East Coast or West Coast Dating...

Oh my god, I am so happy to be back at just this beautiful, beautiful Tuesday here in LA, launching the fourth season of Cat on the Loose.

It's been a while, so I hope you guys miss me half as much as I missed you.

And I am starting the season with a super special, not a guest, but that's the surprise this season.

An amazing, fabulous co-host slash sidekick slash BFF, a girl that I love so much.

You guys that follow me on Instagram must have seen her by now.

Dylan, also known as Billion Dylan.

Hi, Dylan.

Hi, Kat.

It's so amazing to have you here with me to kick off this season four.

Oh, Cat on the Loose.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for having me.

So I'm in LA.

You were in LA with me for a few weeks.

Now you're back in Miami.

So we are doing this via Zoom by coastal, which is great because we can have the perspective of dating on two different coasts.

So

let's start with that because you and I were talking about it off the air.

You were here with me in LA for like a month, but you are an East Coast girl.

And I am completely 1 million percent a West Coast girl.

And I think that's probably the main reason why Miami never worked out for me very well.

The question I have for you is, did you feel a difference on the dating scene?

Because remember, I used to tell you that I thought it was so much harder dating in Florida, blah, blah, blah.

Did you think that, did you agree with me?

Or how was your first impression of dating here in LA?

Oh, well, my first impression,

it's different there for sure.

It's a little bit colder.

But people are also more real.

I noticed that, you know, for me, like, if you want to take me out, we've, we've established some form of trust where I'm comfortable with you in the cart for you to come pick me up, right?

You know, I always have my taser in tow anyway.

Oh, yeah, I have to tell people that the girl comes armed and dangerous with a flashlight that is actually a taser.

So you're like all prepared.

How am I going to get it through customs now?

In case the guy's a cripple, you're not afraid.

Exactly, exactly.

So, so you know i think that's fine i would expect you know i'm not gonna uh meet up with you whatever it's it's it's like it's not a business meeting you know what i mean right and so i think i like to be picked up like a lady i don't know it's just what i'm what i'm you like to be picked up right on the first date yes yeah that's something we talked about because to me i don't want to be picked up by someone i don't know like the first time i kind of rather meet them at the place but you said no just freaking pick me up.

Yeah, really, like all the girls on the west coast are like, you know, they want to meet people, they want to vet them before they are in the car with them.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

But

I don't know.

I think, I think the car ride is an important first step.

You got to see if they're going to get your door for you.

You know, what kind of effort they're going to make, right?

And what kind of man they are.

I think you can tell maybe in the first five minutes.

how the conversation goes, you know,

if they're battering you with questions or if they're just, you know, slow and chill and talking to you.

Well, now let's just say you're on a first date with some dude, like you were here in Miami, in Miami, no, in LA, sorry, you don't know the city all that well, and then, okay, he gets the door for you, he picks you up.

What if you get in the guy's car and he's an absolute douche or you hate him or something?

Then you're stuck in his car.

That's a good point.

You are stuck in his car.

I guess the only friend lights you can jump out at.

But for me,

even if he's an absolute douche, at some point it becomes, okay, this is going to be part of the screenplay, right?

This is just pure entertainment, or it's going to be part of the podcast later.

So I think you can kind of tread through it because this guy is going to take you out.

He's going to take you to dinner.

He's going to pick you up.

You know, there's going to be tablecloths there and silverware.

I think that, like,

there's an element of chivalry that's there.

At least at some point he was raised right.

At some point he figured it out, right?

So, but did you think that dating here was easier?

Like that the men were more of a

gentleman and nicer than Miami or you didn't see a difference at all?

I would say that they were definitely less thirsty

for sex and more thirsty for a relationship.

Yeah, they take their time a little more, right?

What?

They take their time a little more to get to know you instead of just jumping on you the first date.

Definitely, but also on the first date, they'll throw some carrots out there, like, oh, I'm going to Beckenridge or, you know, I'm going to Colorado skiing, you know, I have a cabin there or something like that.

They throw out these little like carrots, like, okay, you know, we haven't,

you know, my wife's not even here yet, and you're telling me about your place in Colorado, you know, it's almost like insecurity, but everyone almost was like, has some ties to skiing in Colorado?

And that was like the carrot they chose.

In Miami, I guess it's Bahamas.

Yeah.

In Miami, I think that most people in general just want to party.

That's the feeling I had there when I was living there and I wanted to date.

I felt that many times they kind of lie to you that they want to take you on a date, that they want to take you out of dinner, but they really just want to bang you at the end of the night.

They're full of shit.

And like you said, I think here in LA, and when I tell people that they think I'm crazy, because they see Hollywood as this fake land of a lot of crazy people and actors, but I actually think people here are more real.

When they take you on a date, like you said, they actually want to talk to you, have a conversation, find out about you, take you to dinner, not necessarily like, oh my God, I got to get bangered tonight.

Do you agree?

i would definitely agree with that yes culturally it's extremely different i would say um

yeah it's not it's not about that really and um it's not so like tit for tat and yeah guys in miami they definitely that's all that's all that they're interested in they'll be with a girl they'll be with their mother their kid whatever they don't care they'll check you out you know and in la you don't see that at all like at all yeah i actually remember i remember you mentioned that a few times, and I was kind of laughing when I said it because you were saying that you walk on the streets, and of course, you're gorgeous.

You look like Cameron Diaz, you look like a supermodel.

If you guys don't know what she looks like, go to my Instagram, you're going to find her there.

And you, many times, you would come home and say, Kat, the guys don't look at me, they don't like come on to.

And I'm saying, well, that's because I think in Miami, they're just

literally walking on the street and they drew all over you.

And here they're a little more subdued.

And but to you, it was kind of shocking, right?

