maybe, but he wasn't British, and Michael is, so it just doesn't seem likely.

Speaker 6 So,

Speaker 6 stupid question, Tim. Stupid question.

Speaker 65 So, next question. Let's see.

Speaker 32 Next question. What's your name, your alternate title, and your question?

Speaker 66 My name's Chris. The alternate title I think should be

Speaker 49 Laserbots.

Speaker 32 Laserbots, got it, love it.

Speaker 66 Because they didn't chop anybody.

Speaker 17 You're right. They did not chop.

Speaker 2 Sometimes throat punctured.

Speaker 19 puncture bots.

Speaker 6 They roadhoused that first guy.

Speaker 26 Yeah, there's a lot of throat ripping, and I don't understand why they wouldn't just use lasers at all times.

Speaker 6 Always, always use a laser.

Speaker 34 Well, I guess I don't also know, like, what would a chop be?

Speaker 5 Well, like a slicing them up.

Speaker 6 Oh, okay. Oh, my.

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 66 Okay.

Speaker 66 I was just wondering if they had any lawsuits from all the big name advertisements that were in the movie, like GE and Coca-Cola and all those.

Speaker 8 Yeah, nothing was covered in the movie.

Speaker 39 Like, nothing at all was.

Speaker 6 I think all those companies were happy to have this

Speaker 6 as a representation of their products, especially probably the paint company. That's like, apparently, our paint is incredibly flammable.

Speaker 43 And so many different shades.

Speaker 8 Look at all the different shades.

Speaker 26 That's not

Speaker 6 a good sign for somebody redoing their house.

Speaker 34 I mean, that store blew up.

Speaker 47 It really did. That was the one shot that was.

Speaker 6 And how, I mean, she, in what, I'm going to say one and a half minutes emptied 70 gallons of paint.

Speaker 2 They quick, quick cut to her being like, Crank?

Speaker 6 Crank?

Speaker 6 She opened so much paint.

Speaker 21 Okay, your name, your alternate title, and your question.

Speaker 67 My name is Brie. I'd go with Furniture Store Fuck Sesh Interrupted.

Speaker 6 Say it again. Wait, what is it?

Speaker 17 Furniture Store Fuck Sesh Interrupted.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 18 It's a longer title, but I like it.

Speaker 15 I like Fuck Sesh Interrupted.

Speaker 67 What guest appearance from another How Did This Get Made movie All-Star would be better to help improve the film?

Speaker 67 Would it be a Gene Simmons character in Runaway or Hollywood Montrose from Mannequin 2 on the move?

Speaker 23 Oh, wow, this is interesting.

Speaker 56 So we've done a few mall-based films.

Speaker 44 Who would we like to see?

Speaker 6 Or mall-based and robot robots.

Speaker 18 So we have Gene Simmons as the evil inventor of the spider robot from the Tom Selk movie Roberts.

Speaker 6 I will say,

Speaker 6 I don't know that I would choose Hollywood, but I would have loved it if one of the characters in this movie was a come-to-life mannequin in the mall.

Speaker 6 So if they were at the

Speaker 6 furniture storagey and were like, and then one of the mannequins was just like, I'm here too, let's do it.

Speaker 6 What if when the robots were firing at the mannequins, one came to life, like, oh, I'm going to die. Like, here's things I want.
I don't want aliens versus predator I want mannequin versus robot

Speaker 41 okay MBR okay so your name your alternate title

Speaker 66 name is Roberts alternate title would be chop till you drop oh like oh I like that one good there's no chopping it's more pinching yeah okay but I'll take it yeah and my question is would the robots are the robots possessed because like they're totally fucking with that guy in the beginning of the movie the guy like inside the security station what's going on with that that's I don't think they're possessed.

Speaker 6 I just think they're hilarious. They think they're hilarious.

Speaker 6 That's what I meant by. They kept looking at each other, like, get a load of this.

Speaker 43 I also like the guy holding up a center fold and just like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 43 Did that happen at work?

Speaker 6 Fuck yeah.

Speaker 34 But I think what your question speaks to a larger point and what you were saying too, Jason, like the road, the personality of the robots, it's hard to pin down because they don't, I can't why I want to say this, they don't feel evil to me.

Speaker 6 Wow.

Speaker 6 It doesn't feel like their motivations are somewhat bad. Questioned the moral goodness of BB-8.

Speaker 34 I know.

