The Rule of Make it Two

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I am Bailiff Jesse Thorne.

We're clearing the docket this week.

I am joined, of course, by the illustrious Judge John Hodgman.

Hi, Judge.

Do I look shiny to you?

Is that what you mean?

Illustrious?

Yes.

You need some powder, John.

You need a little powder?

I went to the Sephora.

When we started recording our episodes on video, I went to the Sephora, went up to the counter, hat in hand, and said, is there someone here that can help me with makeups?

Yeah.

And then a very illustrious young man helped me out.

An illustrious young man.

Yeah.

One time I was working on, here's a bit of showbiz trivia.

Hey, Joel Mann up here at WERU in Maine.

Do you know I used to be on television sometimes?

Yes, I do.

All right.

Anyway, I was on television sometimes, and one time I went on a show.

And I was so excited to work on this little TV show

because it starred a very good friend of mine.

Two very good friends of mine, indeed.

A couple of famous podcasters, you might say.

Anyone would.

Not Time magazine, but whatever.

Neither are we.

Cut that.

No, leave it in.

Double it.

Point is

way back when I had to go down to Georgia.

No, I'm not the devil.

Nor can I play the fiddle.

I was playing second fiddle to a couple of podcasters.

And I got in that makeup chair to get my makeup put on.

And the co-lead of the show said, I'm not going to have any makeup.

It's not for me.

Do you know who that was?

I genuinely don't.

Just went on camera without any makeup on and looked amazing, no matter what.

His name is Chuck Bryant.

Oh, wow.

And maybe someday he'll join us here on our podcast.

Why not today, John?

How could that be, though?

Chuck lives in Georgia.

I'm up here in Maine with Joel.

You're in Los Angeles.

Are you telling me some kind of technology is going to allow us to talk to each other?

Indeed.

Using the the power of the internet, joining us on this program is one of the greatest podcasters of all time, co-host of the podcast Stuff You Should Know, our friend Charles Bryant.

Hi, Chuck.

Hey, guys, but also not on Time Magazine's list of all-time great podcasts.

I know.

I haven't read the list.

Here's the thing.

They made a list of 100 greatest podcasts of all time.

Right.

I'm pretty sure I'm on the list, but I have not checked the list.

So I'm pretty sure I'm on there.

Seems like it would make sense.

I'm in the podcasting hall of fame.

So I haven't looked to see.

I haven't looked to see if I'm on the list, but I presume I'm on the list.

I got to say, Chuck,

I did look on the list, and I was not surprised for whatever reason to see that we were not on the list.

Me, John Hodgman.

Jesse's probably on the list somewhere.

Probably.

Because he's got

a lot of different podcasts.

Yeah.

And Jesse, Jesse is the guy behind the guy, behind the guy who, you know, know, he's practically

invented podcasts.

He practically was an MTV

former VJ living in Scandinavia inventing podcasts.

Right.

And eventually becoming a member of the alt-right, I think.

Oh, that's why I didn't want to say his name.

I didn't know that.

All right.

Yeah.

It was

Pragley invented podcasts until Conan O'Brien came around and reinvented them.

But I was very surprised not to see stuff you should know on the on the list because

one of the most important podcasts there is not just in culture but in the history of podcasting that wasn't the criteria john we might have been on important but this was best yeah the best is amy poehler's podcast that's uh yeah in in the in the nine episodes she's produced she's really proved that

she's great no one has a problem with amy poehler she's i know i wish it wasn't amy poehor so i could be more angry

I think we might need to hide this one.

I think people might need to request this one with an essay question from the library before they get it because now we're getting into, we're getting, we're getting, we're getting into some dish, some podcast and dish.

Right now, Chuck is preparing for an episode about heavy metal.

Have you learned anything interesting so far about heavy metal, Chuck?

Yeah.

I mean, that's a subject I'm well acquainted with.

That's not always the case, of course, with the weird breadth of our topics, but I grew up in an era where there was plenty of that on my radio.

So I haven't learned anything brand new yet.

And of course, we're recording this in the wake of the death of one of the pioneers of Heavy Metal, Ozzie Osborne.

Yeah.

Where were you when you heard the news, Chuck?

I was on the internet, I was watching the internet.

Yeah, I was at home, and I think somebody texted me.

Yeah, how'd you take the death of Ozzie Osborne?

How'd you feel about it?

I listened to Black Sabbath in the early days when I was in the Navy School of Music and really liked it.

But then I kind of lost track of it.

It refocused on the field hippies.

Yeah.

You know, John, speaking of musicians who passed, a legend of Judge John Hodgman passed just recently.

Tom Lehr at the age of 97, the legendary comic singer-songwriter.

And I had not shared this previously because it felt like speaking out of school.

But since he is now gone, I thought I would share this little thing on the show, which is.

So you may remember, John, that when you found out that Tom Lehre was my professor in college.

I fell off my chair.

And that his phone number was in the phone book.

And then I climbed back up on my chair and said, let's call it.

Yeah, my friend Tyler McNiven, when we were in college, called him, looked up his phone number

in the phone book, called him

and arranged to come to his house to bring him a gift, which was a pineapple for some reason.

I don't remember why that was.

It had something to do with him being a math professor.

