MAJOR LESSONS FROM GUESTS & FROM MY OWN MISTAKES

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and if you do welcome to our community you are entering a real life podcast and i hope you enjoy this solo episode where i am going to do a wrap-up of the lessons the messages the most important key points that i feel i learned from my guests during the past three years that i've been doing this and also a lot of lessons that i have learned from my personal mistakes so i hope you guys enjoy it

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Okay, here we go.

So, most of you guys know I've been doing Cat on the Lose now for a little over three years.

And in the course of these three years, not only have I learned so, so much and I've changed so much,

I had some amazing guests and some not so amazing guests and some big surprises.

And I always try to round up and listen to the episodes again.

And I always ask myself, what is the biggest lesson that we can take from this conversation?

So, today I I just picked a few points that I think are so key and so important from some of my favorite guests ever.

And I'm going to give you guys a little bit of behind the scenes of other stuff that I didn't love so much.

Because the interesting thing about doing a podcast, when you invite someone to be interviewed or when someone approaches me and says, oh, I want to be on Cat on the Loose, we never know how it's going to turn out.

One thing is like when you look at their work on online online and social media, la la la.

But another thing is when you actually meet them and when you start talking to them.

Some of my guests turn out to be an incredible surprise.

Like I seriously didn't expect that the interviews were going to be so great and they turn out to be amazing.

And

the opposite is also true.

Some guests that I've had and I thought, oh my God, this is going to be so incredible.

I am so, so looking forward to talking to this person.

Turn out to be some of the biggest disappointments in my career and my life.

So, I will definitely tell you guys all about it.

And I hope if you have not listened to the episodes, go back and listen to them because no matter what,

disappointing or not, they're always a lot of fun and always very interesting conversations, even if you don't agree with the guests or whatever it is that we're saying, because we don't always have to agree, right?

But it maybe makes you think about their points of of view.

So, here we go.

I'm going to start with the number one most downloaded episode ever.

And 1 million percent, she's on my top three favorite guests, favorite people in my life that I ever spoke with.

Tracy Tudor.

I tried to get Tracy on the show for the longest time, and she finally agreed to do it.

She is first, even before I tell you the points of our conversation that are important, I have to say, and I said that on her episode, for those of you guys who don't know her, Tracy is an extremely successful luxury real estate agent here in LA.

She's part of a TV show on Bravo called Million Dollar Listing.

She's the only woman on the main cast of the show.

She's incredibly successful.

She is a best-selling author.

I love her book, Fear is a Four Letter Word.

It's a really, really fun read, incredibly inspiring.

And I was always looking at her Instagram because she inspires me.

She looks so beautiful.

She takes incredible care of herself and she's very, very successful in her career.

And she's a class act, which I

love about people because I try to be the same.

She showed up, not only she showed up on time, she showed up 10 minutes earlier for our interview, which I think is incredible because living in la

most people are always late they always come up with excuses why they're late and i'm never late because i don't like knowing that people are waiting for me so when i show up early and tracy was right there looking fantastic gorgeous with a huge smile on her face ready to chat ready to rock and roll super open about everything about work about the show about behind the scenes about her divorce about her new relationship with her much younger boyfriend she was so raw and so real and so honest.

It was one of the best, most incredible conversations I've ever had.

So, if you guys have not listened to the Tracy Tudor episode, please listen to it during this long weekend because she is insanely inspiring and so, so nice, and so real, and so honest about everything.

And her interview is filled, filled with great advice,

great points,

great tips about career in general.

And so many things stick to my mind that she said.

But one that I guess I really relate to, and it always encourages me to have an amazing day and follow my dreams.

When she talks about being fearless, and I think that's key when you're trying to build something.

So many people stay stuck in jobs that they don't love, in relationships that they're they're not completely happy with, because they're so afraid of what's next.

And I am a lot like Tracy in the way that I am fearless.

I love not knowing, and I love just jumping with everything I have towards the next thing that I want to do in my life, work, career, because I think you're always going to get the best results if you are fearless.

And that's what Tracy says.

She's like, you know, I was always, always that way.

I was never afraid of anything.

I love just going for it.

And I think that's the number one take of the interview, that you need to learn in a way how to be fearless and literally go and embrace all the changes, all the chances that life

gives you.

Because so many people just literally die unfulfilled and sad and frustrated because they are afraid.

So if you're out there listening and you're stuck in any kind of situation, whether it's professional, whether it's a personal, in a relationship, in a shitty relationship, you know what?

Life is so fucking short.

We keep saying that over and over again, but it is.

Just go for it because you know what?

Something fantastic might be waiting for you right there that you might be afraid of trying.

So don't settle.

Don't be afraid.

Just literally go for it.

And I highly recommend you guys read her book and listen to the interview because Tracy is absolutely one of the most inspiring inspiring women I ever, ever, ever had the honor to meet and talk with in my entire life.

The next person that I love, love interviewing so much, I actually had him twice on Catandaloos, is award-winning actor and transformational coach, Ricardo Chavez.

He's a dear, dear friend.

We've been friends for so long.

And Ricardo is for sure one of the most inspiring, intelligent people I ever met in my life.

We have two episodes with Ricardo.

And again, he's so raw and so honest and so real in our conversations that I love, love, love, love, love talking to him.

Ricardo has been in the acting business for decades.

He's very successful in Latin America, becoming more and more successful, more well-known here in LA.

And he says one thing that also stuck with me that a lot of people, no matter what you want to do in life, but even when we talk about acting or whatever your goal is, they think it's easy, and that's like one of the biggest mistakes.

So, for example, a lot of people come to LA and they're like, Oh, I'm going to be an actor, and I am so talented, and I am so great, and that's it.

And then, as time goes by, and months turn into a year, one year turns into a few years, and they realize, Oh my god, this is not as easy as I thought,

they get so frustrated, and so depressed, and lose hope, and give up.

And what Ricardo says that I never forget is you really need to keep going.

You need to believe in yourself at the very, very, very core.

You need to look at yourself in the mirror every single day, no matter what happens, no matter what difficulty life throws at you, no matter what you're going through, you need to believe in yourself and find the inner warrior.

And I love that he uses this word warrior all the time because we all have it.

And most of us forget about it or we don't even know that we have it.

So whatever your goal is or your fight that you're fighting, it doesn't have to be related to acting.

If you want to get a better job or in a better relationship or lose weight or change careers or start a business, of course it's going to be hard.

course it's going to be an uphill battle.

And us, me and Ricardo in the entertainment industry, being artists, we say that all the time.

It's not going to be overnight success, but keep going, keep going.

No matter what is happening to you, don't give up because every baby step is one step that you're going ahead towards actually finding your dream and fulfilling it.

