The Las Vegas Aftermath

Woohoo!

This is Catandaluz Tuesday with my favorite guest, Amanda, my bestie.

How are you, Amanda?

Hi, I'm good.

I'm good.

And I also have another guest.

He's gonna stay incognito, but he's a super cool friend that we have that just arrived from Europe.

Hi, Secret Friend.

Hello, so happy to be here.

Welcome to Catandal.

Welcome.

And how are you, Katie?

I'm great.

So much happened.

Last time I saw you, we were closing season four

live from Las Vegas.

And it was so fun.

It was so much fun, but it was also a lot of drama, right?

It was.

And I mean, it wasn't better that I had to leave, you know, because I was so stressed out.

But it was so fun, but a lot of drama.

A lot of drama.

So let's address all the drama.

If you guys are listening to this episode and you did not listen to episode 100, go back, listen to episode 100, and come back here.

But what we didn't put on the episode was all the drama behind the scenes.

So let's go.

Before episode 100, you and I did an episode about situationships.

We thought I was in a situationship with this guy that lives in Las Vegas, right?

Yeah.

Turns out I wasn't even on a situationship because he didn't give a fuck about me.

It was a nothing ship.

For him, it was like really just sex.

Yeah.

So I was thinking like, maybe should I date this guy?

Should now date this guy.

So now, fast forward, we decided because I thought I was in a situation with this dude, let's go celebrate my birthday in Las Vegas and do the 100th episode there.

Yes.

So you come with me.

And so now we're going to start telling you guys the story, what happened behind the scenes.

I arrived in Vegas before you.

So we were staying in his house, by the way.

I don't know if you know that.

I hope I don't say your name out.

We should make a code name.

A fake name too.

Yeah.

What What nickname would you like?

Yeah, what do you want?

Secret guests?

I don't know.

Maybe, maybe Josh.

Josh.

Josh is such a good idea.

Yeah, good.

Okay.

So, anyways, I don't even know if Josh knows that.

So, Amanda and I are going to Vegas for my 100th episode.

It's my birthday.

So, I'm like all excited.

We're going to celebrate.

And we're staying in this guy's house because, first, we didn't want to pay for a hotel.

And second, I was banging him and I thought we were in a situation.

So I get there before you.

Yeah.

And everything was okay.

And the minute you get there, now we haven't talked ever since that happened.

No.

But I want your opinion.

He was completely behaving like a peacock around you.

He wasn't being himself at all.

He was trying to get your attention like a freaking teenager.

Did you notice that?

I mean, I did, you know, like the first times I thought like, oh, maybe just like try to be nice to your friend.

But then it was like some situations where it's like, I don't know because he was the one saying like do you want me to take a picture of you

and i'm like i i didn't even it's something if i ask someone please can you take a picture of me that's on me but he was really the one who like do you want me to take a picture of you let me take a picture of you and i'm like

okay you know and and

So yeah, it felt a little bit like those.

On your end, okay, so yeah, we were doing something for work, me, you, and him.

It was his job.

Like we were, I'm not going specify the work because we don't want people to find out who he is.

But, yeah, all of a sudden, I turn around to talk on the phone, and I come back.

And, like, you guys are doing a photo shoot.

Like, he's taking 10 million pictures of you, and you're posing that

his phone.

Yeah, his phone.

So, I thought it was weird because I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

I'm dating him.

I'm sleeping with him.

Yeah.

So, I know you didn't do it on purpose, but obviously, we're being flirty, like posing for him.

But this is what I'm going to say to everybody listening.

It's a good test.

Because if you're dating a guy and he's sleeping with you and your friend comes and he starts flirting with her, it shows his character.

So I don't blame you.

I blame him.

Yeah, yeah.

And I mean, when it comes to that,

I mean, I don't know if, Josh, do you have any other opinions when it comes to Europeans?

Because I think that, because now I kind of know the American way of flirting and stuff, but in Europe, do you think it's weird, you know, when it comes to like those kind of situations?

Because I think in Europe.

Americans are generally a bit different, I think.

Like they're less, they don't pay attention that much to like other person, I think.

They don't attach that quickly, right?

Whereas like in Europe or in Brazil, they only want to be like very affectionate.

They want to cuddle more.

Like having sex, it's like a bit different approach.

They would never like go, I guess, for like a quick day to have sex.

It would be more like a whole evening they spend with you like make you feel special and all of that stuff yeah true but let's switch the game around yeah imagine if you were dating the guy and it was your birthday and I show up and all of a sudden you come back from the bathroom and your guy is taking a million pictures of me with his phone and like giving me attention.

Like, wouldn't you feel like, wait a minute, who's the date?

Or you wouldn't think nothing of it?

I mean, honestly, I think i would think something of it but i also do you know what i just realized right now that i think it's a little bit about how he makes you feel exactly

depend on the person i would say because if i feel a little bit insecure about the person you know like you have some on and off vibes then you might feel like what is going on but if you know and he always make you feel like I know where I have him.

I know that he loves me.

Then maybe I wouldn't think so much about it.

I would be like, oh, that's great.

He helps her with her social media or whatever.

You know what I mean?

But you just nailed it because in this case, he actually made me realize, you know what?

This guy doesn't care about me.

He doesn't like respect me enough.

Like, it's my birthday weekend.

You know, it's a super important podcast episode.

He doesn't care about me enough that he's being respectful.

It was like he totally forgot I was there to get your attention.

And I don't think any girl wants that.

What do you think, Josh?

Yeah, I think you have to like

think what your goal is, I guess.

When you go when it comes to that kind of relationships, you never know what to expect.

But kind of, like as you said, it's a test.

Yeah, it's a test.

Yeah, yeah, the expectations, what's their like, yeah, dynamic, and exactly.

And then it continued.

So that day, that was the first day you got there.