But it is going to be the 25th anniversary of my show, Bullseye, formerly the sound of Young America, in the autumn.

And

people probably know it, I presume, from the 100 Greatest Podcasts of All Time list.

And so I was going to do a show in Santa Cruz, still am going to do a show in Santa Cruz to celebrate the 25th anniversary, Santa Cruz being where the show started.

That's going to be incredible, by the way.

And so I messaged...

Weird Al Yankovic.

Yeah.

I sent an email to Weird Al Yankovic and I said, hey,

that's a paraphrase of a Paul F.

Tompkins joke.

I must give credit where credit is due.

I know that you're friendly with Tom Laird.

Do you happen to have his email address?

I wanted to invite him on my show because he was my professor when I was at Santa Cruz.

He said, I do have his email address.

I'm glad to give it to you.

Just so you know, the last couple of times I emailed him, he did not email me back.

So I was like, whatever.

I'm going to send him an email.

What's the worst that could happen?

You know, he just doesn't email me back.

The man's 97 years old.

He can do whatever he wants.

As he once famously said, what's the use of having laurels if you don't rest on them?

Yeah.

But anyway, I sent him an email and said, I'm doing a show in Santa Cruz.

I would love you for you to come on the show.

I used to be in your class.

You used to let me plug my show, like I would plug my guests that were coming up on the show in class.

It was very nice.

It was a very fun class.

And I sent it to his AOL email.

And he emailed me back a day later, maybe?

Oh.

And this is the message that he sent me.

Hi, Jesse.

I can't find your name on any class lists, but I assume that's merely due to my faulty record keeping.

Anyway, as you have surmised, I have not done any interviews or talk shows in many years.

Many was underlined.

I am now 97.

And though vertical and reasonably coherent, will not be doing anything like that in the future.

Thanks for your interest, Tom Lair.

Oh.

Soft pass.

Anyway, I was grateful to get an email back from Tom Lair.

He will be well remembered.

Let me say that.

Yeah, absolutely.

He and Ozzie Osborne are poisoning pigeons in the park and then biting their heads off in heaven now.

I was just joking, of course, there's no heaven.

There's no afterlife.

Should we get into the cases here?

Let's get into it.

What we're going to do today, everybody, is we're going to clear the docket.

We're so happy to to have Chuck back.

Such a good friend.

He appeared on the podcast when there was a dispute about whether or not he could widen his dining room door.

I don't even remember how I ruled, but I've walked through that wide dining room door.

You did widen it, didn't you?

Yes, sir.

And it's beautiful.

Thank you.

It's perfect.

I hope I ruled the right way.

I don't remember.

I don't remember either, but I'm sure it was great.

Yeah, I'm usually more of a make-it-wide guy, you know?

Yeah.

You're not mad about me.

Sure.

And another thing, so we're going to, we're going to settle some cases that are close to our hearts and interests.

And then the other thing that some of you may remember is that during the Max FunCon retreats that we would do at Lake Arrowhead, Chuck and I would frequently co-host an afternoon trivia quiz.

And

we got very used to, well, I should say, we got very used to asking the questions and one of us got very drunk on power.

I remember some issues and concerns with regard to people getting drunk on other things.

We had to have a talk with the bartenders about slowing down the pace of service.

Yeah.

I was like, no, keep it going, keep it going.

I may or may not have ordered some people who are out of order to run a lap around the building, which is monstrous because I can't run a lap around anything.

So that's coming up in the third act, but we do have some dockets to clear right now, Jesse.

So

what's the first issue of the day?

Here's a case from Ian in Baltimore, Maryland.

When we're hiking, my partner Kate likes to pick up small keepsakes ranging from pieces of trash to moss and dead leaves.

It's an interesting range.

Sometimes these are made into thoughtful gifts or put on display in our house, but other times they're warehoused in drawers.

I prefer she leave no trace and leave all of these things where she she has found them.

This search for detritus has become a part of every walk.

Help.

Chuck, you're an outdoors person.

Yeah.

I've been to your campsite and you keep a good campsite, Chuck.

That was a good time.

And even when you're not at your campsite, you're always walking around outdoors.

Yeah.

What's your policy on picking up things in the woods?

Well, I mean, it kind of depends on what it is.

You know, there's a, what you're supposed to do as as a good steward of the earth is to really try not to disturb anything.

Right.

Natural or unnatural.

I know you have the problems with the, what are they, the cairns in Maine?

Yeah.

Well, that was in western Massachusetts.

People would build cairns, but it's controversial here in Maine as well.

Cairns are a fancy word for pile of rocks, artful pile of rocks.

Yeah, but you're not supposed to do that even.

No, well, certainly not in the national park known as Acadia National Park.

Yeah.

Because they use the Park Service builds cairns to indicate trails.

So if you're out there building your own cairns, you could be sending someone off Mr.

Magoo-like into the woods to die.

So you don't want to do that.

This is not nom.

This is hiking.

There are rules.

Yes, that's exactly right, Jesse.

That's exactly right.

But, Chuck, we're not talking about putting rocks on top of other rocks here.

Like pulling trash out of the woods.

Probably that's a good idea, right?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, pulling trash.

If you got room,

like when I'm boating around, I'm sure you do, John.

If you see a

beer can in the water, like throw it in so it's not lonely.

Exactly.