Ricardo is incredibly, incredibly inspiring.

I recommend you guys check out his work.

I think his website, yeah, it's ricardochavez.com.

On Insta, it's Ricardo Chavez with a Z33.

He puts a lot of blogs, a lot of inspirational messages out there.

And other than being an actor, like I said, he is an inspirational coach.

He coaches people all over the world how to find the inner warrior, how to not lose hope, how to believe in your dreams and keep going for it.

So I love, love talking to him.

We have two episodes, and our conversations are always, always, always amazing.

So one episode that I loved so much, and these people are not even famous, I interviewed a married couple.

They've been married for 14 years.

They became dear, dear, dear friends.

The episode is called Marriage Should Always Be This Hot.

And this is why I love this episode.

I think most of us would love nothing more.

than find a partner and have a long-lasting relationship where you can tell each other everything.

everything.

You can do everything together.

You can share all your fantasies and desires without having to do anything behind the partner's back, without having to cheat, without having to lie.

And this couple.

Talk about major, major couple goals because this is exactly what they do.

They've been together for 14 years.

They've been through thick and thin.

They've been to hell and back.

Now they're crazy successful.

And to this day

they are dating each other they're madly in love they are very adventurous when it comes to sex and they have no problem sharing everything that they do all kinds of tips how to spice it up so it's very interesting because in their case the woman she

is also bisexual.

She likes girls, but she's happily married.

Of course, she adores her husband and they they have hot, hot sex.

But as the years went by, the husband is like, you know what?

Whatever makes my wife happy.

So many times they bring other girls into the mix to make the woman happy and to make them happy.

I'm not saying that's what you have to do, but the point is, it is always so much more fun if you can actually openly talk to your partner and get to that point in your relationship that you can tell each other every single thing that you want to do together, what your fantasies are, and share it together.

They've done all kinds of fun adventures together.

They've done threesomes with girls, they've done threesomes with guys, they've done everything

you name it.

And it keeps spicing up their relationship.

And if you see them, they're like literally two peas in a pod.

They don't lie to each other.

They are insanely loyal to each other.

They have 1 million percent access to each other's cell phones, no bullshit.

Everything they do is with each other, never ever behind each other's backs.

And I think that is so advanced mentally because as we all know, so many couples, first of all, they're embarrassed.

Like they're embarrassed.

telling each other oh this is what turns me on this is something that i want to experiment with this is something that i really want to do because they have this fear of rejection or they have this fear of being judged so if somehow you can open up to your partner and get to the point years and years and years later, like, wow, this is my life partner.

And we have insanely fantastic sex, bond, friendship trips, vacation, chemistry.

We are willing to experiment with each other.

If you can get to this point, I think, you know what?

You won the lottery.

And for sure, that's my goal.

And I think most of us out there, and they give us pointers and tips on how

do you actually get there how do you talk to each other like if you're in a newer relationship in a newer marriage or if you're dating someone how do you get to the point that you can actually tell each other every freaking thing and explore together to build up a relationship to the point that they're at over a decade later.

So this is a really fun, incredibly organic and raw episode.

We recorded in their hotel room when they were visiting LA in the morning over mimosas, and they're super sweet, super adorable, and very open about everything.

It's from, I think, season four or five, but it's there.

It's called Marriage Should Always Be This Hot.

It was recorded, yeah, it was recorded exactly a year ago.

So, season five,

May 3rd, 2022.

Really, really, really cool episode.

Now, same thing.

I have asked all the dating experts, all the matchmakers that I've ever interviewed, what they think about dating apps and how do they feel about it.

Because I personally think it's a shit show.

I think it's super sad how so many people out there

are literally looking at it like we look at DoorDash, you know, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.

They don't take it seriously.

It's quantity over quality.

It makes dating like a shit show.

Yes, of course.

There are a lot of positive about it that we keep repeating.

You will meet somebody that otherwise would never cross your path.

But on the other hand, the negative is that I think it just made dating so superficial, so accessible, that you see grown-ass men in their 40s, in their 50s, in their 60s, instead of literally paying attention to one person and saying, yes, I'm going to focus on this person.

I am so lucky that the universe brought me this person.

I am going to appreciate this person.

They can't resist temptation and they keep endlessly scrolling because, like my ex-boyfriend said last year, it massages their ego.

Like, how freaking childish is that?

If you need your ego massaged and you're like a grown-ass man in your 50s and you need your ego massaged with a dating app, I think you need to analyze your behavior and that there is something a little deeper going on because adults massage their egos in other ways, not by not appreciating who they're with and endlessly scrolling on dating apps.

But this is my take.

I want all of us to remember: even if you had many, many bad experiences with dating apps, like I know a lot of us have, my single girlfriends get so frustrated, complain about dating apps all the time.

Don't give up, don't ever give up on finding love, ever.

Even if someone broke your heart, even if you date all the assholes out there, unfortunately, all of us have come across a player now and again.

No matter what,

whatever happened to you, keep going because the right person is out there also trying to find you.

And yes, if you're crazy busy and you don't go out every single night to events, to parties, dating apps can definitely increase your chances of finding the right person for you.

And I'm going to give you some real amazing examples from people that I actually interviewed that found the love of their lives on dating apps.

So Nicole Moore is the super successful love coach.

I've had Nicole on the show several times and Nicole met her husband on Tinder and he's the nicest guy in the world.

They've been married for a long time.

They have kids and they lived happily ever after and they met on Tinder.

I met, I interviewed another expert,

very famous, crazy successful, the millionaire matchmaker, Patty Stanger.

And she met her boyfriend on Tinder and she tells the whole story about how they met.

And first, she didn't want to go on a date or him, la la la on our interview.

That was also very organic, very crazy, chaotic interview during lunch at the Soho house because that's the only window she had.

She's crazy busy.

I want to drive around the show forever.

She's like, okay, let's do it.

So she's eating and talking at the same time.

But again, this is real life.

So between not interviewing her and interviewing her during lunch, I was like, let's rock and run, go for it.

And she tells the story.

She gives her opinion about dating apps about what you should put on your profile or not why she thinks it's okay to lie about your age on dating profiles so if you guys have not listened to the patty stenger interview go listen because she's very insightful and very sweet and i also interviewed amy amy nobley she's a very successful relationship coach in new york and she met her fiancé on bumble and she went through a divorce la

same thing she was starting her life over And guess what?

She met her fiancé on Bumble, and she gives incredible great pointers on dating profiles, how to improve your dating profiles, and she talks about all things Bumble, Amy.

Nobody go listen to that episode because that's really cool as well.

So, see, there is hope out there for everyone who is still interested in using dating apps.

So, don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever lose hope.

So, one of my favorite and craziest episodes ever that I did last year in November is the plunger technique.

