BRAZILIAN ACTRESS AND COMEDIAN JADE CATTA PRETTA

Okay,

this is an extra, extra, extra special episode of Carondeleuz.

Number one, because this girlie here sitting next to me is crazy, crazy talented, crazy gorgeous, and Cherry on the cake, she's Brazilian.

I love it.

So I'm going to introduce you first of all.

I'm going to say your name.

We would say in Portuguese Jadgi.

Jadgi.

Catapre.

And here they call you Jade.

Jade.

Catapreta.

I wish I didn't switch it.

Well, first of all, welcome to Cat on the Loop.

Thank you.

I am so honored that you're here with me.

I really wanted to meet you, not just because you're Brazilian, but I fell in love with your work.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm saying it.

No, when you're going here, I'm saying it like from the bottom of my heart.

Because in general, I don't want to be mean to other comedians out there.

They're going to kill me.

But you know how sometimes you watch comedians and you don't think they're funny and you kind of want to.

But it's subjective, you know what I mean?

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

But it has happened to me many times in the past.

When somebody told me about you, I started watching the videos and I'm not kidding, I'm not trying to kiss you, I started laughing my ass off.

I'm like, she's organic.

That's making my life.

She's real.

That's my life.

This chick, I want to meet her.

So I'm like crazy, crazy, like honored, and I'm like a fan.

No, same, same.

I'm a fan.

I'm always craving Brazilian friends, you know, and like women in the industries.

I know.

They think that there's so many of us, but we don't come together as much as we do.

We do not.

I'm making more of an effort.

Amen.

And we were saying,

I don't even know any Brazilian girls here in LA.

Maybe one.

It's hard not to speak Portuguese here.

I like what they're doing.

Go for it.

Let's do it by 11.

I feel like there's probably Brazilians here today.

Today?

I don't know.

I just want to come over here and buy hot girls.

Any teddy.

I know this place, a lot of hot guys.

Yeah, we're doing this episode live from the Soho warehouse in downtown LA because, as I was telling you, we are organic.

It's real life.

So we are talking like if we were just meeting, girls talk, chick talk, and we decided let's do it at the Soho warehouse.

This place is beautiful.

Look at everybody.

And it's a cool day, and we're not sitting.

We should be sitting there.

We should have been having a lot of people.

Tell them we're in a bikini.

We're in a bikini.

Maybe next one.

Look at this couple right here.

They're hot.

You guys can't see them, but this guy's rocking a little mustache.

This is one thing I love about the Soho House.

First of all, it's great networking, but people are always good looking.

They like living the life.

I don't even think these are LA people, though.

I think it's people visiting LA.

I think so.

Because this one is a hotel.

Yeah, right, right, right.

So there are a lot of people from out of town.

I just think it's beautifully decorated.

I think it's really good.

It really

I'm not gonna tell you guys that you should come see it when you come to Chalet because it's uh members only.

But if you have a friend who is a member, you should come see it.

Okay, so let's rock and roll because, like I said, I got dozens of questions for you, and I have a hundred questions for you.

So, we're gonna have to like uh speed this up so I can squeeze in as much as possible.

And if you guys listen to some noise, it's the organic noise of the Soho house, bar, and restaurants.

People networking, people chit-chatting, showing deal.

Yes, exactly.

So, Jade, Jade,

you're an actress, you're a comedian,

and you're from Brazil.

It's tough to get in this industry.

It's really, really tough.

So, can you tell us a little bit about your background?

How long you've been here?

How did you find out?

Like, I think, I guess I have like 10 million questions in

how did I land at a comedian.

Am I an actress first, or am I a comedian?

Because you are crazy funny, but you're

a crazy good actress, and you're gorgeous, which probably makes it tougher in this industry.

You live in my pocket.

pocket she is

can you come with me after this you guys can go see one of my clients by the way you have to meet him

his name is nicholas hi nicholas he's a crazy talented singer and he's also funny as shit who can sing like and he saw your pictures this morning he's like she's the hottest comedian i've ever seen

oh my god please tell other people that everybody agrees

man looks do not help you go back to the question how did you can you tell us the story the origin story yeah the origin how did you end up here I originally wanted to be on Broadway that was like the dream okay when you were in Brazil because you grew up here in the United States yeah so I moved to Charlottesville Virginia when I was 12 so like in Brazil when I was like a kid I was already in dancing like I wanted to do like ballet and yeah and I thought it was because I had rhythm but my parents actually did it because I have really bad scoliosis really so they wanted me to like have a strong core and I don't I'm like a turtle

so I did that and then I came out to LA after college wanting to be like on Broadway and acting and like I was really obsessed with acting and I did not like stand-up comedy.

So it was totally your calling from the get-go.

From the get-go, I wanted to dance, I wanted attention, I wanted to like, I just liked, I liked a reaction out of people, you know what I mean?

And my sister was really naturally like outgoing and charismatic and I wasn't, I had to work very hard.

Like I didn't have rhythm.

Really?

Very skinny kid, very awkward kid, overthinker, you know?

Still am, but I've just gotten good at hiding it.

And so I got into dance, did Dance forever came out to LA and I got a job at National Lampoon hosting, like a little hosting job.

Right away.

Yeah, it was like a shitty like web for the web.

You auditioned?

Yeah, I auditioned.

My friend was interning there from Emerson.

And the director was a comic, this guy named Sandy Danto.

And he worked at the comedy store at the time.

He was Pauli Shore's assistant for a long time and a great comic.

He was like, you should do comedy.

You have a rhythm in your whole, like, you should try it.

And I was like, I would rather kill a baby.

I was like, I don't want to.

I would rather do that.

Yeah, I will, Because I went to Emerson and there was a lot of comics at my school, like already doing it.

Like Eliza Schlesinger was already doing it when I was in college.

So I just felt overwhelmed by the art form and I felt like it was like, I don't know, kind of sadistic.

It's crazy.

It's tough.

It's tough, you know?

Like acting is already insanely difficult, right?

You need to have like thick, thick skin.

Now, I think the comedian part of it makes it like 10 million times harder.

And we were saying it's a men's world exactly and when I started he was like oh so I went to the comedy store with this guy Sandy and I just fell in love with the place and then I started bartending there like a day after and no female comics were allowed to work there no way when was that 2008 are you serious they are there no way was that legal

it just they didn't they just weren't like it just hadn't happened before there was not a lot of female comics who wanted to work there but everybody that worked there was a comic and I was like I want to work here like I want to do the door and listen to comedy and

But it was really the comedy store that drew me in.