It's the rule of make it two.

See a one, make it two.

The rule of making it two.

So yeah, pull all that trash out.

How often are you seeing

beer cans in your lake?

Every time I go out in a boat.

I'll tell you what.

I know, it's very disappointing.

I see this in the ocean.

The ocean takes it away.

The lake holds on to its trash.

You know what I mean, lakes.

Right.

So what do you think between Kate and

her partner, Ian?

Well, I mean, how much is being toted out remind me?

Well, everything from pieces of trash to moss and dead leaves.

Well, I mean, you should definitely not take out moss and dead leaves.

I mean, that's part of the natural environment.

Right.

Like I said, to begin with.

So, yeah, I mean, pull the trash out taking strange moss out of the woods also sounds like the beginning of an alien invasion movie you're going to become a moss person probably

yeah jennifer marma just texted me jesse thorne she has an important question for us to ask chuck okay

leave moss and dead leaves fine but what about cool rocks and good sticks Yeah, it's a great question, Jen.

Cool rocks and good sticks, Chuck?

That is tough because I've taken a cool stick before.

Have you?

And probably a cool rock.

Well, I don't even know if I should say this.

I took a rock from

a very small rock from Big Pink,

the house where the band lived when they lived in Woodstock and were recording with Bob Dylan.

Oh, wow.

Legendary Music House.

I've been there a couple of times in Woodstock, and I took a very small rock with...

the intention of painting that rock somehow to later go back and put it on Lee Bonhelm's grave.

Oh, you're completing a psychic circle, a cultural circle.

That's how I justified it.

It's just an ecological circle.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I once stole a rock from Levon Helm's grave.

Well, you got to reverse that, and then you can give me that rock so I can make it too.

Yeah, you got to make it too.

So anyway, yeah, Katie,

leave.

you know, leave the moss and the dead leaves alone.

Take out the trash.

Leave the organic material.

Should she keep the trash in her special drawer?

Yes, keep the trash in your special trash drawer or turn it into a nice gift.

But

I would leave the other organic material behind.

You're supposed to leave no trace.

We're going to take a quick break to hear from this week's partners.

We'll be back with more cases to clear from the docket on the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

Hello, I'm your Judge John Hodgman.

The Judge John Hodgman podcast is brought to you every week by you, our members, of course.

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Just go to maximumfund.org slash join.

The Judge John Hodgman podcast is also brought to you this week by Made In.

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Let them know Jesse and John sent you.

Welcome back to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

We're clearing the the docket with our friend Chuck Bryant from the Smash Hit podcast, Stuff You Should Know.

Chuck, you also were the host of the podcast Movie Crush.

I was a guest on that podcast.

I had a great time.

What did you talk about?

I think we talked about a thousand clowns, didn't we, John?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was.

I really enjoyed that episode because people don't often get to hear about your story.

Thank you.

We have a movie-related case for you, John, from Johanna in Atlanta.

When I see a movie in theaters, I want to leave when the movie ends, but my partner likes staying for after-credits scenes.

The after-credits trend is offensive to me.

I think these scenes are bad and unnecessary, but my partner wants to get 100% of the content he paid for.

Please let me leave during the credits.

Chuck, you remember when I was first on Movie Crush?

Yeah, I believe we covered a Marvel film.

Yeah, we covered it.

And continued to.

You were like, what movie you want to talk about?

I'm like, I don't know.

He's like, what's your favorite movie?

And I'm like, Marvel's the Avengers, which is the official title of the movie.

And I feel like you lost some respect for me that day.

Well, I knew it was the third man.

No, not anymore.

The third man.

Okay.

The third man.

John's the Avengers.

Yeah, Marvel's the Avengers.

Anyway, Marvel is credited or blamed i think for the explosion of post-credit scenes uh how do you what do you think about them in popular culture uh chuck are you pro or con

well i mean you know i stick around and watch them i will agree a little bit with the uh person who wrote in um

that they're often not very good anymore um i kind of appreciate them more when they tease maybe something coming up and it's not just some kind of dumb joke but there's been a couple of of the dumb joke ones.

I think one of the Avengers were they sitting around eating tacos or something?

That's in Marvel's the Avengers.

The first one, yeah.

I mean, that's kind of funny.

They come back to them and they pay off a sort of a joke at the end of the climax when Tony Stark says, Let's get some schwarma after this.

Oh, sharma, that's right.

And then you see them all eating schwarma together silently, which was sort of fun.

I'll tell you what, I saw Marvel's the Avengers, John.

Yeah, didn't know about that after-credit sequence.

Why?

Stopped watching when the credits rolled.

Okay.

You're out of there.

Later for you, Marvels the Avengers.

Congratulations on being a B-

Two for you, middle fingers.

Wow.

Yeah.

Make it two.

That's all right.

Still love it.

But yeah, I would say that there have been quite a few

bummer.

non-starter not and barely ender end credits or post-credits scenes where you're just like why did i why did I stick around for this one?

Yeah.

And it's a while.

Those credits, you know, those movies, there are so many people now.

It's, it's a lot of minutes I feel like spent sitting there.

Yeah, you just have to sit through just a scroll of 700 Czech people who worked on one location shoot.

Yeah, totally.

Just Vladislav this and that for 20 minutes because they shot one scene in Czechoslovakia.

