PATTI STANGER DOES KAT ON THE LOOSE

Hey guys, before I start today's episode with Patty Stanger, I want to remind you that if you're into fashion as much as I am,

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I have to say, I am very, very, very, very, very honored to introduce my guest today because I've been a huge admirer of your work.

I told you that.

God's honest truth.

Ever since I was married, many, many years ago, I watched you on TV.

I admire how you tell people like it is.

I love your work ethics.

So let me introduce you, Petty Stanger.

Hi, Patty.

Hi, Derek.

Thank you so much for doing this.

Thank you.

Finally, I know I was hounding you.

She actually.

You're actually an amazing salesperson.

So I would hire you to sell my club any day of the week.

You would hire you.

I would hire you in five minutes.

You'd probably get married for me.

You probably test out all the men.

I can do that.

I can probably do that.

I don't know how good I would be doing that, but I'd be happy to.

I know I was hounding you, but God's honest truth.

Even when I was married, I used to watch your show.

Thank you.

But you know why I loved it?

Because back then we didn't have like all these 10 million reality shows and stuff.

And I loved how honest you were.

You literally had the balls to look in people's eyes and say, well, I mean, you know, you know what we talk about right now, and this is not just for dating or in relationships, common fucking sense,

like where did common sense go away?

Like, when we were growing up, you know, we didn't have a lot of dumb people, there men were still had the upper hand because it was still a patriarch of society, and women didn't work as much in my generation, which, you know, then we had no choice because men weren't marrying women.

And the average age of marriage is 29.

Really?

It likes was 22, like four years ago.

It's The millennials, and what's the one below the millennials?

What's the generation below the millions?

The ones that are coming up.

I can't give you

whatever.

They don't want to get married.

They're not moving out of their parents' houses.

Really?

They don't have materialism.

They don't have materialism.

So that's another thing.

That is true.

When you had,

I want an apartment, I want a car, I want to go on vacation, I want to buy the expensive dress or the watch, whatever.

You had materialism.

and so you hustle

but now there isn't a shame for living at home with your parents and having a home

really

oh my Jesus I don't know if I met a guy that's to

lived with his parents I'd be like okay a lot of

people do in their 40s I know but I don't have to date a guy that lives in the past like the version of Jewish parents

but and the Jewish girls in that community move down and they're like how do we get the men out of the house I said while mom's cooking and cleaning and he can sleep at your house and drive to BMW and go to work, why would he leave?

He's got the best of both worlds.

Yeah, that's true.

The mother who tells him he's an adult.

Now, let me ask you, from the days you started doing TV, I think obviously you were a pioneer in this business.

Thank you.

Up until now,

a lot changed in the dating world, right?

I think dating apps changed the dating world a lot.

What is your take on it?

Because I've been doing this podcast for almost three years.

Most single women like me, that's the number one choice when they go try to meet new men because we don't have a lot of free time to go to bars and events and everything.

But I always say, and from my experiences, dating apps made dating very

superficial.

Like men are ordering women like they order pizza.

Do you agree?

Yeah, now here's the problem.

There's too much to choose from.

Right.

Less work to do.

Right.

I don't have to go to a bar and pick up a girl or a grocery store.

I actually can do it from my underwear while I'm jacking up at the same time and drinking my beer

so women need to set the tone women need to stay no if a guy's spending a lot of time going back and forth and texting not answering all you got to do is say listen dude I don't know I don't know if I'm gonna stay on this app here's my number you're interested call me guy doesn't call he's not your guy right so all you're gonna do is cut him off at the knees or say I'm not a great texter I'm too busy for this

you want to chat and make a date here's my here's my number

you have to be proactive it's like why are you dating?

Someone calls you and says, you know, why is a pretty girl like you single?

Says, why a guy like you?

Why like single

deflect, deflect.

I don't think that's a fair question, anyways, right?

Like, why is a girl.

We, by the way, I asked for some reason.

We are doing this

as we're having lunch at the Soul House West Hollywood, and it's a gorgeous day.

We're multitasking.

She's feeding me.

We're multitasking.

So,

this is what I would do.

I would.

Oh my god, can I take a picture?

So, yeah, take a picture.

Oh, that's right.

We're going to let you.

So, the Beverly Hills Hotel makes the McCarthy salad.

Yes.

And now Sohas just copied it.

It's pretty cool.

This is looking like the McCarthy salad.

That is so true.

I know, you met your boyfriend on Tinder.

Yeah.

And I just interviewed my love coach, in-house expert, Nicole Moore.

She's super cool.

She also met.

What's her name?

Nicole Moore.

She's adorable and she loves you.

She also met Rosbalon.

So I said, you girls are pretty cool.

Yeah, I was just about to get off to, and I had blown David off.

I was like, yeah, I don't know if I want him.

He had a cute picture.

Don't get me wrong.

I was having bad luck online and I was upset.

And I went through this period like, why am I sick?

I'm not fucking shit.

I'm the expert.

Right.

And so I finally was like, all right, maybe I should give him a a chance.

We always got a Q-picture.

And what I liked about him is he had no social media.

Right.

None.

Can you believe that?

It could happen.

None.

So I said, all right,

I'll give you a shot.

I'll give you a shot.

I like your attitude.

And he turned out to be like adorable.

He was a real husband.

How long have you guys been together?

Almost seven months.

Wow.

So, do you have any tips?

Like, if somebody's on Tinder, like me, let's say, how do you read out?

I know you said tell the guy to text out of the dating app, la la la la.

Is there like a thing?

What I want to do is make sure he's taking you out in your neighborhood.

He has to drive to you, even if he's narrow away.

He doesn't do it.

I agree.

He says, No chance of hope.

He's lazy now, which is going to be like late.

I completely agree with you.

Okay.

I like old-fashioned gentlemen.

I like the guy to make the move

my way, you know.

You can say, like,

is there a favorite place you like in your area?

Or is it like a restroom you like to try?

That's what a guy knows.

I want to go here, I want to go there.

Yeah.

If you're drinking,

I don't

recommend more than two drinks.

Right.

So

if you're a lightweight kind of girl, you gotta.

If you're not, and you're not a drinker, you can drive.

But I want you to be in a well-lit place that

it's not some back alley.

Like you're picking the spot where there's a lot of traffic and there's a lot of people just in case this goes wrong because it is an online date and you do not know this person.

Right.

You can tell your friend.

You can put your GPS location on.

And you can always be nice to

the matrix D because he's if he's a man, he'll be very attentive to you to make sure if he's a woman, just say I'm on a date in case something goes wrong.

People have bad shit happening.

Now, what do you think about

because I know you said bad shit happens, but

no, thanks.

I'm happy.

I do my due diligence before I go and meet someone because there are a lot of crazes out there, and I don't have a lot of time, and I don't have a lot of patience.

So, I ask a million questions.

Like, if the guy doesn't have social media, I want to know at least like where you work, do you have LinkedIn?

LinkedIn.

And

I started doing something, and I want to know your opinion.

I asked for a video date first.

Like, oh, can we meet on video talk on the phone?

Do you think that's a bad idea or a good idea?

No.

But remember, if you're like on a, I'm not sure he's a customer, give him a chance because video dating is very hard to be attracted to anybody.