There was something like I romanticized the building and like the people that had been there.

And my dad was really into stand-up comedy.

And so I think it was deep down, like, oh, my dad loves this.

And so I started comedy that year, and I never stopped.

Wow.

But truly, in my heart, I am like an actress and a theater kid.

So, rewind.

You started being doing comedy.

How do because you, I don't, I, I'm an as an outsider, I don't think it's something you you can teach someone

because it kind of comes natural to you.

I think some people are really naturally gifted and charismatic.

To be fun you have to it has to come from the natural thing.

I think you can learn it.

I think so.

I know you know after doing comedy for 14 years I was really struggling because I just put out my special.

I just put it out.

Please go watch.

Yeah tell people.

We're gonna tell you guys everything but I just put out the special and I was feeling very uninspired by the jokes because they didn't feel like me anymore.

I knew they worked.

But you write your own jokes.

Of course, yeah.

You write your own

shirt.

Yeah, yeah.

And do you memorize it or it's organic when you're there?

I'm, uh, well, I know the jokes, so like, I'll write the one word in a list, you know?

But sometimes I like to go, what is gonna happen?

Like, let's just see what happens.

And then other times I'm more

calibrated with this.

Because I see some of your stuff and it seems like you just came up with, like, for example, I just saw today, I think you posted a little piece of it on your Instagram.

I'm making fun of the Hawaiian.

Yes.

Yeah,

that just comes.

This guy was sitting at the audience and like, oh, you're

having a break from Trader and

Hawaiian shirt.

I was like, what are we doing?

And you're like, oh, I'm so sorry.

I have one too.

I have one.

I'm like, this has to be coming from her mind.

Yes, some of the, like, that's what I like about stand-up, those little moments that are like these little improv moments.

But yeah, I have a hard time with writing.

Like, I'm not going to lie.

Like, writing is really hard for me, like, sitting down and writing.

So oftentimes I'll go like, I thought this was funny, I'll try it.

But then it won't work, and I'm like, I won't ever try it again.

Does it ever happen when you're in the the middle of the show and you feel like the audience is not laughing?

And you're like, Yeah, yesterday I had a thing like that where it was like, it was taking more energy than I had.

And I was like, ugh.

So oftentimes when that happens, I'll go to a song, like a funny song or a rap.

Because I'm just like tired and I just want to do something to keep them entertained.

Some audiences are tougher than others.

Yeah, like I did this weed show yesterday, which I love, but like everyone's super stoned.

And like, so you have to be a little extra at L Cid to hold.

Yeah, yeah, I've heard of it.

They do a great show called The Lit Show.

My buddies run it.

And it's a great show, but like, yeah, when people are stoned, you have to have a little more energy so they're not like, you know,

falling asleep.

But yeah, I just fell into stump.

But after doing comedy for 14 years, I decided to take a comedy class for the first time because there was always that part of me that's like, if you're not doing it and you're not going to open mics, like, you can't learn it.

Like, there's no, you don't already have it in you, like, what are you doing?

But the class helped me tremendously.

Really?

Yeah, like, just in helping me find structure structure and also find confidence and having support.

Because I grew up in an era where people were like, you're unfuckable, fuck you.

And now they're like, you're funny.

You know, like, I had people say, that joke is funny.

That works.

Go for it.

Where I never had that before.

So I feel like I was missing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think

when we're acting, you can say cut, cut, cut, cut a million times.

When you are doing comedy in front of an audience, it's alive.

Yeah.

So it's like do or die.

Yeah.

But once you die and nothing happens to you, you're like, oh,

I'm unstoppable.

Yeah, you're like, whatever.

I think you guys.

And then you go home and they, and then there's like great photos from the show.

Nobody knows you ate shit.

You know what I mean?

It's like, we did it.

I love your self-confidence.

It's not really confidence.

I think it's survival.

Survival.

I know.

I always say that it's like, just go with it.

Whatever.

I have to.

We learn from what we're doing.

Now, you have a show on Hulu called Hotties.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

I walked so

much so much.

So explain a little bit what it is and we'll talk about that.

I want to ask you a few questions about dating, of course.

Yeah, I love dating.

Love dating.

You guys should see her face.

It's like mine.

I love dating.

I want to die.

I want a few.

I mean, I would go on a few dates here today with these people.

Hotties is a hybrid dating cooking competition show where we have four people, two separate dates.

They're on a food truck preparing a meal during a date, which is already a lot of pressure.

Yes, major

and then every 15 minutes we feed them spicy stuff to just

saw that I was dying of a heart attack because I'm not much of a spicy

person.

You would murder me.

Me too.

And it was funny because you're like laughing so hard, but the pressure, because dating is hard enough.

And dating, the first date is major, major pressure.

Me and my best friend, we always talk about like, oh, the foods that I would never eat in front of a first date, the foods that I would eat in front of the first during people are like vomiting and then like you're putting two people there and on TV on top of all this pile of shit and pressure on TV like you gotta of course the girls are like I want to look cute right and I don't want to look like my tongue is on fire exactly so the pressure and then they have to eat this this food yeah and then there's the money incentive yeah well it's not too much money but yes there is still it's for a lot of people For me, it's a lot of money.

No, come on, but you know what I mean.

You have to split it.

But then you have to split it and there's taxes.

there is money, right?

There's money, but even if it's at the end of the game, it's like whatever, 200 bucks, yeah, but it's an incentive, there is, yeah, so they want to look good and they want to win.

But so, do you think they actually really care about dating each other?

You know, some people were like actually into each other, I think most people just wanted to win the money, you know what I mean?

That's what I mean, and not look like shit and TV

on TV.

But a lot of them didn't do either of those things.

But I think everybody was such a good sport.

Like, the contestants that we got, they were all so cool to go along with it.

Everything is in real time.

Like we didn't produce anything.

Like we didn't tell them to say anything.

Okay, so it's real.

What we see is really naturally happening.

As it's happening, I'm making comments.

Like we didn't have time to like stop, start.

Like we had a very short amount of time filming and it was in the desert.

I know.

So you guys, it's a dating show.

Yeah.

It's in the middle of the desert.

Yeah.