I was just going to say, like, if there's one thing that the end credit sequences do do is that they force you to sit around and take stock of how many talented craftspeople are working on these movies.

I think that that's kind of valuable.

You mean sit on your phone and

the scene starts?

I know that Jesse notoriously hates the Czech nation and all the people who live and work in entertainment there.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

That's what I say.

I watched,

speaking of bad jokes, I watched the new Naked Gun movie the other other day,

which it was a joy.

Oh, I really enjoyed it.

I'm so happy to hear that.

And

the new Naked Gun movie, I would encourage people to stay through the credits, but it's because they have just put a bunch of dumb jokes into the credits.

Oh, yeah.

And it's great because it's not like there's a joke every fourth credit.

It's like there's a joke every 20th credit.

And so they just put in just enough jokes to make you watch the credits.

Right.

But they're great.

They're all great jokes.

It's really funny.

And they go all the way through.

It's a delight.

Or bloopers, you know, John.

Oh, bloopers is a whole other story.

Yeah.

We recently watched the, I had never seen them before.

Somehow they got by me, but the Shanghai Noon and Shanghai Nights films with our daughter.

And I thought they were really fun and funny.

And they had bloopers.

Yeah.

Those movies.

own

those rule.

Sorry, people that like the Avengers and don't like Shanghai Noon,

but I love Shanghai Noon.

It was very funny, I thought.

And the bloopers, the bloopers of any movie involving Jackie.

I mean, first of all, I love bloopers in general.

If you have good bloopers, put them in there.

I'm going to love it.

Yeah, bloopers.

Burt Reynolds.

Yeah.

But

the bloopers of a Jackie Chan movie are often the best part of a movie.

And that's in the context of the fact that almost all Jackie Chan movies rule.

Yeah.

I'm with you.

Yeah.

More bloopers, please.

Fewer teasing of universe expansion.

Agreed.

I'm going to say, because I feel like,

you know, no one likes being teased.

And I don't know that all of these movies have delivered on their post-credit sequence.

So I approach them with a lot more skepticism.

And if I get to the end of the credits and it's a kind of a dud, it leaves me with a with a real ill will, I would say.

I would say there is a universal truth that no one likes being teased and everyone likes seeing someone catch it in the jewels,

which is why we should be pro-bloops

and anti-teases.

Yeah.

Okay, here's a case from Sarah in Baltimore, Maryland.

I love to cook.

I make dinner 99% of the time in our home.

My partner, Ben, never says anything about how delicious dinner is.

He does say thank you when served, but that's it.

He just eats his delicious meal with no acknowledgement of its tastiness.

I think if someone cooks for you, you should throw them a little, this is good.

The silence makes me feel like a maid.

And can you imagine a dinner party where no one compliments the food?

Even if everyone is fibbing.

I would like an order that Ben has to say, the food is good when I cook.

It is always good, so he wouldn't be lying sarah and ben in baltimore maryland charm city chuck you do most of the uh cooking in your household uh i i imagine for many many years i did but i i have to correct the record and can't let that stand because emily has really

learned and enjoys cooking now right and uh yeah but we both enjoy cooking it's a delight is there ever a situation in which emily or your daughter would scarf down food that you made for them and not acknowledge that you did a good job and it tastes good?

It seems very, very, very strange to me that somebody at all, but much less that you're in a relationship with, would not ever say anything about the quality of the cooking.

That's a very weird thing to do.

I mean, do you think that maybe Sarah's food is secretly terrible?

Well, that was my first question.

And Ben is one of those people who goes, I'm not a liar.

I will not, I will not tell a lie for social convenience.

Yeah.

Would you rather me be honest?

No, I trust Sarah.

I trust your food is good.

But, Jesse, have you ever, have you ever been to a situation where you have to lie, where you're over at someone's house and the food doesn't taste good?

I mean, the macaroni is soggy, the peers are mushed, and the chicken tastes like wood.

Have you ever been in one of those situations?

Well, first of all, I'm not invited to anyone's house ever.

Come on.

So it doesn't come up, really.

I would say

my general feeling about this is

I make almost all of the grown-up food in my house.

My children don't eat anything.

Right.

And so my wife is generally in charge of trying to intuit what fruit they're willing to put into their mouths on any given day.

But when I cook, and I often cook for my in-laws as well, because they're often at my house.

They're probably at my house half the time.

I really appreciate a thank you.

I wouldn't expect this food is delicious every time,

but I do appreciate a sincere this food is delicious

in

no small part because it helps me understand what food the people I'm cooking for actually enjoy.

Right.

Yeah.

And, you know, obviously the standard for candid feedback is different in a marriage or a cohabitating partnership or a love situation

than it is than, then, say, if you're invited over to

the boss's house for dinner or whatever.

That's not when you want to offer your negative feedback.

That'd be kind of fun, though.

You're at the boss's house.

Teresa's boss came over and I burnt the casserole.

Yeah.

But, you know, I think that, I think, you know, like Chuck, I presume that if Emily had some feedback that was like, that wasn't my favorite, you would be able to accept that.

No, yeah, yeah.

We'll both ask each other specifically, like, especially when we're trying new things, which we do a lot.

She likes to get out the cookbook and that kind of thing.