You thought it was something wrong with you, but they're just trying to be a little more respectful.

Exactly, exactly.

And like, I've been on the other side of it too.

So I'm not saying like that I want that.

Of course, I don't want that.

I don't think it's appropriate at all.

But I've been on the other side of that where if you have a boyfriend in Miami, right?

You catch one, right?

It's like you have a trophy, you got this hot, tall guy in your arm, you know, and these girls are like checking them out, right?

And then, like, sometimes, depending on the guy, right, I've evolved, but in the past, they would like check out the girls too, or be flirting with the waitress at dinner or whatever it may be.

And it's

almost like a trophy here to have a guy or to be in a relationship.

But in LA, it's the norm.

So, here, I think being single is what is like the norm.

That's what everybody wants, that's what everybody eventually comes back to.

But in LA, it's more like if

you're not coupled up, then you're out.

You know, it's like a stage walking dance.

So true.

So the month that you were here, can we talk a little bit about, I think you went on a few dates, right?

With one person.

How was that?

You went on a few dates with a few different people.

You know, you got to keep the rotation.

You've got to keep it.

The rotation.

Oh, my God.

You're too funny.

You can't catch feelings too soon, right?

Did you know, Dylan, that you're the only girl that ever came on the show that ever said that her favorite dating app is tinder

you're the only girl yes you're the only girl that ever said that all the girls always go for a bumble or something else you're the only tinderette

that's so funny that you mentioned that actually because i was just thinking about earlier today i was thinking about how you uh how i i actually switched from tinder to bumble while i was in a layer oh you did because it was all yeah you know don't go for an actor Dylan, you know?

And in Miami, it's modeled, right?

Yeah.

In LA, the brokery ones, they're actors, you know, or aspiring, whatever.

Yes.

Nothing against actors, by the way.

Let's do a parenthesis here because I have a lot of actor friends, but I just...

Yeah, you didn't say that.

Yeah, I just, no, I did.

I own it, but.

But I personally wouldn't date an actor because I just think it's too complicated.

So that's just my, but I love them as friends.

and that's why they always date each other like in Hollywood right they always end up with each other because it's like a lifestyle maybe yeah

so I noticed I noticed that I noticed it's a lot of actors also Tinder headquarters is in LA oh it is I didn't even know that

yeah

so I saw a few that were like

that like one that said you know their job I forgot if it was bumble or tinder but they had their job as tinder and they were like just testing the app you know tinder of course

that was his whole bio, just testing the app.

And I thought that was so funny.

You know what I mean?

I don't know if I would put out there that my job was at Tinder if I worked at Tinder, would you?

I mean, it was like a coder.

It's all like coders.

I actually looked into it to see if they were interested in influencers or anything like that or any creative things, which they are a little bit.

Yeah, I don't know if I would work for Tinder, but I've spent so much time on it that I mean, I should be on payroll.

I know, right?

Yeah, technically, we are testing it all the time.

I get asked that question all the freaking time if I am on these dating apps for research purposes, for the podcast.

And of course, the answer is no.

I was on the dating apps because I wanted to meet someone.

I'm a believer in the fairy tale and I'm a believer in love.

And I think it can happen.

You know, I know people that met.

their soulmate or their boyfriend or their girlfriend or their husband on this apps.

Definitely.

And now that we've put it all up, now that we're putting it all up, they're going to have to hold a funeral for our kitty lights.

I know.

So you met some dude here in LA through Bumble.

And how was that?

Was he nice?

He was very nice,

very honest with me, which I like.

Wouldn't normally be like my type, but I'll tell you the whole story.

So I'm on this app, whatever, and like I go sometimes if I'm bored or whatever, you know, so like it's not like a it's not something I need.

Actually, I prefer my own company most of the time.

But I'm on this app and whatever, I go and you know, and you have 24 hours for them to respond.

And I actually recently learned a hack where if you comment on one of their photos and they have 24 hours to respond.

So

I did not know that.

So that's a good tip for our listeners.

So can you explain that again?

So

sure.

Yeah, because I'm not good at bumble.

So explain it to the girls out there.

Okay.

So Tinder, you kind of have to like tap through the photos.

Bumble, you have to scroll up or down, which it's a learning curve because you can accidentally left swipe on somebody that's on when you're trying to see more.

But once you scroll up past the first photo, you'll see like more photos and weird little blog style bio, whatever.

And then if there's a way to react to their photo, there's like a little like button in one of of the bottom left or right corner.

And if you hold it down, you can react and send like one of five emojis.

And if you send those emojis, then instead of it being on you, whatever you should match, right, it's on them.

And they have 20 photos.

So can you do that without ever sending like a message?

Just like

just going through their profile.

Uh-huh.

You react and then you like it and then they have time.

I guess reacting is an automatic like and then they have time to respond.

Awesome.

You guys heard it here major bumble

insider tip

I loved

why did you say this guy was in your type

I met him for like two seconds and I thought he was cute he was nice

I like really tall guys

I like really I like guys that are like super macho that like super have it together that know what they want

that are like

you know that are just like strong right yeah smarter than me older than me wiser than me so this guy was a lot older than you by the way right can we say that yeah you're 28 and he was like in his 40s

yeah so that's a good age difference

yeah

I always like I was a little bit older than me too yeah

one of my best relationships I was like 23 and he was 38.

And like, it just, there was no more.

Can I first come here?

Yeah, of course.

There was no more fuck boy shit with him, you know?

He was like, He's getting me flowers, he's got it together, he's got a cleaning lady.

My dress cleaning goes with his, you know, it's like you had a cleaning lady, that's like adult shit, right?

And the cleaning lady, she didn't think I knew Spanish, so she always like try and hide.

So, like, she'd always try and like tell me something.