So I'm feeling hot.

We wanted it to be hot.

We wanted it to feel hot.

There's two trailers in the middle of nowhere in the desert.

And my trailer is very air-conditioned.

You looked really cool.

I said,

watching them from the monitor, laughing your ass off, like making this comment.

I love it.

I couldn't believe I was getting paid for it.

I know.

That's funny.

Because it was so fun.

Yeah, it wasn't really fun.

Who's your agent?

Hi, I Gersh.

Yeah, right.

Like, I mean, seriously, that's like a lot of people.

Well, the whole thing was like, I didn't think, I thought I did really bad at the audition because, you know how now we can't do auditions in person anymore, right?

Right, right.

So I got really good at being in person and making somebody laugh.

I'm more energetic in person.

Like, I don't read as well.

I think you're crazy energetic.

I'm just meeting you.

I agree.

Your energy is insane.

I love it.

But I think you're very energetic on your videos.

Oh, all the videos.

You're always like super upbeat and you're all out there.

Yeah, I just haven't been able to book a lot of theatrical work from, because you have to do audition tapes now, right?

It's super tough.

I haven't been able to get anything.

So I was like, I'll do a Zoom call for this.

And the director, Scott, shout out to Scott, he's awesome.

He like helped me do a tape.

But I was at my boyfriend's mom's house in the basement.

She's on the phone.

Like, there's a million things.

My old manager showed up, like, for no reason, by accident.

He was like, hey, am I supposed to be at this meeting?

We're like, no, oh my.

And so for days, I was like sick to my stomach thinking I did such a bad job.

Really?

Yeah, and I was like, tell me if I have lipstick on.

No, you don't.

Do I have lipstick on my teeth?

We're like looking at each other.

But I thought I ate shit and did bad and then I couldn't believe I got I was so sad because I thought it was such a fitting show for me it is it's perfect for me and I love food stuff so I was like full shit but then when I got it it was like it's it's we're going we're going all the way so you did one season yeah just one season okay you guys gotta watch it because yeah like I said for me it was all of my panics put in one show

all the first days panic eating spicy food honestly I don't think I could do because there was one thing like you did they didn't have water inside the trailer We had

ran inside and they were drinking from this little kiddie pool

So we put a bunch of stuff to help them but we didn't label any of them you didn't say

so they would be like chugging ranch and chugging like buttermilk and stuff

This is like one girl she tells the guy I'll be right back She leaves the trailer like she's she still wanted and it broke my heart cuz she's like she still wants to look hot in front of the guy hot meaning cute not like sweaty yeah and then she goes outside she's like

and they're like drinking water from the pool, and I was like laughing so hard.

Everybody ended up in the kiddie pool.

I was like, when they first said they were going to do like the kiddie pool, I was like, why are you guys doing that?

Like, nobody's going to go in a pool, you idiots.

And then everybody went in a pool.

Are you kidding me?

In the middle of the desert?

Yeah, it was hot.

But it actually wasn't like super, super hot outside when we filmed.

There was like a couple days that was like freezing.

Yes.

It was like movie magic, right?

Yeah, movie magic.

It was just a cool experience all around.

Like, I had just done the soup, posted the soup.

and um whatever happened to that show i love it it got cancelled yeah really cancelled yeah but covet had a lot to do with that you bring the soup back with jade oh my god if we bring it back with somebody else it's over i started yeah no it has to be jade there has to be jade it has to be jade but uh i felt very like i didn't really get to be myself on the show like as free with like my looks what i said yeah really because it was a brand you know yeah and so and i i was very like whatever you guys want whatever you guys want and then on this one they just have to double your pick Yeah.

I wish they let me do whatever on Hathi's.

Like, I hired my own hair and makeup team.

Got to be like, do really crazy looks, which they never let me do.

And so I hope we get a second season and we can like do it all over again.

It's moving more and more.

And I don't know if you agree with me, but I see the most successful shows are moving more and more towards more organic things as

produced.

I think people are sick.

That's at least

my listeners, my audience on Instagram and on Cat on the Loose They tell me what they like about is that I try to make it as real as possible people are so sick of this scanned shit, you know like

Scripted cut cut cut cut, you know real life many times is more fun, right?

I agree.

Especially if you let your personality shine through and I love reality TV.

I do too.

And people hate it and they think it's like lowbrow, but I think there's something fascinating about the psychology.

I think even the haters like it, but they don't want to admit that they like it.

I love it, man.

There's not a reality show show that i won't watch exactly like i it's a guilty pleasure but even the ones that you see like it's a total train wreck like why are you doing this why are you showing this shit on tv but it's still

yeah there's so much people do on tv i mean remember when reality first started and it was like tele tequila and those shows like they do so much shit that we cannot do anymore like we can't there's a certain amount of alcohol you can give people now on tv we weren't able to give them any alcohol because of where we shot it was at vasquez Rock, so they were like, no alcohol.

Really?

But like on these early shows, like girls were like, remember that girl in Rocka Love, she shit herself on TV?

Like, you can't do that shit anymore.

Yeah.

Yeah, now I think that's our control.

There's a lot of scrutiny.

So instead of being more liberal, they keep cutting it back and back and back.

They have to do it because they keep getting sued by these people.

It's like, you're the one who shit yourself.

They make you sign like

drank.

Shouldn't have wasted on TV.

I thought you were talking about that one.

Well, my boyfriend is on a reality show.

Oh, yeah.

That's why I missed your boyfriend.

He's not like a fan.

And you were talking on the podcast about flirting with a hot man here.

No, he doesn't care about flirting.

I'm very loyal.

Yeah, I know.

I love that you said that, by the way, because the big difference between flirting and looking at beautiful people and cheating.

Exactly, because I'm a million percent loyal as well.

We're always like, she's hot, he's hot, she's hot.

That dog's hot.

It's nice looking at beautiful people.

I agree.

Men and women, yeah.

Yeah, I don't get caught up on that.

I used to be very jealous in my last relationship.

Really?

Mary.

Always was because I didn't understand that I wasn't like comfortable in the relationship.

Like, I'm finally comfortable in the relationship.

How long have you been dating?

It's almost three years, so

and I met him because of the soup because he was on reality.

No, no, he's in finance.

Okay.

He works with a hedge fund, finance guy.

Brilliant.

But he's super hot, so you would never think that, you know what I mean?