And I will tell you guys in short, but I will say, first of all, it works.

It's true.

So I knew this lady and she told me that,

and I agree, most men are very shy approaching women in public.

And it's so true.

I don't know about you guys, but like here in LA in Beverly Hills, I go to bars all the time.

I go to events all the time with my girlfriends.

And so many times guys are literally sitting there, like staring at us and everything.

And they're shy about approaching us.

So this lady that I was talking to, she said, you know what?

There is a technique that I teach because she teaches dating classes, coaching.

She coaches people learning how to learn how to date.

She said, if you walk around with a strange object,

men.

will come and approach you because they're going to ask what the hell are your girls doing so she was like let's go for it let's walk around the the busiest bars in Beverly Hills, carrying a strange object.

And sure enough, strange like hell, because she picks a plunger.

So me and this lady, we go

walking around Beverly Hills around Happy Hour Time in November.

Everything crazy busy.

And we look very beautiful, all dressed up, ready to go with this plunger.

And sure enough, Everybody on the streets and the bars approaches us like, hey, what's going on?

And it's 1 1 million percent a great, great icebreaker.

Couples ask about it, guys ask about it, and nobody, that's the funny thing because it is crazy, right?

You have to have the balls to carry around the plunger or anything weird for that matter.

It could be a vase, it could be a microphone, it could be any weird object that doesn't belong with whatever it is that you're doing.

But sure enough, nobody was like, oh, you girls are crazy.

Everybody laughed,

had fun, made jokes.

Everybody thought it's like such an icebreaker.

And sure enough, we go inside like the busiest happy hour bar here in Beverly Hills called Wally's.

And the bar was packed.

And tons and tons of guys come and approach us and start talking.

And one of these guys, like the first guy that comes talk to us, and he's like talking, talking, laughing, having a great time, offered to buy us a drink.

He buys me a glass of wine, got my number.

And that same night invited me.

Like, oh, let's go meet at another bar and another bar and another bar.

And that was back in November.

And yeah, so it works.

We've been on many, many, many dates.

We've been casually dating on and off.

But the point is, even if he's not the guy for me.

It works.

You guys will have a lot of fun and you will meet a lot of people.

And I recommend that for guys too.

If you're a guy out there listening, oh my God, and I'm so shy.

A lot of my guy friends say that.

Oh, I see this beautiful girl at the bar.

So many times guys are shy because they fear rejection.

So grab something weird out of your office and go to a happy hour holding it and just break the ice.

And if somebody comes and asks you, why are you holding a plunger?

Why are you holding a vase?

Why are you holding whatever, a microphone?

I don't know, whatever the hell it is.

Tell them, well, because I listened on this episode that it's such an icebreaker and I'm a little shy and I don't know how to to people.

Tell the truth.

They're going to laugh and you never know.

You might meet a lot of amazing friends.

You might get a date.

You might make new business contacts and it breaks the ice 1 million percent.

So this episode, the plunger episode, is a video episode on Spotify.

So go out there.

check it out it's from last year in november because you are most definitely guaranteed to laugh and it is true the technique of carrying around a bizarre object to flirt, make new friends, and maybe even grab some dates totally works.

So, I highly recommend you guys: don't be that shy and go for it and give it a try with a buddy, get it done.

Now, another guest that was really, really important to me, and I know so many of you out there go through the same situation.

I interviewed an expert in narcissistic behavior.

That's all she does.

She helps people get rid of narcissists, get through the trauma of dating narcissists, of being in relationships with narcissists.

Her name is Margie Bolden.

She lives in Australia and she's incredibly insightful and she's so knowledgeable about the subject.

I wasn't sure if I was dating a narcissist, this guy that I dated last year, but he showed all signs of narcissistic behavior.

But at the time, I didn't notice or I didn't know how to identify it.

And I'm not, like I said, again, I'm not a doctor.

I'm not an expert.

I don't know if that's his case.

But when I talk to Margie, she takes us step by step all the red flags that you need to pay attention when you're dating someone to make sure that you are not getting yourself tangled up with a narcissist.

Because you know what?

Narcissist

will not change.

And it's a very complex behavior

that I definitely think affects our lives.

I cannot imagine anyone being able to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship with a narcissist because it's all about themselves.

It doesn't matter how fabulous you are.

It doesn't matter how beautiful you are.

It doesn't matter how thin or how tall or whatever it is that they want you to be.

you are never going to be good enough for a narcissist.

So if you feel that you are in a relationship or that you may or may not be dating a narcissist, that or if you want to try to get rid of a relationship with a narcissist, I highly recommend this episode with Margie Bowden.

It's called narcissistic behavior because she's very, very, very, very insightful about the subject.

And I know so many people out there go through this situation and they don't know where to get help.

Actually, I'm sorry, guys, the episode is called Dissecting Narcissist with Margie Bolden.

And we dropped it October 25th, 2022.

She is absolutely incredible.

So go there and check it out if you feel the situation that you need to handle or deal with.

One of my favorite guests ever for sure

was Max Lugavare.

If you guys never heard of Max, hurry, hurry, hurry, and go check out his work because he is definitely genius.

He has a podcast called the genius life he's a new york times best-selling author of a book called genius foods he has a bunch of books he's a nexus hollywood contributor and he is insanely intelligent 1 million percent sure i candy so you guys can go on my instagram and look at the videos but he's so insightful about how we can eat better in order to live better and obviously that makes a gigantic difference in our lifestyle in our self-love, and in our relationships, for sure.

I wanted to interview Max because I am seriously a huge admirer of his work.

Big shout out to my bestie, Maj de Bahamin, owner and CEO of Luxure Concierge Company Privé LA, because she's friends with Max.

They went on a few dates, so the stories are really funny because it didn't work out, but they remained friends.

And she made the bridge to bring Max to Caron de Luz.

And we had a really, really fun episode that Marj de co-hosted with me.

And Max not only is incredibly intelligent, but he's very open.

So I think it was a new one for him, but it was crazy fun because he opened up about his dating style, why he's still single, because he's hot as fuck and he's so successful.

And the challenges in dating and how he deals with life, how he lives his life.

He gives pointers about nutrition, about living better.

It's incredibly, incredibly, incredibly insightful and very, very inspiring.

And I'm never going to forget this one phrase that he said at the very beginning of the podcast, because we were linking like, why is a sex, dating, and relationships podcast having a top nutrition expert?

And I said, well, I think that's a no-brainer because I think the way we love ourselves and the way we take care of ourselves, our mind and our body are immediately related to how we relate to other people and it affects our relationships.

And he said, yes, he agrees completely.

And he used this phrase, you have to take care of the base first.

You have to take care of yourself.