Ben, you're doing it wrong.

You gotta, you gotta give, you gotta give Sarah some feedback here.

Even if you're choking down food that you think is disgusting, you need to find a polite way to say this is not for me so that Sarah can adjust.

But my bet is that it is delicious, and you're just taking the food and Sarah for granted.

So don't do it.

Make it too.

Thank her twice.

Let's take a break.

When we come back, we will have some obscure cultural references for John and Chuck.

Now, that's the kind of tease I like.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So, how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined!

No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

We're taking a quick break from the case, but Chuck's still here with us.

Chuck, you're the host of Stuff You Should Know.

You guys got anything exciting coming up on the program?

Well, we're not doing live shows this year, but we are recording an episode on heavy metal tomorrow, which should be pretty fun.

I believe that's going to be a two-parter.

And what else?

We did one recently on the circular economy.

What does that mean?

The circular economy is what we should strive for.

The

linear economy is what we have now, which is

source a material, make a thing, sell that thing, throw that thing away.

And the circular economy would source sustainably, create things that can be repaired and fixed.

And if it can't be repaired or fixed, then those constituent parts can usually be recycled or reused in some way.

I thought the circular economy was hula, you know, for the kids.

You know, for kids.

Yeah, for kids.

Yeah, those are just a couple of recent ones.

Hey, folks, if you have not listened to stuff you should know, we've made a horrible error for several years now.

It's Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant talking about interesting topics, one topic each week, pulling it apart and telling you all kinds of things you didn't know about.

As Jassy Thorne has pointed out, it's the perfect title for a podcast because it is at the same time an invitation and a

rebuke.

Why don't you know this already?

Well, you better go listen and find out.

It's one of my favorite podcasts, and I listen to it all the time.

Thanks, man.

Like we like to say, we cover everything from heavy metal to the circular economy.

That's been the motto for almost a decade and it's never truer than this coming week.

I actually had a couple of heavy rock guests recently on Bullseye with Jesse Thorne, my NPR program.

The week that this episode is out, we will have just released an interview with two of the members of the band Fishbone.

I saw that picture.

Punk rock slash ska slash funk slash

occasionally a little metal, a broad variety.

Every kind of music is basically inside of Fishbone.

Man,

Chris and Angelo for Fishbone fans out there.

Just the most fascinating, amazing guys

and an incredible story of an incredible band.

Also, a few weeks ago, a favorite of many Max Fun fans, the band Pup, the punk rock band Pup were on on the program.

A lot of people, a lot of big PUP fans out there.

And

not to brag, but one of the PUP guys told me he's a big Max Fun guy.

Oh, cool.

There you go.

A couple of real rock and roll stars.

Plus, one that I really, really liked.

I just listened to it.

The final product that I really, really liked was a guy called Eugenio Derbez, who is...

He was essentially the biggest comedy star in, I was about to say Mexico, but probably all of Latin America.

Huge, huge TV star and occasionally movie star, not a lot of

local comedy movie production in Latin America, but both.

And in his 40s, he moved to the United States and decided to make a career in American show business and has done pretty incredibly well.

Like

he made a movie that was the

highest grossing Spanish language movie of all time

immediately upon moving to the United States and has been making a really charming show on Apple TV Plus called Acapulco.

But I talked to him about why he would decide to give up being the biggest movie star in

25% of the world in order to move to the United States.

And I talked to him about being a Mexican-American immigrant in the United States right now

and lots of fascinating things.

A very, very fascinating man and also far too handsome to be a comedian.

His mom apparently was like the biggest telenovela star of her era.

And I was like, oh, yeah, that's why you're so freaking handsome.

He told me that, he told me that the rumor was that she could cry out of one eye.

Daniel Spear knows exactly.

He's pointing to it.

She could cry out of either eye, depending on which side the camera was on.

Oh, wow.

That's incredible.

Well, of course, is available

wherever you get your podcast at maximumfund.org.

It's also carried by a number of NPR stations.

And, you know, you may have heard in the news that Congress has ceded its power of the purse in order to allow the current administration claw back

many, many millions of dollars from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

And that's been presented to you mostly in the context of the hit that will be taken by NPR and PBS and its local affiliates.

And all of that is really sort of shameful and troubling, in my humble opinion.

But one place where these cuts are also going to be profoundly disruptive are at radio stations like WERU.

Isn't that right, Joel?

Yes, the most community radio stations, especially in rural areas, because we don't, we've been supported for 35 years.

by the audience plus these grants, and it's had a devastating effect already.

So you told me the other day that you anticipate that you're going to lose a third of your budget due to these cuts yep that's right and so you're going to be facing some very hard decisions here at WERU in terms of staffing and yeah yeah yep got to look at the revenue got to look at the expenses and try and figure it out and even though you are solar powered this is not a lavish operation no no not at all no i mean

when i come in you have that big bucket of caviar but i'm paying for that that's coming out of my rider that's different Yeah.

No, it's not a good thing.

And it's really going to diminish a lot of good programming.

Our audience does our programming.

We have shows about infant care, doing business,

really good community stuff, fisheries, talk of the town.

Very

great shows, but it's not all Joe Bird and the field hippies.

This is a true community supported station, not just with donations, but with talent on the air.

Absolutely.

