Judge John Hodgman Presents: Jordan, Jesse, Go! "Potions & Lotions, with Jason Mantzoukas"

Hey, Judge John Hodgman listeners.

It's me, Bailiff Jesse Thorne.

And me, Judge John Hodgman.

Jesse, we've got some nice surprise for people, right?

Yeah,

we often mention that I host another comedy podcast called Jordan Jesse Go.

We've mentioned that many times on the show.

But we thought that we would share a favorite episode with you, the Judge John Hodgman listener.

Now, first of all, I want to tell you, there's probably swears in here.

I didn't listen back to it, but it's an episode of Jordan Jesse Go.

It probably has some swears.

Gonna have some PG-13 salty words in it.

That's how you can tell that it's a fun episode.

Yeah.

And this episode is particular fun, I happen to know.

Yeah, because it has our friend Jason Manzoukis as the guest.

Every week on Jordan Jesse Go, which is a sort of very freewheeling conversation by actual professional podcast hosts, not just random dudes.

It's not that freewheeling.

We are joined by a guest.

This episode has Jason Manzoukis.

It was just as it was announced that Jason Manzoukas would be joining Taskmaster, the British

and now on YouTube comedy game show, reality show, studio show, funny thing.

That seems about right, right?

That seems about right.

That's fun.

It's great.

I love watching it.

Anyway, it's a great episode with Jason Manzoukis.

If you like this episode of Jordan Jesse Go, make sure and run out and subscribe to to Jordan Jesse Goh.

But here is Jordan Jesse Goh episode number 894, Potions and Lotions with Jason Manzoukis.

By the way, John.

Yeah, what?

Remember the Judge John Hodgman rule, which is you don't have to go back and listen to the whole back catalog.

Just listen to the new episode.

It's fine.

If you want more episodes, you can go back and listen to the back catalog while you keep up to date with the new episodes.

You don't need to start in episode one.

That was 15 years ago, John.

Yeah.

Look, I just want to make people understand.

I was listening to Jordan Jesse Goh before Judge John Hodgman existed.

That's true.

Judge John Hodgman only exists because it started as a segment on Jordan Jesse Goh.

If you love two of the funniest people who happen to be very, very good friends talking to each other in the most delightful way with a hilarious guest every week, including the very most hilarious Jason Manzoukas, you're going to love this.

And I hope that you will go over and subscribe just like I do.

Let's get into Jordan Jesse Go with Jason Manzoukas.

Give a little time for the child within

It's Jordan Jesse Go.

I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, rising and grinding.

Oh, I know,

Jordan.

If I know one thing about you, it's of course that you have curly hair.

But if I know two things about you, it's the curly hair and your grind set.

That's right.

I have a grind set.

This is going to be my year.

This is going to be my year.

I've already, I've decided maybe a little bit late, but

whatever.

I'm making up for lost time.

I'm rising.

I'm grinding.

And it's all thanks to LinkedIn.

I mean, Jordan, every morning, I know you get up at four, and then you write something in a book and need a

morning pages.

And I watch a bootleg of MTV's The Grind.

That's right.

I'm masturbating to the same stuff I was when I was 12.

I've always said you were the downtown Julie Brown of podcasts.

That's right.

That's right.

And this is the proof.

No, you know, I think, I think, you know, again, I want to have a big year.

I want this to, you know, I want this to be the year of me.

So I'm on LinkedIn.

I'm checking stuff out.

Just like learning from various founders.

Just, you know, like founders, that's who I want to take advice for.

Founders are the real heroes.

Exactly.

What you got to do is build value and plan an exit strategy, baby.

So, yeah.

And also, you know.

Or just work with your friend from college for 25 years.

Sure.

Just do the same shit you were doing when you were 19.

Wait a minute.

25 years late.

Wait a minute.

We could exit this?

Steven, shut it down.

Jordan, you haven't heard the sweet release of death.

Wow.

Okay.

So, anyway, so I, you know, again, I'm on LinkedIn.

I'm out there just learning from founders, but there's also some good like aggregators if you don't like, if you just want to like cut through the mess.

You're talking about NPR Skyros?

No, I'm talking about a great subreddit called r/slash LinkedIn Lunatics.

Oh, great.

I broke this coaster.

That's okay.

Was this an expensive coaster?

Oh, very expensive.

Ah, fuck.

Anyways, extremely expensive.

I spent $68 on that.

Well, hey, listen, I'm going to be a billionaire by the end of the year, so put it on my tab.

Right.

LinkedIn Lunatics is a good subreddit where they catalog, and I mean, a lunatic sounds kind of derogatory.

I think these people are visionaries.

Right.

I mean,

isn't it great to be a little bit of both?

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Genius and madness.

They are twins in the crib, you see.

They are twins in the crib.

Oh,

what's that in the crib?

Twins?

Tis genius.

One tis genius, the other tis madness.

And they suck at the same teeth, you see.

Anyway.

Tar they?

Yes, tar.

T'was teat.

Whatever.

So on.

This is a podcast.

Yeah.

LinkedIn Lunatics, I saw this really inspirational post.

This is from Vitaly Dodinov.

He's the co-founder at Stan building a billion-dollar company rocket ship emoji.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So I imagine it's like blasting off to the stars.

So we

at Stan?

At Stan building a $1 billion company rocket ship emoji.

That's his.

Yeah.

That's his affiliation?

Sure.

I don't know really what all this stuff is.

Underneath there,

it just says write aid.

This is a day in the life running a $30 million ARR startup.

Do I know what that is?

No.

Do I think this guy is smart for doing this?

Yes.

Okay.

So this is his little like calendar, what he does in a day.

I get up at 5 a.m., not because I like it, because I need it.

Running a startup takes a lot out of you, and I treasure those quiet morning hours for myself.

5:15, breakfast.

I love breakfast.

6 Six o'clock.

Six o'clock lunch.

What can I say?

I'm a lunch freak.

Seven o'clock.

Second breakfast?

I'm a hobbit.

No,

six o'clock gym, seven o'clock office.

I'm often the first one there, but not always.

And those days make me proud.

Oh.

So yeah, he's encouraged his employees to show up before 7 a.m.

7 7 a.m.

to 8 a.m.

He's at the office.

7 a.m.

to 8 a.m.

Reading.

I read every morning religiously.

So he's just reading in the office.

Okay.

I was going to guess luxurious crank time.

No, reading.

Last year I read 52 books.

Proud of that one.

8 o'clock, LinkedIn.

No one can tell your story better than you.

I live an interesting life.

Sharing what I learn is my way of giving back.

So the guy sits on LinkedIn for an hour.

9 o'clock, deep focus time.

12 to 1, lunch with the team.

My company.

Deep focus time time is the luxury.

That's probably the crank stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

12 to 1, lunch with the team.

My company is built on relationships.

Laugh, eat, and spark joy.

Yeah.

Those are all arranged.

Sure.

1 to 5, meetings, internal, external.

5 o'clock, hard stop on meetings.

By then, I'm running on fumes.

My Slack is overflowing.

5 to 7, follow up on Slack.

Clear my inbox.

8 o'clock, home.

The last hour is for family.

Uninterrupted.

9 o'clock, bedtime.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Can I note a few conspicuous tips and tricks that I'm learning about startup culture?

Because obviously, I'm a failed entrepreneur, having converted my company to a worker-owned cooperative.

But I'm seeing a few strategies I could have pursued.

First of all,

I have never had that solid daily hour with my family.

That's what you need to do, Jesse.

Like, ultimately.

I mean, it's a sacrifice.

It's a sacrifice, but it's worth it to spend one hour with your family.

Now, another thing that I'm noticing here is that a lot of the hours of the day I spent working.

So I'm thinking, what if instead of working,

I read a book.

And then dicked around on LinkedIn

on LinkedIn.

Yes.

And then had a bunch of meetings and then went home.

Yeah.

And spent an hour with your family and then gone to sleep.

I was busy doing and making things.

Yes.

That's where you fucked up.

Sorry, that sounds a little harsh.

You fucked up.

I thought I lived an interesting life.

No.

But our friend Dimitri, what's his name?

I don't know.

Andre Rublev.

Yes.

Yes, let's say that.

That guy is a difficult thing.

That's why he can put the rocket ship emoji in his bio.

Yeah.

Because he's fucking shooting to the stars.

That's another mistake I made.

Yeah.

You put the wrong emoji in your bio.

You put Black Santa in there.

I put Juju Trey.

Whoa, yeah.

Hard to resist.

I make all the stops.

Hard to resist.

Yeah.

I also eat coal.

Do you want to ask our guest what his grind set is like?

This guy is incredible.