We went with a group of friends to this super cool restaurant, remember?

Yeah, so we're sitting on this round table, and it was our friends.

Then Then you were sitting here to my right.

I'm in the middle and he's on my left.

So at one point, I don't even know if you noticed this part, I started talking to somebody on the other side of him.

And he stands up and is like, oh, do you want to switch seats?

I don't know if I remember that.

And I was like, yeah, and I was glued to you because it was a really tight booth.

Remember?

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

And you never switched.

No, no, because I looked at him and I was like, are you serious?

Yeah.

Because it was just so bizarre.

Who does that?

You know, but it made me start thinking, like, oh my God, this guy, because like, again, I draw the line, like, I would never do that to him and, like, flirt and try to be closer to one of his best friends.

I don't know.

I just think it's a little disrespectful.

Do you guys agree?

I mean, once again, I think it's depending on like what kind of feeling you get for it.

Like, is it a feeling of, oh, he actually just tried to be nice because I'm going to have this situation, you know, I'm just going to have this conversation with this other person.

but you didn't feel that way.

No, would you?

I mean, depend on the person, you know.

Like I said, if you were married and have been married, no, no, let's talk about

being married for 20 years.

Talk about a fresh date, like somebody you just started dating or in a situation with.

Come on, we're not, we know what's going on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I might have been trying to make you feel jealous, too, right?

Like, but I don't know if, like,

at such an early stage of the relationship, that's what's so immature, exactly, so immature, Exactly, I agree.

And then the next day was the day of the podcast.

Um, do you remember?

We, we, and we were recording the podcast at his home, so we invited a group of friends because I wanted all these people to talk about all this stuff.

So, we're sitting there setting up the podcast, and of course, joking around, like, oh, we're gonna talk about sex.

And I don't remember exactly what we said, but at one point, he gets up of his chair and he gives like a huge smack on your ass.

No, it wasn't my ass, but it was my, I remember that.

It was like when you were here, but like, it was here.

But like, really hard.

Really, really hard.

That was like, but that was actually weird.

Just weird.

And then he was like,

is that how you like it?

Or did you like it?

Or something like that?

Do you remember that?

I remember that because we had just talked about it.

It was in the break.

I wanted to say.

No, because in the potty.

I was like, I loved it.

She liked it.

Of course she liked it, but he never did that to me.

I mean, I didn't like it.

But the thing is, I just thought it was weird.

because

it was.

No, because it's her date.

You, I mean, yeah, she likes some people, guys that, of course, that they have, because we were talking about that, like being rough, having rough sex, right?

Yeah, we were there.

That was the context.

Yeah.

Context.

What's the word?

Contest.

Context.

No, no.

Wait.

Context.

Context.

No one's

whatever.

That was the subject.

Yes, I remember that.

But the thing is,

i mean

it's never okay guys it's never okay to flirt with your date

exactly whoever she is but the thing is and of course you should always be polite and like nice to her but you don't have to overdo it like slap her

yeah but that's the whole and then he looked at you like do you like did you like it or something but he did that like everybody in that room knew i was sleeping with him I mean, I just think it's a matter of respect.

Like, respect me in front of people, in front of you, you know?

Yeah.

And I mean, when it came to that, now I knew that I was going to leave the same day.

Yeah.

But that kind of made me feel like, okay, I think I did the right decision.

Because I mean, it sounds like, yes, he's an asshole.

He's an asshole.

But he also not only makes you uncomfortable, he actually makes me a little bit uncomfortable too.

He did.

Because it was, you know, if he did or not.

He did.

And that's why I was like, okay, it's really the best that I'm just to leave right now because I don't want to take anything else.

So I felt uncomfortable and then I left.

Yeah, so we both noticed.

Yeah.

And this is when that's funny, I started changing my mind about him.

Cause I'm like, I swear to God, like you said, I want to be with a guy that

I'm comfortable with, that I know he wants to be with me.

I don't want to be worried like, oh, does he like my friend more?

Like you said, it's all about like, you know, being secure about your relationship.

And then I realized that night, it's funny, because my birthday was going to be a few hours later.

I thought, you know what?

If this guy cannot respect me enough, he never smacked me in bed or out of bed.

So I said, and he was already getting lazy about having sex, which is a really negative, like when you start dating.

But I thought, if this guy cannot respect me in front of all my friends and he's like blatantly flirting with you, I was like, you know what?

I don't like it anymore.

No, I mean, it was a weird situation after a while.

And, but, I mean, good that you knew that you get to know it in the early stages.

Do you think so?

Or do you think that that could change?

No, I think it wouldn't change.

If it's that so early on, then it wouldn't change, I guess.

Because it's attention, like it's going already

around and shifts from one, from you to someone else.

Yeah.

And then, so we finished the podcast, you left, then we stayed with all the other friends.

So we finally go to bed crazy late and everybody drank a lot.

Of course, he fell asleep.

And and then the next morning it's my birthday we wake up and we had sex you know when you feel it's kind of like pity sex

yeah yeah yeah i'm did anybody ever do that i hope not it's the first time that that happened to me no i don't think so it was good But I swear to God, when it was over, and then when he finished, he was like, oh, happy birthday.

Like he gave me like this little pet on like, kind of like, oh, here's your birthday gift.

And then he got out of bed.

And then I was like, you know what?

I don't want to spend the whole Sunday here with this guy.

I mean, and that's how I left.

Yeah, because I remember that you spent your birthday driving home

from Vegas to LA.

Yes, because I went down to the kitchen.

And if you were to say, hey, let me make you breakfast, because that's what I would have done, like for the person I'm with.

And then I said, you know what?

I think I'm going to go home today instead of tomorrow.

And he was like, okay.

yeah, he didn't say like one freaking word, so I thought, you know what, bye, I'm going home, goodbye, yeah, exactly,

right?