But

oh my God, that's funny.

That's funny.

The lady, and I go way back.

I wish you would come clean my place.

I know.

In general, I agree because I think men just take longer to mature and go through certain phases in life.

And yeah, usually if you meet an older guy, he has his shit together.

That being said, they also come with a lot of baggage.

Many of them are divorced and have kids and da da da da da.

So you got to be careful that you don't get tangled up in some kind of a relationship or situationship with some dude that doesn't have his marriage, whatever the hell resolved before you.

That's the only thing I would say about dating an older guy.

Exactly, definitely.

You want to make sure, like,

yeah, that, like, they don't have a lot of actions, right?

So let's get.

You want to make sure, first of all, that they're not married.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

How do you, how, well, I mean, I think it's hard to lie nowadays, isn't it?

With all the googling and the social media and the information, how would they lie about that?

Yeah, but in California, records are sealed

records are sealed in California, so you can't see the details.

So it's harder, like even property, you can't look up somebody, you know, in Florida, you can look up

the property appraiser and find out if it's really their house.

You know, there's all sorts of things you could do in the East Coast that you can't in California.

You can snoop a little more.

Yeah, definitely.

But yeah, but still, most people who are married, they have some kind of a life, like, let's say the wife or the kids

post on social media.

You know, it's a little harder to hide your life.

And at some point, you want to go to the dude's house, right?

And yes, it's so true.

And I have a saying

that I came up with myself, and it's that the first wife always gets the last laugh.

And it's so true because it's always, even if they're divorced or over, they've been divorced for 10 years or they got married for a green card, whatever, it may be, it's always that, oh my ex-wife, this, oh, my ex-wife, they're always on their mind, always on their mind.

Do you think so?

I think, yeah, I think if they have kids with the ex-wife, yeah, of course, the ex-wife is always going to be a part of their lives to a certain extent.

But the key is to find a man who's completely resolved.

I don't want to date a guy who has feelings for the ex-wife, that's for sure.

Yeah, I don't even know if it's feelings and I don't know if kids are necessary I feel like it's like that's the first person that got them to like commit right it's not it's like stronger than their first love right it's like their first ceremony that is such a good point I never thought about that yeah

it's a commitment so you don't think they ever get over the the first wife I mean a lot of men seem to be fine

Well, statistically, people, and I always remind them of this,

like whenever they bring up marriage or whatever on the first date or on the car ride to the first date I'm like you know actually since you were married you're statistically more likely to to get married than I am because people that are have been married before are 50% more likely to remarry and then it increases exponentially with a third and fourth marriage see there you go so the more you get married so statistically the more people get married the more they want to get married

Yes, exactly.

I would think it's the opposite.

Like if you get married and it doesn't work, you're like super gun shy about doing it again.

i don't know just me that's just me

so dylan let's get down to the nitty-gritty you were dating this dude in la uh you said he wasn't your type but you went on a bunch of dates with him

well he reached out to me on social media oh okay found me on social media and reached out to me and was like consistently messaging me And so I'm like, damn, like, I guess I'll give him a chance, right?

Lots of compliments, whatever i'm a sucker for compliments dude i'm giving the i'm giving the listeners a plain look here who isn't

and i have to say one thing that i liked about this guy that is that he was taking you to nice places like to me

it has nothing to do with the money but i agree with you like if a guy plans a date and like especially if he knows you're not from LA and he picks a super nice restaurant, a super cool place, I think it's a pretty amazing gesture.

Don't you think so?

And sometimes to me, it's like they totally gain me big time if they make a plan, if they invite me to dinner.

I really don't like when a guy sends me a message like, oh, do you want to meet over coffee?

You know, like, do you want to meet over?

Do you want to meet in the middle of the afternoon?

I'm going to be hungry after a glass of wine.

Yeah, like make an effort.

I know, make an effort.

A glass of wine, then you're on your own, bitch.

Like, no, I'm not putting on makeup for that.

i know i never go on coffee dates i refuse i think look if you want to meet me like for coffee in the middle of the afternoon i don't even want to i don't even want to buy like do i bring a do i bring a pitch deck like are you are you interested in solar you know like

that's a that to me is a business meeting any lunch whatever well i would do lunch i like lunch dates i do you don't like lunch dates

i like brunch dates not lunch dates

brunch there's There's a difference.

Brunch.

Brunch.

Brunch is lunch in the weekend.

Yeah, and brunch usually has alcohol involved.

Exactly.

Bingo.

Yeah, well, I like any kind of date that a guy actually plans, goes through the trouble of making a little bit of an effort, you know, make a freaking effort.

And I felt as your friend that this guy was at least making an effort.

to take you to nice places.

He definitely did, you know.

And then there's the old question of like do you want still or sparkling

and i'm like i don't want both you know i felt comfortable telling him that i always want both right like how do i decide like the the gas opens your stomach as one of my european friends taught me right so you need it to eat right um but then the still is like you know you can chug it and stay hydrated on a nice hot day out in the so you're like one of these i never heard anybody in my life do that but whatever

and then they're like do you want to mix it i'm like what heathen mixes these two bring me two glasses a lime for the sparkling a lemon for the still come on this is not my first roadie let me have my water

so i ordered that and then he he approved it so what i liked is uh and i very much like this is that they would say like what do you the waiter would come whatever what do you guys want right and then he'd look at me and he'd say what do you want and i'm like okay so i tell him and then he tells the waiter you know the waiter can hear right there I like that.

I think that's a gentleman.

Yeah, I always loved when men order my food.

I think it's super romantic.

And I know I'm going to get a lot of messages from the girls out there.

Oh my God, this is so old-fashioned.

I love these tiny gestures.

Like you said, even if the waiter is, because this is in the past, a million years ago, women were not supposed to talk to the waiter.

