Mean Girls II

All right,

hi guys, happy Tuesday!

New episode of Cat on the Lose.

I am doing it live from LA with my gorgeous co-host Billy and Dinlon live from Miami.

Hi Dills.

Hey Kitty Cal.

How's it going out there?

Good, it's gorgeous.

It's such a

how's it out there?

It's the same.

We are super lucky because the weather in LA right now, we're having like summertime weather.

It's unbelievable.

We're both lucky girls.

I have so much I want to cover today so i'm going to jump right on it reminding everyone that cat on the lose is 100 organic never edited whatever the hell we say whatever the hell spills out of our mouth is what you guys listen to we are a little sick of all the phoniness on social media all the podcasts the music the drama

here it's just a flowy conversation are you ready

I'm ready.

Okay, so before we jump into the subject of this episode, which is Mean Girls, I did a poll on a couple of subjects that I really wanted to know everyone's opinions on my social media last week.

I don't know if you saw it, Dylan, but the first question I asked, which is something super important to me, I don't know if you have the same opinion as I do.

If people had to choose, or what is more important to you, loyalty or fidelity?

What is your answer?

My answer would be: I mean, they're kind of one and the same, right?

It's interesting that you said that because one of our friends said the same thing.

She said, but fidelity is loyalty.

And I don't agree because I know a lot of men and a lot of women, they're super,

they're not loyal, meaning they cheat.

They have affairs, but they have this major fidelity towards their partner.

Like they stick by their side, they defend them.

Yeah, a bunch of a little bit of hypocrite, a bunch of hypocrites out there, but sometimes it's not the same.

Like being loyal

is that

you're always gonna stick by a person's side

through thick or thin, rain or shine, no matter what they do.

And fidelity is if you're never gonna cheat.

Yeah, yeah.

So, what you just, so fidelity is faithfulness, right?

Yes,

yes,

yeah and it's interesting enough people were half and half on social media half the people said they prefer loyalty half the people said they prefer fidelity i always prefer loyalty how about you

i would i would say loyalty because i feel like fidelity is included in that loyalty package right

Yeah, it's interesting that you said that.

Yeah, I don't know because like I said, I think I would forgive and understand if somebody cheated on me, depending on the reason.

But if they were not loyal to me, like if I caught them talking trash about me or saying something negative about me, which has happened to me in the past, that would break my heart more than the cheating, if that makes sense.

That does make sense to me.

But interesting enough, it's a super controversial question because, like I said, on social media, people are super divided.

I had a a lot of girls, especially on Facebook.

Facebook is always more

on Instagram, people are more open-minded.

And Facebook, they're a little more old-fashioned.

So, I had a lot of girls on Facebook write to me, oh, to me, it's all about fidelity.

I would never forgive my guy if he cheated on me.

But on the other hand, like, how can you be with a person who's not loyal to you?

Like I said, who says something behind your back?

To me, that would be heartbreaking more than somebody cheating because in all honesty we're all humans we cheat it can happen i'm not saying it's nice i'm not saying it's okay but it could happen it does happen to people every now and again

well yeah i mean i would agree disloyalty is like a character flaw right true that's a good point

um worse but then if they're unfaithful it's actually equally bad because it's like i was faithful and like maybe we could have an open relationship if you want to sleep with other people Maybe I'll do too.

I love that you said that.

That is such a good point.

I agree.

I think, yeah, I love that you said that.

It's a character issue.

It's much more serious in my book.

The second question I asked everyone is, because it's the number one complaint of women when it comes to sex, that the guys give them zero intimacy after sex.

We're not talking about the preliminaries.

We're talking about once you're done banging,

women want to cuddle, they want to hug, they want to sleep with you.

And many times they complain that the guys basically just turn to the side and fall asleep, or they walk to the kitchen or they turn the TV on, or even worse, they pull their pants up and leave.

So I asked that question: Is intimacy after sex super important to you, or that's okay?

Yeah, I'm glad you asked about that.

Like pre and post coitus it's very important

the the post coital cuddle that's that's an important step you know what i mean yes i said like then like move on right i mean i think it's important right i think it's super important and i'll tell you why in my case it's not even how i feel it's because i want to see how the guy's gonna treat me after he bangs me

I want to see because if you're so cold, like that you're going to put your pants on or you're going to walk out of the bedroom.

a lot of boyfriends are guilty of that.

After a while, they like fuck the girl and then they walk out of the bedroom and they turn the football game on.

And it drives most women nuts.

And I don't blame them because I just think it's so disrespectful.

I think you should be treated kindly and with respect and with love after you're done, right?

Yeah, exactly.

Like, you know, cuddle me, buy me dinner, right?

Whatever.

Like, this was all leading up to the cuddle anyway.

you know cuddle me buy me dinner cuddle me some more

exactly when i was a kid um they used to after the early church if you would go they would give you donuts right yeah i hated church so much i hated going to church it's so boring but i would always be thinking about the glazed donuts afterward oh i think

this is that well you're not implying that you're the sex you're having is boring right but i understand what you mean

i'm just saying like this is the this is the best part right You know, some big form guy,

I'm always cold.

Of course, some big, warm guy in my bed for a little bit.

You know, I want to cuddle him, okay?

