BIGGEST TURN ONS/OFFS WHEN DATING SOMEONE

Hi, guys.

I hope you had the most wonderful week.

Happy Friday.

Let's kick off this weekend with some fun and light cat on the loose.

I ask a question on my social media: What are your biggest turn-ons and turn-offs when you're dating someone?

Uh, you know, it's interesting because when we start dating, we have all the butterflies in our stomach, and we want to see the person and we want everything to be fabulous.

And then, all of a sudden, something happens that either we get completely turned off by that person, like, oh my God, she's not for me, he's not for me, or something so great happens that we think, like,

I think I want to be just with that person.

I think I want this to turn into a relationship.

So, I asked you guys, what are your biggest and on and offs?

And you sent me hundreds of answers.

So, first of all, thank you so, so much for all of you that participated.

I love when I get your messages, and it's so much fun.

So I compiled all the main answers because a lot of people send variations are the same.

And of course, interesting enough, guys have different

answers from girls.

So let's start with turn ons.

For a lot of people, including myself, Great kisses are a big turn on.

I've said it before.

I think when you kiss someone, if the kiss is bad, don't even go ahead to doing anything else because I think everything else is going to be bad.

If I kiss a guy and it's not good, I'm like out of there.

For me, the kiss has to click.

And usually, if the kiss is phenomenal, it's almost a

guarantee that the sex is going to be great.

So, yeah, a lot of people said

great kisses.

Then, number two, that a lot of you guys sent me, including a dear friend Omar.

Hi, Omar, miss you.

Passionate sex.

Yes, passionate sex is a huge turn on for most people.

Of course, who doesn't want passionate sex?

For me, I agree that it's a turn-on,

but actually,

it's even more of a turn-on the way a guy treats me just before sex, like the seduction and how he makes me feel, and if he's a gentleman, da-da-da.

And most of all, the way I am treated after sex.

I like that the person

continues with that, you know, the whole sexy seduction, being nice, being courteous.

I can't stand when, like, men, certain men, once the sex is over, they change completely.

But yes, I agree.

Passionate sex is a huge turn on, and it's a huge turn on for you guys out there.

Both men and girls send a lot of this answer.

Now,

a funny one: a lot of men said that they are very, very turned on by girls that wax all their pubic hair.

And a few guys, not a lot, less than 10, said it's a huge turn on when they don't wax, like basically when they leave it bushy.

So I will say, obviously, I think this subject is very particular to each guy

and I guess to each woman.

I am a girl that I've been waxing all of it forever and ever and ever.

It's just the way I like my body.

It makes me feel better.

It makes me feel sexier.

It turns me on.

But

what I would say is, guys, if you're with a girl and she shaves, she waxes or shaves everything and you don't like it.

After a few times, you should approach the subject.

Say, you know what?

I get really turned on.

If maybe you would not shave for me, maybe she will like that idea and you guys can play that game.

And vice versa for the guys that said,

I love when she shaves everything.

If you're with a girl or waxes, whatever.

If you're with a girl and she doesn't wax and that's the way you like it.

Maybe not on the first time, but if you like each other and you're having sex, I think it's all about figuring out together.

But it was very interesting that a lot of you men send this response shave everything or don't shave everything or wax everything or don't wax everything oh my god i love it i have to say that no man in my case and you girls out there let me know no guy ever told me if they liked it uh completely waxed the way i am or if they like it hairy

one time one time I was dating an Italian guy last year

and he was the only man in my entire life that made a comment about it it because like i said i wax everything and after quite a few times that we after we had sex one day he said you know what i'm super old-fashioned and he was much older and i don't know if that has to do with age he was like uh 25 years old and he's and he said i actually really like women that don't wax at all i like a bushy garden

So I started letting my hair grow for him.

And honestly, it was weird to me.

But like I said, when you are in a relationship,

in my opinion, it's all about making the other person happy too and figuring out what works for both of you guys.

And then it turned out that was the smallest of our problems.

The relationship didn't work out because he started criticizing my work, including this podcast.

And I decided, no, you know what?

I need a man that is proud of what I do.

that is super proud of my work, my podcast, and doesn't mind that I talk about sex.

But, anyways, yeah.

So, guys, talk to your girls about the way you like it.