Free form DJing, which you almost never get to hear anywhere else these days.

And I don't mean to say that it's not special, but WERU is not alone among community radio stations that are going to be feeling this bite very, very strongly over the coming year and going forward.

So

I don't know what to say.

We're in this situation now.

It's never been a better time than to go to weru.org and listen to this station that's been such a great host to this podcast for years and years now, almost a decade yep and uh in the summertime i'm very very fond of my summer chambers and uh and joel mann and everyone here at weru so if you haven't had a chance to listen to this station it's great i mean it is a great station i have it on all the time at home weru.org you can listen to it wherever you like and obviously if you have the means um to add some support to the station they never they you know now is a they couldn't use it more than now i would really encourage people to take this opportunity to join their local local public radio stations, whether or not they're NPR stations.

I'll give a shout out to one of my favorite radio stations in the country, which is not an NPR station, KPOO in San Francisco.

KPOO is the only black-owned and operated radio station, public radio station west of the Rockies

and is the radio station that I grew up listening to for music.

Shout out to JJ on the radio.

But wherever you are, there's probably great community radio.

And if you live in a place

where that is relatively starved for media,

such as a rural place, for example, probably community radio is some of the only local media you have access to, certainly some of the only local broadcast media that you have access to.

So make sure that you're supporting that because this is, you know, for many years, public radio and television have emphasized their sources of revenue because,

you know, we don't want to be a political football, basically.

But the reality is that

while

many outlets will probably survive this,

they will survive it in a very compromised state because these are really serious hits to revenue, whether they're direct to

NPR and PBS or whether they're traveling to stations through the Corporation Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

These are

really big punches in the gut.

So please become a member of your local public radio stations.

Let's get back to the docket.

Welcome back to the Judge John Hodgman podcast with our guest, Chuck Bryant.

Are you guys ready for some trivia since you are already the self-proclaimed kings of trivia?

You've never proclaimed that.

Sorry, Ken.

Here's our first obscure obscure cultural reference from Ron Ruhl.

I have arms.

I am a bush with arms and legs.

I am the first bush in history with legs.

I can walk.

Oh, gaze ye unbelievers upon this miracle.

This walking bush, half man, half plant.

He dwells in two worlds, but he is the master of both.

Oh, man-bush, you are nature's greatest wonder.

That was a cold read.

I did not prep that.

Really?

Wow.

Wow.

That's a cold read, Chuck.

You should go to an artist.

SAG eligible.

I have no idea what this is.

I'll give you guys a hint.

If you don't know this one, you're definitely not Justin McElroy.

Is this a quote from a McElroy podcast?

No, it is not.

Is this a quote from a movie?

This is a quote from a movie of which Justin is a legendary fan.

Oh, wait a minute.

Well, no, that was Griffin.

Because I had Griffin on Movie Crush.

Oh, I think I had Justin on.

Is this from Paul Blart Malkop?

It's not from Paul Blart Malkop, but it's not that far from being from Paul Blart Malkop.

Everyone must make a guess.

Chuck, what's your guess?

I don't know.

Griffin was Groundhog Day.

I can't remember if I had Justin on because it would have been his pick.

So I'm going to say happy Gilmore.

That's from the Stupids from 1996.

Oh, the Stupids.

Starting.

Tom Arnold.

Can I just say, if you want to listen to an unbelievable human being talk, go back into the archives of Bullseye with Jesse Thorne and listen to my interview with Tom Arnold, because that man is unreal.

Good, bad, and everything in between, like just everything.

He's just everything.

He told this story about,

he just busted into this story about working at an abattoir

that involved this enormous hog and a man dying before his eyes.

And you're just like,

and that was, I think, before he even told me about how Andy Kaufman personally inspired him to go into comedy.

Wow.

Oh.

On the streets of Iowa, where Tom Arnold is from.

Yeah, you can really see the influence.

Yeah, that time Tom Arnold read the entirety of The Great Gatsby

alive to a college audience.

Tom Arnold is sincerely fascinating.

Very seriously, you should go listen to that because he is, i'm obsessed with tom arnold now okay here's one from new explanation 6764

podcasts don't change we simply become more comfortable with our core misery which in itself is a form of happiness are you performing it in the style of the filmed entertainment i'm performing it in the style of celebrated sag eligible voice actor jesse thorne available for casting contact Josh Lindgren at the Creative Artists Agency.

That one does sound very familiar.

The real quote is not podcasts don't change, it's lives don't change.

That's correct.

We simply become more comfortable with our core misery, which in itself is a form of happiness.

Joel, is that the charter for WERU, 89.9 FM in Orland, Maine?

The voice of many happy voices.

That's right.

The voice of many happy voices.

Right.

You recognize that from a movie or TV show?

No, not a clue.

All right.

Well, I guess the charter of WERU.

I'll give you a hint.

This one comes from the television program

that was created and showrun by a guest of Max FunCon,

who

kicked everyone's butt at softball.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

It's got to be bored to death.

Yeah.

It's from bored to death.

I was just going to get it.

Oh, wow.

Jonathan Ames.

Yeah.

Shout out to Secret Jock Jonathan ames yes once you dropped the softball reference i was like i remember that

when he showed off his guns it was like whoa yeah yeah he was he was a collegiate fencer an accomplished college i don't remember whether he fenced epe or saber or what but he was good at fencing and he was a ralph loren model Yep.