Nobody looks good in the light.

But I'll ask first.

Do you think maybe at least talk on the phone?

First of all, you got to hear his voice.

So, talk on the phone is first.

If you can't go straight to the date and you have a bad feeling, then I would go to a video date.

If you need to do a video date because you're long distance, that's a different story.

But

video dating can kill it, too.

You think so?

You smart at it, and it can kill it.

It's not 100% either way.

And you have to understand taste tests, nothing is more important than taste, touch, and feel.

Sometimes you meet a guy, you're bored out of your mind, taste, and he loves you, and you feel a tingle.

The famous chemistry, you have to have chemistry, obviously.

Right.

Now, because of something that happened to me this summer, I finally, we were talking before we started the podcast.

You know, I was married, la, I've been dating.

This, uh, in June, finally, I met a guy on Bumble that I really, really liked.

He was completely different from the type of guys that I usually date.

And we started a relationship.

Okay.

He was,

he was getting out of a 23-year marriage.

He was separated for one year.

And we were dating, and everything was going great, so I thought,

for four months.

And after four months, all of a sudden he put the brakes on it.

Like, really, literally, like he said, I changed my mind.

Everything was going amazing.

Yeah.

So after I told the story on my pod.

Can he tell you why?

No, he said, I don't know why I changed my mind.

I don't know what happened.

I think

because

I think he wanted to meet more people because he's finally free after a 23-year-old marriage.

So that's the question people have been sending me.

If a guy was married for a long time and they're separated and they tell you, I am ready for a relationship, I am ready for a relationship.

Is there a surefire to know?

How do you know that the person is ready or not so you don't get hurt?

Consistency.

He was very consistent.

It doesn't mean that he can't change his mind.

People change their minds, but they could have gone back to an extra.

I don't know.

I don't think so.

How do you know?

I don't know for sure.

Man is not gone till eight weeks.

So after that, did you see her for a month?

Did I see one?

Yeah, a little bit.

We chat here and there.

Okay.

You chat there and there.

Why?

Ask him why.

A lot of girls send me the question.

You start a relationship.

How do you know?

No, I want to know about this one.

Yeah, I don't know.

I have no idea.

What did he say when he called you?

No bullshit, like about the World Cup, Brazil is winning the World Cup.

That's so...

Did he say let's get together?

No.

No.

How is the test?

Really, really good.

Did you go on his social media?

Yes.

And there is nothing there.

And so now a lot of girls are sending me this question.

We start a relationship and you think everything is going great and you actually believe God.

Well, let's figure it out.

Yeah, let's figure it out.

Let's just hypothetically talk.

We have to break it down.

What kind of money did this guy make?

A lot.

How old was it?

53.

Kids?

Three grown kids.

I mean, one teenage daughter.

She likes

to doubt children like that.

He did not want to introduce me to the kids yet.

And he just, and he hasn't dated any?

I probably knew since we broke up, yes, we broke up two months ago.

I'm sure he's dating other people.

What made you think that

he wanted to date other people?

Because

at one point during the four months, I found out he was still on Bumble.

And he told me it was for his ego, because he was married for so long

that it felt good knowing that there were a lot of women that wanted to date him, but it was just for his ego because he really liked being with me.

That was the right flag, right?

Say it again slower.

Listen to this audience.

Say it again slower.

Yeah, say it again.

Just slowly say it.

He said he was still on bumble, but it was just for his ego that he really liked.

Okay, you had sex without an exclusive, committed, monogamous relationship.

We had sex on the fourth date.

No, don't do that.

Hello?

Where's the common sense?

Okay, so let's go.

Let's talk.

Let's talk about that, because that's very controversial.

What's your take on that?

I didn't have sex with David, my boyfriend.

He wanted to be my, he said, will you be my girlfriend on the birth date in front of my best friend?

So when?

I said, no.

When did you have sex?

I said, I don't know you that well enough.

And boom,

it took three months for us to have sex.

Three months.

Three months.

And then

I had to get to know him.

I had to see where he lived.

What did you do?

Okay.

How long does it take you to buy a house?

Come on, come on.

I don't know.

You ever bought a house before?

Yes.

How long did it take you to buy a house?

I don't know, a few months.

Maybe.

You put an offering, right?

Yeah.

You got the offer in what?

In a week?

Yeah.

Okay, and then you've got to go into inspection, right?

Right.

And then after that, you've got to sign the papers, even though you put money in escrow.

You got to wait till escrow clears, and that's at least two months, right?

you do you move into the house?

No.

Before all that happened?

No.

Oh, there's my case, you're on.

So you think that's the same thing when you meet a guy?

You should wait till he clears you.

Why would?

Really?

Why would you let him, like, a penis inside of you, unless you were just wanting to hug him?

No.

You want to play?

You want to get laid?

No, I know that's different.

That's different.

Well, let me ask a question.

Okay, so like in your case, you met David, okay?

You're going out with him for three months, like dates, restaurants, la la.

I slowed him down.

Weren't you curious?

Like, I want to know if I have chemistry with this guy.

I had chemistry with him.

You were just kissing me, introduced me and made out with me, grabbed me, okay.

I say, no, in, no, in, or no, in, you know, the three ins.

I always get monogamy.

That's not my issue.

But

at the same time,

why on earth would you, like when he said, I feel good,

thank you,

I feel good about,

you know, God was wanting me after all this time and blah, blah, blah.

Yeah.

Okay, that's the first sign of immaturity.

Right, right.

Uh-huh.

So in general, when somebody, when you start dating someone, you think, how long?

Do you think there's a time frame that you should wait?

Like three months.

Three months?

So far, three months.

Now, listen.

Rich men are going to go faster.

Rich men are going to want to take you away for the weekend.

No.

You can go,

I'm not ready to sleep with you.

I don't want to leave you alone, but I'm super attracted to you.

In order for me to feel safe, which is when I get an inhibited fly, okay,

I need to,

you know, maybe get a s maybe get a s like he's rich, get another room.

Okay?

And if he likes you, he's going to go, okay.

I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do.

I'm ready to wait.

Now, if he's an asshole and just wants to get laid, he's just going to go on to the next room.

So,

it's a temperature of how much investment you should put into that.

Now, if he's not rich,

he's going to have to wait.

Now, a lot of people are going to be able to do it.

I've spent time taking him to the baseball game or the theater, whatever he does.

Yeah.

Okay, so after three months,

then, oh, yeah, it's really good.

So, the the guy, what did David say to you that convinced you?

He said, I'm only with you and I want to be only with you.

He said, I want, will you be my girlfriend?

What does that mean?

No, he said it earlier than that.

I slowed him down, so I'm not ready.

He said, that's okay, I'll wait.

And I said, I was dating all the people.

I wasn't ready.

But I liked him the most.

He said,

I said, what does that mean?

He goes, that we're exclusive.

He's a a guy that doesn't fuck around.

He works his ass off.

Now, a lot of men, Patty,

say that this

strategy can backfire.

I've had many, many, many guys.

Only men who are not good men will backfire.

A really good men will wait.

I like that you're saying that because a lot of men say, oh my God, I'm not going to wait.

I'm going to go and have sex with somebody else.

