I Poll the Guys of Poller Podcast about everything sex, dating & relationships

Hi everyone, happy Friday.

I hope everybody had a great weekend.

I'm gonna get you guys weekend started with three super cool and I have to say handsome guys from California.

Hi guys.

Bo, Charlie, and Andrew.

You guys started a podcast.

So we are kind of doing like a

how do you say that?

I know DJs say B2B.

I don't know if we had a if we have a term for podcast bodies.

But anyways, you guys started your own podcast, which is called Polar, right?

Yeah.

And basically on Polar, you take polls and then you put the results out there, correct?

Yeah.

And you take polls about all subjects?

Yeah, all sorts of topics.

We've tried to have some that are more serious and some that are, you know, a little bit funnier.

But I think the bottom line is we just didn't want to separate ourselves as three white dudes doing a podcast it seems like it's a very saturated market already yeah well there's always room for a great podcast i think i think it's kind of like you know it's funny that you said that because a lot of the girls that do the same thing that i do they feel very competitive with each other and i think that it's kind of like writing music there is always room for more as long as you're doing a good job that's my opinion i don't believe in competition i think you know we everybody should um help each other and there is always space for for talent.

But anyways, so this is what I thought we'd do for fun today.

Since you guys are always polling everyone, I would like to poll you impromptu since you have no idea what I'm going to ask.

Are you guys game?

Yeah, we're all around.

Awesome.

So, you know, my podcast about sex, dating, and relationships.

So I'm going to pick some of the top subjects and questions that my listeners always send me, and then I'm going to add a few that I am curious about.

So, just so my audience knows, it's a very interesting combination because, Bo, you told me that you're single, correct?

Yeah,

Andrew is in a long-term relationship, right, Andrew?

That's right.

Eight years.

Eight years.

Oh, wow.

We have to ask some questions about that.

And Charlie is married and just had a baby that's right so that's pretty awesome because you guys are like in completely different planets I guess and you're you're really good friends and you do this this podcast together so I'm I'm interesting to see if you agree

or if one is gonna disagree with the other and if the the opinions change depending on what stage of life you're at with your relationships.

So let's shoot, okay?

Are you guys ready?

Let's do it.

I'm going to to start with the tough one.

And that's my question that I always ask all of my guests.

I want to know your opinion or the polling between the three of you.

Do you guys agree that most men are

intimidated by powerful women with public jobs like me, like models, like actors, like podcasters?

Or do you think it's baloney?

Oh, Charlie, you want to start this one off?

I'm incredibly intimidated.

Incredibly intimidated.

Yes, when ladies are like

very,

you know, established and they're successful and all of that,

it's a, I would say, a turn on, but I'm also very intimidated at the same time because the whole time you're like, oh my God, are you on the same level?

Or can you, you know, keep up?

So, yes, I'm a baby.

I'm very intimidated.

I love that you're so honest about it.

Does your wife work?

She does, she's a very successful lady.

But you didn't, how long have you guys been married?

Uh, we've been married for three years.

Okay, but that's pretty cool.

So, you are intimidated, but you still married her, correct?

I we had a kid, so yeah, also.

So, she keeps you on your toes.

Oh, most definitely.

So, about you guys, how about you guys, Bo and Andrew?

Do you agree or not?

Andy, you want to go?

Sure.

Well, first off, Charlie, you should have more self-esteem.

No,

I don't, I've never thought about it too, too much, but I would say I'm not generally intimidated by people who are sort of more like successful or or like, you know, well, you said like public facing, so like models or something.

I've definitely never dated a model before

but um but i don't think i would find that intimidating i mean like charlie said i think it's i think it's actually very attractive when people have a lot going on in their lives you know because it's just like when someone has a lot going on in their own life you know it's it's something that you can you know sort of share with other people you know it just i think if your partner has a really cool life it makes your own life that much more enriching i guess so i completely agree with you how about you bon

Yeah, I personally think that I would agree that most men, generally speaking, are intimidated by powerful, unsuccessful women.

And I think that's just a very toxic, sort of patriarchal kind of history that we have there.

I personally am very into

like women that are, I believe to be much more successful than me, much smarter than me, and have like a much better path.

I'm in business school right now, actually.

And I think I joked, but maybe deep down I was serious that I was coming to business school to meet a potential partner who wanted to go be incredibly powerful and be in the C-suite, and then we would get married, and then she's going to go be like a partner at Goldman Sachs or something.

I get to stay home and watch the kids and like teach them how to play basketball.

It's so cool that you're saying that because you would be game for like having a partner that is more in control than you, and you'd be okay staying home.

That's interesting.

I like that 100%.

And also, like, you know, if anything ever came up, I would be like, you know, she's like, you don't want to work.

You don't want to do anything.

I would just be like, listen, we got to the same business school.

Okay.

I did the work, but you wanted to have a career and somebody needed to stay home and take these

five kids to the NBA.

Awesome.

Okay, so this polling is one, Charlie said yes, very intimidated, and two said Andrew and Bob no.

Okay, so the no wins.

Now let's do a few sex polls.

Okay.

Threesomes.

Just Just tell me, are you game or not for you?

The other three of them are looking at, are staring at the microphone, thinking, come on, guys, fast.

I'm game, I'm game, but I don't want to do, I would not, and I don't know why, I'm not saying this is wrong, but I personally would not want to have a threesome with another guy and a girl.

Okay, no,

yeah, so threesomes with two girls, you would do.