Yeah, I just, but yeah, so I mean, the sex was good, but like I said, I felt like I cannot believe it's the first time.

I guess I created this term, guys out there.

If that ever happened to you, send me a message.

It's like pity sex.

You feel like somebody's not really in the mood, but they do it because they feel obligated because they know you want it.

And it's the worst feeling in the world, right?

It definitely is.

I mean, I get turned off if I feel like the other person isn't super turned on by me, exactly.

And I mean, come on, if you're dating somebody for just a few weeks, it should be hot and heavy, right?

Oh, yeah, if it starts like going down, can you imagine two years down the line?

Oh, no, no sex, yeah, exactly.

So then I came back, and my birthday, da-da-da-da-da.

Then I didn't see this dude for two weeks.

Then I went back there to work, and sure enough, next time I saw him, not I felt like I now, like I said, I see him like a big brother figure.

That is, I know, but that is so funny that it just can switch like that, but it definitely can.

It just transformed.

Yeah, I realized, like, the guy, because the first time we dated, he was here in Beverly House and he was a completely different person than the person that he's there.

I don't like the way he treated the whole episode with you.

And in a way, like we were saying, I think that's a good trick for girls.

Bring the guy, if a guy that you're dating says he's crazy about you he really likes you bring him around a really close friend because the way he behaves towards your friend i think it says a lot about if he likes you or not to me it's a deal breaker if the guy flirts with me yeah how about to you i mean for me and i guess this is a little bit because i'm european i don't know or because i don't care about guys too much either.

I mean, but I mean, if it's super obvious that he's flirting, of course, course, it's not fun.

I would just like,

I would just be like, fuck you, bye.

But it's like

for me,

and in Sweden,

trying to, no, I mean, I think here in America, after being here for a while, it would.

But in Sweden, I remember, you know, like guys go out and like grab coffees with their girlfriends, you know, like not girlfriend, like partners, but like, they definitely have like a lot of girlfriends and, you know, like hanging out with her.

That's girlfriend.

But but also, like, I remember one time my boyfriend at the time, but then we weren't dating, we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

He could spend time with my best girlfriend, and it wasn't weird, but it's also, I don't know, yeah, I think in Europe it's a bit different, right?

In Europe, it's just like

everyone expects to have sex with everyone, right?

That is, no, but that is actually true here in America.

What?

No, no, yes,

yes, if you're never

if you're a girl and you're friends with a guy,

it doesn't happen because you're supposed to have sex kind of yes because it's so weird like now in sweden if he's like oh i have 10 friends that are girls that i hang out with every day i would be like whatever but if he if i meet someone here in america and he would be like yeah i hang out with a lot of girls i would be like no you ain't

no

yes really because here in america it's totally different because and that's what i think so i think that if i was dating someone here, I would be more jealous than I would be in Europe.

Because in Europe, I wasn't.

It's jealous at all.

Yeah.

I don't think I would be jealous.

Again, I think it's a matter of respect.

Like, it's a big difference between having a bunch of girlfriends.

Like, I have a lot of guy friends.

All my clients are men, and I'm best friends with all of them.

Yeah.

But when I'm with one, dating one guy, I'm respectful to him.

Like I said, this dude, I would not go and flirt with his best friends.

That's what I'm saying.

I draw the line.

There's a a big difference between having friends and flirting with people that are close to you.

That might be true.

If that makes sense.

Like if you show up here today, oh, hi, this is my date.

I've been going out to this guy.

I'm not going to, like, when you go to the bathroom, I'm not going to be like, hey, babe, you know?

I mean, I'll be respectful to you.

You know what I mean?

Does that make sense to you guys?

Of course.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, definitely.

And if you're amongst friends, then you expect them to also like, you know, like have the dynamic between each other and like like each other as well.

Not only like not flirting but also like liking those people and like yeah and be friends with them and being comfortable and be like yeah so you kind of want your guy that you're dating to be your friends yeah to be able to flip with people not with not to flirt with them but to like be able to like like them and hang out oh yeah

so that's the main reason why i invited her because it was such a special weekend to meet yeah and I obviously was the guy I thought I was in a situationship with.

I'm like, oh, come over.

I want you to meet him, meet his friends.

Let's have a great time.

So I'm thinking, okay, I'm sleeping with him.

We're having a good time.

And he's going to be nice to my friend, but not spend like the whole freaking weekend, you know, trying to grab your attention.

Like, hey, hi, look at what I'm here.

To me, that was like, I don't know, it just killed it for me.

It just killed my vibe with him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean,

I agree.

I agree.

And I'm so happy for you that it's over.

It's 1 million percent over.

Yeah.

So I saw him twice after that this weekend again.

And I was super open about it.

I actually said it to his face because like a lot of people like putting dirt under the carpet.

And he's one of them.

He was like, why are you talking to me about it?

I said, because I like putting everything in the open.

I said, look, I completely changed my mind about dating you.

You're not the person I thought you were.

I love you as a friend.

I'm already, you know, dating.

slightly dating other people, somebody else.

So yeah, we're just going to be friends forever.

But now you're like more like a mentor to me, like a, not a daddy figure anymore, but like a brother figure.

Yeah, definitely.

So he's lost.

Yes, definitely.

And another thing I want to ask you guys your opinion.

It's probably not going to be the same opinion as mine.

I found out,

although, you know, we dated quote unquote for what, three months, right?

Yeah, January, February, and March.

All this time, basically the minute he would come here, stay with me and leave my apartment, all this time he was still like on the dating apps.

He was still on Bumble.

He was still talking to other women.

Not for one minute, he like took a break to be with me.

And when I'm dating someone, getting to know them, I completely take a break from it.

What do you guys think?

Do you think I'm premature, or it's completely normal?