If you don't take care of the base, you're going to fail at all the other relationships that you have.

And I completely agree with him.

And I think...

Most of us are guilty of that when we are in a relationship.

I've done it during a very long, painful marriage.

We forget about ourselves.

We put the partner first, the stresses, everyday life, work, la la la la la la, and put, we put ourselves on the back burner.

We stop worrying about our health.

We stop worrying about what matters to us.

We stop worrying about what we eat on a daily basis.

Many, many people forget, like about working out, forget about how important it is to look at yourself in the mirror and say, you know what, I love what I see.

And Max is completely, completely, completely right.

You need to stop everything and say, you know what?

I'm going to take care of the base.

The base needs to be strong.

My health, my mind, my body, my soul.

So, if you guys don't know his work, please go check it out because he's so cool, so intelligent, so insightful.

I love his podcast.

Obviously, his guests are top, top, top-notch experts in the field of nutrition, mind, body.

You're gonna love it.

And check out, check him out on Instagram.

Yeah, Max Lugavir, L-U-G-A-V-E-R-E.

For sure, one of the most intelligent brain X conversations that I ever had.

I'm a major sapiosexual.

I love talking to intelligent people.

He's fantastic.

And it's a really, really fun,

great episode that we published a few months ago.

Yeah, March 2nd.

We were celebrating our third anniversary with New York Times best-selling author, Max Luge Avery.

Go check it out.

He's incredible.

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Now,

I don't, a lot of you guys know, but probably the new ones do not know.

I was married for 14 years to an alcoholic.

The more money he made, the more he drank.

And things got worse and worse and worse.

And I was severely, severely verbally abused for many, many years.

And sometimes I was physically abused.

And it took me many, many years to gather the courage to leave.

and to understand that it's not okay to be abused.

Interestingly enough, I have interviewed several

experts in recovery,

life coaches, etc., that are

recovered alcoholics, recovered drug addicts, and they're very, very open talking about it.

And I love that because

I know many people listen and they're going through a situation, either they're married to an alcoholic or they're married or dating to someone that does drugs or too much alcohol, na, na, na, na, and they don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I have to say, in Anthony's case, my husband, unfortunately, the end was very, very sad.

He ended up dying.

He chose to die.

He didn't want to get treated.

However, these guys that I interview prove

that you can 1 million percent turn your life around if you choose to do so and if you have the willpower.

You can do it.

A great example is Randy Spelling.

Randy is the son of iconic television producer Aaron Spelling.

He grew up in the heart of Hollywood, in one of the most famous families in Hollywood.

I can only imagine how he must have been growing up in the spotlight with all the money, the luxury, television, na-na-na-na-na.

And yes, he went down a dark road of drinking, of drinking too much, of addiction, na-na-na.

And he turned his life around.

It's a very interesting interview.

He became a life coach.

He left Hollywood.

Now he's happily married.

He has kids.

He's a very peaceful, very chill guy.

It was an adorable interview.

And he's a perfect example of a happy ending because, yes, so many people here that get tangled up with drugs and alcohol in Hollywood end up dying.

And we know a lot of celebrities that ended up dying.

So I really loved doing the Randy Spelling interview.

Then I interviewed a guy named Adam Jablin.

Now he's a recovery mentor.

And he talks about being an alcoholic, battling addiction, and how he was able to overcome it.

And now he's so happy helping other people.

Another one, Josh Berglin, that, oh my God, went to hell and back in the worlds of drugs, self-destruction, going to jail, going to prison, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Same thing.

Now he's a very successful career coach life coach mentor very very very beautiful interview so if you are in any situation for me i was never into drugs or alcohol but yeah i was married to someone that was an alcoholic so if you are and you want to seek help and you want to listen to something inspiring go check out these episodes randy spelling adam jablin josh berglin because they are very inspiring very insightful and there is always, always a light at the end of the tunnel.

And anyone can start their life over if you choose to do so.

That's the key, right?

You have to want to start it over.

A little behind the scenes now.

So way back in 2021, I did an episode called Mean Girls because I had a really cool group of girlfriends.

We used to call ourselves the Soho Girls because we were all members of the Soho house and we were all single.

And once Anthony died and my life turned upside down, I lost everything, la la la, long story.

You guys can go way back there and listen to the episodes.

These girls started ostracizing me, being mean to me with the queen bee of them,

who was my best friend.

And I was heartbroken and I was shocked.

First of all, because we're adults.

We're not teenagers in high school.

So I cannot imagine grown-ass women.

They're all very successful, all very beautiful, treating a friend the way they treated me in for sure the hardest time of my life.

But also because I am a huge believer in women joining forces and being supportive of each other and not being competition with each other.

Every single project I do, everything I do, all my work is about women empowerment.

So when that happened to me, I was really heartbroken.

And I did the episode and I guess they listened to me and instead of like apologizing, say, oh my God, we did not,

they stopped talking to me altogether, which is fine.

That was a long time ago.

So fast forward,

there was one girl that I was very, very excited.

to interview.

I, a friend that we have in common, did the bridge for me.

I met him at the Soul House and said, oh my God, you should interview this girl.

La La La.

She has a very successful podcast in New York, a lot more successful than your podcast.

You guys should talk.

I think it would be amazing if you connect.

So this person does an email introducing us.

And I said, hi, yes, I would love to do a pod swap with you.

I would love to talk to you.

Congratulations on your success.

And on the email, she was super, super, super sweet she was like oh my god yeah that sounds amazing congratulations on yours let's do it for sure so she picks a date and that was last year so she says let's do a pod swap on november 1st so i'm like so excited and so we planned this episode like two months before

so i'm counting the days until November 1st.

Oh my God, I can't believe it.

I'm going to do a pod swap with Lindsay.

I can't believe believe it.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

I am so excited.

So, I'm communicating with her via email.

So, my team designs an art with both our photos there that she sends me.

She sends me her logo.

Everything is there.

And I send her the art to approve.

And she's like, Yes, that's great.

I love it.

Let's do it.

So she's being really, really, really nice to me.

And I'm literally like a little kid in a candy star.

Oh, I can't believe I'm going to do an episode with Lindsay.

I love her podcast.

It's so adorable.

It's so successful.

And because she's in New York and I'm in LA, we had decided, let's do comparisons.

Let's compare East Coast dating with West Coast dating.

Is it true that it's harder in New York or are men more asses in New York or is it easier here?

No, no, we were going to compare notes and talk about it, our experiences.

Plus, she's married and I'm not.

So I thought we felt there was a lot we were going to talk about.

I even thought about flying to New York to do it in person.

At the end, I couldn't do it, but I was super, super excited.

So, November 1st comes, and there I am.

I'm going to talk to Lindsay, and she shows up on camera.