This guy is legendary for his grind set.

You know him from one of the world's most popular comedy podcasts.

How did this get made?

You know him from his many appearances in film and television.

You know him as one of the task maskies

of taskmaster Jason Manzukas.

Gentlemen, thank you.

What a delight.

What a delight.

You know, to be here,

here's, here's, this is how I want to be executing, right?

Grindset Mindset.

Here we are

8 p.m.

on a Sunday recording this podcast.

You know what other people are doing?

You know who rested today?

God.

Thank you.

You know who's not resting today?

These three bros who are here to do the Lord's work.

Thank you.

The podcast.

God's at home.

Stephen doing whatever the fuck it is he did.

Yeah, Steven pushing buttons.

God's at home watching 60 minutes.

Yep.

Stephen, the other day, Stephen said to me, he's like, oh, can I spend 90 minutes with my family?

And I was like, shut up and press the buttons.

Yeah.

Come on, Stephen.

He did.

He did it right now.

Yeah.

That's why you earned that rocket chip emoji emoji next to your name, but thank you.

Thank you.

Also, hey, Stephen, this is your family now.

Yeah, exactly.

That's what you got to start realizing.

And we all want a Christmas present.

You better get us a Christmas present.

You want to be part of big podcasts, Stephen?

Well, be glad you moved from a very popular podcast to this not that popular podcast.

Find your birth dad and shove him.

Find your birth dad and shove him down.

Two hands.

Wait, can Winnie V be my dad?

Not it.

I'll do it.

I'll do it.

Jason.

Gents.

I can't.

I fucking screamed when they announced you were going to be on Taskmaster.

Holy shit.

And I sat on that for a long time.

Yeah.

Very hard.

Very hard to not scream it from the rooftops.

I think, given our audience, we probably don't have to explain Taskmaster to many people.

Can I tell you something?

Yes.

All I've ever heard in my life from my colleagues at Maximum Fun is about Taskmaster.

Right.

I had a sort of reflexive resistance to it and have thus never seen it.

Yeah, it's one of those things.

I can see that.

You get the hard recommendations, and then you're, yeah, you put up the wall.

You're like, this cannot be as good as you say.

It's also, for a very long time, been one of those things that people would proselytize about, but was very hard to get.

And then it all became like a deluge put put on YouTube and then it became very accessible.

Yeah, but before that it was it was something that people would talk about a lot but that you had to kind of seek out if you were here.

Yeah, and definitely like, you know, there's a certain kind of like American like comedy fan who is like I watched the British office and I haven't watched, you know, like there's that kind of person who will recommend it.

I also, I'm going to be frank, anytime I'm watching a British comedy thing, and I do like to watch British comedy things, but anytime I'm watching a British comedy thing, I'm looking at it thinking, is that person a TERF?

Are they a TERF?

Is he a TERF?

Is she a TERF?

Yeah.

I would say no TERFs involved in TV.

You're mostly just TERF spotting

when you're watching British things.

Yeah, I don't think anybody, I don't think there's any TERFs in the cast of Tazmaster.

But it is, I will say, like, it was a show that was...

For panel shows, one of the totemic shows over there.

Like it is massive there.

And it's a thing that we just don't have here.

We don't have that kind of a panel show set up where it is a comedian's hangout show.

Right.

Where they, yes, there's some ostensible kind of game element.

They have to like make things out of ping pong balls or something.

Absolutely.

Sometimes there's making things out of ping pong balls.

Sometimes there's some version of what looks like a scavenger hunt.

Yeah.

Usually there's some version of you look foolish doing a pretend play or dress up character.

Eating a dough dot off a rope.

Yes.

All different manner of things that are meant to humiliate you, embarrass you, and otherwise make you fail at the task they've set forth.

They are endeavoring to make you look foolish and then pit you against each other in the studio.

Is the goal how much of the donut you can eat?

Yeah, but then, you know, your prize is delicious donut.

Oh, okay, great.

I, kind of similar to you, Jesse.

You can, you know, I had it recommended to me a lot and kind of like avoided it because of that.

And then, you know,

this year, rough start to the year.

This is your year, as you're saying.

Yeah, this is going to to be my year from here on out because of my new grind.

Here's the thing: what a bold thing to be like, what is absolutely, undeniably a year in which we are starting from a profound deficit.

Yes.

You are saying this will be my year.

I'm going to try and get family time down to 30 minutes.

I love this for you.

And then I'm just going to watch Family Guy.

Great.

And that's it.

I'm not going to talk to my mom.

Family guy time is going to be.

Family guy time, right?

Stewie, Brian, Lois.

But I got.

You've been focusing on your LinkedIn hours.

I'm all about Facebook this year.

Wow.

Okay.

Just pivoting back to Facebook, where the real minion is.

Oh,

I'm on Prodigy.

What?

I'm on Prodigy, and I'm just connecting with people over a dial-up.

Okay, what's your number?

I think Prodigy was just a long series of notes.

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was for sure that.

Yeah.

Oh,

this was the first time I feel like I knew someone who was online was Prodigy.

just think about uh the guy who invented aol yeah got rich because he looked at prodigy and he said what if we did that but instead of a 14 digit number we let people use letters and choose them outrageous yeah and we mailed everybody cd-roms

the mail is essential to what we do i'm gonna i'm uh check me out on the silk road everybody

i became so intensely into Taskmaster this year to the point where

I'm watching New Zealand.

I'm watching Australia.

Yes.

So I am that kind of.

Sam Campbell is like a true Jesus.

He's so funny.

True G.

He's so, so funny.

So I, you know, I'm at, I'm at peak Taskmaster right now.

And when they announced you were going to be on it, I flipped out.

Remember that scene and that thing you do where their radio, their song gets played on the radio for the first time?

That was me running around town.

Oh, yeah.

Gazooks is going to be on Taskmaster.

Oh, dude.

Thank you.

That's how I I felt.

That's how I, they kept catching me in like the Taskmaster house, taking selfies with things like on the walls or in the entryway.

And they would be like, wow, you really are a fan, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

And I was like, yes, I'm very excited to be here.

Did you, when you're playing those games, like, like, there's a, there's a game element to it, but it's bullshit, right?

Yes.

Like, the points are very arbitrarily told out.

Yes.

The point values are all decided months later in the studio by like an absolute fucking gigantic maniac.

Right.

You know, Greg Davis is just awarding points at his whim.

When you're playing the games, are you thinking, I want to win or are you trying to be as funny as possible?

I'm there.

I'm there because of the comedy show.

I'm not, but now I'm trying to do well because I'm also someone who loves puzzles, who loves games, who loves.

So I like all that element of it.

I'm not competitive necessarily, but when you're doing it, there aren't other people there doing it against you.

You're just against a clock or against yourself.

So yes, you're trying to do well, but you also know kind of like the baking show nailed it.

Oh, yeah.

It nailed it is to like a great British bake off or something.

Those people unnailed it are amateur bakers who are at a disadvantage to doing the job well, and their failure is the point of the show, you know.

And so Taskmaster has that element to it as well.

Like failure is guaranteed.

It's just how do you want to fail?

Sure.

It's in England.

What do you?

Oh, yes.

If you're listening to this, get ready.

These fuckers talk with those fucking Shakespeare accents.

Don't worry.

I told them, knock it off.

Do you like hanging in the UK?

Oh, it's fun as hell.

Wait, you're an England Taskmaster?

Yeah.

There is.

They had an American Taskmaster.

Jesse, they don't have an American Taskmaster.

They had for one season, right?

And

Reggie Watts hosted it.

An unsuccessful iteration of the show that changed, altered too many of the core components of the show and just kind of didn't work.

But yeah, you're like, are you the first American who's ever been doing this?

I'm the first American who's gone over to do the show.

There have been London,

London-based,

there have been at least a couple of London-based American comedians who've done it, but I think I'm the first person that's gone over to do it, something like that.

Did you meet Bob Mortimer?

Oh, boy, do I wish.

I would have killed to meet Bob Mortimer.

Bob Mortimer.

He's a superhero.

British comedian Bob Mortimer wrote a novel, and I got a pitch for it for Bullseye.

Right.

And I emailed our friend Sarah Morgan.

And I emailed Ben Partridge, a few England-y type people.

Stephen Partry.

Ben is Welsh.

Ben is Welsh.

And I said, What about this Bob Mortimer?

Is this somebody that I should?

And they were like, Yes.

And then I watched a bunch of a show where he and a friend go fishing.

And I was like, oh, I see.

This is the greatest man of all time.

is a, he's on a season of Taskmaster that is one of the best seasons of Taskmaster.

