AN AMAZING LOVE STORY FROM BUMBLE

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Okay, so

this is a really fun, fabulous love story.

And you guys are going to understand who they are, my guests are very, very quickly.

But let me introduce them.

DJ to my left.

Hi,

James.

Guys, welcome to Cat on the Loose.

Thank you for having me.

It's such a pleasure and honor to have you.

Well, you know, it's an honor for me.

So let's start with you, DJ.

And because

I want people to understand, like, who are they, what's going on?

Sure.

You sent an email to my publicist a few weeks ago.

Yes.

And you wrote something that I have to say, it really, that's the reason why I do the show.

And it's the best gift anybody can give me.

You said you were going through some major heartbreak, something horrible, and you listened to the show and it made you laugh and it made you feel better.

So when I, when Samantha, my publicist, showed me that email, I was like, oh my God, that's like the sweetest thing anybody could say to me.

Because when I started the show, as you know, I was going through hell and high walls.

I remember.

Yeah, and that's why I started doing it.

And I was venting.

And I always say, like, I don't care how big the show gets, if I can help one person, one woman out there feel better about what she's going through, I feel like I did my job.

So I have to say thank you for the email.

Oh, but it's, Kat, I have to say thank you because when I wrote that email, I knew it was a shot in the dog.

I'm like, she gets a ton of emails.

She's probably not going to even see this one.

But I was like, I think if anybody's going to understand me, it's going to be Kat.

And she's gonna know, she's gonna answer me.

Um, but yeah, I discovered you.

Um, I was had just ended a relationship, and the person I was with was um an addict, so that's why when I listened to you, I was okay, let's let's go by parts.

So, you were in a long-term relationship, yes, it was about two years, two years, yeah, that's all he was addicted to what, well, he was so he initially he was not, he's a great guy, but he then became an alcoholic, like my husband that passed away, yeah, exactly and that's why when I heard you I was like oh my goodness and um

the way you described your husband because you're like it was so hard but he was still a great person yeah same like with this guy I was with yeah right so it was hard to end that relationship but um it was the better thing to do for me but it was so heartbreaking and I never had been with someone who was an addict so I didn't know how to figure out how to move on yeah and then when I heard you and it was so raw and so honest.

And you're right.

When you started, it really was just you talking.

Yeah.

And because I live in LA and you live in LA, I was like, oh my goodness, I feel so connected to her.

And I binge,

I think I listened to a couple of them and I just binged everything.

Oh my gosh.

I just loved it.

By the way, congratulations on leaving the relationship because I always say

it took me 15 years to leave mine.

15 years being in a crazy abusive marriage to an alcoholic who, in the beginning, was not an alcoholic and became an alcoholic.

And nowadays, of course, you know, I'm more mature and everything, but I say you got to save yourself and get the hell out and figure out that you deserve better.

So, and a lot of people don't understand how hard it is to get out.

It is really hard, especially because this was kind of just during COVID.

So, you couldn't really get together with your girlfriends to get that support.

And so, that's why your podcast became my support.

Oh, thank you.

And I just loved all the stories you shared when you went out and dated.

And I was 47, right?

And I was terrified of going back to date because

in LA, there's this huge thing though about age, right?

You know what I say, right?

I personally think it's all baloney.

I think aging is in our mind.

If you decide you're old, like, okay, I'm out of the dating game, that becomes your reality.

Right.

It's like with anything.

Like, if you decide I'm old, yeah, you're going to age.

I think your mind has a lot of power.

And it's not just LA, right?

I know, because of Hollywood and everything, but you go to Miami or New York, the girls say the same thing, but I think you gotta, you determine like what kind of life you're gonna have, right?

I mean, love is ageless, right?

And I'm gonna bring, I'm gonna, if you wanna say something, you're welcome to, James.

I'm listening to you guys.

But I want to get you your part.

Yeah, I want to get your part, which is the love.

I'm already telling you.

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Everybody, it's a really happy, happy, happy ending love story.

That's why I love it.

I couldn't wait to share you guys with the world.

But I wanted to mention the age because that's where I was.

Yeah.

Right.

I was in your mindset.

I was like, oh, that's it.

Exactly.

Who's going to want to date me?

And then I was listening to your podcast and I was like, okay, if Cat can do it, I can do it.

And it made me laugh.

The plunger story.

Like, I was like, just dying laughing.

I know, right?

I can have told James about it.

Oh, you got to watch.

You saw it?

I didn't hear it, but she told me about it.

The plunger episode, you guys got to actually watch a video episode.

It was a crazy, she's adorable, was a friend of mine.