You're like,

yeah, he's very, very hot.

He did really good.

Yeah, he's very street and very smart.

And I met him because he happened to do a reality show because somebody found him on Hinge.

Like, you know, the

tempt, which is disgusting.

Oh, my God.

Really bad.

It is really bad.

Really bad.

It is really good.

And he looked really different.

And then they did, like,

a follow-up show called

Rock of Love.

No, no, it was Peak of Love.

I don't know.

I never heard of that.

It's another like shitty show.

Nobody wants to be able to do it.

But did he want to be on TV or he just really wanted to meet someone?

He was like out of a relationship and just kind of like, YOLO, you know?

Like you only live once.

Like I met him.

Totally.

Somebody approached him to be like, do you want to be on this show?

And he was like, yeah.

I'm going to meet some hot chicks.

My best friend was writing on the show, Justine Marino, another great comic, and she ran into my office and was like, oh my God, look at this guy on this cliff.

You're going to want to fuck him.

And I was like, I do want to fuck him.

And then COVID happened, so we never met.

So we started FaceTiming every day, all day.

And we met during the pandemic.

I met him at the airport for the first time.

So it was your first first date, so you were like video dating?

Yeah, we had sex on like FaceTime for the first time.

That's kind of interesting.

That's cool.

We were both on mushrooms.

But does he live here in LA?

Yeah.

He lives here in LA.

So you guys were literally like just being safe and didn't want to meet for a while.

Yeah, well, we did it and everyone was like, you're crazy.

Because he was living in Texas at the time.

And it was like the worst place to be with COVID, but probably.

We traveled back and forth nonstop just to see each other.

That is so interesting.

And how long were you on

video dating before you met?

Probably like a couple months.

A couple months.

Wow, that's crazy.

I was scared.

Because I was scared to meet him at the airport.

What did he smell bad?

I know.

And when I met him, he had kind of like a broken tooth right here.

When you met him on video in person?

Like in video, like I didn't notice at first and then I was like, wait, wait, does he have a little fucking fucked up tooth?

I was like, oh my god, he does.

So he got that fixed.

And then broke it again eating pizza.

And I was like, wow.

So when you met him in, yeah, because like you can be super hot with each other on video but like you said smell camera I was scared

but he was so confident that it made me more confident he's like we're good I'm like okay we're good

yeah we were good so when you saw him at the opera you're like yeah yeah

it was cool it was such a I still remember the moment and we couldn't go anywhere I couldn't introduce him to my friends it was like very COVID at the time and so we would just go like on walks a lot and hike

and so he moved here for you so he moved back here yeah

that is very romantic even though we are in a very tiny apartment, so oftentimes I'm like, go ahead and go away a little bit.

Yeah.

But yeah, I feel very lucky because it's just a totally different relationship than what I've had.

I've had a lot of toxic

industry relationships.

So it's nice that you have to date outside of the industry.

Well, honestly, I never dated an actor.

I grew up in the entertainment industry.

My dad was a TV producer.

Really?

Yeah, so I was like the TV baby.

But honestly, I never even tried dating actors because I don't think I have a lot of actor friends, all the respect I love

you guys so much.

We love to look at you.

Exactly, but I don't think the personality was.

It's a lot of validating.

But let me ask you a question, see if you agree with me.

In general, a lot of men are intimidating dating girls like us.

Was that the case with you before your boyfriend?

Because our work is public.

Whether in my case it's the podcast now and your case

and everything, a lot of guys in the beginning, they say like, oh, I'm totally cool with it and then they're now when they see it our exposure everything they're like oh fuck this i've definitely had that before but he yeah he's just really he lets me be he lets me have the spotlight he's very like introverted but he's very uh confident and very confident with it right very confident he's more con he i need his confidence to have confidence like i'm more confident because of him

confident wow i you make it so well like when i see you on stage it's like this stage is my bitch i like the stage i I see you there.

Like, I'm like, wow, I want to be like, all right.

You are.

I'm not kidding.

No.

Yeah, no, I couldn't beat it.

But

I wish that my thoughts were.

I am funny, like, in my normal life, I think, but I could never, like, I think I would totally freeze.

I don't know how to tell jokes.

Yes, you do.

I never memorize jokes ever.

But then once you get one joke, and then you can feel, you can taste the blood, it's over.

You're

part of horror for the rest of it.

Oh, my God.

You get like addicted to it because I read this study where they did like heart monitors on several different people.

It was like a waiter, a firefighter, a runner, a comedian, and like one other, like a clown or some performance.

And the most close heartbeats and adrenaline rushes were the firefighter and the comedian.

Really?

So like the adrenaline that you get is intense.

Yeah.

Because like even like tonight I'm in the comedy store.

It's what 300, 400 awesome.

Oh at eight.

Oh my god.

We're gonna come up with this.

Maybe I'll bring Nicholas.

I really want to Nicholas is my client who's a fabulous singer and he's so funny and he's dying too much.

Oh yeah, so come out and

I'm opening the room so it's not as fun because you have to like be really big.

You can't be as loose.

You know, you have to like really do bits.

Loose meaning like loose meaning like what's going to come up.

Like you have to be more planned for these sets which are harder for me.

But don't you think it's better to be in the beginning because the audience is not tired?

Oh yeah, you have to get ready to have fun.

I hate when people don't talk to the audience and just go straight into jokes.

I'm like, what do you do?

Like you have to foreplay a little bit.

Get me wet.

Like I gotta like...

And when you do these shows, can you like, are they X-rated?

Can you say whatever you want or they tell you to?

No, there are clean shows.

There's a place called Comedy and Magic Club that's in Hermosa or like and it's Jay Leno's club and they they prefer because it's like older people there and all that type of stuff.

I don't know if I'll be able to control my mouth because I have such I've been trying to be more polite and not swear as much.

But I don't think Chrissy is that unpolite.

I agree.

I think that people that think that are

kind of

I just want to be a lady,

especially now that I'm dating somebody so special.

I want to like, you know, not

a lady.

But I curse like a sailor, you know.

I don't even know.

I want that to go away.

One of the dirtiest cursing is on the planet.

You know, it's like...

Okay, let's normalize curse.

Because I read another thing that said that most geniuses curse more.

So it's like, hey, we're a genius.

We're not adults.

We're not a genius.

I will fucking quote you on that one.

I am dying to go watch you live.