And he tells a story at one point about having a high anus that I cannot recommend.

That it's clipped.

You can just watch that clip.

It is so funny.

And he is so electrically funny.

He's also, there's a season of a show right now on Amazon Prime that's another British panel show.

This one hosted by Jimmy Carr, and it's called Last One Laughing, I believe.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Something like that.

If it's not that, it's very close.

And Bob Mortimer's on this first season of that and is being so fucking funny.

And the whole thing of it is to not laugh.

And everybody's just trying to make each other laugh.

Incredible stuff.

Jimmy Carr, by the way, as far as I know, not a turf, just a regular asshole.

Oh, boy.

I love you.

And you are checking a spreadsheet?

Yeah.

There's two, there's two, two columns.

Wild show, but Bob Mortimer, did you end up interviewing him?

I did.

And he

was a joy.

Oh, that's awesome.

He was an absolute joy.

Just

it is amazing to me that in England, there are these

there are these things

from

like a pre-modern era of entertainment that are just still hanging around.

Bob Mortimer was in a like a music call style double act in like the 90s.

Like that's how he became famous in England.

Yeah.

He has since become famous again for being amazing on panel shows.

Yes.

But he did not, like, when the double act ended, he didn't really have anything to do because the other guy in the double act was the famous one.

Like, the other guy had added him into the, into the, and made it a double act.

And then Bob Mortimer started going on like the one, Do I Tell a Lie or whatever?

Would I lie to you?

Would I lie to you?

And blowing people's minds.

You can watch like

collected clips of Bob Mortimer on that show that are nuts.

That is what I love YouTube for, is exposing, like, I feel like YouTube for Taskmaster is a great thing to recommend to people or Bob Mortimer to people because it's just, oh, here's 10 uninterrupted minutes of Sam Campbell being like an absurd genius, you know?

And that's a way to get people into the show because it can be very hard to explain some of these shows, even though they're dead simple premises.

They seem overly complicated when you try and

explain it.

But if you can just send someone like seven minutes of very funny stuff, it's great.

Did you get to do England stuff while you were there?

Did a lot of, I do, well, we, I was there.

One of the pieces that I was there for, it was when we did a How Did This Get Made UK tour,

which we had never done.

We'd never toured any place but, you know, North America, basically.

So, and that was Cleveland, right?

Just Cleveland and the Cleveland suburbs.

Cleveland and the Cleveland suburbs, you know, because we're at,

we're all East Coast.

You know, we came up on the East Coast.

We're all New York comedians.

We live in L.A.

now, but in our hearts, in our hearts, we're Cleveland.

We feel like, and the show is.

The show is undeniably Cleveland.

You know, Akron, absolutely.

You know, Guided by Voices is a big influence on us.

You know,

the Deal sisters,

you know, LeBron James.

LeBron James, of course.

Yep, yep.

Corey Snyder.

The Cleveland baseball team.

Okay, sure.

Yeah, the yes, the CBT, of course, the Cleveland baseball team.

I mean, and lest we forget, something else from Cleveland.

Oh, sure.

Yeah, something else.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Another thing.

A local museum.

That's right.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

There you go.

That's the one I was thinking.

Jan Wenner.

Are we just doing a pattern game?

Are we doing the opening of a Herald?

Yeah.

This is all the show is.

Nothing else happens.

I can't wait till second beats.

Jason, maybe you've never done real comedy, but that's what we do.

It's comedy without a net.

What you guys do is scares the hell out of me.

Yeah.

It's dangerous.

Why are you afraid to flip the table?

Oh, I wouldn't doubt it.

Well, I was told before we started that this is a new table.

So I'm assuming it was destroyed in a flipping incident.

I am aflayed to say R in the word aflayed.

Okay.

I feel like so much like improv and that like kind of like crowdwork stand-up.

It's like comedy without a net.

Can you imagine comedy with a net?

Like, that would be that's the side.

I want to see that show.

I feel like that show is net.

And how about also a trident?

Oh, yeah.

And then someone reminds me of comedy with swords.

It's Poseidon-based

comedy.

Yes.

Uh-huh.

And they released some lions at a certain point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I love that.

Yeah.

That's fun.

That's the, yeah, that's the story.

Okay, doing England things was the topic.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah.

No, we don't have to go backwards.

We can keep rocketing forward.

What kind of England things did you get up to?

You know, I didn't get, I'll be honest, I'm trying to think of what did we get up to England things.

We did those dates.

Doing the show was, as a 52-year-old man, running around doing nonsense physical tasks.

Like there's a task that I did that was

the entirety of the, they just are fucking with you.

The entirety of the task, you had to walk on your tiptoes,

which was funny for like a minute or two, but I had to do it for for a very long time and my legs for days after days afterwards were like we don't want to do anything anymore we're we're cooked we're fully donezo it's like when you go skiing like i've only been skiing maybe i may never have been skiing as an adult maybe i've been skiing once as an adult but i can't remember it but the thing that i remember about having gone skiing is that after you go skiing when you're skiing it seems like things are fine sure it could be challenging but it seems fine.

But you're holding it together.

Yeah.

And then like 30 hours later, 36 hours later, you just fall over in a pile and can't move for four days.

You're dead.

Yeah.

You're dead.

It's over.

And I bet it's one of those things that it's like, like you realize how painful it was an hour later or the next day.

Oh, yes.

Well, that's the injury now as an old person.

That is a just, you wait

30 minutes and it just is like, oh, you're done.

Sit down for good.

Yeah.

It's like, it's like later in the day, I'll be like, that garbage can was too heavy.

It was too heavy.

I shouldn't have taken it out.

I should have not paid, I threw my back out picking up my office chair.

I was like, this is not good.

This is embarrassing.

Yeah.

Office chairs are very heavy.

Too heavy.

If you get a quality office chair to take care of your back, yes, because your back is bad with lumbar support.

Thank you.

Yeah.

You're not going to be able to do that.

And

you're hurting your back, moving the chair that you got to heal your back.

This is why we need that.

Welcome back to middle-aged men.

Talk about their injuries, comics, and British panel shows.

Stay tuned.

We're going to be talking CPAP machines

and Doughboys episodes.

We're going to be remembering shit we heard on the Doughboys.

We're talking our favorite podcasts.

You're watching this.

By the way, I loved it at the beginning when you guys were doing the LinkedIn thing.

And I was like, this is why you have video.

So people can tune in for this very discussion.

Yes, exactly.

They want to see me read something off my phone.

This is amazing.

This is entertainment now.

This is what we just.

Yeah.

I actually, I take these clips.

I post them to Zillow.

Wow.

Smart.

Smart.

Upload them right to Zillow.

Yes.

This episode, 4,600 square feet of comedy.

Guys, our zestimates through the roof.

And I looked at my phone when I did that because for video.

Incredible.

Incredible object.

Where's my camera?

Where's my camera?

Where's my camera?

Video.

Yeah.

Well, let's take a quick break.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.

It's Jordan Jesse Go.

I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart, Jordan Morris, Boy Detective.

With gratitude, we note that every single episode of Jordan Jesse Go is made possible by the members of Maximum Fun.

Those members, if you are one of those members, we hope you are enjoying our brand new monthly Jordan Jesse Go podcast, which is called Podcast Movie, Movie Podcast, and sometimes we talk about TV shows.

There is another episode coming soon, already one in the feed.

We are also

this week supported by our friends at Aura Frames.

Jordan Mother's Day is right around the corner.

I know that Gail wants to get a call from you, but she might want a little something more than that.

Jesse, you know, Gail's getting a call from me, and I think I'm going to get her an aura frame to go with the one she already has and loves.

These things are great.

They're awesome gifts.

Mother's Day, Father's Day.

Anybody who needs a really cool gift, aura frames are awesome.

Yeah, I, whenever I take a really cute picture of my kids, I will not put pictures of my kids' faces on the internet, but when I take a really cute picture of my kids, I can,

I have an iPhone and in my like, once I take the photos in the Photos app, there's that little like arrow that says like send this somewhere like you would message it to someone or something.

Instead of messaging it around, I just send it directly to the aura frames at my in-laws house and my mother's house.

It is that easy.

I can just

shoot it out there.

I get a little checklist, which aura frames do you want to send it to?

I choose my aura frames.

I have more than one.

Then I choose the one at my mother-in-law's house.

I choose the one at my mom's house.

Beep, boop, boop, boop.

Everybody gets the cute pictures.

Sometimes I also do it with pictures of my dogs.

Yeah, no, it's really great.

So my, you know, my sister has two beautiful kids, two, two beautiful nephews.

And, you know, she's a great photographer and always,

you know, uploading great photos of them to the aura frame.