And she has this theory that men are shy approaching women in public.

public, which is true most of the time.

So she was like, if you walk around with something really, really crazy they're gonna come talk to you so me and my friend it was just before the holidays here on rodeo drive right we we are dressed to the nines we look fabulous she's super gorgeous and she's like i'm gonna carry a plunger around

and sure enough every bar we went to

all the guys everybody stop and they laugh and they talk and and i ended up dating exactly you got a dating i ended up dating one of the guys and falling in love with the guy which was like

huge because he's like a trust fund baby useless guy that doesn't do anything with his life.

But anyway, that's another episode.

I can picture that.

I would 100% talk to some woman if she was carrying a planter.

See, there you go.

Everybody talks.

It was such a great idea.

But that's how you got me out of my sadness, right?

And slowly, okay.

I can do this.

I can go back and date.

Oh, thank you.

That means the world to me.

So, okay, then as you're mending your broken heart, you're like, I got to jump back into the dating world.

I got to jump back in the dating world.

But I just want to say, the whole time I'm following you, and I'm a big podcast junkie, and I was looking at the list of the top 200.

And then one day I was like, oh my gosh, Kat is like on that.

We were climbing slowly.

It is taking forever, but yeah, every little step, you know, it's

fun.

Yeah, it's a good journey.

But you're right.

So

I decided, okay, I got to start dating.

And so I joined Bumble because that's my favorite app.

I love the idea that I could be the one contacting the guy first.

And so I started doing it.

It was not very successful at first.

Got my hopes broken a few times here and there.

You went on a few dates.

Yes, one on a few dates.

Some guys were like, yeah, I'm looking for a relationship.

And the next thing you know, they send you a message saying they want to a situationship maybe.

And you're like, that's not what we.

Unfortunately,

that's the number one complaint of everybody on dating apps.

There's a lot of flakes on there.

On the men's side and the women's, everybody complains, like, of course, right?

There are a lot of players, a lot of liars, a lot of BS.

But yeah, for sure.

And so, but, but I'm not someone who gets negative.

So I was like, okay, I'm going to keep doing it.

I really truly believed I was going to meet the right person.

And so.

So your mindset, you notice how this was changing, right?

I really believe in having a vision.

Yeah.

So I was kind of new to this.

You have to believe.

Yes, yes.

You have to believe.

And so, yeah, one day I was matched with this guy

and he looked so handsome in his picture.

Oh, and I think we do talked about this too.

I lived in Woodland Hills at the time, which is the valley, and he was on the west side.

And I was kind of like, oh, that's not going to work.

That's too far.

It's 12 miles.

Oh, my God.

You're worse than me.

Yeah.

I'm like in LA 12 miles.

Like, I tell people that I want to date within the Beverly Hills ratio.

They're like, oh, my God, you're such a snob.

Forget.

I'm like, but yeah, traffic is,

it's tough.

It's like it's tough.

Yeah, the first month, it's fun.

You're all excited, but after a while, it goes.

But Woodland Hills and West Hollywood is not that bad.

It's not that bad.

Yeah, well, he was in Calver City.

Calver City.

With traffic, it could be an hour and a half, right?

Or more.

Yeah.

Or more.

I know every inch of that road.

You memorized it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you guys connected on Bumble

and you went on a date.

Yeah.

So what I want to say, what I loved about him, because I grew up in France and so what I loved about him was that he had lived in Italy for 15 years and so he had a story as well and we connected and the first thing we did first is we did a video chat, which I think is a great idea.

I love video chats because you know what?

If the person doesn't look like that, if you don't have that initial attraction, you're not going to waste.

Especially for Ruben, right?

Because honestly, going on a date, I know guys say, I have to pay.

But for us, we pay too because we do our hair, makeup, nails, outfits, yeah, right?

It's such a production for sure.

And you're right, it's some people don't look like that pictures, but also it's that connection, the vibe you can feel right away, even on the video, you can feel if you're gonna get along with this person.

So, you guys saw each other's profile, and you're like, let's do a video date.

Yes, yes.

And the minute you did a video date, you were like, I want to meet.

You know, I was telling him the other day, like, I knew I wanted to meet him, but I wasn't like blown away by him on video initially, to be quite honest with you.

That's why he fell in love with you.

You're like,

I'll give you a shot.

He looks great in person, though.

Yeah.

And I, we,

it's true.

I was not.

I'm a solid five on video.

Well, the good news is you passed

the video.

He was so charming.

And so, so he had so much, interesting person.

He was easy to talk to.

We laughed.

It was was a fun conversation.

And so we decided to meet in Sherman Oaks, but like a week later.