I completely agree with you.

I love, I love the cuddling part, and to me, this is the part I love the most, believe it or not.

I like sleeping with a guy because my favorite sex is the middle of the night or super early in the morning sex.

You know, when the guy wakes you up like five o'clock in the morning, six o'clock in the morning, and then you have that delicious, sleepy sex, and then you go and sleep some more.

That's what I love.

It's my favorite sex, even

I like that more than the nighttime sex.

So if the guy walks away or comes up with an excuse that he can't stay or can't sleep with me, to me, it's like a cold shower on my head.

I don't like that at all.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But Dylan, you know, interesting enough, not only girls, 100% of people on Instagram and Facebook said, yes, give me intimacy after sex, but not only women, all the guys that answered the poll said the same thing.

I was surprised.

I don't know if they're being honest or not, but not one guy said no, leave me alone.

So maybe they crave it too.

Maybe they're a little embarrassed to ask because they're men.

I don't know.

Yeah, I think I think they crave it too.

And I think sometimes like we have to remind them, right?

As women, we have to take like, we have to be like, listen, this will pay off later.

Maybe you don't feel like it right now.

Maybe you feel like something else is more important, but you'll miss this later.

Now's your chance.

There you go.

So, those are the, I'm sorry, what?

They can, maybe, maybe they can put it off for later, but not for us.

I mean, we want it now, right?

Yes, we want it now.

We want the sex, we want the kisses, we want the cuddle, we want the whole package.

And let me tell you something: if you're not getting the whole package, move on.

Don't settle for lukewarm sex don't settle for sex without intimacy after the sex don't settle it took me so many years to get to this point that i'm actually saying that but i really believe we deserve to have the whole shebang

i agree i agree i think we talked about this before too because it's like you know we're talking about guys and we want the whole package and then it's like oh but the whole package is not realistic it doesn't exist blah blah blah but like i'm the whole package.

You're the whole package.

You know what I mean?

Like, the whole package does exist.

It's in the mirror every day.

Yes.

So,

yeah, I would agree with that for sure.

Love it.

Okay, so those are the two polls of the week.

Now, we decided this

podcast episode, we're going to talk about mean girls.

And before we start talking about mean girls, oops, sorry guys, my equipment kind of fell all over the place.

Before we start talking about mean girls i have to say that

last season i did an episode called mean girls if you guys didn't listen to it it's there and i decided to do it because i was super hurt by

how my friends were treating me down in miami and everything got started by this one girl that i thought was my best friend and i put up with it forever and ever and ever before i decided to call it out.

And I have to say, it really pains me to call it out because I think women should be 1 million percent supportive of women.

And also, because we are not talking about high school girls like the movie Mean Girls.

We are talking about grown ass women like we are in our 20s, in our 30s, in our 40s.

I honestly will die not understanding why in the world grown-ass women act like frenemies, like mean girls towards other girls.

It drives me crazy.

Same.

I know it drives you crazy, Chu.

I know you have a ton of stories that you want to share.

Definitely, definitely.

Where do I begin?

Yeah, exactly.

Where do you begin?

I think we were talking before we started the episode.

that

some women, and that's my impression, and I think it's your impression, some

like us,

for some reason, attract more frenemies than other women.

And I'm not sure why,

but many times, I don't know if it's because of the work we do that is so public.

We don't have like the traditional quote-unquote nine-to-five job.

We don't fit the mold.

I'm not sure if that's the reason, but we end up attracting a lot of girls that in the beginning they make believe they are our friend, they make believe they're going to be nice and supportive and everything and all of a sudden they they turn into this monster towards us do you think it's related to to what we do for work

um no i've been experiencing this the majority of my life and i think it has to more to do with the way that we present ourselves the way that we look

I've looked like within myself a lot to feel like, okay, maybe I'm doing something wrong.

I meet somebody immediately.

They don't like me, right I mean that's pretty quick yeah

how can you not like somebody that you just met right

exactly and I really feel like to know me is to love me

so you know know me right

but it's so funny that you bring that up because it's

it's been going on my whole life and even my mom struggled with it and you know she didn't really teach me about jealousy and I remember even in like elementary middle school like she felt so disenfranchised by the other like PTA moms and everything I remember she was always kind of like you know trying to jump bend over backwards for people and they were always treating her like shit even you know to this day and she didn't understand why and I think it's because she didn't fully grasp like the concept of jealousy.

You know what I mean?

She's bouncing around in her, you know, she's like 90 pounds with double D tips and her little

polo and her little tennis skirt.

And, you know, everybody, and she's just like a ray of sunshine.

She's really like such a beautiful person inside and out, stunningly beautiful, face of an angel.

And I really think that, like, all of these other moms were mean to her.

And I think it's because they were jealous of her.

And I even think that, like, their children that like bullied me, it was maybe in part due to my mom's hotness.

But in a way,

yeah, I can understand that.

But the part that I don't understand is why in the world would adults behave like that.

Like I said, we're not, when you're in high school, yeah, you're teenagers, you're growing up, therefore they made a whole movie about it that it's called Mean Girls that became a classic.

But when you're a grown-up, mature woman, like in my case, in your case, when I see other women succeed, especially my friends, I could not be happier for them.