It was the guy that made the order.

And I know it sounds stupid, but I think, yeah, but I think it's like just so romantic if the guy picks the food or if he picks the appetizer you know I just love that I'm a sucker for old-fashioned gestures

I concur I entirely concur and like yeah I'm I like the old-fashioned stuff right my grandparents are married like 70 years or something wow 68 years you know

And women live longer, right?

So we're going to be alone in the end, you know?

So we might as well make some good night.

We're going to be with our dogs.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, so I really like that.

But there was, so you went on a bunch of really nice dates with this guy to a few nice places around town.

Let's get into the subject of

sex

because this was one of the most controversial things that I ever talked about on the podcast in the past.

You're dating someone new.

It's the famous withholding question.

Do you withhold?

Do you not?

Do you follow your instincts?

Do you wait a bunch of dates?

Do you play the

play this card?

Did you were you playing a game or you didn't have sex with this dude because you weren't attracted enough to him?

I'm not praying a game ever, but it's really interesting that you brought that up because I have one of my friends, right, in Miami, which was kind of what turned me off of Miami because they're like, you know, I have friends at high places, right?

He's definitely one of the actual wealthiest people in town, not just like says that they're wealthy, right?

You know?

And he was telling me, like, Dylan, why aren't you on these websites?

Like, every girl your age in their 20s are on these websites.

They're seeking arrangements, a sugar daddy, whatever.

Like, it's the only way to meet people.

Like, and then he told me all of these girls that I knew are on it, blah, blah, blah.

He kind of outed them.

Then I'm asking, like, okay, are they on it?

You know what I mean?

And he's showing me, you know, what his criteria is.

But

later on in the conversation, he said to me, like, obviously, like, the girls, the more,

what did he say?

He didn't say upper echelon, but something of that, you know, the girls with more quality, something of that along those lines.

Obviously,

they're going to hold out a little bit longer for sex.

Yeah.

And I was just thinking, like, huh,

huh.

It's true.

That's a really tough one.

If you want to get to know somebody first before all the chemicals come into it, I would say.

Yeah, I agree with you.

It's interesting.

On season two, I interviewed

a matchmaker.

And that was one of the most controversial episodes I ever did because she came on the show and she literally used this phrase.

She said, oh, you got to hold on to the goods because if you give the goods away,

the guy's not going to be interested anymore.

And I got hundreds and hundreds of messages from women out there and men that got super offended.

Like, oh, this is so old-fashioned, this is so cheesy.

What do you mean, give out the goods?

You know, and then I had another guest who is one of my best friends, and he's a guy, and he was like, Oh, you know, when women play the vagina card and keep the vagina hostage, it's so stupid.

We're gonna go and bang somebody else.

So, it's been like this big debate, you know, to give or not to give, to play or not to play.

And obviously I still don't know the answer to that question.

True.

And I think that nothing worth having comes easily, right?

No pun intended.

And

I would say that like,

regardless, like guys,

guys are always playing a game, whether it's conscious or subconscious.

They are always playing a game.

We're not the ones that play the game.

And like,

I think that if you sleep with a guy when you first meet him, that they think that's always what you do.

No matter if you like him, you have the best connection ever, you feel like this is your soulmate, you're Twitter playing, whatever.

You sleep with them immediately, they're like, Okay, she a ho, you know, she's gonna sleep with anybody she meets immediately.

Oh, really?

That is like when you say immediately,

in your opinion, when you say immediately, you say like on the first date or after two or three dates,

uh,

either one, like too soon.

You know, when it's too soon,

you know what I mean?

I used to always say the only people allowed in my in my pants before five dates are the Asians at the spa that wax me

for me.

I wax, so it's like, you know, if she shows for you, you can bone her, but if she waxes for you, marry her, you know?

I wax.

I wax for me.

Yeah, I know.

I wax for me because it makes me feel really good about it.

But yeah, it doesn't mean I'm going to bang every guy that I meet, but I have been guilty in the past of having sex like on the second date or third date.

Because in my eyes, if I meet somebody and I go on a date with a guy, two, three dates, I want to know if we have chemistry.

Because if you don't have chemistry in bed, I honestly don't want to keep going on and on and on on freaking dates with somebody if I don't have chemistry with them.

So to me, this is like key, key, key, you know?

Look, we're going to take a super quick break, a minute and a half for a word of our sponsors.

I can't believe half an hour already went by.

And we'll be back for the second half of the fourth season of Cat on the Loose plus Dylan.

So if you guys are listening, on my Instagram, send any questions, chime in.

This is a 100% organic podcast for everybody about sex, dating relations.

I don't think we're ever going to have firm answers about anything.

We're never going to know because it's not like a perfect formula, but at least we talk about it, try to figure it out.

We'll be right back.

Dylan, stick around.

Okay.

Okay, Doki, we're back.

This beautiful Tuesday here in LA.

First episode, season four, Cat on the Lose: 100% Organic, Non-Edited Sex, Dating, and Relationships.

And I am here with my gorgeous co-host, Sidekick Dylan from Miami.

Hi, Dills.

Hey, Kitty Cat.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

The only good thing about having bi-coastal people is that you can give me your perspective about Miami, and vice versa.

You were here in LA for a month, so now you can see the differences.

And a lot of people have been asking me that if it's easier to date here, if it's easier to date in Miami, we were saying that on the first half.

I think LA is a million times more real than Miami.

And I I know a lot of people call me crazy because they think this is la la crazy land.

But I actually think here men in general mean what they say.

They want to get to know you.

They want to date you.

And I think in Miami, it's more like Las Vegas.

They just want to bang you.

And you kind of agreed with me, right?

Definitely, definitely.

I agree with you.