Look at Josh's face.

He's like, Catherine, you're crazy.

Everybody keeps looking on Bumble.

No, I was just thinking about one of my friends.

And she actually has two guys at the moment that she's dating and she cannot decide which one she likes more so she's like I'm not thinking that she's polyamorous because that's what it's called like yeah like two people at the same time but um I think she's a she said she's in love with like with them both they she loves spending time with both of them like one one guy is better at sex the other one is better at like emotions and everything else does one know about the other or no no they don't know about each other

i mean that's a little tricky yeah actually one of them mentioned that like oh it's so funny that some girls have like two guys at the same time during the dinner that we had all together.

And I was like, just trying me like, trying not to laugh.

Because that's what happens.

That's what's happening to him.

Yeah.

I mean,

for me, I actually.

You can have four at the time.

I know, but I think three is good.

Three is a good thing.

Yeah, because it's like one, you can be super attracted to and have sex with.

There's more to like morning sex, afternoon sex.

No, no, no.

But I mean, you guys are not

if you're looking for a relationship, that's a different thing.

But if you're looking for fun,

yeah, then have as many as you want, and you don't have to tell them about each other, but you can just say, Hey, I'm not looking for fun.

Unless one of them looks at you and says, Hey, I want to be exclusive with you, then you got to make a decision, right?

Definitely, yeah, that's what she was worried about.

Yeah, it's finally gonna ask her about that, probably will.

Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, I guess I agree, but and I'll tell you guys how I found out that that hurt a little bit so this past weekend i was there staying at his house separate bedrooms because now we're just friends and at night i was scrolling through bumble you guys believe it or not because i get a lot of business contacts through bumble oh

not dates but anyways i'm just bored i'm like okay i'm gonna look at bumble las vegas maybe there's some new client here and he comes up on bumble

So like he's in the bedroom there and I'm here and I see and all the pictures that I had taken of him.

So you were both on Bumble, yeah.

But yeah, so obviously, I'm a great photographer because he used every single picture to update his profile that I took of him.

Meaning, he updated it, yeah, when you were there, yeah.

And at the bottom, he wrote, I'm not gonna say it here because it's something very personal, and I want to protect his identity, but he wrote something very deep and very personal: why people should swipe right and go out with him.

So, that hurt.

That's I felt like a sting.

I'm like, ah, he's on bumble.

He updated it.

He used all the photos I took of him.

And he was in the next bedroom.

So I sent him this message, like, oh, I can't believe I just matched you on Bumble.

And I confess, it really hurt.

Yeah.

So the next morning we meet down in the kitchen for coffee.

It's like, why are you hurt?

You know, you know, I've always been on bumble, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I told you I wasn't really ready for a serious relationship.

We decided we're going to be friends.

I said, well, but it's still fresh and it still stings, you know.

And I was surprised that you used the pictures I took of you, but I'm over it.

But you know, when you see somebody that you were dating and you know, they're still fishing.

Ah, yeah, no, I told you, you made me feel like chopped liver,

chopped liver, all things.

But you know, I made me feel like had sex with me and claimed me, like, ah, no, that's not good enough.

I want to keep like fishing.

But, you know, I think one thing I thought about after this, I mean, now, obviously, because of work and stuff, you can't just, you know,

cut off completely but

because i am a person when it comes to men if they hurt me or do something that i think is wrong i never say it to them yeah no i do like i don't i don't even tell them why i'm just like taking my stuff and leaves and never come back and never return their calls yeah and they have no idea why but i'm just like you that's how most people are most people even he looked at me said why did you tell me why did you tell me i said because i like to just say it.

Yeah, I don't like like bottling it up, but most people just don't.

They just move on.

I just like, you know, hence, ghosting.

That's what you do.

You ghost people.

Yeah, but I'm not really nice either.

I'm not.

I'm not gonna pretend that I am, especially not, I mean, to men.

You know, you're a bad bitch.

You're a bad bitch.

It's probably true that the more, the worse you treat guys, the more they come after you.

They like a bad bitch.

Oh, yeah.

I have, I have a friend, and she always says, the more you pee on them, yeah, the more they'll want you.

I know, because I used to be like that, I used to be the nastiest, like treat all of them like shit.

And now that I'm like a sweetheart and I want a relationship, I keep getting fucked, but it's just my style.

I guess

don't say that, it's not the right person for you.

Yeah, no, exactly.

And I agreed, and I said, Thank you, universe, for letting me figure out because I don't want to date this guy.

We're good friends.

I'm going to take a two-minute break, and we're going to come back and keep this conversation moving because it's about sex dating and relationships.

But people forget sometimes relationships are not just about our relationships with men and vice versa.

I want to talk a little bit about our loyalty and how we got over all this crap because I think it's really important for girls out there to listen.

Yeah, we'll be right back.

It's Katana Luz.

Hi, Josh.

Welcome.

Thank you.

Okay, we're back so much.

I can't believe all this drama happened like in the spur of a few days and two weeks.

Yeah, it it was a lot in a very short amount of time i was only there for 24 hours but it was intense 24 hours

it was too intense it was really funny but at least now we laugh about it we do but it was like at the moment it was like oh my god it's your birthday and i want you to have a good time but it's just like oh things are happening yeah but i must say like the couple we met they were so nice oh yeah they're coming back this saturday we're gonna do an episode with them oh that's so cool yeah if you're available i'm gonna take them to the soul house yes i'll double check awesome so okay in the um during the break before we jump on on our little issue it wasn't an issue but you were saying you were dating this guy so let's just talk about that for a second yeah so i mean it was the situationship guy and

i was attracted to him so that was great sex was good and i mean i was very attracted to him He was very manly.

He, you know, like told me what to do.

And I'm like, okay.

So I that about him.