But that was a funny thing that you said.

A lot of women said major turn-ons for them.

A guy with a job.

I mean, that should go without saying, but I guess I know the meaning.

It's like, you know, get your shit together.

And I agree.

I get super turned on by a man that has a stable life, that worries about his future, that can travel, that can pay a bill.

It's not that I want their money, but yeah, a lot of women said that I want a guy who is stable.

I want a guy with a job, I want a guy with money, I want a guy with power.

And I know a lot of men say, Oh, she's a gold digger.

And honestly, it has nothing to do with that.

But yeah, for most women, it's a huge turn on because it means the guy is ambitious, it means the guy cares about his life and who very likely worries about the woman he is with.

So I got over 100 answers from women saying, my biggest turn-on is a job, a guy with money, a guy with power, a guy with ambition.

And I couldn't agree with all of you girls out there more.

Yes,

to me, that's a huge turn-on.

A lot of you said a big turn-on is kindness, being kind towards others.

Yes, absolutely.

There's nothing worse than a rude person.

To me, a huge turn-on is brains i love love love talking to someone who is intelligent who i can have great conversation with uh it's not just about the sex yes i think passionate sex is super important but i don't think i would ever have passionate sex with someone who had nothing to say was stupid wasn't interested in life um for me the brain turns me on so much more before anything else.

It's like kind of in steps.

first i get turned on by the brain of course the looks you need to feel like you're going to have that sexual chemistry with the person but a huge huge turn on in my book is the brains uh a lot of you also said a big turn-on is when you treat me the same before we had sex and after we had sex yeah i think i said that before i agree i think it's very important

uh to be with a guy that will be a gentleman throughout not before he seduces you, so to speak, and then he's going to treat you like shit, for sure.

Let's talk about,

oh, yeah, a lot of people said,

both guys and girls said a big turn on is a sense of humor.

Absolutely.

Like, some people just take themselves too seriously.

And a lot of you guys out there don't think that's cool.

You're turned on by humor.

Absolutely.

Look, at the end of the day, as fabulous as the sex is, we're only going to have sex so many hours a day, a week, a month.

So, if you're with somebody that makes you laugh, that can take a joke, that doesn't take life so seriously all the time, yes, that's a huge, huge turn on.

Of course, a lot of guys said they are very turned on by a gray blowjob,

and a lot of women said

they're very turned on by small gestures, and I am too.

I love an old-fashioned guy.

What are small gestures?

You know, the guy that opens the door, the guy that picks the restaurant and makes reservations, the guy I even love when the guy orders food for me or recommends from the menu, or looks at the waiter and says, Oh, she, the lady is gonna have blah, blah, blah, and I'm gonna have blah blah blah, or he orders the wine that he thinks we're both gonna like.

All of these things totally turn me on, and a lot of you girls said the same.

This one is a very controversial one,

but to me, it's a huge turn on.

A guy that pays the bill, not

because of the money, because of the gesture.

I think it's so sweet and so caring.

And like I said, I am, it's just me.

I am super old-fashioned when it comes to dating because I think nowadays, you know, a lot of things are dying.

And I just think it's amazing and romantic and special though I'm not saying it has to be all the time of course in so many situations we can share the bill I'm happy to pay sometimes but to me just the gesture of paying the bills totally turns me on and a lot of you girls said it turns you on as well and of course I got more than a hundred answers that everybody said the same all girls love a gentleman.

I'm sure a lot of girls say, oh, I want a bad boy, da-da-da.

But I think at the end of the day, every woman wants to be treated with kindness, with respect, and feel she's a woman around her guy.

Okay, now the dirt.

Let's talk about what turns people off.

Girls, I hope you're listening to me.

What turns men off the most?

Over 300 guys send this same answer when they're

someone,

and you call and text all the freaking time.

So many guys said, Listen, even if I like her, she needs to give me a little bit of a break, give me time to breathe, give me time to answer.

Like variations of the same thing.

Oh, I took this girl on a date on two dates, and then she like on Wednesday, she's texting me all day long.

What are we doing for the weekend?

Where are you?

Yeah, men feel a little suffocated by that and even although i'm not a guy i agree if somebody did that to me after as many dates as it was text text text call call call i'd be like a little bit creeped out so girls if you like a guy very much

Great, but normally men have a different way of communicating and they have a different way of answering.

