Statute of Imitations

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorne.

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We'll talk more about the Max Fund Drive later on in the program, but for now, suffice it to say, this week, Statute of Imitations, Gayla brings the case against her twin sister, Chesska.

Chesska's life ambition is to do a twin-based prank with Cheska.

She says they're missing out on an identical twin rite of passage.

But Cheska disagrees.

She's content with her twinness, and she thinks pranks are mean.

Who's right, who's wrong, only one can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference.

Finish potato salad hungry?

This, Poto?

Dear Cabengo, eat.

Hear more, Poto?

Yeah.

Bailiff Jesse Thorne, please swear the litigants in.

Chesska and Gaila, please rise and raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

So help you, God, or whatever.

I do, or whatever.

They finished their sentences.

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he is his own identical twin?

Yes.

Yeah.

In a sort of existential form that only an only child can understand.

I absolutely dress like myself every day.

Judge Hodgman, you may proceed.

Cheska and Giele, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment in one of your favors.

Can either of you name the piece of culture I referenced when I entered the courtroom?

Cheska,

let's start with you.

If you are indeed Cheska and you haven't switched places with your sister,

switched so that I could not know.

Yeah.

Switched places across the country.

After all, Chesska, you are in California.

Gala, you are in New York City.

Sorry, Chesska, I interrupted you.

What is your guess?

Yes.

My guess would be

a feed from a different planet where potatoes are...

currency and everyone's a twin.

From a different planet where potatoes is currency and everyone's a twin.

Do you have a less obvious guess?

Yeah, I have a prepared guess that, you know, could be, would be totally wrong.

Well, let's hear the prepared guess too.

I'll love to hear them.

Yeah, so my prepared guess is the play Manike Me by the ancient Roman playwright Plautus.

Well, that's an intriguing guess, and you're absolutely right.

No, I've...

I wish I could say that that was true.

Let's put it in the guest book anyway.

Gala, what's your guess?

So

I also don't know, so I'm going to use one of my prepared guesses.

Was that something to do with the Berners Street hoax of 1810 by any chance?

Well, I mean, obviously, I know all about the Berners Street hoax of 1810, but for the benefit of our listeners, could you explain what you're talking about?

It was a hoax.

wherein rich people in London with nothing to do bet each other this man bet another man that he could make one house the most talked about house in london okay week so he

sent out i don't know sort of like the equivalent of the time of like spam mail and invited like thousands of carpenters and salesmen and things like that to come to the house To make it the most interesting house.

The most talked about house.

The most talked about house.

And it worked.

And they watched from the other side, from the other side of the street, as this random people's house on Berner Street.

Because in the 19th century in London, there was

like a national pastime to see how many carpenters and salesmen you could fit in a house.

Yeah, just as a fun, just as fun, just for a laugh.

Like pole sitting in the 1920s, John.

It was a fad.

Yeah.

Carpenter stuffing.

Well, as delightful as all these guesses are, they are all of them wrong.

I wonder, without saying anything, if our special guests in the studio knew what I was referring to.

If yes, raise your hand.

If no, don't raise your hand.

Okay.

Well, we'll get to our special guests in a moment, but it looks like we have to hear this case.

The correct answer is a Time magazine article from Monday, December 10th, 1979.

It was a quote from a profile.

on the identical twins, Virginia and Grace Kennedy, who grew up in poverty in rural Georgia and were thought to be mentally disabled when they were born.

And therefore, they were not educated by their parents.

That was a call they made until later in their lives.

And during their early childhood, they developed what is called a cryptophasia or ideoglossia, twin talk, a language of their own.

They referred to themselves, each other, I should say, as Poto and Cabengo.

Those were their nicknames.

And there was a documentary, or they're given names within their idioglossic language.

And there was a documentary made about them in 1980 called Poto and Cabengo, and they were an object of much fascination.

Nowadays, it is not believed that twin languages are true languages,

but it is usually thought to be one twin adapting to another who might have a slower linguistic developmental pattern.

But the Poto and Cabengo

were a very, very famous case study of what is called ideoglossia or cryptophagia, which is to say language is created within a very, very small community, in this case, an identical community of two.

Don't know what's happened with them lately.

They are a year younger than me.

When they were 30 years old, they were working in, one was in job training and the other one was working in the fast food restaurant, I think still in Georgia.

If anyone knows out there what happened to them,

I would love to know, but I don't know the update.

I would have thought that this would have been required reading for all identical twins, but

I guess it's only weird, only children with a copy of the People's Almanac who read about Poto and Cabengo before.

So here we are to hear this case.

Who seeks justice in this courtroom from me?

I think it's me, yeah.

I think it's you, Gayla, correct?

For justice and pranks.

Justice and pranks?

Yes.

You would like to...

enlist your identical twin sister Chesska in pulling some classic identical twin pranks.

Is that right?

Yes, that's that is true.

Gayla, how would you define in general terms what a twin-based prank is?

Well, I think it's it's a prank that relies on the fact that two people look the same.

Yeah, usually what you do, yeah, okay, uh, involving, I would say, switching or sort of pretending to be one person, something like that.

Uh, and

you know, some something that surprises or tricks or delights.

This is usually to get adults together, like in the parent trap.

What was the plot of the parent trap?

Yeah, it's usually used to create romance between divorced parents.

That's what, right?

Trick for divorced parents to get back together, right?

Yes,

that's what they're most often used for.

Okay, I think I understand.

Other than Jose Canseiko and Ozzie Canseiko allegedly switching jerseys,

what are the classic twin pranks?

I think a lot of them do take place at like school.

Like,

oh, you're better at math, so let's switch or like let's fool our parents.

And you've never done this.

You've never, I mean, you're no longer in elementary school, I take it.

You're adults.

We miss the boat on those.

Do you have, what kind of jobs do you have?

I'm a video editor.

I'm a PhD student studying Roman archaeology.

So she's still in school, actually.

Oh, okay.

So do you have any video video editing exams coming up in your PhD program in archaeology?

If only, truly.

Gayla, what kind of twin-based pranks are you thinking about?

Do you have any inspirations?

Do you have any ideas?

Well, I've been fielding, you know, some suggestions from friends and from the people of Reddit.

Okay.

And

I don't want any of the pranks to be mean because then Cheska will say no.

And I know you don't like to make people do things they don't want to do.

So I have a lot of, most of my ideas sort of border on performance art or pranks.

I don't know.

I know you have a specific prank that you want to pitch to Chesska.

Yes.

But Chesska,

why do you want to deny your sister her dream?

Well, yeah, because I'm terrible, clearly.

No, but

I just don't want to do the twin-based pranks.