Speaker 6 You are on board for three murderous robots.

Speaker 34 I think they felt.

Speaker 6 Misunderstood, question mark. They felt like...

Speaker 34 Spoiled brats. You know, but they didn't feel like they were.

Speaker 6 So they were the teenagers of the robots. Yes.

Speaker 34 They felt like teens. Like a bunch of male, white male teens.

Speaker 60 That's the teen fuck fest.

Speaker 43 That's the teen fuck fest.

Speaker 26 So they weren't invited to the fuck fest, so they went out to the business.

Speaker 36 Interesting.

Speaker 32 All right, we've uncovered something.

Speaker 56 I don't know what.

Speaker 21 Sir, your name, your alternate title, and your question.

Speaker 2 My name is Bill.

Speaker 56 Alternate title is Mall of Kill America.

Speaker 66 Ooh, I like it. Question is: During the scene that they had the furniture storagey,

Speaker 16 they

Speaker 16 a lot of good fucking works. A lot of good.
It fucking works.

Speaker 6 A lot of good planning over there. Doesn't it feel good to say?

Speaker 6 Doesn't it feel great to say?

Speaker 11 Storgy.

Speaker 66 The song that was playing during that, when they were dancing, was a song called Street Walking,

Speaker 66 followed up with the line, It's the best that I can do,

Speaker 66 which is the theme for Roger Corman's Street Walking

Speaker 6 movie as well.

Speaker 66 So this is also a shared universe with Street Walkin'.

Speaker 41 Wow. All right.

Speaker 18 So we're going deep into the Roger Corman.

Speaker 27 Everything here.

Speaker 6 The Corman verse.

Speaker 18 I love that Streetwalking.

Speaker 15 You know,

Speaker 29 the one thing that I noticed in this movie, too, and it's just, again, goes to the laziness of some moments of it, some,

Speaker 18 all of it, is there's a PA announcement like, attention, there's a lost child in the lingerie department.

Speaker 46 And then they go,

Speaker 39 answers to the name Steven.

Speaker 6 Answers to the name?

Speaker 6 So then

Speaker 6 somebody was like, Mark, Peter, Peter, Billy, William,

Speaker 6 Frank, Mitch, Glenn, Gary,

Speaker 6 Marcus,

Speaker 6 Ross.

Speaker 6 Why would you ever go like what when you

Speaker 8 but even when it finally works when you go whose name is Steven?

Speaker 6 Yes, through process of elimination, we found it I think I've done everything. Stephen? Yes.

Speaker 6 It's Stephen.

Speaker 6 By the way, smart kid. Found him in the lingerie department.

Speaker 2 He gets it.

Speaker 21 Your name, your all title, and your question.

Speaker 55 My name is Cecily, and I don't really have a good title, like Easily Avoidable Decisions, the film.

Speaker 55 And then I just wanted to point out that on the Wikipedia page, there's a blurb where it says that it's one of the only films where when they aired it on TV, they had to make it longer by like 20 minutes.

Speaker 55 Like they extended it to a 90-minute film.

Speaker 44 That is amazing.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 18 Because it couldn't make, I guess the, they probably have a two-hour slot that TV TV needs to fill.

Speaker 34 So with the full credits and everything.

Speaker 6 And commercials. Yeah.
And get opening montage.

Speaker 45 Well, it's only 77 minutes, so even a 90-minute movie is the normal two-hour filler.

Speaker 15 That's crazy.

Speaker 46 Where did they find this extra footage?

Speaker 55 They added the scene where the virgins are watching the old movie. They just extended that for a really long time.

Speaker 6 They showed 11 minutes of that movie.

Speaker 6 You saw the third act of a monster movie just close up on a television

Speaker 6 in the furniture store.

Speaker 19 Who has a good question?

Speaker 18 We have one last question.

Speaker 32 Tonight, by the way, everybody asking questions are getting some comic books from our friends over at Coliseum of Comics and also zines from Daniel Joel Katz, who makes his own zines about movies.

Speaker 61 Who has a good one?

Speaker 56 Who feels really confident?

Speaker 3 Oh, wow, this guy feels really confident.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 5 No animated hands.

Speaker 19 Because Because you have a book. I see a book.

Speaker 61 Books always make me feel like there is some thought here.

Speaker 33 All right, let's see.

Speaker 6 Oh, and a blazer.

Speaker 2 And a book and a blazer.