How about, well, Charlie's married, I don't know if you want to plead the fifth, that's okay.

I would not do a threesome like with my wife, but at a time before my wife, I would partake probably in some type of those extracurricular activities.

That was a very politically correct tense.

Well done.

I think you reversed that one.

How about you, Andrew?

I have never been in a situation where I had to make this decision.

So I I honestly have no idea.

I, I mean,

decision

theoretically, yes, I guess theoretically, yes.

Okay, so I think was one, maybe, I don't know, uh, one day,

okay.

I'll let you guys think I could speak on behalf of the team and say that we all would be interested in doing, but then the execution, like, I think all three of us are definitely I think they're wondering, like, oh, you know, I'm not sure if my girlfriend, wife, potential suitors are gonna like my answers.

Okay, another sex one.

How about if a girl, your wife, your whatever, your girlfriend, wants to bring in sex toys in the bedroom, like with you?

Are you okay with that?

Or

do you feel offended?

Is that a yes or a no?

No, absolutely.

Bring on all the

ball, the single one, absolutely.

Andrew?

Yeah, I think it's totally great, honestly.

Yeah, why not?

Charlie?

You know, we have never used a sex toy, but if my wife said to me, yes, you know, I need to, you know, I want or need this sex toy, I would be definitely down.

We got to make, you gotta, you gotta switch it up once in a while.

When you're married, you know, you gotta, you gotta keep everybody on their toes, literally.

Yeah.

So, yeah, if she wanted to ever bring anything in, I'd be down for it.

Awesome.

I like that.

So that was a finally a poll that everybody agrees on.

I agree too.

Interestingly enough, on Instagram, all the men say, bring it on, bring it on, bring it on.

If you guys believe that.

And a few girls, I thought all the girls would want to do it.

They're like, I don't know, not for me.

I personally think, you know, you should spice it up whether you're married or not.

Okay, another one that is a big, big, big debate here.

on my podcast and we cannot figure this out so maybe you guys help me but that's kind of like for you and me but maybe they can help us out if you're dating someone that you really like like you went on one date

is it okay to have sex with that person on the second date we're talking about if you want to have a relationship with that person or as men if we have sex on the second date you're gonna be like oh no i'm sure she does that with all the guys Fuck her, I don't have a relationship with her.

Sex on the second date, deal breaker, or I will date her again.

Who wants to go first?

So let me just, I'll just weigh in first and just say we actually covered this topic once before when we did a romance episode, but we actually took it a step further.

I think we said first date.

Yeah, it can be first or second.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it's very backwards to think that if somebody, like if a woman wants to have sex with you on a first date, that that would be like labeling her as you know, anything other than the incredible like forward person that she probably wants to be.

And it doesn't, it doesn't have to insinuate anything beyond that, right so like i would never in my mind be like oh this girl just does this with every guy and i think a lot of guys get away with that behavior and you know a little bit backwards thinking right but i think it's it's kind of like if that connection's there and you both trust each other and you feel safe and everything feels great like to stop yourself just because you're telling yourself this narrative of oh this is going to mess things up or this is not what it's supposed to happen is actually getting in the way of all the passion and the connection that could just be organically there.

So I'm all for it and I don't think there's anything wrong with it with an either pop partier side.

I love that you said that before I let the other guys answer, because this is a very interesting question that we always have here.

Because I have interviewed guests in the past, like expert guests, you know, relationship experts.

And some of them, one lady came to my show a few months ago and she was like, oh, you need to withhold sex for like three months.

And all my male friends were like, what the hell?

You know, don't play this game.

Don't hold, don't do the vagina hostage kind of game.

It's a horrible idea.

The guy's going to go and bang somebody else.

So, ever since then, I mean, so many people disagree with that lady, and then a lot of people agree with that lady.

So, it's like a bit, but I like that you said that because I think it's if a guy has sex with a girl on the first or second date, and then he's like, oh, you know, goodbye.

I mean, he's a dog.

I agree with Bo.

If you're a nice guy, I don't think that should be the way you judge a woman.

But I want to know what Charlie and Andrew think about it.

And I'll just say one last thing.

Like, I also think just like it's to each his own, right?

Like, you know, if a woman was also like, I'm not going to sleep with you for a few months and I want to date you and whatever, that's also totally okay.

So it's just a matter of like, you know, again, respecting whatever that partner, you know, has set for her boundaries.

So if somebody was playing this game with you, like, oh, you know, I don't want to have sex, I don't have sex, would you put up with it for three months, Bo?

Would you really?

If I really had had a connection with that person, I felt like that was like, if this was a prerequisite to actually maybe exploring dating that person very seriously, and I was really interested in them, 100%.

Wow.

Okay, so it can go both ways.

Correct.

That's interesting.

I see Charlie's like laughing, kind of smiling.

Charlie doesn't believe me.

He doesn't believe me at all.

Charlie is the married one, guys.

Charlie, what's your opinion, please?

I would say

that I kind of want to piggyback off of Bo's answer here because it was such a well-worded answer.

But basically, yeah, I think if the woman is,

you know, they're obviously mature enough to make their own decisions.

And if you're lucky enough to that she has given you the

okay or, you know, the green light on a second date to pursue that, I think obviously she has a connection with you.

And if you have a connection with her, I think it's even better.

And then on the flip side, if she says, you know, I want to take things slow and I want to wait, if you really like her and you're willing to wait, I think that's great.