Many lives has lived Jonathan Ames.

Also a movie crush guest.

I don't know why I'm plugging a long dead show,

but he was one of the great guests.

Do you remember what movie he was into?

Bat City.

Fat City.

I don't even know what that movie is.

Is that a noir from the 50s?

I think it was about gambling.

It was like a 70s movie about gambling.

1972, John Houston, it says here.

Yeah, yeah.

That very Jonathan Amesy kind of pick, though, I know.

Starring Stacey Keats, Jeff Bridges, Susan Terrell, and Candy Clark in her film debut.

Yeah, that's right.

That was a good one.

Hey, Bored to Death.

That was a great experience.

Thank you for making me remember it.

New explanation, 6764.

I think you're terrific.

I'll make it too.

I think you're terrific.

All right, here's one from Baltinerdist.

Baltinerdist is a real regular on the Reddit.

There are places that contain you.

There are corners in your soul, plastic laminations in your life.

But when you're on the inside of the outside of your thoughts, do they restrain or do you stay yourself?

Now the inside of the near place is the outside of the far, but you can only face your space one way.

I think this is William Shatner

performing

the song Nightmare Train from the album The American Metaphysical Circus by Joe Bird and the Field Hippies.

Am I right?

Joel, am I right?

You're not.

You're not that far off.

This is some pretty metaphysical stuff, though.

Chuck, I'll give you the further quote.

You're really in the middle of the inside of yourself, and there is only one thing we can say.

You'll never get out.

You'll never get out.

You'll never get out of the cube.

Is it the movie The Cube?

Yeah, that's going to be my...

It is The Cube by Jim Henson from 1969.

Oh.

Whoa.

Different cube.

I know.

I was thinking of the kind of B-rated horror movie.

Yeah, I saw that.

The cube.

Sort of a Beatles parody, apparently.

Huh, okay.

It's some pretty obscure culture.

I must give Baltimore some

credit there.

Here's one from Proctople Plegia.

One of my New Year's resolutions is to say yes, yes to love.

Yes to life.

Yes to staying in more.

That's a pretty good joke.

It's a pretty good joke.

And I'll give you guys a hint.

It's from the source of all the best jokes.

Well, I mean, I know this is probably not right, but maybe it was just just your read once again jesse fantastic job thank you but it came it it it gave off vibes of uh of uh tina fey and in uh in 30 rock yeah and feels 30 rock is it really yeah wow hey that's all you buddy i know i wow i drafted off of you there chuck but you got that one so i would not have gotten there Can I just say, I've been watching 30 Rock with my daughter.

Oh, man.

The amount of funny that it is is unmatched in literally any other television program ever made,

including early seasons of The Simpsons, which are maybe a little bit better at having feelings in a funny way.

But

I will just be sitting there and I have to pause the show to text my wife

things from 30 Rock.

So I'm literally, I just opened my text messages.

Last night I texted her that Colleen, Elaine Stritch's character, Jack's mom on 30 Rock, she plays bingo at Our Lady of Reluctant Integration in Waltham Mass.

And then

this is just three text messages earlier.

Kenneth had had to go to take care of Tracy's wife, and he's standing on the kitchen island while Tracy's dog, Tracy Sr.,

barks and terrifies him.

And Tracy comes in and says, sorry, Ken, that's my dog, Tracy Sr.

I trained him to bite white people because not to profile, but most ghosts are white.

And then here goes another one.

This is literally like the last 10 text messages to my wife.

This is all I do is text her a thing I just saw in 30 Rock.

The other one is

Grizz and.com are trying to decide who is going to, I can't remember who's getting married, Grizz or.com.

These are Tracy Jordan's bodyguards.

And

they're trying to decide whether Tracy or the other one is going to be the best man at the wedding.

And one of them says to the other, man, we've been friends since we were kids

when we met at above the beanstalk, the summer camp for giants.

I remember that line.

Can I read you my favorite or one of my favorite 30 rock lines?

This was, I'm not going to do my Tracy Morgan, even though it's pretty great.

But

you don't have to thank me, Lemon.

We're a team now, like Batman and Robin, like chicken in a chicken container.

Well, we can't just read 30 rock quotes.

Yeah, I mean, I would like to.

Sounds like a podcast for me.

I would like to have a successful podcast, though, exactly.

Get on that best list.

Yeah, there you go.

I mean, Tina Faye's podcast, where she just reads 30 rock quotes, is probably in that top 100.

All right.

Here's one from Galoptius.

I'll tell you what I told Tony Bennett.

Sing songs people already know.

That way, they'll still have something to applaud.

Tell you what I is it a movie?

It's a film.

It's a film directed by one of the greatest comic minds of the 20th century.

All right, can you read it again?

Yeah, I'll read it again.

Do you want a different play?

Yeah,

I'll tell you what.

Hey, I'll tell you what I told Tony Bennett.

Sing songs people already know.

That way, they'll still have some to applaud.

The greatest comedic mind yeah that's a good hint of the 20th century

this is

this is a film this person is still alive all right but has only had the opportunity to make a a few a short list of films

and the failure of this film is one of the reasons that they didn't have an opportunity to make more i got it I got it.