You know, you know, they're going to the beach, they're going to to the zoo, all these cute nephew pictures.

And then, you know, I also upload stuff for my mom, like when I beat a Donkey Kong country game.

What I do is I take a picture of the final screen that says, congratulations, Donkey Kong congratulating me for beating the game.

So it's like

these toddlers kill screens.

Yes.

That's it on my mom's Aura frame.

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We're also supported this week by our friends at Brooklyn Betting.

Jordan, sleep problems do not spare us just because we are successful podcasters.

No, listen, you would think, you would think that because we, you know, hit these mics every week and bring joy to dozens around the world, that, you know, the universe would grant us a peaceful night's sleep, a respite from

our difficult work that is constantly crushing our shoulders.

You would think an angel would visit from on high and say, Mr.

Morris, thank you for entertaining dozens, nay, a gross of listeners.

I'll give you the gift of a gentle sleep.

But no, we require sleep equipment.

Yes.

Quality sleep equipment.

So, you know, Jesse,

I listen, I've had trouble sleeping in the past.

I've had back pain issues.

It's tough to find a mattress that's perfect.

But, Jesse, I've been sleeping on a Brooklyn bedding mattress.

I've been sleeping like that angel we mentioned who nerdy visited us a night.

To me,

it is the same as that angel coming down and planting a sweet kiss on my forehead before I drift off into the world of slumber

for that.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you, Angel.

Close the window, Angel.

You're so beautiful, Angel.

Dump them out, sweet angel.

Please dump them out.

Anyway,

Brooklyn bedding mattresses are really terrific.

I am love and mine.

They got something for everybody, different firmness options, heights, dimensions, even non-traditional sizes to fit right into your lifestyle.

And here,

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Go to brooklynbetting.com.

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Brooklynbetting.com, promo code JJGo.

Jordan, you have a full slate of comic book activities upcoming, right?

Yes, Jesse, I do have a couple of cool comic book events coming out.

If you're in the Southern California area and you're listening to this the week it comes out, on May 2nd, I am going to be at the Lit Fest in the Dina.

This is Altadina's very, very cool books festival that almost did not happen this year, but

through sheer pluck and tenacity, those folks were able to pull it off and get the festival going this year.

This is going to be a very, very cool event.

May 2nd at the Pasadena Presbyterian Church.

I am going to be there with a bunch of cool folks talking comic books, including our bud Elliot Kalen.

Litfestinthedena.org is their website.

Find out about all the cool events, including coming to see me and Elliot.

We're going to be doing a talk and signing some books after.

And And

also, for those folks in Southern California, on May 3rd, I am going to be at a free comic book day party at Things from Another World at Universal City Walk, baby.

So grab a marg at Margaritaville and come on over to Things from Another World and get some Godzilla comics signed.

2 to 4 p.m.

Free Comic Book Day.

Hey, it's also my birthday.

And if the turnout is bad at this, I'm going to feel like absolute shit on my birthday.

So please come out to those events and get yourself some comic books.

And

hey, just a little tease, if you're out there, if you're a Canadian listener in the Toronto area, I might be heading up there soon for a comic book event.

So Canadians start getting excited.

Jordan, I have something coming up in San Francisco.

Oh my gosh, tell me more.

Well, it is only the most exciting fucking event of my entire career, which is

I get an email the other day from our friends at San Francisco Sketchfest.

Our friend Dave Owen of San Francisco Sketchfest emails.

Great guy.

Great guy.

Lovely guy.

He says, Jesse,

I think you're going to like this.

We're doing an event with Kruk and Kuipe, and we'd like you to moderate it.

Now, Jordan, I wouldn't expect you to know who Kruk and Kuipe are.

I don't know who they are.

This is Mike Kruko and Dwayne Kuyper.

They are the television broadcasters of the San Francisco Giants.

They have been for the last 25 years or so.

Actually, a little more than 25 years at this point.

These guys are fucking legends.

Guys are

fucking geniuses.

They're both going to be in the Hall of Fame one day.

Absolute inspirations to me and any right-thinking resident of the Bay Area.

On May 15th, I am going to be hosting an evening with Kruk and Kuipe in San Francisco, courtesy of SF Sketchfest.

Tickets available at sfsketchfest.com.

I am so fucking pumped about this.

And all I can say is: if you live in the Bay Area and you're not coming to this, grab some pine meat.

That's one of the things I say.

Grab some pine meat.

Meat?

Yeah, that's like an insult to somebody who's

like somebody you don't like.

Yeah, somebody you don't like, call them meat.

He's great.

Call him meat.

Just a rookie, you know, call him meat.

Apparently, Kruko, Kruko's, I read this article while I was prepping for this.

And

there was just all these quotes from Kruko's kids about how incredible he is and what a special human being and how much they've learned about how to live life through him.

One of his kids is in the Smewin Ballet, which is like one of his sons is in the Smewin Ballet, which is like one of the best alternative ballet companies in the world.

Anyway.

There's

all this stuff about how great Kruko is.

And then there's just this one part from one of his kids who just said, yeah, until I was like 10 years old, I didn't know my name wasn't meet.

That's a good one.

He just calls everybody.

That's a good one.

Anyway, you can get tickets at sfsketchfest.com.

It's May 15th in San Francisco.

It's going to be a really great time.

I'm really looking forward to it.

Say hi to my mom if you come.

We also have a bunch of new stuff in the Put This On Shop.

We just put up t-shirts, sunglasses, and pants are right around the corner.

So go to putthisonshop.com.

Check that out.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.

It's Jordan Jesse Go.

I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris Boy Detective.

Jason Manzuka is king of the beards.

Do you?

Wow.

It's a good beard.

It's a good beard.

I mean, in a room full of great beards, I'm still claiming it.

Yeah, it's fair.

It's true.

It's looking

around.

Absolutely true.

Imagining.

There's a beard on Steven's got a beard.

Yeah.

And everybody's beard looks great.

Oh, I'm no shade to anybody's beard.

Yeah.

I mean, it's no quits that we're all in a room and a podcast is happening.

Even if there was no equipment, I wasn't even four bearded men.

I was walking by this building and a guy said, hey, we need another guy to podcast with a beard.

Get in here.

You know, you guys want to rank albums later?

Jordan, talk about the dope points.

Jordan, I feel like you are

kind of being a beard essentialist here.

Just because you have a beard doesn't mean you have to podcast.

As long as you're home brewing, you can do anything

you want.

You're right.

Exactly.

Like, you can make anybody, anybody with a beard who knows their way around yeast, you know, they're going to be fine.

Even if they don't have a podcast, even if they're just vodkasting, which is video podcasting.

My still exploded.

Oh, God.

This beard is fake.

I thought you were making a hoppy IPA.

I was.

I made it too hoppy.

I flew too close to the sun.

Jordan, can I tell you something?

Yeah, my still exploded.

And I blame those revenuers.

Oh, boy.

Old bootlegger thorn.

G-Man, we're back again.

Do you have beard care?

It's a lovely beard.

Do you have oils?

Do you have creams?

You know, I have one beard oil that someone gave me as a gift that every once in a while I put in there, but otherwise, no, I don't.

I moisturize my face with a very normal face moisturizer that mostly just gets in my beard, and that's all it is.

I love to moisturize my face.

That's my new shit.

Oh, yeah.

A few years ago, I was like, uh-oh, I'm old.

Better have a skincare routine.

You got it?

I'm all about it.

I'm basically a rich Korean lady now, the extent to which I'm committed to a skincare routine.

Potions and lotions.

I saw your desk in there.

It's just littered with stuff.

Oh, my God.

And don't get me started on unguents.

Poultices?

You've got poultices and salves?

I have a linament up my ass right now.

You could put lotion on your face?

Dude, I've been using it to jack up.

Oh, man.

Oh, fuck.

Wait, then what's that in your beard?

Oh,

sorry, bros.

It's come.

Yeah.

Dough, boys.

That was like, that was like all movies from 2005 to 2009, right?

Oh, man.

What's that in your beard?

Oh, yeah.

You got come on yourself.

Yeah.

Really, there's something about Mary really just infected us.

Yeah, it sure did.

With the

oh, we can show this.

Oh, okay, God.

It opened the come door.

Yes, it opened the cum door, and everybody ran straight through.

And now all of our porn is incest.

Or someone's stuck in a dryer.

But that can be both, I guess.

It could be both.

You know what, Jordan?

I just want to take a moment to address that.

Sure, yeah.

I'm glad you brought that up.

If you.

Do you need some help out of that dryer?

Sometime.

I'm going to cost you.

