TEASER: Judge John Hodgman Spring Break Party

It's the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorne.

With me, as always, Judge John Hodgman.

We're so excited to present a teaser from our Max Fun Drive bonus episode this year:

a spring break party, Judge John Hodgman style.

I don't know about you, Jesse, but for me, winter has been dark and cold and hard.

I am ready for a spring break.

I had such an amazing time with you at the Judge John Hodgman Beach House for our spring break party at Maximum Fun HQ.

We had Ben Harris in there from Greatest Trek.

He was our guest bartender.

He's a tropical drink enthusiast.

We tried spring cocktails.

I got a little drunk.

We answered some spring break disputes and we played some very silly games.

The full episode's available on audio and video in the members only bonus feed.

So if you're a member, check it out now.

But if you're not a member, we have great news.

It's the Max Fun Drive right now.

Go to maximumfund.org slash join and become a new member.

If you join at $5 a month, you will get immediate immediate access to bonus content across the entire network, including our spring break party.

Just as we plant new seeds in the spring that we might have food in the winter, sure,

so we need new members to help keep things going here at Maximum Fund.

But we're not going to eat you.

This is the best time.

Well, speak for yourself.

This is the best time of year to join us.

We hope you'll enjoy this short clip from our spring break party.

And please join us at the party, maximumfund.org slash join.

Benjamin Harrison,

you ever get some underage alcohol served to you?

I never drank until my 21st birthday, and I was always curious about having a fake ID, but I was, I think, too chicken to actually run one down in those days.

Like, I thought it would be neat to be able to buy booze before I was 21, but I was also terrified of my own shadow.

I remember I went to England one time, and I probably, I wasn't 18, which the drinking age was 18 in England and still is, I believe, but I was like

16 or 17.

My mom and dad took me.

My dad had a business trip there or something.

And I convinced my parents, I was a very good advocate for myself,

that I should be allowed to take an overnight trip alone.

to Oxford because I love to visit famous universities.

But my secret plan was when I got to Oxford, I would go to a pub and and order a beer and see if they would get me.

And I did it.

And they did not ID me because they didn't care.

And of course, I ordered a half pint because I had never really had a drink in a bar before.

I maybe hadn't had really a drink before.

I never really drank until I was 18.

And I wasn't even 18 then.

So I had a half pint of some kind of

flat beer.

And it really threw me for a loop.

And I went back to my little room at the BNB where I was staying, and I wrote a poem.

I did have a fake ID.

I had a fake ID because when I got to college, a lot of the rap concerts were 21 and over.

And my neighbor, Dan Grayson, was into painting models.

So

he had like one of those paintbrushes with like one piece of hair.

And so I just gave him my ID and he took red paint and changed the number

my birth date from 1981 to 1980 or something like that.

And

I went to a lot of 21 and up rap concerts as an 18, 19, 20 year old.

When I got to college, because you know, I love visiting major universities,

I went to Yale University,

accredited four-year college in Southern California.

I went to public school.

Go ahead.

And there was

on the on Chapel Street, there was a very nice bottle shop, a wine and spirit shop where a man uh with tinted glasses and a mustache named paul

would sell me bottles of bourbon with zero questions asked uh this was not the not the the 90s even a couple years before the 90s even

it was a wild time wasn't it crystal

just realized that her name is crystal

crystal on the cruise that's the movie that i want to watch 13-year-old Crystal drinking strawberry daiquiris on a cruise in the 90s.

Forget about it.

Sold in the room.

We're in Los Angeles.

Here we go.

Anyway, Crystal, what I was trying to say is I decided that I would enjoy drinking once I left home and went to college.

And I would go and I would, every weekend, I would buy a bottle of bourbon from Paul.

And we obviously became buddies, first name basis.

And after months and months of doing this, I was in there and Paul said, I'm really sorry, John, but I have to ask you for identification because there were two New Haven cops in there.

And I'm like, Of course, Paul, I completely understand.

I left it in my other pants.

I'll be right back.

And I never went in again.

That was the end of my friendship with Paul.

But he was so nice about it.

He's like, I'm so sorry.

I just remember seeing him.

So sorry, John, but I must ask you for identification.

Paul, I hope you're doing great out there.

That store went out of business like a week later, right?

It's not there anymore.

I visit once a year to see if it'll ever come back.

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