And also like here in Miami, like, Let's just put it this way.

I don't know about you, Kat.

Like, would you raise a family in Miami?

Like, no.

I wouldn't, yeah.

Well, honestly, I gave you, look at my situation.

I moved back to LA

and nothing against Miami, but I honestly got super tired of the dating scene there.

I didn't want to have anything to do with it.

It was one player after the other, and I was just like, you know, and all these girls desperate for a meal and champagne and this.

It is to me, it's like a party town.

I think it's amazing for a weekend.

It's great if it's our basel, Miami Boat Show, blah, blah, blah.

But I agree with you.

If you want a relationship, honestly, I don't think it's the easiest, best place to be.

But then again, it's just my opinion.

Yeah, same.

Like, I would never raise a family here.

And like, guys from Miami are a testament to that, you know?

They're all local.

Local.

Yeah, so then we went back to this subject that I always talk about on my podcast, and we never come to a conclusion.

I've had a lot of guests here in the past, including a matchmaker.

By the way, you and I are going to interview another matchmaker on Tuesday, 10.

She's been in the business for 30 years, and I'm excited to ask her perspective on the world of dating because the first matchmaker that I had here on season two,

she said this thing about withholding sex, period.

If you date someone, in her opinion, you should withhold sex for three freaking months, five months, whatever.

I would never do that.

To me, that's a crazy waste of time when I meet someone, if I really like that person,

because I don't like having sex just for having sex.

I've been there, done that.

I need to have like a mental connection.

But in my mind, if I have that mental connection, if I kiss the guy and I like the kiss, I want to have sex.

I want to know if we have a great chemistry in bed.

But you seem to think that it's better to make the guy wait, right?

Definitely, definitely.

Well,

I was actually just thinking about something in Miami.

I overheard this guy on the South Point, right?

And he's on the phone with what I imagined was a matchmaker or something of that nature, or somebody that wanted to set him up with something.

And he's like, I don't want her to be younger than 25 because then she'll be too needy or older than 35 because then she'll be too independent.

And I'm like,

So he has like the specific.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

So he wants like

the specific

idea of a woman of a certain age, which I think is so silly because people are like, again, I don't think it has anything to do with age, but what the hell do I know about dating in Miami?

But in your case, when you're dating a guy, like you're dating a guy in LA, or in general, you just don't think it's a good idea to do what I do and just go for it and bang the guy?

Yeah, I mean, it kind of almost goes back to like the olden age, right?

Like, my mom's family is very religious, and she has six sisters, and they were all virgins when they got married.

Wow.

And she told me that from when I was like a preteen, I think.

And she's like, you wouldn't buy a pair of shoes without trying it on first, would you?

Exactly.

But

I think at at some point, yes, but you want to know the person before, like, what if the sex is great and you just like them for the sex, and then later on, you find out they're a shitty person that doesn't get the door for you, or ordered both waters that you're.

No, no, yeah, you gotta, you kind of, like you said, yeah.

To me, I have to go at least on a few dates, absolutely, and you've got to find out the basics.

Yeah, do we have things in common?

Like I said, I need a connection, I need a mental connection.

Then I think the kiss says it all.

To me, if the kiss sucks, 100% sure everything else is going to suck.

Don't even move forward.

Do you have some rule like that or you don't think it has anything to do with it?

Yeah, I think that's extremely accurate, actually.

And

I always feel like guys try to like kiss me like before it's the time, you know, and I'm like, no, like let me come to you.

You know, I always try, but.

they always like try and force it and it's almost like what always comes to my head i don't know if you if you feel this way too but I always feel like there's like this tribe of guys right and they all like have a group chat or they all talk and they're like oh did you bang her yet did you kiss her yet you know what I mean like did you sit on your face yet

and then if not if they're honest with their friends and they're like oh my god ew like you're you're slacking bro like what are you doing but i think dinner like you you can buy your own dinner i can buy my own dinner i don't need a meal ticket exactly it's a gesture yes

it's the gesture yes and a lot of girls I get a lot of flack for that because I always say that I like the old-fashioned guy.

And it doesn't have to be an expensive dinner.

I'll give you an example.

I went on a date with this guy.

I think it was our third or fourth date.

And he bought a pizza and a bottle of wine.

And we went and had a picnic.

on the beach.

And I mean, that doesn't cost a fortune.

It wasn't a fancy restaurant or anything.

And it was one of the nicest dates I ever had.

So I don't think you have to spend 300, 500, whatever the hell.

It's not, it's like you said, it's the planning and how he's going to think about it and make it romantic.

To me, that's what matters the most.

Exactly.

I agree entirely.

It's not about money at all.

Yeah, no.

Well, to some girls it is, but not in our case.

Yeah.

Okay.

Now.

Yeah.

What are you going to say?

You're going to say something.

My friend told me about how he had this dinner in Miami and invited all of these girls, whatever, all these people, right?

And he ordered appetizers for the table.

And then these two girls at the end, they just ordered caviar.

They each ordered caviar for themselves, even though we adore.

And it's like, you know, a little too transparent.

That's freaking rude.

But look, that is a problem that happens in Miami.

all the freaking time.

I have guy friends in Miami that tell me that all the time.

I take these girls to dinner and they start doing selfies around the restaurant.

They really just care about the place, about the food, about the champagne.

They don't care about me.

Unfortunately, there is this culture in Miami of being in these places for the wrong reason, not for the guy.

That's why I said to me, Miami just became like a mini Las Vegas.

Most people go to Miami just to party.

Yeah, yeah, to be seen, to go to this place, whatever.

What's the new place in the beach?

Carbon, right?

Everybody's going to Carbon, posting it.

I've been to Carbon, no shade, but it looks better in the pictures.

Well, it's okay to go to Carbon.