Some time ago on the program,

the subject of pornography involving people stuck in dryers came up.

Yes.

And I claimed I had never seen or heard of that type of pornography.

Right.

I will say now for myself, I also have not.

Oh, you went with it.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, and you all day, every day, but I have also not heard of it.

But I'm not surprised that it is.

So now I'm the psycho-dryer guy?

No, not at all.

So I just want, I I want to.

I'm happy to be the Psycho Dryer guy.

I want to.

I need to think.

Wait, are you producing it?

Because you might be.

Yeah, I know.

Guys, listen, I bought a bunch of May tags from a guy.

I don't know what to do with them.

LinkedIn handle is Psycho Dryer guy.

I'm just trying to get this started so I can unload these May tags.

This is your plan for your big year?

Is the pioneer a new porn as Psycho Dryer guy getting

drying machine?

Dryer.

Okay, wow.

Uh-huh.

This is big.

Yeah, so I'm going to, you know, try and get a Downey sponsorship in there, get them in on it.

So, yeah, this is my plan: is I got all these dryers, and now I just come on my podcast to buzz market this hot new pornography category.

Wow.

Did you buy these dryers from a very bored repair man?

Yeah.

Okay, so on the program, I said I had never seen or heard of this type of pornography.

And a lot of folks in our listing audience called bullshit on that.

So I just want to say to them, fuck you, I had never heard or seen that type of pornography.

However, to come clean, I have since seen it.

I'm certain.

Now that I'm aware of it, I will see it.

You know, I will, I'm assuming, you know.

Sure.

But it's not, no, I've never, I, but I, I've got to.

Also,

why would everyone have seen it?

And your claim that you hadn't seen it seems pretty normal.

Uh-huh.

And also, Jesse, why are you tuning into what the fan base says you have or haven't done?

I just give them my email address for huge mistake, right?

Huge mistake.

Yeah.

Just to correct me on identity issues, just like to let me know who I am.

Like, I kind of need something to judge against.

Sure, sure, sure, yeah.

It's sort of like you can't tell where your hand is in space unless you're pushing on a wall.

You know what I mean?

Okay.

It's sort of like weighted ball training for baseball pitchers, only

in my case, I ask people to tell me who I am so that I'll know.

Constantly being defined by the audience.

Yeah.

And the part of the audience that feels like they need to be heard.

Yeah.

It's kind of like a dryer with a faulty door.

Oh, boy.

That would never happen with a Maytag, though.

No, it wouldn't.

Or do I want it to happen in my sales pitch?

I don't know.

I need to figure this shit out.

Yeah.

Put the pieces of salt.

I'm underwater on these dryers.

And

you're trying to promote a porn star named May Tag.

Jordan.

Jordan, it sounds like the problem here, if you're underwater on these dryers, it sounds like the problem is in the spin cycle on your washer.

Oh, boy.

I'm getting fucking roasted over here, and I love it.

Yeah, well, it appeals to your taste for dryers.

That's true.

That's true.

Roasted and toasted, am I right, Jordan?

Appears to us, huh?

Yes, clink.

Cleaning the lintel.

I feel like I'm really part of this.

Because it's filled with

a camera.

I think the lady was stuck in like a banister.

Oh, yeah.

There's a lot of things you can get stuck in in this category.

Yeah.

Oh, so that's the category is stuck in,

and the dryer is just one of the

dryers.

It's common.

Yeah, I think there's.

But it's not just like a lady holding a Mr.

Coffee.

Yeah, it's not just like household appliances.

It is stuck in.

Yeah.

Fill in the blank.

It's a mad lib.

And if you want to get a little whimsical, honey tree.

Yeah.

Honey tree.

Yeah, they call it.

Yeah, they call it Winnie the Poohing.

Got it.

Okay.

I did watch some really good porn with like a handheld stick blender, though.

Okay.

Brutal but exciting.

Yeah, like an immersion blender.

Yeah.

I'd rather not know where it's being immersed, but okay.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no.

You know,

if I'm having trouble sleeping, I just need to watch.

two minutes of a sous video and I'm done.

What's that bag feeling?

How is it rotating in the water?

Steven, can you do me a favor real quick?

Sure.

You got producer notes there, right?

Yep.

Just make sure that to mention that

we handled talking about Sous Veed.

Oh, yeah.

We did homebrewing Sous Veed in this podcast.

So we should be all set.

Sure.

Yeah.

I think you hit all the things.

Okay.

And I talked about that I'm a middle-aged man and that I have a back problem.

Back issue.

I mentioned that.

Yep.

Okay, cool.

Perfect.

Oh, we should make sure to mention, remember when MTP played videos.

Okay.

Yeah.

I just like to say that.

That's something something people should keep saying, and it's

we keep saying it.

Uh, videos on MTV, they used to have videos on MTV, videos on MTV, yeah, they used to have videos on MTV, music videos on MTV.

Now it's just that one guy and his friend, and they laugh.

Yeah, it's Rob Deere to claff it at stuff.

It's better now, it's objectively better.

Season 28?

Yeah,

uh-huh.

Yeah, our childhood was mostly about

being horny for the daughter of an elderly rock star.

Is that correct?

Yes.

Wait, who's that?

Liv Tyler?

Lift Tyler.

Oh, Liv Tyler.

Oh, okay.

The original video.

Vixen.

Sure, sure.

Sure, say.

Okay.

Yeah.

Because you'd be horny for her.

Her dad put her in the video so people

were off to his songs.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

And she was, I remember very vividly, one of the very first people when I came to L.A.

for a pilot season.

I still lived in New York, but I came for pilot season.

I saw her checking out at Whole Foods.

Wow.

And was like, holy shit.

Wow.

This is real.

Made it.

This is, they are just out here walking around.

The stars, they are goddamn just like us.

The only person I've ever seen checking out at Whole Foods is Ed Koch.

Hey, Mr.

Mayor.

Enjoy your falafel.

Honey, you won't believe who I saw checking out at the grocery store.

Mrs.

Matt.

Mrs.

Matt.

Then I had to stop by my analyst's office because I'm having a crisis.

That is the mark of a New York comedian.

Jokes about your analyst.

We've got it nailed.

Oh, I'm seeing Ed Koch at Zabars.

Zabars, that's a funny word.

What is it?

I don't know.

I don't know, but I'll take one with locks.

Okay.

If something momentous happens to you, give us a call at 206-984-4FUN.

Or how about this?

Take out your phone, open the little voice memo app, record it into your phone, and then email it to us at jjgo at maximum fun.org.

Oh, I've got a smartphone now.

Don't make fun of the audience.

Let's go to Zay Bars.

I'll have what she says.

Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guest.

This is Sam in Seattle calling in with some stuff I wanted to tell you about.

I was driving to work, listening.

Can you pause this for a second?

Is this a new segment on the show, George?

Stuff I want to tell you about?

You know what?

It is.

No, yes.

No, guys, I just want to caution you against this.

What's up?

Do not

elevate the audience.

Update us on your life?

I don't think so.

Folks, 206-984-41.

Just keep us posted.

Why don't you call anymore?

How's your Sunday going?

We know you're lonely.

We're here to listen.

Is college fun?

Are you making friends?

What classes are you taking?

I would love to know how many people in this audience are college kids.

And I want to know how old are you out there?

Yeah.

And what are you up to while you're listening to this show right now?

206-984-4-Fun.

Just keep on burning.

I'm just burning activity.

Give us a call.

Did you think that Severance season 2 stuck the landing?

We want to know.

Yeah.

Severance.

Did you think that Bosch Legacy season 3 stuck the landing?

I want to know.

Who has stuck the landing?

Did you think Nadia Komenich stuck the landing?

Give us a call.

We got her on a box of weedies, but was it worth it?

Okay, play the call, Steven.

Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guest.

This is Sam in Seattle, calling in with some stuff I wanted to tell you about.

I was driving to work, listening to the show, and I passed a cyber truck with the license plate that said Mega EV.

The driver was a real nerdy dude, just furiously shaving his face with an electric razor.

I don't know.

They really delighted me.

Anyway, love you guys.

Bye.

First of all, that's only one thing.

That's one thing.

That's one thing.

I agree.

It's only one thing.

It's not some stuff.

It's not some stuff.

And also, like, shame on you.

Shame on you.

Like, if you fall, you're getting our expectations up for multiple things, then only one thing and the one thing was like, I'm going to be honest, medium.

Yeah, that's generous.

I mean, listen,

I think this guy, who I think our listener was

teasing

by calling in, this fucking guy in the cyber truck.

That's a guy with a grind set.

I'm sorry.

Shaving in your cyber truck on your way to your office where you're a founder.