Okay, so we're going to take a two-minute break and we'll we'll be right back with Jade Jaji.

This is so much fun.

And she's gorgeous in person by the way.

Katerina.

Katerine.

Katerine.

Because my dad was friendly.

So, don't laugh at me, but it's actually Catherine Paris.

Stop.

I know, it's so cheesy, but when people, a lot of people laugh, they're like, are you really a Paris?

I'm like, yeah, I'm a Paris.

I have my best friend's name is Paris, and her twin sister's name is Chardonnay, so that's even worse.

Her sister's twin first name?

One is paris the other is chardonnay first name chardonnay okay she wins yeah and then her dad was like at least it's not ford and beer we're like i guess chardonnay yeah okay she wins we'll be right back with jade zagi yay live from the soho warehouse

This episode of Canon De Luz with Jade Carapreta is kindly sponsored by Girly a la mode.

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extended sabi uh-huh

we're talking a little bit in Portuguese I was asking about her family if you have any family in Brazil I don't have any more family in Brazil my mom died a few years ago

and I haven't been back because she was really the only connection I had with Brazil you have to go back it feels good there like I can't explain it people which city are you from Sao Paulo yeah that's where my I was born in São Paulo yeah my mom was born in São Paulo yeah I love it I feel very...

I can't explain how to do it.

It's a little scary to me, really.

In São Paulo, yeah.

People are always like, be careful.

And I'm like, just don't wear

jewelry.

I was a victim of nasty crime, and I don't even want to talk about that now.

But yeah, like 20 years ago,

so I still have the, yeah, they came inside my parents' aparm and la.

Long story, I'll tell you later.

So to this day, when I'm there, I have this trauma.

I can be like in the fan, I can be at the fazano, like the fancest five-star hotel with bodyguards around me.

And we go to the restaurant and they tie my bag around, you know, the Figuera.

It's one of my favorite restaurants on the planet.

It's so fucking gorgeous.

And the food, I love the place.

And then you go there with the bodyguards and they tie your purse around the chair.

Yeah.

And the first time they did that, I was like, whoa, what are they doing?

And my mom was like, okay, don't freak out.

But sometimes

these kids, these kids, they call it, what do they call it in parts?

It's like a wave or something?

What?

No, I don't know.

Yeah, there's like Onda, some, Ask somebody.

Yeah, I don't know.

A bunch of kids come like

crashing.

I forgot the name.

And then they take a bunch of purses and shit.

I would never, like, in Brazil, like, I would never take this purse.

Like, you always take a new

body.

Yeah.

You have to put it around your body.

They like

cut your neck off.

Yeah, I've been robbed a few times, but it's usually like little kids.

And then this is the trick.

You keep a wallet on you with just a few dollars.

And you know,

you're supposed to look like shit.

But this is the thing that makes me me sad about Brazil because it's one of the most fabulous countries in the world.

The food is phenomenal.

Obviously, the guard girls are like hella.

You guys that date Brazilian girls are so fucking lucky.

It's not even funny.

We're the best in bed.

We're the best out of bed.

We look the best out of bed.

The best in bed.

We love sex.

We're funny.

I mean, hello, right?

And you go there and people are crazy nice.

They're very welcoming.

The food is insane, but it breaks my heart you know like well you just have to be careful you just have to go to certain you can't be alone in certain areas

and I don't know if that was Bolsonaro is like depressing

how they're making everybody Christian there.

We can do a 10 hour show about the president right?

It's kind of like in the United States with Trump 50% of the country loves and adores him.

It's all the evangelical

think he's disgusting, right?

I think he's disgusting.

I was there in Rio doing comedy when he got stabbed.

Oh he got stabbed?

I didn't even know.

what he was doing.

And it was like a bullshit thing because, like, some guy stabbed him, and then right away, the guy was like, from a favela, but he had the best lawyer.

So it's like,

I think it was to make people feel bad for him.

Oh, he got stabbed.

Seriously?

Yeah, playing on, you know, because in Brazil people are very,

I don't know, caring, you know, like very, I think, maternal.

Like, people are very maternal and they want to take care of you and stuff.

So when they see somebody in pain, it's not like, fuck them.

It's like, oh, no, you know?

I always thought that I was just like that, like, like very touchy.

And then going back to Brazil, I went back in 2017 three times.

I was like, oh my god, I feel so

validated.

Really?

I was like, I'm not weird.

Everybody here is like this.

But that's, to me, honestly, I feel weird when I'm there.

I don't know.

But do you feel good in Paris?

I feel exactly.

I feel like at home when I'm in Paris.

I walk the streets of Paris.

It's almost bizarre, like a different life experience.

Like I kind of know the sidewalks.

That's why I feel real.

I feel I'm like, I've I'm not in Sao Paulo and I think when I was married my husband was Italian and he looked very Brazilian so we would go to places like literally we would walk into my mom's restroom and they thought her employees thought he was her son and they thought I was the foreign foreign life and it would really piss me off and I'm like by the way there are Brazilian girls that are blonde by the way there's not one look I hate when people are like what are Brazilian supposed to look like it's crazy

what is it yeah so let's talk about that for a second because a lot of people send that question Yeah, we are Brazilians.

We're Latins.

Yeah.

In the entertainment industry, in the toughest spot in the world, Hollywood.

Do you feel it's harder for you as a Latin performer to open doors or you never saw that in your career?

No, you know, because for a long time I don't think I ever really talked about being Brazilian in my stand-up because it was kind of like a private thing for me and now I'm more talking about it.

Private because you want to protect your privacy or you thought it was?

I just didn't, I wasn't good at writing about stuff like that yet.

Like I I mostly just talked about sex and farts you know like I just was like easy everybody's favorite

but I think that now that I feel very like in control and very proud of being Brazilian and I talk about it more people don't hire me because I don't look Latin whatever their idea of Latin is right like standard

is the idea of because they all say that to me yeah like oh my god you're not Russian and

you don't I'm like well I look a lot like my mom although she had like much darker skin

but I'm happy when you just told me when you walked in that I looked Brazilian because 99.9% of people in LA, they tell me.

But we know.

Yeah, it's healing.

Yeah, of course.

It's half of my heritage and I'm proud of it.

I don't think I should hide it at all.

Yeah.

I hate it, but just because it's like Hollywood wants to include more Latin people, yet they have to look this stereotypical.