But the problem is that overnight, all the attraction went away because he just, I don't know, he got fucked up, he got way too drunk, and

that just turned me off so much.

So, from being attracted to him to being annoyed and angry with him, I just looked at him and I just felt like a really like pathetic

person.

And I'm like, dude, you're in your 40s.

And he was a bartender in his fours.

That's already a red red four.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, sorry, it was no, but it was never a relationship

that is.

He was kind of like a sex type thing, right?

Yes, you were enjoying the sex, yeah.

And I mean, if he wouldn't have done that, maybe I would have still been attracted to him, and that would have been great.

We could have seen each other, had some sex.

I know, but like you said, that's a huge normal.

I mean, getting drunk should face that you have to take care of a 40-something-year-old

don't do it, guys.

No, no, you have to be married for that to happen.

That's no, don't do it.

Yeah, that's whole.

Everybody needs to know how to hold their alcohol, I think, especially on a date.

Definitely.

So, did you have to drive him home?

Yes.

Oh, geo, girl.

I would have dumped him in an Uber, like, put him in an Uber.

I know.

Give the Uber driver like 20 bucks.

Please throw this guy in front of his door.

It's not the first time you tell me a story that you had to take some douche home.

I know.

I don't know if Josh knows that.

I think we even talked on the podcast.

Yeah, I think, yeah, we did.

Like, some guy, I even forgot what he did.

Some guy did to you.

They're like, huh, I'm going to be nice enough and drive him home.

Yeah, so he just went with me to my car.

And then he was like, can you drive me home?

And I'm like,

okay, but your car, because he had his car there.

And he was like, no, but I'll just go get it tomorrow.

And then I drove him home.

And then he wanted me to come with him upstairs.

And I'm like, no, I already told you no.

The oldest trick in the book.

Yeah.

And he's like, and then he said, this was just a test,

and now I respect you more because you said no,

and then

he said, Can you please drive me back to my car?

Which you did, yeah,

wait, the same night, yes, can you believe she did that?

No, I mean,

because he wouldn't leave my car

because I was driving, I was like, So, you drove him home and then drove back, yeah.

Okay, please stop driving douche lords home in your car.

Yeah, from now on, they're only gonna pick me up.

Yeah,

exactly.

And no, and like if the guy's getting shit-faced, drunk, misbehaving, really, just they're adults, you know, just leave.

Yeah, you deserve much better.

Yeah, I hope so.

So, that's the end of this guy.

Yeah, definitely.

That's the drunk bartender.

The drunk, no, no, no, no more drunk.

And you said he got drunk, he wasn't working, but he got drunk in the place he works.

Yeah,

which is like ew.

No, no.

Yeah.

Just don't do it.

Don't do it.

Don't do it.

Moving on.

Are you dating anybody else hot or better now?

I will go out on my first date on Thursday.

Awesome.

Come back and let us know how it goes.

Definitely.

I'll definitely do that.

Yeah.

So.

I want to talk about something and I know you're game to talk about it.

And the reason I want to do this is because I know so many girls out there have this problem.

And I hope they're as well resolved as we are.

But unfortunately, they're not.

After the Vegas episode, honestly, I did not think you did anything wrong in Vegas.

I thought this guy was being a douche the whole weekend flirting with you.

Then we came back, and when after I told him, okay, we're just going to be friends, da-da-da, I went on a couple of dates with a guy, and I confess I wasn't interested in this guy at all, and I'll tell you why.

He was nice, he was crazy polite, and he picked super nice restaurants, but he talked about money a lot.

And I think that is so techy.

Yeah, so techy.

Like the second date, we arrive at the restaurant, we went to Spag, which I love.

So yeah, bonus for that.

But then he sits and he's like, Oh, can you believe I just finished this video with these clients?

And they just gave me this cash tip.

So please remind me if I take my jacket off that I have 10 grand in cash in my jacket.

Okay, dude.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

Congratulations.

You have 10 grand.

But I just thought I don't like when people like show off money.

How about you guys?

I mean, both yes and no.

I actually do like it.

Yeah, you like it.

Show it.

You do?

Oh,

I think it's so tacky.

So if you're dating this douche and he said, oh, I have 10 grand, and you would have said, oh, may I see it?

Can I have it?

So you're like 10 grand only?

Oh my gosh.

So poor.

Oh my gosh.

But would you have said something like, can I see it?

No.

Would it turn you on?

No, it wouldn't.

But I mean, okay, LA does things to you.

I'm just so incredibly tired of guys having like roommates in their 40s.

Who are you dating?

I'm telling you.

You need to do your due diligence before you go on the freaking date.

I know.

So that's why right now I'm just like, have your fucking shit together.

Of course.

You have to have like 10 grand in your pocket

you don't have to have that look so these are two completely different things that we're saying i agree i do my due diligence like in terms i would never even go on a date with a guy that i'm sorry was a bartender in his 40s because i don't want another kid i pay my bills i know how hard i work so that you figure this out before you go on the date

there is something called linkedin but the thing is something called google but But that guy, we met out.

So we never met on a dating accident.

We never knew his name.

You could have like figured out what his data was.

But okay, so one pass.

But now, I mean, at least that's what I do.

I'm not saying like, by no means, I don't want their money for me, but I want a guy that is at least up to par with me or a lot better.

Yeah.

So I figure out like, what do you do?

What's your name?

Or do you work?

Okay, great.

But what I'm saying that this guy did, like once you go with the woman don't keep showing off top because if you have a lot of money you don't have to talk about it that is so true that is so true so like the future rich people they walk in stag whatever the hell it is with jeans and a t-shirt and they have a ton of money yeah but the thing is like i because that's also one thing with the

your

other you know the guy that you like yeah let's call him douche

i just because he even if he has a lot of money he was cheap because he and, and that's what I mean when it comes to.