Is it Bobcat Goldthwaite?

No?

It is not Bobcat Goldwait, who's made a lot of movies as director, and many of them are very good.

Yeah, all right, I don't know, Jesse.

Is the director Elaine May?

Yes,

is it from movie Ishtar?

It is wow, okay, it is good pull.

I can't believe I got one.

Nice.

That's from Jack Weston's character, Marty Freed.

Jack.

I thought that sounded like a Jack Weston line.

Here's one from Really Cool Guy.

I'll decide.

Hootie tootie, disco cutie.

Hootie tootie, disco cutie.

Hootie tootie,

disco cutie.

Hootie tootie, disco cutie.

Jennifer loves that grape.

The quote under Joel Mann's high school yearbook photo?

God, I can picture that now.

It's making me laugh even more.

You can see it on the page.

Joel,

you ever go disco dancing?

No.

When you were

no, okay.

Fair enough.

Not even when it was the thing to do?

No.

Okay.

Uh, I definitely don't know this.

Hoodie tootie disco cutie.

Rudy tootty freshen.

Rudy is

a staple at IHOP.

Right.

Disco cutie.

I mean, if it's some Saturday Night Fever, of course not.

No.

The unauthorized biography of Debbie Harry.

54, the movie about Studio 54 with Mike Myers.

Is it from a movie?

It's from a movie.

I've never heard of this movie.

All right.

Well, I'm stumped.

Joel, do you know it?

You still have to guess, John.

You know the rules.

The lyrics from Disco Duck.

Oh, Rick D's Disco Duck.

Yeah.

It's a great guess.

And I would just want to give a shout out to,

I used to go get papusas at a place called La Papusa Loca.

Yeah.

and uh it may even be el it might that might be one of those weird spanish words where it's an l even though it ends in an a right el papusa loca daniel spear you know the answer to that one uh

daniel doesn't know he's baffled we got to ask christian duenas he's salvadoran uh right across the street was this strip mall and you could see it out the window of la papusa loca and it had that kind of like stacked sign that a strip mall will have for all the different businesses.

And one of them, although sadly this business was long defunct, was a bar called Disco Duck Boogie and Cocktails.

I would go there.

I would totally.

I know.

That would be my regular, and I don't even drink.

You would have heard Joel Mann laugh at that, too, if I hadn't ordered him to turn his microphone off.

Sorry, Joel.

Our docket is clear.

That's it for another episode of Judge John Hodgman.

Judge John Hodgman, created by Jesse Thorne and John Hodgman.

Our social media manager is Dan Telfer.

Our podcast is edited by A.J.

McKeon.

Daniel Speer is our video producer.

Our show is produced by Jennifer Marmer.

Photos from the show are posted on our Instagram account at instagram.com slash judgejohnhodgman.

We're also on TikTok and YouTube at judgejohnhodgman pod.

Follow and subscribe to see our episodes and video-only content.

Thank you this week to our friend, Charles Chuck Bryant, host of the Stuff You Should Know podcast.

which you probably already know about because it's much more popular than our podcast.

Thanks, guys.

We've been friends and colleagues for a long time now.

It's kind of cool to think about and I always love coming on.

Very grateful to be friends with you, Chuck.

I look forward to sleeping in your pool house once again in the future.

Yes.

And here's what I have to say vis-a-vis what Jesse just said.

Make it two.

Make it two.

Double that.

Love it.

Love you, Chuck.

Hey, you know what?

I saw, I'm up here in Maine, Chuck.

I had to go to the drugstore to get to get some

anti-acid reflux medicine.

Okay.

Braggy, but okay.

The opening story of Vacation Land 2.

No,

I was just, I was looking, I was at the drugstore.

Vacation Land 2, Colin, the March to Death.

Yeah.

You know, look, I don't know when people are listening to this, but we're in the middle of the summer, right?

We're not even in August yet, are we, Joel?

Nope.

Right.

And Joel, you know what I saw above?

So I don't know if you know this, Chuck, but maybe it's true in Atlanta as well.

You go to the drugstore and they sell, they sell wine and liquor there.

And I only mentioned that because above the liquor shelves in the drugstore at the top of the hill in Blue Hill, you know what I saw lurking up there?

What?

This is in July.

Okay.

Skeletons and pumpkins.

Oh, yeah.

They're getting ready for Halloween already.

Yep.

Crazy.

They're trying to hide them up there, but I saw them.

Summer won't be here for long.

Some of our listeners are probably back in school already, or their kids are.

It may be be hot where you are, but it's time to start thinking about the chill autumnal air.

Cozy goths, this is your time.

Give us your cozy fall cases.

Do you like to light candles for ambiance, but you're married to someone who refuses to allow a lit candle in the home or simply hates ambiance?

Do you want to start putting out your gourd decor, but your roommate says it's too early?

Is your favorite fall tradition apple picking, and no one will go with you because you just end up with too many apples?

You always do.

Send us your cases at at maximumfund.org/slash jjho.

Send us your fall disputes there.

That's maximumfund.org/slash jjho or email me, hodgman at maximumfund.org.

And of course, we want to hear about all of your disputes on any subject.

No case is too big or too small.

So submit them, maximumfund.org/slash jjho.

We will talk to you next time on the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

Hooray!

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