So when they hurt me, when they say something horrible me or ostracize me from a group of friends, which is what happened in Miami with that specific group, I'm literally like dumbfolded because I'm thinking, why in the bloody hell would you be behaving like teenagers?

it doesn't make sense right

right and I've done a lot of like reading about this especially lately to help like figure this out and I think it's like because people like you and I we come from a place of love yes

and so like we don't understand what it's like well of course we everybody understand what it's like to come from a place of fear right like fear is like the base emotion for all types of hate all types of anger jealousy everything like that it all stems from fear from being threatened from feeling threatened.

And I think that unbeknownst to us, we at times can make other women feel threatened.

Yeah.

And just our aloofness about it all and being like, oh, okay, well, you feel, you know, maybe we notice it a little bit, but we keep on going with us, right?

That makes it worse because it's like we're totally unfazed by them.

You know what I mean?

And yeah, I meet people and immediately like, they just want like i just you know i want to meet people whatever talk to people but almost immediately they just want to like

you know whisper something to somebody else or something I know that is so freaking childish

you're interesting too I know maybe you find me interesting and you want to be interesting and being mean is the only way you know how to be interesting but yeah um yeah it's it's really hard for me and girls like my whole life most of my friends have been guys for this reason because girls I just I feel like I can't trust them

and it's been like proven to me time and time again that how do you feel about it Yeah, that, but that's what I'm saying.

The sad part is, like you said, they feel threatened.

And it makes me wonder why in the world would you feel threatened by some other girl?

Because I think when women join forces, we are so much stronger.

When you support another woman's work, or when you're going through a tough time, when I'm going through a tough time, if you unite, you know, everything just gets better.

So this kind of behavior is heartbreaking.

And we decided to do this episode today for a few reasons.

I know you have stories you want to tell.

And as you know, I suffered the biggest blow, I have to say, of my life when it comes to relationships now that I arrived in California, because it happened to a friend that I've known for 30 years.

So, I mean, we've known each other through decades since we were literally teenagers, since before we went to college.

And I consider that girl my sister.

I called her sister.

She called me sister because she was an only child.

And when I arrived in LA, our friendship collapsed like overnight.

She decided she wasn't going to be supportive of me anymore.

She didn't want to talk to me anymore.

She blocked me from WhatsApp.

I don't know if it's because she got jealous of my work.

I don't know if it's because they say, oh, I support you, I support, I support.

And then when they see you're doing all these wonderful things that maybe they didn't have the balls to do with their lives.

But I was insanely shocked, number one, because I thought, how the hell do you cut a 30-year-old friend from your life overnight like that, just before the holidays?

And I was hurt.

I am still hurt.

And I just honestly get, like I said, baffled by women that cannot be be 100% supportive.

If you become the most successful actress in the world, for example, because we talk about it all the time, I think you look like Cameron Diaz.

I think you're insanely talented.

You are cut out for the business.

So let's say you get a huge movie part tomorrow and you make millions of dollars for that.

I don't think other than your mom, nobody on the planet is going to be happier for you than me because I for you all the success on the planet.

I can't imagine turning my back on you or any other friend I have because they are more successful than I am.

Yeah, that's so true.

And

I don't know about you, but I don't have any, I know you don't have any sisters.

I don't have any sisters, so maybe it's part of our, how we grew up too.

But my mom, my mommy was always super nice to me.

You know what I mean?

I love my mommy.

What about you?

You had a good relationship oh my god yes she died three years ago and i don't get over it i i miss her every single day yes because my mom for sure she was my biggest supporter my biggest cheerleader she was always there yeah i was thinking about her this morning like what would she say about this situation yeah because she was such a girly girl she was so supportive of all women i think she would be heartbroken if i told her that this one friend i'm not going to say her name here but my mom knew her.

If my mom was here right now, it makes me wonder, like, what the hell would she say to this girl that after 30 years of friendship overnight, she decided, you know what, you're too much work and I'm not going to be your friend anymore.

Yeah, my mom like holds grudges for me.

I'll be like, oh, so-and-so told me.

And she'll be like, isn't that the person that like did this?

Yeah, well, I think most moms, I would hold a grudge too.

I mean, I'm super protective of my friends.

I don't want to see any friends getting hurt.

What I want to see, and there's a lot of this conversation, especially here in Hollywood, is women supporting women, women,

you know, joining forces.

I don't want to see this kind of behavior that you're like looking down at someone, or you were just telling me this morning.

I don't know if you want to share the story, how somebody told your mom about your weight.

What the hell is that?

You know,

yeah, um, what happened?

Like, a photo of me on Facebook, whatever, unedited, by the way, but I've been, you know, like skateboarding a lot, working out.

And

also, I was in a corset, so like, you know, whatever.

I looked great.

And, like, somebody like messaged my mom and was like, oh, like, is she okay?

Like, is she eating?

And then, like, my mom called me like four times and I was working and I couldn't answer.

And she's like, oh my God, thank God.

I just want to make sure you're okay.

Somebody messaged this photo of me and you look very sick, blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, who does that?

You know what I mean?