Oh, you talk about the first one in Las Vegas.

Yeah, okay.

I thought you were talking about the second one.

Yeah, no, the one because it was crazy cheap.

And it's like, if you have money, you can pay the parking for $15.

Oh, absolutely.

You know what I mean?

So, I mean, even if some people have a lot of money, so if they don't want to show it in the sense of they, they drive like a shitty car, they live in like a shitty place, it's like, well, why do you need the money if you're not going to show it?

So that's what I mean.

But you don't have to take out 10 grand anyway.

No,

that's what I mean.

I mean, like, yeah, you take the girl to a fancy restaurant.

You drive a nice car.

I already saw your LinkedIn.

I know you have money.

You don't have to be like, oh, my clients tip me in cash.

Oh, I hate my job, but I make so much fucking money.

Oh, yeah, look, my pocket is full of cash.

I mean, really?

Who the hell does that?

No one ever.

That was like such a turn on.

Hence, when we were almost done at the fabulous dinner at Spago,

we texted you and you told me I'm at the Soul House.

I'm like, okay, let's go because I didn't want to be alone with this douche anymore.

So we show up at the Soul House and we're sitting there like, and that's another thing that I hated.

He kept like pushing me to kiss him.

And I really don't like when people do that.

You're like, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.

And I pay when they ask.

Right?

I know.

If it happens, it happens.

But you don't have to ask for permission.

Exactly.

And I honestly to God, I only kissed him because I was trying to forget the

Vegas guy.

So I'm like, okay, but it was horrible.

So I was like dying to, he was like so tacky, I know.

And to me, when the kiss is bad, everything else is going to be bad.

Do you guys agree?

Yeah, I mean, yeah, probably.

If the kiss is bad, then everything is bad.

I would never go to bed with somebody if the kiss was bad.

Yeah, yeah.

Would you, Josh?

No.

Yeah, me neither.

So anyways, I was like, okay, I'm over this guy.

So we are leaving.

And this is what I'm going to say.

It's not about the guy because I could not care less about him.

I went to the bathroom.

And on the lobby part of the Seoul house, there is this school photo booth that we love.

So when I walk out of the bathroom, you said, oh, look, you took him into the booth.

Yes.

And we took.

photo booth pictures.

So he is holding like a bunch of cute little photo booth pictures of you and him.

And he puts it in his pocket and he's like super proud of it.

Yeah, I don't even know.

And

I looked at you and him like, what the hell are you guys doing?

I, at that moment, I thought you should have waited for me just because I was his date.

Yeah.

And the thing is, so when that happened, I mean, and I think, I don't know, we talked about it before, but like the European mindset, because first

I was just like, whatever, everyone takes photos here.

But then when I talked to you, I kind of understood that that is not okay to like bring someone's date into photo booth yeah when it was like the second date so i mean after we talked about it which we're gonna talk about later but when we talked about it i was like oh my god i'm so sorry and it was like an awakening like oh what the why did i do that but in the moment i must say i didn't have any intentions no i know i know i didn't have any intentions and it was just like oh we're just waiting and it's free and i don't know what to say to this guy so i'm like let's photos.

I don't know.

But this is the important part about, this is why I'm talking about this specific situation.

So many girls in our situation would be like, oh, you fucking bitch.

I cannot interact.

And it could ruin such a special friendship because of an idiot that it doesn't mean anything.

So my message to girls out there, before you jump the gun, talk.

This is what communication is all about.

Because when we talked the next day, I said, man, seriously, I don't care about that guy.

I didn't even ever want to see him again for many reasons it had nothing to do with you so it wasn't a big deal to me at all the only comment I had is that yeah I kind of agree like if you were on a date and you went to the bathroom I would say oh when Amanda comes back let's do a few pictures exactly and you totally agreed and we got over it because that's the thing because when you as friends talk about it that's when you grow yes as a person because if you wouldn't have told me that maybe I would have done it with you know everyone else.

And people would just be like, what the fuck is she doing?

And then just think I'm obnoxious and then walk away.

And it's like, I don't want to be that one.

So it's just, it teaches me things.

Absolutely.

No.

And it's like you said, it's your personality.

It's the Swedish culture.

You mean no harm by it at all.

And again, it was his behavior.

This is what I say.

When we are with a guy, we need to pay attention how he treats us.

Like he put the pictures in his pocket and then in the elevator, he was like, oh, I don't, I love the picture.

I'm like, okay, exactly.

So I'm like, whatever.

And then he drove me home with the Uber.

He insisted we come with the same Uber.

And then he kept like insisting he wanted to come in here.

And I'm like, no, you're not.

Oh, can I see your dog?

I said, sure.

So I made him wait outside.

And I got Phoenix and I took Phoenix outside.

And I said, okay, do you want to take Phoenix for a walk with me?

And he's like, yes.

So we're walking around the block.

He's like, oh, but I really got a pee.

I really got a pee.

You got to let me go pee inside your apartment.

I'm like, no, pee here on the street.

I made the guy pee on the street.

Yeah.

I'm like, no, you're not.

But he was the one, but he was the one who wanted to see your dog.

So I think you want an excuse to come.

Obviously.

And he wasn't going to come.

He wasn't going to have sex with me.

He wasn't going to kiss me.

So finally, he was like, are you serious that you want me to pee on the street?

I said, yes, I'm serious.

It was like.

One o'clock in the march.

Like, there's nobody around here.

Just fucking pee and leave.

Bye.

Bye.

But that's why I'm glad we talked about it.

Yeah.

Because I see it on Instagram.

I see it on the internet so many times.

Girls destroy friendships for the silliest crap.

In my book, No Man in the World is Worth It.

Like the guy that likes you, he's going to like you.

The guy that likes me likes, but we should never, ever, ever like have any issues because a man.

Yeah.