Also, I really think it's, I would say it's not a deal breaker if you have sex on the second date.

Awesome.

Can you tell us how many dates did your wife make you wait before you guys had sex?

It's a good question.

I think it was a long, it was such a long time ago, but I actually think it was like

like the third or fourth date.

So it was like kind of in that wheelhouse of being between like the second date and the

three-month window.

But I think that's reasonable.

How about you, Andrew?

Chime in, please.

Andrew is the one in the eighth year long relationship.

Yes.

No, I completely agree with Charlie and Bo.

I mean, it's, it's, you know, if someone wants to

engage in

intercourse with you on the second date,

he's being, he's, no, guys, he's making this face like trying to be super serious.

You know, engaging in.

I would take it as a compliment because, like you're saying, it's all about sort of your comfort level.

So, if someone was like, felt comfortable enough with me to, you know, have sex on the second date, that would, you know, that would be kind of flattering, right?

That they felt so comfortable with you.

But if, yeah, if you don't want to go right to it, then that's cool too.

We can, we can wait.

Awesome.

You guys are amazing.

So, this poll, everybody agrees it's not a deal breaker.

Now, next question:

you guys must have used dating apps before.

I think we all do at one point or another.

It's this big conversation: which one is better, blah blah blah.

Apparently, most

people lie,

but I'm talking about like little white lies, you know, like your height,

or how old you are, or you know, minor things about your personality.

if you still tangled up in a divorce like

i'm not talking about big lies small little lies so the question is are small little lies okay

before a first date or not just be honest up front about everything who wants to go first bo also just say yeah i don't know if actually charlie and andrew actually caught uh or in or ever single when dating apps are really like like coming online i think like i don't know about you guys actually had any experience on dating apps i personally have plenty of experience on dating apps and um i think the white lies are not a good idea i mean i think there's certain things like a divorce is maybe a little bit like that's kind of okay you know as long as long as when you get to in person that all kind of comes out i've had situations like that um but like personally like i don't mind that a single thing on my like dating apps i'm like yeah i'm a business school student you know like

we're gonna be doing a frugal date maybe at first but whatever but like the idea is like you don't want to set the bar too high and then let somebody down when you meet them in person.

Like, you want to be yourself.

Yeah.

And then, guess what?

When I'm in person, maybe I'm even better than the digital version of myself that I market myself to be.

But a lot of people go on there and they try to oversell on the digital thing.

And then you get in front of them and you're like, you're like a completely different person than what you're selling yourself as.

And like, what do you think is going to happen?

I'm only here because of what you sold me on.

I got you.

So now it's all off.

I know.

But that's the problem.

People think, and I have a lot of guy friends, they say the same thing, and women say the same thing about guys.

They think like, oh, once he meets me or she meets me, he's going to like me so much that he's not going to mind this and that and that.

But I kind of agree with you, Bo.

It's like, I hope the person will like me for me the way I am.

So I think I personally think it's a bad idea.

How about you, Charlie, and Andrew?

Charlie, go first.

I'll say honesty is the best policy.

I mean, I'm very open.

I'm very forthcoming.

You know, I'll tell you exactly how it is.

So, you know, I expect that in return, because I also think, you know, you don't want to set up your first date or your relationship on these white lies, right?

I mean, because that's like foreshadowing on what could happen in the future.

Oh, you got away with a white lie saying you're 5'8 when you're really 5'5.

What's next?

You know, I accidentally, you know, I just, you know, talked to a girl when I really kissed her, you know, while we were dating.

So like, it just, it gives the wrong type of momentum, in my opinion, for that relationship.

If you're going to go off of white lies, and honestly, if someone swipes right, or I don't know now, is it right when they don't like you?

If they swipe right or left, what is it, left?

So, if they swipe left just because they don't like your height or what you do or how you look, then screw them.

They're not the type of person you want to be with, anyways.

I agree.

And you guys, it's funny that you said the height.

Did you know it's like the number one little white light that guys do?

And I swear, every time a guy tells you he's 5'8,

he's 5'5.

Every time.

We gotta normalize 5'5 again.

Normalize.

If you guys are 5'5, you should rock it.

I am 5'5, 5'4 and a half.

So when a guy tells me he's 5'8 and I meet him and I'm wearing flats and like we're the same height, I'm like, dude, you're not 5'8.

So just own it.

i'm sure you have other great characteristics

i hope you wear the high heels on the first day just to really make them feel bad when they come on that i should right usually i'm like super cool about like working my heels around the guy's height because i want to make them feel great but if the guy tells me he's five eight and he shows up and he's my height it's like you know

that's you know and if he's shorter than me i think that's a big lie i don't even think it happened to me.

I don't think that's a small lie.

How about you, Andrew?

What do you think?

Well, yeah, I think it's an interesting question.

I would say don't lie.

The thing, though, that is tricky, though, like you're saying, people are always lying about like things like their height.

So sometimes when I say I'm 5'11, people assume I'm like lying about that.

Because they're like, well, if you were, because I'm like, you know, I'm six foot in shoes.

Like, like, I sort of count.

They're like, well, if that was true, you would just say that you're six foot, so clearly you're footing.

I'm like, no, I'm just being honest, but people don't accept your honesty at first.

So there is sort of a weird etiquette that you have to navigate, I think.

But no, generally speaking, I would just stick with the truth.

It's you're going to be safer, better off in the end.

Yeah.