It's okay to go wherever you want.

What is not okay is to use somebody to go to a place.

That's what I think.

Exactly.

I don't think guys deserve to be used, and I don't think girls deserve to be used.

I don't think you should take a girl out to dinner thinking that you're going to get on her pants after dinner if she doesn't want to.

I think her entirely.

There's like a lot of usury in Miami.

And recently, as a two-suit recently,

I met this guy in Miami.

I was just going to, whatever, going going to Walgreens.

And

I met, he was so handsome.

And I saw, I met eyes with him.

And I'm like, oh my God, he's so handsome.

And so what would you do, Kat?

Like, would you talk to him?

Like, I don't know.

If you see a hot guy and you see, he's like, hello, and he's parking his car.

I smile.

Like, I try to be friendly, but I think the guy should come say something to me.

But if he says hi, I'm like, yeah, I'll say hello.

I mean,

I'm friendly.

Let's put it that way.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Yeah, I agree.

But me, like when I'm walking, I just, ah, there's so much usery in Miami.

You're absolutely right.

And there's so many weird predators just looking for me.

So I put on my AirPod

hat, you know, you won't even recognize me.

I go undercover to leave.

Yeah, I know.

Again, like I said, I honestly think LA is a little more user-friendly.

I think when you're walking around,

people just, yeah, maybe they just think you're cute or maybe they just want to be your friend or they don't have this fuck mode on, like, oh my god, I gotta fuck this bitch tonight, like they do in Miami.

The people in Miami are gonna kill me, they're gonna be like, Oh, I know, no, I'm not trashing Miami, I'm just comparing because I moved back to LA and you were here in LA for a month.

We're just kind of like trading notes about how dating is in one place, how dating is here.

I just, we, I think we agree that here, people are a little more mature in terms of taking their time, and in Miami, it's more like an immediate type of a situation i think i don't know

yeah instant gratification here today gone tomorrow right exactly i feel like people come to cheat on their wives here

i'm oh yeah be careful yeah i think when you meet and i don't want to be involved with that at all i do not condone that i do not support that at all my god me neither

what your problems are it's not okay i believe in karma so much

Seriously, I don't want to be in any kind of situation that, you know, I'm in the middle of, I don't care if the marriage is bad, if they're breaking up, blah, blah, blah.

I really don't want that karma for me.

I don't want anybody's man.

Plus, I would never respect that guy.

Because I think if you're like cheating on your wife and you're lying and you're doing all that, you should be man enough, you know, end one relationship before you start another one.

I kind of need to respect my man, you know, and I don't think I would ever respect a cheater, a liar, mostly because of the lie.

I just don't like the lie part about it.

I don't like the lie part either.

And like, once a cheater, always a cheater, right?

for sure yeah they say so they're gonna cheat on you too yeah i think so and i really

you know you don't know about that exactly you know

yeah the whole thing about having sex with the two with that one

no it's too gross and i honestly i think it takes such a strong man to have the balls to end a marriage and a relationship if they're not happy as opposed to cheating and living a double life because let's it's not easy to break up a relationship i don't think it's easy for anybody.

So, I think it's so much,

I mean, I would respect a person that does that so much more than I would respect a person who is doing behind the other one's back.

I agree, definitely.

So, now anybody we can respect more than somebody that cheese behind their wife's back, right?

For sure.

Well, probably while she's at home with the kids or buying wine shirts or doing some shit for him, probably.

That's that's a real problem.

I know, that's that she's doing shit for him.

And she's probably hotter, she could probably go and get it if she wanted to.

I know, she probably gets hit on him in a morning Starbucks run, and she's a classy lady, you know, yeah.

Seriously, I don't want that karma in my life.

Now, going back to what we were talking about on the first half, uh, we were talking about uh waiting, withholding sex, or not withholding sex, blah, blah, blah.

Let's talk about me because I want your opinion as my friend.

I am known for not waiting three months, six months, whatever.

But let's say once you go to bed, it doesn't matter if it's on the second date, third date, whatever it is, you go to bed with a guy.

I've asked that in the past.

Should you be 100% yourself, go all out, show the guy everything you like, everything you don't like, show all your moves?

Or should you kind of like the same thing as dating, thread lightly, take your time, getting to find out what the other person likes in bed?

That's so interesting you asked that because I actually read a a self-help book about this and it says slow it down slow it down don't don't don't pull out all the rodeo tricks all the gymnastic strengths in the first go you know keep it slow and it also says once you're vertical with somebody right horizontal once you're horizontal with somebody

the horizontal mambo

Yes, once you're horizontal with somebody, if you're on the couch, laying down, if you're cuddling in the bed, all that, you you know, sometimes I just want to cuddle without all the other stuff, right?

But that is like, it's like a gateway drug, right?

It's hard to be like, oh, I'm not ready once you're in that position.

Once you're in that position, you kind of have to,

well, you're not, you don't have to do anything, but it's expected.

It's a mutual expectation.

Yeah.

So I would say in my self-help book, it said, you know, do not.

do not give them the yeah the vegas show all the moves

which book was

for later you you know yeah and then it looks like you're learning you're a learning machine you know i'm reading i'm learning new tricks well which all for you babe do you want to share which book this is

you're like a walking you're a walking library no you have like a book for everything i love it i'm gonna put like dylan's must read book list on our instagram

Yeah, this is one of my tops.

I recommend it to all my friends.

You can't, it's hard to find copies on Amazon right now.

now it's called why men love bitches oh yeah you told me you're gonna get why men love bitches and i'm not sure

yeah yeah you told me that and i i can't wait to read it because i'm like do men really love bitches because i don't know do you think i'm i i'm not a bitch and i cannot be a bitch so maybe that's why i i have trouble you know that's how it starts

That's how it starts is defining the term a bitch, right?