And she,

the minute she shows up, okay, she's like, Oh, by the way,

is it okay if we only do your episode today?

Because

I basically backed up and I am so busy, and we have so many episodes recorded.

So, I'm not going to do a pod swap.

And this is literally one second before we're going to start recording what we had previously planned.

So, I'm like, yeah, sure,

let's go for it.

So, I'm like, I'm going to make the best of it.

So, I start recording the episode.

So, now it's not a pod swap anymore.

I'm only interviewing her for mine.

She had the excitement of a cucumber.

And I kept trying and trying and asking questions.

And she was literally sitting in her kitchen.

She just got out of bed, whatever she was doing, which is fine because I'm always very organic.

But nothing in the world I asked her made her show any kind of excitement.

I couldn't get her in the conversation.

I was getting insanely frustrated.

And you guys can go check it out.

It's the shortest episode I ever did.

It got to a point that usually I do two halves and I do a break.

No, no, no, no.

I couldn't engage Lindsay to save my life.

And you can go listen for yourself.

Everything that I asked her, she was like, yeah,

no, yeah, no, uh-huh, sure.

I mean, honestly, I cannot ever finally, yeah, I gave up and I was like, thank you.

It was amazing to have you here.

Bye.

It was so short.

But honestly, and this is why I'm finally talking about it after all this time because it really really really hurt me because this is what i'm gonna say if she decided with her team that i wasn't good enough or big enough or famous enough to do a pod swap with her podcast it's completely 1 million percent their right to decide that i think it would have been respectful to say the least and ethical and kind to let me know

before

we were actually going to record it.

She should have sent me a message, an email, say, hey, Kat, listen, I'll be happy to be on yours, but I don't want you to be on mine.

We're not doing a swap anymore.

She totally caught me off guard.

So I can never imagine doing that to anybody.

Doesn't matter how big or small they are.

I interview people with...

much, much smaller podcasts than mine.

I interview people that are much more successful than mine.

I interview celebrities.

I interview people that nobody knows.

It doesn't really matter who who they are.

My rule is: I treat everybody with the same kindness and respect and attention that I like to be treated.

So this was really, really surprising to me.

And then when she's being interviewed,

how about showing a little more enthusiasm, you know, answering the questions or trying to jump on the conversation?

Nothing in the world engaged this girl.

So if you don't feel like doing, if you don't feel like participating, if you're not going to be there, why do it in the first place?

And this is why I talked about the Mean Girls episode.

It threw me back in my mind, like, wow, I'm really dealing with a mean girl again.

Is she really thinking we are competition because we are two girls talking about the world of dating relationships?

And I didn't see that at all.

I saw, like, let's, you know, join forces, let's compare notes, let's make this fun and exciting for our audiences.

My audience is worldwide.

My audience is not just la just new york and probably hers is too so i was super sad i was like oh my god super disappointed sure enough it's one of the least downloaded episodes ever the shortest episode ever and i never even said anything i thought about writing her an email and i i knew she was not going to text me and say, hey, let's record an episode.

Obviously, she blew me off, which is fine.

But I think even when you're blowing somebody off, you should have the kindness to give them fair warning.

And I don't know if you guys agree with me or not.

But for sure, this was one of the people I was more excited in my life to be interviewing.

And one of the biggest disappointments.

The lesson to me is

don't be a fucking mean girl.

Seriously.

The world is so difficult already.

Sorry, guys.

Relationships are so difficult.

Phoenix was behaving.

Obviously, he's not behaving anymore.

On that note, I'm going to take a two-minute break and I'm going to come back to talk about my lessons, the mistakes I made in the world of sex, dating, and relationships.

I'll be right back.

This is a really fun cat on the loose.

And now Phoenix is going crazy.

I also want to say thank you to Privé LA, one of the top luxury lifestyle concierge services in the world.

Thank you for supporting the podcast.

Thank you for supporting my work.

Private is absolutely amazing.

They offer luxury-curated experiences.

Hard to get reservations in hotels, restaurants.

If you're going to go on a summer trip, they help you plan everything.

They have access to every single event you can dream of in the world, from concerts to Formula One races, Kentucky Derby, the Confilm Festival, you name it, they do it.

So check it out.

Their Insta is underscore Privé

P-R-I-V-E-E-L-A

and

website privela.com.

P-R-I-V-E-E-L-A.com.

Thank you guys.

I love you.

Okay, here we go again.

Let's hope Phine behaves.

And not only have Phoenix today, I have little Jimi Hendrix,

who is a little adorable dog that belongs to my dear friend Doug.

My friend is out of town.

I'm pet sitting.

So it's very chaotic, as you guys know, but we try to multitask and get everything done.

Before you ask me, the episode with Lindsay, her, her podcast is called We Met at Acme.

So the episode is We Met at Acme, host Lindsay, Matt Siller, East Coast versus West Coast dating.

I published November 1st, like I said.

And yeah, I still published it.

But I'm not going to lie and say that I enjoyed it.

I was super sad, super heartbroken, because I really believe at the end of the day, women should be completely supportive of each other and if you don't want to work with someone it's your right just tell them look this doesn't fit la la la but don't do that like last minute and if you do show up in somebody's podcast if you show up on somebody's anything tv show party lunch dinner nana you know show some respect be nice be kind be courteous i think that's the lesson we should all learn from that

so

now

I told you guys the lessons I think and the takes from my favorite guests and my not so favorite guests, but now I'm going to tell you guys a little bit about mistakes that I made and very, very simple lessons for dating and relationships in general.

I think the top one, and I think women are very guilty of that, but I have to put it out there.

If someone likes you, they will make time for you.

Period.

You know how we always come up with excuses.

Oh, is he going to text me?

Is he going to text me?

Oh, I'm too busy.

Oh, it's work.

Oh, I'm traveling.

I'm doing this.

I'm doing that.

Guess what?

Nobody is too busy to reach out and respond to someone they care about.

So if you are right there, right now listening and sitting by the phone, like so many of us have been guilty of doing, oh, is she going to text back?

Is he going to text back?

Oh, he told me work is keeping him really busy.

No, they're not interested.

Move on.

I learned that as well.

I made that mistake so many times before.

People can be the busiest in this world.

You can be the president of the United States.

We all go to pee, we all go to the bathroom, right?

We all take a coffee break.

We all take a lunch break.

And it literally takes a few seconds to look at your phone.

And if you care about someone, oh my God, I got to send Kat a message.

Oh my God, I got to send John a message, whatever it is.

So I think we need to stop making excuses for people that don't want to communicate with us.

If someone likes you, they will make an effort and they will come to you.

Period.

No excuses.

So, communication is number one.

I think that's the basic of the basic of the basic.