And the thing is, like, so I really think that too.

Girls, just communicate.

If you're having an issue, if something happens in your friendship, try to talk it out.

Yes.

And it's okay to be hurt.

it's okay to be hurt and say like you know what that hurt me yeah but I'm going to forgive you oh 1 million percent so it's like I don't know it's just I just think friendship is so much more important absolutely the thing is if he were the man of your dreams he would also have said to me no let's wait for Kathy exactly I mean exactly because because yeah I mean if it was your culture like of course you think nothing of it but here he knew she's my date but he just went and jumped on it.

And again, it showed me his freaking personality, which I didn't like in the first place.

So he took his ten thousand dollars, god knows where.

What do you think about it, Josh?

Do you want to give your opinion?

Do you think I was exaggerating?

Do you think Amanda jumped the gun?

I don't know, it's hard to say.

I wish people could see your face.

Like, you make the cutest expressions, you make these eyes like the canary, like the cat ate the canary.

You don't want to take pick sides, but you don't have to pick our canary.

We don't care.

No, we've

picked our side.

Yeah, that's good, I think.

Like, if you have an opinion, that makes sense, right?

Like, if you don't want to do anything with a guy, like, why would you do anything?

Yeah.

Ask him in or whatever.

Okay, that's it.

You don't want to shine in.

So we're done with that.

So, moving on from that, I'm so happy that we cleared that out.

Yeah, me too.

And now we know moving forward.

And again, I really feel in my heart: whenever I find the right guy, obviously you're going to meet him.

Oh, yeah.

And he's going to be all over me.

Yes, that's the thing with the right guy.

And vice versa.

Your guy is going to be all over you and love you and adore you and not flirt with your friend.

Period.

Yeah.

End of conversation.

Great.

So after you, this date, if you like it or not, I hope you come back to talk more about

a real date.

What's the plan for the date?

Do you know?

What's the plan for the date?

Where are you going or what you're gonna do?

No, I don't know.

It's completely.

He didn't ask you what you want to do.

He did ask me what I wanna do, but I just said I want to go to dinner.

But I also trust his judgment from because he

we have actually met one time before, but it wasn't a date.

So where did you guys meet?

We met.

I was set up on a date with another guy and he brought him as his friend and I brought my friend

but I didn't like the guy that I was set up with

so I you like the other guy yeah but where were you guys like which place a restaurant a bar we were at a restaurant nice that you like no we were gonna go to

this Mexican restaurant at Beverly Hills you know the canteen frida oh yeah I think it is yeah it's cute yeah so I mean nothing special yeah nothing special but it's uh yeah so that's where I met him.

But hopefully he's going to pick a super nice place, and you guys are going to have a great day.

That's really what I'm hoping.

Like, I'm going to be so.

You should have said it.

Yeah, I mean, but I just hope he gets that.

Did you do your research this time?

Yeah, did you do your due diligence?

Did you Google him?

Did you look at his LinkedIn?

Yeah, what's going on?

Yeah.

I mean, it looks good.

from the outside.

Do you know his name?

Do you know his last name?

I do.

And I have Googled him, but I haven't found anything.

And again, honestly, I don't want people to misconstrue the oh, you guys, girls are after money.

But let's be honest: who the hell is a role to the loser?

You know, I don't want to be paying bills and then

having more problems.

Like you were saying, you want to go, you want a guy that's going to be a gentleman and take us to nice places, right?

Yeah, and open date.

Like, seriously, have you checked up how much it costs to like deliver a baby?

Like, if we

know

how did we go from first date at a restaurant to the living year?

Yes, but if I want children, if he wants children, if I want children, it's going to cost a lot of people.

So you're already like, oh, so you're already with the math for the whole.

Oh, yeah.

I'm looking at the collection.

Are you looking at like college tuition for the kids?

If my kid is going to go to UCLA.

No, but I mean, it's not a good idea.

He can't be a bartender.

USC is better than UCLA.

Okay.

Well, what whatever.

But yeah, the cost of living is very expensive.

The cost of having babies is very expensive.

And I agree.

You don't want to date a bartender.

I'm sorry.

I'm not going to do that.

It's just, and I'm sorry, bartenders out there.

And of course, every bartender in LA is an actor waiting to be discovered.

But no disrespect.

I think

we know how hard we work.

We know how much money we have in the bank.

At least the person should match

the lifestyle.

Like I said, we live in Beverly Hills.

If a guy invites me,

like

a few weeks ago, one of the matchmakers that you wanted to interview for your podcast, she matches me with this dude and we start talking on the phone.

Oh, that was hilarious.

Just talk on the phone, talk on the phone.

Then he lives in

farther from Calabasas.

You know, Calabasas, like a little bit, I forgot the name of the place.

So he's like, oh, so first of all, he said, you want to meet for coffee?

I cannot stand coffee dates.

I have like four cups of coffee.

I work 15 hours a day.

And people ask for a hike.

Yeah.

Just means it.

Yeah, no.

He's like, do you want to come to Calabasas?

I'm like, and then I go.

I'm like, I said, dude, that's like an hour and a half from my house.

I work.

I have two.

Are you kidding me?

And then he's like, well, because a relationship should be two-way street.

Okay, let's meet in the middle in the valley, bro.

I'm like, do you really think I'm going to get out of my apartment, my work, my job, drive through traffic to go to the valley to meet you for coffee?

Like,

and then he's like, and I said, I would never even date you.

I like chivalry.

I like a gentleman.

And then he's like, oh, chivalry is something you need to earn.

Can you believe the guys?

I'm like, are you serious?

Are you freaking kidding me?

Good luck.

And then he kept insisting, oh, I'm sure we're going to find a middle ground.

I'm like, dude, I will never date you.

Because if a guy doesn't have enough respect for me, like, oh, I'll drive.