Give them a little bit of space.

Give them a little bit of a break.

They will, if they like you, they will answer.

It's the famous story about the ghost you can text once maybe twice to be nice because he could be super busy but don't be all over him if they don't answer you they're a ghost let it go if they answer you they like you they will answer so

tons of guys that said it totally turns me off don't call and don't be all over me and on the other hand Tons and tons and tons of girls said what really turns them off is to be ignored.

Of course, no shit.

Absolutely.

Who the hell likes being ignored, especially by someone we are dating?

I think we all have been there, or most of us have been there.

It's very painful.

It's horrible.

I think adults should not ignore each other.

And I've said that before.

If you're dating someone and you went through the trouble of getting to know them, you went through the trouble of dating them.

If you change your mind for whatever reason, or even if you're super busy with work, whatever it is that's happening in your life, I think everybody

on the planet has 30 seconds here, a minute there to send a message, not ignoring the person.

Even if you decided, you know what, I never want to talk to you again.

Okay, don't ghost, don't disappear, don't ignore.

Send a quick message explaining whatever the hell is going on.

I've been through it.

I told you guys the story.

I've liked this guy so much.

We went on so many dates.

In my book, we had so many things in common.

Everything was really flowing.

We were making plans through text.

And then all of a sudden, he just ignored, ignored, vanished vanish.

I don't think that's really nice.

And yes, it's painful.

And of course, it's a turn off.

But a lot of girls said that.

So, guys, don't ignore them.

Another thing that a lot of girls

said is total turnoff, hot mess.

What is a hot mess?

Basically, somebody doesn't have their shit together.

We all have bad days, we all have bad faces, we all have bad ears.

God, I know that I've been going through so many rough times since my life fell apart a few years ago with the death of my husband, blah, blah, blah.

The whole story.

I've said that before.

It's all in my book, Yellow Rose Injun coming up soon.

But, anyways, we all go through rough things, but like somebody who's just like an all-around hot mess, meaning or they don't have a job or they don't stick with a job or they're flaky or they say they're going to do something and they don't do it or, you know, anything in their life that is too complicated or too crazy or too flaky.

Like most people out there just don't want to deal with it.

So if you're a hot mess, my suggestion is Work on yourself first, get your shit together, figure out what it is that you want to do.

Whatever area of your of your life is i suggest a man diet i suggest a woman diet i suggest the concentrate on yourself because once you are out of the mess you're gonna be a much

better person for anybody who will want to date you so yeah hot mess hot mess hot mess appeared a lot and we're not talking about erica jane by the way for those of you guys that are following and i don't even have a tv channel but i see it on the on social media the the hot mess with the housewife from Beverly Hills.

That her husband was like this famous attorney, and they're like in so much financial trouble.

It's like a crazy star in Beverly Hills right now.

And I'm not going to give my opinion about it because I don't know anything about the case, but it's all over social media day and night, night and day, and I feel bad for her.

And her Instagram is hot mess.

That's what I remember about her.

Anyways, another thing that's a huge turn off to most of you, both men and women, Rudeness, how you treat others.

Like my dear friend Ricardo Chavez, the actor, said on our last week's podcast, a great,

great

red flag about someone.

If you're on a date and the person is rude to the waiter or rude to the staff, rude to someone else on the phone, it's

a major red flag that one day they're going to do it to you.

So, yes, I agree.

I cannot stand

rude people and I certainly cannot stand somebody who is mean and rude and disrespectful to someone else.

Yes, 1 million billion percent huge turn off.

And following that route to me, another huge turn off

is when somebody's aggressive with words because I've been through that before.

The other day, I was listening to some of my podcasts from season one, and obviously, I was in a really bad place

after Anthony died, and and after so many things happened to me, I think I was very fragile emotionally.

And I was kind of dating people without even noticing.

I was following this path of allowing people to verbally abuse me.

And I was listening to these episodes, and you guys can go listen because they are fun.

Now we laugh about it, but it's crazy the shit I accepted.

Just the guy putting me down and calling me a fucking idiot, a fucking moron, a stupid idiot.

I mean, we all have fights in dating and relationships.