Are you guys, did you guys always put everything on your profile super honest about you?

Never did any little white lies, no no covering up on.

I've never lied.

I know that Charlie Andrew, so like I'll first say this also, like, I'm a big guy, six foot six, and even so, like, the first thing that you're doing.

You're six foot six?

I am.

Seriously, are you a basketball player?

Stand up.

Stand up.

I'll stand up back here.

Oh, I see.

He is.

I'm like, what's up there?

For some reason, I thought you were small, like when I saw your photo.

See, he's six foot.

I don't even know.

That's really tall.

I can wear two heels when I meet you.

Exactly.

Well, what's funny, though, is that people, women will intro, and the first thing I'll say is like, are you really 6'6?

And I'm like, that would be a weird thing to lie about.

Like, I guess I'm 6'3, but I wanted to really take it to the next degree.

I wanted to make sure it's I'm even taller than.

But yeah, Charlie and Andrew, correct me if I'm wrong, but never had dating profiles.

But I will tell you this: they are

like in my circles of people that I know and for people that are fans of the podcast, these guys are very desired like individuals.

And it's because

they are, and obviously they're studs and great guys.

That's the thing.

As we've gotten older, I think women sense this like honest, paternal, slash, like husband.

Like they have that great husband vibe to them.

And like

everybody's past 25, everybody switched from like, I want the bad boy to like, oh, I want these nice guys that like are going to take care of me.

First of all,

the three of you are super, super young.

So I don't know the hell hell you talk about like getting older.

And I'm...

Look at the grays.

I'm getting old.

You look 40 to 49.

I'll double check in person when I arrive in LA and then I'll tell my listeners if you look old.

But in like here, through Zoom, you look great.

All three of you look great.

All three of you are very desirable.

Oh, my Zoom is telling me that we have a few more minutes.

We're going to take a break in a little bit and come back.

I lost track.

Okay, so everybody agrees white flies are a horrible idea, right?

So girlies, don't lie.

And guys, don't lie about your height.

It's super, super freaking annoying.

I went out to the lawyer, like, I'm on a man diet.

That's a whole other story.

If you guys didn't listen to my, I've been on a man diet since April.

But anyways, I decided to go on just a dinner date.

I'm on a sex diet, man diet.

But anyway, I went on a dinner date and the guy told me he was 5'8 5'8 and he looked really good.

Like this, we did a bunch of video dates because I do video dates before I go on a real date.

And when I got there and he got up of the chair on the restaurant, he was shorter than me.

So he was almost, um,

I don't know, five foot two or I think.

I don't know.

That's tough, though, because here's the thing.

Like, all three of us are lucky that we are like taller guys and you know, whatever.

Like, if I was five foot five or five six, I feel like I would be, I would be very insecure that women would not want to go out on a date with me.

Yeah, but like, like, how do you not be exactly?

You make the person go all the way there,

and you know, if you're lying about it,

you know, it's just gonna waste both of our times.

That's what I think.

I think it's better to own it, and you're gonna find someone who's not gonna be able to do that.

Would you have gone out with him if you'd known he was five foot five?

No,

if he was five, five, if I really liked it, but he was shorter than me.

Oh, shit.

Shorter.

He was like this extremely short guy.

And I mean,

I'm sure he's a great guy, but it kind of bothered me.

And not only the height bothered me, it bothered that he lied to me during all our video dates.

And I think when you start something on a lie, it just made me wonder.

you know, what else is he lying about?

Because I am super, my, my best guy friend tells me I'm too open and too honest, but I think it's better to be like that you know so when you meet me you already know my entire life because all you have to do is listen to the podcast but I think it's better to be honest you know and if you

by the time you meet me you already decide if you if you want to meet me or not

guys I'm gonna take I have many more questions so if you're okay I'm gonna take a two minute break for a lovely sponsor and can we come back and do a few more?

Yeah, of course.

Thank you so much.

This is on the los on a friday with the three super cool guys from the podcast polar bow andrew and charlie bow is single are you ready to mingle

he's just laughing

i'm getting like a bunch of messages on my instagram like show bow's face show bow's face

calm down girls

9021 bow is the instagram okay so here he just told you girls if you want to find it 9021 bow that's very cute and casual.

I'm going to check my DMs or no, it's just my mom.

I'm like, you guys are doing great.

Don't worry.

I promise you, some of my girlfriends are going to go there and snoop and find you.

Don't worry.

We'll be back in a minute, guys, with Bo, Andrew, and Charlie.

This is really cool.

Cat on the list, right?

Sorry.

It's okay.

Hi, we're back.

This is a lot of fun.

Time was barely fast.

With the three super cool, handsome guys from the podcast, Polar, Andrew, Charlie, and Bo.

Andrew has been in a relationship for eight years.

That has to be a whole other show

because I have 10 million questions to ask how somebody has a relationship for eight years, but that's a whole other subject.

Charlie is married with a new baby and Bo is single and he's six foot six.

He really is.

All my girlfriends are like texting me here.

It's too funny.

They don't even let me finish the podcast.

They're so curious.

And I am turning the game on these polar guys.

They're super cool.

They're letting me ask them all kinds of questions that you girls have been sending me and they're giving their opinion, which is really nice.

I think you guys are being a little too politically correct.

You're being a little too nice,

but I appreciate it.

So, can we play?

Yeah, yes.

Next question.

Super controversial.

Please be as honest as you possibly can as men.

Ghosting.