I actually have nothing against pranks generally.

I think some pranks can be fun, but I think the twin-based pranks are really childish and generally they can be kind of mean, like feels more like a trick than a prank.

I see.

And you, do you swear to God or whatever the two of you aren't pranking us right now?

I do.

Jessica, what was it like growing up with an identical twin?

It was great.

I love being a twin, and it was nice to have like a friend always,

but it also meant that a lot of the times we were kind of treated as one person almost.

And

even our parents would kind of dress us the same.

So

there's a lot of effort later on to show that we were different people.

Chesska, what was it like to grow up

with an identical sister in your home?

Yeah, I mean, mean, generally it was very fun and I love being a twin.

And as a kid, I thought it was great to have always have a best friend there.

But it also was kind of hard for us to differentiate ourselves.

People always wanted to kind of treat us as one person.

And our mom often dressed us the same and things like that.

So yeah.

Jessica, of course she did.

I mean, no, I don't blame her.

I don't blame her.

That was right of her.

This is why, I mean, you get identical twins.

Were you going to deny yourself the pleasure of dressing them exactly the same?

You sent in some photos that I, I must, I must say, you sent in some photos that are adorable.

Yes, they're very cute.

All these photos are available on our social medias, our Instagram at judgejohnhodgman, as well as on our show page at maximumfun.org.

Hey, when you're typing in maximumfun.org, why don't you go ahead and press the slash dot and the join after that and go there, become a member?

But while you're checking out these cute photos, there are these two photos of you dressed in identity.

They're children, dressed in identical sort of white dresses.

And then you're also dressed as what?

Flowers.

Flowers.

Homemade flower costumes.

And she would send you to school in these flower costumes?

Yes, every day.

Probably.

Wait, on non-costume days you went in flower costumes.

Okay.

As a San Franciscan, there's a soft spot in my heart for twins dressing identically because in San Francisco, maybe two of the 10 most legendary citizens of my lifetime were Marion and Vivian Brown, a retired couple or a retired pair of twins

who dressed very glamorously and identically every single day, walked the streets of San Francisco and became real folk heroes.

Why don't you want to do that, Jessica and Gaila?

That sounds like fun.

I want to do that.

Well,

that's not a prank, though.

That's not a prank.

I'm not opposed.

Yeah, exactly.

Dressing the same is not a prank.

Jump out at people or something.

See, that's pretty, pretty rudimentary prank.

Although, I have to say, one of the other 10 most famous San Francisco citizen folk heroes was just a guy who hid behind a bush and jumped out at tourists.

He was called Bushman.

The Zodiac killer.

Yeah, the Zodiac Killer.

Oh, well, now, wait a minute.

Before you jump in with those funny jokes, let me introduce.

We had to have some expert witnesses here because, Kayla, Cheska, I don't understand what you're talking about in your weird twin language.

As noted, I am an only child, and I dare say I will remain so at this point.

Probably.

But

so we thought that we would turn to some expert witnesses who do know what you're talking about.

I don't hear what they mumbled as I was saying.

I said, unwilling.

Or whatever you believe in, whatever you believe in.

Or whatever.

Willing.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, maybe I should shut up and let Jesse introduce our guests.

Our expert witnesses on this episode of Judge John Hodgman are comedians,

writers, television hosts, and two of the co-hosts of the podcast, Dumb People Town, as well as identical twins, Randy and Jason Sklar.

Jason and Randy, welcome.

to the program.

Do I salute you?

No.

Thank you for your service.

Thank you for your service.

Thank you very much.

Of course.

Thank you very much.

I know you're not, I'm not even going to answer a question, but let me just start by saying I love how thoughtfully these twin sisters have considered their condition of being twins.

They seem very thoughtful.

How do you mean?

So they're, you know, a lot of twins.

Are you not thoughtful?

Did you even know you, the U2 were twins?

Oh, no.

We are overly thoughtful, too thoughtful, too intensely

focused on how to live in the tiniest nuances of being twins.

not because I think twins tend to do one of two things.

They will either become polar opposites to individuate so deeply so that they are no longer not even acknowledging their twinness, trying to almost eliminate the twinness completely, or they will dress exactly alike and be alike like the twins that Jesse mentioned earlier in San Francisco all the way into old age because they see that as this like their actual identification is that we are this unit that looks that the God or whatever you believe in caused us to look exactly alike.

And this is the one trait.

Give the people what they want.

We're going to play out for the rest of time.

So, I do love that the two of you have thought about your twinness in a way that you understand.

That you, the most interesting thing about being a twin is that you grew up at the exact same time with the exact same parameters of your life, and it makes you close that you have these shared experiences.

And it seems like you understand that, both of you, on a deep level.

I, I'm, I'm sad you guys were dressed alike all the time as kids.

That's a parent mistake.

Let me ask you a question.

Did you guys have separate rooms growing up or did you live in the same room?

We had the same room most until we were like teen, like 12 or 13.

Yeah.

So sometimes economics won't allow a family to have two separate rooms for their twins, but we had separate rooms for our entire lives.

And I think in a weird way.

Well, well, well.

Yes.

I think in a weird way, it allowed us to have our own time, our own individual time, to be on our own and to sort of just, you know, when you have alone time, then you don't feel like you need to separate and be so separate.

You can kind of select and choose when you want to spend time together in your free time.

Well, what were you guys like as

kid identical twins?

Did you dance alike?

Did you dance to differentiate?

No.

And this is the subject of

a two-man show that we are eventually.

We'll get get to plugs later.

Just plug the hell out of it.

When we were six weeks old, ladies, and I include Jesse, you in that category.

I'll take you.

Thanks.

When we were six weeks old.

I'll allow it.

John, John, please say

it's all about all of us.

Six weeks old.

Our parents, like, we can't tell the two of us apart.

Objection, you're right.

Hold on.

Motion to strike.

It's already been said.

It's out there.

All right.

Okay.

We can't.

We couldn't tell.

If I look at pictures of the two of us at six weeks, I can't tell the two of us apart.

Neither of us can.

And our mom certainly couldn't.

Always dressed us differently, but then had to, she took us out of the house for the first time at six weeks old and dressed us in the same outfits for the first time because they were the nicest outfits she had because she was taking us out into the world for the first time.

The only way she could tell us apart was the color of diaper pin that we had.

Took us to the doctor.

The nurse weighed us and measured us.

put pampers on, which at the time pampers came out with a brand new, revolutionary new diaper with tape on fasteners.

They were the beats by Dre of baby ball movement undergarments.