La, la, la la, la.

Okay, Emily Richesky wants to go out with Devil.

And they go,

he goes, I'm not ready to commit, but I want to date you.

Right now, get to know you.

You think they're not going to wait for her?

Come on.

Seriously.

That's a good point.

So, like, a serious guy is not going to pressure into having sex.

So, for sure, everybody.

50.

Nothing has changed.

Oh, this time.

Male men wait.

Boys.

There's a difference between boys and men.

Boys say things like your boyfriend gets set to it.

Yeah.

That's not a male.

And you should turn off when you heard it.

Not go, why did he say that?

A woman who knows their self-worth is going to go, fuck, I dodged a bullet.

What a loser.

And when he calls you, you should go, listen,

I'm not interested in a friendship.

I'm dating, and I'm not really interested.

Please don't call me anymore.

You have like a very interesting perspective because, honestly, maybe this is why my relationship.

Do you have time to wait?

I don't have time to wait.

Do you have time to wait?

I don't have a lot of patience for players, for bullshit.

You know, exactly.

So, when a guy calls you and says, Look, I'm really not interested in dating you right now.

I want to date other people and see what's out there, and they start calling you like a crown,

you're not as confident.

You're not as therapist.

No, don't call me and say, Look, I'm not interested in being a crown.

So, let's talk about the age thing.

A lot of people think that most successful, well-established men in their 40s, 50s, 60s, they only want to date much, much younger women.

Do you agree or not?

No, my boyfriend only dates around his age.

All my exes did.

Immature maybe.

I kind of agree with you, but again, I get a ton of messages from girls.

You're going to get Brad Pipp and George Clooney dating half their age.

It's okay.

Well, not entirely right.

Look who George Clooney ended up marrying, right?

She's still a child.

After all, the actress is a little bit more.

But she's still an 18-year-age age shifter.

Oh, there is.

Oh, yeah.

She comes from a very wealthy family.

I thought she was kind of like.

And

she's a human rights adjuster.

Yes, she's no slacker.

Brilliant.

And the glue there was.

She wasn't as looker as type.

No.

But when he beams, when he looks at her.

The glue was that they both have human rights in love.

Yeah.

So to the women that think, oh, I'm not, because a lot of women make this mistake, like, they lie on these dating apps about their age.

I think it's a horrible mistake.

Men lie too.

But I think it's a horrible mistake.

Do you agree?

You think it's a should lie?

Lie 10 years below and go out.

Really?

Why?

Because you'll box yourself out of the connection.

Like if you're 60, you should say you're 400.

But why?

Because it's a marketing tool.

Because when you meet the person,

you're going to have to tell them.

They don't care.

You don't care.

They don't care how old you are.

They never care.

But

why does that help?

Because it's going to help you marketing-wise

to get your face in front of the action.

In front of like more people.

Ah,

I see.

I lied about my age.

Like getting up.

Yeah, nobody, I don't think any man that I ever dated cared about how old I am.

But I just feel like

maybe on the dating app, but like when I meet someone, I don't want to lie about who I am because I'm proud of my age.

You don't have to.

I'm telling you, we're just trying to figure out a strategy.

She's not getting

in front of the men.

And she's going to have to tweet that.

That's marketing.

Men do it too.

Men lie about their age.

All of them do.

Really?

You make it like women have no power.

Your energy is women have no power.

No, I am telling you, like, the number one complaint, for example, the number one complaint of all men.

But that's women who have no power.

Just look.

Men are like buses.

As my mother would say, men are like what?

Buses.

They come every 10 minutes.

You just got to know what bus to get on.

Okay?

So

if you live in a state of lack, all men this, all men that, absolutely, you have no power.

If you say, I'm waiting for the right person who's a good fit for me, you have power.

No,

you don't talk to that guy that calls you

when he said, I want to date other people.

Right, I think, no, this is what I say.

If somebody tells me they want to date other people, I'm like, go for it.

You You know, fuck you.

I don't have time.

Basically, I just move on.

You don't have to say fuck you.

What happens is...

You don't have to say fuck you.

You have to say thank you for revealing me.

Yeah.

I agree.

But what happens is, with me, I get pickier and pickier and pickier as I go on.

Like, I kind of lose my patience.

I just get so picky.

It's so rare that I actually even talk to someone that I want to go and, okay, let's meet because it's exhausting, right?

The dating is exhausting.

And I'm not going to talk about that.

That's why a matchmaker is the the best bet.

Yeah, so let's talk about.

I'm not going to hire a matchmaker.

That's the best.

So let's talk about matchmakers.

Well, not everybody.

Can you explain to people that don't know anything?

Because I have interviewed matchmakers in the past, but I want to be very, very honest.

A lot of people call themselves matchmakers, but they have no idea what the hell they're doing.

There are a lot of lawyers that also call themselves lawyers.

Exactly.

So the first matchmaker I talked to, quote unquote,

when I said, Okay, do you want to try to match me so we can explain to people how it works?

And she was like, No, because if it doesn't work out, if I can't match you, you're gonna tell everybody that I didn't match you.

So, the first question is: Not every matchmaker can match everyone, right?

Sometimes it doesn't work out.

You know, you have to pay and join my service.

Like, right, I don't just do this for free.

So, sometimes.

So, how does it work for people that both men and women that you match pay?

I do gay and straight.

I specialize in millionaires.

Non-millionaire women register in the database, but I cannot guarantee that they're going to get a date.

And men and women, gay or straight, who come to nearby, they're guaranteed dates.

They get unlimited dating for 14 months.

Memberships go anywhere from $45,000 to $250,000.

So it's for the very, very,

very wealthy.

I have a very large database.

It's also for people who are not.

Register in in the database.

Okay, so if some girls out there are listening, they can go to the site and they can be on your database.

It's great.

It's great.

Men and right.

And then the non-millionaires do it.

Okay, so and then how does it work?

And we're also international.

We're just not in the United States.

So you're all over, you're matched all over the world.

All over the world.

All over the world.

Amazing.

I have a book.

If you can't match, if you can't go on my service, you can actually learn how to become your own matchmaker called How to Become Your Own Matchmaker on Amazon.

Really?

Uh-huh.

Eight steps to finding true love and getting married in a year.

Then I have a fragrance, which I just gave you.

This is the Buy of Love,

which is a pheromone that attracts whatever sex you want.

If you're gay,

by the way, you know how sometimes perfume goes away.

This is like really, really, really

good perfume.

Excuse me, pheromone.

It is very powerful.

It is very powerful.

Buy it there.

It's not expensive.

It's like $60 and under.

It's a great gift.

And then we have a coaching program that you can join on the side if you can't afford the matchmaking.

The coaching programs are like $20K for packages.

Plus, I also train other matchmakers.

I train matchmakers at the Matchmakers Institute in New York.

It's the only certification program that there is.

It depends what your needs are.

Your needs are.

But you go on to Millionaires Club123.com, the website, you're going to see all the programs, everything you need

for men, for women, for gay, for Kai, for gay.

So if a woman is listening and she goes on the database, then how does it work?

The girls that work for you look through the database to try to find the right match for your menu.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I have matchmakers that work for you.

The matchmakers that work for you.