Speaker 61 All right, let's see.

Speaker 21 All right, sir, here you go. Your name, you're all told.

Speaker 6 We're going to Largo. I wore a blazer.
I like it.

Speaker 61 It's respectful.

Speaker 6 And a pocket.

Speaker 15 I want people to start dressing up as the characters from these movies when they come here, but you didn't do that.

Speaker 56 Here you go. Name's Brian.

Speaker 6 Rambo Graham. Okay, great.

Speaker 56 So I want to bring up the women in the beginning with the bikinis.

Speaker 6 They're wearing sashes, and what they said were, the Park Plaza Mall, the future is now,

Speaker 31 have a ball, and take the kids.

Speaker 16 So they were like a walking advertisement for the mall.

Speaker 38 That's amazing.

Speaker 6 The future is now.

Speaker 6 What if you just saw them wandering independently? So there's just a woman with a sash that says, take the kids.

Speaker 36 Yeah, they have creeps.

Speaker 6 Some creeps like, I got the go-ahead.

Speaker 6 I got the go-ahead that I've been looking for. I finally got a message from God.

Speaker 6 Take the kids.

Speaker 17 This is the original poster for Killbots, just a big picture of the robot, which they clearly then just replaced with a mall.

Speaker 6 Obviously, we had an opinion about this film, but there are other people out there that had a different opinion.

Speaker 23 It's now time for second opinions.

Speaker 11 Here's David and Kate.

Speaker 68 I have an opinion, but here it does not matter. At how did this get made? Second opinions are much better.

Speaker 68 Amazon has them all. Paul reads them out with glee.
Second opinion bring much joy to all of you and me. Kumate.

Speaker 27 And now here's Kate.

Speaker 60 Hey, hey, just saw a really bad movie.

Speaker 60 Hey, hey, it couldn't end too soon.

Speaker 60 Hey, hey, it was a super bad movie. But I'd do just about anything for Jason, Paul, and June.
Now I've got an opinion and it's pretty low. But there's just some people for whom that isn't so.

Speaker 60 This is their opinion, their second opinion.

Speaker 33 Amazing.

Speaker 6 Wow.

Speaker 12 Both winners.

Speaker 6 Holy moly.

Speaker 6 That's how it's done.

Speaker 58 That is how it is done.

Speaker 2 Kate, David.

Speaker 39 Amazing.

Speaker 19 Wow.

Speaker 15 Those were awesome.

Speaker 33 Holy cow,

Speaker 33 that was just great.

Speaker 6 A lot of people are going to be driving home tonight. Really angry.
Like, you should have gotten up there.

Speaker 56 No, no.

Speaker 6 You said you were going to, you should have.

Speaker 9 That's the way to come.

Speaker 28 Come with some lyrics. Come with...

Speaker 6 That was awesome. Very good.
Great.

Speaker 45 All right, so obviously second opinions here are a little bit harder.

Speaker 6 Still waiting for a full band to show up someday.

Speaker 2 Does anybody have anything?

Speaker 6 Like, people like saxophones and guitars.

Speaker 11 Where can we set up?

Speaker 27 All right, this one is from...

Speaker 6 Can we get a sound check?

Speaker 29 This one here is from Robin B.

Speaker 27 McGorm.

Speaker 24 This was back in 2013.

Speaker 20 Security robots, yes, they sound good.

Speaker 31 Trained to kill and shoot all trespassers, even forget to listen to all orders and commands.

Speaker 32 Sound like little terrors to me.

Speaker 18 Well, on the first night, they do their job at a shopping mall that has some shop assistants staying for a bit of fun.

Speaker 32 The fun you do when your folks aren't home to interrupt your basic needs.

Speaker 27 When your folks aren't home at the mall.

Speaker 39 And then

Speaker 21 first class entertainment that will not be forgotten too soon, different and surprisingly marvelous to watch.

Speaker 56 Plenty of action and suspense that you wonder where the little horrors are, so you have to be on your toes at all times.

Speaker 19 Sit and relax, grab the popcorn put your feet up and rate this an a plus grade for an unforgettable enjoyment of a wonderful show

Speaker 20 it's an odd a wonderful show a wonderful show and seems to have like this like idea like these little terrors getting in and mixing it up these scamps yeah um

Speaker 44 um this is the one incorrigible kill bots this one like got me a little bit like i want to unpack it a little bit this is a

Speaker 15 this one was just written as one of my all-time favorite 80s horror movies it's been a while since I last saw this movie and it still gives me that guilty pleasure of seeing robots kill those teenagers

Speaker 15 uh-oh

Speaker 11 that's not a guilty pleasure that's a red flag my friend

Speaker 6 Just like the feeling I get when I put kittens into buckets of water, this movie makes me feel what other people call alive.