And then he emailed me saying, well, actually, I have to go to Kansas City on that, I think before.

It should be the day after.

Yeah, like we were supposed to, yeah, we were supposed to be on Wednesday.

And he said you had to go on Wednesday to Kansas City.

So then we had to push a date to memorial day, right?

The 2020 three.

Yeah, and then I had to leave the next morning.

The very next day.

So he wanted to meet me before he left.

But wait, did you plan a nice date for the first date?

We were just going to meet for drinks.

That's all.

Yeah.

But did you plan it?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

He was new to town.

So

I had just arrived in LA.

Oh, okay.

Where'd you move from?

I have lived all over.

And yeah, I have a crazy time.

No, but like when you arrived in LA from where?

I was traveling around the country and

also and hiking in different areas.

And

my son had moved to LA and he said, Dad, come check it out.

I think you'd like it.

And I just never really pictured what the nature was like in LA.

Oh, hi, so I know.

It's funny, so many people don't know.

I rented an Airbnb for a month.

And I came out and I had so much fun.

Wow.

And so I extended for a month and I just kept extending.

And I think I don't remember how many months I'd been here when I was.

It was meant to be.

Yeah, it was meant to be.

So you were, you, when you, when the first date, you said, let's meet halfway.

Yes, yes.

that's very nice.

Yeah, one thing he could have come to me, but I just say let's meet in Chairman Oaks, right?

Like, okay, so I'm gonna be completely honest.

I never, ever, ever would have done that for a guy.

I know, that's why, like, I'm so picky.

Like, I just have these things in my mind, and I should be more like you.

That I'm like, dude, you know, you have to come meet me.

I would have, yeah,

I know you would have, but I think it's very nice of her since you were new in town

to like make it easy for you.

Obviously, that's why you guys are together, you know, but I just think I just wouldn't have done that.

So I could have lost an opportunity to meet the person of my life, you know, because I'm like that.

But go with your guts, because I don't think I've done that with some guys, right?

But with him, I just really cannot tell that something could happen here for whatever reason.

So you guys had drinks?

Yes, when I saw him, I got to tell you, when I saw him, because in the video it wasn't that, you know, but when I saw him walking towards me, I still remember

just being blown away.

Like, wow, he's very handsome.

So, you saw him, you're like, oh, okay, I like this.

How about you, James?

What was like, so tell me your impression when you had a video call with her?

Yeah, I just remembered that she was cute and easy to talk to.

And so I was like, yeah, let's try.

You never know until you meet someone.

But were you kind of like her?

Yeah, you never know.

Okay.

And when you saw her in person, were you like, okay, I really like her?

I was kind of, it was a surprise to me because, so I'm 6'2,

200-ish pounds.

Yeah, you're very tall.

You're very tiny.

DJ is five feet tall and

like half of my weight, right?

And so I was standing there and I didn't know that.

She got out of the car and I was like, Oh, you didn't know her height?

I didn't know.

So she got out and she's walking up the street and I'm, I was just like, wow, she's so like tiny and girly.

This is really nice.

And she came.

And so, yeah, it was, it's funny when we look at ourselves in a mirror right now.

We look like different, like we're from different brands.

I personally think it's really cute.

I like that because I also like a man that is much bigger than me.

So, you know,

if he works for you guys, I think it's super adorable.

You know, obviously she's very, very good looking.

So I was happy with that.

But

there are a lot of beautiful women around, right, in LA.

Yeah.

And I had been here for, I don't know how many months, but I

get too much.

Yeah, I had started dating already and

had some funny experiences too, right?

Yeah.

But

then we sat and talked at the corner of a bar and we're drinking these spicy margaritas.

And the conversation was just so natural and flowed really well.

And we were laughing our heads off.

And part of it was these margaritas were so spicy.

I don't know if you remember that.

Yeah.

That our mouths were literally on fire.

And then when we kissed at the end of the night, it was almost panicked.

Oh, you guys kissed the first date?

We did.

I actually kissed him.

Yeah, though, that's right.

Yeah, we're sitting at the bar.

That's another thing that I would never do.

I never had that done.

And knowing DJ, it surprises me.

I'm not afraid.

You you know you're not gonna believe that but sometimes i go on a first date and if the guy's pushy yes to try to kiss me i that's a deal breaker for me that's i got super annoyed but cat cheek obviously you guys are really meant to yeah she knows me she leaned across and kissed me and the way she says it is she's like i could tell you wanted it because of the way you're saying i can tell you was way too polite to do well you wanted it too i did because i knew he was leaving the next day and i was like okay i need to know if he's a good kisser so yeah, I mean, we had been drinking, so I mean, there was a bit, you know, margarita,

but it was just good fun.