I didn't even know what freaking ghosting was until it happened to me.

Do you think it's okay to ghost somebody you're dating, or do you think it's super rude and everybody deserves a text or a phone call?

I think the way I normally do it is what happens is sometimes people, like I have some people that are just very aggressive on dating apps, so they'll skip the dating app and they'll just DM me or something like that.

And if I feel like they're making a move and I'm not interested, I just will not respond.

So I don't think it's ghosting.

It's like, you know, I never even got to that first part.

But I'm asking.

Yeah, I start dating you, I will not ghost you.

I will eventually, if it's not working, I will say, you know,

this isn't vibing and it's time to move on.

Because I think ghosting is rude.

I agree.

If you've gone a few dates.

Yeah, that's what we're talking about.

If you're going on a few dates and the person just disappears, do you think, do you do it?

Do you think it's okay?

You said no, right, Bo?

No, it's not okay.

Yeah, I mean it.

I don't want to.

How about you, Charlie?

Did you ever ghost somebody before you got married?

What do you think about it?

I've never ghosted anyone.

I think you're a complete doucher if you ghost somebody.

If you go on, if you made the attempt to go on dates and get to know someone, the least you can do is just say, hey, you know, it's not working out.

Or you can do a white lie.

We could do a white lie.

I found someone else or something like that to lay them off easier.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, there you go.

i agree completely i love that you're a douche if you ghost how about you andrew i know you you andrew probably doesn't even know what that is do you since you've been

i may have been guilty of ghosting someone at some point i don't know i it's hard to say it's been a long time um since i've been able to Ghost or not ghost anyone.

I probably kind of been guilty of it, having done it at some point, but not like, it wasn't like someone who i was going on dates with it was more just like someone maybe who like something was maybe kind of in the works and then i just sort of dropped off the face of the earth so you do

i will say i feel terrible about it and i i would never do that now that i am a more mature person

i definitely i think it's it's bad i feel bad about it yeah i agree with you guys i think it's super rude like charlie said if you go through the chowboard of inviting somebody out going out on a bunch of dates with them everybody's entitled to change their mind.

Be nice, send a text.

If you don't want to talk, say, Hi, look, I don't think this is working out.

I'm really sorry.

I think it's a lot classier.

I believe in karma.

I don't know if you guys believe in karma.

So I honestly never ghosted anybody.

I always send a message.

I'm always super nice.

And I was ghosted back in April by a guy that I was dating for quite a few dates.

And I thought I was like, Yeah, he was a douche.

You're right.

He broke my heart.

He made me go on the longest man diet of my life.

Oh, geez.

Now that you know, he goes to you, you're like, oh, I know that I deserve somebody that doesn't have, isn't that even sure?

Like, a good thing you didn't fall for that guy, too.

Seriously.

Oh, I kind of fell for the guy.

And that's how the whole

debate about having sex on a second date started because I admitted that I had sex on the second date with him.

And all my friends said, oh my God, you jumped the gun.

What a horror.

Don't do it.

And I

think that's giving men a bad name here.

Yeah, we dodged the bullet.

Yeah,

yeah.

So, no, but we went on a bunch more dates after the second date.

And then after a while, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

It doesn't matter.

But I agree.

Don't ghost.

I think all the four of us agree it's a bad idea, right?

Right.

Be polite.

Okay,

that's an interesting one.

It was half and half on Instagram and Facebook.

Women asking you out, do you think it's super cool?

I love it, or you think, no, no, no, it's too much.

I'm old-fashioned.

I want to make the moves.

It's super cool.

But they, you know, that means that they also have to be okay with if there's, you know, if it's not going to happen.

And I always respect somebody from taking their shot.

I think, you know, guys, I do it all the time.

I get rejected left and right, just like anybody else that would try to make a date happen.

But

yeah, I think I totally respect somebody willing to try.

but do you like it do you think it's attractive like if a girl oh bo you know hi so not do you want to go out for a beer or something do you like that approach or do you think for you it's too much

i i kind of like it partly because i think dating too as a guy there is that like that antiquated sort of patriarchy where you're expect and we talked about this on the bar pod too it's like you're expected to pay for the first date and it's kind of this like romantic thing and you know whatever as somebody like i feel like if a girl asked me out then it'd be pretty cool and we'd go and probably split the bill and it'd be be like, all right, is there something there?

Is there not something there?

And, like, that's uh, that's pretty rad.

Okay, so you would go if you like the girl and the girl who invited you out, you would go out with her.

Yeah, and

it'd be hot.

If I liked her and she asked me on a date, too, that would be a turn hard.

Okay, how about you guys?

What do you think about that,

Charlie?

I honestly don't know.

I want to say

I'm okay with it,

but yeah, it it is

it would

he's thinking thinking thinking yeah I don't know yeah it would be great it would be great if someone has the confidence to ask you out I guess my only thing would be

I guess in the back of your mind you'd be thinking like

I don't know I don't yeah no it would be yeah no it would be great it's great it's great

Ask away ladies on the back of your mind you would be thinking what come on

I'm just wondering like I guess guess, but I'm the way when I'm saying it, I realize like men think the same thing about men, but like, I'm wondering, like, how many people are that is she asking out on dates?

Is it just me?

Is it a bunch of people?

So, there is that little prejudice in your mind that you think it's a guy's game and the guys should ask the girls out.

That's fine.

Tell us the truth, please.

I'm a little old-fashioned.

I'll admit that.