Speaker 44 And then goes, favorite scene was when the girl gets her head blown off by the laser beam.

Speaker 10 Dot, dot, dot.

Speaker 6 Love it.

Speaker 6 So if you... Dot, dot, dot, I directed this movie.
I'm a creep.

Speaker 44 If you ever encounter Rob Robles, beware.

Speaker 32 And then finally, this is from the Sultan of Sexy.

Speaker 34 I believe it.

Speaker 44 He goes like this.

Speaker 20 If you were in your 20s back when this came out, like I was, all you cared about was how much skin you saw and how much gore got thrown at you.

Speaker 19 There could have been a bit more skin, but I guess we can't have

Speaker 19 everything.

Speaker 7 It's worth the money, even if Miss Moroney kept her clothes on.

Speaker 57 Darn it.

Speaker 2 Five stars.

Speaker 52 So there we go.

Speaker 36 Were these all written by the director?

Speaker 24 These oddly also are all written within the the late 2000s.

Speaker 15 This was written in 2010, that last one, the guy who likes to see teenagers get killed.

Speaker 45 That was in 2017.

Speaker 26 And then the first one was in 2013.

Speaker 25 These people are checking into this movie a little bit later.

Speaker 31 Well, I think we talked about everything there is to talk about.

Speaker 41 We really got a whole viewpoint in here.

Speaker 33 But let's talk about what everyone's got going on.

Speaker 62 Mary,

Speaker 66 what do you want to plug?

Speaker 43 You can follow me on Twitter at mholland85. And I post about shows that I'm doing here at Largo and at UCB and

Speaker 43 other things coming up. Jennifer.

Speaker 31 You're going to be on Veep this season, which is very cool.

Speaker 43 Yes, on Veep this season. I did an episode of Drive Share on Go 90.

Speaker 65 She was on the show that Rob and I did, Rob Peeble and I, and that's on Go 90.

Speaker 32 Yeah, super fun stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 3 June.

Speaker 34 Breaking comes out March 24th. Right.

Speaker 6 With his third season.

Speaker 6 We'll be out by the time this is out.

Speaker 40 Yes, that'll be good.

Speaker 66 And then, Jason.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I ain't got nothing. All right.

Speaker 26 A big thank you to Brett Morris up in the booth.

Speaker 20 Everybody here at Largle, Largle, or Largo.

Speaker 42 Everybody here at Largo.

Speaker 6 Flanny changed the name. Largle.

Speaker 2 Largle.

Speaker 29 Avril Halley, who pulled all these amazing clips and listened to all these commentaries.

Speaker 10 July Diaz, Nick Kiley, Kelly Alto, Leanna Waldron, and everybody at Irwolf.

Speaker 8 Thank you so much. And thank you for all for coming tonight.

Speaker 58 So great.

Speaker 6 Thank you to David and Kate for singing the songs.

Speaker 20 Your coworkers eating mystery leftovers.

Speaker 2 Again, but you, you respect your lunch break.

Speaker 37 Grab a new toasted pizza sandwich from Jimmy John's.

Speaker 6 Yeah, toast it.

Speaker 54 Try the Sicilian salami, capicolo, ham, rich marinara, gooey mozzarella, and oregano basil, all on golden French bread.

Speaker 54 Or go cheese mode with the three cheese, parmesan, provolo, and mozzarella, dripping with marinara and herbs. Hot, melty, seriously satisfying.

Speaker 15 Order one, Fronto, Jimmy John's new toasted pizza sandwiches.

Speaker 54 Oh, that's good. At participating locations for a limited time while supplies last.

Speaker 57 Hey, this is Jeff Lewis from Radio Andy. Live and uncensored.
Catch me talking with my friends about my latest obsessions, relationship issues, and bodily ailments.

Speaker 57 With that kind of drama that seems to follow me, you never know what's going to happen.

Speaker 59 You can listen to Jeff Lewis Live at home or anywhere you are. Download the SiriusXTem app for over 425 channels of ad-free music, sports, entertainment, and more.

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