Yeah, they're fixing up the clients who paid.

Got it.

Okay, we're going to take a two-minute break and we're going to come back with Patty Stanger from this gorgeous day up here at the Soul Mills West Hollywood.

And I have a few sex questions that maybe you can help us with.

We'll be right back.

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Okay, we're back with Petty Stanger.

You have, like,

I said, very, very, very good advice and

very different from most

matchmakers, and very different from most experts when it comes to dating relationships.

Maybe that's my work.

So, you said women should definitely withhold sex.

That's something that honestly, I never do.

No, no, no, it's not withholding sex.

You're making it like, you know, we're on the defensive.

No.

It's basically

until I feel safe.

Okay.

You could get monogamy on the first date.

I've gotten that before.

But you have to tell the guy, look, and he can lie.

Men can lie.

It's a risk.

It's a risk.

It's a risk.

There is no guarantees.

There's no one-size-fits-all and everybody's the same.

But you'd have to say, look, I don't have sex unless I'm an exclusive

committed monogamous relationship because I need to feel safe.

He's going to say, What makes you feel safe?

And you're going to say, Monogamy.

And then, if he's really your guy, he's going to go, Of course, I want to be monogamous.

But if he's not, he goes, Hey, like, I want to be like the guy you went out of.

I want to try a little pony.

I want to taste all the desserts in the city.

He's a boy because men don't want cock

around another cock.

Cock smells cock.

So they don't want their women

in, you know, out there.

If he says to you, I don't want monogamy and I want to party, right, with other people.

So can you.

So why would a man want his woman to sleep with other men?

Only boys want that.

So think logically, he's calling you and acting like you have this open,

you know, friends with beneficial relationships because you never established your intention.

And he has every right to think that.

You never told him what you were thinking.

You never said,

hey, what do you think about monogamy?

And don't ask him how he feels.

No, we've all right.

No, not when I hear the words.

Go back to me on the words.

It's all about the words.

So tell me what you think.

Yeah, so when we started dating, he, like you said, like your boyfriend did to you, he would look me in the eyes and say, I am monogamous.

I like being just with one person.

I'm very happy with you.

But he did.

But so he said to you, I'm monogamous with you.

Yes.

So then you asked, did you ask him what changed his mind?

Yes.

Okay.

And he's like, I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Whatever.

Okay, that is balancing.

He knows what he says.

Right, it's balanced.

Either he didn't like the sex, he met somebody else.

But in any case, what you all have to do is say, he's not my match.

He was training.

He was training Mills.

You have been married all those years.

You're out of practice.

Because the more you do this, the more clear you're going to get in your head and the more sharper focus you're going to be on who's right, who's wrong.

And you're not going to let those non-monogamous types come in.

Do you think your husband cheated?

No, never.

Okay.

Never.

So

this is an unusual event that somebody wanted to get out of a relationship with you.

It doesn't mean he cheated.

It just means you weren't the one there.

Right, right.

All right.

But your husband was drunk the whole time.

Right.

So your husband wasn't present, period.

No.

So psychologically, if we were going to go deep into your foundation, whether it's childhood or not, you picked men that are not available either emotionally or physically.

And like a lot of women out there are like me.

So why do you break this pattern?

So you break the pattern by recognizing it.

And instead of ignoring the red flags, you get out.

You don't wait for them to get out.

You get out.

So, what was the first red flag on the sky?

Yeah, what was the first red flag on the sky?

When I found out that he was still on bumble.

Because we were.

Okay, and you still kept going.

Yes.

So when you found out he was on bumble and he didn't get off the apps,

what should you have done if you had to go back and retrospect?

I would have said, oh, I don't want to be a part of it because I wouldn't have to go.

But you would have said, I'm not really digging this.

It's not really.

Okay, you're a woman.

You're supposed to be beta.

He's the alpha, right?

You want an alpha man.

Yeah.

You would say, this doesn't make me feel good.

Stop.

Let him resolve the not feeling good.

His job is to resolve it and help you, soothe you, make you feel better.

He's the alpha.

You're the thing

and not fix it for him.

So you should have said, this doesn't make me feel good.

He goes, well, normally a guy would go, what can I do to help?

And you'd say, get off the app and prove to me you're monogamous.

If not,

I got to stop dating you.

And you didn't do that.

So he took the upper hand.

No, I didn't do that.

And he squeezed all the juice out of the lemon or the orange.

Yeah, like what?

And then he's like, I don't need to go back to the bottom.

One month later, he told me he got out of the act because he wanted to, and like a week later, he broke up.

We broke up.

Okay.

Okay, so moving on.

Now, when's the last time you heard from him?

Like I said, maybe a week ago about some stupidity.

Okay, now, now.

How did he end the conversation?

This is a lesson to you.

How do you end the question?

How did he end the conversation?

Just like if Brazil and France are on the final, who do you root for?

Okay, when you said I root for France, then what did he say?

Nothing else.

He said, okay, gotta go?

No, didn't respond.

How did he?

So he just got off the phone?

It wasn't phone, it was text.

Let me see the text.

I don't, I don't even know.

No, you have the text.

Let me see.

No, I swear to God, I don't.

I'm Bible.

I don't have it.

I don't care.

You deleted his note.

You deleted his notes.

No, I delete the text because I don't want to keep reading it.

Bible, I don't have.

Okay, then delete him right now.

Delete and block.

I did.

I did look.

No, did you delete and block him?

I not blocked.

Okay, go.

Show the universe you don't want somebody like this.

No, I do not.

Delete and block him.

Delete and block him.

Just did look.

Okay, now, delete and block him.

If he wants to come through Instagram,

he can contact you through Instagram and then you'll delete him again.

Say, please do.

Just do that.

I agree.

No, but that's the...

No, no, no, no, no.

You talk too much.

But it's a podcast.

We have to do it.

Stop talking and listen.

I don't care if it's a podcast.

You're asking me to help you and the rest of the community that females are lost in buffeting as well.

We're not talking about women who are getting a right.

We're talking about women who are getting a right.

So, you can't keep talking over here.

One,

when a man hurts you

and he doesn't make it up to you, like he made a mistake and he's trying to fix it, that's different.

But if he hurts you and he just keeps coming back for more juice to make him feel good, you are, as Vicki would say on Housewives of Orange County, you are filling up his love tank for him to date somebody else.

True.

Okay.

okay so you need to cut it off the knees you need to make yourself feel billion if you want to cry it out for two or three days go ahead but you need to delete and block delete and block and there's a reason why you delete or block and delete it would be block and delete first okay the reason is is you need to free yourself and show the universe you're no longer engaged in this situation and the space has to get clear for another quality man because a quality man who's available is not going to like your dance with this guy and go, I dated this guy, I'm friends with him.

No, I was talking to David, my boyfriend, yesterday, and I said, I don't keep my exes around.

He goes, Neither do I.

I think that's the reason we really become favorite because I don't talk to them ever.

Ever.

And my last guy was dating someone else for a very long time.

He had a girlfriend.

He lied to me, he deceived me, and I became best friends with his sister.

And when I found out that he was deceiving me, it was game of fuck over.

Like, I was horrified.

But I went out, like, I was, I dated him for three months.