If they're not communicating, you need to move on.

So, next lesson, and I learned that the hard way myself, and it has to do with dating apps that we all use.

Okay, fantastic.

Last year, I was dating a guy that I met on Bumble.

And if you guys follow my episodes, I talked about it several times because he was the first guy I dated ever since Anthony died in 2018 that I thought, wow, okay, this is it.

And he was the one that looked me in the eyes.

time after time after time and said, I'm so happy with you.

I am so happy with this relationship.

We are dating exclusively.

I only want to be with you.

La la la la la la la.

He was all over my life.

We got along insanely insanely well.

You know, when you like the same things, the same hobbies, the same lifestyle, the same music, we had the same goals, the same ethics, everything matches.

Good sex, everything was there.

And he kept reaffirming to me.

He kept reassuring that I'm ready.

I am so ready for a new relationship.

He was married for like whatever, forever, and he was getting divorced, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So he reassured me so much,

so much that I felt, okay, I'm in great hands.

I'm with a strong, secure man that really, really knows what he wants, which is key, right?

We want to feel safe in that relationship.

And I was invested.

I'm like, okay, I'm going to give this a go.

I'm going to give it my all because it's the only way I know how to be in a relationship.

I don't like anything half-ass.

Let's see where it takes us.

Months into it, I find out this guy was still on bumble.

So this is the lesson.

The day I found out,

we were in an exclusive, committed relationship.

He was all over my life.

He knew all my friends.

He was here at my place some weekends.

I was at his place weekends.

We were doing everything couples do, making plans, moving forward, living our life, having a fantastic time.

So, months into it, when I found out he was still on bumble, regardless his excuses like, oh, it's to massage my ego.

Oh, I was married for too long, but I'm still happy, so happy with you, blah, blah, blah.

That day, I should have made it easy for him and said, you know what?

Go keep playing the bumble game, have fun.

I'm withdrawing myself because I am mature enough to know what I want, to dedicate my time and my attention to this one person.

I don't need my ego massaged by so many men telling me how cute I am.

I am ready and mature for this relationship.

He wasn't.

Instead, I listened to his bullshit and we kept dating and dating and dating.

More time goes by.

He finally tells me, oh, I deleted Bumbo and I want to be only with you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

A few weeks later, he called me.

Oops, I changed my mind.

It's not what I want.

And

I don't know what I want.

Goodbye.

Literally broke up a nice, solid, mature, quote unquote, for me relationship over the phone.

So, lesson.

If you're dating someone and you get to the point that you're looking at each other zeits and you say, I really like you.

I really only want to date you.

We're having an amazing time.

We're having great sex.

These are my friends.

These are my colleagues.

Let's go on a business trip together.

Let's be in each other's lives.

Let's make weekend plans.

What do you want to do Friday?

What do you want to do Sunday?

And you find out after all of that, The person you're dating is still

needs to be on a dating app to see what's out there.

They're still scrolling.

They don't respect you.

They don't value the relationship.

They don't care if they lose you or not.

Get the hell out.

Get the hell out.

And all

dating experts agree with me.

If there is no respect, if they don't respect the relationship enough to say, you know what, I'm going to appreciate this person.

I'm going to put my time and effort into this person and see where this goes.

If they're, because like again, a lot of men and women are being mentally immature because of the quantity on the dating apps.

If that's the case with the person you're dating, run, run for the heels because they are not going to appreciate you.

And we all need and deserve somebody who completely appreciates us, who is invested as much as we are, who doesn't need to be scrolling people like they order food on Doardash.

So to me, that's a major lesson.

I never want to make this mistake again.

I never want to be with somebody who's like, oh, I really like her.

She's incredible.

But let me see all the other cute blondes out there because it gives me the ego, a great massage.

Guess what?

Enjoy your massages.

get your ego bigger date as many girls as you want out there i know you're never gonna find another one as fantastic as me as loyal as a great friend as a great partner it's your loss that's the way i see it now and if if you are in the same situation, look at yourself in the mirror, remind yourself how fabulous you are and how you deserve a partner who is completely invested in you and appreciates you and respects you.

The sex conversation.

I'm going to say with exceptions, obviously, but most women to this day are still very, very uptight when it comes to sex, their pleasure, what they like and need in bed.

And I will tell you: if you are not having fantastic sex with your partner, you're becoming roommates, you are going to regret it, or they're going to resent you, or you're going to end up in a miserable, unhappy relationship, or very likely your guy is going to cheat on you.

I know a lot of girls don't want to hear that, but it's the truth.

The number one reason why men cheat is because they are unfulfilled at home.

So, if you're a girl there listening to me, before you judge me, before you call me a whore or anything, I am trying really, really hard to normalize all of us women anywhere in the world feeling comfortable talking about sex with our partners, with ourselves, with whoever it is.

You deserve to have fantastic orgasms.

You deserve to be pleasured in bed.

You deserve to have your fantasies fulfilled.

You deserve to explore your body and anything that brings you pleasure.

This is why I am such a huge advocate of sex toys, because very few of us use sex toys.

Many, many more of us should be using sex toys.

Why?

Because the more you get to know your body, the more you are able to give yourself pleasure, the better you are going to be in bed and the more confident you are going to be talking to your partner about what you want.

And believe me, I was not always like that.

I was in a miserable marriage for 14 years.

We almost did not have sex.

My husband was extremely conservative.

I couldn't even dream of saying the world vibrator and our sex life sucked.

I am literally learning this lesson by doing this podcast for so long, talking to so many experts, getting thousands of messages in the course of three years and figuring it out for myself.

And now I've never felt so content with my body, my sexuality, my pleasure, and whoever it is that I have sex with, my partner, we always have incredible sex because I got to that place.

You need to love your body.

You need to know what gives you pleasure.

And you need to tell your partner.

Having quality sex is so, so key in any relationship.

If you are not, I am begging you, talk to your partner about it.

Listen to a sex coach, listen to a sex therapy.

Do whatever the hell it is that you guys got to do.

Don't make the mistake i made do not stay 14 freaking years or five years or four years or three years any time is too much time to be in any kind of a relationship with shitty sex or almost no sex or almost no pleasure and guys

many times i know you're embarrassed to tell your woman i want to do this i want to do that guess what tell them even if they don't want to do a they might be willing to do b so it's fun it's foreplay sit in a restaurant restaurant and start talking about your fantasies and what you want to do together.

I promise you, I guarantee you, the world would be a much better place if more people had fantastic, fulfilling sex lives.

And that goes for with a partner or alone.

When I'm alone and single, again, I use my sex toys 10 million times because if I give myself pleasure, if I give myself orgasms, I'm a much better person.

I'm in a much better mood.

And it's scientifically proven.