Of course, nobody's perfect 24-7.

Couples fight, people argue, but I think you need to maintain respect at all times.

And I guess everybody agrees with me.

And today, it's a lesson that I learned the hard way by making this mistake over and over and over again.

But I tell you, if somebody doesn't respect you, there is nothing there.

Walk away.

I would never again.

would ever accept to be in a relationship that somebody disrespect me.

So yeah, if the guy calls you names, oh, you're a stupid idiot, you're a stupid moron, anything like that, anything like that

while you're dating him, trust me, run for the door, don't accept it.

It's not gonna happen just once.

A person that is rude and mean and disrespectful and verbally abusive, they will do it over and over and over again.

What else?

The top, top, top, top turn off

for women

by

far

is that

they said, when I'm having sex with my guy, and the minute we are done, he turns on the sports channel.

And I saw so many of you girls sending me this answer.

And I'm like, seriously?

Because honestly, nobody ever did that to me.

And I agree.

I think it would be a little too disrespectful if you're having great hot sex.

And I mean, they're saying like, it's not like the guy walked into the living room and turned it on.

They're saying like, basically, my boyfriend, my husband, my date, he had an orgasm and he turned around and grabbed the remote control and turned on the TV to watch.

Oh my God, whatever, whatever game is on.

That is really rude and disrespectful.

If there is something on TV that you must watch, maybe you can tell your partner before you get started and you decide if you're going to do a quickie or if you're gonna do it after the game or whatever.

But I agree, like, I would be so turned off if a guy did that to me.

So, guys, maybe you need to be a little more because, of course, girls have feelings in a different way, we're wired differently.

Maybe something that means nothing to the guy, maybe he means nothing by it, can hurt our feelings.

So, I would say, guys, be really careful with your bad side manners, not just before sex,

not just during sex, but after sex.

I think that's really, really, really important.

I hope you guys loved it.

And I have so many more, but honestly, I didn't even have time because as I was closing this poll for this episode, I've been getting a few more.

So maybe I'll do an extra episode about it.

And if you guys have anything else that I didn't talk about today, let me know.

But to me,

the top of my list nowadays is kindness, believe it or not, respect, being a major gentleman.

And it's funny when I say it out loud, a lot of people tell me, well, but you shouldn't even have to talk about it.

This is basics.

But unfortunately, yeah, we have to talk about it because a lot of people don't behave like that.

So if a guy treats me with respect and he's a gentleman, an old-fashioned gentleman, and an intelligent person, of course, with a sense of humor, and the kiss is fabulous, and then there is passionate sex, and then there is a a lot of love and caring and all that good stuff.

After great, that's it, that's all we need.

I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend.

Next week, I am closing season three of Cat on the Luz.

I cannot believe it.

Thank you so much for listening.

If you want to talk about anything that I haven't been talking about in the world of dating, sex, relationships, please DM me.

Please send me a message on my Instagram, CatZemodo, or the

Rio Cat on the Loose.

This is an open platform for all of us to talk about these subjects.

I know it's not a tough, it's a tough world out there dating.

It's a tough world being in a relationship.

It's a tough world being single.

It's a tough world figuring out who's the right person for you.

And I always try to do it real.

I never edit, like you guys know.

I keep it organic.

I keep it simple.

And a lot of people ask me, but why?

Why don't you have like this fancy music, fancy special effects, blah, blah, blah?

Because I want to be different from all the other podcasts i know there are a lot of fantastic podcasts out there but i feel like most content out there is super super canned and a little

unreal and there are some girls that I love and admire and they have they are have much bigger more famous podcasts than me but all they do is interview celebrities celebrity celebrity and of course it's fantastic and I would love to interview some of those celebrities but at the end of the day I think you guys relate because you know I talk the way we talk the way I talk to my girlfriends the way I talk to you on social media.

And I think we need a little bit more realness in the world of so many fakes and phonies.

So, I thank you with all my heart.

This podcast is for you, this platform is for you.

So, if there is anything at all you want to talk about, even if it's X-rated,

no problem at all.

I love doing those.

Shoot!

And I'll see you guys next week.

Have the most wonderful weekend and be safe out there.

And I think the name of the game always, always, always is Respect.

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