Yeah, girls want to know the truth, the truth, the truth.

So, girl,

I think if they ask, but there is a little bit in the back of my head, like, what else, you know, who else is she asking?

How many dates is she going on?

The whole deal, that type of thing.

Okay, how about you, Andrew?

Do you think it's okay, or you like to make the moves?

No, I'm not a move maker.

I'll say that

basically, anytime anything happened in my dating life, it was purely because a woman was making a move.

Not like to my porn, but I'm definitely like very much a

shot person in that regard.

So, no, I think it's great.

That's interesting.

All right.

So, two guys said, Yeah, make the moves, and one guy said, No, I'm old-fashioned.

I think it's really cool that girls make moves.

I don't, it's not my personality.

I guess I don't have the balls, I never did it, but I think it should be, you know,

why only guys make the move.

That's another question.

So,

do you guys agree?

Most dating experts say men should make the move because men are hunters.

Men want to go and pursue you and feel like they deserve you and feel like they're going to blow up.

Do you guys agree with this?

Are men hunters that need to go and conquer?

There's a legitimate evolutionary argument to be said there of like, yeah, typically men were out there hunting and gathering and women were, you know, waiting for them to come back with the food and whatever.

But I do think that the rate that society is evolving and just kind of understanding that we really are all equal,

if we're all all equal, then anybody can do whatever they want to do and take their shot.

And so, like, I, I mean, I'm, I love the thrill of the hunt.

It's fun.

Like, I love like, you know, the rush of trying to ask somebody out that you're really into or whatever.

But who's to say that a woman wouldn't feel the exact same way about asking me out, you know, just because of some wiring maybe?

Yeah, but it's interesting that you said that you like the thrill of the hunt because a lot of guys, it's all about the hunting.

And that's why these experts say, well, if you give out the goods, I hate that phrase.

I think it's so freaking old-fashioned.

But that's what the ladies have said.

Oh, if you give out the goods on the second date, then he has everything.

Why is he going to go after you?

But it's interesting, I guess.

Apparently, a lot of guys out there, it's not even so much finding the right partner.

It's more about like just hunting, right?

Well, is it also like, you know, is the hunting really wired into us, you know, through evolution or is it socializing to us as, you know, children and whatnot?

So, like, that's where it gets like, I think, really confusing.

Because I mean, if you're being told to be some achoo hunter man, then you're just falling victim to other people telling you what to be instead of just doing you.

Yeah.

You know, regardless.

Yeah, I completely agree.

Okay, so I forgot.

We all agree that

we...

Andrew and Charlie have not answered yet, I think.

I think I took up all the airtime on that one.

The thing about that for me is it's like what like women aren't like caribou or something you know what i'm saying like

even if like thank you for not using the word whale thank you for using the word caribou

no

but you know i mean i i i can see how there maybe is some sort of like hunter instinct ingrained in our brains but

I don't necessarily understand how that applies to like your romantic pursuits.

So, yeah, I don't know.

It doesn't really resonate too much with me, but I'm not an expert in the subject matter.

So, I don't know.

Yeah, well, you were the guy that said you're shy and you like being pursued.

And I guess your girlfriend must have pursued you really well because you've been with her for eight years.

So, that's super cool.

I would love to meet her one day.

Maybe I'm gonna go like a carolo, so it works out.

She hunted you down.

Still, kind of on the same line of questions, because that's like we get a lot about those

um how about if you guys are dating okay the woman pursued you or you pursued whatever doesn't matter and then she tells you like let's say went on one date or two dates then she sends you a message saying hey i like you do you want to go out again

Are you okay with that?

Or do you feel like, oh, she's being too aggressive?

She should have waited for me to invite her out again.

Bo?

Depends on your attachment.

Depends on your attachment style is what I've been, what I've been told.

No, but

I think that's totally rad.

I mean, I think there's a pressure as a guy, like if I have a good date with somebody, there's like a pressure in a clock that starts ticking of like, oh, is Bo going to reach out and like the next day and schedule another date in the future and make plans and whatever?

And it's really hard because sometimes like it's I have a nice date.

It's not that I didn't have a nice time.

I just have other things, a million other things going on that it doesn't cross my mind to keep kind of actively doing the dating in that sense.

But if she wants to take the helm and ask, I think that's awesome.

And again, it could be a very great turn on.

That chemistry is there.

Yeah.

It's how about what do you think, Charlie?

I know you're married, but you can still give your guys' opinion.

Yeah, I know.

I think that's great.

I think there's so much in like this game of like, like Bo mentioned, you know, when am I going to text?

How long do I have to wait to text after the date to say I have a good time?

Am I being too vulnerable?

Am I seeming, you know, like, do I, am I too clingy?

And so if a girl comes out and just, you know, from the get-goes, like, hey, I had a really good time.

Can't wait for the second date.

I think that relieves a lot of, you know, angst and stress on the, on the guy's part of, you know, how do I handle this situation?

And it just opens that flow of communication and openness.

So I think that's great.

How about you, Andrew?

Yeah, no,

I think so.

It's easy to know.

Yeah.

Oh, hello?

Yeah, better.

Yeah, no, I completely agree.

I think it's nice to know where someone's, yeah, where someone's head is at, you know.

So,

you guys are, you guys are super open-minded.

That's nice.

Well, it's a, you know, we're all pretty like, I don't know, we're all open books.

I think that's why we're all in the pod together, just like you have your pod, whatnot.