So you can Google it.

I'm not a doctor.

I interviewed many sex experts in the past.

You guys can go there and look at all the sex episodes.

Seek your sexual pleasure.

Don't be embarrassed.

Don't be shy about it.

Okay, this is a really important one.

And obviously, I learned from making this mistake.

Do not change your life for someone else that you just started dating.

Very, very likely it will backfire and they will not appreciate it.

In my case, as most of you know, I'm insanely busy.

I run a company, I do the podcast, I do acting, I do modeling, I'm a dog mom.

I have a million things going on any given day.

When I met this guy that I was dating last year, and I thought, okay, this is it.

We're in a committed, exclusive relationship, and we're having such an amazing time together.

And he was such a taipei personality.

He loved planning, planning dates, planning things for us to do, planning our schedule.

Every single time he would ask me to do something, I would say yes.

I was always available.

So, like on the weekend, if he said, Oh, come over to my house, I'd be like, Sure.

Oh, I'm coming over to your house, sure.

Like Tuesday night, sometimes he would call me last minute, like, Oh, do you want to go to dinner?

It doesn't matter how tired or busy I was.

I would literally drop everything and say yes.

Because in my mind, I was thinking, Oh, he's my man, he's my guy, I want to make him happy, I want to please him.

So, I would give up doing a lot of things to make time for him.

And sure enough, he didn't appreciate it.

He didn't understand it.

Long into the relationship, one day he asked me, Oh, what were you doing on the weekends before me?

And I was thinking, like, duh, are you kidding me?

I was going on dates, going out with my friends, going to events, working on my businesses, doing all kinds of stuff, traveling, having fun.

Now I'm giving up these things to be with you.

Why is that a mistake?

And pretty much every dating expert agrees with me.

Because when you're with somebody new they should learn how to value you they should know that you are going to be one more thing in their schedule that you're not going to open up your entire schedule for them as i did and i know a lot of us do a lot of my single girlfriends do the same because otherwise they're not going to appreciate you so there's a big difference between if you're a guy or you're a girl if you say let's go on a date friday Yes, let's go on a date Friday.

You pencil it in.

That's a big difference from doing what I was doing.

Just say, Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Because again, months and months into it, instead of my guy saying, Wow, she's so amazing, despite the fact that she's so busy, she's always making time for me.

He was like, Oh, she's so available.

What's going on in her life?

Obviously, in my case, maybe he was a little too clueless.

I'm not going to say dumb, but obviously, he was clueless to notice how hectic, feeling, and rich my life is.

But in most cases, I agree with the experts.

Let's meet someone, let's pencil them into our schedule, let's make room for them for certain times, for certain events, but don't change the core of everything that you love doing and your activities and your commitments for that person.

I agree.

They need to learn how to appreciate our time.

Our time is the most valuable thing we have, and they need to learn how to appreciate our efforts and everything that we put into making room for them in our lives.

One really important one, and I was just talking about it with one of my single girlfriends last night when we were having dinner:

geography.

And what do I mean by that?

Make sure you and the person you are going to date are on the same page when it comes to geography, where you guys are going to live.

Because it honestly doesn't matter.

Let's say I live in LA and I love, love LA.

I I love Beverly Hills.

This is home to me.

I made the mistake before when I met my husband, the headquarters of his business were in Florida.

And I knew I didn't like Miami.

I knew I didn't want to live in Miami.

I really thought Miami was a place to visit.

And slowly but surely, I ended up agreeing.

He convinced me.

We moved that.

We would spend like 70% of our time there.

And as the years went by, I realized that was not what I wanted.

That was not home to me.

And that's what I was talking to my girlfriend about.

You can meet a guy and he can be the nicest guy in the world, but if you're set in terms of where you want to live, whatever your city is, if you live in LA and you absolutely love LA and you meet a guy that lives in Missouri, so to speak, whatever.

If you know the guy is never going to move here and vice versa, why in the world would you even start it?

I see so many couples.

I get stories about that.

I get messages about that all the time.

Oh, but I really like her.

Oh, but we can do long distance no no no let's be honest long distance might be really romantic and fun in the beginning but it wears off with time nobody is going to live on a plane coming back and forth back and forth back and forth and one day if you guys really love each other you're gonna want to move on right move in together get married get engaged i don't know so make sure the geography is negotiable or if it's non-negotiable, you need to find somebody that agrees with where you should live i made this mistake with my husband i will never make the mistake again now that i came back to california this is home i tell all the guys that i'm dating i love traveling i love love love i can travel all year long 10 million times i can live off of a suitcase but home is here to me so if you feel that way about any given place I think both people need to be on the same page.

Now, if you are open to moving, that's a whole other conversation then yes if you meet a fantastic guy and he lives in missouri in st louis whatever and you're willing to move there you're willing to uh travel there and go see his world totally fine but otherwise seriously i i completely agree with what most experts say the person you're trying to date needs to be geographically desirable because if it becomes a huge barrier a huge hurdle the relationship is just not going to survive.

So it's better to figure out these details at the very beginning before you actually build up any kind of mental and emotional connection.

So the pillars, right?

Geography, how much sex do you both like, your values, your ethics, your lifestyle, all these basic things are a great idea if you figure it out at the very beginning of the relationship.

And I know it sounds silly saying it out loud because we should be like, duh, that's a given.

But so many of us make the same mistake and we overlook these things.

One person is super active, the other guy is a college potato, or one person likes going out every night, and the other person likes waking up at 6 a.m.

All these little things, if you don't line them up in the beginning, it's very, very likely, like 99.9%, that the relationship is going to fail.

So let's try to be a little more thoughtful so we avoid a lot of suffering towards the end.

And now, before I let you guys go, for me, by far, the most important lesson I have learned through this journey of doing cat on the loose for three years is that, and again, it almost sounds absurd that we have to say that, but it's something that still so many people don't do.

You need to love yourself first.

No other person on the entire planet is worthy of you forgetting about how much you deserve to be loved.

And for me, it took me such a long time to get to this place to understand that.

And when I was in an abusive marriage, I think only people that have been in abusive relationships understand how difficult it is, because when you hear time and time and time again that you're a piece of shit, that you're worthless, etc., etc., you start believing that.

And it's such a long process of looking at yourself in the mirror and say, you know what?

I deserve to be treated with kindness.

I deserve to be treated with respect.

I deserve to be told by my partner how amazing and wonderful and fantastic I am.

I deserve to have amazing sex.

I deserve all of these things.

And it's such a journey that when you get there, it's the best feeling in the world.

And today, I realize that the first love affair, the first and foremost, like Max Lugabri said, like all the experts say, you need to be completely in love with yourself.

I see so many girls out there, they're desperate, desperate to find a partner.