Exactly.

So how do we deal with it?

Do you feel it opens more doors when you say you're Brazilian or it makes it worse or what does your agenda?

I think I often read as white or whatever white, like Jewish white.

That's what everybody thinks I am.

So it's frustrating because like the other day I was up for this.

Are you Jewish?

No, but I have like very Jewish personality traits, you know?

And I have a very thick, like my accent is like very Jewish.

Yeah, because you definitely don't have the Brazilian accent anymore.

No, only when I get really fucked up.

And it comes back.

But I think that it's like frustrating because I want to, like, that's who I am, but oftentimes they're like, she's not Latin or she's not.

like i was up for an israeli role and they were like no the girl an israeli what role role in a movie in a show yeah

and they were like an american show an american show

and they were like it's not we don't we want to pick an actual israeli girl i'm like it's acting

like what is

the speed i know it has been frustrating because i people don't consider me latin even though i'm not born in this country literally my children are going to be first generation yeah and they don't consider me like they did a brazil show for the Netflix Festival and they didn't include me.

It was heartbreaking.

A Brazilian show for the USA Netflix.

Yeah, and they brought all these Brazilian comics out.

They did not include me?

They did not include me.

Are you serious?

And it was heartbreaking.

Because I'm like, I'm the only Brazilian comic that's actually working here.

And

you're the only one known here in Hollywood.

You're working in Hollywood.

I always want to be friends with Anita.

I know me.

I met her.

Yeah.

When was it?

It was in the middle of the pandemic.

So

I don't think it was last year, the year before.

Time goes by so freaking fast, but I was in Miami.

It was the opening of a hotel.

She's best friends with the hotel owners.

Wives.

I just want to know her.

And they invited me, because I'm a member of the Brazilian International Press Association.

Nobody knows that.

I'm a journalist.

So they invited me to cover it.

But of course, there were like 10 million people, VIPs, journalists around her.

So I got to say hello to her for like two seconds.

and I put like I think a 10 second video of me and her on my Instagram and all of a sudden two hours later I had 500,000 best friends in Miami like right I want to be a I'm like you people like

I know you care about me

I just her energy it's so inside

she is breaking barriers because people think Brazilian there's not a

image that they can put with it and like somebody was telling me this the other day it's like you talk about sex all the time and it's insulting to people because they don't understand that's normal to you.

Exactly.

It's not taboo to me at all.

I'll tell a stranger about a rash on my butt.

You know, I'm like, I don't care.

Like, there's nothing that makes me feel uncomfortable except when people are not enjoying themselves and they're like, I know.

Why are you here?

That's interesting that you brought that up because it's the same thing with me.

I do a podcast about sex, dating, and relationships.

Sex is a huge part of dating relationships, and I get a ton of backlash, including from Instagram.

I keep getting messages from them, like, tone it down, don't talk about this don't say because you know their software picks up the word sex and they think I'm talking about porn.

I'm not talking about porn but I think it's crazy important to talk about sex.

And I've mentioned that before in a lot of my episodes that in our culture in Brazil we are very comfortable with our sexuality with women wanting to have sex and talking about sex.

I think in the United States in general, guys, I'm talking about in general, people are very uptight about it I agree yeah they're they don't because they're taught that right because they don't talk about it with their parents they don't talk about it you're dating an American yeah how is he about you his family is amazing they're very open so he's an exception oh yeah yeah like my ex's family was a little more like oh it was your ex-American show yes as well

from LA but this one is just yeah they're cool his family is cool so I don't care but it's rare yeah it is rare like King John because I was married to an American guy from Boston Italian guy and he was the most uptight I have sex Italians can be uptight.

Oh my geez.

Which is weird because they are so open to you.

I had the worst sex life of my life for 15 years.

Now I am definitely learning everything, having the best sex life.

What happened when you just got you were in love with the guy you got stuck in?

Yeah, you know when you get married and you date, well I dated for so many years, la la la crazy long story, you know, but yeah, and then you tangled up in it and and you get sucked in and you think, oh, I guess that's how it's supposed to be.

And then one day you wake up like, wait a minute, no, it's okay to want to have a relationship with fantastic sex it's okay to talk about it and it's okay to want to have yeah we're very open like I'm finally in a relationship that if he if he had anything to talk to me about or like if he wanted it to do anything with like maybe another pert like I'm very open to hearing it like I'm because I feel very comfortable I'm like you're my partner forever like it's you and me and if something were to happen or you wanted to do something weird like yeah I wouldn't be mad at you for being like well even if you say no right like the important thing is like you said if you're in a relationship it's really fun to be able to communicate about all of those things.

That's what I love about intimacy.

Now, with my guy, he, by the way, is not an American.

I'm not going to say where I'll tell you off camera because I want to protect his privacy because he's very private.

But what I love about him is that he's so confident.

When I told him I do a podcast about sex, he was like, whatever, go for it.

He's like crazy encouraged.

But that's how it should be.

Exactly.

And I love that about him.

And it's the same thing in bed.

We have like insanely, insanely fabulous sex.

I love that.

and he's willing to like if i say i want to do this he's like go for it go baby use my body

and i love it and i i like talking about it because i want all the girls out there that's how i feel i'm like taught because i don't like talking about sexists i'm like if you talked about it more or just said i don't like this or i more of it like all these girls have all these jokes about how guys are bad in bed or they do bad things i'm like but are you telling them what to do

but do you think maybe they're frustrated because they're like not dating the right guys?

But it's like, I feel like women don't really ever talk, like say, like, if somebody's going down on me and it's horrible, I'm going to be like, hey, hey, hey,

it is, right?

You know, like, I actually like it like this.

And I think, it's like even when you get a haircut, people don't talk to their hairdresser.

And then they get a bad haircut.

I'm like, just say something.

People are so scared to say what they want.

To communicate.

So what is your suggestion to, and I know the American girls are listening to this now and they're like, oh, you guys suck.

You're saying that we're bad.

We're not saying that all of you are bad in bed, but you are a little uptight, so we're trying to help.

We're saying people that are uptight, it will help if you just communicate it more.

That way, you can come.

Yeah.

Don't you want to come?

One million percent.

Yeah, I come a lot.

Thank God.

God bless my guy.

Yeah, he's fantastic.

I have long nails right now, so I'm really relying on that.

That department.