I have to say this.

I haven't always had a beard,

but I haven't ever used an electric razor.

I've only used a manual razor before.

And the appeal to me of an electric razor is making those kind of

faces while doing something else, right?

Like you're driving, you're on the bus, whatever.

Sure.

You know, you see a guy using it and he's making those shaving faces.

What's a classic piece of business for a character?

If a character needs some business in, you know, in a movie,

just have those guys shaving.

Move on.

I got to look at the camera.

Oh, there you go.

Gosh, you've got to watch our.

Here's the thing.

How come you don't act more?

I know.

How come you don't act more?

Off-start acting.

I mean, we just saw it.

I'm SAG eligible.

Yeah.

A lot of people, you know, a lot of folks heard me as Hall of Mirrors guy on Archer, and they said, Jesse, why don't you act more?

Are you SAG eligible?

The answer is yes, I am SAG eligible.

Great.

I get a letter every once in a while asking me for $3,000 to join SAG.

Oh, what a nice letter to get.

You'll join for the right role, right?

Absolutely.

I mean, Hall of Mirrors Guy might get a spin-off.

Or a live-action adaptation.

Oh, yeah.

Sure, sure.

That would be really good.

He probably needs to shave comically.

Yeah.

Based on what we just saw, I wouldn't be surprised if you're in a Gillette Super Bowl commercial next year.

Why don't I ask you a question?

Can I ask you a question, Jason?

Jesse, I would be thrilled if you did.

Why don't you get more happy?

Great question.

Great question.

I wish I had the answer for it.

Why are you only on 90 cartoons?

Can you not make it 91?

Because I refuse to shave.

Wow.

Yeah, this guy, that's also why he doesn't play for the New York Yankees.

Sure.

Yeah.

I just got to sign that last form, and I keep forgetting.

They are allowing beards and mustaches now, Jordan, as long as they're carefully trimmed.

Is that true?

Yeah.

Oh, that's funny.

Yeah, it's bullshit, though.

That's ridiculous.

I mean, do other sports have similar guidelines or no?

No, it was, as far as I know, it's only the New York.

It was only the New York Yankees.

Oh, it's just, oh, okay.

And it was about how classy the New York Yankees are, which is, of course, total bullshit.

That said,

I like the idea that they think they're so fucking classy that they can't have mustaches or whatever.

Like, I love that.

That's the thing about the Yankees is that they're just sitting there jacking off to the thought of clean-shaven baseball players.

Right.

Yeah, right.

It's the Yankees and teenagers who work at Disneyland.

No mustaches.

Exactly.

Oh, is that right, too?

I think so.

Yeah.

I think this is a very good thing.

I guess I could say

issues.

Isn't that why Mickey Mouse is always going.

Yeah.

It is.

He's always shaving, especially now that he's in the public domain.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

You got to shave if anyone can put you in a movie.

Have you thought about this?

Steamboat Willie gets stuck in that fucking thing he's turning.

Whoa.

Oh, yeah.

I bet it already exists.

Scott, I bet it's already up.

Yeah,

and yes, it is already up and has 50 times more viewers than this.

Can I ask you guys a question?

If you were going to plow one of the iconic Disney characters, oh, don't make me choose.

Okay.

Would it be Mickey or Goofy?

The other ones aren't iconic enough.

Sorry, Donald Duck.

Right.

Boy, yeah.

I mean,

I'll say,

you know, I love Goofy.

Is there a funnier cartoon character?

Maybe not.

But if you're going to town on Goofy, something's likely to go wrong.

That's a really funny thing.

Have you seen him learn to ski?

Yeah.

You would not get injured, you're saying.

You would get injured.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he would probably have to play that record that's explaining how to fuck while you're playing it.

Yeah.

That's tough.

Mickey is also prettier.

As I said it, it seemed almost like, as the words escaped my mouth, it seemed seemed like it was almost too obvious to say

because it seems to me like the answer is i now realize right you would plow mickey and be plowed by goofy

okay

and i just want to make sure stephen you're getting that for the podcast bingo we are a podcast of middle-aged men talking about which cartoon characters we would bang oh yeah i was on the another bed actually right sorry jason maybe you misheard uh we're talking about plowing them Plowing.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Did you guys do bang already in another episode?

We did.

Steve H.

was here last week and we did bang.

You did bang.

So now it's plow.

I get it.

I get it.

I get it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Keeping things fresh.

I think that's the only way to go, though.

You're right.

It's a threesome.

That's correct.

Everybody wins.

Yeah.

Stephen, we got one more call in there in the old call box.

Hi, Jordan.

Hi, Jesse.

Hi, guest.

This is Emily from Ann Arbor calling in for your very famous segment, Youngest Fan Ever.

I'm sitting here with my newborn who was born at the very end of Max Fun Drive and who we've been having challenges getting him to feed.

And today I tried feeding while listening to the latest episode of JJGo and he just housed his bottle.

So clearly you've got your new youngest fan who today is 10 days old.

Thanks.

We love you guys.

I got a...

I got a question here, Jordan.

And I mean,

I don't, I'm worried that I'm going to be doing too much good for the world if I say this.

Right, right, right.

Like, other people will be embarrassed.

Just do it, Jesse.

Please, we need you now more than ever in these times.

Jesse, please.

Jordan,

your mother, Gail, yes, is a lactation nurse.

She may be retired.

Retired.

Retired.

But I mean, I think she could get back into the game if she had one cool trick.

I bet she would have some quick

one final heist.

Gail's back in the game.

Gail, we need you back for one final case.

She plugs into the hospital PA.

She's like, I'm in.

Milks out.

And then she just hits play on an iPod

because it's Hudson Hawk.

A little less conversation, a little more action.

She's like, God damn it.

She presses a skip, and then it's Jordan Gussie.

Oh, right, right, right, yeah.

Okay.

So, what you're saying is that our podcast is the key to latching.

I'm saying,

Jason, oh, yeah.

I have an incredible latch.

I'm just saying.

Oh, yeah.

I love it.

My latch is breathtaking.

I wouldn't doubt it.

I wouldn't doubt it.

I love it.

And I'll say this, you know, just in terms of youngest fans.

Please.

I love that we're now having, because we've been doing How Did This Get Made for 16 years now.

I think this is our 16th year.

And we tour and stuff like that.

And we're having people come to the podcast that are families who listen together, that the kid is like 14 and that is now big.

The kid has been alive the entire within the lifespan of the podcast, and they're all there together like a family of fucking nerds.

And it's so cute, and I can't stand it.

And I love it.

I realized something the other day, which is in the very early days of Jordan Jesse Go,

we had a listener who was 10 years old and lived in Sweden.

Gross.

I know.

Years afterwards,

years afterwards, I get an email from a couple in Pasadena.

They're looking for a unicorn.

No.

Well, I'll do it.

Okay.

I get an email from a couple in Pasadena.

They say, you may remember years ago that you had a 10-year-old call in to Jordan Jesse Goh and say he was the youngest Jordan Jesse Goh listener.

He is our nephew.

Funny.

And when you are Swedish, when you are 16, I believe it was, maybe it was 17, you have to do a one-week internship and you go somewhere to do it.

And we are wondering if he came to stay with us, could he come do a week's internship with you?

And I said, sure.

And this was when the company was basically just me.

So I was like, just so you know, we'd just be coming over to my apartment.

Where in time in general are we?

Like, how long ago is this?

So that's the thing.

Yeah.

It just occurred to me that this fucking kid is probably like 30.

Yeah.

Isn't that crazy?

Yeah.

This guy is like, this guy's probably a mayor.

He's probably passed away.

Well, it's like, because I think about this all the time, because, well, not all the time, but like lately, I feel like we just did our tour.

We've been talking a lot about like how we are unable to really believe that how much of our lives or how much of our careers has been inside of podcasting and making this podcast and having such a big podcast and blah, blah, blah.

And when I think about it, listen, how few of the programming hours on MTV are videos.

It used to be all videos.

But when I think about it, because there were so many years before I started a podcast that I was listening to you guys' podcasts, that I was listening to the sound of Young America, that I was listening to podcasts before there were podcast apps, before there was an easy way to getting people's RSS feeds and plugging them into things.

And it was very difficult and it is mind-blowing.

You would have to get a cassette tape from a guy in a parking lot.

Yeah, yeah.

And more often than not, it was porn.

Sure.

You're like, ah.

And then every once in in a while, it'll be the Phil Hungry show.

And you're like, oh, fuck.

He's doing all the voices.

One time

I was talking to my analyst.

Of course.

And

she said, you know, Jesse, I was listening to a podcast the other day.

I said, oh, really?