And and she uh so that switched them up and then handed us back to our mom with the diaper pins in a baggie and there was a moment where our mom was like what did you do

who had which diaper pins and the nurse said i don't know and he said what do you mean you don't know you don't know who's which is who is who and the nurse said to our mom you don't know you're the mom how do you not know so our mom felt a lot of shame brought us home guest with our dad and then they just lived with it And we found out when we were 10.

Wow.

So for all you know, your whole life has been a twin

song.

A prank, a prank of somebody.

And we kept trying to find out throughout our lives until we were almost 50 years old.

We actually found an artifact that allowed, speaking of Roman artifacts, we found an artifact that allowed us to figure out exactly who we were.

And we did the one thing that anyone would do in that situation that you guys would have done.

And that's called This American Life and ask them if they wanted to go on a journey with us and find out if we are who we are.

Anybody would do that.

And they said yes.

And so we did.

And we found out who we were, only to realize that we already knew who we were because of the life and the choices that we had made on that time, which again, going to be a-way, yeah, okay.

I understand how this American life works.

Raw, you get it.

Anecdote reflection, anecdote, reflection, anecdote, reflection.

It's the journey, not the destination.

The real truth is the twins we met along the way.

But what I want to know is which one is really Randy and which one is really Jason.

We're not telling you.

You got to come see our worst shit.

We're going to have three-step

footprints in the sand.

That's when Jesus was carrying us.

Both of us.

He had it too.

I want to know which one of you is a ghost.

Yeah.

That's a great question.

I've been haunting it my own.

I love it.

So we never received the shit.

We never dressed.

Yeah, you got to go to the show.

It's called the born identity, B-O-R-N.

We took the punch.

We undid their pun.

And so we, so we always dressed separately and really made a conscious effort to not,

even though we looked alike.

And even when we were in preschool, we were in

like three years old, four years old, some kid or someone told us we should switch preschool classes,

twin prank that these two that you're talking about.

Switch, it'll be so funny.

Even them were like, that's kind of hacky.

Like I wouldn't do that.

It's been done.

It's been done.

So Jason didn't want to do it.

So my solution to that was to switch places with a friend of ours.

Switch shirts.

Switch shirts with a friend of ours, A.J.

Hiller.

So now he's just wearing another kid's shirt.

I already got that one.

Great.

Prank of our prank.

But people.

It's kind of like an anti-humor thing.

It's like a twist on the frame.

frame we're already doing alternative comedy i don't and i don't i just don't think that that's we couldn't switch on our parents like they do once we grew up they knew who we were and i just think that it feels like a lot of work for something that then puts you in an uncomfortable situation i i just feel like it's kind of hackneyed we can do better i like learning from this story about preschool something that I didn't know, which is Jason is the dignified one and Randy is the thirsty one.

I was ready to do anything, ready to try anything and do anything.

And that explains why Jason wears glasses and Randy has a mustache.

It explains why I look like a Jewish magnum PI.

Yes.

Menachem P.I., I'll take it.

So, Jason and Randy, after all of this elementary school differentiation and so on, you eventually decided to meld your professional careers and present yourselves as performers as twins.

What was that all about?

Yeah, I think that is also part of how we relate to being twins is that,

you know, we felt like different enough people, but also acknowledging that we are similar and we enjoy being together.

We enjoy performing together.

We certainly recognize that that is a unique, you know, thing within our world.

And to bring it back to our two litigants here, Jay, because you're now going off on a diatribe that means absolutely nothing.

Weird to attack me.

No, I'm going to bring it back to the case.

Sorry, I care about the show.

Can we object to?

I motion to strike Jason from this.

I'll allow it, Counselor, but tread carefully.

Thank you.

You know, when we're on stage, we don't talk about necessarily being twins, but you feel the connection between us on stage.

And it's I feel this connection between the two litigants who are an entire country apart from each other.

There is like love and this connection between the two of you.

You guys both look back on your childhood fondly, minus the flower costumes.

I just feel like you, there's something special about you two.

I like the way you view your twinship, and it's interesting.

And I think the idea to have the fun, to want to have fun with it, is I appreciate that.

I don't know if pranks are the way to go about doing it.

I don't know if that's going to fulfill you.

This is a great opportunity, Gala, for you to pitch your twin prank to two identical twin comedian, professional comedians

and get their feedback.

I mean, are you ready to do so?

I'm ready.

And Chessca, have you heard this idea already or no?

I don't think so.

She's been keeping it secret.

So, this is a worldwide debut.

I don't think this is a good prank.

Great way to start.

That's how they started every madman pitch.

Yeah, absolutely.

It's a terrible idea for Eastern Airlines, but go.

Not for honor members of the surrounding.

Yeah.

This is the wrong version of it, but don't listen to this right now, but.

Yeah.

But, but

I think any prank that was better, Chesska would absolutely refuse and say that I'm mean.

Okay.

So here is a very mild prank that I cannot imagine would hurt anyone.

Okay.

So Chesska and I go to a shop, like a clothing store, like a boutique or something.

Sure.

We also, I did steal this from Reddit because I couldn't think of any good pranks.

That's fine.

Sorry.

So you asked them for ideas and they suggested this one.

It caught your fancy.

And nobody's ever mean on Reddit, ever.

Exactly.

And we go to a clothing store.

We both pick up the same outfit.

One of us goes into a fitting room and puts the clothes on.

Another

says to the person who works there or just a random person in the store, hey, I am.

picking out an outfit for like an event or something and I really need someone's opinion.

Could you just like come and look

and tell me how the outfit looks?

Okay.

Walk over to the fitting room, go into the fitting room where the other twin is hiding.

Okay.

And then immediately, instantly, the other twin comes out in the outfit.

Quick change.

And the person's like, quick change.

Quick change.

A classic change.

A classic change.

How did that even happen?

Yeah.

Can I offer a punch up to this?

Because I think there's an even simpler version of this, which is you go into the store separately so that people don't notice that you're there together.

That's important, obviously.

You both grab the same outfit.

One of you goes into the changing room to change.

The one who has not changed and is holding the outfit goes to the person at the store and says, I need to decide whether this is a good outfit for my wedding or whatever it is.

And you walk to the fitting room, and then just the other one comes out and you say, What do you think?

Yeah.

Oh,

I don't need a quick change.

Or,

Or I might offer just, I mean, I know I'm not red at Gayla, but maybe

same deal.

But instead of walking into the changing room that your sister is already in,

you walk into a changing room at one end of the changing area.

That's it.

And she immediately walks out of the other end.

It's a transported man.

It's called the prestige.

Riding along.

Yeah, let's just do the prestige.

See, so like this, I don't see how this could hurt anyone.

It would be slightly confusing.

Before we get the Sclars reaction, Chesska, how does this make you feel?