I mean, I literally remember like just laughing our heads off until you almost cry, right?

Yes, okay, so that was the first day.

So, after that date, you're like, I want to see her again, yeah.

And so, then I had to travel for three weeks.

I decided I was going to stay in LA, so I had to go back and get my car and drive across country in the car.

And I had some work things to do, so for three weeks, we didn't see each other, which was kind of nice because three weeks after the first date you institutionalized, and you were still still connected.

We started texting and talking and it was really a nice way to like get to know each other in a non-physical way.

Yeah.

With this like forced separation.

And I was, and she would see pictures of me like, okay, now he's in New Mexico and I'm coming across the country taking pictures out the window.

And so it was really sweet.

And we were really looking forward then to seeing each other again.

Yeah.

And he doesn't know this, but and I think you'll understand for me, I was really scared that because sometimes you know how people you meet and then you

don't see each other for weeks.

And you diesels.

Yeah, right.

But he was so consistent.

Every day I would hear from him every day.

And so

I think this is really important because

if the person wants you, if they want to see you again,

they're going to communicate.

Like especially women, they make excuses like, oh, he's busy.

He's no.

Nobody's too busy to be in contact with you if they care about you.

Like if they really care, like, I want to see this woman again.

Yes.

They can be working 12 hours, driving cross country.

They're going to find the time, even when you go to the bathroom, right?

Or when you go to sleep, hi.

So this is really important.

I always tell my girlfriend's cat, I said, you'll know a man is really into you when he's consistent.

Yeah.

And he, James was always consistent.

I never worried about whether or not he was into me.

Yes.

And then tell her about what we did after you came back.

Yeah.

So we got back and I don't remember if you had a bad day.

We got back on Father's Day.

Yeah, we had another day.

We had a dinner.

It was very nice.

And then I was like, I need to learn LA.

so I'm gonna plan a trip for us.

So, I planned, was it like a five-day trip?

Yo, the second day

asked me to go on a trip with you before the second date, yeah, because I wanted to go around.

So, we went to Idol.

Was it Idol Wild?

We went on a one-week vacation after barely knowing each other, yeah.

And she's and as we're talking, she's like, I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it home from this, I don't really know you.

And um, I rented a tree house in Idol

Wild, Idol Wild, and then we went to Big Bear and we went to Joshua Tree, and we had so much fun.

She, I'm not especially outgoing in public and she got me to go on stage and sing karaoke.

Oh, wow.

She sang like a virgin.

I love that.

And there's an audience of like six people in this theater.

And I got up and sang Johnny Cash song.

Oh, my God.

And

we just had a great time.

We went to Joshua Tree and climbed around boulders and things.

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But let me ask you something, DJ.

Okay, so you like this guy, you're communicating with him for all these weeks, and he's saying, Yeah, let's go on another date.

and but you were you know you had gone through a bad relationship and everything did were you a little afraid like does he really want a relationship absolutely or is he just wants to travel with me you know let's be honest like have sex and dump me or was he telling you i want a relationship no he was not i was did you know you wanted a relationship james uh

i was open to one for sure but i didn't need one but i was open to one right i i think i was no i was scared the entire time i think like most girls, we don't know, right?

The first couple of months, you don't know, so you just try to enjoy the moment.

And so, I had no idea, but but I was like at an age where, like, you know, I'm just gonna do it, yeah, and and you followed your instincts, right?

Right, take a chance, and he's such a good guy, and even then, I knew he was a good guy.

Um, so, but yes, I was always nervous, and if you knew that that is like the sweetest thought, of course, I mean, in the beginning, when you're getting to know someone, I think that's the test of fire when you travel together,

Right?

Because one thing is go on a date, dinner, but like when you're traveling, you're like sleeping, waking up, you're doing everything.

Then you really find out, like, do we have similar lifestyles?

Do we really want the same things?

Right.

It's like make or break

for a lot of couples.

Anybody can fake it during a dinner or a day.

Yeah.

But, you know, if you're going to be with someone for six days, right?

You're going to really get to know who they are.

Yeah.

So I have two dogs and it was very important for me that he loved dogs and he we took them on a vacation and he was super with dogs.

That was a big plus.

Yeah.

And we like you said, our lifestyle is very similar.

We wake up early, we like to exercise.

I mean, we just had a lot of things in common.

It was easy.

I think you have to have that.

I always say, yeah, of course, love is important and chemistry and physical attraction.

But if you don't have similar lifestyles, it's not going to work in the long run.