And she said, yes.

And do you know Jason Manzukis?

And I was like, yes.

And she said.

He said something very complimentary about you, Jesse.

Your peers respect you.

Oh, that's so funny.

Isn't that nice?

Oh, that's a riot.

Oh, I wonder what it was.

Thank God.

That's how I found out who I am.

Oh, that's so funny.

Oh, that's great.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Like, I really, this is one of the, to me, very first,

for me, very first times I was aware of and was a fan of a podcast, not just a one-off, you know, NPR, you know, audio documentary like the Last Bowery, the, what was his name?

That made the Bowery Hotel, the Flop House, Last Flop House on the Bowery.

Anyway, that were one-offs.

Like you guys and the iFanboy guys, there were just shows

that were shows that I was like, oh, they're talking about comedy.

They're talking where you guys would also be talking about hip-hop.

You guys would be talking to and about things that I was like, this is interesting.

I want to hear this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And all these years later, you know, here we are, a little less popular than we were then.

But, you know, having opened no new frontiers.

And now it really is like we all have to figure out.

We now are going to be videoed while we do this.

That's

what straight.

You've been inside of this for a...

Jason, I'll say this.

Please.

So you and Paul and June, all of you obviously have to figure out what to do about being videoed.

I understand that that's your truth.

For us, I mean, Jordan, I don't want to speak out of school, but we can just sort of.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he's shaving.

See, he's for the folks.

For the folks who are just listening, he's camera ready.

He's fine.

This guy's going to make the transition perfectly.

Oh, wow.

Wow, wow, wow.

You were born.

I just got a text from Christopher Nolan.

Yeah.

They want you in the Odyssey.

They want me to be the Odyssey.

They want you in the Odyssey.

Because

when they finally get back, everybody shaves their beards.

And they were like, Matt Damon can't shave his beard.

So

they're replacing him completely.

So they're replacing Matt Damon with me?

With you.

To be

the main guy, Homer.

To be the Homer.

Yeah, to be Homer Odyssey, I think.

I think his name is Homer Odyssey.

Yeah.

How's your Boston accent?

We're going to do a story on an HO scale, they said.

Homer Odyssey scale, Jordan.

I don't think I get it.

Yeah.

What are you talking about?

It's the movie The Odyssey directed by Christopher Nolan and it's a type of train scale, I think.

Okay.

See, Jason, you went with that dryer thing despite not knowing what I was talking about.

Me, I'm just going like, I don't understand what you're talking about.

What do you you mean?

I'm going to need more definition.

But, Jordan, the joke was on you because I didn't understand what I was talking.

No, Jesse, the joke's on the audience.

I think it's just because the audience at home, you know, the joke is on you.

You know what?

The joke is ultimately on Stephen.

Why?

Because his paycheck bounced.

Oh, God.

This is the first I'm hearing about it.

I know.

Stephen, Stephen, of a generation that he's like, why am I being paid in checks?

What is this?

It's vintage.

It's just a printout of a music video.

I wrote a check recently and was like, wow, I do not know the last time I did this.

I still pay my bills with checks.

I like to do it.

It's fun for me.

Yeah.

Is it really?

Yeah, I like it.

I mentally keep track of it better.

When you physically go through, do the...

Yeah, and I, and as we've discussed on a previous episode, I love running an errand, like going down to the

post office.

I love errands too.

I like busy work.

You're an errand guy.

I like busy work and I like puttering.

Ooh, yeah.

Jesse and I are both big errand guys.

Yep.

Love it.

I love to do an guys.

I love accomplishable tasks.

Something incredible happened to me the other day.

Wow.

Okay.

So first of all.

Stephen, take your coat back off.

We're not wrapping up.

First of all, I took a painting.

Tell your dad you'll be home to shove him later.

I took a painting to the framer.

Whoa.

So that's a good errand.

We don't have to, no, we don't have to blow anybody up here on the show, but where do you?

Frame Monster Design Laboratory.

Got it.

LES.

So I'm talking to Mike.

Yep.

Mike from Frame Monster Design Laboratory.

I tell him,

do whatever you want.

Wow.

So that's the framework.

What are you getting framed?

A painting.

Okay.

Yeah, there's a painting.

There's a painting of

El Farolito, Taqueria by

where my siblings and my stepmother live in San Francisco in the Outer Mission.

So you told the fucking guy to just riff.

Yeah.

Wow.

By the way, shout out to that El Farolito soccer team in the fucking National Soccer Championship or whatever.

A kind listener made an El Farolito custom soccer jersey and sent it to me.

Okay.

Okay.

Anyway, that went really great.

You guys aren't going to believe this shit.

My vacuum cleaner wasn't working.

Okay.

So what did I do?

Hang on.

Is this a same-day errand?

Yeah.

Wow.

First of all,

I looked up the hours of my vacuum repair guy before I went over there.

Okay, so that was going to be one of my questions is, do you already have a vacuum repair guy?

Because the person that I brought my vacuum to was the vacuum repair guy that was connected to the Vista Theater in

Los Felos, Silverlake there.

And it is gone now.

Since the Vista remodel, that whole vacuum repair shop is gone.

That's why I always say, fuck Quentin Tarantino.

Oh,

that's why.

Because I've heard you say that so often.

And I was always like, no, it's about Jesse Hollywood.

I always say that.

No, a lot of people think I'm like into preserving Uma Thurman's health and dignity.

Sure.

But no, it's all about the vacuum.

It's just about

him in the theater there.

Him putting out of business vacuum repair people.

Anyway, no, I got a vacuum repair guy.

I went and

looked up his hours.

He's dead now.

Oh, no.

And he died.

Oh, and died unexpectedly.

Oh, that's heartbreaking.

But get a little of this.

I found a new vacuum repair place.

Drove right over.

This one's in Pasadena, California.

Boom.

Drove over there, walked in.

He said, I'm going to tell you right now, I don't work on those.

Oh, what?

What the fuck?

What is it?

What the fuck?

Look, it's a fucking Dyson, baby.

What else would it be?

Wow.

This guy wants me with a fucking Electrolux.

Like a check.

Get out of town.

What am I going to use?

A mealy?

Get out of town.

Zeukes, Top Errands.

What would you say?

Boy, I love.

So I love going to drop mail off, pick mail up.

That's a big one.

Oh, do you have a do you got a box?

I've got a mailbox.

I've got a mailbox because I've got a mailbox because mostly because I don't want stuff stolen off of the

steps.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's you know, that's annoying.

It's a problem.

Um, so

that's a big one because that is like, wow, what's going to be in the box?

What's in the box?

What's in the box?

It's always Gwyneth Paltrow's decapitated head.

My life is the end of seven.

Sure.

I love that, Aaron.

I keep my heads in a duffel bag.

Go ahead.

How many you got in the middle?

I love going.

This is for comics readers.

I love going and picking up my pull list, my comics from the comic shop.

Shout out to Secret Headquarters.

That's where my pull list is.

Shout out to Secret Headquarters.

And shout out, of course, to

Web

Spider Tales.

I think maybe you kind of can't, and maybe you can't get that anymore.

But hey, shout out to Godzilla vs.

LA, which you should be able to get at your local comic book show.

Oh,

yeah, nice.

Is that your recent book?

It is.

It's coming out.

It'll be out when this is out.

So grab it.

A big Godzilla event happening in the Marvel Universe.

That's exciting.

Yeah,

I read Hulk vs.

Godzilla.

Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

It's fun.

So, yeah, I like, those are, those are fun.

Yes, Godzilla gets gamma radiated in this thing.

And he turns into a Hulk Godzilla.

Hulk Godzilla.

A green Hulk Godzilla?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Does Godzilla say Godzilla Smash?

No.

He's used opportunity.

I know.

I think

rewrites?

He can only say Scriank.

Oh, okay.

I've actually worked.

Now that I've worked with the Godzilla people, I know some of the Godzilla rules.

I love that.

He can only say Scriank.

He cannot eat people.

He can only eat fish.

Right.

And he cannot.

He's pescatarian.

He's pescatarian.

Okay.

And he cannot.

Like quinoa, can he eat ancient grains?

If it's under fish.

If it's part of a fish dish.

So he can have like a

rice bowl.

He can have a paella.

Okay, oh, wow, wow, wow.

If he's vacationing in Spain, oh, wow.

And he could get to Spain so quick.

Oh, he could get to Spain quick.

Can he have a paella if he's just at a Spanish restaurant?

Or like at my, what if he's at my brother-in-law, Dan's wedding?

They have paella.

If it's fish-based, yeah.

Why didn't he invite Godzilla?

Well, he's Godzilla with somebody's plus one.