I don't want to do that, to be honest.

I just don't think, I don't think the payoff is there of like, then someone is like, oh, there are two of you?

And then we leave.

Chesska, Gaila, we know, and it's well established at this point that you're, that you're identical twins, you're sisters, you're both adorable, your relationship is terrific.

But there are must be some things that differentiate you.

So let me ask you this question.

Chesska, has it always been the case that you're the no fun one?

I

actually,

at least in high school, was into doing pranks.

And I think I- Why does she deny me now?

You know, like I don't have anything against pranks.

And yeah, like I pulled off what I think was a good prank in high school.

And

though I'm the serious academic twin, so I guess I am more serious, I like fun.

Gaila,

would you agree that you're the more fun one then?

Yeah, I'm the fun twin.

Look, I know the scholars probably have an opinion upon this changing room prank, and we also know that Jessica did a prank, at least one prank in elementary school that she feels pretty good about.

I would love to hear more about them, but maybe this is a great time to hear more about the Max Fun Drive.

You're listening to Judge John Hodgman.

I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorne.

Of course, the Judge John Hodgman podcast, always brought to you by you, the members of maximumfun.org.

Thanks to everybody who's gone to maximumfun.org slash join.

And you can join them by going to maximumfun.org slash join.

The Judge John Hodgman podcast is also brought to you this week by Made In.

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Let them know Jesse and John sent you.

Let's return to the case, John.

Jason, Randy, you've heard Gala's pitch to Chesca.

You've heard that Chesska isn't into it.

What's your opinion of the dressing room switcheroo?

First of all, I loved your tweaks on it, both of you guys.

The far end dressing rooms.

I think it'd be funny for one came in.

There's one way of doing it that might not have you both in the store.

You come in, one comes in.

This is my tweak on it.

Can I try this on?

You know what you're going to try on.

You come out and you're like, I don't love it.

I really don't love it.

Not my style, but thank you so much.

You put it back, put it closed you leave the other one comes in tries it on i love it i'm getting it i love getting it this is so me so me if anything was ever made for me this is the most me i've ever seen i have to say that i have written jokes with the sclar brothers before on a television pilot which did not go and i have never met more compulsive puncher-uppers or taggers we have a show called tag it we do a show called tag it tag our friends jokes yeah where we sit and try and come up with tags so i i think that's really funny.

And then

at the end, the two of you, the two of you can come back in the store together.

You come in with two coffee cups.

It's like, I love that for you.

I love that for you.

And then you give the store clerk a cup of coffee that you bought for them and you say, thank you for participating in a lifelong dream of mine.

So that's not my pitch.

That was pitching at the

same time.

Randy, I'm going to agree with you on this one.

Not that one, but.

Yeah.

I think that's a good pitch on the

thing better.

Frank.

And I think it's, Chessca, I think it's not going to be as bad for you because I don't think it tricks people in a way that makes them feel really bad.

And we have a very, very high radar on that.

So, cause you don't want to make people feel bad.

I have an idea that is.

making people that you love feel bad in a way that is fun and funny the way you would roast your friends.

So my pitch to you is that you have a birthday celebration that you both are at, but it's only a celebration for one of you.

And anytime anybody tries to say happy birthday to the other one, you vehemently say absolutely not.

There is no, this is Chesska's birthday.

This is Chessca's birthday and we are celebrating her birthday and we are celebrating.

Yeah, but it's your birthday too.

And so you get a cake just for you and the other person is there.

It just the cake says happy birthday only Chessa.

And people are like, what is wrong?

What is the problem?

What is wrong?

And then,

and then you pull up a fake 23andMe thing that you did a DNA test for.

Here we go.

I actually was born a year earlier and they kept it a secret to a completely other family.

We're not actually siblings.

We're not even siblings.

I was born on a different day.

So for the entirety of our lives, you all have been celebrating me on a day so really our whole lives have been a prank right our entire and and this is the first real moment we've ever had with you this is it

and we call it like so much better 23

23 in you i want you guys to do this so badly

this would be so jessica you have to be feeling this yeah

way better yes so that at the end so then if you want to keep it going you say guys we're completely joking And you bring out a cake that says, happy birthday to only your sister.

And you bring out documents that say, I didn't do it.

She,

it's actually her birthday.

We pranked you again.

And you keep doing it.

So the reason why I like what Randy just said is, and I think the reason why Chesska's probably feeling a little bit of resistance to the classic twin is because those are hacky.

Everyone's, people have done that before.

They're not funny.

They're not original.

What Randy is bitching is like an absurd, much larger academic.

You can go deep into some weird stuff.

And I think that's so much funnier and more rewarding.

I mean, let's get some reactions from our other set of twins, Kayla, Jessica.

What do you think about that?

I like it.

Yeah.

I like it, but I still,

to me, I'm not sure if it scratches the itch, the switch itch.

Oh, the switch itch.

Yeah, I knew she was going to not, she was not going to be.

Like, I want to do that too.

Let's do that as well.

Right.

I'm trying to give you something that, but you can't spell switch without itch.

Let me just say that right now.

Yeah.

So there's no I and Switch.

Well, there is an I and Switch.

There's no we and Switch.

There's no we and Switch.

Jessica, did you have a reaction to the birthday party scheme?

The artist?

Yeah, that sounds okay.

I mean, that sounds good to me.

Like, I would rather do that.

But yeah, I don't think that Gayla would find that fulfilling to her

dream of what this would be, but, but that would be really fun for me, I think.

How often do you two even see one another or in the same place?

I mean, switcheroo or no, like to get together?

Is it is it common?

We see each other pretty often.

I would say like

four or five times a year.

I'm going on Friday to go hang out with her for two weeks.

So, this is the chance to do some switcheroos.

She'll describe it.

I mean, that's what I'm saying.

Switch itch.

Chesska, what was the prank that you pulled off?

You're a reformed prankist, so tell me about one that worked.

Yeah, so I actually think I did a few pranks in high school, but this is the one, this is the best one that I pulled off.

So I had, it was me and a friend.

It wasn't just me by myself, but Gayla was not involved.

But at in high school, there was a cafeteria that had like the usual drink machines that, you know, you would use and it had a button to press for the drinks.

And me and my friend printed out these like official-looking signs that said that all the drink machines were now voice operated.

Oh, I love this!

And phenomenal,

yeah.

And we hung them up, and then we waited around the lunchtime, and we were plants.

We were like sticking around, and people would start yelling, like iced tea.

And

every time someone was like, It wasn't working, we'd be like, Oh, no, it does work.

Just like say it a little louder.

Like, actually, it worked for me before.

This is Phil Hendry, 101.