Oh, yeah, no, I always have long nails, yeah.

I need to cut them because I need a I love your nails, and your nail polish is insane.

She's wearing like this blue.

It's blue chrome.

It's blue chrome.

It's a periwinkle.

Periwinkle, but it's like shiny and sparkling.

I need to redo it.

You are crazy stylish.

And she's wearing like her little Gucci look.

But I feel like an asshole because I feel like we should be sitting by the pool wearing our bathing suits.

It's hot.

It is.

It's crazy.

But it would be kind of fun to be like having a drink, right?

I'm going to hold you up, and I'm going to be like, hey,

you are already invited.

There's a baby just chilling.

Oh my god.

You are 1 million percent invited to do like a second because I know I'm going to get like 10 million passions for you.

So you're invited invited to come do a second

leather pants and she looks so hot I know it's like didn't you got the mammoth like 97 no it's like 11 degrees you know like Aritzia has those skinny thin really thin legs hot that looks crazy crazy crazy

so before we run out of time let's get back to that so you talk a lot about science you're having a fantastic science life with your guy happy he's not intimidated at all when you're going to stand up and talk about science

he goes and he cheers you up and yeah he wants to come to shows all the time and I don't like like it.

I like being

I don't love like I'll invite people if they want to come really, but I don't know.

But does he mean if he's watching, do you feel more pressure?

Yeah.

And it's it and it shouldn't be there because he doesn't care.

Like he's always so like, you did great, you know, even if I should.

Yeah.

But like, I don't know, I just feel that extra pressure.

Like when my family comes, I get really?

I just, they matter the most to me.

So I don't know.

Are they crazy support of your family?

Crazy support.

Thank God.

That's like my whole family.

Oh my God.

And they're liking my posts all the time because

I call them, I'm like, you need to like this one.

Nobody likes it.

That is so sweet.

My sister, we like to get high and just write really, like, she writes really funny, generic comments.

Like, I can't believe I'm your sister.

Is she in the entertainment industry also?

No, no, no.

She's an artist.

But she works for a building company doing like their marketing and their design and stuff.

But she's like a very talented artist.

Oh, my God.

Awesome.

Just had a baby, so she's a mom.

Does she live here in LA?

Virginia.

So your parents and your sister in Virginia, you're the only one here.

I know.

Sometimes that's hard for me.

It's even hard to admit, but like, I often feel like, oh no, I want my family.

I feel lonely here in that way.

No, I hear you.

It's the same because now after my husband died,

my mom died a year before my husband.

So I feel like

my family are literally my two dogs.

I have dogs too.

I have a dog.

What kind of dog?

I have a two and a half year old Labrador, Phoenix.

He's crazy intelligent.

He thinks he's a person.

I think there's a little person living inside his head.

He's black and all my crazy cute.

And I have a 10-year-old little rescue chihuahua chiwanian chihuahua pomeranian stop that somebody abandoned on the streets to die and he's the cutest cutest little angel my dog cheryl is obsessed with pomeranian we gotta do like a little

she hates dogs but she sees pomerani and she goes you've not freaking no little bell my dog's amazing and by the way that's another thing that i love about that's little bellu

i've never seen a dog like that he's very rare and somebody tossed him on the street to die he was like

people that are horrible animals

there's nothing worse to me.

Me too.

Nothing worse to me.

I said that's one thing that I could become violent if I ever met the people that tossed this little angel on the streets to die.

He almost died by the time.

Mine was in a kill shelter as well.

My friend rescued her a day before she was supposed to die.

He has brain damage and everything because he's like this little horse.

She looks like a fox.

And by the way, I don't know if you agree with me.

I never trusted people that I date that don't like dogs or mistreat animals.

And that's another thing that I love, love, love about my guy.

My guy on a bike.

Together?

Yeah, okay, she spilled it.

I didn't spill it.

I never published these photos.

But he loves my dogs.

Yeah, that's true.

And my dog, Phoenix, is crazy, crazy.

I think that's a big thermometer for like

right.

If you girls are dating someone and they don't like your pet or they're mean to your dog or something.

They're a psychopath.

People that are mean to dogs, that's a real thing.

Sign for the hills, right?

Yeah, I agree.

I completely agree.

It's like disgusting.

So let's talk about your projects.

Hulu,

the entire first season of the show Hotties is out.

It's out now.

It's the second week or third week that it's out.

And so we're going to keep pushing it.

And hopefully we get a second season.

Oh, so you have, they haven't decided if they're going to do a second season.

So guys, please watch Hottis.

Please say hi.

Just put it in the background.

No, but listen, watch it.

Like I said, the pressure to me, I always hated going on first dates.

I hate the pressure first date.

I think every woman on the planet.

I like it.

And me and my my friend, like we were saying about food, me and my friend are like, I always have to pick foods that you know nothing is going to be stuck on your tea.

What's your first date?

Food that you go for?

Okay, so that's a funny story.

I'm going to tell you really quick.

Usually all my first dates were like dinner dates, fancy dinner.

This guy that I'm dating, the first time we met on a dating app and he was like, oh, do you want to go for coffee?

And I was like, fuck, I can't believe he's inviting me for coffee in the middle of the day.

I hate the people that do that to me.

I'm working.

I'm busy.

I'm like, he's not even putting the effort.

And I was like, okay.

I don't even know why I said okay.

I was probably bored.

And then he picked up, he was nice enough to come to Beverly Hills and he picked like this shitty, we didn't know it was a shitty coffee shop.

So the first day was horrible.

And then he calls me because I was running late and he's like, would you like a coffee?

And I'm like, sure, that's nice, right?

So he orders me this alafi.

And then I get, and I was starving, by the way, because it was two o'clock in the afternoon.

I didn't have any food the whole day.

And I get there, there's this ginormous croissant on the table.

And he's like, Do you want a piece of croissant?

And I wanted the croissant, number one, because I'm starving.

You're not gonna eat that?

Number one,

because I'm French, it's like on the top of my favorite food list.

And I'm like, no, thank you, because I'm like, I don't want the croissant crumbs

all over me in front of this hot guy.

That is so funny.

Can you imagine if it was spicy food?

So exactly.

So towards the very end of of the date, I'm like, I think I'm going to take a little bite of Russia.

And then I'm like, can I go to the bathroom?

And the girl's like, there is no bathroom in this coffee shop.

That is so rude.