It was it was intense, but we didn't have sex.

And then I went up there to visit and found out he had a girlfriend and she was devastating.

She, the doormat,

after four years, has no ring, in her 50s.

He's in his 50s.

And she's gotten nothing out of this.

He takes advantage of her.

Like they went on vacation.

Or no, actually,

she had a birthday party for him and he wouldn't kiss her for a picture.

Oh my god.

My boyfriend, I had a birthday party for him.

He was madly in love with me.

Yeah, I think he got something.

So it's like,

yeah, but this girl is so doormat codependent.

She's desperate.

When somebody makes you so desperate that you can't eat, sleep, drink, piss, whatever, and you can't watch frequent TV shows and you can't focus on work, that is a sign to get the fuck out.

Oh, yes.

Get out.

Get out.

Get out.

Get out.

Get out.

Get out.

Get out.

I'm not talking about when the romance is sizzling and you can't sleep because you're too excited.

I'm talking about someone taking advantage of you and hurting you.

Get the fuck out.

It's only going to get worse from here.

I completely agree with you.

I was in a very abusive marriage for 14 years, and I know how hard it is for a lot of people to grow balls to get out of it.

And many times, like you get used to the abuse, even if it's verbal abuse, like in my case, it was mostly verbal.

But you get used to it and you start thinking that it's normal.

It's not easy for a lot of women to say that.

Here's the thing,

I learned something recently.

Like, if it doesn't work out with me and David, I'll be okay because I love myself first, and it means he's not the right match for me.

So, wouldn't you rather have the right match than 10 bad matches just to keep you busy during Christmas and New Year's Eve and whatever?

No, you don't want to waste your time.

I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong match.

That's how I feel.

And you have to get to the place of self-love to say that.

That's how I feel.

I mean, when you're in your 30s and your hormones are raging, like, you know, that's, you know, they they call it the dirty 30s for a reason.

You can't think clearheaded because you have too much estrogen in your body.

When you get to your 50s, the testosterone takes over.

So you're in menopause or perimenopause.

And the testosterone's taking over and you're starting to go, what the fuck's in it for me?

But when you're in your 30s, you would have been a slave to that.

And that's the difference.

But if you can handle that while you have a lot of estrogen, girls in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, and they're going,

I don't want to be, I don't want to cheat on it.

I don't want to be abused.

I don't want to be left alone.

I don't want to be ignored.

I want to be like, I want romance.

And I demand romance.

And I want a man who's romantic.

Because there are plenty of them out there.

Then I will wait for that person to show up.

Then the universe heals.

Totally.

So that's one question that a lot of girls send too.

You broke up or somebody broke up with you.

I usually like taking a break.

Like I do self-healing.

I spend a lot of time with myself.

That's great.

I don't like jumping from the body.

No, you can't.

No,

you want to self-soothe.

Yeah.

And you want to figure out where did I go wrong?

So I don't repeat the mistake again.

That's excellent.

So, that was the question.

What is your, because a lot of people

say, just go jump right back on it.

Everybody's different.

So, there's the person,

she's very social, like she's got six, seven nights a week, and she's more of an external.

She needs to get on

in order to get over a guy, you got to get under another guy.

Then there's the person that's like, I can't even look.

It's like, I've eaten too much pasta, I'm never eating Italian food again.

Okay, or I drank too much, I'm never drinking again.

It's like

you're sick to death of men.

And you go, I've seen it break.

Like,

I need to clear the cobwebs, cry it out, watch my favorite TV shows, eat my favorite foods, and just self-soothe.

There are two kinds of people.

There is no right or wrong way.

It's what's right for you where you don't lose yourself.

You can still work.

You can still talk with friends without crying and falling apart.

And you can, not to say at the beginning you don't cry, but you can still have a life.

You're excited about something.

Like, oh, I'm going on a trip tomorrow to Hawaii.

And I'm not going with a guy, but I don't care because I'm going to walk around the beaches.

I'm going to listen to my favorite meditation tape.

I'm going to go to my favorite spot.

Like, you're excited about something.

It's when you can't, you're so rock-bottom with depression that you can't even eat.

You see those people on the break-up diet.

I know.

Like Chloe Kardashian, you know, like it's too skinny for good.

I know.

And just, you know, you can feel their pain when you see them.

And you're just like, that poor thing.

I know.

That's heartbreaking, right?

Especially because they're doing it in the public eye.

I cannot even imagine.

Yeah, and they have to work.

They got to get on the carpet.

They got to sell something.

So it's very hard.

But you have to worry about you.

You have to put you first.

And if that means you can't go to your best friend's wedding because it's going to make you ruin the wedding, you don't go.

You don't go.

She may not understand, but you've got to worry about you.

Yeah, totally.

And the truth is, if you go to the wedding and you have to give the speech and you're the maid of honor or whatever, you got to like put your shit aside for your best friend who you can't ruin her wedding because of your own bullshit.

Why should a guy ruin your best friend's wedding that you probably look forward to for years together?

And then you're like, oh, I can't get out of the real world.

That is such a good point.

Now,

you got to force yourself.

Yeah.

You know,

the brain only knows what's familiar.

So you got to train that brain to think positive thoughts and go, any day now I'm going to meet my soulmate.

Any day I'm going to feel better.

Any day I'm going to have the best time of my life.

I always say that because I think if somebody breaks your heart and you're like, oh, I give up on love.

I'm never going to find...

You're like basically making that person win.

Well, at the beginning, when we were children, we had something go wrong, whether your parents divorced or your third-grade boyfriend.

Something went wrong.

And in that moment, it was so intense, the pain, we made a decision.

So all roads, I'm never going to fall in love again.

So what is your mind going?

Mind goes, great, I'll give you guys, but it's not going to be the one.

And you're going to have to fucking knock it out with them, and then it's going to go really sideways.

But I'll give you another one like that, and it's another one, and the lesson keeps coming because your brain only knows what you told it.

If you don't go back to the map and change the brain, and that means 500 times minimum a day in repetition of an affirmation that can shift the consciousness, the subconscious from feeling

negative to positive, you ain't going to get any work.

You got to get work.

Now, does that mean that people don't meet even when they're at rock bottom?

No.

There are people that go, I was rock bottom.

I cried my eyes that I couldn't leave the house.

Finally, I put a bathrobe on.

I went to Trader Joe's, and I went to go get a bottle of wine, and boom, there he was there.

It's because your mind was on something else.

At that moment in time, and you had already petitioned the universe for what you wanted.

You can meet anyone anywhere.

Can you use a matchmaker to make your life easier?

Fuck yes.

We make people's lives easy.

And we're basically a travel agent to love.

That's what we are.

Okay?

Or a headhunter, you know?

But the thing thing that I want you to understand is

you can't go into another relationship self-sabotaging it from the one before because you aren't ready yet.

So they might give you somebody, but you may not be ready.

That is so true.

Now,

shifting a little bit,

let's talk about the people that are in happy relationships.

Like, you found someone, you're a monogamous.

Yeah, but there are days I hate them.

There's them.

You're dating.

I'm just like everybody.

When I watch these people on the carpet or I watch people on Instagram, those Instagram couples, I want to, me and my sister sister know, we want to get nauseous for me

because

you don't know what's going on.