But at the end of the day, I think we all want the same thing.

It's like everybody wants to love somebody for who they are and be loved for who they are.

And there's a little bit of a game that sometimes gets played in the beginning, but eventually that all has to vaporize away.

You just kind of see if that is all there.

Yeah, that's the next question.

The dating game i always ask that question because i tell people because i was married for 14 years i don't know how to play games i am horrible at it and all my friends all the experts that come on this podcast say well that's why you're single because you don't play the dating game

You just open your mouth, you tell them what you think, you say yes, you say no, da, da, da, da, da.

You need to learn how to play the game.

Is there such a thing as a dating game?

Do we have to play it?

Tell me the truth, please, each one of you.

I'm going to tell you exactly what I've come to the conclusion of in my life.

And it's, I think this is, this should hold true for all your listeners and whatnot, but I've had my ups and downs dating.

I've not found my special version yet, whatnot.

But the bottom line is if you just focus on being the best cat and the best Andrew, the best charlotte, best beau, and you just like have that self-love.

I swear to God, as soon as that flip switched and I wasn't trying to go out there and impress anybody or do anything other than be me, like this podcast, it's like we're just like, whatever, we're just doing it.

As soon as I could give a fuck about what other people started thinking about me, all of a sudden my dating life just took off.

Yeah.

Like all of a sudden, I was like, really, the idea is just like, once you have that, you don't have to go out and play any games or do anything differently.

You just be yourself and it all just flows right to you.

And that's how you should live your life and date.

I love it.

I agree with you.

It's funny that you said that because interestingly enough, ever since April, I decided, I said, I'm going to take a break from dating.

I'm going to go on a man diet.

I'm going to concentrate on.

I'm going to concentrate on my projects and work, ta-da-da, myself.

Now, all of a sudden, I get bombarded by men wanting to go out with me, sending me messages.

And I'm like, no, no, no, no, leave me alone.

And you're right.

I think it's maybe when you're trying too hard, people.

And it is like you're actually playing the game without even realizing it.

Like you have this energy now of desirability and they can sense it and they want more of it because you're not out there trying to please anybody but yourself yeah what do you guys think charlie andrew chime in please in my in my short time of dating i would say that i felt like there was always a game being played i just maybe that's because i was not focused on myself and being the best charlie that that i could be but um yeah i just i i just remember like the whole like texting how often do you text when do you respond?

You know, if she takes a whole day to respond, do you have to take a whole day to respond?

Do you seem to be thirsty?

Do you respond right away?

I just hated everything about that.

I hated it at all.

I know with those games.

So I think Bo's right.

And you got to focus on yourself.

And as long as you don't, as long as you are comfortable with yourself and you don't care about what other people think, I think that's when you.

bring back that the best energy and and all those games seem to go away kind of yeah it's funny that you talked about the the texting thing because all my girlfriends, every woman I know on the planet, they're like, oh, wait, let the guy wait 20 hours.

Let the guy wait the next day.

And I'm like, no,

if he texts me and I want to talk to him, I'm like, hi.

And so the other day, some dude that I was texting with, he texted me and said, oh, I like you because you actually answer my texts.

And I'm thinking, so are we supposed to not answer the text?

But I just think it's such a silly game.

Like it's children's game.

if you want to talk to somebody why would does that make you want the person more bow as a single guy like if you text a girl and she makes you wait 20 freaking hours or two days it's it's obnoxious like once in a while and i'm i'm obnoxious on instagram with how many stories and things that i post but like i'll post some stories or whatever and i'll see a girl that i'm interested in be the first person to like see it or whatever and i would have texted her 20 hours earlier now i'm like oh you want to play the game Then like now all of a sudden you're less attracted to me because I think you are like trying to play this whole thing.

I'm like,

I'm old enough to know how the game is playing, okay?

And I'm not playing that anymore.

Yeah, see, I agree with you.

I tell girls all the time, I argue with my girlfriends all the time, these silly games can backfire because I think they think guys, that's another thing that women do.

I think it's super rude.

You invite a girl on a date and you show up at the restaurant and she's 10 minutes late.

It's okay.

But some girls, at least here in Miami, they make you wait an hour at the restaurant for them on purpose.

On freaking purpose, oh, let him wait.

The more he waits, the more he's gonna want me.

And I'm thinking, that is so disrespectful.

That's just disrespectful.

Can't disrespectful.

You can't respect that person's time, you know?

That's not nice.

Exactly.

So, girls, from the three guys here, don't play these silly games.

If you want to, somebody texts you, text back, right, at a timely manner.

If somebody invites you on a date, I think 10 minutes is acceptable, maybe 15, right?

But the guys should try to get there first, but don't make it wait that long, I think.

Yeah,

Andrew, do you want to chime in?

Sure.

I mean,

I'm really,

I don't know hardly anything about this.

I don't even really know what the game is.

I'm going to be honest.

Yeah, when you were seeing manager on Blackberry Messenger, how long would you wait to respond?

You are a hunted carrot.

What was the animal carrot?

I have agency.

But the whole, yeah, I just, I don't even know what the game is.

And like, I mean, I think it all just comes back to like honesty.

And like, if, yeah, if you're playing these games and you're sort of being disingenuous because you think there are certain rules about the way things are supposed to go down, yeah, it's only going to lead to problems and miscommunications.

I feel like you're just,

it's not worth it.