Right.

A great example is, I always say, like, J-Lo and Ben Affleck.

Yeah.

Right.

They love each other.

Obviously, they tried twice.

Why didn't it work?

Because they are like night and day.

Right.

She loves the limelight and traveling and parties and everything.

And he's the opposite.

Exactly.

And you have to have like, like you said, if you wake up early and he wakes up at 10 a.m., it's never going to work.

And I got to tell you, Kat, I want to say this.

I've always had not great luck with men.

So I've always,

it's always been very difficult for me to the point where I was like, okay, I must be cursed somehow, never to be.

Oh my God, obviously not.

Yeah, I was very, and so, but yeah, I know you start feeling, like you said, insecure.

Like, what's going on?

You know, where's my person?

Right.

So, the whole time I'm dating him, right, I'm, I'm, I'm showing him like this confident woman, but deep down, I'm like so scared, right?

Scared to get hurt, scared to get disappointed.

But, but he's, he's just great.

So, after this trip, how long did you guys date until?

Did you say let's be exclusive?

Did you say let's be exclusive?

How did that part happen?

We just kind of knew, right?

We didn't really.

It was pretty quickly, actually, i think after a month or two and i remember you saying to me i don't know if you remember this you're like well in france

because she grew up in france yeah in france you just you know you date until you decide to not date right and it's not like you date around with a bunch of exclusive there's no multi-dating yeah yeah you just try one until

that's how i am yeah like i now i know a lot of people a lot of even girls like even matchmakers they're like oh just keep right your options open I can barely focus.

I barely have time to focus on one person.

I don't know how so many girls like focus on two, three, four, five at the same time.

It's crazy, right?

Well, especially if you really like someone, I feel bad not, you know.

So, so I had expressed that to him.

But I think what really

I had my appendicitis had to be removed.

And this happened like three months after we did it.

And he was amazing.

I think that's really what cemented how I felt about you and how you felt about me.

He forced her to go to the

He wasn't me to go to the house.

That's very, then you know the person really cares about you, of course, in times of stress.

And how about, did you guys have the conversation about let's delete our bumble profiles?

Because that's a big deal, right?

I had this bumble star years ago.

I don't know if you listened to the bumble episode.

I was dating this guy for

like you guys are, we're dating.

Like we are literally all over each other's lives.

He's staying my blade, lah, we travel.

And then one day I'm sitting at his house, like my dog's there.

I'm like, literally, I'm not kidding.

I was naked on his couch, a towel wrapped around me, having an ice cream, my little dog napping after me.

And he decided to tell me that he was still on bumble

because he was feeding his ego, feeding his ego.

Like after all these months,

you know, and I'm like,

I don't think so, you know, like I deserve better, but goodbye.

So I think deciding when you delete the app is a really important part

in a relationship if you're meeting through a dating app.

Did you guys have that conversation?

I think we did.

I think we just did

that on our own, and we didn't have a conversation about it.

I don't remember, but I know we told each other that we had done that.

Yeah, just because we knew a couple months in that this was a serious thing.

Yeah, so we know we didn't have that conversation.

But you never asked him, like, hey.

No, I just you just knew he wasn't looking.

Yeah, and I just, I feel like for, at least for me for things to work out, I just have to trust.

Right.

For sure.

Yeah, because if I start to have doubts, then it gets crazier.

Oh, my God.

I completely agree.

If you can't trust someone, if there's no loyalty,

there is nothing.

Right.

And how about for you, Jane?

You just like you were dating her.

I was, I just arrived in L.A.

and I had been dating around for a couple years.

I'd been divorced for, I guess, 15 years now, right?

And I'd had a few long-term relationships since then.

And so for a couple of years, I was just wanting to just relax and just date casually.

Yeah.

So I wasn't, but I wasn't against it.

Right.

And

so I arrived in LA.

Here's my, yeah, in L.A., the whole dating scene was completely different.

So I had traveled around with this app and dated in, you know, I was in Colorado.

I was in South Dakota for a while.

Oh, so you're a good tester for Bumble.

Yeah.

And so I got to LA and it was crazy.

Was LA the worst?

I had to literally change my dating profile.

I don't know if you, if it was before,

you must have seen it, but I said on there, I had to change it to add a sentence that said, I'm looking for a non-materialistic person.

I actually said that in my thing

because

I was getting like a lot of interactions.

And these women were saying, like, okay, let's meet at Rodeo Drive.

I want to go shopping.

on our first date.

And I thought it was a joke, but then it kept happening over and over again.

So I put that on there.

So it was kind of crazy.

But

unfortunately, by the way, it is true.