And a bitch is not what you think.

There's a nice girl and there's a bitch.

And the nice girl is like, oh, sure, he wants to have sex with me.

And I'm such a wasp, I don't want to offend him or hurt his feelings or have bad manners.

So I'll have sex with him, you know?

Or they're weak or they're will, whatever.

But a bitch is like, yo, I have my own job.

I have my own career.

Yeah.

I have my own timeline.

Prove that you're worth my time.

Oh, yeah.

That's it.

Absolutely.

No, on that sense, 1 million percent.

Yeah, I think, and I've said that before, and I repeat it every single time.

There is a huge difference between wanting a relationship

wanting sex wanting someone and needing a relationship I think that's the key word you should want to be with someone to complement your life your projects that are you should not be meaty like I need a guy because I think men capture that too I don't know

Definitely.

And in the book, it says like when you have a one-night stand with somebody, whatever, like, you both know that you're doing something that's not honest, right?

No matter how much you like, love him, whatever, like, you know, you're not going to meet his mom.

And he's going to say, oh, yeah, we met in a bar and then we went home.

And, you know, here we are.

It's

true.

You know,

you want to meet his mom one day, maybe, or maybe not.

Actually, probably not.

Definitely not.

I always say the perfect guy has a...

a mother that's no longer with him.

Oh my God.

That's a very controversial thing.

Right?

I think.

She's not around.

And plus the whole wedding, the whole dog and pony show show is for her, you know?

She's like, friend, bro.

Yeah, I'm very, yeah, I'm very iffy about the wedding.

Yeah, I'm not sure I need that.

I dated my husband for six years before he convinced me to marry him because I wasn't too big on the paperwork.

To me, loyalty and commitment is something completely different to the paperwork.

And yeah, there are a lot of people that I think if both parties all they want is a nightstand, fine, go for it.

The problem is if one does and the other one doesn't.

So, getting back to the moves in bed, the book says, Yeah, tread lightly, don't become a Las Vegas showgirl the first night you're banging the guy,

present yourself slowly.

When I posed that question on a past episode on season three,

of course,

most men said, Hey, just be yourself, show me all your moves, bitch.

I want to see what you can do in bed.

They disagree completely.

But on the other hand, yeah, if you do something too crazy, you might scare the guy away.

Exactly.

The main point about all of this is that like, you don't want it to think you're a hoe, right?

I'm a Scorpio.

As soon as I tell people that, they think I'm a hoe, you know?

And like, oh, yeah, is that right?

But like, I think, uh,

I think women are mysterious, right?

You're French.

You know this.

You know the French mystique, right?

They look at your nails, they want to make sure your nails are looking good, they look at your hair, how you're taking care of yourself.

I don't know if you've ever seen this, but we call them foot starers in high school.

There are a bunch of guys that would just stare at your feet.

Really?

Like to the point where it was noticeable.

Yeah.

That is true.

No, but I don't think anybody ever stared at my feet.

I don't know.

And I told one of my friends about it.

I'm like, listen, this guy stares at my feet.

I don't want to say anything, but I have to.

And she's like, oh, yeah, he's a foot stare.

You know, who else is a foot stare?

I, yeah, one time I met a guy, and he was actually just a friend.

I wasn't banging him or anything.

He was obsessed with feet, he had this major foot fetish.

But that's a whole other, that's a whole other episode.

We can do a podcast about what

fetishes.

I know we need to do a whole episode about fetishes.

But let me ask you a question: speaking of cultural differences, yes, I'm half French, half Brazilian, you're American.

In general, my opinion my entire life was Americans are a lot more uptight when it comes to sex because Brazilians are 100% comfortable with their sexuality.

To them, sex is like totally normal and so are French.

They're like super

upfront about it.

They're comfortable with what they want.

They do whatever the hell they want in bed.

I it's at least it's my experience, not just from the few Americans that I dated, but I have American girlfriends too.

And I think they're very uptight when it comes to sex and feeling comfortable with their bodies, telling their partner what their partners what they want in bed.

And I'm wondering, I've always wondered that if it's a cultural thing that maybe Americans grow up a little more,

you know, you don't talk about that in school.

I don't know exactly what it is, but I just don't feel they are as comfortable expressing what they want as maybe other cultures.

Would you kind of agree or not at all?

I know you said you're a Scorpio, and maybe Scorpios

are an exception

to every rule, but do you think it makes sense what I'm saying, or there's no merit to it at all?

What do you think?

Sorry,

I believe that you're right, actually.

I mean, I haven't

ever been with a woman, so I don't know how they are, but I would say that.

I was going to ask you if you ever did a threesome, but I'm not going to ask that.

No way.

Like,

because honestly, I'm like, sort of, I'm super prude, honestly, a little bit.

I'm super like prude until I'm not at all.

You know what I mean?

I like to,

I like to hide that part of myself.

It's a big part of myself.

And

so for me, no.

But I think that for other people, yeah, definitely.

I think

people don't ask what they want.

I have a friend of mine who shall remain nameless if we get out of as a guest, but she told me that she's never had an orgasm from sex.

Seriously?

And I found that

one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard in my life.

Because, ouch, right?

What are you doing it for?

How old is she?

She's 20.

Now she's 25.

Yeah, see, that's what I mean.

Is she in a relationship or something?

Because what I would think, if you're not having an orgasm,

maybe you should talk to your partner about it.

You know, instead of lying that you are, she's probably lying to the guy.

I think it's so important to have this conversation.

And maybe, like you said, some women are just so uptight, they're embarrassed or they don't feel good about it.

I think it's so important to have, that's what I talk about: a connection.

Sex becomes so much more delicious.