And then you hear three weeks later they're going to get a divorce.

Like, you don't know what's going on behind closed doors.

Right.

I mean, nobody knows.

Shaylou and A-Ron.

I mean, like, oh, remallie and love are going to marry, blah, blah, blah.

How do you think?

You could see how her event happened.

I know.

I was thinking the same thing, like, because she talks about it all.

I'm like, I hope she's not going to be a little bit more.

Exactly.

She can't get.

Keep it continuing.

I know.

To overkill, someone's going to get someone's life.

Like, she's already married with him.

She doesn't need to believe it and everything.

She could keep it a little more private.

She's like, oh my God, we're so in love.

We're so amazing.

He's so amazing.

He's all over me.

Like, I don't do that.

I put a picture here and there.

Yeah, Elijah.

But I'm very easy-breezy with him.

Yeah, so I agree.

I think a big part of our personal life we should keep private, right?

Social media people are picking everything out there.

People will have haters come.

They can undermine your confidence.

And he could turn off.

Yeah.

He could turn off.

Yeah.

And then it's a big deal.

Now, for the people that are dating and are very happy and are in a monogamous relationship, having sex, a lot of girls send this question.

How do you keep this fight?

Like, how do you keep it going after a while?

Do you have any tips?

You have to do date night.

Date night.

And for every two to three times he takes you out, you do something.

But I cook during the week.

So I made dinner last night.

And Saturday he's taking me out.

Are you guys living together?

No, no, no.

He lives like far away from me, actually.

He lives on the east side.

He lives on the Echo Park area.

His office is around around the corner.

And he lived downtown in one of the high-rises.

Now his parents own a house.

He moved into the house.

But no, we don't want the close.

But he drives to me.

He spends more time at my house than I do at his.

Mine is by the beach.

Mine's more comfy, cozy.

But this weekend I'm going to his.

So, you know, you have to make allowances.

And he's not rich.

There was times I was like,

he's a good solid businessman.

But I was like, ugh, I want Mr.

Private Plane.

And I don't really want to work anymore.

And I see all these wealthy guys.

Why shouldn't I have one?

And I went through that whole phase.

But at the end of the day, I'm not a six nights girl on the carpet or going to restaurants.

I'm a homebody.

I stay home.

I like to cook,

get into my PJs, and get under the covers and watch my favorite TV shows.

Like, if you watch my Instagram, I'm always promoting like Yellowstone was my favorite show this year.

And so they've sent me a cabbage hat.

Mrs.

May is all the year before.

Like, in other words, I promote like White Lotus.

I'm obsessed with White House.

I am too.

I'm obsessed with my white.

Like, you don't want to fucking know.

And so I think he's a genius.

And I loved Enlightened.

I loved Enlightened.

So, you know, I watched my favorite shows, and then I put it on Instagram.

And I tell Me Lies was my new favorite new one.

You know, it wasn't a recurring show coming back.

And I blew it up on my Instagram.

I said, guys,

run to the internet and watch it.

So

I'm a TV watcher.

That's my crack.

I love to cook healthy.

I love to read up.

I'm a big reader.

I'm a big listen to podcasts.

I'm interested in biohacking.

And I love Luke's Stories podcast, a bunch of others that I listen to.

And Dave Asprey and Eleventh.

So I like hearing about health and mindset.

A lot of my friends are in the mindset business and the, you know, in the course business.

And thank you very much.

In the course business.

And then.

Fantastic.

And then I also like,

I haven't gotten into my crafting, and I thought about getting into gardening.

David's a big gardener, so I really want to have, I wanted him to help me make an herb garden.

So he's into that, and we walk.

He plays tennis, he's getting me into tennis.

There's a lot of things.

You have to have common interests.

We have common interests.

We laugh together.

This last couple weeks were a little tough.

We were all stressed out.

And I gave him some space.

He came right back to me.

He apologized.

He said, Babe, I'm so sorry that I was so difficult this week, but I had such stress at work.

And please note that you're the first one that I come home to an event to.

And I don't mean to get a little angry and a little resentful one of his kids was like not calling you back like you know shit that happens annoyances and he apologized and he hugged me and kissed me and told me he loved me less like because I was at home and going I wasn't fun right now Yeah, and you go through periods of fun and go through periods of not

but I'm a realist at the end of the day.

I'm not spending crazy money right now because the recession

We're talking about going on a trip, but we're like maybe we don't go to the four sources.

Maybe we'll get an Airbnb.

Like we're like we're being careful right now because we don't know.

It's like almost fear.

The stock market's going to drop 25% in the new year.

Bank of America just made an announcement.

And I'm not, I'm a realist.

We talk about we're really into metaphysics and to aliens, and we love watching documentaries.

And we're into the Idaho murders right now.

We want to know who killed these four people.

It is driving me crazy.

They don't have a single suspect.

I watch it every night.

I'm obsessed with this.

I'm trying to get the theories going because there is nothing.

There is nothing.

They have nothing.

I've never seen anything like this before.

And so we're obsessed.

He got me into it.

He loves these crime podcasts.

And we have little things that we get in common.

Sometimes,

you know, he needs Zen Quiet, and I need Zen Quiet.

I let him watch his sports.

He has season tickets to the Dodgers.

So I don't really like baseball, but he got me into the playoffs.

And then he got me, they never made it to the World Series, but then we watched the World Series.

And then I'm so happy with Philly.

And then, because I'm from Jersey, so it's changing.

But then at the same time,

I don't watch football and stuff, and he got me into football.

And then he's like, hey, come on, you do a little bit of football.

Like I watch Half an Hour, and then I go upstairs and watch my show.

So, yeah, but we have Zig and Zach.

No.

I let him work from my house.

Okay, so let me ask a question.

In your case, you just said the dynamics.

He's not a millionaire or anything.

He's a regular guy.

He's a regular guy.

It's a controversial question.

His cousin is a very famous billionaire.

I won't say his name.

But his cousin is a billionaire.

So he's been around very wealthy people.

He's been around famous people a lot.

Okay, so he wasn't intimidated.

Obviously, he wasn't intimidated.

He was not intimidated.

His sisters, he's 40 years old.

It's a question that we always ask because a lot of women, it's very controversial.

He was not an issue.

Do you think most men are intimidated by women?

No, no.

You really don't think so?

Men aren't, boys are.

Again, separating boys from the men.

A man isn't.

Yeah.

No.

David is totally not intimidated at all.

Most of the women he's dated, he's been worse.

I love your answer.

You said men are not, boys are, because usually the experts say yes, men are, or no, men are not, but nobody ever put it.

I didn't want to date people up.

Yeah, I would think.

That's why I wanted to have you on.

I don't know, so I see all the things.

If a guy is intimidated, like by my work, because it's pub, because it's podcast, I talk about

they're not a man.

Charles Larry is my best friend from Housewives of New York City.

Oh my god, I'm sorry.

When Jill met Bobby, he was super, super successful, more successful than her.

She then goes goes into the role of Mana that the wife, he's the husband, he's the alpha, she's the beta, right?

But she's no slacker.

She got on TV.

She created that show from scratch.