Desperation is never a good idea because the other party will smell it.

They will notice.

And usually, if you're so desperate to find someone, it's because you're lacking something on yourself.

And I always use this phrase, I don't know where I heard it, but I remember it for many, many years.

There is a huge difference between wanting a partner and needing a partner.

You need to fulfill your own needs.

You need to fulfill your happiness.

You need to love your life.

You need to love your work.

You need to love your friends.

You need to love your lifestyle.

You need to love your body.

You need to love everything that you feed your mind.

And then you are much, much more susceptible to finding the right person for you because that's the energy you're going to send out there.

And today, as we are mourning the death of Tina Turner, who I think most of you agree was one of the most fantastic, incredible artists in the world.

I was madly in love with her ever since I was a little kid.

Uh, she used the phrase that I am using now as she passed, and I think it's so profound.

And I never thought one day I would use for my own life because she was a lot older than me.

I never thought I would also be in an abusive marriage, as she was.

She is a survivor of abuse.

And when she finally

gathered the courage and strength to leave her husband, Ikey Turner.

He turned to her and said, well, you are leaving this place penniless.

You're leaving this place with nothing.

And she looked at him and said, I'm leaving this place with nothing, but I'm leaving with me.

I'm leaving with myself.

Meaning, she believed in herself.

She knew her worth.

She knew.

her value.

She knew what she was capable of doing.

And I never forgot that.

And something very, very similar happened in my life when Anthony died.

I I lost everything.

I went through hell.

The people that took everything from me, they actually said that to me.

They said, you are going to end up on the street with nothing.

And I remember thinking to myself, you know what?

I'm going to make the biggest bet of my life and I'm going to bet on myself.

And now,

several years later, I have never been happier.

I have never felt more beautiful.

I have never felt more fulfilled.

Every single thing I do for work is pleasure.

I love and adore my projects.

Every message I get from you guys that listen to the podcast saying thank you, or I had better sex, or I left an abusive relationship, or I improved my dating profile, whatever it is that I hear from you guys, I really, really feel in my heart I'm doing my job and my little tiny part to contribute something amazing to the world.

And I am proud of myself.

And I think this is all we have to say.

When we are ready to go go and we're ready to die, because that's a given, I hope we all look back and say, you know what?

I did not sell myself short.

I went for it.

I gambled on myself.

For me, for sure, it was the best bet I ever made.

I am far from reaching all of my goals, but just knowing that I am capable of supporting myself, that I am a survivor of abuse, that I am a better friend, a better woman, a better professional, just a better human being in general, makes me so, so happy, makes me wake up every day with so much gratitude and so much love in my heart.

And I think that's the key.

And I always say that if you guys are participating on Canon Doos and listening to the episodes, I keep repeating that over and over and over again.

All these women, this horrific culture of women, that their goal in life is to find a rich guy to support them.

I despise that.

And I always say it's probably the worst thing in the world, this sugar baby bullshit.

Because basically, what you're doing to yourself, you're saying, I'm worth nothing.

I am such a piece of shit that I cannot make money.

I cannot contribute anything to the world.

I cannot get a real job.

I have to suck up to a man to pay my bills.

And I constantly say that: cut it out, look at yourself in the mirror, talk to your friends, talk to your family, figure out what is it that you're good at, and go and just fucking do something.

There is nothing more empowering than independence.

There is nothing more empowering than making your own money, than creating something, anything, whatever it is that you love doing.

Any job in the world is more respectable than doing absolutely shit because you think some dude needs to pay your bills.

And that breaks my heart.

A few years ago, I have a younger sister.

I have a sister.

She now is 21, but a few years ago when she was 18, and I was just starting the podcast, we were talking about podcasting and life goals.

I was trying to encourage her to do something with her life because basically she's lazy and she has no objectives, she has no goals,

she doesn't want to do anything with her life.

I was trying to encourage her to figure out her passion, maybe go to college,

showing her my projects, see if she got involved.

And she said to me, Well, what I really want to do with my life,

my dream would be to be Kylie Jenner's best friend.

And when she said that, my heart sank because I thought, oh my God, she didn't say I want to be a billionaire like Kylie Jenner.

She didn't say I want to be a crazy successful entrepreneur like Kylie Jenner.

She didn't say I want to see a businesswoman like Kylie Jenner.

She didn't say I want to build a business like Kylie Jenner.

She said, I want to be Kylie Jenner's best friend.

And that broke my heart on so many levels because I thought this girl has the entire life ahead of her, the whole world ahead of her.

And the ambition she has in her head is to be some rich girl's friend so you can participate in the lifestyle doing nothing.

And this is what's happening to a lot of the young people out there.

If we don't set an example as women, even men, to the younger generations that you need to kick some ass and you need to make something with your life this is the kind of girls that are we're going to see all the time.

I don't know if my sister is going to change.

Now she's 21, she's kind of on the same boat, and it still breaks my heart.

I still hope she does mature and change.

But as a woman, I feel that my job every single day is to pound and pound and pound and pound the message about independence.

Making money is not just great because it pays our bills.

Making money is great because you feel empowered.

That way, if you are in an abusive relationship, you don't say, oh, I have to stay because he pays my bills.

Or you don't say, oh, what am I going to do?

Where am I going to go with me and my kids?

The minute you have money, the minute you have your own separate bank account, the minute you have your business, your job, you're in control.

So don't ever, ever relinquish that for anyone, please.

And if you're a sugar baby listening to me, I always get hate messages from the sugar babies.

You know, don't cut yourself short because you might regret it.

Do something with your life.

Your partner will admire you.

I really believe in my heart, men who are real men are not intimidated by women that make money and have successful careers.

And I've asked that question a million times to my guests.

Now, my conclusion is: if a guy is intimidated by what you do, if a guy tries to convince you not to work, which was the case of my husband, if a guy doesn't want you to go out there and be successful, they're not a real man.

They're a coward, they're an abuser, they're a narcissist, they're something else, they have their own issues.

So, run away and find a partner who's going to stand by you, stand beside you, and be 100% into whatever it is that you do with your life.

I'm even getting emotional because, yeah, it's been such a long road for me to get here.

I hope you guys enjoyed this episode.

I love you so much.

Wishing everybody the most amazing Memorial Day we can all there.

Be safe and don't forget, love yourselves always, always, always.

Many kisses, Cat Kingdom, and I'll see you guys soon.

Don't forget, go get your sex toys.

Prazedis.com, P-A-P-R-A-Z-E-R-E-S dot com, Prazetistoys.com.

Get some sex toys for you.

Get some sex toys for you and your partner.

Have an amazing summer filled with sex, orgasm, laughter, love, health, and a lot of success.

Love you.

Many kisses.