Sex becomes so much more intimate intimate and amazing if you have the balls no pun intended or the vagina to tell your partner what you want and what you like and what makes you happy and what makes you excited right so like your friend if you're not having an orgasm and you keep your mouth shut and you're probably leaving bed frustrated every time

Well, that's what I said.

I'm like, well, what do you do?

And she's like, well, you know, I finish myself off later with like a vibrator.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't.

So

this is the idea you should give.

You don't have to engage in the acts at all.

You're just wasting time.

But that's very sacrificial, I guess.

Well, but you know what?

Maybe that's an idea that you could give her.

Say, hey, bring the vibrator into bed with your daughter.

Like, say, look.

I'm like, just take the vibrator, put it on your clip.

And your groovy, you know, not too much.

It'll like ruin the sensitivity.

Yeah.

I have asked a lot of guys that before, actually, I wanted to know.

And I asked on a previous episode, would you guys get offended if your girl brings a vibrator in bed?

And most of them are like, no way, no way.

If it helps to please her, most men are game.

I feel like they need to do it, though.

They kind of need to bring it.

I like guys that come complete with a vibrator, right?

They're all single.

You want the guy to come complete with his bag of tricks.

Well, most men are not comfortable doing that, by the way.

As interesting as it is.

They're not comfortable?

They're not comfortable bringing the toys.

I'm telling, and I learned that by doing the podcast, the girls are comfortable.

The girls have the toys.

But most guys are not comfortable saying, hey, I'm going to, yeah, I think for them, it has to come from the woman, at least most guys that I've talked to.

But yeah,

that's a good, that's a good advice for your friend.

I really hope she does that.

I know, I know.

I need to follow up because I was really concerned.

I wanted to help her, but she's like, Yeah, she was already over it.

You know what I mean?

So she's very uncomfortable with it.

But I was just thinking about my ex,

and he was moving and he had this box of sex toys.

And you never saw it.

I had a box of sex toys he wanted to bring to his new place.

But you never saw it until you moved.

We did not use them together.

I've never seen it.

I think I had seen it, you You know what I mean?

Because I'm mean, but like

I wasn't supposed to see it, right?

And he like wanted to take them with him.

And they're like from his ex-girlfriend.

Yeah.

You're not taking these with you.

First of all, it was like a hygiene issue.

He's like, no, I've cleaned them.

And of course, he had like the cleaning thing and like all of the different flues.

Listen, that just crossed the line between sexy and exciting to 100% disgusting and creepy.

Don't you think so?

Yes.

Don't

that's 1 million percent.

Listen, that's 100% a no-no.

You don't want to take your bag of sex toys from one girlfriend to another, toss them in the trash, and then you start all over again.

That is

Dylan, you have a collection.

That's a strong woman thing I did.

I made him throw them away in the dumpster, and I watched it.

Good for you.

Oh my god.

And he was like crying a little bit.

He was a little bit emotional and his like uncle was there.

Oh, stop.

he was like, even the box, too.

You want me to throw away the box too?

And I'm like, oh,

here, Mo, you need an extra toolbox.

Please tell me you threw away the boyfriend after this incident because that's just too freaking gross.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it was nice that he, it was nice that he capitulated, right?

But it's like a given.

Like, you know, he's like, oh, these are so expensive.

I'm like, I don't even know what this is.

Going in the trash.

I don't want to know what kind of pro you are.

On that note,

I have a feeling this season is going to be hot and heavy.

And I am so excited you're here.

And I'm going to tell, you see how the hour goes by so fast.

I mean, we have so many more things we want to talk about.

But, guys, um, DM us anytime on Real Cat on the Loose if you have any questions, any comments, any subjects that you want to talk about with me and Dylan.

She will be back for sure.

And so we can plan the next episodes because i always say that we are not experts at all on the contrary

we are just girls navigating

we are girls navigating the world of sex dating and relationships so all we can do is bring our experiences and give our opinion interview experts and non-experts and pass it on to you and then we all try to figure it out together so please shoot us messages, opinions, whatever you want to talk about.

And it's going to be amazing to have Dylan here this season.

I am so excited!

And hopefully, you'll be back here in LA very soon so we can do it together.

And hopefully, I'll be in Miami to do it with you.

And Friday,

we are interviewing Tammy.

She's worked for an elite matchmaking service here in LA for 30 freaking years.

So, if anybody knows about matchmaking, it's her.

I am actually going to ask her if she wants to give it a go and try to match us just so we can show our listeners the process.

The matchmaker.

What did you say?

When was she two weeks ago?

i know

right i uh the the matchmaker interviewed on season two

i said so do you want to try to match me just because i want to show people the reality like step by step and she was like uh honestly i'm afraid of of trying to match you because what if i don't match you you're gonna tell everybody that i didn't match

So I don't know if she thought I was unmatchable or if she was afraid that I wasn't wasn't going to like the dude and tell people that she did a bad job.

So she was too scared.

So whatever.

Next.

Typical Miami.

I'm sure it'll be better on the West Coast.

Yeah, we'll see.

I'm super excited to talk to her.

So guys, have a great week.

This was Cat on the Loose plus Dylan plus Carlito.

And we'll be back here for another episode on Friday.

Thanks, Dylan.

Oh, he's so cute.

If you guys don't know her face and if you don't know Carlito, they are gorgeous and so freaking adorable.

And I'm going to put her insta on my insta, but I'm going to say it here.

It's Billian Dylan and Cartel Carlito with a K.

He's the cutest freaking dog in the world.

Now he hears your voice.

Now he's responding.

Hi, Carlito.

I miss you.

I miss you.

Guys, have a great week.

And whether you have sex or not, please be safe out there because there are a lot of crazies.

I think that's the number one thing.

safety.

Safety, safety, safety.

Love you.