It happens.

Every guy I ever dated says the same thing.

All my guy friends say the same thing.

So many girls out there, even before the first date, they're like, hey, can you bring me a gift?

Can we go to like, come on, that's disgusting.

All right.

Let's be all like, please.

And like ladies, you know, have some self-respect.

It happened a lot.

And I remember DJ's profile was like, was like mine.

It was very simple.

It's like, I live here.

I have two dogs.

I have this.

I want mine.

I like to sleep in my socks.

Yeah.

I like to sleep with socks.

Yeah.

And you put that on the table.

Yeah.

Something very basic, like just the facts, sir.

Right.

And I like that.

I still do.

Even in the summer.

It's funny that you open up like that.

Like, hey, if you don't like me to sleep in my socks,

do you have sex with the socks on or you take them off?

Yes, I take them off.

Thank God.

When it's time to be sexy,

I had sex with this dude that I was dating with, and I looked all of a sudden, he had the socks on.

I was like, okay, I have to go home and sleep at home because my dogs, you know,

and I left because that was like a little much.

Yeah, like, come on, if you don't take your socks off to have sex, like, you're not for me.

No, I lost the track.

Okay, so

we were dating after we started then dating and I was, you know, I was having fun dating, right?

Yeah.

Because LA is a crazy place for that, right?

And I was meeting very interesting people, very nice people, everything.

And

after

a couple months, maybe I sort of realized, well, I could still do this, but I just don't really want to.

That's awesome, right?

Yeah, and and so, yeah, that's how we kind of

that's the purpose of it, right?

If you like someone, like you said, focus on them, yeah, and that's very unfortunate that a lot of men are still like, oh, let me see what's better out there.

If that's how you feel, yeah, go see what's better out there.

But if you like someone, appreciate them enough to focus on them and see where this is going to develop.

So, how long after you guys were dating that you decided like, let's move in together?

I think it was July because I moved to, I sold my place

for a reason we'll explain later.

I sold my place and then I moved to the west side.

So over there you moved in, yeah.

Between a year and a year and a half.

Okay, so you guys dated for a year?

She moved to the west side

and got a place near me and then I was still in this Airbnb where I was really extending every month and then we moved into that place together.

So how long has this been now?

Now,

two-ish years almost coming up on two years that you guys are living together.

Oh, no, no, living together now, a year plus, yeah.

No, it's from the summer, yeah.

Not even a year.

So, you've been together for what?

Three years, almost two years, two years now, yeah.

Two years now, okay, and you're living together super solid.

So, here it is, proof that the dating apps can help you find love because we always talk about it's a shit show.

It's so frustrating, it's exhausting it's stressful which can be but I loved the story when I heard it because it is a means to an end you probably would never would have met if you weren't for Bob like you wouldn't cross paths anywhere you wouldn't cross paths on Rodeo Drive

it's not your style right and I like that people you know because a lot of people like they lose hope they're like I'm never gonna do this dating app shit again yeah but I always say like you gotta keep putting yourself out there because your person

is trying to find you.

And if you give up, like if you delete your profile, they're, you know, they're not going to find.

So yes, guys, don't lose hope because there are amazing people on dating apps that actually want a relationship.

Yeah.

It's you're right.

I mean, I personally think dating apps are great.

I know people don't really like them, but I do.

And I think you just have to meet someone who is on the same page as you are.

Total timing and everything.

Yeah.

I think it's honestly, obviously, there's a lot of crap out there.

I agree.

Unfortunately, a lot of gold diggers and escorts and a lot of players.

But it's like finding a diamond in the sand, right?

And the only way to find a treasure is if you keep looking for it.

Yeah, it's a good way for that first connection.

And then I think you have to just meet and then there's either that chemistry or that's not.

And you can't really tell that.

Yeah.

over the app.

But when you it's it's a way to meet and then you know it right away.

You have to meet.

And then the story gets better.

And this now explaining why you reached out to Samantha, my publicist, you guys obviously sleep together, you live together, and you created something incredible.

You went into business together.

So this is like pretty solid.

Yes.

Do you want to tell me the story about how you came up with this idea of the sleeping dove?

And we're going to explain what the sleeping dove is.

Because I, not kidding, you guys, like.

Shameless plug because I fell in love with them and the product because I thought it was the cutest.

Because it's interesting when there's a product with a meaning behind it and a romance behind it and this is like all around super romantic.

Well

so

I met him when I was 48 so I always tell people it took me 48 years to find him.

So I was I love being close to him.

I love him and so but when we went to sleep he loves to spoon hold me but I would get super hot in my midsection.