Well, first of all, like mission accomplished right like goals

i'm so thin that people are worrying about me but that also happened to me in college where this like friend of me at hadrom high school she like sent me a screenshot of my own instagram and was like you look really skinny are you okay

yeah i think that i think skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming

it's not nice to do that to someone at all it has happened to me too in the past and i think uh calling our mom and saying they're worried about how the hell can they be worried about you obviously it's not true they're just being a friend to me because you know what you eat you eat super healthy you eat super clean clean i don't think it's anybody's place to call your mom and tell them that they're worried about you they're just worrying your mom for nothing

yeah exactly it's super unnecessary and like um

You know what?

I almost kind of feel like, okay, like goals, you know, like mission accomplished if I'm so thin, people are worried about me.

You know, I'm doing something right, but at the same time, like, it doesn't come from a place of love, also, it comes from competition.

And I think that maybe the reason why some of these people are this way, because now that I'm thinking about this, these girls that I grew up with that were so freaking weird, um, I think it's like because

of their mommies, their mommy didn't kiss them enough, you know.

I honestly don't know why, but like you said, if it comes from a place of jealousy, of just being mean for the sake of being mean, it's awful.

I don't think these kinds of comments come from a place of love.

Like you just said, I see you on video almost every day.

I see your social media.

Yes, I think you look insanely fabulous.

You look super thin, which is a necessary evil for a lot of our jobs.

But I don't think you look unhealthily thin.

You were here.

You were here in LA with me for a month.

And yeah, you don't eat a lot.

You don't eat carbs.

You avoid carbs like most women on the planet, except me, because I can't resist.

I can't resist bread.

I guess it's the French and me.

French for you.

Yeah, but I think you look great.

I think you look great.

And yeah, so if somebody makes a comment, oh my god, you look too thin, maybe they need to look at themselves and wonder, why the hell are you criticizing my weight?

You know,

it's just not nice.

It goes back so far with this friend because this is my friend from high school and like she's a Sagittarius.

I think I can say that.

And so I kind of trusted her and I didn't really know.

And like she would take things that I told her and like spin them and tell them to other people.

And then eventually all of my friends were like mad at me and she was like the only friend, but she was still kind of friends with everybody else, you know?

And she would like come over to my house on the weekends or I'd go to hers, whatever.

And like, she just did not have my back.

She'd always say to me, like, try and be normal, try and be normal.

And then like her brother was um older than us and he'd have his hot friends over and she like sometimes I'd have plans to go sleep over their house the same night that the hot friends would sleep over which like duh that's why I was friends with them and

and um

and then she'd be like oh sorry I can't like last minute and she'd always like I'd always be like can you owe me it out like they know me they see me you know like let's set up a little a little meet and greet at your house and she never did that and I think it's also part of how she was raised because her mom was super thin super workout always kind of on her case case about dieting and, you know, giving her clothes that were too big for her.

Her mom gave her clothes that were too big for her when she's in high school.

I mean, that's got to do a number on you, right?

And so I think part of it, maybe it does stem from like how she was raised is like if you're a mother and you put your kid in

maybe

good enough, then they're going to put put that out into the universe for other people.

Well, look, this is my take on this subject.

I think talking about somebody's weight is a very delicate subject.

If you have a friend and they come to you, like if I tell you, oh my god, I'm a little overweight, can you help me?

One thing is encouraging someone.

Let's work out together, let's eat healthy together, blah, blah, blah.

But just fat shaming or thin shaming, whatever the hell it is, I think it's 1 million percent not okay, not nasty.

And I have to say something else about that before I forget.

I think

relationships, our relationships with men are tough enough.

Like most women, when we are in bed with men, we are always self-conscious of our bodies, how we look.

Oh, does he like my butt?

Does he like my boobs?

It's tough enough that we are so critical of ourselves and that many times our relationships with men and our bodies are complicated.

We don't need women talking about our weight.

We don't need our friends.

We don't need other girls calling us out on how thin or how fat we are.

That's just not nice, right?

I saw something on Twitter actually, and it's like this girl, and she's like, I got the, I've naturally been a skinny person my whole life.

I've always been thin.

I got the flu and I lost a bunch of weight.

Now everybody's telling me how great I look.

And so now I know when you're commenting on thin people's, on fat people's photos about how healthy they are, thin people's photos about how healthy they are.

Like realistically, if you're, if you're overweight, it's more likely that you're unhealthy right yes

right like yeah so

it i don't think too skinny is unhealthy right unless you can see my floating ribs or whatever like any doctor i see would commit me so you know your concerns are valid but not valid exactly i think you need like you said if it comes from a place of love fantastic but if it comes from a place of gossip like calling your mom and saying oh my god i'm worried about her it's like serious are you freaking kidding me let's act like adults.

Let's be supportive of each other.

Like I said, the world is already tough enough, you know, out there.

And I think when it comes to girlfriends and our inner circle, everybody should be a little more loving.

That's my message for this half.

We're going to take a two-minute break and we're going to come back and chat some more.

And Dylan is very pensive right now.

You're thinking about the mean girl.

Are you thinking about what you're going to have for lunch?

No, it's already past your lunch time

in Miami.

We'll be right back.

And I'm losing your audio, so we got to fix that.

We'll be right back for the second half of this Tuesday, Cat on the Lose.