And I know what jesse thorne was thinking you yelled iced tea and then rapper iced tea came out

what do y'all want

you're in a graduate program now you're not in elementary school anymore is is that why you've given up on i mean look this is what i don't understand jessica you have a history of pranks you you've pulled off at least one that we all agree is funny and and uh and and among us are two identical twin professional comedians they know your sister wants to do a prank you're saying no.

When did have you soured on pranks?

Why not?

I think it's really just that these are like twin-based pranks.

And I think that kind of prank is just like childish and like hard to pull off.

And if you do, like the payoff doesn't seem like enough to do the prank.

So you're saying you're not averse to doing a prank, even with your sister right now, but twin-based seems hacky.

And until it's comedically proven to you, you're not going to do it.

Yes, exactly.

Yes, we were saying, let's bump it up to something where Chesska feels good about it, but it still has to hit the itching threshold that Gala wants.

Gala, would it be enough for the two of you just to periodically each bring out a stick of double mint gum and chew it at the same time?

If we did it enough, sure.

Yeah.

And we had to chew it exactly like we could just walk around town chewing gum in exact unison.

Well, Randy and Jason, thank you so much for your expert input on this issue.

You guys have a bunch of road dates coming up.

As somebody who's seen you two perform stand-up comedy many times, I can't recommend it enough.

Where are you headed out on the road?

Beginning of April, we'll be in Denver at Comedy Works, the Landmark South Club, which is a beautiful theater-like club, April 3rd through the 5th.

Then we, on the 15th, are doing the lovely and refurbished Rialto Theater in

Raleigh, North Carolina.

It's just a cancer benefit.

That's a gorgeous place.

Beautiful.

Then the night there.

Nice.

Then the next night we'll be in New Orleans at Sports Drink, which is a beautiful, small little club.

And then that weekend we'll be at the Moon.

Two Tower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas.

Superscars.com for all the days because we do do that tagged show that we do where our friends do their sets of comedy and we're on stage writing pitches of jokes that we then pitch to them on next one's on the 23rd uh april 23rd at the comedy store so all that stuff there and if we and we are working up this two-man show yeah the born identity which was really fun to do in hopes that we do a run of it maybe out here in L.A.

and then take it to New York and hopefully take it to Broadway.

So be on the lookout for all that stuff.

And

what a treat and a joy.

And we hope to have you.

You both seem like lovely people.

Good luck with your twinness.

And I hope you guys get to figure out something that feels a healthy balance in the middle, but continue your great and healthy relationship with each other because it's just, it was a pleasure to get to know you.

And continue great work, John Hodgman.

We are such fans of yours.

We love you, buddy.

We're just big fans.

Randy, Jason, Sklar, I've been such a fan forever, and it's always great to see you.

Thank you so much for being here and sharing your insight.

Whichever one is Randy, whichever one is Jason, I like you the best.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

At this point, well, who cares?

No matter where you live, of course, you can enjoy Randy and Jason on the Dumb People Town podcast, where they talk about the world's most hapless criminals and miscreants.

Yes.

Dumb stories, sentence.

Criminal mischief is our middle name.

Randy, Jason, thanks for joining us.

Thank you.

Yeah, appearing soon on the Dumb People Down podcast.

Two twins that got arrested pretending to be each other in a store.

So, Kayla, I've just learned some very interesting information.

You've been a twin your whole life.

But not only that, that's not the information I learned, that I surmised.

But the switch itch it says here has really only taken hold of your imagination relatively recently.

Is that true?

That is true.

How come?

That is true.

Well,

I think when you're growing up as a twin, you're always lumped in together with your twin, and people mix you up, and it doesn't feel good.

So you try to be different

and you push back against

being identical.

And

then you grow up, and your sister moves across the country, and you miss her, and you want to just enjoy being a twin.

Like people,

you know, people don't even always realize that we're twins now.

When did, when did, uh, when did you move, Chesska?

When did you move across the country?

And abandon your sister?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I moved very selfishly about six years ago to do my PhD.

And again, it's in Roman archaeology.

Yes.

Who were the founders of Rome?

Well, one could argue Romulus and Remus

were twins.

Yeah.

Twins.

So not only did you abandon your twin, but you abandoned her for another pair of twins.

Basically, yeah.

Wow.

And so, what was the inciting incident, as they say in Screenwriting Gala?

They're like, I know how to reconnect with my sister, the prestige style.

Well, i think it was after after the pandemic was sort of

being less less awful um we got vaccinated and the first thing that my partner and i did after we got vaccinated and the time had elapsed whatever we went and visited chessca in san francisco and we had never visited her before because she started school during the pandemic we couldn't see her we were apart for a long time and you know i think at that point we're also jonesing for fun.

And so,

okay, I wouldn't suggest this now now that she's like a six-year PhD, very professional person.

But at the time, she had to return a book to her professor or pick up a book from her professor who studies

ancient comedy, which is like all twins.

And I was like, you know what?

She would love if we, when we drop off the book, let's all all hand her the book and then you jump out and we're like whoa we're twins and jessica refused you didn't want to trick your professor in your professional graduate program shockingly i didn't want to yeah trick my professor who i hadn't seen in person in like two years uh and the first time i see

the first time i see her i'm like surprised there are two of us and yeah no i'm on rate your professor right now.

And that professor has a lot of negative reviews for not liking twin pranks.

So

probably was wise.

You know, Chesska, we've made some fun about the idea of you being the no-fun one.

But in truth, like, how are you two different?

How would you describe your sister's unique qualities?

Yeah, I definitely say that Gayla is the more social one, the more extra extroverted one she's um not only that she's extroverted if sounds like yeah exactly so she tends to be the one who wants to yeah do these it's not that she wants to do things that uh i don't want to do if they're fun but she yeah goes out and wants to meet a lot of people and yeah like talk to strangers and stuff like that um and i'm a little bit more

she wants to deceive your professional colleagues except she wants to deceive my professional colleagues exactly exactly i mean I think she loves the idea that she could trick someone who knows just me

because if they don't know that we're twins, then that's like a bonus prank.

Gayla, we know that Chesska is not no fun.

We also know that she's done some pranks in the past.

What are the special qualities that are unique to your sister?

Yeah, she's definitely the more introverted twin.

She,

I think,

can be embarrassed more easily,

a little bit more shy, you know, doesn't rock the boat.

Um, but she's also, you know, obviously she's the smart twin.

She's getting her PhD.

She's maybe she's more thoughtful than me.

Maybe, maybe that's part of it.

But yeah, she's definitely more likely not to always put herself out there.

I think that's what I would like her to do with this twin prank.

