TEASER: Members Only Mailbag March 2025

It's the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorne.

With me is Judge John Hodgman.

Hey, if you're a member of Maximum Fun, first of all, thank you so much.

I'm very happy to deliver some good news.

The new episode of the Membo Mailbag is now in your bonus content feed.

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Get on it right now, please.

Maybe there's something I don't know.

Jennifer Marmer, are you a TP expert?

No, maybe there's something I don't know.

I was so curious as to why David wanted my thoughts,

but

happy to give them.

Let's hear him since that's what he wants.

Thoughts, happy to give them.

I don't have TP tips or tricks.

I'm not sure what David is looking for.

But I love that David asked for them.

You know,

David also says that he's not seeking judgment, but why write in and say this is incongruous and vexing.

I do think he wants judgment.

Yeah.

But I mean, look, let's,

I'm going to throw this out here and then Jennifer Marmor, you as the TP expert can tell me if I'm right or wrong.

Okay.

If you

use up the toilet paper on the roll,

you should put toilet paper, fresh toilet paper on the roll.

Right.

Yes or no?

Yes.

TP Master Marmor?

Yes.

Of course.

Yes.

Okay.

I think this, I don't think anyone is going.

Well, I don't know.

I don't know the thoughts of everyone in the world, but this feels like something that's tough to argue.

Yes, of course, the right thing to do is to replace it, but it doesn't change the fact that David's wife just isn't.

And

I don't know how you fix that.

How do you mend a broken heart?

It's like Ginny and Jonathan,

the dark sitter.

Yeah.

You know, you just have to have some communication.

You got to sit down together in a room, turn the lights off and get real.

Right.

And say, why aren't you doing this?

I would be very curious to know.

And this is a message to

David's wife, who is a whole human being in her own right,

but apparently has no name.

Nice job, David.

David's wife,

I pass judgment on you, David, for not mentioning your wife's name or even a fake name.

But David's wife, I pass judgment on you too, but I'm more curious.

I would like you

to write in.

And I hope you're a member.

And if you're not, you can become one at maximumfund.org slash join.

But

I'll give you a freebie to use the past phrase just to answer this question.

What's going on, David's wife?

What is the, I'm not asking to be judgmental.

I'm curious, like, is it like you just got to get out of there?

Like, you got to get out of the bathroom as quickly as possible?

Like, I know I really hate changing the toilet paper because the toilet paper roll is, you know, the spring-loaded classic toilet paper roll.

You know what I'm talking about, right?

Like not the, not the toilet paper roll, but the spin

with the toilet paper on the holder, right?

It's that spring-loaded axle and you got to push it in and it always goes

and I don't like the creakiness of it.

And when you push it in, it becomes potentially a little projectile.

And if you don't hold on to it, it'll go like boing and fling out of your hand.

Yeah.

And sometimes it'll break apart into two parts and a spring that goes rolling across.

The worst one.

Right.

I mean, I understand.

It's terrible.

Right.

You know what?

Yes.

This is why we wanted Jennifer Marmor's point of view because

no one knows better than Jennifer Marmor.

You know.

About TP torment.

Jennifer is constantly using the bathroom.

Yeah.

Now stop.

It's true.

It's true.

The membo mailbag.

It was really fun, right, John?

It's always a lot of fun.

It's always great to hang out with my friend Jesse and Jennifer without having to wear robes or bang a gavel and to get to know our listeners even better because these letters aren't disputes necessarily.

They're questions, they're comments, they're hypotheticals.

It's great.

It's just letters from their lives and perhaps letters from your lives.

If you want to send us a letter for the members-only mailbag, you got to be a member.

So please go to maximumfund.org slash join.

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