And by the way, you girls know that listening.

If you have stories of Ming Girl behavior, please by all means DM us on Instagram, Kat Zamudo or Rio Kat on the Loose or Billy and Dylan, or send me a message on WhatsApp.

My WhatsApp is public, 310-592-0578.

and we would love to hear from you this is an all-inclusive podcast i'll be right back

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Okay, we're back.

I'm in LA.

Dylan is in Miami.

We're doing this podcast live, non-edited, 100% organic, fat-free for you girlies.

And we are talking today about

a kind of relationship that pains me to talk about, which is our relationship with our girlfriends.

And like I was saying, we have enough issues with men.

We are always talking about men.

Oh, he goes to me, he likes me, he doesn't like me, da-da-da-da dating.

Apps, this is so tough.

Play the game, don't play the game.

So, when we have to talk about girls acting mean towards us, girls acting acting bizarre, just being frenemies, it really, really pains me.

I'm telling you, everybody out there, I wish we never had to talk about it.

We are not in high school anymore, we are all grown as adults, but unfortunately, it seems that men are much more loyal to their guy friends, and girls are so freaking competitive to each other.

Do you feel the same vibe, Dylan?

Yeah.

It just breaks my heart because honestly, this is the thing.

I don't think girls should see another woman as competition.

And why?

Because let's say you're with a guy, okay, you have a boyfriend, like in Dylan, you were dating somebody for years.

I think if the guy likes you, he should like you.

There is always going to be girls flirting with him.

There is nothing you can do about it.

But if the guy likes you, he's going to be loyal to you.

So who cares if the other girl is pretty or tall or thin or younger?

I think the loyalty of your man should be to you.

Do you agree?

I agree entirely.

Yes, 100%.

Yeah, so like if a friend or a frenemy is flirting with your dude, I think it's his responsibility to say to you, hey, look, this girl is not really your friend because she's freaking flirting with me.

And I think in your case, you had like this really bizarre situation with one of your girlfriends that she was flirting with your boyfriend or something.

Yeah.

Super weird.

Like

she was like, when I would be like away, right?

Which I like, I travel a lot.

Everybody that knows me knows that about me.

And when I would be like away, she likes on occasion, she would be here, or there was one time I had to go away and like her, she was here with him.

And I'm like, I was going to kick her out, but it was like, whatever, you can stay with me.

She was your guest at your apartment.

With a guest in my apartment, yeah.

And your boyfriend was living with you.

It wasn't that I trusted her.

It was that I trusted him.

Exactly.

That's what I just said.

Yeah.

You need to trust the boyfriend.

But did he tell you that she was flirting with him or not?

Yes.

And at the same time, it's like I'm making a sacrifice for her.

I'm not, you know, she wasn't paying me to stay in my place or even like cleaning up after herself.

You know, it was like not, I was not getting anything.

I was just, you know, being a good, you know, no good deal goes unpunished, as they say.

I guess not.

But yeah, she stayed here.

And he told me that, like, she was weird because she was like, um,

oh, like, do you think I could get in the bed with you because the couch isn't comfortable?

And

she's

staying here for a few days on the couch while I'm in the bed with him.

And

she's like, yeah, the couch isn't comfortable.

Do you think I could stay on the bed?

And then he's like, oh, yeah, I guess, whatever.

And then she's like, oh, like, it's really hot.

Like, is it okay if I take off my pants?

Are you serious?

Oh, my God.

That is crossing all the lines of friendship on the planet.

That's doing that at your home while you're gone and your boyfriend is there.

I mean, I don't think it gets much more disgusting than that.

I know, and then I also felt like kind of blessed because I'm like, wow, he told me about it.

Yeah, I mean, yes, I don't guys would just, you know, go for it and not say anything, whatever.

But, like, it's really hard to have people that you can't trust in your own home.

Totally.

And then she was like trying to pimp him out when I was out of town and introducing him to people.

Oh, my God.

Our friend that still talks to my ex,

and like, it just was like, yo,

that's just awful but that's what we were going back to talking about loyalty the the good news is that he was super loyal to you and i think that's the only way it should be but did you confront her

I tried to like I know she's like a liar so it's kind of hard to confront people like that what I mean they're like predictable as shit they're gonna lie that's how it is you know like it's almost not even worth it because you can like predict how the whole conversation goes so true or just angry because it's like why did you know i knew better and i still took the bait um so i tried to like confront her about it um

and

like even when i was in even when i was in la and like he was here watering my place she would like she came in and like went through all of my shit like ransacked my shit took a bunch of my shit are you serious

but it's like the principle of it you know what i mean like it's just things it's replaceable but like you know these are my hand curated items that i picked out for myself because i wanted them and then like as soon as she found out i was out of town she like took advantage of like the situation that's awful that's really bad

like i said it breaks my heart so i don't i don't understand it i don't get it um i don't know what she could possibly have to gain from it um

So how did you get how did so obviously this is the end of this friendship?

Because I think what she did is pretty serious, right?

Definitely.

And she's been friends with me for like, we met like three boyfriends ago.

You count how long you've been friends based on the boyfriends.

The real Julian calendar.

Yeah, that's so funny.