Chesska, your sister said that she really started thinking about this

uh once she had the opportunity to go and see you for the first time after a number of years of obvious you know travel restrictions and lockdowns that she felt sad that her twin had moved across the country she felt less like a twin it also sounds like she would like you to get thrown out of your program yeah apparently move back at that point yeah exactly how does that make you feel yeah i mean obviously i'm sad that she feels that way.

I know that she liked she would like me to be closer to her.

Um,

but I think there are so many other ways that we can do twin things that aren't pranks, even though the Sclar brothers are down on uh dressing alike.

We could dress alike if that's like for a day something she wants to do to feel more like a twin.

How does that

sound as a compromise to you, Cale?

That's not enough.

Oh, okay,

I want the world.

I want the whole world.

I think it's also important to know that Chesska's the older sister and I'm the baby of six kids.

So I am a brat.

You are brat?

I am brat.

Wait, Chesska is older than you by how much?

20 minutes.

20 minutes, yeah.

Well, you can learn a lot in 20 minutes.

Yeah.

But the two of you are the youngest of six total siblings.

Who are your siblings?

Are any of them twins?

No, no other twins.

What if you were identical six tablets and the other ones just didn't want to have anything to do with you?

That'd be amazing.

No, we have, there are, we have two older sisters and two older brothers, and they're actually all quite a bit older than us.

Like the closest one to us is seven years older, and the farthest one is like 20 years older than us.

Oh, okay.

So

that's quite an age difference.

So really, it was just just the two of you growing up for most of your shared formative years, it sounds like.

Yeah.

Chesska, you heard the Sklar brothers' pitches and

punch-ups for Gayla's pitches.

All of them are unacceptable to you.

There's nothing in there.

I like the birthday idea.

I think that's kind of fun.

I would be willing to maybe do the birthday thing, but I don't think that Gayla thinks that that doesn't fulfill her desire.

You don't think that the birthday prank is enough.

I think

I like because it doesn't involve deceiving people into thinking that you're

the switch.

It's like, I think, you know, it could work.

It could work if it was a birthday party.

We invite people to our birthday party and we insist.

Like people are like, oh, happy birthday, Gayla.

And I'm like, no, it's Chesska.

And like, we just gaslight everyone at the party the entire night and try and say, they're like, no, I know that it's Gayla.

And I'm like, I know it's Jessica.

What are you talking about?

Chesska, I take it that that idea does not bring you any delight whatsoever.

No, I do not like that idea.

You don't want to spend your birthday lying to people's faces.

No, I don't want to, yeah, no, exactly.

I don't want to trick people and then the whole time I have to pretend to be her on my birthday.

How would you do it?

Do an imitation of Kayla?

I was like, oh, yeah, you know, be very like

more

that your posture immediately improved.

Your hands went up.

Obviously, Chesska doesn't want to do a prank with you, at least not a switching prank.

Have you considered just pulling a prank on her?

Oh,

I actually hadn't considered that, but now that's a good point.

Like, what if you replaced her mirror with a window

and then you did something super twisted?

Chesska, you would like, if I were to rule in your favor, you would like me obviously to rule no twin pranks, no switch itch scratched, Kayla.

But Kayla also has to stop being disappointed when you refuse to do them.

Yeah, exactly.

I don't want to be guilted for not wanting to do the twin pranks and be like, I'm so sad.

We have to do a twin prank because you live in California.

Kayla, if I were to rule in your favor, it says here, you'd like me to rule that Chesska do some pranks and help you think of them.

Not even that she does the prank, but she actually does them, does does the mental work to come up with the pranks.

I want to help like formulating, just like the Sklar brothers, like I want help punching them up and stuff.

I don't want to just be the only one coming up with these fun pranks.

But the prank must involve a switch.

I mean, something that really utilizes the fact that we're twins.

What would it mean?

What would it mean to you to finally do it?

How do you think you would feel?

What would it feel like?

I think

it would be like a healing of the inner child you know we we we missed out on this fun kid activity and

now i i don't know i think it would be fun i think it would be a good story to tell and i think it would be something you know that i did with my sister and when people ask us did you ever do a twin prank we'll finally be able to say yeah how often does that come up though You more often than you would think.

Like when people find out you're a twin, that's one of the first questions they ask.

Yeah.

Have you ever switched?

Have you ever pranked someone?

Chessca, do people ask you as well, or do they just send someone serious in their family?

No, they asked, they said, have you ever switched?

That's an honest, like typical question.

Chesska, before I retire to my chambers and consider my verdict, is there, do you think

that there is any version of the itch switch that would be comedically and artistically sound enough that you would ever agree to doing it.

It's really hard for me to imagine, especially after hearing professional comedians coming up with a version of it.

And I still don't think it's good enough.

Like I still just think that that's not really a good joke.

Right.

Jesse, are the sclars still there?

The scars have left.

Oh, maybe we could send them an email or something saying that Jessica doesn't find them to be funny.

No, I love the birthday party.

The birthday party.

Sorry,

the birthday party.

We sent them an email that said they're not funny, that you said that they're not funny.

Yeah.

Okay, fine.

Sorry to been sitting there.

You can't unsend emails.

No, hey, guess what, Jessica?

We're just joking you.

You're right.

Jokes are cruel.

I've heard everything I need to in order to inform my verdict.

I'll be back in a moment with my decision.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom.

Gayla, how are you feeling about your chances right now?

I thought I would be feeling better.

I still think it's it's going to go my way, but I'm worried

I'm not going to get to itch the switch itch.

Jessica, how about you?

I'm actually feeling pretty good.

I was afraid that

just the novelty of the twin prank would win everyone over, but it actually sounds like everyone acknowledges that the switching, at least, is not that funny.

It would seem like the fundamental bias of this court would be towards comedy, but fortunately or unfortunately, that's not the case.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, we'll see what Judge Hodgman has to say about all this.

But first, John, before we get to your verdict, let's check in about the Max Fun Drive.

You know, we've been doing my brother, my brother, me for 15 years.

And

maybe you stopped listening for a while.

Maybe you never listened.

And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years.

I know where this has ended up.

But no, no, you would be wrong.

We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works.

The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on my brother, my brother, and me.

We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening.

And if not, we just leave it out back and goes rotten.

So check it out on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So, let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So, how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Now, I'll rise as Judge John Hodgman re-enters the courtroom and presents his verdict.

So, a long time ago, I was flying across the country in an airplane and it was

a dark and stormy night.

Literally,

it was scary.

We were having a lot of turbulence.

There was lightning that I could see through

the window.

Not real close, but close enough that it made me nervous.

It felt like the beginning of a

Twilight Zone episode.