And then they threw us out because they were closing.

So it's like a freaking disaster.

Like, Russia, you help me take a shit.

You're starving.

Exactly.

And believe it or not, we ended up going on a second date.

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la I like that.

I like a first date to be not dinner because it's like a long.

Now I guess I'm an advocate for it, right?

But I think this show, speaking of hotties, again, go watch it on Hulu because it's really fun.

And I want you to come back for a second season.

Like, I've never done a second season, by the way.

Well, this is the time we're manifesting it.

We are manifesting it.

We are freaking manifesting because this show is out of the box.

I agree.

I think it's a box.

It's a lot of things, different things.

And it puts the pressure on people.

But I felt bad for these girls having to eat all this spice.

But we're talking about serious

spies.

Okay, like scoval heat unit.

That's how you measure it.

She puts the little like graphic

unit scoval heat for people that don't know is like the it's a measurement of like how much capsaicin so capsaicin is what it releases in your body and it releases to your brain and your brain thinks you're in intense pain but in actuality nothing's actually happening well you're burning hot or something right you're sweating but that's what's happening your brain is like danger danger danger

but if you drink water it makes it worse it does yeah it makes it helps you spread the capsaicin you okay so the scofflet

so like tabasco is six thousand scoffo heat units let me fumbled a little bit oh yeah yeah the we were giving them stuff that was 500 000 to a million sculfo heat units oh my god yeah i saw you're like sitting on your gorgeous trailer

air conditioned trailer and you're you're telling people like the how many scuffles units these hot peppers have that people are gonna die and then they eat it and they're like dying they're like this girl her mascara was running

that's the girl who had problems with her stomach but she wanted to look and and i felt bad for her because she still wanted to look hot in front of the guy that guy had a superman tattoo on his chest like you know the s yeah yeah and we so he couldn't get shirtless and you saw on the show i'm kind of a pervertless because like the it's superman so it's like oh it's

copyrighted at trademark

so i was like why would you do that you have the hottest chest and now you can't be topless on tv like what an idiot.

How do you guys cast?

They cast it separate as me.

Yeah.

The casting director did an incredible job.

Everybody was hot and everybody was like down, you know?

Yeah.

Did anybody end up together?

I feel like two of the people are still hanging out.

I'm actually doing one of the contestants' podcasts this weekend, which I'm excited about.

I liked everybody.

I thought everybody was really cool.

They were a really good sport.

Like, because I felt bad for them.

It was a good thing.

I did chunk type, honestly.

I love the show, but I felt like I put myself in that situation.

Like, there's no way.

But you have to know they love it.

It's like they're getting exposure.

They're making money.

They're making good money for the day.

For sure.

For sure.

When I started, I would do like audience work.

I would be sitting in an audience for $60 for an eight hour.

I've done it all.

I've done it all.

I've done background, right?

I've done it all.

So at least this, like,

their name is featured.

Like, you can find them on Instagram.

You know, we connect to their social media.

So hopefully help them with exposure.

I love it.

So congratulations.

The show is amazing.

It's called Hotties on Hulu.

I hope you guys go watch it because she's incredible and we manifest that she's going to do a second season.

Hulu people, I hope you're listening.

Now, what else?

How the sky?

I know.

And it's hot.

I'm sweating because now we're sitting inside.

It looks so good.

The sun came out.

When I got here, it was raining and they said it was going to rain.

Yeah, it rained a full day.

It's a bit.

It was like two springs.

I wish I could spend the whole afternoon by the full light.

The live.

The live.

So what else do you have going on?

You go to New York?

I'm going to New York.

I have my special that's out on YouTube.

Please watch that.

YouTube.

Yeah.

Helium Comedy Studios.

It's all on my Instagram.

You can find it.

And then October 20th, I'm going to be releasing my musical, which is basically my same stand-up hour, but with a full band and 10 songs that I wrote.

And they're funny, like funny songs.

Congratulations, that's incredible.

Because I really still want to be on Broadway.

And I wanted to do like a variety show.

You have their dream.

Yeah, the dream is to have like a one-woman show that travels.

No ukulele or anything.

You're getting there.

You're getting there.

You're going to get there, man.

You're on Fuego.

Just trying to get the word out on these projects.

Also, New York is like, I miss that energy.

And I want to see what we're doing.

So where can people see you in New York?

I'm going to be at the stand.

I'm going to be at New York Comedy Club.

I'm going to be at Gotham.

I'm going to...

I'm just, look at my Instagram for all those.

Yeah, so your Instagram is your name.

Yeah, my name is.

Jade for Brazilian Zodge.

Cata with two T's.

Yeah.

Preta.

Where does this name come from?

It's so fancy.

It is, right?

It is.

It feels like a person.

Did you get your catapreta?

Right?

I know.

It's been our name forever, like it was always connected.

It's from a region in Brazil.

Really?

Yeah, called Catapreta, which is a black gold that they

find.

And it's been together the same name forever.

For some reason, I thought it was probably from Italy.

Oh, yeah, and I have a lot of Italian mixture in me.

French, Italian, Moroccan.

Very fancy country.

And you are adorable, and I am very honored.

I'm honored.

And now I have a Brazilian friend in LA.

I know this thing.

I just find find out that.

For sure.

Next time we're going to be in the pool.

And we have to go to a Brazilian restaurant here and that.

You guys are invited.

Oh, which one?

Yeah, all the audios are invited.

We're just looking.

And we're very happy with our sex lives right now.

Which is super important.

And if you guys are in the LA area, because I'm going to drop this episode like in an hour, come watch.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm at the comedy store tonight.

And then tomorrow I'm at El Cid again.

At the comedy store tonight and L Cid.

I'm gonna put all this stuff on my Insta.

You are amazing, you're a major inspiration.

Thank you so much.

This was Jade, Kata Prieta, Brazilian girl power in the house.

And I think our message before I let you go really quickly,

I think Hollywood needs to stop stereotyping Latin girls.

Yeah, we come to the moment.

And stereotyping actresses period, like you said.

Also, like black women are

different colors too.

You don't have to just be careful.

And if you can play Israeli, if you can play Brazilian, whatever it is, you know, just hire the actor, hire the talent,

hire the talent, right?

Amen.

Thank you.

You're incredible.

This was a fantastic Canon Deluze.

I'll see you guys soon.

Bye.

Bye.