No, but so, so then I wonder, like, and those, like, those guys, they wouldn't have told me, you know, they would not have mentioned that to me.

That would have been like their little secret for sure.

See, but that's why I go back to how important loyalty is.

To me, loyalty is everything.

I need to know that somebody has my back when they're not with me.

Well, if he boned her and then he told me that he boned her, like,

yeah, I would still be more mad at her.

She had sounds like she like threw herself at him.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

She's like staying on my couch.

So obviously she doesn't have a better option.

So like, you know what I mean?

I get why she would throw herself at my boyfriend.

Maybe like feeling low or actually being low in life whatever but um I just remember thinking like damn how many times has this happened before with other people that never even mentioned it to me you know what I mean yeah

kind of like like I know her well so I know that she's not like necessarily choosy with her partners and so that also brings like a cleanliness thing to the

That's super gross.

But you know, I had a similar story.

I had forgotten completely about it, and I just remembered I had a really good friend, I thought she was my really good friend in Miami.

We were super close, and I was dating a guy.

The story is on season one because he was my most serious relationship after Anthony, my husband, died.

We were dating for about two years, and I was madly in love with the guy.

Uh, the whole story of Min Hoko is on season one because he ended up dying of COVID last year, And

believe it or not, when he died, I was helping his kids, you know, take care of everything, everything that needed to be done for the final, blah, blah, blah.

Anyways, so I had his phone with me the first few days because we were getting a million calls, whatever.

And as I had his phone, I saw that this person that I actually thought was one of my best friends in the world was texting him the entire time, basically throwing herself at him.

Like, hey, do you want to come for a ride on my boat?

And then he would be like, oh, sure, sounds great.

Let me ask Kat.

And then she would be like, no, no, no, you don't understand it.

I'm inviting you to come on a ride on my boat by yourself.

So I noticed,

and he never told me, by the way.

he never told me so i never would have known and then like i said obviously he died which is super sad.

But all of their conversations for months and months on end, from the conversations, it seems he never took her offers and never went out with her.

But he was kind of obviously, his ego was totally enjoying it because she kept going on and on.

Oh, Kat tells me.

And yeah, that's a mistake I made, girls.

By the way, I used to brag to all my girlfriends that he was great in bed and that his dick was hard as a rock.

Don't brag about your boyfriend.

It's also in the self-help book.

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever brag.

No, it's not.

I think my mom told me that.

Never, that's something good.

Keep it to yourself.

Yes.

Exactly.

But I was so stupid.

I was so naive.

So I did say that to like my three best friends at the time: oh, that this guy was incredible.

He has such stamina.

I don't know how the fuck he does it because we have sex one, two, three, four times, and his dick is hard as a rock.

And so this girl kept texting me, texting him all the time, months and months on end.

Oh, Kat tells me that you're so good in bad, and I have to see it for myself, L-O-L,

because I don't believe it.

You know, she was like baiting him and baiting him and baiting him all the while, like frequenting my home, going out with me, making believe she was one of my best friends.

And she was,

I know, and i think she wasn't his type but of course when a woman is texting you and saying oh i want to bang you i want to you i want to see if you're that good of course she was feeding his ego so instead of telling me the truth or telling her hey i don't think this is right i really love cat i'm with her he kept feeding into it you know having these conversations and laughing and but I don't think they ever went out but I honestly think he was disloyal on both ends so when he died and i read all the conversations on his phone i was like oh my god what a

on wheels all the men in miami do you really have to flirt with one of your best friends guys like guys seriously who does that right

who does that you

exactly you

I know, it's just disgusting shit.

And you know what?

I never confronted her.

I never said anything.

i just i saw her a few times after that because i wanted to see if she was gonna act like my friend and she kept acting like she was my friend and so slowly but surely i just cut her off i think a person like that is such a snake to for you to be near a girl like if you're having a relationship the last man i want to bang in the world is your boyfriend i mean seriously there's so many men out there why in the world would you want to do anything?

Like, why would you want to hurt one of your best friends?

Right.

I've had a,

it's so funny you mentioned that because I've had a friend like that for years and she's like a pathological liar.

I know for a fact she's like a pathological liar and also kind of like single white females, me, you know, like I wanted to go to law school and she told me she was going to law school, blah, blah, blah.

There's no record of the law school.

Then she told me she's studying for the bar.

There's no, there's no record of her passing the bar.

This is all bullshit for three years.

Now I'm talking to her.

I'm thinking she's in law school.

shit.

It's complete bullshit.

I have a palm.

She gets a palm.

You know what I mean?

And she always is like trying to do what I'm doing.

And like, you know, it's weird.

So I know she's like, so has sociopathic tendencies.

Oh my god, yes.

Kind of like asking about my, you know, asking about my sex life and talking about it.

And, you know, obviously she doesn't value herself because I've seen like some of her guys, you know, that she's around.

She, oh my god, I'll tell you that later about her whole setup.

You know, rich boyfriend, poor boyfriend.

We'll talk about that later.

But basically, she,

I know for a fact that she's a compulsive liar.

I know for a fact she's going to try and fuck my boyfriend, whichever, whoever it is, you know.

And she actually did fuck one of my boyfriends in the past while we were on a break.