And then it very quickly became one because I decided to watch my seat back television.

And there was a history channel special on ancient Rome, if you can believe it,

Cheska.

It was specifically about the construction of the Colosseum.

And there was a parade of historians and archaeologists who were coming on to the program to lend their expertise.

And then there was RoboCop.

All of a sudden, I'm looking at the actor Peter Weller, who played RoboCop and Buckaroo Bonsai talking about the Colosseum.

There was no identifying, they didn't say Peter Weller.

They said nothing.

It was just him.

It was like I was supposed to understand why Peter Weller was talking about ancient Rome.

And I started to get confused.

I thought that maybe I had

was having a stroke,

or maybe we had gone through a rift

in the Langoliers.

Maybe the plane had flown through a rift in time and space, and I had entered an alternate dimension where Peter Weller didn't just play Buckaroo Bonsai, a surgeon, a rock star, and an adventurer, but Peter Weller actually was all of those things.

Because I already knew that Peter Weller was a jazz trumpeter on top of being an actor, and now he's an expert on Roman history.

Well, then after a while, they finally acknowledged that Peter Weller had gone to, I think, Ithaca College and taken a degree in ancient.

Roman history, and that was an extra thing that he was doing.

I was not in an alternate dimension.

I was in this one, but for a period of time, I felt very destabilized.

I felt very confused.

I felt, I dare say, that someone was playing a prank on me.

The universe, the multiverse, Peter Weller.

I don't know.

I don't like pranks, Gala.

Don't like them.

I mean, they're funny.

I've seen TV shows in hotel rooms just like everyone else.

featuring certain not so very practical jokers.

It's funny.

I get it.

It's funny.

Literally everyone else.

It's the only popular thing in the entire world of entertainment right now.

Yeah.

And especially 100% in hotel rooms.

One time I went in a hotel room and they didn't have that channel.

And I was like, what's going on?

This is a prank.

Because pranks make people feel destabilized, disoriented, confused.

And the truth is, it is funny, but it's funniest when you are an adolescent and you don't really believe in the humanity of other people.

And

adolescents do horrible things to each other because of that misperception.

And the prank is probably mostly, most of the time, the most harmless version of it, especially if you find a prank, the rare prank where the person who's being pranked can actually laugh at themselves.

But it is rare.

Like, as you pointed out, Jessica, the cafeteria workers didn't need to hear that yelling.

It goes against a lot of the precepts of the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

It's not fun.

If it's not fun for everyone, it's no fun at all.

Be mindful of the work you leave for others.

Pranks violate these things.

And it really goes down to

one of the most important weird dad cases.

Don't say I'll have the kung pao chicken to someone who's operating a toll booth.

It's a kind of a prank.

Particularly, people.

Pranks are so often done on people who are in service work because they're available to you to torture, apparently.

And there is a power dynamic that allows you to play with their minds and they kind of have to grin and bear it rather than what most people would do, which is like walk away and I don't have time for this.

I think that the prank that you suggested is pretty low-key in the traditional pre-Gen Z version of low-key.

Like, it's not that big a deal.

I think that the person working at the clothing store, Gala, would be a little confused.

Maybe it would be even delighted.

But, you know, it's fun to be tricked when you go to a magic show because you know that you're being tricked.

That's the prestige.

When someone pulls a prank in front of you and you're not in on the joke, then you're out of the joke, then you are the joke.

And I just can't, in good conscience.

Even though I appreciate and very, very, very much sympathize with the emotional crux behind this, you miss your twin sister.

You feel less like a twin now that she has abandoned you for ancient Rome and Berkeley, California to boot.

And this is a kind of twin rite of passage that you never got to see or experience.

But I mean, the Sclars never did the switch itch.

And look how they turned out.

Maybe this isn't the best argument.

Look, I mean, they love each other so much and they love you both so much and and they have so much insight into this experience.

And I ultimately feel that

while the joke is good,

it still remains elusive to find the twin switch joke that to me at least, never mind Chessca, would be so compellingly hilarious and interesting that it would become essential rather than simply a better idea to think of it than laugh about it with your twin than actually do it.

As far as the birthday party idea, that is a long-form

performance art project, which you can do or not do, but at the end of the day, it's not going to scratch the switch itch.

And Gala, I think, like a lot of things, like twindom

doesn't last in the same

way once you reach adulthood and you individuate for real.

Not talking about wearing different clothes, but you've moved on into separate lives.

And that's a hard transition, one that I am grateful that I never had to go through being an only child, not only for the emotional impact of it, but also for the fact that I don't like sharing things to begin with.

And yet that is what growing up is.

It is transition.

And there are opportunities, and I hate to put it this way, but, you know,

there are times when you wake up as an adult and you're like, oh, I'm never going to be an opera singer.

That is just the trajectory of growing up, whether you have a full sibling, a half sibling, a step sibling, or no sibling at all, you know.

And I think that it's the case that

that will be an there are many itches that don't get scratched in life.

And I don't think that there's a way to do it without violating your sister's feelings or violating the, the, you know, making someone else feel bad.

I have to encourage you to live, let that itch just be an itch forever.

That said, I do feel

sad.

And I think that Jessica does too, that you're missing your twinness.

And I'm glad that you have plans to join her in Rome.

And I am ordering you both to dress alike the entire time that you're in Rome.

The entire time.

The entire time that you're both together in Rome.

Oh, okay.

That's perfect.

Now, how you decide to do this,

first of all, good news, Kayla, you get to go to a clothing store.

That was always part one of your scheme.

You can pick out the clothes you want to wear together.

You can decide.

Some of them, it could just be just regular casual clothes.

Maybe someday you want to dress up like the twins from the shining and walk around Rome.

I don't know how far you want to push it.

You're going to have to get 100% on every outfit.

But I'm talking, you're going to go for a week, right?

Was that what you said?

I mean, yeah, probably something like that.

Yeah, five days, five outfits, five to seven.

That's where I would top it off.

Maybe you need two outfits because, you know, in Italy, they dress up for dinner.

You know what I mean?

Like, so.

And then you just spend time together wearing the same thing.

I can't imagine a better place to truly become cinematic twins than wandering around Europe together.

This is the sound of a gavel.

With the twins.

Judge John Hodgman rules, that is all.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom.

Gayla, how are you feeling?

Yeah, so I am.

I am obviously a little disappointed.

The itch will go, the switch itch will go unscratched, but I'm very excited to

wear matching outfits around Rome.

And definitely, someone should make a movie of that.

So, producers,

filmmakers, Romans, countrymen,

let me know.

Lend us your money.

Jessica, how are you feeling?

I'm feeling pretty good.