Then he gets sick and he's dying, and she needs an outlet.

So she goes and plays tennis once a week for now to get, because people put feeding tubes in him.

She took care of him.

And like you've never said, brought him home, did it all right, right?

I watched her.

And she meets Gary.

And Gary and her start playing tennis and they have a friendship.

He's divorced, you know, but there was no hanky panky there.

They were besties.

and then you know, he dies, and Gary's like there lifting her up, and his business is thriving.

And then he gets into COVID, he sells suits, big suits, and then that business tanks because he was wearing suits, right?

We're in COVID.

And then he had to reinvent himself.

So he went into the licensing business for masks, and he brought Jill in.

And Jill went fashion masks, and he went medical mask.

And they formed a union and a friendship and a bond, and they date, and they're in a relationship and serious and living together.

And she's like hat-hauling ass and making money.

And he helped her, but he has his own business.

But maybe he's not as rich as she is because she inherited money too.

There's another thing.

And so he's not intimidated by her.

And he was a major successful businessman with a rules.

That's awesome.

But shit happens.

Businesses go under.

You know, more businesses are going under, especially in families.

And so sometimes you're going to take turns.

Like, when I was, when we were together, you were the alpha making all the money.

He loses his money, stock market, investments, like Madoff, whatever.

And then your little business starts to take off.

And the next thing you know, you're making more money than him.

So things are, nothing is always what it is in this moment in time, as my mother would say.

My dad lost all his money at one point.

And I watched him do it, make stupid decisions.

And I said to my mom, you need to go to work.

You're the fucking brains behind this operation.

And she didn't want to go to work because in her time, nobody went to work.

And then I said, I'm never going to depend on anyone financially.

Right.

It's kind of my case because because I was married to a million.

My husband was very, very, very wealthy.

Right.

And when he passed away, it's a very long story, but basically his son and our CFO took all the money over.

Inherited.

They can go to probate.

No, I inherited everything.

But then the son, the military

came calling at the point.

You were in probate, probably.

Yeah, it's a very long, crazy story.

But, anyways, I had to start my life over from scratch.

Right, exactly.

Which I love.

So anything can happen.

So just because you're married, look at what happened to Lisa Hopsey.

Okay?

Oh, my God.

I am

Now, here's what I love.

He creates a monster.

He creates a monster.

He gives her plastic surgery.

She works there.

She builds the business up.

And then he's getting pissed off.

She wants to party six nights a week and leave the kids at home.

But he created the monster.

So then he gets bored with her.

He finds somebody else.

And he goes, I want a divorce.

She probably had an ironclad key enough.

He's seen pretty, you know, nice, smart Jewish guy that's not going to let someone fuck him over.

Now she's crying that I can't pay for diapers, but she makes $30,000 an episode on House Housewives Miami.

And maybe her expenses are crazy, but she shouldn't be buying Birkins.

You might have to dial it back and say, you know, we're Birkins.

I'm not going on vacation.

I'm not buying new clothes.

Like, I got to find a business now other than Miami.

Let's take the leverage of Miami Housewives.

Let's go and find a partner to get a new clothing line.

Like, you know, maybe I open a med spot.

But this is

complicated because no, then because she's beard or something.

She wants to be taken care of.

But here's the thing: he's going to pay child support.

He probably will not pay alimo because he had some kind of deal going.

And I'm sure she's going to get at least 10 grand, something like, because I think the maximum 10 grand, and he's going to, or he's going to pay for it out of pocket where she doesn't have to pay for sinking roll or clothes or camp or whatever.

But she's got to go out and work.

I agree.

And she's not 12 years old.

Fatty, I agree with you.

You know, and she's not 80.

So she's able-body.

I always send this message.

It doesn't matter how much money your husband has.

What's expensive?

Work, work.

It's the expenses.

Because you're not.

Look at the Christleys.

$30 million in fraudulent loans.

Jill tells me this story a long time ago, and I go, they're going all, oh, no, you're wrong.

And they got out of the state thing, the state tax.

And I went, IRS is not state tax.

It's not the franchise.

Okay, you have to understand something.

The minute the IRS comes, you're fucked.

And so you better have your books and ducks in the room.

And so the assistant squealed on him to get out of, it because the assistant was

on the hook for the ironists too.

Something happened with the assistant.

And so somebody calls it in and he takes $30 million of fortune loans, for what?

You had a hit TV show.

I'm sure you had a lot of endorsement deals.

Why do you need to live so large?

Is what I don't understand.

Why do you need 50 McMansions and 60 cars?

Like, what is going on with you?

And you live in the middle of nowhere.

Try this in L.A.

You're not going to work in L.A.

So I was just like,

and I've met them and they're very lovely people.

They seem harmless.

I've met their daughter.

I've met them.

But I'm thinking to myself, you know, this is crazy as crap.

And then on top of it, to make that the wife doesn't know, like the Teresa situation with Joe, as much as Teresa's a hardest, Teresa's the hardest working woman I've ever seen in Bravo.

Nobody works harder than Teresa.

But she signed something.

She didn't pay attention to Rita.

And whether she knew or not,

you can't go down the rabbit hole of crime for someone else.

You don't go to jail for someone else, even if it's your husband.

I agree, home kids.

You know, Bernie Madoff one-on-one.

You don't do that.

You don't do that.

It's like the Martha Stewart 100,000 no-stop lesson.

You use common sense.

There is no such thing as, oh, this is worth that.

Nothing is worth going to jail, getting sick, losing your soul over.

Nothing.

You know?

Common sense.

I agree 1 million percent.

What was the thing that you said when we were on a break that your grandma said that technology changed.

Oh, okay, so I love that.

My grandmother, well, actually, it was my mother that that said it when the apps came out.

It wasn't my grandmother because she was dead.

My mom said,

nothing has changed, okay?

The biology hasn't changed, just the technology.

So, meaning, like,

we were just getting into the apps when my boyfriend, David, who lived with me, the other David, lived with me, I met him on Plenty of Fish.

And Marcus, who met me.

You met him where?

On Plenty of Fish, the apps.

And Marcus, I never heard of this.

It was a website and an app.

Okay, so Marcus created swipe right, swipe left.

This is a true story.

He's Canadian.

And Marcus was a genius.

And he invented this swipe life sorry.

And it was this game called Meet Me.

If you swipe right, hands up, meet me if you swipe left.

And you could also put them on a maybe.

There was a maybe.

Oh, okay.

I'll come back to you later.

So Marcus invented this.

Match.com bought it for like $465 million.

He was the first one.

And I met David on that.

It was like an app.

It was a website with an app attached, but it wasn't full app yet.

So

my mother said, this is the future.

Just like when we went on the internet, when I worked at Great Expectations, I went to them and I said, listen, it's very similar to Blockbuster and Netflix.

You need to get on the internet.

There's match.com.

There's another website called Matchmaker.

You need to be the solo house of dating.

Let them pay five grand a month.

They don't have to, you'll lose your overhead.

So you'll save money.

You have the database, okay?

You've got pictures, you've got videos, and then everybody do this from their home.