And it was just to like get at me.

And then

listen, why would you bring back, why would you.

I'm like, you were in his apartment at nighttime with your friend and you decided to stay the night there after you went to brunch, and it was already nighttime.

Like,

and I asked you not to meet up with him.

You met up with him, and now you're going to tell me he raped you.

And I know him very well.

He would never, he has too much to lose.

But, Dylan, why would you continue to be friends with somebody that did that to you?

Because that's freaking off.

When somebody betrays my trust, honestly, to me, it's like broken glass.

I don't see how you can like spend time gluing the little pieces.

If you betray my trust, that's it.

You know, bye.

Thank you so much.

Moving on.

Why in the world would you continue a relationship with a friend that does that to you?

That's just freaking awful.

Well, honestly, now, and

Scorpio things, it's still Scorpio season, so I guess I can get myself.

I am friends with her because I think she's actually, she's like, she's a funny person.

She's fun to talk to.

I know if I keep her at arm's length, it can be fine.

You know, I don't see her in person or anything like that, but I also realized that I can use this tool.

Now that I know for a fact, she's going to try and hit on every boyfriend of mine, no matter what, why don't I introduce her to my boyfriend and see what I

mean?

You use her as bait?

Girl, she wanted to like, she came over, she wanted to sleep in the bed with me, and we were like sleeping, and I was in the middle, and he was on one side.

I don't know why the funky was like, he's always here.

He wasn't in his place, whatever.

He's on one side of me.

She's in the middle.

I'm in the middle, and she's on the other side of me, right?

We used to like cuddle when we were kids.

She like taught me how to make out with tongue in the park.

Like we were close.

Oh, you're too funny.

So we were close.

And like.

Tongue close.

And so

he told me that like while we were asleep, she like took his hand and like pulled it over me.

Like, because I was, I passed out, right?

I'm normally the first one to pass out.

She took his hand and like kept pulling it over onto her and like put it on her tit.

Oh my god, that's and like, and then I grabbed it, right?

And it's weird, and it's super weird that he said that, but I like also immediately believed it.

I immediately was like, yes, she would totally do that.

Wow.

Unless, I mean, you guys were together in bed, but unless you have an agreement beforehand, okay, we can do a threesome and play around.

But if you were really just lying there to be nice to her, yeah, then that's super out of inappropriate, I think.

Yeah, and he's like, I grabbed my hand away, and then she took it and back again,

and he's like, It was really just innocent, you know.

And I'm like, No, that's not fucking innocent, you know what I mean?

It's just not like she's trying to get you to grab her tip.

What is this supposed to lead to, you know?

Everybody listen,

putting somebody's hand on your boobs is not innocent.

You want some action.

That's like second base.

Yeah, well, I I don't know if it's first base or second base, but you don't put somebody's hand like here just to be innocent.

Making out is first base, right?

And second base is grabbing the tips, right?

I'm not sure.

I guess so, yeah.

It's been so long.

I know.

It's been so long.

Yeah, I either am with somebody and I do everything, or I guess

I don't do anything.

All the way home.

All the way home.

But it's funny, you said that the single white female, it's a creepy thing.

Yeah, this woman that was texting my now deceased boyfriend, may God rest his soul, because he was a good man, but he was a womanizer and an a-hole.

But anyways,

she, the same thing, she was always a brunette, brunette, brunette, brunette.

Then all of a sudden, it was kind of creepy.

One day she sends me a photo.

She's like, oh my God, look what I did to my hair.

And she was blonde, very blonde, like from major bland to blonde.

I was like, oh, that looks good.

You look okay, you look good like a blonde.

A few days later, like a week later, she sends me another picture.

Oh my God, look what I did to my hair.

And she shows up with extensions.

And I looked at her picture and it really creeped me out.

It creeped me out because I was like, okay, now she's looking really a lot like me.

because she has brown eyes her hair looks identical to mine i was a little creeped out, and my boyfriend at the time looked at the picture and he agreed.

She was like, Oh, I'm not going to say her name, blah, blah, blah.

Is she trying to become you?

And he was laughing, but he knew she was flirting with him, trying to bang him.

But at the time, he didn't tell me anything.

So, yeah, totally, yeah, it really creeped me out.

Now, looking back, I should have seen some signs, but I just have this inner sense that I trust the people around me a lot like i trust a hundred percent and i always hope that your best friends are not going to betray you you know are not going to go after your man because i think that's so foul i believe in karma i just would never want that energy for me

same

same it's not freaking worth it ever

And I don't know because I, we don't understand what it's like to be jealous like that, I guess.

Like, what is jealousy?

Like, just be better, duh, you know?

Exactly.

And look, like, again, like I said, I keep using you as an example.

If you're dating the hottest guy on the planet and he's treating you like a princess and you are super happy in your new relationship, I am going to be insanely happy for you.

I don't want anybody else's guy.

I don't want a man that likes you.

I want a man that likes me.