Yeah, I'm glad that I don't have to do the Switch that I don't want to do.

I am a little bit overwhelmed by the idea of

the many days of wearing the same outfit, but that's going to make it a lot of fun.

One day to fly in, one day to fly out, five days, three outfits rotating.

You can do laundry in a room.

You know, it's okay.

But yeah,

I'm glad that it will make Gayla happy and fulfill some of her twin dreams.

Do they even have double income in Italy?

Oh, we got to find out.

Well, Gayla Cheska, thank you so much for joining us on the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

Thank you.

Thank you for having us.

Another Judge John Hodgman case is in the books, and there will be many more Judge John Hodgman cases to come.

Thanks to the support of folks who go to maximumfund.org slash join and become members of Maximum Fun.

If you become a member, you don't just get the satisfaction of knowing that you're the reason that there are more Judge John Hodgmans in your future.

You also get access to our bonus content and lots of awesome gifts.

Absolutely.

This is only possible, all of it is only possible because of members like you and the folks you know in your life who aren't members yet, but are about to become one now.

If you're already a member, thank you for making this show possible.

If it's in your means to upgrade or boost your level now, we'd certainly appreciate it.

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It means the world to us that you support our work.

And

look, there are levels from $5

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So go to maximumfund.org/slash join.

This is the last time we're going to ask you directly on the air.

So please go to maximumfund.org slash join and become a member of Max Fund so

we can keep thriving and making this program, making this program better.

Yeah, and this is the last time we're going to ask you directly on the air, but Max Fund Drive continues all week.

There's so much fun that we're having on all of the hangouts and the unlockables that we're doing.

So keep up with us on socials and find out where you can see us and play with us on streams.

Joy of Zoning continues.

It's going to be so much fun.

And make sure to get out there and remember and to remind your friends.

MaximumFun.org/slash join.

We're going to have some swift justice in just a moment.

First, our thanks to Redditor MK Becker.

for naming this week's episode Statue of Imitations.

You can find us on Instagram at judgejohnhodgman, as well as on TikTok and YouTube at judgejohnhodgman pod.

By the way, John, all of the video that we share on social media, all of the video that we share on YouTube is all a new endeavor for Maximum Fund.

That's right.

So if you want to support it, go to maximumfund.org slash join.

I promise you that Daniel does not work for free.

He works at a very reasonable rate.

We're grateful to have his help, but he can't work without us paying him.

So please go to maximumfund.org slash join and continue to support the continued expansion of our offerings.

Also, I want to send our thanks out to Andreas M99 over there on Apple Podcasts for saying some nice words about the podcast and seeing fit to give us not one, not two, not three, but five stars as a rating.

Andreas M99 says, I've been listening to Judge John Hodgman for more than 10 years now.

Thank you so much.

They say they cannot recommend the podcast enough.

Hilarious, wise, educational.

Thank you all for all your hard work.

Hey, you know what, Andreas M99?

It's nothing.

Our hard work is a pleasure to perform because we know there are longtime listeners like you out there, members, I hope, as well as you leaving that review to bring in some new listeners and ideally some new members.

If you're listening on Apple Podcasts, why don't you leave us a rating and review right now?

You can do the same thing over on Pocket Cast.

And if you're watching us on YouTube, leave us a comment.

If you're a twin, identical or otherwise, let us know your insight into this.

Have you ever pulled a prank?

Have you ever scratched the switch itch?

We want to know.

Judge John Hodgman was created by Jesse Thorne and John Hodgman this episode engineered by Jacob Derwin at Technica House in New York City and by Brian Matheson at Skyline Studios in Oakland, California.

John Hodgman, you know, every time we bring litigants onto the Judge John Hodgman podcast, we have to find and book them a video and audio studio to record their side of the podcast on.

It is an expense that we have taken on because we want the show to sound and look great.

It's one we are very happy we are able to take on, and it's one we can only take on because of members of Maximum Fund.

So go to maximumfund.org slash join.

Our social media manager is Dan Telfer.

This podcast edited by A.J.

McKeon.

Our video editor is Daniel Speer.

Our producer is Jennifer Marmer.

Here's Swift Justice.

Hallie sent a dispute with her husband, Ben.

They're both Max Fund members.

Thank you, Hallie and Ben.

You rule.

Here's what Hallie says: our cat Roosevelt was brown, just like all other mackerel tabbies.

Ben says she was gray.

Who's right?

Well, Hallie and Ben sent in two wonderful photos of Roosevelt:

one in the direct sunshine, one Roosevelt's hiding behind a skeleton.

I think the dress is gold.

Gray or brown.

I'm going to say that this cat is browner than gray.

I do see the difference, but here's what they're not telling you, Jesse.

This isn't one cat.

This is two identical twin cats pretending to be.

Oh, I just got pranked.

That's okay.

I can take it.

I don't mind.

John, you've been doing a lot of zoning on the joy of zoning, your SimCity streaming program during the Max Fun Drive?

That's right, Jesse.

I mentioned it before, in honor of Max Fun Drive, I have returned to SimCity 2013.

I'm live streaming every weekday morning, starting at 10 a.m.

Eastern.

That's 7 a.m.

Pacific, as we continue to build out Hodgtona Beach, a resort community for people who like to party virtually.

And it is in honor of the spring break theme of Maximum Fun and itself is a lot of fun.

So please join us in the mornings over there on the judge john hodgman youtube channel which is of course john hodgman pod claxon claxon claxon please pardon the claxon but i wanted to interrupt for a moment and simply say a very special thank you to those of you who have just joined maximum fun for the very first time and those of you who are about to do so during this max fun drive i want to say thank you but more than that i want to say thank you personally on the internet and i want to mispronounce your name while doing it yes it's a special offer for all all those brand new members of Maximum Fund during this Max Fund Drive.

If you have just joined for the very first time, do me a favor, send me the receipts, take a screenshot of your confirmation email and email it to me at hodgman at maximumfund.org.

And over the next few days, I will go on my personal social media and thank you on video.

And I will mispronounce your name while doing it.

Once again, if you're a brand new member of Maximum Fund or you join before the end of the Max Fund Drive for the very first time,

screenshot your confirmation email, email it to me at hodgman at maximumfund.org, and I will mispronounce your name on the internet.

All right, let's get back to it.

Maximumfund.org/slash JJHO is where you send in your disputes.

We always need them.

But if you're going to go to maximumfund.org for one reason, I think you know where I want you to go this week, maximumfund.org slash join.

And if you have any disputes, you can send them in there too.

And remember, our final request to you: please become a member of Maximum Fun at maximumfun.org/slash join.

We'll talk to you next time on the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

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