Oh.

Mothra.

Dan knows.

Dan went to college with Mothra.

They did invite Mothra.

And now

it's his Mothra-in-law.

Stephen, you can black it out.

The show's over.

All right, shutting it down.

Shutting it down.

If you like too many podcasts, you'll love Sound Teap with John Lick Roberts.

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on maximum fun.

Boop, boop.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So, how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no.

It's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

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And on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

It's Jordan Jesse Go.

I'm Jesse Thorne America's Radio Suite.

Jordan Morris, Boy Detective.

Jason Manzugas, Prince of Puzzles.

And I tell you what, this man at the vacuum store.

Yeah.

He says, yeah, you're going to need to take that to the service center.

It's in Santa Fe Springs.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm not going to fucking Santa Fe Springs.

I don't even know what that is.

To get rid of it?

Yeah, I'm just going to burn it.

I'm just going to torch my house

in the bottom.

Throw it like a javelin off the overpass.

Yeah, I got it insured.

Because I've got a broken Dyson as well.

I got a Dyson rider.

Yeah, if you were like, if you had a fix, I was going to get on board with it.

Oh, I was going to ask maybe if you would take a look at the bottom of the control of our Dysons to the Santa Fe Springs.

You guys could have a little burrows weekend at the Santa Fe Springs.

That's a special season of a podcast people would subscribe to on Patreon.

It's just us going to Santa Fe Springs and

getting our Dysons fixed.

That's a tough one.

And maybe learning a little something about yourselves along the way.

Yes.

Wait a minute.

How would I learn something about myself if the audience wasn't there to tell me who I am?

That's true.

Guys, this is going to be your sideways.

Oh, I can't wait.

I'm not fixing a fucking Dyson.

I don't know.

Trick and Merlot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it's,

boy, is Sideways a movie that young people even have an awareness of now?

Great question.

I mean, it was really, really popular amongst young people

when it came out.

It was always a youngster movie.

Yeah.

I do feel like it had like a...

It had an impact socially, you know, in a way that I don't feel like it has.

I feel like young people now are more into the descendants.

The Alexander Payne descendants or the Disney Channel descendants.

The Alexander Payne descendants.

Yes.

Oh, you're

Hermosa Beach's finest skate punk band.

Oh, a lot of great descendants out there.

Or all.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

Well, if Milo's going off to get his degree, then Ben Stevenson, of course,

starts all.

Yeah.

Anyway.

See, good podcast.

I couldn't remember the name of that one where

Germany.

Sorry, Bill Stevenson.

Don't yell at me.

No, no, you're going to get it.

What's the one where Paul Germany is like a private school teacher and it came about a year ago?

The holdovers.

I love that one as well.

That's a great movie.

I would have said the holdovers.

I knew when I said the descendants that it would cause the problem that it caused, which is the dissidents.

But I can't

think of a, I couldn't, also couldn't think of that one with Kristen Wig in it, what the name of that one was.

Down.

Downsizing?

Downsizing.

Yeah.

Holdovers, great crest puzzles.

Citizen Ruth.

You could have Citizen Ruth, but that's going the other way.

That's going the other direction.

Nebraska.

I think we've now named them all.

Nope.

Jack Nicholson, Kathy Bates.

About Schmidt.

That's it.

About Schmidt.

About Schmitz.

Now we did it.

What about him?

We got to watch to find out.

No, it turns out you've got to watch New Girl.

You've got to watch all of New Girl.

That's how you find out what is about.

Sure.

Great.

Well, we settled that, huh?

We found out what podcasts are, who we are.

We made some faces.

We talked about Taskmaster, all the good stuff.

what is like one Taskmaster secret that you're allowed to share?

Oh, wow.

What's it?

I don't know if I'm allowed to share.

I'm trying to think if there's any secrets.

There's got to be something you can say because otherwise our listeners will not be able to achieve or guess.

I see.

Well, here's what I'll say.

We shot.

I'm curious if you can spot any of the tasks that are

featured perhaps in any of the clips that maybe don't make their way into the show.

Oh, who knows?

Okay.

What was shot?

Who did what?

So you overshoot for a season.

Yes, you are always, there is always, like a lot of things, you're doing more than they need.

Right.

Because they don't know what they're going to need at the end of the day.

Yeah.

No, you don't have to explain that to me.

I was on Archer.

Oh, of course.

Well, we all know.

We all know a character that you mentioned earlier a number of times.

No need to say the name because everyone knows it.

You're talking about Hollow Mirrors.

That's the one that I knew.

Yeah, H-O-M-G.

Hom.

Yes, I'm a Hom guid.

So my question is, because I was thinking about that the other day, like, you must just be making so much money at conventions.

Oh, my God.

You just, like, must be just

set up and call it Hall of Mirrors guy.

That's like everybody's going to want that.

Can I tell you something?

You know about Gallagher and Gallagher, too?

Of course.

I had to get my brother Johnny to go to cons

in my instead

because people were fucking tearing me up.

John's bigger than me.

So if they fuck with him, he can take them out.

But he's signing things Hall of Mirrors Guy's guy.

Right.

Which is not cool for a lot of those people.

They're boned.

No, they know.

They know it's your brother that you sold the act to.

No, no, they

know that they are talking to the real Hall of Mirrors guy.

I hope so.

It wasn't a mistake for me to start saying they know.

Okay.

They know that John is the real Hall of Mirrors guy.

I see, I see, I see.

Okay.

So it all makes sense.

It does.

Now that you say it that way, it makes total sense.

If you think about it, it all makes a ton of sense, which is why

I

should be offered more acting roles.

And the way you're slowing down right now is as we rock, as we rock it towards the end of the show, you pacing it down is creating a real tension for the audience.

Hello, are you a producer on the Great North?

Oh, boy.

Oh, wow.

Are we starting a segment right now?

I should get

the Molino sisters here.

They're waiting just outside.

They usually are.

Yeah.

Jason, so American people can watch Taskmaster on YouTube.

Yes.

The episodes will start airing week to week, starting on YouTube, May 2nd.

And British people can watch it on the National Health.

Yes, yes.

You can go to any in England.

If you happen to be in England, you can go to any emergency room and Taskmaster will be playing on the TV there.

Unless you're transgender, in which case.

I'm so excited.

I can't wait for it.

Thank you for having me here to talk about it.

I'm like, so excited.

Jason Manzukas, of course.

If you want to hear him podcast, you can hear him podcast on the Smash Hit podcast.

How did this get made?

Jordan Jesse Goh is, of course, produced by Stephen Ray Morris, known for his luxurious beard, the best beard in the room.

Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design, courtesy of the Free Design, and Light in the Attic Records.

Hey, Jordan.

Hey.

Guess what?

I probably mentioned this during the break, but remember how we just went to Chicago the other day?

I do remember that.

We had a great time in Chicago.

A blast.

Sleeping Village in Chicago, rocking out with our friend Peter Sagal and our friend Sam Regal.

Had a great time.

Then there was a party afterwards.

Yeah.

Public Radio's number one 45-only soul, classic soul and funk DJ, Jesse Thorne DJ.

Oh, wow.

You can listen to the full set on Mix Cloud.

Hey,

pretend like you were there.

Go to Mix Cloud, search for Jesse Thorne.

You'll find it there.

You can listen to two and a half hours of Classic Soul 45s, courtesy of your old friend Jesse, absolutely for free.

Heck yeah.

I get nothing from it other than, of course, I'm offer-only on Classic Soul 45 DJ

opportunities.

I love that.

If you're one of the producers of the Great North, you need a Classic Soul 45 DJ, hit me up.

HMU.

We're on Instagram, Jordan Jesse GoPod, where you can watch me shaving my face with an electric razor if you're a casting director or a producer

of, you know, Parker Lewis Can't Lose.

That's the only, you did say earlier, that's the only show you will guest on.

You were only fielding offers from

Parker Lewis Can't Louise.

I just always wanted to meet Kubiak.

So cool.

Okay, anyway,

206-98441, JJGo at maximumfund.org.

Facebook.com/slash JordanJesseGo.

We are on blue sky at JordanJesseGo, and we will talk to you next time on Jordan JesseGo.

I'll hug you and kiss you and love you.

Love you, love you,

love you,

love you.

Hey, Judge John Hodgman, listeners, if you loved that episode of Jordan Jesse Go, don't forget to run out and subscribe.

And by run out, I mean pull your phone out of your pocket, I guess.

Basically, just pull your phone out of your pocket.

Open a new tab and subscribe right now.

You won't regret it.

It's one of my favorite podcasts, and we're really excited to share it with you.

Thanks for listening.

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