And your midsection is such an awkward part of your body to try to cool off with the regular blanket.

And so, I was having a hard time sleeping because I kept sweating in that particular area.

I didn't want to push him off because we love sleeping together, we love sharing the same blanket.

And so, one morning I woke up and I said, Okay,

what if we put windows in a blanket?

What can I have?

Which sounds like crazy, but you guys actually developed

an obviously very complicated engineering, so to speak, And you developed this fantastic comforter.

It's not really a blanket, it's a very high-end comforter with windows,

which is super cool because you can literally flap it open.

And so, like, if you're feeling really hot and he's colder, like you're you can flap open your windows and then it cools you.

Yes, each sleeper has their own windows and you have top and bottom.

So if it's your feet or your midsection, like me.

And I can still cuddle next to him, right?

He can still hold me, but I can just open that flap and then it cools me off.

So, and we wanted something that you didn't have to plug in or use an app to program.

We just wanted something natural.

Yeah.

And obviously when she told you the idea, you thought it was a really cool idea.

You didn't think like you're crazy.

No, she told me in the morning and I knew that she'd been having trouble sleeping.

And I felt for her because I sleep like a rock.

And

And she told me, you know, simply like, you know, I wish there was just a window because you like to open the window, you know, the fresh air and it it feels great, right?

Yeah, yeah.

And

I'm maybe a more methodical thinker than DJ has very emotional and very impulsive, right?

And, and I just started thinking about it.

And the first thing I thought was, well, you know, surely someone has already invented this, right?

And I, I was a lawyer at one point years and years ago.

I started, I did some patent searches and stuff.

And I'm like, well,

this exact thing we're thinking of, no one has thought of to my knowledge.

That's amazing.

And so, I don't know, over the next week or two, and then we thought, well, let's just make one.

Yes.

And DJ has a background in fashion and

product development.

Product development.

And I have sort of a physics engineering.

So you guys drew it?

Yes.

Like on a piece of paper.

We drew.

Then you got like prototypes.

Yes.

Yes.

And you literally step by step by step made the sleeping dunes.

When I started dating her, one thing I did not expect was that I would, at my age, like like be on my hands and knees with the scissors cutting up pieces of fabric.

Oh, yeah, you guys showed me some pictures of you like literally doing everything you wanted to do.

So we would buy comforters and cut them up and piece them together with like, we started with tape and then we started sewing it and then we started hiring people to do the sewing for us as they got better and better.

Oh my God.

And so that's like the coolest story because you guys are literally developing this product at home, but at the same time, it's becoming a real business.

it is it is and it worked and was like okay this this actually works these windows work now we just have to figure out how to mass produce this yeah

it's not just that it worked it was you know it was a sort of a clever idea right yeah but

when you start sleeping under it it really changes the way you sleep because you don't have to move the blanket at all you just literally flap it open yeah flip open either the one on your midsection or your lower and it just folds over and then when you get cool you just flip it right back so you stay

swaddled the whole time.

You're completely covered because when you open it in different temperatures, but you can cool off or warm up, and it changed our sleep.

And then we started giving out prototypes to people to test, and we learned there's all sorts of other

people that love it, like expecting mothers,

people, women going through menopause, people that sleep with their dogs, such as myself, because I want to be bundled up.

My big dog, Phoenix, always wants to be on top.

My little guy wants to be like like under the little window so yeah it's great for and you did a video on your Instagram of your dog and your cat the cutest thing so it's basically like anybody that and you know there's a lot of couples doing um a sleep divorce yes they're sleeping in separate bedrooms

exactly so the sleeping dove i love the name sleeping dove is a great option for people to stay still sleep sleep together if they have different temperatures let's let's get grab one guys if you're listening to the audio episode, please go to the YouTube because we're gonna dump the video there.

Cat on the loose shove because you gotta see it because it's so adorable.

And you can go to their Instagram as well.

It's sleeping dove home.

Yes, so you guys can actually see this.

Let's open this box.

Let's open this box, James.

Open for me.

Can I open this one?

Sure, sure.

Oh, this one is the gray one, right?

You brought one that is open.

So, no, we're not gonna destroy it.

The packaging is like super high-end.

Thank you.

Yes, yes, super high-end.

It's like 100% cotton.

Yes, 100% cotton.

It's 100% cotton.

And it's absolutely one thing we decided was we were only going to use the very best materials you could find.

And I'm very finicky, I told you, with my bedding.

I'm super picky.

And when I opened it, I was like, yeah, this is insanely soft.

I want to show you guys.

It's baffle box construction.

Yeah, look, this is the window.