Oh, and by the way, he didn't work.

He was retired.

but then he could come to you exactly i'm thinking like come to beverly hills

make the the the effort right yeah i mean i i dated a guy in more park which is like where is that way off way off

i've been dating you know not dating but like one day with one in more park and and one in long beach everyone comes to me exactly no at least they make me drive to no i do not yeah no and i'm sorry i'm not trying to be difficult but i agree with you Traffic is chaos.

Our lives are insanely busy.

And I like the guy that makes the effort, at least in the first dates.

Then, if you like each other big time, I dated a guy in Malibu for a long time last year.

And his house was like way up in Zuma Beach.

And it's literally like 45 minutes from here.

And I would go, no problem.

Yeah.

But we went on a gazillion dates before

I would make the effort.

But in the beginning, yeah, I think like, yeah, come to me.

Plan a nice date.

Plan a nice rest.

Do you guys agree?

Yes, I do.

Do you agree, Josh, or you think we're being difficult?

Yeah, I mean, it's nice if they make an effort, like, especially in the beginning, right?

Yeah, it's what you expect from the other person as well.

And kind of, that's shuttles a bit.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, I definitely think that because it's, I,

I mean, you have to earn me, yes, you know, like you have to earn if I'm gonna take time from my life, sorry, but I'm very much a diva sometimes, but it's my life.

If I'm gonna take time from my life to meet you and spend time with you

you have to make some effort i agree one million percent and you know what i gotta tell you i've been out with so many crappy guys i've been like if you listen it's two years doing this podcast 100 freaking episodes i don't know how many dates joe it was it's like a joke so many crap i i get so much crap i get pickier and pickier and pickier and that's the thing that's the thing every day i'm like you know like you said i'm a prize i make money.

I'm successful.

I'm beautiful.

I'm intelligent.

Like I said, I do research about the guys.

I do a video call because I want to make sure they look like they say they look.

Because many times they show up at the restaurant and they don't look good.

I've been doing that too.

Like, oh, let me see you.

I'm not going to get all dolled up and all dressed up.

I go to a restaurant, then you show up like you look 20 years older, then you put in your pick, because a lot of people do that.

Yeah, I mean, I'm glad I'm over the apps.

I'm having an app break.

I'm having an app break too because I'm dating somebody.

It's fresh.

It's new.

I was telling Josh a little bit about it, and I just told you it's very new.

We've only been on two dates, but it was one of those things I almost didn't pick him from the pictures.

And then I, and he, for the first date, he picked one of my favorite places, the Bar of the Peninsula Hotel.

Have you been there?

No.

Oh, my God.

It's fabulous.

It's hot.

It's full of beautiful people, live music.

Oh my God, we have to have an entire episode.

Big time.

You guys got to go there.

Yeah.

So he picked that place.

And when he walked in, he was a million times better than the pictures.

That's amazing.

That's the best.

I was like, wow, I like you.

So we ended up having like this crazy long date.

And the second date, he picked another super nice place.

And we ended up having like this five, six, seven hour date.

And he calls me every single day.

That's good.

But I don't want want to get too excited about it, so I don't want to talk too much about it.

But yeah, we'll see.

It's so funny.

It sounds good, it's

very promising, yes.

But when it sounds so good, you can't

let's not jinx it, let's not jinx it, yeah, let's not,

but I, yeah, I'll tell you guys what ah, and another thing I loved about him, he wasn't intimidated about the podcast at all because you know, a lot of men, that's good, and you talk about he was like, I don't care, I'm so busy.

I'm not gonna say what he does because I know people, and he was like, Oh, I'm so fucking busy.

I Do your thing.

Yeah.

Do your thing.

I trust you.

I love it.

Talk about sex.

Talk about whatever the hell you want.

Good for you.

Yeah.

That to me was amazing.

Look at that.

That he is so secure.

He's like, you know what?

I'm secure by myself.

I know my game.

Do whatever the hell you want.

I love that.

I love that.

Wow.

That's super cool.

Guys, thank you so much.

I can wait and die.

Thank you for coming by.

Of course.

Thank you for talking about our leader.

I don't even say it was an issue.

I think it was just communicating about it.

Yeah, I mean, every it's like the first when you're in a friendship, you always have the first friendship pop, yes, and that was ours.

But the reason why I wanted to put it out there is because I know thousands and thousands of girls listen, and I hope if they have a girlfriend that they love that maybe did something silly that bothered them, talk, yeah, talk about it.

Talk.

Your friendship should always be more important than some dude that you're never gonna see again.

Oh, yeah,

yeah.

Well, Josh, thank you for participating.

I hope you come come back.

This was Cat on the Luz Tuesday.

I have a super special guest.

Let me plug him in here before I run out of time.

I've been dying to interview this guy forever and ever and ever because he's crazy intelligent.

His name is Adam Jablin.

He's a certified life coach and he's a recovery mentor.

And he knows that I, most of you guys know that I was married to an alcoholic for 14 years, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I wrote a book about it.

And so we're going to talk about, although we make a lot of super light fun episodes

this episode on friday we're gonna talk about something really serious like being in an abusive relationship or trying to save somebody that abuses alcohol abuses drugs how do you get out do you save yourself so i'm really excited his name is adam jablin he's gonna be here on friday and i have a crazy fun episode coming up for you guys soon but uh that's a surprise i'll tell you guys all about it on friday i hope everyone has an amazing week Be nice to your friends, be nice, do your due diligence before going on dates so you don't end up dating the drunk bartender.

Yeah, at least he was great.

At least he did, he was really good in bed, right?

Yeah, probably here, he sleeps with a lot of women.

Oh my god,

let's just forget about it.

Yeah, do your due diligence.

Yeah,

this was scandalous.

Thank you guys so much.

So much fun.

Bye.