So I just don't understand this behavior of some girls literally trying to go after some other girl's guy why would you do that you know it makes no sense to me i mean i don't know it's just sometimes this girl's behavior just appalls me

yeah i mean that this kind of happened to me and um

if i may you may

I went to go meet my ex's family in Canada and there was this girl there, whatever, and I met her and like we became friends whatever and you know I always like

it was like a we were together you know but it was like kind of you know we didn't really talk about we didn't really define the relationship and all of that you know it was very insecure and so she

and I kind of played off that honestly sorry

and she like really liked him and like wanted to be with him whatever she's like he's such a great guy blah blah blah I'm like yeah I think he's gay but yeah yeah he's totally a great guy you know maybe not a great boyfriend but a great guy you know a lot of fun to hang out with and um

she was like and i thought and she came to visit actually here and i thought i could trust her and i told her all these things and um long story short she now lives with him oh so she took your your guy away from you

well i actually I actually dumped him first

and then he like wanted me to move to Europe with him.

He's like, why don't you want to get married, Dylan?

And I'm like, because I'm 23.

And he wanted me to move to Europe with him.

And I really didn't want to do that.

And I thought it would be miserable.

And I realized I definitely would.

Yeah.

But this is what I would say.

Yeah, I think you dodge the bullet.

If a guy

is not with you and he decides to hook up with one of your girlfriends, to me, it's just like falls into creepy territory, disloyal territory.

So you're much better off without this person for sure.

Again, like I said, I think the message of this episode is we really need to look into ourselves.

If you have, it's so difficult this day and age to have loyal, special friends, right?

With social media and all these followers, blah, blah, blah.

We all think we have hundreds and hundreds of friends, but we don't.

We have acquaintances, we have followers, we have business contacts.

If you have a few friends that you love, that are close to you, in my mind, cherish them, appreciate them, be happy for them.

And especially women, if your girlfriends are successful, my goodness, be freaking happy for them.

Join forces, raise them all the way to the top, you know, because I think united, we are so much stronger.

I mean, I am 1 million percent.

against disloyalty.

To me, that's like a complete, complete deal breaker.

So I really hope

on next season instead of doing a mean girls episode we can do a united girls episode

yes I like that a lot

yeah

uh-huh what was that you're breaking up a little bit I said it sounds like a step in the right direction yes I know because seriously when when I hear stories your stories my stories anybody's stories of adult girls behaving shady towards each other I think that's super nasty.

You know, I did an interview a few weeks ago.

I don't know if you listen to it.

It's a podcast that I love.

It's about the Bravo TV celebrities.

And

the girl that does the podcast, she wanted to interview me for the podcast.

And she asked me if I would ever accept to do the Bravo TV show, the housewives.

I don't know if you ever watched it.

And I told her I would never do the show.

And she asked me why.

And I said, exactly because I see this super successful women, beautiful, gorgeous.

A lot of them have millions, gazillions of dollars, successful businesses, and they're shading each other.

all the time.

They're so nasty to each other.

They talk about each other, each other's backs, and they say nasty shit to each other on camera.

And I could never be, as much as I love the show and I I admire the women because it's a guilty pleasure to watch it I could never do that to a girl that I love on camera just for ratings it just makes me so sad to see their behavior you know yeah definitely like if you and I did a show together I would do many other things for ratings.

I would even take my clothes off for ratings.

But I would never shade you or trash you, you know, on TV for ratings.

I just can't do that.

We would maybe fight.

We do that for free.

Yeah, yeah, of course, because we're human beings.

We have, yeah,

we have bad days and good days.

But I think at least for us, all the times we did have fights or arguments, we are humble enough the next day to go and say, okay, you know, I love you.

I'm sorry, or you're sorry, or we need to fix this and fix that.

But I mean, that's different from just shading people and trashing people.

Definitely.

Okay, Doki, so this was our Tuesday's episode.

Thank you so much for being here.

Oh, and I have something super exciting to say.

On Friday, we are going to be interviewing a relationship coach all the way from Australia.

I know.

I couldn't believe it when she sent me a message.

Cat on the Luz is being listened all over the world, different countries.

She found us all the way in Australia.

So I was so excited.

Yes, that's the dating scene I'm actually most interested in.

I mean, everybody is beautiful according to what I've seen.

Everybody says that in Australia, there is like a gazillion men for each girl

because there are a lot of

more men there.

We can ask her that.

Her name is Tatiana.

She's an author.

She's a psychotherapist.

She's a personal relationship speaker.

And I can't wait to pick her brain about 10 million things.

But I am actually super excited because, yeah, there is the cultural difference.

difference.

I want to ask her about because people do say that Australia is a great place for me.

I don't know if I would ever move to Australia.

Maybe for a law of God knows, you know, we do crazy things in the world.

So, I can't wait to interview her next Friday.

So, you guys stay tuned.

Super cool, right?

Thank you for being here, Dylan.

And you look skinny, but amazing.

So, as long as you're eating healthy, that's fantastic.

Thanks, kitty cat.

And I'll see you on Friday,

guys.

You look at my Instagram, tell me if you think it's sickly.

I'll put a poll out there.

Oh, yeah, good idea.

No, no, you just look like a fabulous supermodel.

But yeah, if you guys want to see her body, Billy and Dylan, she just did a post on her corset, and I think you look incredible.

And I'll see you guys on Friday.

This was Kat on the Loot Tuesday.

Bye, Dill.

Love you.

Bye.

You guys, please send us your messages like always.