Like, literally, underneath is like a light,

like a sheet type thing.

And if you're cold, you close the window.

And there is one on the upper body, and there is a window on the lower body.

Exactly.

Because, like you said, some people like, oh, my feet are cold.

So, like, no excuse for anybody in love to not sleep

together anymore.

And the quality is like, oh.

Yeah, we decided not to try and cut any corners on it.

And so we used the very best, like, the best down.

No, obviously.

It's very hard.

It's not expensive to just get the

down for it.

I'm very bougie with my betting.

You know, my sheets are Freddy, you know, Fretty, the Italian.

Yeah.

That's why I'm telling you, no kidding.

I only partner with stuff that I believe in and that I would use myself because I don't bullshit.

Because I think, you know, when we have people out there, I don't want to tell people to buy something that I wouldn't use myself.

So no kidding, when I got it out of the box, I was like, yes, this is fancy, like a five-star hotel type betting.

It's really fabulous cotton.

You guys did an incredible job.

And now you, on on top of being in love and a bumble happy story.

And by the way, Bumbo is not sponsoring this podcast.

So you're welcome, Bumbo.

Right?

Yeah.

We should have reached that.

No, I say, Joe, please, Joanna.

If you're trying to find love, give it a chance.

No, totally.

Like, I do my bumbo.

Like, I take breaks, you know, the man.

I do my man diets for many months, but I jump in like, okay, you know, every once in a while, you got to go for it.

Seriously.

Yeah, totally.

But you guys are building an amazing business together.

Yes.

It's very exciting.

And we didn't, I had no idea what kind of trouble I was getting into when I decided to meet DJ, but it's been a great ride.

But now you guys sleep snuggled like a spoon under the sleeping dog.

Yes.

Yes.

We sleep together.

And I'm not sweating in my midsection anymore.

And when I do, I just open the window.

It's more your feet for you.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

The other thing, some people don't like the weight on their feet.

And so you can flip this off of your feet and so um you know there are two sort of

two sort of conflicting things that people need when they sleep one is this like what's it called paro the the

you need to feel swaddled you want to be covered and it's like a very primitive instinct right i do but at the same time you have this like thermoregulatory system where you want to be at the right temperature yeah totally and there are just no other solutions that do both they keep you completely covered yeah but they allow you to thermoregulate where you need it almost instantly.

And it doesn't have any wires or no, listen.

You guys were crazy inspired because, like I said, it's an adorable idea.

And like people with pets, the little dogs can be under, da-da-da.

Sometimes guys feel hotter, you know, like, and they, you know, they don't want to cover, they can move, and the girl feels colder.

This is like great for everyone.

And like you were saying, for expectant mothers.

It's not just for couples in love.

You guys created something amazing for a lot of people out there.

thank you, yeah.

And we just love that it is just natural, it's easy to use, anybody can use it.

And I think the message as well: like, if you're a couple and you're in love, you should collaborate, you should do it.

I totally believe in power couples.

You know, some people say, like, don't work together, don't do it.

It's like, why not?

Like, you know, if you're feeding off of each other and you can create something incredible together, like you guys are doing, right?

Why not?

It just solidifies what you're doing.

You know, I did discover we're very complimentary to each other in terms of because he's great in math, right?

And I'm more the creative type, right?

So, like, when I told him the idea, he made it for me, right?

Because there's a lot of math involved.

Oh, my God, I'm sure.

He did it.

Guys, congratulations.

This is such a heartwarming story.

And I wish you guys all the success in the world.

I think I told you I can see this brand getting huge.

And from the sleeping dove comfort arm, maybe you can create more products

with the same idea.

It's patent pending.

I know.

And if you guys are watching the video episode and you want to get one, which I highly recommend, by the way, it's sleepingdove.com.

Yes.

And on Insta, it's sleeping dove home.

And you guys can check out the videos.

You guys are on the videos.

You're such a beautiful couple.

Congratulations.

And I think you, you know, I hope anybody out there that was giving up on love

now, they're going to be like, yes, I'm going to give this a world.

I want to say it doesn't matter how old you are.

Truly, truly if you can

yeah i don't think people put like an expiration date on love on finding love right especially i think now that we're more mature we know better what we want right right we know we're not going to make the same mistakes that we did when we were like 20 or 30 right so you're like more like okay i know what i want and i know what i want in a partner right so that's the the positive about it and you guys are smiling like if you're listening to the the the audio episode make sure you go watch the videos because they have like the biggest smile Obviously, you're super happy.

This was amazing, guys.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much.

Get inspired.

Never give up on love.

Sleeping down.

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.