I would think, I would internally be like, you're not good enough anymore for these guys god forbid they're single ever again but if they were they wouldn't play no games they would not even go right for it so the answer to our question is there a dating game i guess the answer is yes there is however

like bau was saying the more you are yourself these days the better it is right

Authenticity is key.

Authenticity is key.

Yeah, I think there's so much phoniness out there in the world of dating.

So many filters, so much baloney.

I'm all like about organic, showing up, showing what you are.

And I think the world is a little hungry for that.

We're in LA, we're in the capital of like fake people.

No, I am.

Miami, we're finding that too.

But obviously, like, that's why when you meet a real person, it feels like you've got it so much better because you're like, you finally, it's almost like you got both rooms above the crap.

And then

Miami became kind of like Las Vegas.

I don't know if you guys know that.

People come here to party and they come here to have a good time.

And of course, there are a lot of men that want to party.

They come to have sex, which is fine.

Just tell the truth.

Don't lie.

They want to have a relationship.

Oh my god, hold on.

My battery here, my Zoom is dying.

Anyways,

guys.

Sorry, I don't know.

I have the charge on it.

Last question before I let you go.

Cheating, is it a deal breaker?

Or can you work through it?

Or no, no cheating?

Oh, she gone.

That's a deal breaker.

Again, it's all about respect.

Like, if you can't just break up with me because you want to be with somebody else, like, then

cheat on me, it's like, you want to have your cake and eat it too?

Yeah.

Go.

You're out the door.

Yeah.

Do you guys agree, Charlie and Andrew?

100% agree.

Zero tolerance policy.

Once you do that, you're done.

Excommunicated, exiled, the whole deal.

Done.

Send them to the gulag.

Wow.

Throw them to the alligator.

Ladies, don't cheat to these guys.

How about you, Andrew?

Is that a deal breaker?

That's a deal breaker.

Okay, they said they're.

But if we cheat, then it's all good.

That's all.

Ah!

No, he's joking.

Noble standards there.

We practice what we preach.

We practice what we preach.

So you guys are super loyal and you're super honest and you're amazing.

And Bo already said his Instagram, 9021Bo.

How many times a week do you guys do your podcast for people that want to find you?

We have, normally we do it once every two weeks or so, and we've been dwindling a little bit because we caused, you know, with Swapped and Andrea's a fellowship and Charlie's heading kid.

We took a little bit of a high-end, but we'll be coming back pretty soon.

So be on the lookout for another podcast.

Please come back.

Yeah, please come back because I love you guys.

You're awesome.

Thank you so much for doing this.

And I'm going to to be in LA in a few weeks.

So I hope

we can do this in person maybe and like

have a few drinks.

And then it will be even more fun.

Rock the heels.

We're ready for it.

I will bring the heels.

Thank you guys.

You're amazing.

Have a wonderful weekend.

This was a super fun cat on the loose.

Ah, before I let you go, one more, one more.

And I think that's more for Bo.

Bo, no, everybody asked that.

Tinder or bumble?

Tinder.

I don't want to upset anybody that I know that maybe works at Tinder, but I think Tinder's done.

Bumble's better, but I think Hinge is the best one of the days.

Hinge has figured out

the algorithm of having to make good offerings.

Do you pay for them?

No, I pay for one called Locks Club, which is a Jewish version of Raya, which I think is hilarious.

And then I've been rejected by Raya four times.

I would love to get on there and then pay Raya, but Raya doesn't think my podcast is taking up so charlie's like cracking up it's funny that you said you don't pay because my best guy friend keeps telling me catherine you only get garbage because you don't pay you need to pay you need to pay if you pay you get better stuff there i refuse to pay they don't give you better stuff but they try to obviously that's they don't have a good bottle you know without the hitting customers so i think they need people to pay but uh hinge dude get on hinge hinge is i did but hinge is like oh you can send a like if if you want to send a flower you need to pay and i keep sending likes and i'm like i'm not gonna freaking pay for a flower i don't think girls should pay and then i open my hinge and it's like empty empty empty so i think they're punishing me for not paying yeah but the flower i they needed it

The flower is problematic too because right you get one you get a rose or whatever once every two weeks and if I send you a rose now

it's like this guy's weights like oh this guy sent me a rose waits when he can send a lot of rose

right yeah this guy's going out of his way he's using his posts.

Like, you know, it's tricky.

It's really tricky.

Yeah.

So, see, you're not paying for any, and you're getting good results.

And I think I'm realizing that I am playing the dating game, and I apologize to anybody.

The roses.

See, the more we talk, the more in-depth we get.

Okay, next one, we're going to do over drinks, and then I know I can squeeze more real information out of you guys.

Yeah, which won't be broadcast.

Thank you so much.

You guys are amazing.

I really appreciate it.

This was a lot of fun.

And thanks for having us andrew charlie and bow and 902 and bow instagram the single handsome super tall guy and the podcast is

i forgot

and i'm not even drunk polar i'm drinking water

polar polar polar i'm gonna put all the information i'm gonna put all the information on my videos my posts and my insta because i know i'm gonna get inundated with questions and i'll see you guys in la in a few weeks thank you

have a wonderful weekend thank you this was a super fun Caton Baloose Friday, and I'll see you guys next Tuesday with a fabulous guest.

And we are closing season three next week because I want to take a break when I go to LA for

non-Memorial Day, Labor Day.

You deserve it.

Yeah, thank you guys.

I'll see you soon.

Bye-bye.

Have a great weekend.