Well, I worked with them for like 10 years and they told me I'm crazy as crack we're gonna get new computers for the office and I go why why do you need computers the overhead's killing you like you don't understand salespeople are leafing left and right because the commissions aren't high enough and they were like no no you're nuts you're nuts you're nuts so then what happens right mash.com swoops and people start spending less money because they could find it on their own yeah then Mitchell the owner I said he says to me we need to do video dating and I said it will never work because people can't lie and hide they can't lie their weight they can't like their price place.

And he goes, but then in COVID, everything has its time and its place.

It took off.

Like, I literally wrote to Whitney at Bumble and said, you need to put video dating because we're going to be here a while.

We're going to be here a while and nobody's going to be able to date.

And so they did video dating.

They put it in-house, just like Match.

So Match doesn't make its own date on apps.

Match acquires them.

And so Marcus did this, and Marcus said, listen, you met David on.

I want to pay you X amount of dollars.

I'm going to show you the face of the app.

GMA flew me in, announced it.

It was a big deal.

And then he sold the app.

He sold the app.

Now he's in the furniture app business.

And so he said, listen, you know, apps, it's not an easy business.

And I said, but there's only like eight good ones that you use.

And so I said I wanted to create the next great app because I have an idea that nobody has because I am a matchmaker.

This is what I do for a living.

It's not super likes and boots and ads.

I love these.

I want to be like the app that cares.

I like the service.

And I like the camera.

So it's like taking the matchmaking and using app as the technology to get you there.

It's very similar to Black Mirror where they had the soulmate episode.

I think it's called Kill the DJ or something like that.

It's very similar to that.

And so I said, I have an idea, but I don't know anyone in the industry.

I don't know anyone in tech.

Like, this isn't my thing.

So I said, this is like, you know, I'm looking for partners that want to do this because I know what is needed.

I've dated on the apps.

I have a boyfriend from the apps.

And I'm a matchmaker.

I don't think you get a better idea than that.

I don't think you do.

Amazing.

Before I let you go, do you think there are certain people that are unmatchable that you would meet somebody who says, forget?

And it's not an autistic person and it's not a handicapped person.

Yeah, no, I'm not talking about it.

This is somebody so psychologically defunct that

looks in the mirror, mirror, mirror on the wall.

Who's the fairest of them on me?

But I treat people like shit.

I shit on them.

I burn them to the ground.

I'm such a narcissist, such a sociopath.

I only care about myself.

You know, I chop them up in 50 pieces, spit them out, and then I still call them on a Monday to ask them if I can.

Okay, they have no self-awareness.

Right.

And I've met a million of them, and I literally say, I can't do it.

So you'll turn them all to a moment.

I say to them, you don't need a mashmaker-ye needed therapist.

I love that.

And I refer them to psychologists and psychiatrists, depending on their medication needs.

They might be on medication.

And I said, if you're in Lexapra, you're in Paxa, whatever, I got to send you a psychiatrist versus a psychologist because their chemistry in their brain is so self-absorbed, there is no room in the room for an awful lot of people.

I think we all have met some of those every now and again.

Right, and then you just say, How are they so not self-aware?

So they don't hit bottom like an alcoholic, and they don't realize how much pain and suffering they've caught with.

Because a lot of times, you know, the spider will catch the fly in the net.

Yeah.

And it's an innocent little fly.

Yeah.

And the fly doesn't know that they're being caught.

The fly thinks the spider is going to be their friends.

Like the tortoise and the

hare.

The hair gets on the tortoise, or the hair gets on the tortoise, right?

And the tortoise goes, Oh, I'm going to take you to the other side.

And he's like, Oh, we're going to be best friends, and then stings you.

And he goes, Why'd you sing it?

Because that's what hairs do.

Yeah, it's the sociopath and the narcissist do this on purpose.

Now, can you put two narcissists and two sociopaths together?

Oh, that's an interesting match.

I've done that before,

that is crazy.

I've done that, and that's a TV show.

That I've seen that I sell to Netflix, I sell that to Netflix as a major series, and it's called You.

You, it's called You.

The last season of you, those two were the, it was the best season of you, the Emmy.

Because both of them were sociopaths.

Both of them.

And they're justifying where they're killing because when he cuts his finger off, sorry, spoiler alert.

When he cuts off his finger, and you're going, so he can put the blame on her so he can get out alive.

You're just going,

oh my God, I'm so bummed she's dead because

I want to see more sociopaths.

You're incredible.

I love you.

There are people like that.

Even with all my heart.

By the way, I have to say, and I'm saying with all my heart, because I don't know how to lie, you gave me the perfume, matchmaker.

Matchmaker, I often got my bio.

I'm in love with myself.

I can't stop smelling.

So listen, so if you're on a budget,

the thing they put on the perfume.

No, but other than the pheromone, something that makes the perfume stick in your skin.

It's the pheromone.

It's the pheromone.

It's days and days.

It's a party with the perfume.

You can go to the roller ball.

It's so good.

You can go to Samora's Roller Boyl, and you can pick out your favorite person.

I'm saying the domain won't stay, and it won't give you the person.

So this one is for women.

Do you have one for men?

I have men and I have gay women.

Where can people buy it?

They can go to ioflove.com, E-Y-E, or they can go to my bio

and click Matchmaker.

You can either get a travel size, small size, or you can get a ball-size.

You got a ball size.

Plus, we won an award for the diamond.

It is gorgeous.

It looks like a diamond.

I'm going to do a little video and put it on my Instagram for you guys because I already loved you before I met you.

Now I'm like, you're insanely fabulous.

We have to do another one because I know I'm going to get like 10 million questions.

I open and talk to you guys because I get really good.

I get too.

Like, thank you with all my heart.

Yeah, I'm trying to learn something.

I'm going to think about everything that you tell me and like self, you know, reflection, debate smarter people.

No, here's what I want you to do.

I want you to think like a lawyer.

Let's talk about that like a lawyer.

I want two things before I go.

Okay.

One, you're going to think like a lawyer.

Is this a good business deal or not?

Would I get off the market to be exclusive for this business deal?

I love that.

Or would I continue dating?

Is this investment worth my time?

I love that.

And if you take your heart out of the situation, you will be clear-headed.

And your body, like you said, you know, take maybe take the body out of the heart.

It's the whole thing.

Yeah, yeah.

It's the whole thing.

So now you take that out of the situation.

You're going to make the right decision.

The second thing is you need to practice flirting.

Flirting in public.

because matching online

matching online should only be 20% I agree no that I do do a lot because I meet a ton of people you know I go to events online how really when's the last time you liked a guy oh two nights ago and what happened did you take your number yes I get like that's one funny thing about me I get tons and so what's good about what's bad about

some for different reasons than are the right guy what is the right guy what's your non give me two non-negotiables right now before we end It has to be very successful.

How much money do they need to make a year?

It's not even the money.

It's more like ambitious, successful.

What's the second thing?

Energetic.

What's the second thing?

Energetic.

I don't want some guy that sits on the couch getting fat and watching TV all day.

I don't want a loser.

You want an athletic one.

Yeah, because I'm crazy energetic.

Okay, great.

So

stick to the two non-negotiables.

Thanks for having me.

Thank you.

It was fantastic.

You're amazing.

Thank you.

This was an amazing cat on the loser.

I'll see you guys again very soon.